Anne Milton - Guildford MP (and Dipstick)

28 Days Later (aka The Walking Dead)

Tim — Wed, 21 Jun 2006 11:51:00 +0000

It's been nearly a month since this blog highlighted this serious conflict of interest. I've been a little busy lately, but the time has finally come for me to check in and let you know what has happened since... and what has not.

(Note - It may seem a bit piecemeal in places, but a big pile of documents beckons, so I've no time for neatness.)

- Most recently, and probably most importantly for a lot of people in the Godalming area, Anne Milton has turned out to be predictably ineffective in the debate over the proposed excavation of Eashing Farm for millions of tonnes of sand and valuable Bargate Stone. She's trying to make the right noises, bless her, but the fact remains that she isn't the bold boat-rocker her supporters make her out to be, and she really can't afford to go head to head with her Conservative councillor colleagues on Guildford Borough Council or Surrey County Council. Especially not after pissing away her first year in such grand style.

- Still, Anne has recently tried to undo some of the damage by Keeping very Busy Indeed before bunking off on holiday. A recent flurry of parliamentary activity is evident, and Anne even took the time to invite herself to the 2006 Bramley Village Fete.

(At the fete, she actually stayed for longer than 15 minutes, and judged the costume parade and the cake competition. She also managed to make her way around every single stall... bar the one I was working on, of course. Oh, and she doesn't know it yet, but she owes me one. Water pistols were a popular item at this particular fete, and she came *this* close to a coordinated soaking. It was me that talked the young folk out of it. Not that I'm Down With The Kids or anything... it's just that I know exactly when to employ the ever-persistent myth that Anne Milton eats children.)

- Onto other photo opportunities... you may recall that a reported resemblance to comedian Julian Clary has been milked by Milton in the past. It even led to a meeting between the two late last year. But this report of their most recent meeting appears to suggest a wary/weary tolerance on Julian's part...

New Statesman - Julian's week: Later I arrived at a bookshop in Guildford to do what is called a "literary event". Because my autobiography has come out in paperback I am obliged to turn up and talk about myself for an hour. Waiting outside were the local press and the Tory MP Anne Milton, puckering up for a photo opportunity. (Identified as lookie-likies in Punch magazine, we go way back.) Coming over all showbizzy, I rather forgot my position as Kate Moss's lover and gave her a kiss on the cheek. Of course, the flashbulbs went off and our innocent clench was captured.

- Back onto conflict-of-interest reactions... I always know when I score a palpable hit, because ardent supporters of Anne Milton (like Dennis Paul and Mike Chambers) always follow up by going more than a little apeshit. Now an anonymous attack site has emerged that (once again) tries to convince people that I'm in the employ of Sue Doughty. It also seeks to interfere with my ongoing income.

So, just to summarise...

1. They're out to prove that I've launched a personal attack with an unspoken political agenda by launching a personal attack with an unspoken political agenda.

2. They state that I work for Sue Doughty while - at the same time - they seek to harass me at what they clearly regard to be my actual place of work.

Sheer genius.

- Tripping back to this link for no reason in particular, I seek to remind Dennis Paul and Mike Chambers that voters probably won't trust them with council budgets if they have a proven history of misusing time and equipment paid for by the taxpayer.

- Housekeeping: On 27 May 2006, Sue Doughty was re-selected as prospective parliamentary candidate for Guildford. The navigation bar has been updated to include a link to her campaign website. I've also added a link to the Wikipedia entry for the constituency of Guildford, but will not be adding the Wikipedia entry for Anne Milton just yet, because it contains much silliness at the moment. (Not guilty. Cross my heart and hope to die, stick a needle in my eye.)

- Opinion: On 27 May 2006, Sue Doughty was re-selected as prospective parliamentary candidate for Guildford. That means that she and her imperfect, inadequate and totally inept carbon copy will be going head to head. Again. Unless Milton gets de-selected, of course. The local Lib-Dems may not appreciate my pointing out the obvious, but here goes... A lot of time, money and effort went into passing Milton off as a Tory clone of Doughty, and - even with the magic of potential on her side - she only scraped by with a 347-vote margin. Now that the cold, hard reality has sunk in, do you really think she can pull it off again? Before you answer that, consider that even if Milton makes a concerted effort to lift her game in the coming months/years, she's hamstrung by a dearth of goodwill. This, combined with the impact of recent boundary changes... well, it doesn't take a genius to work out that the Conservatives will need to field a much stronger candidate next time around. Given the farce of the past election, track record is going to be a key issue... so a quiet word in Nick St Aubyn's ear is probably called for.

- Finally, we come to the bit that hasn't happened; almost a month has passed since Anne's major conflict of interest was made public, and she still hasn't updated her Register of Members' Interests. Is she really hoping to sweep this under the carpet?

A clear conflict of interest

Tim — Wed, 24 May 2006 08:27:00 +0000

The most recent edition of the Surrey Advertiser reports the following:

A major shake-up of the health service across the South East has been agreed which will see services such as GP surgeries delivered by one organisation in Surrey... the number of primary care trusts (PCTs) - the organisations which run GP surgeries, community hospitals and commission care from acute hospitals - will be reduced nationally from 303 to 152. Five PCTs in Surrey - North Surrey, East Surrey, Surrey Heath & Woking, Guildford & Waverly and East Elmbridge & Mid Surrey- will amalgamate to form one county-wide trust.

OK, we're talking health here, so Anne "I'm a nurse!" Milton clearly has the inside track... and certainly must know something we don't when she makes a rare out-of-step move like this:

Leader of Conservative run Surrey County Council Nick Skellett has welcomed the creation of one PCT.... However, Guildford's Tory MP Anne Milton has dubbed the changes to PCTs as "disruptive, destabilising and making patient care suffer".

Disruptive, destabilising... and making patient health care suffer. I suspect there's a reason that Amme's objections are prioritised in this way, and that the reason is hidden in the following list:

Saroj Auplish - Director of Public Health, North Surrey PCT
Graham Henderson - Director of Public Health, East Surrey PCT
Judi Linney - Director of Public Health, Surrey Heath & Woking PCT
Ruth Milton - Director of Public Health, Guildford & Waverly PCT
Jonathan Hildebrand - Director of Public Health, East Elmbridge & Mid Surrey PCT

(I bet you're looking at the name 'Ruth Milton' right now and screaming; "Gotcha!". Heh. Sorry to tease... but we're not there yet. Ruth Milton is not related to Anne Milton. At all.)

When the five PCTs amalgamate to form one county-wide trust, you can be sure that they will not be needing five Directors of Public Health.

Also, the new Director of Public Health - whoever that may turn out to be - is most likely to be based at Woking. (Out of all the current PCT offices, Woking has the most office space and the best communications; it's not centrally-located, but it's sure to be any bean-counter's primary choice.)

This is sure to worry one Director of Public Health in particular... Dr Graham Henderson.

Dr Graham Henderson is one of the few regional Directors without a secondary role to fall back on (many of the people on this list have a dual role such as 'Director of Public Health and Medical Director') and even if he is awarded the new central position of Director of Public Health for Surrey, Dr Henderson's commute will switch from Reigate to Earlswood (about 2 miles) to Reigate to Woking (about 20 miles).

As it turns out, Dr Graham Henderson's wife already has to drive approximately 20 miles to her office and/or the occasional event... in Guildford.

Yes, folks... we're finally there:

Dr Graham Henderson, Director of Public Health for the East Surrey PCT, is the husband of Anne Milton, Guildford MP.

(Sidebar: Currently, the only online record that exists that shows that these two people are connected by marriage is on this weblog. Please leave any tips in the jar.)

Now, why do you think Anne Milton would disagree with her Conservative colleague so boldly by describing the upcoming changes to PCTs as "disruptive, destabilising and making patient care suffer"....?

Could it be because of a clear conflict of interest?

Anne herself must surely recognise this. Why else would she declare a nameless husband on an unnamed trust to the House during this debate?

Sadly, that's as far as Anne's transparency goes. Her husband's role and its possible impact on her participation in any debate on the subject of Surrey-based PCTs is not listed in her Register of Members' Interests and - while the relevant letter is not included in the report - there appears to be no record of her making any such declaration when she recently gave evidence to the Surrey Health Scrutiny Committee (PDF).

When in comes to any comment or consultation on upcoming changes to primary care trusts, Anne Milton should keep her mouth shut... and if she can't keep her mouth shut, then the first words that dribble from her lips should be "While my husband's future income and convenience depends greatly on maintaining the status quo, I do feel that I should say this..."

That way, when she describes the impending PCT changes as "disruptive, destabilising and making patient care suffer", people will know that she means disruptive for her husband and destabilising to her routine... and that any mention of patient care is a mere afterthought.

Independent Observer #1

Tim — Tue, 19 Apr 2005 18:18:00 +0000

As I blogged this afternoon, today I popped along to the University of Surrey at the last minute, as I'd heard there were going to be some Miltonites trying to hijack/disrupt an appearance by Charles Kennedy.

I must say, I was greatly disappointed.

Here's our crew of young Tories, ignoring the first two rules of Activist Infiltration, which are as follows:

Activist Infiltration Rule #1 - Don't *be* a crowd, *join* the crowd.

Activist Infiltration Rule #2 – At least *try* to look like you belong.

If they'd spent a little more time with soap dodgers, they would know this. But they haven't done, didn't know, and were pegged from the start as a result.

So when it started raining and everybody else took shelter, they weren't able to use this as an excuse to join the group, mingle and make connections (which would have been pretty hard with the large signs they were carrying, anyway). Here they are getting moved on from a nearby bus shelter by a mean security guard.

Activist Infiltration Rule #3 - When *asked* if you belong, be ready with an immediate (and disarmingly naive) answer in the affirmative.

Activist Infiltration Rule #4 - Always have a detailed story in reserve, and only offer the full version if asked.

FFS, they didn't even claim to be waiting for a bus... so they had to go and stand in the rain, the poor dears.

Still, eventually the sun came out and they adorned themselves with their Fear of Crime message (which I just happened to blog about earlier today). That wasn't the only element of synchronicity today, BTW; Charles Kennedy's appearance here focused on the role of nurses in battling MRSA, but let's get back to that bit where voting for the local Lib-Dem will result in you being murdered in your bed...

Here's a lovely variation of the poster the Miltonites were carrying. Their posters read "A vote for your local Lib-Dem is a vote for this":

Note how the shadow from Kennedy's nose makes him look like Hitler (as spotted by Mark and provided here by Stuff and Nonsense). Clever stuff, huh? Beats all hell out of evil eyes. If you can swing a good resemblance to Hitler and make it subliminal, you've got it made.

Anyway, ~~Adolf Hilter~~ Charles Kennedy finally arrived about an hour late (insert predictable joke about stopping at the offy here). Here's a picture of the main Battle Bus in front of the distinctive Duke of Kent Building:

Before he arrived, I got a chance to meet with many of the Sue Doughty supporters (who outnumbered the Miltonites easily by 12 to 1), and even some of her team members. Unsurprisingly, quite a few of them are fans of this weblog.

(waves 'hello' to Lib-Dem peeps)

We had a nice chat about this and that. One of them was even kind enough to lead me to an interwebbbed computer so I could make the earlier 'live' entry.

Now, if the Miltonites had obeyed Rules 1 through 4, they would have been able to do exactly the same thing. All that's required is a sound knowledge of Liberal thinking and some self control. A *poor* example follows:

"So, what are your views on immigration?"
"Well, I think diversity is an important part of any community and I would like to grind the foreign devils' bones into dust!"

Do this, and you *may* just blow your cover.

Sound knowledge. Self Control. Got it?

As it turned out, they got their picture taken by a few people who could be bothered to cross the road, but they were nowhere near the action.

Ooh, look! Here's Charles Kennedy, emerging from the Battle Bus to be greeted by our own Sue Doughty (who I also had the pleasure of meeting briefly).

Now here's the cool bit... I waltzed right in following the press troupe and looked busy (see Rule #2). *This* is where a determined activist should have been. On the spot in a crowded room with all cameras watching, ready with a fold-out poster and/or a difficult question. Getting dragged out of the room as you shout incoherently is always a good back-up plan, just in case the right opportunity fails to present itself.

Now, I was there primarily to watch out for just such a thing, so I could blog it. Having people in the crowd who 'knew' me helped... but the opportunity was there for the taking for anyone with a little knowledge, initiative and/or guts.

Did the Miltonites get this close? No, they did not. Because they suck.

(pokes tongue out at Miltonites)

It may have something to do with needing fewer brain cells to swallow Anne Milton's constant stream of drivel, but I've yet to get professional and independent confirmation of that.

Yes, I did get to shake Charles Kennedy by the hand... and I must say the man looks bloody healthy for someone with a new baby. And he walked out of the building *still* looking healthy (and in a surprisingly upright position).

Want to know why?

Because there was no grand legion of superbugs hiding in the beds and no tidal wave of foreigners/murderers hiding under them.

I'm sure that comes as a great relief to you.

(Oh, while we're all here, I'd like to introduce you to a Tory who doesn't believe in dirty tricks. He won't let those bullies win, nosiree!)

I hear that Michael Howard is coming to town shortly. If Anne agrees, I'm happy to attend this event as an observer also. I'll let you know how I get on.

Will Anne play ball during Volunteers' Week?

Tim — Fri, 19 May 2006 07:58:00 +0000

Pandora: First he hopped on his bike and bought a "green" car, then a team of huskies dragged him across the Arctic circle. Now David Cameron is getting ready to perform the third great PR stunt of his reign. In a bid to publicise his new brand of caring Conservatism, the Tory leader has instructed all of his 197 MPs to spend their spring break working for local "good causes". A confidential letter sent by the leader's office on Tuesday commands his MPs to spend the second half of their forthcoming parliamentary recess helping out with national Volunteers' Week. "What I would like you to do is either visit, or volunteer to work with, an appropriate local organisation as close to that week as you can," it reads. "If you could let your whip know what you are planning to do, we will compile the information to make clear how we are supporting the week." The letter, seen by Pandora yesterday, has met with a mixed response from the Tory rank and file. Although Cameron's stock is high following the local elections, MPs on the right of his party are upset at being told how to spend their free time. "We've got a two-week recess, which starts next Friday," says one. "Most of us have booked family holidays and aren't about to cancel them to work in the local Oxfam or whatever left-wing charities Dave wants us to support so he can get a few cheap headlines."

(Oh dear. Are *all* of the dissenters right-wing? Are *all* charities left-wing?)

Anne has lost a lot of ground in Guildford this past year by being extremely selfish with her time. She's not exactly a shining star in Cameron's little world, either. This Volunteers' Week initiative looks like a quick and easy win for her on both fronts... but will she take advantage of it?

And, if she does take part, will she choose to volunteer somewhere local... or perhaps somewhere in our little constituency?

(Here's an idea, Anne: you can donate some free time to one of our local hospitals and remind everyone that you're a nurse. Again. Oh, but do be careful not to push anyone around, Princess.)

New design

Tim — Fri, 12 May 2006 11:20:00 +0000

I've rustled up a snazzy new blog design to celebrate Amme's ~~first~~ fist full year in office. Please note that - as part of the recent changes - the XML feed has been relocated. Cheers all.

UPDATE - Psst! Amme's working on a new website, too. Oh, and it's been 'in development' for at least 9 months now. I tripped over it way back in August of last year and the message was the same then as it is now; 'client adding content'.

What *does* she do all day?

Anne's mysterious absences

Tim — Fri, 12 May 2006 11:13:00 +0000

Surrey Ad - Brickworks plan rejected: Plans to build 170 homes on the contaminated Cranleigh Brick & Tile Works site have been thrown out. On Wednesday, Waverley Borough Council’s joint planning management committee made the decision, by an overwhelming majority, after nearly seven hours of presentations, questions and debate, which were spread over two meetings... It was clear they were unconvinced that the enabling housing development was the only option for resolving the pollution issue. Earlier, former Guildford MP Sue Doughty, speaking on behalf of the Cranleigh Brickworks Action Group (C-BAG), referred to a letter from housing minister, Yvette Cooper, which pointed out that while building on brownfield sites was desirable, Government policies "do not give an open invitation to new development, whatever it is and wherever it is".

There's another article in the Cranleigh edition that didn't make it online ('Campaigners' joy at decision'), and I've included a partial scan of it above. You should be able to spot the amendment that I've made.

Regular readers of this blog may recall this entry from December...

They seek her here, they seek her there: On the evening of Dec 14 2005, a major local action group (CBAG) held a large public meeting and invited Anne as the MP. She declined, opting to send her researcher (not a Tory councillor, but her researcher). Former MP Sue Doughty was invited instead. The meeting and its outcome was deemed worthy of a front page article in the local newspaper. Nothing in the record at Hansard suggests that Parliamentary matters kept Amme away on this date, and the House closed fairly early that day.

Anne Milton didn't turn up to this most recent (and most crucial) meeting, either... so it surprised no-one when C-BAG chose our former MP Sue Doughty as their spokesperson, "giving (their) profile a huge increase in focus, national context and gravitas."

This single voluntary action by non-partisan action group cannot have escaped the attention of local Tories... and neither can the wider pattern of neglect and ineptitude.

Today, I wanted to post a round-up of the year that has passed since Amme became our MP, but - in an effort to be fair - I'll give the shouty crowd (i.e. the two Tory activists that pose as dozens of 'independent' supporters) an opportunity to answer an important question first...

Again, Anne Milton has seen fit to dodge another crucial local meeting, and again, there is no record of urgent Parliamentary matters that would justify her absence.

On the afternoon of May 10th, the day of the C-BAG meeting, there were three Divisions in the Commons on the Police and Justice Bill). Many Tory MPs voted. So many, in fact, that one can reasonably suspect that - at the very least - a two-line whip applied to these Divisions. But Anne didn't vote in any of them.

Now, Anne could have excused herself from the C-BAG meeting using the whip/vote as an excuse, but didn't.

Given her narrow margin, she could even have excused herself from the whip/vote using a Major Constituency Engagement as an excuse... but didn't.

She could even have managed to vote *and* make it back to Cranleigh in time for the meeting, but that would be silly. After all, she then would have to drive all the way home to Reigate afterwards, and that can really tucker a girl out.

Anne Milton had a number of options open to her, but instead chose to dodge both these obligations.

OK, ~~Milton supporters~~ Dennis and Mike... are you ready for your question? Here it comes...

Where was she? What WAS she doing?

(Hell, I know the new Foreign Secretary isn't quite up to scratch, but I'm reasonably certain that Amme wasn't unexpectedly called away on a mercy mission to Afghanistan.)

UPDATE (19th May): Not a word in Amme's defence, then? Tch.

What model car does Anne Milton drive?

Tim — Fri, 28 Apr 2006 17:58:00 +0000

The latest issue of the Surrey Advertiser reports that David Cameron rolled into town this week "to test-drive an array of eco-friendly cars" at Dunsfold Park.

It also informs us that MPs Jeremy Hunt and Anne Milton were rather shy about what they drive... they both chose to hide their cars behind an aircraft hangar!

Jeremy - to his credit - reacted to that hot feeling on the back of his neck and made a pledge to upgrade to a hybrid alternative.

Anne had no such feeling (insert 'cold-blooded reptile' joke here) and made no such pledge... and instead chose to dodge the issue. (Surprise, surprise, surprise!)

So... given that Amme has to drive all the way from Reigate (on those days when she can be bothered to turn up in Guildford at all) I think that the electorate has a right to know what model car she drives... don't you?

PS - I really must include this picture from the event. It speaks for itself...

UPDATE - Independent - Cameron's image as green leader goes up in smoke: David Cameron's campaign for the green vote suffered a setback when it emerged that he is followed by his official car when he cycles to work. Mr Cameron has been regularly photographed cycling the five miles from his west London home to Westminster. In fact, he is often followed by his Lexus car, whose driver picks up shoes, clothes and documents the Tory leader cannot carry on his bike.

Will Super-Nurse attend?

Tim — Thu, 27 Apr 2006 09:17:00 +0000

There now follows a short cross-party announcement:

At 14.30 the PCT will meet at the Millmead Baptist Centre (map) to recommend that community beds are reduced, and that Cranleigh and Milford close. It is thought probable that at a later stage we will lose Haselmere hospital too. Cranleigh and Milford hospitals perform differing functions with Cranleigh serving mainly the area around it providing good bed care which is better provided away from the Royal Surrey County Hospital (RSCH). Milford hospital has provided rehabilitation care across the Guildford and Waverley area and is used by Guildford people. The decision is devastating for the groups who have been supporting these hospitals and calls into question the groundbreaking plans for a new Cranleigh Hospital and Health Centre which would have been a joint NHS/Private facility using non PFI funding, and underpinned by a major donation of land for the hospital and lots of local fundraising. It is possible that the hospitals could be closed within a week of the decision.

This is a good photo opportunity and we are expecting substantial media attention on the meeting. We will also be listening to the deliberations of the PCT board. We will not be allowed to ask questions at this meeting. If at all possible please come as if for a funeral. Many of us will be wearing black and sitting at the back of the Baptist Church.

UPDATE - She turned up. Late.

Harried

Tim — Fri, 21 Apr 2006 12:44:00 +0000

I wish to formally distance myself from the suggestion that Anne Milton resembles Julian Clary (especially now that the two have met and Julian has wisely decided to run very fast in the opposite direction).

Truth be told, Anne Milton bears a much closer resemblance to Lauren Harries.

OK, I know what you're thinking; first I compare her to a transvestite, now a transsexual... but just take a look for yourselves before you scream the word 'homophobe':

Anne Milton's latest pamphlet

Tim — Wed, 16 Mar 2005 11:15:00 +0000

There was something that caught my eye on the latest Anne Milton pamphlet to drop through my door. It all began with the back page featuring real-genuine-on-the-spot-people-on-the-street giving their opinions and showing that Anne Milton is the talk of the town and beloved by all. But the subject of one of these vox-pops also appears on the front page in a group shot of local Tory councillors.

They may very well have collared an ordinary member of the public on the street for a vox-pop and then coaxed her into the group shot. I admit that this is possible. But it was enough to make me curious about some other faces on the back page.

I began with 'Mike', who says: "Fun, enthusiastic and a real fighter for young and old. Anne's a winner."

The only problem is that 'Mike' bears an uncanny resemblance to Mike Chambers, who describes himself here as "Chairman of The Conservative Society" (for the University of Surrey, presumably) and a "Tory party activist"...

This isn't the only discussion board that Mike Chambers has been active on, BTW. Here's Mike Chambers singing the praises of Anne Milton and here he is slagging off Lib-Dem MP Sue Doughty.

Here he is getting a plug on the Guildford Conservatives website, and here he is again on a decision to "establish a Guildford branch of Conservative Future – the wing of the Conservative party for 18-30s" (this same page also announces an exciting future event - Comedy Night with Jim Davidson!)

The photo above was sourced from this photo gallery at the University of Surrey Conservative Society website, where you can see Mike Chambers meeting Anne Milton and meeting Jeffrey Archer.

If the two Mikes are one and the same, then:

1. Yes, he's local
2. Yes, he's welcome to his opinion
but...
3. He's hardly your typical man on the street, now is he?

So, that's one. Before I dig any deeper, let's begin with that and ask Anne Milton straight out...

To: anne AT annemilton DOT com
From: Tim Ireland

Dear Anne,

I've just received a copy of your latest pamphlet. On the back are some vox-pops that appear to be from ordinary members of the public, but 'Mike' looks an awful lot like Mike Chambers, who is a self-proclaimed Tory party activist and - as far as I can tell - Chairman of The Conservative Society for the University of Surrey.

1. Are the two Mikes one and the same person?
2. Who else on this back page is closely tied to a Conservative organisation and/or your campaign?

Before you answer by promising to investigate, please remember that you promised to investigate an unpleasant call I received recently, but failed to reveal or 'discover' that the call came from a Tory Party call centre.

Tim Ireland

UPDATE (2:00pm) - I emailed Mike Chambers about it, too. At his Learning & Skills Council email address. And since then, someone using this Learning & Skills Council IP address has visited this page and refreshed it quite a few times. Perhaps Mike is waiting to see if there's an answer from Anne. But an answer from him would do just as well. Mike, I know you're probably reading this... would you care to confirm or deny?

UPDATE (5:30pm) - Well, this pretty much nails it for me... I popped into the Univeristy of Surrey discussion board linked above and asked some regulars if this was the same Mike they knew and loved. There was some confusion at first, because the Mike in Anne Milton's pamphlet does look like Mike Chambers... only much younger. But I'm now convinced that it is him. The clincher (apart from the responses on this board and two private confirmations by email) was the response from 'maxski', who not only knows Mike, but is involved in some of his Tory activities. His response wasn't 'yes' or 'no', but "Haven't you got anything better to do???"

(BTW, my answer to that question is; "304 days, 17 hours, 44 minutes and 54 seconds"...)

UPDATE (7:00pm) - We now have confirmation direct from Anne Milton that it is Mike Chambers. Her position can easily be summed up as 'So what if it is?', as the pamphlet says "What do local people think about Anne Milton?" and being a Tory party activist does not stop someone from being a local person. Technically. I personally hold a different view. The pamphlet is designed to suggest that these are normal work-a-day people who have nice things to say about Anne as she is 'the talk of the town', when in reality, an unknown number of them are closely associated with her party and/or campaign. Anne has promised to get back to me with details of the other vox-pops. Updates to follow.

Guildford needs a nurse like a numbat needs nits

Tim — Fri, 21 Apr 2006 12:23:00 +0000

Surrey Advertiser - Hospital beds set to close: There was bad news for Cranleigh this week when it was revealed that local health chiefs are pushing for the closure of the village hospital’s beds... Guildford MP Anne Milton said she was deeply upset by the news, adding: “The community is having to take the pain of years of mismanagement within the PCT.” The PCT has hailed the response to its consultation – almost 24,000 contributions – as a success but Mrs Milton said: “Whatever people said, it wasn’t going to make any difference to what the PCT did.” She has again written to Health Secretary, Patricia Hewitt, but doubted the PCT was likely to change its stance. Former MP, Sue Doughty, labelled the proposal “outrageous”, adding: “It completely flies in the face of the Government’s own proposals, and combined with the proposals to close A&E at the Royal Surrey means that Cranleigh people will be completely isolated in terms of hospital based health care.”

How nice it is to see our former MP (who may stand again) defiant in the face of reckless stupidity while the alligator-skin luggage we've been lumbered with publicly admits defeat. I don't know exactly what Milton used to do as a nurse, but I pray to God they didn't put her in charge of resuscitation.... because Milton also appears on page 3 of the Surrey Ad, and again throws her hands in the air with a defeatist line on public consultation... this time over the possible closure of the A&E department of the Royal Surrey County Hospital!

We don't pay her to be angry, upset or passionate... we pay her to take action. FFS, this is supposed to be the one area where her strengths lie, but she's turning out to be as useless as tits on a bull on all fronts. (Though I suppose we should be thankful that she has at least got her hands on a clever researcher. Amme now manages to avoid major embarrassments in Westminster when she's not required to think on her feet.)

Of course, Amme now finds it much harder to get things done after close to 12 months of treating local groups and organisations like something she found on the bottom of her shoe (she turned up at my kids' school the other week and this pattern continued when she stayed long enough to have her picture taken and then took off).

You'd think that a woman who began with no real support network (1, 2, 3, 4) would work to build an actual one upon getting the job, but not our Amme.

No, she prefers to ~~slug it out~~ take a dive alone.

We begin with a familiar feeling...

Tim — Thu, 20 Apr 2006 08:37:00 +0000

Independent - How the BNP is gaining ground in Barking with a campaign of lies and distortions:

Rose Thomson has lived happily next to the Longbridge Road campus buildings for 30 years. But now she wants to move. She said: "The asylum-seekers are coming. They're taking over. It's not British here any more."

Mrs Thomson, 67, echoed many who live near the complex outside Barking town centre who believe the site, now occupied by the University of East London, will soon be turned into housing for refugees.

It is not true. The campus is earmarked for a regeneration project that includes low-rent housing. But that has not stopped it being circulated on doorsteps on behalf of the British National Party as it tries to polarise opinion and win backing among the 165,000 voters in this docile and traditionally Labour-dominated corner of east London in next month's local elections.

The result is a game of political smoke and mirrors with the far-right party using shady tactics, including the apparent use of unoccupied addresses as candidates' homes, and questionable statistics to boost its support...

Well, how about that, then? It would appear that the BNP uses exactly the same tactics that our dear friend Anne Milton used to earn her 347-strong majority.

I'm tempted to stick to this point, but first I must turn my attention to the news.... erm, because there hasn't been any.

Last week the Queen dropped by to visit Guildford. She distributed the Maundy Money at a service in Guildford Cathedral. Then she went on a walkabout in the High Street. Before stopping for lunch at the Guildhall. Basically, she was in town for a while and she rubbed more than one elbow.

Did Amme get her picture in the local paper as a result of this visit? No.
Did Amme get *mentioned* in the local paper as a result of this visit? No.
Did Amme manage to get snapped with the Queen at all? No.
(Note - Even Dennis Paul failed to get a shot off!)

Ooooh, that's gotta hurt. Especially for a born attention-seeker like Anne Milton.

I must admit that when I first read about the visit I had to do some checking to make sure that she turned up in the first place... and perhaps - just perhaps - her failure to turn up to a string of local events (and/or staying for more than two minutes while feigning graciousness) played a role in this under-reporting. I'm not suggesting that it was malicious, only that reporters may have failed to recognise her, having not seen her around for a while.

No matter... with such a slim majority, a distinctly lacklustre first year and recent boundary changes to the constituency, Milton must know by now that her future does not lie with Guildford (if she ever thought of us as something other than a stepping-stone in the first place).

No, Anne's future lies with a career in the Conservatives and...

Sorry, what's that? She's in the what now...?

Guardian - The little blue book: Shortly after "Dave the Chameleon" makes his first appearance on TV tonight, Dave's shadow chancellor will be launching a thinktank pamphlet. These days, George Osborne doesn't turn up to any old Westminster launch. But then Conservative Revival: Blueprint for a Better Britain isn't any old thinktank rant. David Cameron pouts earnestly from the cover of the 170-page handbook, which, in style and content, is the closest the Cameroons have come to a brand manifesto.... The contributing authors were to have included the MPs Justine Greening and Anne Milton. In the end, Philp looked to a younger generation of Tories: Dominic Schofield, Nicky Morgan, Sarah Richardson, Martin McElwee, Robert Halfon and Damian Collins, all of whom failed to gain seats in 2005.

Aw, no... now the Tories won't let poor Anne join in any reindeer games.

I've got two words for you, folks: Old and Busted.

Yes, Anne Milton has been cast aside for the New Hotness... even though all of these alternative candidates failed to lie their way into a seat as Milton has done.

Taking all of these factors into account, and combining it with Anne Milton's flat-out refusal to live anywhere but Tierra del Fuego, I feel compelled to offer Anne the following career advice:

Join the BNP and run in Reigate. You'll feel right at home.

Search for the hero inside... erm, myself

Tim — Thu, 20 Apr 2006 08:42:00 +0000

Anne Milton MP launches search for local heroes: Anne Milton MP is urging Guildford residents to nominate their community's local heroes for recognition through the Nationwide Awards for Voluntary Endeavour... Anne Milton MP said: "These awards recognise and reward the 'local heroes' in our community whose voluntary of community activity has made a real difference to peoples' lives. Those who give up their free time to help others rarely ask for recognition but I believe they deserve it. This is your chance to nominate someone who you believe deserves and award and make sure their work is recognised. The closing date for nominations is the 28th April 2006."

Well, there you have it... you have 8 days left to nominate little old me.

;o)

Click here to do so.

Craig Murray to appear at UniS

Tim — Wed, 15 Mar 2006 15:07:00 +0000

For the UniS lurkers (courtesy of Paul):

Today, 15 th of March, Craig Murray, MP and former UK ambassador to Uzbekistan will be visiting UniS and delivering a speech for students, organized by Stop The War Coalition of UniS, at 6:30 PM in TB22.

Craig Murray was sacked from his position as UK ambassador to Uzbekistan after criticizing the human rights abuses of Uzbek dictator I.Karimov, then US and UK's ally in the War against Terror. Craig has continued to expose UK involvement supporting the Uzbek regime and collusion in torture.

You can learn more about Craig by clicking here.

A straight question

Tim — Wed, 08 Mar 2006 10:27:00 +0000

What - if anything - is our MP doing to protect us from the Legislative and Regulatory Reform Bill?

Afghanistan needs a nurse!

Tim — Tue, 28 Feb 2006 11:23:00 +0000

Anne Milton has asked some interesting questions in Parliament in the past, but this one is a cracker:

Anne Milton (Guildford, Con) - "Is the Secretary of State satisfied that there are enough troops in Afghanistan, bearing in mind the lessons from Iraq that ground troops are essential in order to complete missions adequately?"

Good heavens! She'll be planning military operations next, or maybe even suiting up for action.

How long do you think it will be before the maps have to be updated?

They seek her here, they seek her there...

Tim — Wed, 04 Jan 2006 14:15:00 +0000

Anne Milton courted a number of interest groups and appeared at many, many public meetings and events before she was an MP... even when she wasn't invited.

Now she has secured herself a seat, she rarely turns up to such events... even when she *is* invited.

Here are just a few examples from recent months:

In October 2005, the University of Surrey Students' Newspaper 'Barefacts' reported that; Anne Milton, the recently elected Conservative MP for Guildford, chose to turn down the invitation by USSU to meet her student electorate at freshers' fayre on 21st September, despite the fact that parliament was in recess.

She did take the time to attend an informal Uni event a little over a month later, but not before Dennis Paul and Mike Chambers savaged the editor of that newspaper and made total arses of themselves in the process.

In November 2005, Anne did somehow find the time to attend the Remembrance Sunday service and procession in Guildford, but she put a few noses out of joint after spending roughly twelve nanoseconds at the reception that followed. Eyewitnesses described a 'whooshing' sound, leaving only a Milton-shaped cloud by the main exit.

On the evening of Dec 14 2005, a major local action group (CBAG) held a large public meeting and invited Anne as the MP. She declined, opting to send her researcher (not a Tory councillor, but her researcher). Former MP Sue Doughty was invited instead. The meeting and its outcome was deemed worthy of a front page article in the local newspaper. Nothing in the record at Hansard suggests that Parliamentary matters kept Amme away on this date, and the House closed fairly early that day.

Perhaps matters will improve when Anne moves to Guildford. You are committing to our little constituency and moving to Guildford, aren't you Anne?

Princess Pushy in Parliament

Tim — Wed, 06 Jul 2005 09:55:00 +0000

Here are two highlights from Anne Milton's recent participation in a debate on local taxation...

Highlight No. 1

Anne Milton:

I have a list of all the taxes favoured by Liberal Democrats, who love taxes because they think that they keep people in their place. They are: VAT on new homes, stealth inheritance tax, speed camera tax, rubbish tax, plastic bag tax, parking taxes to shop, parking taxes on business, land tax, income tax at a new regional rate and a new local rate, hotel taxes, 4x4 taxes. I could go on...

Phil Woolas (Minister of State, Office of the Deputy Prime Minister):

Keep going.

Anne Milton:

I could, but the fact remains...

Ahahahahahahaha! I'm sorry, but I've read this a number of times now, and it still amuses me.

Highlight No. 2

Anne Milton:

I have campaigned yearly on the council tax increases in Guildford. I even took to the streets and marched from one end of my constituency to the other. It is a shame that people do not take to the streets more often.

Or in greater numbers, for that matter.

I present, for the enjoyment of participants and observers, a photo of Anne Milton's Great March Across Guildford:

UPDATE - And here is another, where Amme can be clearly seen. Walking next to ~~campaign director~~ concerned citizen Grant Griffiths, by the looks of things:

Anne Milton votes against the youth vote

Tim — Wed, 30 Nov 2005 12:39:00 +0000

-

Anne Milton: "The voice of the young is the voice of the future, and politicians must realise that."

-

Hey, guess what? Anne's full of it!

Last night, there was a vote on the following:

Representation of the People (Reduction of Voting Age) - 29 Nov 2005 - Division No. 109: That leave be given to bring in a Bill to reduce the voting age for parliamentary, local government and European parliamentary elections to 16.

Anne is used to narrow margins, so I'm sure she recognises one when she sees it, but I think it's worth mentioning to the folks at home that this bill was killed by a margin of 8 votes... and Anne Milton voted against it.

Let's take a quick trip to the Essex Police website and see what you can do - besides vote - when you are between the ages of 16-18:

AGE 16
You can buy cigarettes or tobacco
You can leave school
You can choose your own doctor
You can claim social security benefit
You can work full time
You can leave home with your parents' consent
You can get married with one parent's consent
You can drink wine or beer with a meal in a restaurant
You can hold a licence to drive a moped
You can buy a ticket in the National Lottery

AGE 17
You can hold a licence to drive any vehicle except certain heavy ones
You can engage in street trading
You can purchase an air rifle
You can leave home without your parents’ consent

This list fails to mention that you can also join the army at age 16. You also get to pay taxes. Taxes that pay Anne Milton's wages.

But you cannot vote at age 16. Anne 'the voice of the young is the voice of the future' Milton says so.

Anne's position on this seems pretty hypocritical, especially when you consider how childish many of her deceptions are.

It was the blog what done it

Tim — Thu, 23 Jun 2005 13:42:00 +0000

If you take a look at Anne Milton's recent appearances in Parliament, it may well occur to you that she is desperate to visibly fulfil her promise to operate as a carbon-copy of Sue Doughty (minus the Lib-Dem policies that would spend your tax dollars on drug-dealing MRSA-infected murdering ~~terrorists~~ asylum seekers) as soon as is humanly possible.

One might even consider it all to be a bit rushed... but that would be ungracious.

Instead, let's looks beyond parliamentary posturing and gaze in wonder at The First Actual Result:

Yes folks, 6 months after she falsely took credit for it and claimed it was her idea in the first place, Vehicle Activated Signs have finally been installed on the A281 at Shalford.

Of course, they're not working today, but I'll get onto that in a moment.

First, I need to talk to you about timing.

6 months followed Milton's claim that it was all her own work and all her own idea, and nothing happened. Apart from someone putting a pole up.

So... following the mysterious appearance of these long-overdue signs yesterday, I decided to talk to the experts.

The signs are provided by a company called Westcotec. I talked to them this afternoon.

The signs were ordered as far back as February 2005, but installation normally doesn't proceed until the local authority:

1. erects the pole(s)
2. gets power to the pole(s)

And power is what we've been waiting on all this time. As the previous post points out, the work seen before 9th June involved illumination of an entirely different set of signs (and, judging by the path of the trench, this power comes via a cable under the nearest street-light). Up to this point, there was no indication that power had been installed in preparation for Vehicle Activated Signs.

But - miracle of miracles - about 2 weeks ago (i.e. sometime on or about the 9th of June - the date of the previous post) - Westcotec received confirmation that power had been installed in these poles and work could commence.

The signs were installed yesterday (the company operates on a 2-week turnaround at this time of year) and tested.

Sadly, they were not working today. I checked the back of the signs, and the LED power indicator is dead, dead, dead. This means that the sign is functional (as it was yesterday) but the power has failed.

One might even consider it all to be a bit rushed... but that would be ungracious.

ROFLMAO

Tim — Wed, 04 May 2005 07:38:00 +0000

Spotted in Bramley this morning:

Will Anne Milton sign Early Day Motion 1088?

Tim — Thu, 24 Nov 2005 12:23:00 +0000

EDM 1088 - CONDUCT OF GOVERNMENT POLICY IN RELATION TO THE WAR AGAINST IRAQ: That this House believes that there should be a select committee of seven honourable Members, being members of Her Majesty's Privy Council, to review the way in which the responsibilities of Government were discharged in relation to Iraq and all matters relevant thereto, in the period leading up to military action in that country in March 2003 and in its aftermath.

During the election campaign, Anne claimed to be angry about the Iraq war 'from the very beginning'.

Will she put her name to this motion?

If she does, will she do it early or will she hang back for a bit and see what other MPs do first?

[Note for the record: currently there are 6 signatures.]

UPDATES:
25 Nov - 32 signatures today... Anne's isn't among them.
26 Nov - 45 signatures, no Milton
30 Nov - 59 signatures (15 of them Tory), no Milton

1 Dec - 69 signatures and.... Anne Milton's is one of them! I must admit that I'm pleasantly surprised (this brings Anne score up to 2 in my book). I honestly thought she wouldn't touch this EDM with a barge poll while the Tory leadership remained in question. Either Anne has grown a pair, or Guido is on the money when he says that Davis is all but buried.

Kathy Lyons loses by-election - locals don't trust 'local people'

Tim — Wed, 30 Nov 2005 12:23:00 +0000

Caroline Anne Reeves, the Liberal Democrat candidate, has been elected as the new councillor for Friary & St Nicolas ward in the recent by-election (conducted 24 Nov 2005). The results were as follows:

Caroline Reeves (Liberal Democrats) - 1123
Kathy Lyons (Conservative Party) - 602
Susan Gomm (Labour Party) - 74
Thomas May (Independent) - 43

That's damn near a 2-to-1 result there. Perhaps folks in the Friary & St Nicolas ward sensed something 'off' about this hot piece of totty.

Could it be because this was the same Kathy they saw promoting Anne Milton as a 'local person' in this pamphlet, this pamphlet and this pamphlet?

If so, it would be a mistake to punish her for this, even if at the time she happened to be registered to vote under the same address as Richard M Halderthay (the promoter of all of these pamphlets).

You see, we cannot confirm career-driven duplicity here. After all, this pop at a proper position may not have been a reward for pamphlet pluggage and rent-a-crowd service at public appearances. It may simply be the case that Kathy was so inspired by Anne Milton's leadership that she decided to go into politics herself.

I, for one, am prepared to give her the benefit of the doubt on this.

But I would question her judgement...

In this, the pamphlet that first got me digging for 'local faces' Kathy says that; "As a mother of 4 Anne has real experience of juggling work and family. She'll be great for Guildford."

Can you spot the mistake Kathy made here? Yes, she forgot to factor in distance.

Anne doesn't live in Guildford, she lives in Reigate. So she has to juggle work and family and distance... and public appearances (see: work).

(Now, you may be tempted to ask; "Are all these public appearances are really necessary?"... but they seemed awfully necessary before the election. Not so much now.)

Surgeries II

Tim — Wed, 27 Jul 2005 11:31:00 +0000

(NOTE - this post was updated at 14:08 27 July in order to clarify the difference between 'Local Issues' and the 'Community News' pamphlets.)

Well, that certainly put a cat among the pigeons...

On Monday I published this post on Anne Milton's failure to publicise surgery details and anonymous 'contributors' came from out of the woodwork to defend Anne's position.

Well, actually, what they mostly did was attack mine. Their 'arguments' ranged from unsubstantiated claims that I'm a member of the Liberal Democrats to assurances that the appointment policy was due in part to unstable people like me wanting to do the poor woman harm. They even went on to suggest that I was the thin edge of the terror wedge. But they did nothing to disprove my actual point.

Well, they *almost* did, but I'll get onto that foot-in-mouth moment in a jiffy. Firstly, here is what has been established so far:

FACT #1 - Anne Milton had a 'no appointment' policy when she held psudo-surgeries before the election, but she has an appointment policy now.

Best defence from the Miltonites: Now she's a 'high profile' MP, she is a target. Sue Doughty required appointments. Wahhhh!

FACT #2 - Anne Milton publicised her pseudo-surgeries heavily - even to the point of advertising in the Surrey Ad - before the election, but has failed to do so now she's been elected.

Best defence from the Miltonites: Two anonymous contributors (make that 3 - see below) claimed to have received literature through their letterbox that contained surgery details. Again, I'll get onto that in a jiffy.

FACT #3 - Upon becoming an MP, Anne Milton did not go anywhere near the lengths Sue Doughty once went to to publicise her advice surgeries. Within weeks of becoming our MP, Sue Doughty put out posters showing dates and localities and the number to call to book an appointment and had them distributed to local public libraries and/or posted on public noticeboards. Anne Milton has failed to do the same.

Best defence from the Miltonites: A suggestion that 'Lib-Dem thugs' had been tearing Anne Milton's surgery notices down.... but no claim that they were published or put there in the first place.

FACT #4 - Anne Milton does not mention the current availability of surgeries on her website (unless you count the references made to them in PDF versions of Conservative leaflets that 'tomtom' argues put them 'in the public domain') and she certainly doesn't list dates and locations as many other MPs do.

Best defence from the Miltonites: "What other MP's (sic) do is their business."

On that last point, I'd just like to say that this makes Anne less than extraordinary. In fact, it makes her efforts seem less than ordinary. Moving on...

All of these 'defences' were buried amongst a load of accusatory hyperbole and diversion. When asked to put up or shut up on any particular claim or accusation (be it on-topic or not), they failed to put up... then failed to shut up. One anonymous contributor was so intent on disrupting debate, he (or she) had to be moderated. Then the new diversion was a load of bull about the right to free speech. Anonymous contributions are welcome on this site, but if you make a claim or accusation, you had better be prepared to back it up with evidence, see it investigated, or at the very least put your name to it.

Now, as I type this and prepare to address the aforementioned mystery-pamphlet, another anonymous Miltonite has piped up and claimed to have received this same literature outlining surgery details. So that's three people, all of them stolid supporters of Anne Milton, and all recipients of this same mysterious pamphlet. That they refuse to show me.

I'd very much like to see a copy of this pamphlet and/or learn more about where it was distributed, as circumstances would suggest that they were delivered only to members of the Conservative Party and/or members of Guildford Conservatives.

If this is the case, then the MP who pledged to serve *all* of Guildford has just been caught out giving her Tory supporters preferential treatment on advice surgeries.

I've seen a few different versions of the local Tory newsletter 'Local Issues', and they do mention surgeries. You can also see another circular sent to some residents of Bramley here, and yes, this also contains the following message: Anne holds regular surgeries. To make an appointment please call 01483 300330.

No dates, no details... but enough, you may argue, to be informed enough to ask about dates and locations. (*If* you were lucky enough to receive this and/or if you've signed up for the Guildford Conservatives. But you *definitely* will have received these details if you were a happy recipient of the former, which is a Guildford Conservatives newsletter.)

None of these anonymous contributors seem willing to confirm it, but it would certainly appear that one of these items this is the literature they're referring to.

And when the implications of what they'd inadvertently revealed hit them - that's when the anonymous Miltonites went well and truly batshit. It was Diversion City.

They ducked, they dived, they questioned my sanity and called this a hate campaign... before finally settling on the suggestion that perhaps Anne was putting out literature about surgery details region by region, and they just haven't reached letterboxes in my area yet. Unless, of course, you've signed up for the Guildford Conservatives.

They even suggested that I wasn't doing my part because I failed to publish those details here on this website (when Anne has clearly published them on her website somewhere in the back pages stashed inside a range of PDF files).

I can do better than that, folks... but first I'd like to point out that when I called Anne Milton's office on Monday and requested future surgery dates, only one was available (if you want to book an appointment for this date, please call 01483 300330):

12th of August at Sutherland Memorial Hall

I was assured that no further dates would be set until Anne came back from holiday.

So, if a pamphlet arrives on my doorstep outlining these dates:

Surgeries are arranged by appointment through Anne Milton's office in Guildford. To book an appointment at one of Annes surgeries please call 01483 300330 or email anne@annemilton.com Anne's next Surgeries are: 8th July - Bramley Village Hall, Hall Road, Bramley. - (17.15 - 19.00) 15th July - Guildford Conservative Association, 15 London Road, Guildford. GU1 2AA (09.00 - 11.00) 22nd July - Guildford Borough Council Offices, Meillmead - (16.00 - 18.00)

... then it's a bit sodding late, because it's now the 27th of July and my flux capacitor is in the shop for repairs.

If a pamphlet magically arrives with new dates in the next week/month, then it's the A281 all over again. Anne Milton will have promised, suggested, claimed or provided a certain level of service before the election, and then failed to deliver the same after she was elected... until she was shamed into doing so.

In my view, Milton has tried to bluff her way through and minimise her workload by simply reducing the number of people who were aware of surgeries being held in their area at a suitable time/date. Unless of course, they're members of Guildford Conservatives, in which case they've had a fair shot of finding out the details for themselves.

Now, onto me doing my bit.... here's my draft for a poster promoting the only available date we have at the moment:

If anyone from Anne's office wishes me to revise the design or content before publication and distribution, then they have but to ask. Of course, I could simply publish it here and claim that this offer was in the public domain, but I'll do the polite thing and email them directly.

If they fail to get back to me within 3 days, then I'll have to assume that we're good to go. Unless one of Anne Milton's supporters (sorry, best make that 'independent observers') wishes to have a say. In which case, they will need to make their requests for revision directly via email. For security reasons, natch.

Comment moderation

Tim — Fri, 11 Nov 2005 13:54:00 +0000

Blogger.com now offers a rudimentary moderation facility that allows me to screen comments prior to their publication. This - hopefully - will mean an end to anonymous Miltonites abusing the comments system late at night an in the early hours of the morning (poshibly when drunk).

Comments will now remain open every day and around the clock (though comments made outside of normal working hours may take longer to clear than others).

Thank you.