Back on deck and campaigning for Labour

Hi, folks.

It may surprise some of you to learn that I have experienced a significant change in circumstances since I last blogged with any regularity.

For those who don’t yet know, I will spell it out for you: @humphreycushion and I have entered into a long-term partnership. With smooching and stuff.

me and Humph

I am such a fan of the aforementioned smooching that I have now moved to Mid-Bedfordshire, despite its reputation for having the most appalling MP in Parliament.

Speaking of outspoken narcissists and their spurious narratives, during this period of transition, I’ve remained largely quiet in the hopes that certain people would be discouraged in their attempts to portray me as a danger to themselves and others.

Short version: they weren’t.

It has in fact reached a stage where I see little point in allowing myself to be marginalised any further, so here I am.

In other news, shortly after Jack Straw announced his intention to stand down as an MP, I up and joined the Labour Party. As many regulars will be aware, I was pretty vocal about my opposition to the invasion of Iraq and the Blair government’s complicity in torture, and felt unable to support the Labour Party while Tony Blair, Jack Straw and David Miliband played any significant role in it.

Now they’re all out, I’m on board, and looking forward to campaigning locally in the run-up to the European Parliament election.

If you’re local and Labour, I look forward to seeing you at the coal-face.

Cheers all.

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Nadine Dorries misleads Parliament about her relationship with Andy Rayment

Short and sweet, folks. This is the tangled web one weaves…

Nadine Dorries in a statement to the Parliamentary Standards Committee on 15 October 2013:

“My business partners, who have nothing to do with me personally-he is just a business partner, with his wife-were very clear that, in going into business, they did not want to be brought into the public domain via my political position.”

Nadine Dorries in a statement to the Sunday Mirror on 17 November 2013:

“Andy and Ann Rayment are two of my closest friends.”

Ouch. Dorries has form for showing contempt to Parliament, but this example’s so clear, it’s going to sting like a paper-cut between the fingers.

See also: This earlier (and long but important) post by Unity, who has noticed this same contradiction.

Pleb!

Just me wearing a t-shirt out the front of Downing Street the other night. No biggie.

You too can look this cool*. Find out more here.

Pleb at Downing Street

(*Come on, who are we kidding? There’s no way you could look this cool.)

Page 3 and the ‘News in Briefs’ lie exposed

Last week Rupert Murdoch’s tabloid flagship The Sun finally brought an end to the shameful practice of using Page 3 models to sell the opinions of senior editors to readers as if they were their own.

This practice began under the since-disgraced editor Rebekah Wade – now Rebekah Brooks, soon to be inmate #5318008 if I’m any judge – but rather than let it die with her career, Dominic Mohan saw fit to let it drag on for nearly 4 more years under the pretence that it had all been a clever bit of post-modernism (i.e. before he was suddenly removed as editor for reasons that I am sure will become clearer to us as time goes by).

I am here to refuse Brooks, Mohan and other intellectual cowards the luxury of a neatly rewritten history.

‘News in Briefs’ was no joke, and my leading example from February 2004 needs no explanation. It is stark, it is real, and it is a perfect example of how sincere Rebekah Wade/Brooks was in her efforts to use topless models to push political propaganda, and how deeply she and others invested in it:

Page 3, Feb 4 2004

These further examples paint a more complex but no less compelling picture. They date from August 2004, when David Blunkett’s reign as Home Secretary was about to end in ignominy over issues surrounding his affair with Kimberly Quinn.

Blunkett was balls-deep in the kind of ‘love rat’ and corruption scandal that tabloids normally go nuts for, but in this case, the subject of the scandal was not only politically-aligned with then-editor Rebekah Wade/Brooks, but a personal friend to boot.

What usually happens in cases like this is that the damning details are played down or not explored at all. Meanwhile, the feral enthusiasms one normally expects from tabloids are diverted into undermining critics/accusers while sympathetic editorials paint the besieged ally in as positive a light as possible.

In this case, the editorials extended onto Page 3, and praised three distinct Home Office initiatives over three editions (the Friday before the scandal broke cover, and the Monday and Tuesday following):

Page 3, AUG 13 2004

Page 3, AUG 16 2004

Page 3, AUG 17 2004

She has yet to admit to any of this (or anything else, for that matter), but I remain confident that these editorials were strategically placed by then-editor Rebekah Wade/Brooks in order to better service her friend and political ally David Blunkett, and not the result of any topless model(s) spontaneously deciding that they would use the empowering platform of Page 3 to express their admiration for the work of the beleaguered Home Secretary.

That said, there is an outside chance that this was a genuine and spontaneous outpouring of emotion following the first of two resignations:

Page 3, DEC 16 2004

Those not wanting to see what happened after Blunkett’s second resignation should look away now.

‘News in Briefs’ editorials were not designed for shits and giggles, folks. They served a very real political purpose, they exploited Page 3 models way beyond any concerns about pornography*, and I’m damn proud to have campaigned against the practice for as long as I did.

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*Related link: No More Page 3

See also: This video explains the situation in more detail and this video (NSFW) contains many, many examples

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Page 3: Propaganda [sfw] from Tim Ireland on Vimeo.

Page 3 :: Girls + Words from Tim Ireland on Vimeo.

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Cute Font launches

It’s funny what life throws at you sometimes. For years I’ve been putting little notes to one side that describe ideas and projects I doubt I’ll have the time for. I showed one of these to Ms Humphrey Cushion a few weeks back. Then, shortly after, this (finally) happened:

Cute Font – men’s & women’s t-shirts with hidden swears

[some detail -> Cute Font: how we put swears on your chest]

I say ‘finally’ because that particular scrap of paper was nearly 12 years old at the time. My sincere thanks go to Humph for some great collaboration and a proper kick up the asterisk.

James Bond, 007: double entendres, double-time

For those who enjoyed my Star Wars double entendres video, here’s a fresh treat for you: a single double entendre from every official Bond film from Dr. No (1962) to Die Another Day (2002), sped up in most places to make it all slightly less tedious.

That’s 40 years of smut and innuendo condensed into two minutes, ending with a car crash named Madonna:

007: Double the Entendres! Double the Excitement! Double the Speed!

Keep in mind that Double Entendre Day is now only 8 weeks away, and the way the weather is turning, now would be an especially good time to buy a fresh t-shirt or two, (a) to replace the grubby ones you’ve been using as undershirts every day for the last 6 months, and (b) to attract a potential mate in time for the breeding season. If that’s your bag.

Cheers all.

Up. Yours.

I made this uplifting thing for you. It is yours.

Star Wars: A Homage (for Double Entendre Day)

Fans of Bloggerheads are invited to enjoy the next 10 weeks with me as we prepare for Double Entendre Day. Regulars are especially encouraged to inspect the nature of the messaging on our t-shirt collection.

More details are on the official Double Entendre Day website today, but there’ll be plenty of action here and on my Twitter feed. If you’re totally new to all of this, and feel entirely out of your depth, then you may want to start here.

Have a great Monday, and remember: there are only 72 sleeps until Double Entendre Day!

LED Torch Fun – Light Gun Project #1: Recycled Scorpion

For reasons that regulars will find easy to guess at, I’ve put off waving these toys around for quite some time now. The good news is that this has resulted is a stockpile of illumination weaponry; this is just a teaser, and I have much to show you in coming weeks.

LED Torch Fun – Light Gun Project #1: Recycled Scorpion

For while I’ll merely be showing you existing builds and comparing them with a yet-to-be-finalised method for comparing measurement of both lux and lumens, but it won’t take too long for the videos to catch up with works in progress, and by then we should be well into the torches that require two hands… or a bloody great tripod.

Another new video should be out by tomorrow soon enough, folks. You should expect something a little bit different, and I would hope just a shade more brilliant.

Cheers all.

Barry Smith on the Occult and the End of Days

The late Barry Smith was a tireless preacher of evangelist/conspiracy rhetoric, and I can tell you now that he sure knew how to spin a yarn and hold an audience.

I have here a special treat for Barry Smith enthusiasts; a 2 hour lecture by Barry that was unavailable online until today:

Barry Smith Lecture: The Occult

You may think that you don’t have the patience to listen to over 120 minutes of fire, brimstone and assorted argle-bargle, but I can assure you there will be plenty of envelope-pushing to pique your interest, pretty much from the outset.

The audio is a bit shaky (the volume was very high and muddy on the VHS source) but from about 90 seconds in you’re going to start to forget about all of that, and be transported by Barry’s many insights and certainties about signs of the Occult, and indications that the End Times are upon us. Enjoy.

Jimmy Savile and the benefit of hindsight

Towards the end of his life, a woman with a striking resemblance to Jimmy Savile appeared at his doorstep claiming she was his child. He refused all contact with her, and even after he died she was initially refused access to materials that would allow her to conduct a DNA test.

She began a legal challenge that eventually led to DNA tests commissioned “by executors of Sir Jimmy’s estate” that were “inconclusive” (based on smoked cigars left in his home, apparently, but this detail may be tabloid garnish). She has since dropped the whole matter in line with her mother’s long-standing advice that she “leave it alone”, which shouldn’t surprise anyone given all of the recent revelations and allegations about the man who has become known as one of the most prolific sexual predators of our time.

You are invited to gaze in wonder at this item, where The Sun publish the response from Savile’s “former personal assistant” during the dispute. Full text appears below the scanned article for those of you in the cheap seats.

scan of Sun 19 Dec 2001

Sir Jimmy Savile’s pal says love child tale is ‘lie’
By RHODRI PHILLIPS
SIR Jimmy Savile’s former personal assistant yesterday rubbished a blonde’s claims that she is his secret daughter.
Janet Cope, 70, said the telly star would never have risked an affair.
And she dismissed Georgina Ray’s claims that the Top Of The Pops legend had a fling with her waitress mum in 1970 as “grotesque.”
She added: “I made all Jim’s arrangements, knew his every movement and who he was friends with.
“I’ve never heard of Georgina Ray or her mum. Jim cared too much about his image. He wouldn’t have risked it for a cheap fling.”
The Sun told last week how Georgina, 40, is calling for DNA tests to prove she is the daughter of Sir Jimmy, who died six weeks ago. The mum of three, from Cannock, Staffs, denies being a gold-digger.

What a difference a year makes, eh?