Anne Milton - Guildford MP (and Dipstick)

28 Days Later (aka The Walking Dead)

It's been nearly a month since this blog highlighted this serious conflict of interest. I've been a little busy lately, but the time has finally come for me to check in and let you know what has happened since... and what has not.

(Note - It may seem a bit piecemeal in places, but a big pile of documents beckons, so I've no time for neatness.)

- Most recently, and probably most importantly for a lot of people in the Godalming area, Anne Milton has turned out to be predictably ineffective in the debate over the proposed excavation of Eashing Farm for millions of tonnes of sand and valuable Bargate Stone. She's trying to make the right noises, bless her, but the fact remains that she isn't the bold boat-rocker her supporters make her out to be, and she really can't afford to go head to head with her Conservative councillor colleagues on Guildford Borough Council or Surrey County Council. Especially not after pissing away her first year in such grand style.

- Still, Anne has recently tried to undo some of the damage by Keeping very Busy Indeed before bunking off on holiday. A recent flurry of parliamentary activity is evident, and Anne even took the time to invite herself to the 2006 Bramley Village Fete.

(At the fete, she actually stayed for longer than 15 minutes, and judged the costume parade and the cake competition. She also managed to make her way around every single stall... bar the one I was working on, of course. Oh, and she doesn't know it yet, but she owes me one. Water pistols were a popular item at this particular fete, and she came *this* close to a coordinated soaking. It was me that talked the young folk out of it. Not that I'm Down With The Kids or anything... it's just that I know exactly when to employ the ever-persistent myth that Anne Milton eats children.)

- Onto other photo opportunities... you may recall that a reported resemblance to comedian Julian Clary has been milked by Milton in the past. It even led to a meeting between the two late last year. But this report of their most recent meeting appears to suggest a wary/weary tolerance on Julian's part...

New Statesman - Julian's week: Later I arrived at a bookshop in Guildford to do what is called a "literary event". Because my autobiography has come out in paperback I am obliged to turn up and talk about myself for an hour. Waiting outside were the local press and the Tory MP Anne Milton, puckering up for a photo opportunity. (Identified as lookie-likies in Punch magazine, we go way back.) Coming over all showbizzy, I rather forgot my position as Kate Moss's lover and gave her a kiss on the cheek. Of course, the flashbulbs went off and our innocent clench was captured.

- Back onto conflict-of-interest reactions... I always know when I score a palpable hit, because ardent supporters of Anne Milton (like Dennis Paul and Mike Chambers) always follow up by going more than a little apeshit. Now an anonymous attack site has emerged that (once again) tries to convince people that I'm in the employ of Sue Doughty. It also seeks to interfere with my ongoing income.

So, just to summarise...

1. They're out to prove that I've launched a personal attack with an unspoken political agenda by launching a personal attack with an unspoken political agenda.

2. They state that I work for Sue Doughty while - at the same time - they seek to harass me at what they clearly regard to be my actual place of work.

Sheer genius.

- Tripping back to this link for no reason in particular, I seek to remind Dennis Paul and Mike Chambers that voters probably won't trust them with council budgets if they have a proven history of misusing time and equipment paid for by the taxpayer.

- Housekeeping: On 27 May 2006, Sue Doughty was re-selected as prospective parliamentary candidate for Guildford. The navigation bar has been updated to include a link to her campaign website. I've also added a link to the Wikipedia entry for the constituency of Guildford, but will not be adding the Wikipedia entry for Anne Milton just yet, because it contains much silliness at the moment. (Not guilty. Cross my heart and hope to die, stick a needle in my eye.)

- Opinion: On 27 May 2006, Sue Doughty was re-selected as prospective parliamentary candidate for Guildford. That means that she and her imperfect, inadequate and totally inept carbon copy will be going head to head. Again. Unless Milton gets de-selected, of course. The local Lib-Dems may not appreciate my pointing out the obvious, but here goes... A lot of time, money and effort went into passing Milton off as a Tory clone of Doughty, and - even with the magic of potential on her side - she only scraped by with a 347-vote margin. Now that the cold, hard reality has sunk in, do you really think she can pull it off again? Before you answer that, consider that even if Milton makes a concerted effort to lift her game in the coming months/years, she's hamstrung by a dearth of goodwill. This, combined with the impact of recent boundary changes... well, it doesn't take a genius to work out that the Conservatives will need to field a much stronger candidate next time around. Given the farce of the past election, track record is going to be a key issue... so a quiet word in Nick St Aubyn's ear is probably called for.

- Finally, we come to the bit that hasn't happened; almost a month has passed since Anne's major conflict of interest was made public, and she still hasn't updated her Register of Members' Interests. Is she really hoping to sweep this under the carpet?

A clear conflict of interest

The most recent edition of the Surrey Advertiser reports the following:

A major shake-up of the health service across the South East has been agreed which will see services such as GP surgeries delivered by one organisation in Surrey... the number of primary care trusts (PCTs) - the organisations which run GP surgeries, community hospitals and commission care from acute hospitals - will be reduced nationally from 303 to 152. Five PCTs in Surrey - North Surrey, East Surrey, Surrey Heath & Woking, Guildford & Waverly and East Elmbridge & Mid Surrey- will amalgamate to form one county-wide trust.

OK, we're talking health here, so Anne "I'm a nurse!" Milton clearly has the inside track... and certainly must know something we don't when she makes a rare out-of-step move like this:

Leader of Conservative run Surrey County Council Nick Skellett has welcomed the creation of one PCT.... However, Guildford's Tory MP Anne Milton has dubbed the changes to PCTs as "disruptive, destabilising and making patient care suffer".

Disruptive, destabilising... and making patient health care suffer. I suspect there's a reason that Amme's objections are prioritised in this way, and that the reason is hidden in the following list:

Saroj Auplish - Director of Public Health, North Surrey PCT
Graham Henderson - Director of Public Health, East Surrey PCT
Judi Linney - Director of Public Health, Surrey Heath & Woking PCT
Ruth Milton - Director of Public Health, Guildford & Waverly PCT
Jonathan Hildebrand - Director of Public Health, East Elmbridge & Mid Surrey PCT

(I bet you're looking at the name 'Ruth Milton' right now and screaming; "Gotcha!". Heh. Sorry to tease... but we're not there yet. Ruth Milton is not related to Anne Milton. At all.)

When the five PCTs amalgamate to form one county-wide trust, you can be sure that they will not be needing five Directors of Public Health.

Also, the new Director of Public Health - whoever that may turn out to be - is most likely to be based at Woking. (Out of all the current PCT offices, Woking has the most office space and the best communications; it's not centrally-located, but it's sure to be any bean-counter's primary choice.)

This is sure to worry one Director of Public Health in particular... Dr Graham Henderson.

Dr Graham Henderson is one of the few regional Directors without a secondary role to fall back on (many of the people on this list have a dual role such as 'Director of Public Health and Medical Director') and even if he is awarded the new central position of Director of Public Health for Surrey, Dr Henderson's commute will switch from Reigate to Earlswood (about 2 miles) to Reigate to Woking (about 20 miles).

As it turns out, Dr Graham Henderson's wife already has to drive approximately 20 miles to her office and/or the occasional event... in Guildford.

Yes, folks... we're finally there:

Dr Graham Henderson, Director of Public Health for the East Surrey PCT, is the husband of Anne Milton, Guildford MP.

(Sidebar: Currently, the only online record that exists that shows that these two people are connected by marriage is on this weblog. Please leave any tips in the jar.)

Now, why do you think Anne Milton would disagree with her Conservative colleague so boldly by describing the upcoming changes to PCTs as "disruptive, destabilising and making patient care suffer"....?

Could it be because of a clear conflict of interest?

Anne herself must surely recognise this. Why else would she declare a nameless husband on an unnamed trust to the House during this debate?

Sadly, that's as far as Anne's transparency goes. Her husband's role and its possible impact on her participation in any debate on the subject of Surrey-based PCTs is not listed in her Register of Members' Interests and - while the relevant letter is not included in the report - there appears to be no record of her making any such declaration when she recently gave evidence to the Surrey Health Scrutiny Committee (PDF).

When in comes to any comment or consultation on upcoming changes to primary care trusts, Anne Milton should keep her mouth shut... and if she can't keep her mouth shut, then the first words that dribble from her lips should be "While my husband's future income and convenience depends greatly on maintaining the status quo, I do feel that I should say this..."

That way, when she describes the impending PCT changes as "disruptive, destabilising and making patient care suffer", people will know that she means disruptive for her husband and destabilising to her routine... and that any mention of patient care is a mere afterthought.

Will Anne play ball during Volunteers' Week?

Pandora: First he hopped on his bike and bought a "green" car, then a team of huskies dragged him across the Arctic circle. Now David Cameron is getting ready to perform the third great PR stunt of his reign. In a bid to publicise his new brand of caring Conservatism, the Tory leader has instructed all of his 197 MPs to spend their spring break working for local "good causes". A confidential letter sent by the leader's office on Tuesday commands his MPs to spend the second half of their forthcoming parliamentary recess helping out with national Volunteers' Week. "What I would like you to do is either visit, or volunteer to work with, an appropriate local organisation as close to that week as you can," it reads. "If you could let your whip know what you are planning to do, we will compile the information to make clear how we are supporting the week." The letter, seen by Pandora yesterday, has met with a mixed response from the Tory rank and file. Although Cameron's stock is high following the local elections, MPs on the right of his party are upset at being told how to spend their free time. "We've got a two-week recess, which starts next Friday," says one. "Most of us have booked family holidays and aren't about to cancel them to work in the local Oxfam or whatever left-wing charities Dave wants us to support so he can get a few cheap headlines."

(Oh dear. Are *all* of the dissenters right-wing? Are *all* charities left-wing?)

Anne has lost a lot of ground in Guildford this past year by being extremely selfish with her time. She's not exactly a shining star in Cameron's little world, either. This Volunteers' Week initiative looks like a quick and easy win for her on both fronts... but will she take advantage of it?

And, if she does take part, will she choose to volunteer somewhere local... or perhaps somewhere in our little constituency?

(Here's an idea, Anne: you can donate some free time to one of our local hospitals and remind everyone that you're a nurse. Again. Oh, but do be careful not to push anyone around, Princess.)

New design

I've rustled up a snazzy new blog design to celebrate Amme's ~~first~~ fist full year in office. Please note that - as part of the recent changes - the XML feed has been relocated. Cheers all.

UPDATE - Psst! Amme's working on a new website, too. Oh, and it's been 'in development' for at least 9 months now. I tripped over it way back in August of last year and the message was the same then as it is now; 'client adding content'.

What *does* she do all day?

Anne's mysterious absences

Surrey Ad - Brickworks plan rejected: Plans to build 170 homes on the contaminated Cranleigh Brick & Tile Works site have been thrown out. On Wednesday, Waverley Borough Council’s joint planning management committee made the decision, by an overwhelming majority, after nearly seven hours of presentations, questions and debate, which were spread over two meetings... It was clear they were unconvinced that the enabling housing development was the only option for resolving the pollution issue. Earlier, former Guildford MP Sue Doughty, speaking on behalf of the Cranleigh Brickworks Action Group (C-BAG), referred to a letter from housing minister, Yvette Cooper, which pointed out that while building on brownfield sites was desirable, Government policies "do not give an open invitation to new development, whatever it is and wherever it is".

There's another article in the Cranleigh edition that didn't make it online ('Campaigners' joy at decision'), and I've included a partial scan of it above. You should be able to spot the amendment that I've made.

Regular readers of this blog may recall this entry from December...

They seek her here, they seek her there: On the evening of Dec 14 2005, a major local action group (CBAG) held a large public meeting and invited Anne as the MP. She declined, opting to send her researcher (not a Tory councillor, but her researcher). Former MP Sue Doughty was invited instead. The meeting and its outcome was deemed worthy of a front page article in the local newspaper. Nothing in the record at Hansard suggests that Parliamentary matters kept Amme away on this date, and the House closed fairly early that day.

Anne Milton didn't turn up to this most recent (and most crucial) meeting, either... so it surprised no-one when C-BAG chose our former MP Sue Doughty as their spokesperson, "giving (their) profile a huge increase in focus, national context and gravitas."

This single voluntary action by non-partisan action group cannot have escaped the attention of local Tories... and neither can the wider pattern of neglect and ineptitude.

Today, I wanted to post a round-up of the year that has passed since Amme became our MP, but - in an effort to be fair - I'll give the shouty crowd (i.e. the two Tory activists that pose as dozens of 'independent' supporters) an opportunity to answer an important question first...

Again, Anne Milton has seen fit to dodge another crucial local meeting, and again, there is no record of urgent Parliamentary matters that would justify her absence.

On the afternoon of May 10th, the day of the C-BAG meeting, there were three Divisions in the Commons on the Police and Justice Bill). Many Tory MPs voted. So many, in fact, that one can reasonably suspect that - at the very least - a two-line whip applied to these Divisions. But Anne didn't vote in any of them.

Now, Anne could have excused herself from the C-BAG meeting using the whip/vote as an excuse, but didn't.

Given her narrow margin, she could even have excused herself from the whip/vote using a Major Constituency Engagement as an excuse... but didn't.

She could even have managed to vote *and* make it back to Cranleigh in time for the meeting, but that would be silly. After all, she then would have to drive all the way home to Reigate afterwards, and that can really tucker a girl out.

Anne Milton had a number of options open to her, but instead chose to dodge both these obligations.

OK, ~~Milton supporters~~ Dennis and Mike... are you ready for your question? Here it comes...

Where was she? What WAS she doing?

(Hell, I know the new Foreign Secretary isn't quite up to scratch, but I'm reasonably certain that Amme wasn't unexpectedly called away on a mercy mission to Afghanistan.)

UPDATE (19th May): Not a word in Amme's defence, then? Tch.

What model car does Anne Milton drive?

The latest issue of the Surrey Advertiser reports that David Cameron rolled into town this week "to test-drive an array of eco-friendly cars" at Dunsfold Park.

It also informs us that MPs Jeremy Hunt and Anne Milton were rather shy about what they drive... they both chose to hide their cars behind an aircraft hangar!

Jeremy - to his credit - reacted to that hot feeling on the back of his neck and made a pledge to upgrade to a hybrid alternative.

Anne had no such feeling (insert 'cold-blooded reptile' joke here) and made no such pledge... and instead chose to dodge the issue. (Surprise, surprise, surprise!)

So... given that Amme has to drive all the way from Reigate (on those days when she can be bothered to turn up in Guildford at all) I think that the electorate has a right to know what model car she drives... don't you?

PS - I really must include this picture from the event. It speaks for itself...

UPDATE - Independent - Cameron's image as green leader goes up in smoke: David Cameron's campaign for the green vote suffered a setback when it emerged that he is followed by his official car when he cycles to work. Mr Cameron has been regularly photographed cycling the five miles from his west London home to Westminster. In fact, he is often followed by his Lexus car, whose driver picks up shoes, clothes and documents the Tory leader cannot carry on his bike.

Will Super-Nurse attend?

There now follows a short cross-party announcement:

At 14.30 the PCT will meet at the Millmead Baptist Centre (map) to recommend that community beds are reduced, and that Cranleigh and Milford close. It is thought probable that at a later stage we will lose Haselmere hospital too. Cranleigh and Milford hospitals perform differing functions with Cranleigh serving mainly the area around it providing good bed care which is better provided away from the Royal Surrey County Hospital (RSCH). Milford hospital has provided rehabilitation care across the Guildford and Waverley area and is used by Guildford people. The decision is devastating for the groups who have been supporting these hospitals and calls into question the groundbreaking plans for a new Cranleigh Hospital and Health Centre which would have been a joint NHS/Private facility using non PFI funding, and underpinned by a major donation of land for the hospital and lots of local fundraising. It is possible that the hospitals could be closed within a week of the decision.

This is a good photo opportunity and we are expecting substantial media attention on the meeting. We will also be listening to the deliberations of the PCT board. We will not be allowed to ask questions at this meeting. If at all possible please come as if for a funeral. Many of us will be wearing black and sitting at the back of the Baptist Church.

UPDATE - She turned up. Late.

Harried

I wish to formally distance myself from the suggestion that Anne Milton resembles Julian Clary (especially now that the two have met and Julian has wisely decided to run very fast in the opposite direction).

Truth be told, Anne Milton bears a much closer resemblance to Lauren Harries.

OK, I know what you're thinking; first I compare her to a transvestite, now a transsexual... but just take a look for yourselves before you scream the word 'homophobe':

Guildford needs a nurse like a numbat needs nits

Surrey Advertiser - Hospital beds set to close: There was bad news for Cranleigh this week when it was revealed that local health chiefs are pushing for the closure of the village hospital’s beds... Guildford MP Anne Milton said she was deeply upset by the news, adding: “The community is having to take the pain of years of mismanagement within the PCT.” The PCT has hailed the response to its consultation – almost 24,000 contributions – as a success but Mrs Milton said: “Whatever people said, it wasn’t going to make any difference to what the PCT did.” She has again written to Health Secretary, Patricia Hewitt, but doubted the PCT was likely to change its stance. Former MP, Sue Doughty, labelled the proposal “outrageous”, adding: “It completely flies in the face of the Government’s own proposals, and combined with the proposals to close A&E at the Royal Surrey means that Cranleigh people will be completely isolated in terms of hospital based health care.”

How nice it is to see our former MP (who may stand again) defiant in the face of reckless stupidity while the alligator-skin luggage we've been lumbered with publicly admits defeat. I don't know exactly what Milton used to do as a nurse, but I pray to God they didn't put her in charge of resuscitation.... because Milton also appears on page 3 of the Surrey Ad, and again throws her hands in the air with a defeatist line on public consultation... this time over the possible closure of the A&E department of the Royal Surrey County Hospital!

We don't pay her to be angry, upset or passionate... we pay her to take action. FFS, this is supposed to be the one area where her strengths lie, but she's turning out to be as useless as tits on a bull on all fronts. (Though I suppose we should be thankful that she has at least got her hands on a clever researcher. Amme now manages to avoid major embarrassments in Westminster when she's not required to think on her feet.)

Of course, Amme now finds it much harder to get things done after close to 12 months of treating local groups and organisations like something she found on the bottom of her shoe (she turned up at my kids' school the other week and this pattern continued when she stayed long enough to have her picture taken and then took off).

You'd think that a woman who began with no real support network (1, 2, 3, 4) would work to build an actual one upon getting the job, but not our Amme.

No, she prefers to ~~slug it out~~ take a dive alone.

Search for the hero inside... erm, myself

Anne Milton MP launches search for local heroes: Anne Milton MP is urging Guildford residents to nominate their community's local heroes for recognition through the Nationwide Awards for Voluntary Endeavour... Anne Milton MP said: "These awards recognise and reward the 'local heroes' in our community whose voluntary of community activity has made a real difference to peoples' lives. Those who give up their free time to help others rarely ask for recognition but I believe they deserve it. This is your chance to nominate someone who you believe deserves and award and make sure their work is recognised. The closing date for nominations is the 28th April 2006."

Well, there you have it... you have 8 days left to nominate little old me.

;o)

Click here to do so.

We begin with a familiar feeling...

Independent - How the BNP is gaining ground in Barking with a campaign of lies and distortions:

Rose Thomson has lived happily next to the Longbridge Road campus buildings for 30 years. But now she wants to move. She said: "The asylum-seekers are coming. They're taking over. It's not British here any more."

Mrs Thomson, 67, echoed many who live near the complex outside Barking town centre who believe the site, now occupied by the University of East London, will soon be turned into housing for refugees.

It is not true. The campus is earmarked for a regeneration project that includes low-rent housing. But that has not stopped it being circulated on doorsteps on behalf of the British National Party as it tries to polarise opinion and win backing among the 165,000 voters in this docile and traditionally Labour-dominated corner of east London in next month's local elections.

The result is a game of political smoke and mirrors with the far-right party using shady tactics, including the apparent use of unoccupied addresses as candidates' homes, and questionable statistics to boost its support...

Well, how about that, then? It would appear that the BNP uses exactly the same tactics that our dear friend Anne Milton used to earn her 347-strong majority.

I'm tempted to stick to this point, but first I must turn my attention to the news.... erm, because there hasn't been any.

Last week the Queen dropped by to visit Guildford. She distributed the Maundy Money at a service in Guildford Cathedral. Then she went on a walkabout in the High Street. Before stopping for lunch at the Guildhall. Basically, she was in town for a while and she rubbed more than one elbow.

Did Amme get her picture in the local paper as a result of this visit? No.
Did Amme get *mentioned* in the local paper as a result of this visit? No.
Did Amme manage to get snapped with the Queen at all? No.
(Note - Even Dennis Paul failed to get a shot off!)

Ooooh, that's gotta hurt. Especially for a born attention-seeker like Anne Milton.

I must admit that when I first read about the visit I had to do some checking to make sure that she turned up in the first place... and perhaps - just perhaps - her failure to turn up to a string of local events (and/or staying for more than two minutes while feigning graciousness) played a role in this under-reporting. I'm not suggesting that it was malicious, only that reporters may have failed to recognise her, having not seen her around for a while.

No matter... with such a slim majority, a distinctly lacklustre first year and recent boundary changes to the constituency, Milton must know by now that her future does not lie with Guildford (if she ever thought of us as something other than a stepping-stone in the first place).

No, Anne's future lies with a career in the Conservatives and...

Sorry, what's that? She's in the what now...?

Guardian - The little blue book: Shortly after "Dave the Chameleon" makes his first appearance on TV tonight, Dave's shadow chancellor will be launching a thinktank pamphlet. These days, George Osborne doesn't turn up to any old Westminster launch. But then Conservative Revival: Blueprint for a Better Britain isn't any old thinktank rant. David Cameron pouts earnestly from the cover of the 170-page handbook, which, in style and content, is the closest the Cameroons have come to a brand manifesto.... The contributing authors were to have included the MPs Justine Greening and Anne Milton. In the end, Philp looked to a younger generation of Tories: Dominic Schofield, Nicky Morgan, Sarah Richardson, Martin McElwee, Robert Halfon and Damian Collins, all of whom failed to gain seats in 2005.

Aw, no... now the Tories won't let poor Anne join in any reindeer games.

I've got two words for you, folks: Old and Busted.

Yes, Anne Milton has been cast aside for the New Hotness... even though all of these alternative candidates failed to lie their way into a seat as Milton has done.

Taking all of these factors into account, and combining it with Anne Milton's flat-out refusal to live anywhere but Tierra del Fuego, I feel compelled to offer Anne the following career advice:

Join the BNP and run in Reigate. You'll feel right at home.

Craig Murray to appear at UniS

For the UniS lurkers (courtesy of Paul):

Today, 15 th of March, Craig Murray, MP and former UK ambassador to Uzbekistan will be visiting UniS and delivering a speech for students, organized by Stop The War Coalition of UniS, at 6:30 PM in TB22.

Craig Murray was sacked from his position as UK ambassador to Uzbekistan after criticizing the human rights abuses of Uzbek dictator I.Karimov, then US and UK's ally in the War against Terror. Craig has continued to expose UK involvement supporting the Uzbek regime and collusion in torture.

You can learn more about Craig by clicking here.

A straight question

What - if anything - is our MP doing to protect us from the Legislative and Regulatory Reform Bill?

Afghanistan needs a nurse!

Anne Milton has asked some interesting questions in Parliament in the past, but this one is a cracker:

Anne Milton (Guildford, Con) - "Is the Secretary of State satisfied that there are enough troops in Afghanistan, bearing in mind the lessons from Iraq that ground troops are essential in order to complete missions adequately?"

Good heavens! She'll be planning military operations next, or maybe even suiting up for action.

How long do you think it will be before the maps have to be updated?