01-14 December, 2002

Posted by Tim Ireland at 1 December 2002

Category: Uncategorized

This entry was posted on
Sunday, December 1st, 2002
at
8:42 am and is filed
under Uncategorized.

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Date
20021201

Time
08:42
He’s only 14, so I should cut him some slack.

(No. Can’t control myself, sorry.)

Is people this stupid all over big world?

BTW, I’m not entirely happy with Huntington Life Sciences myself. I also have a small problem with child molesters/murderers/managers, but the mobs that bay for their blood scare me. Same goes for some of these animal rights campaigners – especially those who campaign in the High Street with very upsetting posters showing all manner of mutilated animals.

Fine, the animals don’t deserve to be assaulted – but then, neither do my kids.

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Date
20021202
Riding High on Blogdex
Time
07:43
Good morning pop-pickers! With a prize-winning 60 links, it’s linkandthink.org at No. 1 – for reasons that should be obvious.

You’ll also notice a bunch of commercial links lurking at the bottom, because a bunch of weblogs have died and been taken over by LinkVista. I won’t bother doing a whole report on this one. You’ll just have to take my word for it, or read my report from last time.

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Date
20021202
Christianity Watch
Time
07:49
Look out Bibleman, there’s a new Christian superhero on the block. There’s a lot I could say about Armorman, but I feel this short cut-and-paste from the site says it all:

Q. What can we do to help you?

A.

1) Pray for us . Wisdom, ect…
(sic)

2) Pray more

Oh, it also goes on to request that I:

3) Share the web site with your e-mail friends and tell your youth leaders

Done and done.

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Date
20021202
OK, So I’m a Lego Geek
Time
07:59
OMG, it’s the Lego USS Enterprise. Don’t get too excited – it’s only the TNG version.

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Date
20021202

Time
08:06
I don’t know what you’re complaining about. Everybody does it. Erm, it’s just that not everybody takes it out, has a good look at it, then eats it.

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Date
20021202

Time
09:37
Here are the technical readouts of the Death Star battle station. You might want to study them for a weak spot. My advice would be to go for the main reactor – that always seems to work.

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Date
20021202

Time
11:12
We’re repeating this image today especially for all the folks who are dropping by via Google, desperate for information about the Posh/Becks rumour.

OK, here’s what you need to know:

1. It’s not true

2. See No. 1

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Date
20021202

Time
12:37
Mike Wiley is a self-confessed ‘Road Geek’. His website at ylekot.com includes many, many pictures of roads and road signs. BTW, ‘ylekot’ is not only his domain name, it’s also his personalised numberplate. What does it stand for? Well, Mike helpfully tells us that ‘if you say the individual letters (Y-L-E-K-O-T) you will phonetically say my nickname.’

You’ll work it out…

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Date
20021202

Time
15:46
And they’re still coming. Man, you should see the traffic stats showing people who are here purely for the Posh/Becks gossip.

‘Hello’ if this includes you, by the way.

Sorry, we don’t have that rumour published here any more (though there may be mention of it in the archive).

We do, however, have details of the latest rumour about Charlotte Church and one of Princess Anne’s bull terriers.

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Date
20021203

Time
09:26
More really bad comics, this time with a 119 flavour. She’s a top-heavy site, but the trailers are well worth viewing.

Oh, BTW, a a French author has claimed that the Sept. 11 attacks were faked ‘to promote a U.S. military agenda that included waging war in Afghanistan.’

He’s actually planning a a promotional tour in the States. Should be worth keeping tabs on.

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Date
20021203

Time
09:32
Do clowns scare you? You’re not alone.

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Date
20021203
Classics
Time
09:35
Legodeath.com hasn’t expanded much since we first blogged it, but it’s still worth revisiting.

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Date
20021203

Time
09:38
Several Australian kindergartens have banned Santa Claus this Christmas for fear that he may offend minority groups.

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Date
20021203

Time
09:40
Here’s a copy of that banned 2DTV ad we mentioned last Thursday.

(Links directly to MPG file. Link via ultimateinsult.net)

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Date
20021203

Time
09:42
This pen tablet pc link is mostly for my reference. You may as well ignore it.

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Date
20021203

Time
09:43
Wal-mart don’t like bare human breasts and think that blood is green. Do we need further proof that they’re a strange and mysterious cult linked to the shape-shifting aliens?

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Date
20021203

Time
09:45
Here’s the shortlist of Saddam Hussein’s favourite torture techniques and here’s the full report on crime and human rights abuses released by the Foreign & Commonwealth Office (PDF format).

This should win a few hearts and minds. Looks like we’re gearing up for the big one. Time to review a few security measures, methinks.

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Date
20021203

Time
09:50
Enjoy this list of Top Ten Rejected Jedi Force Powers.

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Date
20021203
Flash Games
Time
09:51
A very difficult ski jump game (via funjunkie.co.uk).

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Date
20021203

Time
09:53
The 3rd Annual 20 Worst People, Places, And Things On The Internet For 2002.

I failed to make the list again, but the shallow end of the pool that is Blogger.com does rate a mention.

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Date
20021203

Time
09:55
$165 million lottery winner still plays the lottery.

I’ve got to stop reporting stories like this one. It’s not healthy.

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Date
20021203

Time
09:58
And I thought Alan Funt was a bastard…

Fox takes reality TV to a new low.

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Date
20021203

Time
13:19
Hooray for the return of Daypop. We’ll just see how she holds up before we think about reinstatement on the nav bar.

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Date
20021203

Time
17:30
The developer of x-blog (one Adrian J. Frost) seems to have dropped off the face of the earth. Too bad, really, because I like his product and I’d like to keep using it – but I have a question or two that I’d like to ask first.

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Date
20021204
Riding High on Blogdex
Time
09:38
Oh, not much really. Just a little justified paranoia.

Oh, this is performing quite well, too:

You are under my power. Do not try to resist. Ignore the man behind the picture frame.

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Date
20021204

Time
09:42
A Californian company is selling tickets to heaven for $15 (plus a $4.95 shipping and handling fee). It took me a while (their SEO is really quite pathetic), but I eventually found their website so you could take the time to read the all-important disclaimer.

My advice? Don’t buy tickets from scalpers. Contact your local authorised House of God instead. All they want is your soul.

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Date
20021204

Time
09:47
Michael Jackson on crutches after being bitten by spider. Was it a rock spider by any chance?

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Date
20021204

Time
09:49
A group of Australia women plan to plan to break the drought by doing a naked rain dance. No cameras will be present.

Well, they won’t get far with that attitude.

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Date
20021204

Time
09:51
Here’s a nice little write-up on that Barbie weblog we mentioned last week. Hits the nail on the head.

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Date
20021204
Posh, Becks and Popbitch
Time
09:54
Hehehehe. I’m still laughing about it.

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Date
20021204

Time
09:58
Man fined $100,000 over snuff film website.

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Date
20021204

Time
10:00
This Engrish ‘Earth run by aliens’ site is jam-packed with paranoia and bad grammar.

This is far more lucid, but no less entertaining:

UFOs found in 15th century paintings.

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Date
20021204
Classifieds
Time
11:14
WANTED: Illustrator for children’s book. Must be able to draw bunnies, hamsters, and frightened humans. Emails to the usual address.

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Date
20021204

Time
13:41
It’s just gone live if you want to take a peek:

I’ve put all those ‘same’ images from Star Wars in the one place and I’m even working on more. No, you can’t stop me.

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Date
20021204

Time
13:54
Well, well, lookie here:

MAD magazine gets in on the Photoshopping/seeding game.

Quite a respectable effort, too. The credits are wonderful, and Spiro Agnew isn’t mentioned once.

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Date
20021204

Time
14:34
Man, this guy must really like Snoopy.

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Date
20021204

Time
16:40
Well, it’s that time of year again. Time to make your nominations for the Bloggies.

You know who to mention. Get to it. Erm, but don’t let me influence you or anything…

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Date
20021205

Time
08:18
Keep those troops coming, boys…

Mobsters smuggle sperm out of prison to impregnate their wives.

(I had a joke about chipmunks here, but it was too distasteful.)

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Date
20021205

Time
08:21
How Dickensian! Mum & Dad wanted to relax with a few drinks with friends, so they strapped the kids into their car seats and dumped them in front of a space heater in the attic. Did they cook to death? No, but the rats gave them a good seeing-to.

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Date
20021205
Flash Games
Time
08:25
We blogged this last year, but it’s still fun: Sober Santa.

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Date
20021205

Time
08:26
Michael Jackson tells upstart attorney to ‘go to hell.’

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Date
20021205

Time
08:29
A Dutch student has been busted at a Canadian airport with over 3,500 Viagra pills. At first he claimed they were for his own personal use. Some quick mental arithmetic followed before he decided that he actually had smuggled them in so he could give them away to strangers.

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Date
20021205

Time
08:32
Story. Of. The. Year.

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Date
20021205

Time
08:55
The U.S. military is using high school databases for recruitment purposes. Presumably they want to nab students before they reach college and become idealists.

On a similar note, Kids in Combat is a website from Good News Ministries that comes with a dire warning on the main entry page:

“Before you click on the spinning “R”, remember it is “R” RATED. You may have to ask permission from your parents. WHY? Because it is not for kids that are weak, wimpy and easily scared! It’s not for kids that fool around at church and just play games all the time.”

The ‘R’, by the way, stands for ‘radical’ (dude).

The sophistication of Christian recruitment methods never fails to amaze me.

They should just advertise the lifestyle of cocaine, porn and sex and be done with it.

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Date
20021205

Time
09:00
Amazing new cat door uses image recognition to stop dead animals being brought into the house. Calm down, it’s still in development.

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Date
20021205
Photoshopping
Time
10:20
The interim Star Wars gallery continues to expand.

No, I have no plans to stop just yet.

(Oh, if you don’t know who these two people are are, then do yourself a favour and discover the joys of Red Dwarf.)

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Date
20021205
Tony Blair’s Email: Deletion of the Hostages
Time
14:00
OK, folks. We’ve just shifted into high gear on the Tony Blair campaign. We heard from quite a few people wanting to take part in our proposed mass-deletion, so we’re having an auction to see who gets to push the button.

All proceeds go to Oxfam’s Ethiopia Appeal.

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Date
20021205
Photoshopping
Time
17:21
The Star Wars gallery has grown again. This one features the cast of ‘Ghost’. Don’t show it to your girlfriend, or you’ll find yourself hiring the video tonight, you mark my words.

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Date
20021205

Time
17:32
Bear mauls baby Jesus. Now there’s a headline!

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Date
20021206
Tony Blair’s Email: Deletion of the Hostages
Time
10:32
A busy day with little bloggage, as happens from time to time.

I do have a few moments to rattle out the following, though:

1. Ebay is has been down for scheduled maintenance this morning, and will remain down for at least another half-hour.

2. Thanks to the anonymous individual who emailed me a list of parliament email addresses. Yes, I know how the system works and that the standardised naming hierarchy makes it easy to work out what should be the address for Tony – but it’s the only one on the list that doesn’t work. All emails to this address are currently vaporised on arrival.

3. Kevin Marks has chipped in with a very good email-to-fax solution. It’s far from ideal, but I think I know just how to use this information for the greater good. I’ll get back to you.

Busy, busy, busy.

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Date
20021206

Time
14:48
I found this nifty Java game when looking for ‘Cheers’ pictures: Cliffie the Mailman.

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Date
20021206

Time
14:52
Wow, look at these, like, totally famous members of the Chi Omega Psi Kappa Chapter.

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Date
20021206

Time
17:04
Remember the fun we had a while ago with spam-king Ronald Scelson? Well, it looks like we may have started a very healthy trend.



Thanks to Rod for the heads-up.

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Date
20021207
Tony Blair’s Email: Deletion of the Hostages
Time
08:58
Bloody hell. You can even email Alexander Lukashenko, the President of the Republic of Belarus. This is getting ridiculous.

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Date
20021207

Time
09:07
Cool. Someone met Mustard Man in a class visit. This thread also contains comments from Mustard Man’s earliest adopter.

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Date
20021207

Time
16:49
Wal-Mart shows us the true meaning of Christmas.

Like Dr Frankenstein and his most famous creation, there’s a lot of confusion about Wal-Mart. Y’see, Wal-Mart isn’t a monster; Wal-Mart simply creates the monsters.

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Date
20021207

Time
16:53
Multidenominational absolution can be yours for the rock bottom price of two American dollars at payforyoursins.com!

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Date
20021208

Time
10:04
Are people really this stupid? Two more bright sparks, Kylie and Lucy, have left a message for Tony Blair in the ‘comments’ section of the campaign listing at the Weblog Action Centre. Kylie and Lucy have a problems with foreigners being let into the country, apparently ‘they are laughing at us!’

No, darlings, we are laughing at you.

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Date
20021208

Time
10:11
Suicide mistaken for performance art.

This would be a better story if it involved a mime. Not funnier… just better.

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Date
20021209

Time
08:32
How many times have I told you kids to stay out of my darn yard?

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Date
20021209

Time
08:34
Bombs hit cinemas in Bangladesh. Insert tasteless Madonna/Ritchie joke here.

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Date
20021209
Riding High on Blogdex
Time
08:36
Some guy has had too much of the WWJD? thing. The straw that broke the camel’s back was the question:

“What Would Jesus Drive?”

I don’t know for sure, but the answer to this question may lie in the greatest band name ever: God Drives A Galaxy.

Also charting well, some other chap is using Fed-ex’s delivery tracking to trace Santa’s actual location.

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Date
20021209

Time
08:42
Nobilis Software has laid off poor old Scott from ultimateinsult.net two weeks before Christmas – without notice and without a penny of severance pay.

Boo, hiss!

Reach out and touch a Scrooge. Send your letter of complaint today.

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Date
20021209

Time
08:49
Fatal shooting sparked by argument over last beer in fridge. There’s a XXXX ad in there somewhere…

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Date
20021209
Tony Blair’s Email: Deletion of the Hostages
Time
08:52
Well, the traffic is healthy at the main page, but I’m very disappointed with the actual bidding. C’mon guys, it’s for charideeeeeeeeeeeeeeee…

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Date
20021209

Time
09:16
Good news. Barbara has finally come to terms with her name.

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Date
20021209
Photoshopping
Time
15:58
The interim Star Wars gallery continues to grow unchecked. I cannot be stopped.

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Date
20021210

Time
09:08
Popdex. Looks like Blogdex. Tastes like chicken.

Oh, and another commercial link has topped the chart, this time because Tripod seems to have shoehorned this standard text link in under the compulsory banner.

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Date
20021210

Time
09:14
An intriguing technical problem. Send it to your admin and make his day.

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Date
20021210

Time
09:16
Baby takes radio station off the air.

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Date
20021210

Time
09:18
Man sentenced to 37 months for joke about ‘burning Bush.’ Dare I comment on lost perspective from a distance? OK, how about this..

Granny frisked at airport as part of terrorist search. The three men next to her (kitted out in militia-style camouflage, no less) where whisked straight through.

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Date
20021210

Time
09:25
TinkleToonz… the musical potty that makes toilet training your child fun. I can barely contain my excitement.

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Date
20021210

Time
09:27
It’s raining in Sydney and there’s more on the way. Hallelujah!

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Date
20021210
Classifieds
Time
09:32
WANTED: Professional Elvis Impersonator in London/Surrey area. Must posses own sense of humour.

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Date
20021210
Photoshopping
Time
11:11
Hey, how about that? Two Dicks for the price of one…

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Date
20021210

Time
12:36
Blogging the progress of a burgeoning beard.

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Date
20021210

Time
13:01
Volvo ‘humour’. The lights are on, but nobody’s home.

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Date
20021211
Flash Games
Time
08:28
Another game featuring Michael Jackson throwing babies. This one is awfully pretty.

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Date
20021211

Time
08:30
As The Ultimate Insult notes, the Memory Hole is well worth repeat visits. The U.S. government has been cleaning up references to Operation TIPS and unflattering images of Henry Kissinger, but the best example of Internet censorship this week is CNN spiking its own story about people complaining that it spikes stories.

Well, they do have limited server capacity, and obviously they needed to make room for this story about a dentist who climbed a tree to fix a protester’s molar.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20021211
Christianity Watch
Time
08:35
Upgrade to Jesus 1.0 (also available as Yeshua 1.0).

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20021211

Time
08:40
Dateline Uganda: Reward offered for capture of minor deity.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20021211

Time
08:41
Some rather brave students want Iran to move into the 21st century ‘with the rest of the world.’ The UK is no doubt lined up to go in after them.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20021211

Time
08:46
Woman shoots husband after finding porn video under their bed. It’s his own damn fault for using the most obvious hiding place in the world.

Factoid #1: People who hide porn under the bed are 67% more likely to use the word ‘password’ as their password.

Factoid #2: If you ever ask me around to your place, do not allow me upstairs, because the first thing I’ll do is peek under your mattress.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20021211

Time
08:52
Britney Spears has a Japanese stalker. Well, she does insist on wearing those school uniforms…

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20021211

Time
08:53
Cops bust another drive-through drug dealership. It was Burger King this time. Last time it was Wendy’s (if memory serves). There hasn’t been a bust at McDonalds because their staff are mostly from another planet and as such enjoy diplomatic immunity.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20021211
Videos, Etc.
Time
09:20
Never mind the foreplay, get to the stuffing! (Links to 4MB .WMV file.)

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20021211
Photoshopping
Time
10:43


A little bit of politics has just crept into page 3 of the Star Wars gallery.

(Oh, and here’s a large version of this pic just in case you feel like changing desktops today…)

You know, after I made my offer to help Downing St sort out the whole email problem, my stats clearly showed someone from their office going through this site with a fine tooth comb. They obviously decided I wasn’t trustworthy enough to take on this responsibility, as a refusal of my kind offer soon followed.

I wasn’t offended… until now, that is.

BTW, there’s only 26 hours left on the auction to delete Tony Blair’s email. Only one bid so far, too. Get your act together, people…

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20021211

Time
17:05
In a few days, Bloggerheads is going to celebrate its first year online. I’m thinking of knocking together a bit of a CD Annual to mark the occasion, and already have some bits and bobs made up – but if you want to request anything in particular on the CD (like your favourite image as a desktop or screensaver) then now is the time.

Oh, and I’m still looking for an Elvis impersonator in Surrey…

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20021212
Repeat Post
Time
08:51
In a couple of days, Bloggerheads is going to celebrate its first year online. I’m thinking of knocking together a bit of a CD Annual to mark the occasion, and already have some bits and bobs made up – but if you want to request anything in particular on the CD (like your favourite image as a desktop or screensaver) then now is the time.

Oh, and I’m still looking for an Elvis impersonator in Surrey…

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20021212

Time
08:52
Santa is dead! No, wait… Santa is Jewish! No, wait… Santa abuses children! No, wait…

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20021212
New From Google
Time
08:56
The most popular search words of 2002 (well, most of it, anyway) and a new Google gadget.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20021212

Time
09:00
4-year-old girl gives teacher $5 bag of marijuana. Now that’s a nice holiday gift for teacher. It might even help her to get through all those damn apples.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20021212
Flash Games
Time
09:03
Belter is exactly like Asteroids, but looks much, much prettier.

(link via ultimateinsult.net)

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20021212

Time
09:05
Developer plans to introduce charging system for spammers and telemarketers. Don’t hold your breath; the proposed program relies on the introduction of entirely new systems and protocols. Not likely. Besides, this still wouldn’t help much. The bulk of spam comes from recruited affiliates who decide to try it ‘just the once.’

This idea, as clever as it is, is like trying to catch fly posters in the act. This rarely solves the problem, but once local councils start fining the nightclubs, artists and record labels involved, well…

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20021212
Riding High on Blogdex
Time
09:16
America is experiencing techincal difficulties. Please stand by.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20021212

Time
09:17
There aren’t just naked people at clothesfree.com, there’s news that Robbie Williams performed tracks from the new Escapology album while naked and screensavers featuring people that run across your screen, erm, while naked and…

OK, so the site is full of naked people. Lots of them. They even link to a Nudist Casino (which appears to be just like any other online casino, you just take your pants off before you lose your shirt).

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20021212
Tony Blair’s Email: Deletion of the Hostages
Time
09:41
Only 4 hours to go on the auction to delete Tony Blair’s email. Bidding has finally taken off, and currently stands at £62. We’ll feed those starving kiddies yet…

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20021212

Time
12:44
The Star Wars gallery is just about to spill over onto a 4th page. This is the final image for Page 3.

His name is John Leslie, just in case you’re asking. Look him up by all means… erm, but don’t tell Michael that I told you to, he has a history of going straight for the balls.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20021212
Tony Blair’s Email: Deletion of the Hostages
Time
13:55
The auction is over and the right to delete over 8MB of Tony Blair’s email has been won for £62.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20021212
Flash Games
Time
18:23
I’ve just received word that Crackermatic 2 may not eventuate this Christmas. Instead, the clever chaps at the Dial Media Group have come up with Reindeer Training School. I don’t have time to test it out right now (I have to go and do the Daddy thing), but I’ll have a play with it tomorrow morning and let you know how I get on.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20021213

Time
07:30
Damn. Sudden illness strikes and I must attend. All I have for you right now is this collection of three bears. You need to be a citizen of the world to know who they all are.

BTW, Sooty not only digs being fisted all day long, he’s into amyl nitrate, too.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20021213

Time
11:11
Next time someone tells you to go to hell, feel free to use any one of these handy entrances.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20021213

Time
15:37
The best images from the Star Wars Photoshopping Project are now available as a random image screensaver.

Heh. Yeah, I thought you’d like that.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20021214
Worst. Spam. Ever.
Time
09:01
Did anyone else get this?

Hi

Its been proposted to me by a indian company few days ago for 100$ to make design, job; matrimonial penpal databases, chat, but finally he said is difficult mantain the thing, so he said can can do the web design, and i am not interested only on that, what about you?

I don’t want copyrigths things, that for make clear.

Thanks

Abdullatif

Oh, and the spam brigade have given up on trying to sell me a longer penis. The latest offers all seem to be about increased thickness. Next, I’m sure they’ll get onto the need for healthier, more lustrous pubic hair.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20021214

Time
14:49
Thank Dog for Popjustice. Without them, I wouldn’t have known that Fame Academy is finally over. Man, that show sucked up a lot of airtime (but I still managed to avoid seeing any of it).

The justintimberlake.co.uk story is also worth a read. Go look.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Date
20021214

Time
22:18
So, Johnny Vegas. Will the ruling be:

A – drunken outburst

B – comedy genius

or

C – desperate plea for attention

Well, it all depends on who his PR chap has been lunching with…








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