01-15 August, 2002

This entry was posted on
Thursday, August 1st, 2002
at
9:47 am and is filed
under Uncategorized.

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Date
20020801

Time
09:47
Thanks for all the IQ guesses, folks. Estimations of my intelligence ranged from the insulting to the flattering, but the closest guess (125) came from Red Dwarf over at ultimateinsult.net.

My IQ (depending on which stage of my life and/or test you refer to and how much beer I’ve been drinking) is somewhere between 130-138.

Hard to believe, isn’t it?

An autographed copy of The Net-Works Guide to Marketing Your Website is on its way over.

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Date
20020801

Time
09:54
The Saudi Government blocks around 2,000 websites, mostly for the hell of it. The Indian Government plans to block a whole lot more unless they pay a ‘toll’. Yeah, that’ll work…

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Date
20020801

Time
10:07
Scott Whitney told his kids not to see Monsters Inc. with their grandfather, because he wanted to take them to see it. Being kids, they saw it anyway, but kept it a secret. Unfortunately, when he (finally) took them to see the movie, they gave the game away by referring to upcoming scenes and developments. Enraged, he paddled his 9-year-old daughter when they got home – yes, with a real paddle – while yelling “You’re a little Becky!”

His estranged wife’s name is Rebecca.

Why do I get the feeling that the grandfather referred to in this story is of the maternal variety?

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Date
20020801

Time
10:16
Hire the man of your dreams at gigolo.com

Yes, it’s for real, but they don’t have any red-hot lovers for hire in the UK yet. Should I register?

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Date
20020801

Time
10:19
Licence money well spent.

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Date
20020801
Look It Up
Time
10:25
England and Poland have never been at war. Probably because we choose to tell jokes about the Irish instead.

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Date
20020801

Time
11:06
Sometimes my job can be a lot of fun… and then there’s today.

As part of some necessary research, today I ascertained that – across all of the major search engines – over 75,000 searches are made annually for images of external haemorrhoids.

Curiousity got the better of me, so I looked it up, too.

Oh dear God, my eyes!!!!!!

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Date
20020801

Time
11:09
Dogbomb (he of the George Best death pool) just received some rather impressive hate mail.

In a nice card, no less.

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Date
20020801

Time
13:42
The Abbey Road Webcam is the funniest live feed I’ve seen in a long time. You would be amazed at the things tourists do trying to get a good picture on what is probably the most famous pedestrian crossing in the world. Patience is required, but I just plugged this in B3ta and so far we’ve spotted several near misses, one girl who fell over trying to get the right angle, and a group of teenagers who thought it would be a good idea to lie in the middle of the road.

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Date
20020802

Time
10:02
Some better IQ tests for you to enjoy.

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Date
20020802

Time
10:11
Surely if he can afford a domain name and hosting he can also afford a hooker: buymeahooker.com

I’ll keep my money, thanks.

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Date
20020802

Time
10:14
“Freed from the constraints of the printed page (or any concept of ‘page’), an author can now blog a short thought that previously would have gone unwritten. The weblog’s post unit liberates the writer from word count.”

Well said.

Read more at What We’re Doing When We Blog.

Right, now to get back to defining myself a sentence at a time…

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Date
20020802

Time
10:19
The 100 Greatest Videos of All Time

You can watch clips, too. Cool.

Peter Gabriel’s “Sledgehammer” comes in at No.3, and why that pleases me greatly is my business.

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Date
20020802

Time
10:27
Steve Outing has a problem with Spam filters. His problem is that a recent opt-in newsletter he sent out was bounced without notification because it contained words and textual styles that triggered the spam filters.

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Date
20020802

Time
10:33
I mentioned this a few days ago, but couldn’t find a live link. Happily, Romenesko came through.

Britney Spears’ Dad Pulls Gun On Fans.

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Date
20020802

Time
10:53
Man forced to withdraw penis from eBay. I’m a sucker for a good headline.

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Date
20020802
Look It Up
Time
10:54
During World War II, the FBI ran a gay brothel in NYC that was staffed with multi-lingual agents. The idea was to extract information from foreign sailors.

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Date
20020802

Time
12:23
It’s the B3ta slot machine. Only funny if you’re a B3tan, sorry.

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Date
20020802

Time
15:53
I have precisely one hour to come up with a knockout idea for promoting a migraine treatment.

Now I have a headache.

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Date
20020802
Latest Viral Agents
Time
16:27
This parking game is quite a departure for Tesco. They’re normally much more boring about things. Not a bad game, really – but don’t expect it to distract you for an entire afternoon.

If the whole parking things stresses you out, do what I did to get rid of my headache – get out there and kick some heads.

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Date
20020802
Photoshopping
Time
17:22
I don’t get to do this anywhere near as much as I used to – but I can still pull a chart-topper out now and again. If you’ll excuse me now, I’m late for my rocket sled to hell.

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Date
20020805

Time
10:08
When we can afford it, the boys and I drop by a boot sale to top up the Lego collection. The only problem is that now, at the largest boot sale near us, there is a heartless sow with a face like a cat’s bum who buys up all the Lego, knocking personal trader’s prices down with her withering ‘take it or leave it’ voice, then selling it at greatly inflated prices. She’s free to wander around and target new sellers as they arrive because she doesn’t run her own stall. She always attaches herself to somebody else’s stall by offering to pay for their patch. I’m sure there’s another reason she does this – she wants to put a human face on her little trading empire and when she stands there alone, children are afraid to approach.

I don’t blame them. She looks like a ginger version of the Child Catcher from Chitty Chitty Bang Bang.

I’m all for free enterprise, but this woman is really starting to get on my nerves. Next week, I’m tempted to go in nice and early – to follow her around and offer a pound more than she offers every step of the way.

In the nicest way possible, of course.

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Date
20020805

Time
10:10
The site findadeath.com seems to be suffering from a near-death experience. Yet another webmaster goes begging for change.

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Date
20020805
It Had To Happen
Time
10:15
Some chap has started a of stupid hyperlink policies over at dontlink.com

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Date
20020805

Time
10:20
A glossary of English ‘food’. Good thing I learned how to cook before coming here.

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Date
20020805

Time
10:26
I was quite disappointed to discover that the official site of Amelia Earhart doesn’t consist of a single 404 page.

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Date
20020805

Time
10:30
The latest edition of Celebrity Bestiality is out. This month: Darius Danesh.

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Date
20020805

Time
10:33
WARNING! This collection of propaganda posters may contain satire.

(Another great find from ultimateinsult.net)

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Date
20020805

Time
10:44
I don’t know much about sculpture, but I know what I like.

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Date
20020805

Time
11:20
How to say ‘NO’ in over 520 languages. If this doesn’t get you anywhere, try saying “I can eat glass, it doesn’t hurt me,” a phrase specifically designed to elicit respect in just about any culture.

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Date
20020805
Look It Up
Time
12:23
The Sybarites taught their horses to ‘dance’ to flute music in order to make their parades more impressive. When the Sybarites attacked Croton in 510 B.C., the Crotoniates whipped out a few flutes and played up a storm. The horses stopped mid-charge to dance, and the Sybarites were slaughtered.

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Date
20020805

Time
13:57
An excellent offering this month from Tom Tomorrow. Two strips for the price of one!

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Date
20020805

Time
15:58
Short but sweet: Austrian police search lake for reported floating ‘corpse’ and find a sex doll.

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Date
20020805
Christianity Watch
Time
16:10
The Christian Golfer’s Association: offering you better putting through prayer.

Trivia: 5% of lightning strikes causing death or injury occur on the golf course.

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Date
20020805

Time
17:16
A court in northern Saudi Arabia has sentenced a Nigerian teenager to six months in jail and 240 lashes for having sex with a camel.

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Date
20020806
It Had To Happen
Time
09:49
Yawn!

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Date
20020806

Time
09:54
Mini-Me to lead world’s largest chicken dance. No need to click – the headline says it all.

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Date
20020806

Time
10:13
One of the world’s most prolific spammers, Ronald Scelson, has no problems speaking to reporters.

When asked why he was so willing to speak with a reporter, he replied:

“I don’t need the press on my side; I can reach more people than you can.”

Yes, his brain really seems to be wired this way. I’m tempted to reach for a clue-by-four. In fact, the creative cogs are turning in my mind as we speak.

Hmm, yes I do believe I have it.

Let me just check something…

Yep, I know where he lives.

I have a big job on today, but I will get back to you.

In the meantime, you can focus your hatred on this photo of Scelson. Imagine his smug grin spreading across the room as his head explodes. It works for me.

UPDATE – Read this post Ronald Scelson made to news.admin.net-abuse.email, defending his right to make our lives a misery. Ooh, look – I’m a Nazi.

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Date
20020806

Time
12:15
Watch the world population grow. Those numbers just keep ticking over…

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Date
20020806

Time
12:54
So Solid Crew accused of group sex attack. This article just reached the discussion group at the official SSC site. Only a few comments so far, but it’s sure to liven up soon.

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Date
20020806

Time
15:41
The Register is launching an ISP. Where do I sign?

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Date
20020806
Photoshopping, In-Jokes, Etc.
Time
17:19
The poor dears over at B3ta are having a bit of a troll invasion at the moment, thus the reference to Jeff. Not that you’ll get any of the other refernces, that is. Fark also had a bit of a moderating snafu today, prompting quite a few threatened walkouts. Erm, and Fb- is the father.

Did you get all of that? Good.

I won’t be in until late tomorrow, but I’ll try to make some progress on a certain spammer when I do.

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Date
20020807

Time
12:59
Hmmm. A day after mentioning everybody’s favourite spammer Ronald Scelson, I received an inordinate amount of spam in my Inbox. Surely a coincidence.

I have something in mind for our friend Ronald, but I want to hold my water until tomorrow night’s Fark party, as I’m sure some excellent ideas will result from an open discussion here.

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Date
20020807

Time
13:07
Vigilante neighbors take to child molestor with a red-hot spatula. Whether it was purchased at Spatula City is not on record.

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Date
20020807

Time
13:12
Way cooler than a life-size Millennium Falcon (well, maybe). This guy built a Battlemech Treehouse for his kids.

Tch! And the best I can do is Lego? I’m going to have to lift my game.

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Date
20020807

Time
13:33
Huzzah! A new Acolyte for the Universal Church of the Interactive Network.

Woot! This one is an even more impressive convert.

We also got blogged favourably by Bea.

Good to see that everybody’s getting the point. Can the top search result for ‘religion’ be far away?

The site is currently 251st for this generic search term (up from #300 or so this time last week).

We’re getting there…

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Date
20020807

Time
14:35
An excellent archive of controversial news stories that would otherwise disappear forever. The site’s name – The Memory Hole – refers to the little chute next to all desks at the Ministry of Truth in George Orwell’s 1984. It is into this hole (leading straight to the furnace) that information is sent when it is to be edited out of existence.

Controversial stories like this one are taken offline or edited every day, mostly due to corporate censorship and spin-doctoring. Online news services – or their hosts – are notoriously easy to bully into submission.

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Date
20020807
Yet Another Lame Quiz
Time
15:13
Which finger are you?

Surprisingly, I turned out to be the middle finger.

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Date
20020808
Christianity Watch
Time
10:05
Christians are embracing Ned Flanders as a role model. Iconic? Ironic.

At times like this, your really have to ask yourself: What the Fuck Would Jesus Do?

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Date
20020808

Time
10:10
This little teen held up a newsstand, demanding porn at gunpoint. This teen set his sights a little higher, by stealing $28,000 from under his grandmother’s bed and spending a fair chunk of it on crack cocaine, marijuana, alcohol and a room at the Red Roof Inn for him and his mates. What, no hookers? Hm. Perhaps the local brothel was closed.

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Date
20020808

Time
10:12
Whye the hell would I want my own barcode?

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Date
20020808

Time
10:15
Going mosh-pitting this weekend and need to learn a few new moves? Check out this excellent guide to mosh-pitting. Includes JPEGs of individual and group moves, and two instructional .SWF files.

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Date
20020808

Time
10:25
Extreme duct taping. My life now has new meaning.

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Date
20020808

Time
11:01
On Monday, a fellow B3tan complained about being forced to sit through a government training film entitled “Barry’s Bad Data Day”. Having made a few dire corporate videos myself in the past (career highlight: the joys of stencil paving) I was curious enough to look up those responsible for it. The first site I found was that of the Information Commissioner, and it was on this site that discovered that anybody can send an email and order a copy, completely free of charge.

For your own entertainment, I advise you to do so forthwith. I ordered mine on Monday, and arrived on Wednesday. I was greatly disappointed to discover, however, that this glorious film boasts no credits.

No matter. I already know that the dazzling script was by Jonathan Priest and from this site it was only a hop skip and a jump to the site of Centre Screen, the company that produced it. Erm, best not click that last one. It’s a flash site that’s needlessly top-heavy. Just take my word for it that the executive producer is one Rick Megginson. There isn’t much information online about Rick, but he did enter the 1976 Ottawa International Animation Festival.

Sadly, I was unable to discover the identity of the energetic and earnest chap in the lead role. Perhaps somebody who orders a copy will recognise him?

I’d email Centre Screen and ask, but I fear I am not worthy.

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Date
20020808

Time
11:30
Don’t you hate it when you go to the barber for a trim and he takes too much off? Still, hair grows back. To the best of my knowledge, penises do not.

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Date
20020808

Time
11:36
Aquarium platform falls and dumps 10 into shark tank. Heh. This tickles me, because it’s one of the opening set pieces in my novel. (It’s coming, folks. Have patience.)

The difference being, in my case, it’s 30 people. Well, 30 orphans to be precise. After this, the book moves on to happier matters. No, really…

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Date
20020808
Lego
Time
11:55
I know what you’re going to say: “Yawn! Lego Porn, been there, done that!”

Ah, yes – but this is a little more sophisticated than the carnal fumblings of multiple minifigs.

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Date
20020808
Flash Games
Time
12:02
How could you not enjoy Cliff-Diving Monkeys?

The waves come and go, and different monkeys fall at different rates. If the water’s too shallow, the monkeys go splat. Lots of fun, and, if you’re crap at games like I am, lots of blood and guts as well.

There’s even a low-res version for those of you on slower computers. Enjoy.

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Date
20020808

Time
12:15
Remember the man who was arrested for grilling a kitten? He’s up for trial soon, and someone’s started an online petition, urging the Clay County Prosecutor’s Office to seek the maximum sentence of five years in prison and the maximum fine of $5000. Over 25,000 cat-lovers have signed so far. Last Chance for Animals (LCA) is also baying for blood.

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Date
20020808

Time
15:45
Ooh, lookie – it’s an anatomically correct mannequin.

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Date
20020808

Time
16:41
Arrrrgh! It’s one of those really annoying ‘robot’ mimes.

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Date
20020808
Yet Another Lame Quiz
Time
16:42
I’m 36% geek. The relatively low score is due to a mixture of my technological ignorance and the fact that I have sex from time to time. How Geeky Are You?

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Date
20020808

Time
16:46
Bloody hell.

The White Horse pub in Hascombe is a damn fine pub. I don’t frequent it daily or anything, but I’m familiar with it. In fact, local ginger-spotters report that Chris Evans spends a great deal of time there.

I wouldn’t know. I’ve only ever seen him directing traffic in Godalming and met him once in a completely different pub (long story). Oops, I’m rambling.

Chris Evans was on board a yacht last night with the owner of the White Horse, who was captaining the vessel. Until, that is, he was killed when a boom swung across the boat and knocked him into the water. Poor guy.

Of course, most articles are going to focus on how Chris feels about it and why Billie wasn’t on board at the time. Investigating officers made a point of mentioning that alcohol didn’t seem to be a factor, but there’s sure to be some speculation regarding this as well. Oh, it all makes me so happy.

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Date
20020809

Time
10:08
Last night, I was out with a fellow Farker or two having a beer outside a busy pub, when a woman trying to sell copies of the Big Issue approached us.

She had a young girl with her, who was about 8-10 years old

1. The added presence of the young pity-figure is the standard calling card of fake refugee beggars

2. I’m pretty sure the folks at the Big Issue wouldn’t approve of one of their sellers taking her young daughter out on rounds at 8:30pm

So, I asked for ID.

From beneath her scarf, she produced what would have to be the worst fake ID I have ever seen in my life.

It was a photocopy of a real Big Issue ID, with the photo of a woman obscured by a scarf (who could have been anyone, really). It was produced on pink paper, presumably to add to its authenticity, and laminated very roughly. It was, and this is my favourite bit, held around her neck by a grotty piece of string.

I told her that I was in no doubt that she was a fraud, and cheating genuine homeless people out of their livelihood.

(I must admit here that I’d made the assumption that most of the funds from her sales would go to whatever gang is running this latest scam.)

She denied it hotly, so I dug out my digital camera and tried to take a photo of the ID.

Instead, I got a wonderful picture of her hand.



Off she shuffled, cursing me under her breath.

She didn’t get more than 12 steps before she found a much better prospect, and had him forking out change within seconds.

Out came the camera again, and this time I got a much better shot.

No ‘under the breath’ nonsense this time around. Instead, I was graced with not one hearty and loud “Fuck you!” but three. Her daughter was more restrained, and would only say: “You’re a bad man! Bad man!”

I know, sometimes I can be positively evil.

So evil, in fact, that I’m not only telling you about this relatively new scam, but also uk.local.london and the Big Issue, who this morning will be offered a his-res version of my photo by email. I hope they put her on the cover, then we’ll see how many copies she sells.

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Date
20020809
Classics
Time
11:08
Put a big fat hairy arse on any web page you choose. I chose this one.

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Date
20020809

Time
11:26
Send your friends a pee-mail. I made this one just for you guys. Enjoy.

(Link via Dogbomb)

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Date
20020809
Flash Games
Time
11:43
Bring an emu in for a soft landing. Emus can fly? Wow, Rod Hull must be pissed.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20020809

Time
13:01
The site savekaryn.com wants donations towards the $20,000 Karyn needs to pay off a credit card debt. Turns out she’s been hammering it everywhere from Bloomingdales to Ebay, but she was only doing to to help the economy, honest! The new site dontsavekaryn.com comes courtesy of two chaps called Bob and Ben, who are less than impressed with Karyn’s sense of ‘fiscal responsibility’ and say so in the nicest way possible. Mind you, they make this point by – ahem – asking you for money, and this second site is absolutely littered with pop-ups (including, quite entertainingly, one promoting a debt relief package). Nevertheless, both sites are entertaining in their own way, and both are important landmarks in the evolution of online begging. You have to at least drop by so you can say ‘I was there’.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20020809
OK, So I’m a Star Wars Geek
Time
16:01
Ladies and Gentlemen, please welcome to the stage… Mr Billy Fett!

Luke is flying in his X-Wing tonight

Through the heights of planet Dagobah

Leavin’ Obiwan & Yoda behind

Out to find his gen-et-ic father

Say goodbye to Dagobah

Say goodbye my baby

Say goodbye to Dagobah

Say goodbye my baby

Han is takin’ care of things for a while

And his style is so warm witty and wry

Leia’s smilin’ happily and it shows

Cos she knows she’s Luke’s sister and Jedi

Say goodbye to Dagobah

Say goodbye my baby

Say goodbye to Dagobah

Say goodbye my baby

Moving on, is the chance that you take

When you fall in love with your sister

Whoa

You’ll find it’s way out of line

If you want to make love

Or maybe want… to fist her

To fii-hi-i-hist her.

I’m so powerful and strong with the force

That of course, I could win easily

But Obiwan said Darth murdered my Dad

Now I’m sad, because Obiwan lied to me

Say goodbye to Dagobah

Say goodbye my baby

Say goodbye to Dagobah

Say goodbye my baby

Doubts are racing in and out of my mind

Now I find evil dwells within my soul

The force seems stronger when I leave good behind

I’m afraid the dark side will take control

Say goodbye to Dagobah

Say goodbye my baby

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20020809

Time
16:16
Disabled jokes are on the menu. No, really.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20020811
Feedback
Time
21:31
“Well done,” says Jed, “Only you would rhyme ‘fist her’ with ‘sister’!”

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20020812
It Had To Happen
Time
09:55
1. Blogger is offering banner ads on Blogspot. A major blog interface provider, and they miss the point like this? Tch!

2. Oh, it’s Blogrolling now, is it? Insert the sound of a stifled yawn here:

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20020812
Department of ‘I Told You So’
Time
09:56
“There is, at last, some evidence that the main commercial sites are realising that this aggressive advertising does not work.”

Why ads on the net don’t work.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20020812

Time
10:06
The Ballad of Bilbo Baggins (links to Quicktime .MOV file). Leonard Nimoy sings up a storm on film. The truly sad thing is that I own the album this is from, but I must admit to preferring the classic ditty ‘Highly Illogical’.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20020812
LOTR
Time
10:20
Five things that sucked about Lord Of The Rings.

“2. Not enough lesbians. In fact, there weren’t any.”

I’m sure you get the idea…

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20020812

Time
10:30
Not much blogging on today folks (I must go and bravely enter the world of the offline agency). Still, there are two new articles/thingies for you to read:

1. WTF is Weblog Marketing? attempts to explain to the clueless what potential exists and the kind of stupidity they should avoid. It should also let hardcore bloggers know more or less where I’m coming from.

2. Can Weblogs Reach Ronald Scelson? is the latest Can Weblogs…? experiment, seeing if a little people-power can shake some sense into one of the world’s biggest spammers.

Have fun, and play nice.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20020812
Flash Movies
Time
10:37
Enjoy this Hard Copy take on the Enron story.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20020813

Time
09:53
The Ultimate Insult notes that the Simpson family, like so many other celebrities, have sold out to the almighty Yen and appeared in a series of Japanese ads for soft drink called CC Lemon. Still, at least it’s not as bad as the Flintstones flogging Winston cigarettes.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20020813
Department of ‘I Told You So’
Time
10:01
“There’s a vast group of people out there now who are experts in finding the news and links, capturing its essence in short snippets, and churning it out hour after hour, day after day. We know their content is compelling, and that drives traffic and repeat visitors to their sites. It’s time to take blogging to the next level and that starts with paying people to produce high-quality, focused blogs for commercial Web sites.”

Read more at:

Blogging for Dollars: Giving Rise to the Professional Blogger

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20020813

Time
10:07
Topping Blogdex and Daypop today:

Tales of the Plush Cthulhu.

If you’re wondering what it’s all about, you might want to check out the Cthulhu Mythos FAQ or dig deeper via its category in Google.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20020813

Time
10:16
One minute we’re banging rocks together, the next minute, off we go, lickety-split up the evolutionary ziggurat. And it all started with a magic mushroom.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20020813
Flash Movies
Time
10:24
How to score without making it to the end zone.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20020813

Time
10:26
Stray dog identified by microchip and returned to owner. 6 years after the pooch went missing.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20020813

Time
10:28
Argument over blueberry pie culminates in murder-suicide. Both husband and wife died from gunshot wounds. The fate of the freshly-baked pie is, sadly, unrecorded.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20020813

Time
10:41
A pictorial HisTory of Michael Jackson’s face.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20020813

Time
10:42
Popbitch boarders are reacting predictably to advertising on the site.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20020813

Time
11:21
The Guardian has done another quiz:

Are you a workplace time-waster?

But, again, they’re neglected to format the results as a ‘cut and paste’ graphic/link.

*sigh*

Well, perhaps the omission is deliberate. We can only hope.

Friends Of The Earth are at it, too – but this quiz is hosted at a new URL, not at their main site, and it’s produced in (wait for it) shockwave flash. There’s a ‘send to a friend’ function at the end, granted, but both of these quizzes miss the vital element of link generation.

Let me spell it out for the uninitiated:

The more people who link to your site, the better it performs in search engines (especially Google). Doing a quiz in the correct way boosts your link popularity. In this way, you not only attract people via the quiz, but also attract more folks via search engines.

In fact, this blog owes a great deal of its overall link popularity to the MASH Quiz.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20020813

Time
15:04
Well, here it is – a new bloggerheads logo/image thingy (up the top to your left). What do you think?

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20020813

Time
15:49
Latin to be banned from the courtroom. Omnia mutantur nos et mutamur in illis.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20020813

Time
15:59
A Woman’s Guide on How to Pee Standing. No funnel or attachments required.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20020813

Time
22:14
Can Weblogs Reach Ronald Scelson? is going ballistic today, mostly thanks to Fark. You can read what Farkers think of the whole thing (and pick up some useful information) by reading the related thread.

Another boring day tomorrow with offline marketing folks, but I’ll be back and bouncing on Thursday.

Have fun, and play nice.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20020814

Time
16:07
Via the wonderful Firda comes this equally wonderful Merkin’s guide to speaking British proper like what we do.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20020814

Time
16:20
A brand spanking new article about your mate and mine, Ronald Scelson – and fellow spammer, Al Ralsky.

Hmmm, now what can be done for Al?

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20020814

Time
16:48

Dear God,

Please send me £3.4m so I can devote the rest of my life to proving how unfulfilling monetary wealth is.

Cheers,

Manic

(Link via ‘Can Weblogs…?’ supporter Jon Jon)

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20020814

Time
16:53
Ahahahahahahahahahahaha!

Ladies and gentlemen, allow me to present to you the top search result in Google for ‘Ronald Scelson’.

I love it.

This search also turns up a number of blogs who have linked to our campaign in the last couple of days.

Heh. Daily indexing – is there anything it can’t do?



Before I sign off for the day, special mentions also go to Pixelforge who supported the campaign with the following statement: “Don’t question, just do it. That is all.” and Matt, who describes Scelson as a ‘magnificient bastard’.

Magnificent, indeed. I can only hope that today’s mail call (if not tomorrow’s) starts him on a journey towards becoming a better human being.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20020815
Christianity Watch
Time
09:54
The Ultimate Insult does it again. Check out this great animation of Christ being nailed to a cross. You can also get a screensaver version to hammer the Christian message home on a daily basis.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20020815

Time
09:59
Is your favourite celebrity alive or dead? Better check here, just to be sure. Interestingly, Elvis Presley and Jim Morrison are not listed.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20020815
Department of ‘I Told You So’
Time
10:02
Dan Bricklin on the subject of blogs and business applications.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20020815
It Had To Happen
Time
10:08
Gaze in wonder (or boredom) at the blogging collective hosted at blogcritics.com

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20020815
Ronald Scelson
Time
10:10
Groovymother is on the Ronald Scelson bandwagon and wonders:

“Hmmm… maybe Mr Scelson would like to join a CD club… He seems like a Ricky Martin sort of guy.”

(Really? I always saw him as more of a Neil Diamond type…)

Camworld chips in with the simple yet eloquent statement: “Die Spammers Die!”

Bloggers Rogi and Eddie are also on the case, but the most interesting developments on this front happen when the link spreads to a discussion group, where not only that vital address is shared, but also some interesting ideas as well.

Oh, how I wish I could see Ronnie’s mailbox today…

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20020815

Time
10:16
An article on that shameless savekaryn.com woman. She’s taken in over 4 grand so far, (which covers about a quarter of the credit card bill at the centre of this begfest).

To think the poor dear was only earning $100,000 a year, too…

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20020815

Time
11:03
Britain marks 150 years of public toilets – erm, by closing most of them down. If you’re going to London and think you might want to spend a penny while you’re there, use this searchable database.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20020815

Time
11:58
Are you Darius? Take this simple quiz to find out.

They missed an important question, though: Do you like cows?

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20020815

Time
13:50
Computer games are used as a tool to praise Satan. It might be best to go outside and partake in some more wholesome activities instead.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20020815

Time
13:56
Enjoy this very disturbing collection of stock photography. A combination of these would make for one hell of a feature in the Daily Mail.

(The fun really starts on Page 2, so do press on – it’s worth it.)

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20020815
Emma Jones: Hardcore Journalist
Time
14:12
Says Emma in her feature article today:

“Like everyone else in Britain today, I feel an increasing sense of despair as the search for Holly Wells and Jessica Chapman continues. But I can’t help thinking that, in a small way, we all share some responsibility for their plight. Why? Because we live in a society where paedophilia has been allowed to infiltrate our mainstream culture. Sexy images of children in pop videos, magazines and adverts now appear perfectly normal, even fashionable.”

How true, how very true. She even cites that Britney video as a prime example, which makes this choice of lead picture in today’s edition of Bizarre even more entertaining.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20020815

Time
14:40
How cool, a role playing card game based on Spam.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20020815

Time
14:52
1. Commies are mammals.

2. Commies fight ALL the time.

3. The purpose of the commie is to flip out and kill people.

Find out more at The Official Commie Webpage.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20020815

Time
14:54
Bummer. My Iconobloc has left me, citing neglect.

Oh well. At least my houseplants are still alive.

No, wait…

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20020815

Time
15:54
United States and Italian officials have launched a joint inquiry into reports that US military helicopters swooped low over a packed beach so that the crew could get a close-up view of sunbathers. They wouldn’t have been spotted if they’d done this after dark with night vision goggles.

No, wait…








About Tim Ireland

Tim is the sole author of Bloggerheads.
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