02-15 September, 2002

This entry was posted on
Monday, September 2nd, 2002
at
10:01 am and is filed
under Uncategorized.

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Date
20020902
Flash Stupidity
Time
10:01
Punk kittens. Proving yet again that web users admire higher concepts and professional execution of same.

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Date
20020902

Time
10:04
Stupid pen tricks.

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Date
20020902
It Had To Happen
Time
10:05
WTC memorial ideas submitted by the public. All pretty banal. Personally, I prefer my own idea of two giant lava lamps.

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Date
20020902

Time
10:09
The adventures of Maritess, ‘the Filipina maid who cleans up Justice League Headquarters’ – including, we can assume, the numerous animal messes and liquid spills generated by those loveable Wonder Twins.

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Date
20020902
Photoshopping
Time
10:15
I tip my hat to the creator of this beautiful hoax. The offending item also features in this excellent entry from a recent Fark thread.

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Date
20020902

Time
10:17
Man sends bomb disguised as gift to ex-girlfriend. She twigged when she recognised his handwriting. And then a few protuding wires. Not a moment I’d forget in a hurry.

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Date
20020902

Time
10:26
What are the hot topics in the weblogging community today?

More to the point – why are they all ‘Untitled’ today?

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Date
20020902
Department of ‘I Told You So’
Time
10:28
It’s Just Porn, Mum is getting a lot of radio play, despite recent assertions that this would never, ever happen. Roll on Jpeg Baby

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Date
20020902
LOTR
Time
10:33
Pirate version of ‘Two Towers’ leaked onto Internet 4 months ahead of release. Allegedly. Do yourself a favour and wait for cinema release.

1. This claim is bogus. Searching for the file is a waste of time.

2. It’s a big screen movie. Watching any kind of pirate copy ahead of seeing it a cinema would most likely ruin the experience for you.

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Date
20020903

Time
09:33
Is it just me, or are Daypop and Blogdex both showing increased signs of strain?

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Date
20020903
Flash Thingies
Time
09:35
You may want to drop by zombo.com and ready your mind first, but once it is open, treat it to this little trip. Be sure to explore, but do so in small quantities, or you could end up like this.

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Date
20020903

Time
09:42
Little Brendan Thompson (5) has an ‘aggressive cancer that is no longer responding to treatment’. He’s not expected to make it to his favourite holiday, Halloween – so his friends, family and neighbours all joined in for an early celebration. Brendan went dressed as the Grim Reaper.

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Date
20020903

Time
09:49
Enjoy a new dance every day with -thedanceman-

Ah, such youthful exuberance. It warms the heart.

There used to be a guy who did this with his mates every Friday, but I’m damned if I can find the site or a shortcut to it in my eeeeeeeeeeeeeenormous Favourites collection.

Still, I did find this: Concordances of Great Books (see, it’s got the word ‘dance’ in it, that Page Title does). The site is by no means a pretty affair, but it’s very powerful – and great for looking up rude words in works by the masters.

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Date
20020903

Time
10:15
A 37-year-old Belgian is appearing in court after hiring out his 11 year old daughter as a prostitute. ‘Clients’ of the young girl included the family doctor, the village lumberjack, the car repair man and the owner of the village antique-shop.

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Date
20020903

Time
10:31
Thanks go to Joe for bringing this one to my attention. A neat little whisper/word virus with a clear message hidden in a seemingly harmless warning sticker. The timing for this link is also pretty good when you consider how successfully the oil-producers maintained a chokehold on the recent Earth Summit.

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Date
20020903
Yet Another Lame Quiz
Time
10:56
And yet another botched commercial attempt, this one for L.A. Fitness, a quiz to help you determine how much sex you would need to burn up the calories in a hot dog or kebab.

1. It’s in Flash

2. Email recommendation only, no ‘link to quiz with results’ function

3. Not that this would help any, as the quiz is hosted at a new URL, not the main site

*sigh*

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Date
20020903

Time
11:22
Visit itconsulting.co.uk for all your web design needs. You can see some of their excellent work at www.horse-web.com, which appears to be their only paying client at present. Oh, wait. Looking closer at the front page I see that they work for free on ‘Horse/Equine related activities’.

OK, who wants a horsie site?

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Date
20020904
Department of ‘I Told You So’
Time
09:37
Announced today: “Blogdex is currently undergoing some much needed repairs.”

Heh.

Oh, and charting well today: gay robots.

I always had my suspicions about Rosie from The Jetsons

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Date
20020904

Time
09:41
8-year-old foster child steals pickup truck to visit family. When pulled over, he was topping 80mph.

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Date
20020904
Random Ideas
Time
09:55
I don’t know about you, but I’m sick to death of being confronted by bucket-wielding guilt merchants. At their best, they simply stand in high traffic areas and get in the way. Some might even be naughty enough to shake their change-tins at you. At their worst, they get on the train and loudly announce what a good cause they work for before going through the carriage to collect money.

I’m tempted to set up my own charity, the Foundation for Compassion Fatigue (FCF).

We can make downloadable handouts for people to give to those soliciting donations saying things like “It’s the confrontation that I object to” and “I gave at the office (PS, of course I’m lying)”.

Perhaps, without a hint of irony, we can also take donations – then pass this money out to strangers in high traffic areas or stand by public phone or pay toilets and sort people out for much-needed small change.

A good idea? A bad idea? What do you think?

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Date
20020904

Time
09:56
Few people realise how fun it is to read emails in reaction to stories posted at Romenesko’s Obscure Store. Today, there’s a woman with an illuminating tale about team mascots (don’t forget the big race on the 29th of September and a reply from the woman who was slapped in the face with a raw steak after complaining at a restaurant. Good stuff.

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Date
20020904
It Had To Happen
Time
10:03
Get ‘em while they’re nice and panicked:

11-year-old girl fitted with a tracking microchip. Fitting the microchip requires surgery on the wrist. Her parents can then track her movements via a website that gives access to GPS satellites. Just in case she’s abducted, you understand…

Scary.

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Date
20020904

Time
10:09
Anna was kind enough to let me know about this article:

Children at mercy of e-mail porn.

I’m assuming she sent it in connection to this passage in Can Weblogs Reach Ronald Scelson?, warning participants that they should not send porn when mailing this notorious spammer:

“Ronald lives with his wife and three young children. While my own young children may in the past have been confronted with the words ‘Rape Sex’ or ‘Penis Enlargement’ while looking over my shoulder as email arrived, there is no proof that such emails arrived from Mr Scelson, and certainly no justification for repeating this offence. Two wrongs do not make a right.”

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Date
20020904

Time
10:48
China blocks Google

Greece bans Gameboys

I need a third headline here. For balance. Any ideas?

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Date
20020904
Emma Jones: Hardcore Journalist
Time
11:18
A little birdy tells me that Emma Jones is unlikely to return to features work at The Sun following her maternity leave. Not that she knows about this or anything…

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Date
20020904

Time
11:30
Remember those old hand-cranked mimeograph machines they used to have in the offices at school?

You know – the foul beast that would crank out exam paper after exam paper, providing only the small consolation of a temporary high in return.

Ah, the heady days of ink-sniffing. How I miss them…

Question: Train A, traveling 70 miles per hour (mph), leaves Westford heading toward Eastford, 260 miles away. At the same time Train B, traveling 60 mph, leaves Eastford heading toward Westford. When do the two trains meet? How far from each city do they meet?

Answer: Purple

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Date
20020904

Time
12:33
Periodic Table of Condiments.

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Date
20020904
OK, So I’m a Star Wars Geek
Time
12:38
A street-legal landspeeder on sale at ebay. How could you not score in a car like that?

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Date
20020904

Time
12:46
Word is spreading fast about the Harry Potter vibrating broomstick. Watch and wait. The reviews there are entertaining enough, but many more are sure to follow.

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Date
20020904

Time
13:24
Tony has a CD list. It took him a while to make, so he was a bit pissed off when someone else (also named Tony – Tony Weldon to be precise) stole the list – code and all – for a quick trim and inclusion on his website.

The good news was that Tony (the original Tony, that is) had the background called up from the full URL of the file at his server (http://www.i-r-genius.com/tony/bback.jpg). Because the code was ripped off wholesale (as well as the text) the original Tony was able to deliver this subtle message at the location of the stolen page.

Justice!

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Date
20020904
Oldies But Goodies
Time
13:35
This ‘genuine’ letter is doing the rounds again. Thankfully, this version of the same joke is not.

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Date
20020904

Time
14:14
Only Funny if you know/remember who James/Lauren Harries is. And no, I’m not going to tell you. Trust me, you’re better off not knowing.

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Date
20020904

Time
15:33
The WTC memorial ideas submitted by the public we blogged on Monday were pretty dull.

Were.

Lately, there have been some very interesting entries.

Sure to be taken down soon, but I’m amazed it got through in the first place.

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Date
20020904

Time
15:48
Ooh, lookie – an even better professional web designer. He has the local Christian market wrapped up by the looks of things.

Hmmm, somebody should start a collection of these. Beyond webpagesthatsuck.com, more like a ‘serious’ directory of (ahem) excellent web designers.

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Date
20020905
Look It Up
Time
09:52
In his new book, Martin Amis reveals that Lenin had trouble pronouncing his r’s.

At this stage, it’s important to wemember that he was a wussian wevolutionary.

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Date
20020905

Time
09:54
Couple who haved lived in an oak tree for 12 years are served with an eviction notice.

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Date
20020905
Oldies But Goodies
Time
09:56
Want to send somebody a subtle hint about their appearance, behavious or aroma? There is now a greatly expanded choice of messages available at justatip.com

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Date
20020905

Time
09:59
Descendants of slaves in the US for are suing Lloyd’s of London, amongst others, demanding compensation for unpaid work carried out by their ancestors. Shades of Holocaust reparation, but how far back can you go before things get silly?

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Date
20020905
Flash Games
Time
10:04
New York Defender shows a unique measure of sensitivity, right down to the timing of its release.

While you’re in the mood, you might also want to visit groundzerothemepark.com to find out about ‘the most patriotic theme park in America’.

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Date
20020905

Time
10:13
Topping Blogdex today:

Are Weblogs Changing Our Culture?

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Date
20020905
Yet Another Lame Quiz
Time
10:15
Which revolution are you?

I’m of the hippy variety. Aware, unconventional and constantly twirling, twirling, twirling.

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Date
20020905
Flash Movies
Time
10:28
Thanks to Andy and Mich for pointing out this excellent collection of high quality Flash animations. Take my advice and save this link for lunchtime. If you visit now, you won’t get any work done this morning.

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Date
20020905

Time
10:46
Our eldest son Ben was a little bit naughty and had a go with Mummy’s weights last night. He said he was ‘trying to become strong’. He told me this through tears, because he had dropped one of the weights on his toe.

We were downstairs when it happened, and reacted as you might expect when we heard an almighty thump followed by a very loud scream.

Anyways, the toe is OK – and will stay attached, despite Ben’s worst fears – but as a result of the mishap, he was downstairs with us at around 8:00pm with an ice-pack on his foot.

Our viewing plans had to be changed, as if he started watching Lost In Space with us, there’d be no way he would get back to bed until it was over – so we opted instead for the relative safety of Trinny Woodall and Susannah Constantine’s little show on fashion disasters: ‘What Not To Wear’.

Some concerns have been raised over the language and references in the show, but me, I missed them. I think I was too busy trying not to gnaw my leg off.

Ben failed to notice the nasty bits, too. He was too busy laughing at the clothes.

When images of Sophie Wessex first appeared, he burst out saying:

“She’s trying to dress like the Queen’s Mum!”

And he was spot on. At least, according to Sue and Trinny – who closed the show by placing Sophie at No.2 on their worst-dressed list for dressing ‘too old’.

10 points for Benjamin the fashion critic.

Should I buy him a little suit and bow-tie now, do you think, or wait until his next birthday?

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Date
20020906

Time
09:53
More on Wednesday’s stort about the 11-year-old girl due to be fitted with a tracking microchip. A London electronics engineer is doing the rounds of just about every relevant authority in an effort to stop the op, claiming that ‘such an operation without medical basis on a child could constitute an assault’.

Good for him – and thanks to Pete for the heads-up.

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Date
20020906

Time
10:00
Daypop is still a mess, but Blogdex is back up and running well. Still, best three links so far this morning come direct from other bloggers.

From Firda we learn of this collection of cosmic myths.

From ultimateinsult.net comes a link to a collection of old television ads for computer games and some common street scams in Barcelona.

Oh, and you know those guys who normally sell speakers out of the back of white vans? I’ve heard from Londoners that they’re hawking fake Rolex watches these days. Be on your guard, and keep your bullshit detector on full. I’m talking to you, Tristán.

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Date
20020906

Time
10:10
An article in defence of the student who dared to ‘live the dream’ and shower with a porn star.

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Date
20020906

Time
10:12
True, some domain names have taken on a life of their own, but can you really sue one?

Erm, yes you can.

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Date
20020906

Time
10:17
A calendar of nude running events.

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Date
20020906

Time
10:18
Journalist asks: Why does everyone hate us all of a sudden?

Warning: the answer to this question is not as obvious as it may seem. Read the article.

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Date
20020906
It Had To Happen
Time
10:22
Playboy TV debuts broadcast version of nude news.

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Date
20020906

Time
13:02
Have you got what it takes to be a policeman/woman/person/thingie?

Very pretty, if a little heavy on the bandwidth.

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Date
20020906

Time
13:09
Are all rich people this stupid?

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Date
20020906

Time
13:54
Two teenagers find human brain in street.

Good, now they have one to share between them.

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Date
20020907

Time
16:42
The latest edition of Celebrity Bestiality has just gone live.

This month: Nigella Lawson and a lobster named Trevor. Enjoy.

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Date
20020909

Time
09:55
Saddam Hussein engages his trousers in chemical warfare.

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Date
20020909

Time
09:57
Blondes have rights, too.

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Date
20020909
NSFW
Time
09:57
Compare and contrast corner: A groupie guide to penis sizes of the stars.

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Date
20020909
Blogwatch
Time
10:00
Daypop 40 is still f**ked (doo dah, doo dah).

Topping Blogdex: Television celebrates its 75th birthday. The Internet, of course, has yet to be successfully toilet-trained.

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Date
20020909

Time
10:05
You’ve seen those rotten ‘Earn money from home!’ posters around, I’m sure. If you hate them as much as I do, perhaps you would care to join this group and help fight street spam.

Of course, the measures they suggest won’t help a lot – and you have to remember that, in this case, most of the spammers are victims, too. Tossers, but still victims. Most of this street spams results from attempts to make money through Herbalife. It’s one step down from Amway, in case you weren’t aware – and joining the programme costs money.

Me, I’m inclined instead to take the fight to the source. Step one would be to show as many people as possible how pointless the exercise is and how Herbalife makes the bulk of their dough from losers who think they can actually make money this way.

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Date
20020909

Time
10:19
Salon is collecting a series of ‘inappropriate’ comments made on September 11th.

Most of what I had to say was in uk.local.london and, happily, you can browse through these comments here.

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Date
20020910

Time
09:52
I have a lot to say about a certain anniversary, connected or otherwise, but there’s a lot of background noise to deal with (important, or otherwise).

As a regular reader, you have a choice about what I present tomorrow – those choices being:

1: Happy and not at all connected. All day, please.

2: Detached and factual, yet providing some insight. But throw a few laughs in, please.

3: Somewhat personal, explaining a fuck of a lot about what Bloggerheads has been doing lately (and what’s coming up next). Erm, please.

Feedback is the only thing that’s going to decide it. Feedback of the purest and most reliable form would be appreciated. Emails to the usual address.

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Date
20020910
Blogwatch
Time
09:55
The mystery behind Daypop is solved. The guy who runs it (yes, it is run by one guy – pretty surprising, huh?) is in Rome, and….

Oh, what the hell, he says it best on his own weblog:

“I just logged on to the Internet for the first time in about a week. No idea what happened to Daypop but I will not be back until the 13th of September to fix it!”

So there you go. Oh, don’t forget to check out the comments while you’re there.

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Date
20020910

Time
10:03
I read this morning in Metro that ‘more than £250,000 of hardcore pornography seized in police raids across north London have been buried during modernisation work at King’s Cross Tube station’.

(Note – article is at bottom of page.)

Basically, a bunch of DVDs were crushed and used as fill at the site – but I have a question about the value of the DVDs. The quantity is given as ‘nearly 1,000′ – but they say the haul is worth £250,000?

Hang on, let me do the sums. Hmm, about 1,000 into 250,000 – taking x as the value of y, carry the five… divide by 0… that’s over £250 per DVD!!!

It would want to be some pretty spicy porn at that price, let me tell you.

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Date
20020910

Time
10:20
Badger’s attempt to impersonate Pepe Le Pew ends badly.

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Date
20020910

Time
12:53
Nothing says class like a celebrity lookalike.

Nothing says ‘I am a grown-up’ more than buying Silly Putty in industrial quantities.

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Date
20020910
Christianity Watch
Time
14:39
When Mormons Call is a book designed to help Catholics resist the hard sell of any visiting Mormons – and keep your family and friends from converting, too.

‘Mormons claim that 70% of their recruits are ex-Catholics. With Isaiah’s help you can help cut that cult statistic and save your customer base at the same time.’

Great stuff – even if the Amazon reviews are a little dull.

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Date
20020910

Time
16:13
Taking the fun out of porn sure looks like fun.

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Date
20020911

Time
09:51
The votes came in thick and fast yesterday, and almost all were for the following approach on this wonderful sunny day:

2: Detached and factual, yet providing some insight. But throw a few laughs in, please.

So, today, we’re going to do what we always do. Stay calm, take a look around, and try to find some nuggets of useful information and maybe a few smiles amongst the details. Erm… and try to take over the world, of course.

Special thanks to everyone who took the time to send a real email, especially Y. Bee, who said:

Please just remember that real people died in a horrible way. Just please don’t say they deserved it or they had it coming or gloat about it.

That being said you actually made one of the few 9/11 comments that made the locals here(Manhattan) laugh. 9/11 jokes don’t go over real well here, but the crack on Bloggerheads when you were talking about the book “Where was God on 9/11″ and you said “Never mind God, where the hell was Superman” still gets laughs.

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Date
20020911

Time
10:03
Well, this was a good start to the day. Happy tokens all round for the folks at Total, who brightened my morning with the following tally (see right). Of course, this total wasn’t entirely the result of my purchasing decisions. You’ll note by the marked area on the receipt that the attendant has charged me twice for the same bottle of water – no doubt in order to bring this total into line with her satanic beliefs. Fiendishly clever, these Satan-worshipping gas station attendants.

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Date
20020911
Look It Up
Time
10:05
The dust clouds that engulfed NYC were chock-full of asbestos-y goodness – but you’ll notice we don’t read or hear much about that. Yet.

On the subject of white powder, George Bush’s niece Noelle Bush was recently found to be in possession of cocaine. The discovery was made by staff at the rehab centre she’s attending. You probably won’t read or hear much about that, either. George Junior tends to be quite picky about matters nasal.

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Date
20020911

Time
10:13
I’ve been asked – quite politely I might add – not to mention the date today. Hmm. Well, given that the date appears below every post, it’s going to be a bit hard to avoid. Sorry about that. Also, the following bears mentioning:

1. Just about every newspaper this morning carried the date as the headline. I kept looking in the top right-hand corner to see if I could find the lead feature or maybe even tomorrow’s lottery numbers in place of the date, but no dice. Bugger.

2. Time is nearly always represented as follows: hours/minutes/seconds. It makes sense, right? The date, in sensible countries, follows this same pattern, albeit backwards, and is shown in abbreviated form as day/month/year. Americans hold no truck with this, and insist that month/day/year is the preferred format. It’s bad enough that thousands of software packages (originating in the U.S.) present dates in this order and make it impossible to change the format, but what’s even worse is this most recent development. Using what is admittedly an unrivalled skill in marketing, the U.S. is using the tragedy of 11/9/02 (a date they consider to be 9/11/02) to further force this preferred format into the world arena by constantly referring to the incident/date as ‘911’. This also allows them to get further publicity for their version of the emergency number. Fiendishly clever, those Americans.

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Date
20020911

Time
10:15
Our friend and spammer Ronald Scelson was having fun this time last year. When entire websites were shutting down out of respect, Ronnie instead refused to bow down to the terrorists and continued doing what he does best. God bless him!

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Date
20020911

Time
10:22
Doing the swiftest of calculations, you can normally work out what is for you the minimum amount of change (or in some cases, notes) it’s worth bending over for. Me, I’m superstitious to a small degree – and penny-pinching to a large (with Coke, please). In short, due to a never-ending pursuit of luck, I bend over for every penny – and I found this one as a result yesterday afternoon.

I must admit that I made a couple of assumptions when I first studied it:

1: It’s the shape of an angel, so this is in no doubt the work of a Christian movement.

2. It’s a U.S. penny, so this is in no doubt the work of a particularly annoying Christian movement.

Ironically, it’s my less than charitable nature that leads me to further assume that these things are given out to the heathen needy in lieu of a genuine donation.

“Ah’m sorry, son, but ah don’t have any spare change. Instead, ah’m givin’ you something more valuable. This message of hope and lurrve.”

But what, you might ask, is this U.S. penny doing in the UK?

Again, we rely on the power of assumption; mine being that the distribution of such things is relatively safer in this country because white cider bottles over here are mostly made from plastic, and therefore not very efficient when it comes to facial slashing and/or the cracking of skulls.

Still, all of the above are merely assumptions. For the truth, we must look to Google. Updates to follow.

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Date
20020911

Time
10:25
Rejoice one and all, for Dogbomb lives!

Tch. I need money, too – but you don’t hear me whinging about it. Much.

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Date
20020911
Christianity Watch
Time
10:33
Is it appropriate for a Christian to own a cat?

It’s not just the pagan affiliations, there’s the small matter of disease as well. No, it’s true!

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Date
20020911

Time
11:02
If you’re wondering how best to express your feelings of rage and/or grief today, the official government-approved method is outlined below for your reference:

- Gather together with comrades (drinks/snacks optional).

- Focus on televised image of Evil One* (screaming/crying compulsory).

- Clench fists tightly.

- Raise arms above head in shape of the Holy Cross.

- Thrust fists/arms forward rhythmically, chanting ‘BB, BB, BB…’ in unison to the point of orgasmic frenzy.

- Return to work refreshed and alert.

(*Please note that this week the part of Osama bin Laden will be played by Saddam Hussein, but the war is – and always has been – against Middle Eastasia.)

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Date
20020911

Time
11:08
Sceptic and filmmaker Bart Sibrel approached Buzz Aldrin outside a Beverly Hills hotel on Tuesday and asked him to swear on a bible that he had actually set foot on the moon. Aldrin (allegedly) lamped him one.

A spokesman for the police department said that they were ‘investigating the alleged assault but that no arrests had been made or charges brought’.

Probably because all of the witnesses have come forward to claim that the entire event was staged.

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Date
20020911

Time
11:32
An article with the headline ‘Why do people hate the United States?’ just came and went with blinding speed over at Fark. Judging by the comments in the thread that prompted the removal, nobody’s in much of a mood for a flame war today.

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Date
20020911

Time
11:48
Three year old unwittingly makes serious point by mistaking McDonald’s arches for the number ‘3’.

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Date
20020911
Latest Viral Agent
Time
12:17
Bitch about ex-boyfriends/girlfriends and help promote the new film Swimfan in the process. There’s a love-rat in the film, so the creative link is there. Tenuous as it may be, it is there.

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Date
20020911

Time
12:30
Rate your hangover here.

Find the cure here.

Stagger back to reality and marvel at how pointless your life has become here.

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Date
20020911
NSFW
Time
13:10
Here you go, this’ll cheer you up: bikinikaratebabes.com

They can pump your nads and kick your ass.

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Date
20020911

Time
14:31
WTC: The Frank Sinatra Connection

(Links to Quicktime .MOV file)

A bit choppy, but you’ll get the point, I’m sure.

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Date
20020911

Time
14:37
Finally today, we close as we began and answer a nagging question for you.

Back to work, folks. Nothing more to see here.

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Date
20020912

Time
09:51
Oh, won’t somebody pleeeeeeease thinkofthechildren.co.uk?

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Date
20020912

Time
09:53
The Bush administration has dropped attempts to justify attacking Iraq by linking it to al Qaeda and other terrorist organizations. Instead, they’re going to claim that Saddam once sold George Snr. a donkey that was lame in one leg.

This seems as good a time as any to remind you that the acronym for ‘The War Against Terror’ is T.W.A.T.

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Date
20020912
119
Time
10:03
Out of all the pieces I read yesterday, I found the forbidden thoughts collected by Salon.com to be the most enlightening. I was so impressed by the collection (and the myriad of little truths they revealed about human nature) that I printed a copy out and have since shown it to a number of people at work, on the train, and back at home. I suggest you read the collection as well.

If it angers you in any way, then the reason for the publication of this material is given over at Scott Rosenberg’s blog.

If it tickles you at all, then you might also wish to spare a moment for The Cheesification of 9-11-02.

If you feel a little guilty afterwards, there’s always time to bring yourself back to a suitable level of angst and woe with some last-minute photos.

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Date
20020912

Time
10:26
A group of students in North Carolina turned up early for school (so far, so good) and decided to make use of the cafeteria’s ‘seldom-used video projection system’ by showing a film they had brought to school (showing community spirit and highlighting wasted resources – this is looking better and better).

Their main problem was the choice of entertainment – hardcore, hose-the-floor porn.



Up to 20 students viewed the tape, except for one who ran off to tell a ‘school administrator’. In other words, a janitor.

The tape was shut off and the culprits are in deep, deep water.

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Date
20020912
NSFW
Time
12:16
Many, many wonderful images come and go on the B3ta message board each and every day, but this one I just have to share with you.

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Date
20020912

Time
12:54
World peace: lend a hand.

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Date
20020912

Time
13:10
A two-headed turtle.

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Date
20020912

Time
13:11
An incredibly comprehensive collection of movie studio logos and intros. The MGM lion, the bint with the torch – they’re all in there. I was poking around these sorts of places because I wanted to build this —- –>

Oh, and while I was looking for sharks I happened across Triangle Divers, ‘New Englands only gay and lesbian SCUBA club’.

OK, I know to keep an ear out for that cello and bass ‘da-dum, da-dum’ tune when sharks are around – but what music do you think would play if you were about to be attacked by a scuba-diving lesbian?

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Date
20020912

Time
14:02
“It’s not easy being a butcher with tunnel vision!”

Is it meat or is it an accident?

Even lovelier with your speakers turned on.

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Date
20020912

Time
15:34
Man turns up to September 11 memorial service in Saddam Hussein mask.

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Date
20020913
Ignorance Is Strength
Time
09:52
I’ve been trying to avoid making too many cack-handed Nineteen Eighty-Four references, but this suggestion of a DNA database, this wonderful propaganda piece on a Floating Fortress (scroll down), combined with news that our chocolate ration is set to be reduced make it almost impossible to avoid. Sorry about that.

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Date
20020913

Time
10:05
Nelson Mandela says the United States of America is a threat to world peace.

Even more alarming, the chairman of Publicis, the world’s fourth-largest advertising group, has warned that a war in Iraq would wipe out the chance of an advertising recovery next year. Tragic.

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Date
20020913
Can Weblogs…?
Time
11:07
I’m an Australian living in England, but most of my readers are American.

No, I can’t work it out either – but it gives me pause for thought when considering the next project for Can Weblogs…?

What I originally had in mind wasn’t too far removed from what we did with Ronald Scelson, in that we were faced with a problem, and simply reached out to the source (well, one of them at least).

What you need to know first (if you don’t already) is that the rail system here in the UK is privatised. Different companies run different routes, and yet another owns and runs the rails themselves. The reason this system doesn’t work is that, in the end, there are too many people to pass the buck to and in the end, no-one is held ultimately responsible – even when the system fails to the point that people start dying. We complain to the companies, they mark it down in their books and register your complaint as part of a percentage and life goes on much as it has done before.

Me, I suffer every day under a company called South West Trains (which is owned by another company – Stagecoach).

In the past, I’ve taken my complaints right up to the Managing Director of South West Trains, but this isn’t the kind of fight I can win.

It has to be noted here that the MD of SWT, one Andrew Haines, is a good man in an impossible position. He not only has to deal with people like me, but staff who are under a similar level of pressure mostly attributable to the system being bled dry by the profiteers.

Ah, I bet you were wondering when I would drift back to the point.



In a nationalised system, if the system doesn’t work as efficiently as it could, the Minister of Transport is answerable. If the whole system starts falling apart, the Prime Minister himself must face the consequences of the inevitable public outcry.

Soon I got to wondering who, in this system, was at the top of the tree.

Brian Souter came to mind as a likely candidate, as he owns Stagecoach – one very large company that owns several of the smaller companies that make our lives a misery every day. He also happens to be a lovely person with a positive outlook and tolerant views. Look him up if you’re in any doubt about this.

By now you know where I’m going with this, and yes, I am suggesting that passengers, instead of wasting ink on the usual complaint forms, instead let Brian Souter know the full human cost of his profits. Not that the 6:15 arrived at 6:20 or that the floors were covered in grime, but exactly how his company has had an impact on their lives. In a deeply personal letter. Delivered by Royal Mail right to his front fucking door.

For this to work, I’d need distributors of action sheets across every relevant network, not just on my route – so the project goes beyond the scope of the usual ‘Can Weblogs…?’ experiment.

Also, most of you live in a different country and probably couldn’t care less about the miserable state of our choo-choos.

So, I’m accepting feedback, and this time around I’m even taking suggestions.

Other projects I have on the back-burner (that may well come to the fore if you think they’re a good idea) include:

Can Weblogs Reduce Street Spam?

Can Weblogs Get A Top-Ten Single?

Can Weblogs Revive The Boy Scout Movement?


and, as everybody else seems to be doing it:

Can Weblogs Raise A Few Bucks That I Can Waste On My Overdue Mortgage Payments?

Your ideas are also appreciated, so send them in too if you like. Emails to the usual address. Cheers all.

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Date
20020913

Time
14:26
I can tell just by looking at you that you’re dying to know who won the 2001 Marshall Scarecrow Festival.

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Date
20020913

Time
14:27
The B3ta Challenge this week is toys that may not be entirely safe for children. This section at Yesterdayland proved to be quite inspirational, and I also found a cool board game called Kosherland on my travels.

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Date
20020913

Time
14:30
The Simpsons meet Pulp Fiction.

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Date
20020913
Universal Church of the Interactive Network
Time
16:25
The original emoticon has been recovered.

Normally this would be marvellous news for the Universal Church of the Interactive Network, but – horror of horrors – the holiest of holies is in the hands of the agents of Satan.

Now I know how Eli felt when the Philistines made off with the ark of the covenant.

Hmm. Is a crusade to retrieve the first emoticon from the servers of Microsoft a bit over the top?

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Date
20020913

Time
16:42
Stagecoach has a fan club? Oh, now that is amusing.

Thank you, Sophie, for the heads-up.

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Date
20020915

Time
09:07
Oooooooh, me ‘ead…..








About Tim Ireland

Tim is the sole author of Bloggerheads.
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