16-28 February, 2003

This entry was posted on
Sunday, February 16th, 2003
at
12:08 pm and is filed
under Uncategorized.

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Date
20030216
Impressions of the Anti-War March in London
Time
12:08


Practicalities

I went well-armed with supplies and not one, but 17 placards. There were a number of bottlenecks, most notably that U-turn they expected everybody to take at Embankment, that got you down to the river via a narrow set of stairs. Stupid. We headed two blocks north, 6 blocks west, and planned to join from there. As luck would have it, this put us pretty much right at the head of the march, so I was there to see the two marches from north and south meet. That was a highlight.

The General Mood

This was very much a march of the people, so there were lots of little people in prams and quite a few old people with walking sticks. Despite the extreme crowding in places, folks kept an eye out for each other and the mood was quite cordial and pleasant.

The Mood at Hyde Park

Whenever a speaker pointed out that nobody was listening to us or said ‘no’ to the war on Iraq, they got a resounding: ‘YEAAAAAAH!’

When the subject turned to Israel and the Palestinian victims, it was more like: ‘yeeeeeah…’

We can’t be blamed, really. The information required to become aware of and/or upset about this is mostly kept from us, but here’s an increasingly quoted factoid to start you off. (In fact, it was quoted in part at least once yesterday and caused quite a sensation on the ground as many, many people asked each other: ‘Wow, is that true?’)

Iraq has violated 12 UN resolutions. Israel has violated 68. Look it up.

Campaigns Within The Campaign

The street traders were out in force, with most of them flogging whistles and horns at about £1 a throw. Most people who bought the whistles found that the pea lost its pip about a mile down the road. Still, there’s not much you can do about this sort of thing. I could, however, make a small personal statement about the pamphleteers that plague such events. If you ran the gauntlet of political pushers at the gates of Hyde Park you may just have received a copy of the directives from The Universal Church of the Interactive Network. Yes, I actually went armed with a pile of these and handed them out with all the sincerity I could muster.

The Daily Bloody Mirror

The irony of their attempt to cash in on the ‘not in our name’ movement seems to have escaped the folks at The Daily Mirror, who provided thousands of highly branded placards for the day. The first action of most people who collected/inherited one of these banners was to fold down or tear off the top corners in order to remove the newspaper’s prominent logo.

Next Time

There were a large number of placards that were abandoned due to slight damage and/or a poor attempt to censor the branding or group affiliation displayed on it. If this situation arises again, I do believe I’ll go armed with some adhesive, a staple gun, and several sheets of A2 to bring said placards back to life with new, unbranded messages at a small recycling centre by the side of the road.

Beyond The March

I’m quite disturbed by the attempts (already) to dismiss this as a one-day wonder. A campaign of civil disobedience was suggested on the day, and I’m pretty much on the road to that now.

A lot of people complained on the march and at the rally that Tony Blair wasn’t listening to them.

I can relate. I receive his bloody email and he won’t even acknowledge me.

However, the email situation gives me a voice that I would otherwise be robbed of. (I work freelance, so going on strike isn’t quite an option for me.)

If Tony Blair thought I was a pain in the arse before, he’s going to be even less impressed with me from here on in.

Still, the feeling is pretty mutual as it stands. The move of throwing transparent spin to the public via Murdoch’s and Desmond’s papers was, I felt, beneath contempt – but Blair obviously saw it as his only bolt-hole.

A real leader would have made the tough decision. Taken the harder road. Even if it was only about politics, all Blair had to do to win the next election – and his place in history – was turn up to Hyde Park yesterday and do the right thing.

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Date
20030217

Time
09:14
Read the full transcript of Blair’s speech in Glasgow and then discover the fatal consequences of excessive masturbation.

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Date
20030217

Time
09:19
Google buys Pyra (the company behind Blogger.com).

Lycos doesn’t stand a chance.

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Date
20030217

Time
09:22
OK… you’re a news editor who works for Murdoch, so you can’t focus too much on the peace marches but – dammit – you need something to get people to buy the Sunday edition or Rupert will have your butt in a sling.

Solution: ‘Spice Girls To Reunite’

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Date
20030217

Time
09:28
This F-15 fighter jet flying low and looping around a smaller airplane wasn’t a response to a terrorist threat – it was just a flight instructor with the Oregon Air National Guard wanting to do a fly-by to impress his grandmother. The guy in the smaller plane was his uncle. He’s a state senator.

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Date
20030217

Time
09:35
Each and every one of Rupert Murdoch’s 175 newspapers is right behind the war on Iraq, come hell (see: Richard Desmond) or high water (see: Robert Maxwell).

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Date
20030217

Time
09:56
Hello to all of the wonderful people who’ve found Bloggerheads.com by searching for Tony Blair’s email address (there have been a lot of you since last Friday).

In case you haven’t seen it yet, this is the only way to email Tony Blair:

This link generates an email that, once delivered, will print out on Tony Blair’s fax machine.

While you’re here, I should probably also point out that Bloggerheads isn’t normally this political – we’re just warming up for some serious civil disobedience.

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Date
20030217
Tony Blair’s Email: The Letters
Time
11:35
—–Original Message—–

From : Julyane Xxxxx

To : tony-blair@prime-minister.co.uk

Date : 15 February 2003 02:18:42

Subject : Support from the USA

–> Dear Mr. Blair,

–> Thank you for standing with President Bush during this difficult time.

–> Please maintain your current stance and don’t let the anit-war demonstrators

–> deter you. 95% of all Americans are behind you and President Bush. Don’t be

–> misled by the Hollywood Wackos!

–> Sincerely,

–> Julayne Xxxxx

Dear Julayne,

You may be less than impressed to discover that Tony Blair’s email is currently under the control of the aforementioned Hollywood Wackos. Well, Wackos at least. I’d love to be a Hollywood Wacko, but I can’t get anybody interested in my script about a 30ft cybernetic teddy bear with the brain of a goldfish who finds love on the streets of New York city. Go figure.

Regards,

Tim Ireland

Born Again Peacemonger

http://www.bloggerheads.com/can_weblogs/tony_blair.asp

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Date
20030217

Time
11:37
Greenpeace has a new ‘no war’ blog.

There isn’t much there now, but you can change that by sending them your stories of protest action.

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Date
20030217

Time
15:04
Heh. I’ve been plagiarised.

My fault for not making a John Howard version of this picture in time for the march, I suppose.

Thanks to Graham for spotting this.

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Date
20030218
Riding High on Blogdex
Time
09:14
Everyone’s buzzing about Google’s purchase of Blogger.com

Here’s what The Guardian had to say about it and perhaps you can also find time to read an opinion piece by the developers of Movable Type. If all of this is too much information for you, then perhaps this short, sharp take by kottke.org is more your speed.

Oh, and topping the chart today is this Wired article about the Stupid Security Awards, a competition to discover the world’s most ‘pointless, intrusive, stupid and self-serving security measure.’

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Date
20030218

Time
09:22
Heh. And you thought I had problems with a certain Star Wars picture

Laura never quite got over her failed relationship with Dave (24 years ago, admittedly with some unresolved issues that came to head just over a decade ago). Now she paints naked pictures of Dave and publishes them on her website to work out her ‘rage and anger.’

Dave had better watch his back. This woman has been stewing in her own juices for far too long, and the paint fumes cannot be helping.

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Date
20030218

Time
09:31
Man falls to his death: dog arrested. What a stitch-up! The dog wasn’t even there when the man fell. All it did was bite him hard enough to see him end up in hospital – where he fell off the bed and died.

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Date
20030218

Time
09:36
Waitress in bird suit (allegedly) molested by customer. There are two sides to this story, but I’m of the opinion that any girl dressed up as a giant red robin is just asking for it.

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Date
20030218

Time
09:41
Hey kids! Breath easy with the Mickey Mouse Gas Mask.

(Yes, it’s real. No, it doesn’t make you speak in a funny voice. Link via The Ultimate Insult.)

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Date
20030218

Time
09:44
Dog bless The Weekly World News, everybody’s favourite supermarket tabloid:Man dials wrong number and talks to Osama Bin Laden.

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Date
20030218

Time
09:48
Here’s a treat for the 3am Girls and Dominic Moronhair:

The Random Celebrity Rumour Generator

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Date
20030218

Time
09:50
Clare Kimmerle is 79 and has worked at the same McDonald’s outlet for nearly 33 years. In all that time she has never flipped a burger or worked the drive-through (she serves from time to time bust mostly sticks to her specialty – fries). She has also never eaten a Big Mac. They’re ‘too filling,’ she said, no doubt with the manager looming over her shoulder.

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Date
20030218

Time
09:56
Why nerds are unpopular – an indepth study (of sorts).

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Date
20030218

Time
09:58
Over the weekend I quoted the following factoid:

Iraq has violated 12 UN resolutions. Israel has violated 68.

I then, quite foolishly, closed with the suggestion that you ‘look it up.’

ExpatEgghead did just that, and has attempted to bring things into perspective with this very detailed post. Well worth a read, but do take it with a grain of salt. ExpatEgghead lives in Israel, so is obviously part of the vast Zionist conspiracy.



UPDATE – It was via ExpatEgghead that I discovered this excellent pro-war blog. When, I wonder, will someone trot along with a blogging tool that allows weblogs to state their position on war with some funky web-ringesque and statistics tool? It can’t be too far away.

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Date
20030218
Tony Blair’s Email: The Letters
Time
11:01
—–Original Message—–

From : Diane Xxxxx

To : tony-blair@prime-minister.co.uk

Date : 17 February 2003 22:58:49

Subject : THANK YOU.

–> Thank you for your honour and grand courage.

–> Perhaps the phrase “No More Chamberlains“

–> could be of help to you!

–>

–>With gratitude,

–>Diane Xxxxx

–>Dearborn, Michigan USA

Dear Diane,

Saddam Hussein has invaded Poland? Why wasn’t I informed?!

I’ll get the communications team onto your slogan; we’ve already worked this little number up and plan to release it to the press soon:

http://www.bloggerheads.com/images/penisinourtime.gif

In the meantime, can you please do me a favour? Across the road from Dearborn Street station is this little place that does dry cleaning, and next to that is a place that sells ribs…

Tim Ireland

(on behalf of Tony Blair)

http://www.bloggerheads.com/can_weblogs/tony_blair.asp

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Date
20030218

Time
12:49
You’d almost think they were trying to scare us. What would you think if you went to the This Is London site and saw the headline 134 dead in Tube attack?

It has also been noticed by many that the withdrawal of the high-profile security teams at London airports pretty much coincided with the end of the London march.

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Date
20030218

Time
17:13
Hurrah – we have a potential spokesmodel.

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Date
20030219

Time
08:47
The CNN transcript of Hans Blix’s address to the UN Security Council was censored to remove passages that refuted Colin Powell’s ‘smoking gun’ presentation from earlier in the week.

Oh, and here’s some minor diddling of protestor figures for you to ponder on.

Important lesson to be learned: we cannot trust our leaders; we cannot trust our news providers.

As reasonable as this new ‘for the sake of humanity’ spin may seem, you have to remember that it is only the latest in a long line of shoddy justifications.

Finally, to prove that Bloggerheads respects the need for balanced reporting, we offer – complete and uncensored – the following selection of pro-war poetry.

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Date
20030219

Time
08:57
Saddam seems worried about a possible coup. Perhaps we should grease the wheels with an offer to oust Bush if the Iraqi people oust Saddam. All we need is a UN resolution and a team of election inspectors…

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Date
20030219

Time
09:00
When reality television goes wrong: Woman sues over alien homicide ‘prank’. We’re all laughing here, let me tell you.

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Date
20030219

Time
09:03
Do you want to hear some gossip about the Beckham punch-up? Do you really care?

Here’s the Popbitch take, just in case you do.

Me, I couldn’t give a rat’s arse. In fact, I’m pretty sure that this incident and the ‘Spice Girls to Reunite’ story were deliberated staged/concocted to keep the peace movement off the front page.

Could Victoria Beckham be in league with the shape-shifting aliens that secretly rule our lives? Remember, she is half-insect.

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Date
20030219

Time
09:10
Man detained for wearing a gas mask while driving. Patrols responded after being told to ‘look out for a white commercial van on Interstate 90 being driven by a man who appeared to be of Middle Eastern descent.’

How could they tell?

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Date
20030219

Time
09:14
Dogs can’t go in the snow. They’re not smart enough to write their own name, either.

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Date
20030219

Time
09:17
More on Google buying Blogger; this time from the BBC.

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Date
20030219

Time
09:18
Welcome to the Chicago Transit Authority, ladies. Get used to hearing the word ‘bitch.’

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Date
20030219

Time
09:20
Some wonderfully bad subtitles (link via The Ultimate Insult).

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Date
20030219

Time
09:53
Greetings once again to all of the new people who’ve found us while searching for Tony Blair’s email address.

As part of our developing program of civil disobedience, we offer you this email-to-fax link. Clicking on this link will generate an email that goes straight to Blair’s fax machine. Yes, it works – but use plain text and don’t mess about with attachments.

Enjoy.

UPDATE – Attention regulars! About 1/3 of the audience these days are new folks who’ve found us this way. What section of the site do you think I should bring to their attention so they stand the best chance of ‘getting’ Bloggerheads? Emails to the usual address.

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Date
20030219
Videos, Etc.
Time
12:17
Streaming media that kicks arse! Check out Discovery Channel’s interactive climb of Everest.

If this is too high-tech for you, then you might instead care to watch Star Wars in ASCII (that last one is an .EXE link).

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Date
20030219

Time
12:30
Well, waddya know? The Spice Girls story is nonsense. Still, it had us talking about a bigger threat than war for a few days.

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Date
20030219

Time
12:32
Ooh, my ears are burning

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Date
20030219

Time
15:56
A congestion charge game for suffering Londoners.

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Date
20030219
Tony Blair’s Email
Time
15:59
Tony Blair said in his press conference yesterday that: ‘Downing Street will be distributing to journalists emails and letters the prime minister says he has received from Iraqi exiles since his speech in Glasgow on Saturday.’

(Eduardo brought this to my attention, and I shall forever be in his debt.)

Perhaps Tony is referring to messages that arrived via this portal to his constituency address. Then again, perhaps these emails will be produced magically by the same department that gave us the most-recent ‘intelligence’ dossier.

Either way, he’s got a bloody nerve claiming to be listening on this front when he won’t even acknowledge little old me. I mean, I’ve only been reading his emails. And deleting them. And now answering them. And making rude pictures of his wife. Perhaps I should start answering emails by sending out rude pictures of his wife?

Hmm, I’ll have a think about that one. In the meantime, I have to email a few journalists and point out the gaping hole in this ridiculous statement.

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Date
20030219

Time
16:15
Yay! Pete Ashton spotted a ‘Kittens of Mass Destruction’ placard on the march and took this picture. James Caan also gets a special mention for describing Bloggerheads as a ‘Homosexual activist site.’

Heh. I have a notion to slap him silly.

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Date
20030220
Tony Blair’s Email: The Letter To Cherie
Time
01:16
I have what I consider to be a reliable email address for Cherie Blair. The following was sent to that address early this morning.

Dear Mrs Blair,

Please find attached an image of you that will take some explaining. I’ve been pretty open about my motivations throughout my campaign to reach your husband and get him to follow through on his promise of a publicly accessible email address, so you may wish to prepare yourself with the whole, sordid story before we go on:

http://www.bloggerheads.com/can_weblogs/

You also need to know that this email to you is being quoted word for word in my regular weblog. My readers need to know what the heck is going on, just as much as you do:

http://www.bloggerheads.com/

Thing is, I found myself looking at these images that I’d created of you and considering the reactions they got, when suddenly someone popped up yesterday calling Bloggerheads a ‘homosexual activist site.’ Some aside comment on a different message board had me thinking that an ideal act of civil disobedience would be to strive to turn you into a gay icon.

This is not the thinking of a sane and rational person.

So, I’d like to draw a line under the Blair Porn Project and call it quits right here. It’s not going anywhere constructive, so I don’t see the point in escalating activity on this front.

(Insert sincere apology to weblog regulars and Cherie fans here. Remember to send email to Mum to let her know that I may yet be redeemed.)

In fact, I’m of the increasing opinion that your husband doesn’t even know that I exist – which is why I’m writing to you today.

On Tuesday, your husband said he had read emails sent to him by members of the Iraqi public. Why would he do this if he knew that anybody subsequently searching for his email address in the top search directories (Google and Yahoo) would then bring up the Blair Porn Project?

I’m not out to be a pain in the arse; I just need a result. So does your husband.

I realise that he can’t spend time trawling through emails. I also acknowledge that even a well-staffed office will struggle under a large load of spam, rubbish and general system abuse – that’s why I outlined out a number of helpful preventative devices to combat such things:

http://www.bloggerheads.com/archives/2003/01/16-31-january-2003/

His office has refused to accept my offers of help, but I suspect this mostly has to do with them wanting to avoid yet another dodgy Australian. I’m pretty fine with that, so long as they don’t completely botch the job up or – even worse – farm it out at great expense to someone like Capita.

Mr Blair needs to be made aware that this issue has to be dealt with correctly as soon as possible – and that there are considerable benefits to enjoy if he does act quickly. A well-conceived system can provide a headcount of web users, what they’re concerned about and what position they take on any given issue. A daily printout of this could be taken in in seconds and – despite the small pool – is immediate enough to be useful.

Most importantly, can you think of a grander and more ‘right on’ measure to take at this time than the immediate introduction of publicly accessible email address?

However, it needs to be done now and it needs to be done properly to be useful to everyone. I would appreciate any help you could offer in getting word through to your husband.

Rest assured that any reply would be treated as privately as you wished it to. Indeed, you need not even reply. All I want is to hear from your husband’s communications office that everything is groovy and the service will be delivered on the XXth of Xxxxx.

My final word is an apology. I deeply regret that it has come to this and I am sorry for wanting – briefly – to turn you into a gay icon.

Good health to your and your family.

Kindest Regards,

Tim Ireland

www.bloggerheads.com

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Date
20030220
Tony Blair’s Email: The End Of The Blair Porn Project
Time
10:51
Ladies and gentlemen, we have received a positive reply from Cherie Blair. She is as gracious as she is fair.

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Date
20030220

Time
13:54
I’ve just called the Direct Communications Unit at Downing St, and yes, they’re still unable to provide me with a delivery date for Tony Blair’s publicly accessible email service. I am, however, hoping that this situation will change shortly.

Many of you have been asking about the exact contents of Cherie’s reply. I sadly must refer you to the following sentence from my original letter:

“Rest assured that any reply would be treated as privately as you wished it to.”

This is a significant breakthrough, and gentlemanly action is required to maintain this vital, yet fragile connection.

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Date
20030220
Announcement
Time
15:17
This is to let you know that most of the images from The Blair Porn Project will be removed from this site once we have been advised that Mr Blair has seen the campaign in full.

It is important that he know exactly what has been going on these past months and the measures that have been deemed necessary just to spur his Direct Communications Unit into action.

It is equally important that the lovely Cherie be rewarded for lending us her valuable time in aid of this campaign (particularly as some of it has been at her expense). She deserves to be treated in an equally humane and considerate fashion.

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Date
20030220

Time
18:33
I’ve been so busy, I almost forgot to blog this wonderful video rendition of Endless Love. It’s Quicktime format and just a smidgen over 4Mb, but well worth it. You’ll laugh, you’ll cry…

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Date
20030221

Time
09:28
Microsoft urged to innovate. Yeah, that’ll happen. FFS, they’ve only just now quietly released a blogging tool.

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Date
20030221

Time
09:33
Two lawsuits have been filed in the US ‘against movie theatres that claim in their ads they’ll show movies at a certain time, but, instead, show on-screen commercials at the advertised time, delaying the movie’s start.’

These people are talking about 3-4 minutes of their time.

I went to an Odeon cinema last night. The movie was billed to start at 8:55. It started at 9:30. That’s over half an hour of advertising and trailers, and pretty much par for the course.

Anyone up for a lawsuit in the UK?

I particularly want to stop the staff lying about how long the trailers are (they always say ‘about ten minutes,’ so I’m pretty sure they’re told to do so).

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Date
20030221

Time
09:40
Teenager who appeared in suicide prevention video commits suicide. He’s the fifth in his circle of friends to do so.

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Date
20030221

Time
09:44
Did you remember to tip the pizza delivery guy?

He needs that money, people. Motorcycle ‘L’ plates don’t come cheap!

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Date
20030221

Time
09:49
Hundreds of Utah Kids Hold Anti-Porn Rally. As over-the-top as this may seem, I’m going to shock you here and suggest that they may have a point. We’re bombarded with this stuff all the time. One day soon, TV ads for sex toys will appear in prime time and nobody will blink.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030221
Christianity Watch
Time
09:55
Do reformed smokers get on your nerves? Then for God’s sake, don’t visit Stephen Bennett Ministries. Steve is a ‘reformed homosexual.’ One day he’s in a happy relationship with a man, the next – BAM! – some asshat with a bible turns up on his doorstep. Now Steve travels around the country with his unique combination of gay-bashing and bible-bashing. Sell-out crowds across the country! Hooray for Steve!

Steve, you may not be gay anymore, but you’re still a cocksucker.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030221

Time
10:04
Do you want to know who’s for war and who’s against it?

No? Then you’ll love this.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030221

Time
10:08
Dull, but important to some: the rise of mobile blogging.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030221
Riding High on Blogdex
Time
10:09
Remember: Be ready! Stay nervous!

They’re all out to get you, so we have to bomb the crap out of them first. Did you get the duct tape? Make sure you buy lots and lots of duct tape. You can use it to gag the children when they start asking stupid questions like: ‘Daddy, is there really a link between Iraq and Al Qaeda?’

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030221

Time
10:14
Looking at my stats, I can see that just about everybody who visited yesterday morning came back to check on progress later in the day. Again and again and again.

Relax, people. We’ve waited umpteen months, so a few hours (or even a few days) won’t kill us. The moment I know, you’ll know.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030221
Feedback Friday
Time
17:43
I would love everyone’s opinion on this new development. Suggestions and requests are welcome.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030224

Time
09:14
Did you remember to buy your duct tape?

Were you aware that the primary manufacturer of duct tape in the US donated more than $100,000 to groups like the Republican National Committee? Heh. Nice.

OK, balanced reporting time, this time courtesy of Rupert Murdoch’s New York Post:

A rollicking exposé of Not In Our Name’s financial support network.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030224

Time
09:23
A very funny sideways look at ready.gov (go easy there, she’s a hefty download).

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030224

Time
09:25
Is hate-crime hurting your business? If so, you need the conflict prevention and resolution services of naziline.com

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030224

Time
09:29
Mouth-taping: student craze, child abuse or government conspiracy?

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030224

Time
09:31
More Google/Blogger paranoia.

Also, it was via a link from this comment thread at frownland.com that I discovered this woefully misinformed BBC article on the subject that uses the opportunity to – yet again – bring up the whole ‘bloggers aren’t journalists’ thing.

It was also via frownland.com that I found the related plasticbag.org thread where it was revealed that most of the BBC piece was lifted from the oft-blogged sour grapes site google-watch.org (I’m not linking to it, because they don’t deserve the traffic).

As you can see, what we write online is pretty much worthless until it has been copied and pasted by a trained journalist.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030224

Time
09:41
Discover the true measure of your determination (and/or desperation).

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030224

Time
09:42
A few words in defence of Michael Jackson from those who consider him to be a sex-god.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030224
Yet Another Lame Quiz
Time
09:44
What Number Are You? Apparently, I’m inifinity. (Damn, I was hoping for infinity plus one hundred…)

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030224

Time
09:46
The raised middle finger is an ancient gesture that is referenced as far back as ancient Greece. Interesting that ancient Greece also gave rise to the politician…

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030224

Time
09:50
There’s a point hidden in here somewhere…

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030224
Tony Blair’s Email: The End Of The Blair Porn Project?
Time
09:51
Cherie has yet to get back to about my kind offer to remove most of the images from The Blair Porn Project once I’m sure that Tony has read the whole, sordid story.

Yes, I am getting a little jumpy.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030224
Breaking The Whip
Time
11:33
You’ll be happy to know that MPs may actually get to vote this Wednesday on our involvement in hostilities in Iraq. For the record, this isn’t something that Tony Blair has to do. (If George W Bush wants to mobilise troops, he has to go to Congress. We don’t enjoy this little safety-valve here in the UK.)

Still, Tony Blair – to his credit – has decided that a vote of sorts will go forward. However, (and it’s a pretty big ‘however’) Labour MPs were advised of this with the following: “(On Wednesday) there is a 3 line whip on Labour MP’s to vote for a motion on Iraq.” This vote is to follow what will no doubt be a rousing statement by the PM on Tuesday.

A three line whip indicates to party MPs that they had better turn up and vote and – most importantly – vote in favour of their party. Or else. Basically, if you stay on message, you stay in the loop (and in the party). Break the whip, and you’ll be enjoying an extended holiday soaking up the rays in sunny Coventry.

Graham Allen, a longtime campaigner against the ‘royal prerogative’ that allows the UK government to mobilise troops without a vote in parliament, plans on voting against it if the motion is to commit British troops to war against Iraq.

He even wrote a private (well, semi-private) letter to the Chief Whip to point out – quite rightly, I feel – that:

“Parliament has been treated with contempt – another crowd control exercise rather than as a body which has at least as much legitimacy to speak for the people of our country as the Prime Minister has to govern it.”

Will Graham Allen be the only Labour MP to break ranks? I hope not.

Keep your ears out for the midday news items today and get in touch with your local MP. Now. Find out if they plan on listening to your voice or their master’s.

UPDATE – Alternatively, you may wish to take part in the Stop the War Coalition’s proposed lobby of Parliament on Wednesday. Details are on their site.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030224
Photoshopping
Time
13:13
This is my latest artwork, and I’d consider to be a good fit for today’s content. I call it ‘Last Push For Peace.’

If you like it, there’s a large desktop version here (1024 x 768 pixels, 60Kb).

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030224

Time
16:30
It has been pointed out by Matt B that Cherie has had a rather busy weekend. Fair enough.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030225
Tony Blair’s Email: Letters Special
Time
09:22
—– Original Message —–

From: “Kenneth”

To:

Sent: Wednesday, February 19, 2003 6:13 PM

Subject: No war on Irak.

–>

–> No war on Irak.

–> KS Sweden

Dear Kenneth,

We currently have no plans to wage war on Irak. We do, however, plan to bomb the shit out of Iraq, as they refuse to surrender their Q’s of mass destruction. The evil State of Qatar is next.

Regards,

Tim Ireland

(on behalf of Tony Blair)

http://www.bloggerheads.com/can_weblogs/tony_blair.asp

—– Original Message —–

From: Xxxxx@juno.com

To: romano.prodi@cec.eu.int ; ecu@un.org ; president@gov.ru ; bundeskanzler@bundeskanzler.de ; inguiries@un.org ; premier.ministre@cab.pm.gov.fr ; info@belgium.be ; pm@pm.gc.ca ; christopher.patten@cec.eu.int ; jack.straw@fco.co.gov.uk ; tony-blair@prime-minister.co.uk; etc. etc. etc.

Sent: Wednesday, February 19, 2003 9:36 PM

Subject: UK’s Daily Mirror


Dear Xxxx,

Rest assured that The Daily Mirror’s stance against the war is purely a marketing exercise meant to distinguish this tabloid rag from The Sun and to improve circulation.

Your forwarding contents from the paper to every man and his dog may at first seem like a good way to improve this on their behalf, but you must remember that the recipients of your email – and this is the important bit – have not paid for the newspaper.

Should you wish to do this again, I would advise that you first write a cheque to cover the purchase price of the newspaper (for each and every recipient) and send it to:

Piers Morgan

Hypocrite and Plagiarist

Daily Mirror

1 Canada Square

Canary Wharf

London E14 2BG

Regards,

Tim Ireland

(on behalf of Tony Blair)

http://www.bloggerheads.com/can_weblogs/tony_blair.asp

—– Original Message —–

From: “LUCKY SAVIMBI”

To:

Sent: Friday, February 21, 2003 3:48 AM

Subject: RE:LUCKY SAVIMBI

–>

–> My dear,

–>

–> Good day. I am Lucky Savimbi jnr, the one of the sons of Mr.Jonas Savimbi.

–> My father was the former Leader of Unita Rebel Movement in Angola, and was

–> killed in a millitary raid by our country’s ruling government army,on 22nd

–> february,2002. After my fathers death,our country’s governmnet immediately

–> seized my father’s properties and blocked his accounts. This has made life

–> very difficult for my family presently, as we live now with nothing and no

–> source of livelihood.

–>

–> The family is urgently in need of a “very competent and investor participant”

–> that we could entrust with the Certificate of Deposit and (PIN) Personal

–> Identification Number Code to help us remove the fund from the security

–> company” since no names were used in securing the vault. The sum of

–> Twenty-three Million and Six Hundred Thousand United States Dollars

–> (US$23.6m) which my father had deposited i! n two trunk boxes with a Finance

–> and Security Company in South Africa.


Dear Lucky,

This certainly sounds like an intriguing investment opportunity, but I feel I must refer the matter to Eddie over at the Bank of England. He has much more experience in these matters than I.

Regards,

Tim Ireland

(on behalf of Tony Blair)

http://www.bloggerheads.com/can_weblogs/tony_blair.asp

PS – The following news item may be of interest to you:

http://www.wired.com/news/culture/0,1284,57760,00.html

—– Original Message —–

From: DavidXxxxx@aol.com

To: tony-blair@prime-minister.co.uk

Sent: Friday, February 21, 2003 6:40 PM

Subject: Please Read

–>

–> Hello there.

–> I heard that today on the 21st Febuary 2003 that (we) are going to war

–> against iraq. I am 16 but 17 in may. does this mean that i will have to go

–> to war??? I totaly disagree in myself fighting against other people because

–> I have experienced with bullies & i have lost all my confidence.

–> Please can you reply

Dear David,

Rest assured that, while this war may well drag on long enough for you to be called up to fight the Iraqis, you have nothing to fear from them. I would, however, keep an eye out for American troops if I were you. ‘Friendly fire’ is a bitch.

Regards,

Tim Ireland

(on behalf of Tony Blair)

http://www.bloggerheads.com/can_weblogs/tony_blair.asp

—– Original Message —–

From: thinkingofyou123@hotmail.com

To: tony-blair@prime-minister.co.uk

Sent: Monday, February 24, 2003 8:50 AM

Subject: LOOK~ You need Extreme Colon Cleanser z vvjvb

–>

–> Cleanse your body the all-natural way …

–>

–> REMOVE DEADLY TOXINS

–> REMOVE PARASITES

–> PREVENT TOXICITY

Dear Thinkingofyou123,

Thank you very much for this useful information. Ironically, Tony Blair is unlikely to receive it, as he has his head planted firmly in his arse.

Regards,

Tim Ireland

(on behalf of Tony Blair)

http://www.bloggerheads.com/can_weblogs/tony_blair.asp

—– Original Message —–

From:

To:

Sent: Monday, February 24, 2003 7:27 PM

Subject: Fwd:

–> Good Evenning Sir,

–>

–> it is not to late, to say no !

–> Our time is enough inteligent to find solutions without War.

–> Try it, it is possible!

–>

–> Ask your youngest child, if you do not belive me! It is rearly true.

–>

–> Best regards

–> Jens

Dear Jens,

I did as you suggested, and asked my youngest child about this. The reply was as follows:

“Da-da-ga-sna-foooooooo!”

I think there’s a lesson in that for all of us.

Regards,

Tim Ireland

(on behalf of Tony Blair)

http://www.bloggerheads.com/can_weblogs/tony_blair.asp

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030225
Tony Blair’s Email: Letters Special
Time
11:35
—– Original Message —–

From: Pete Xxxxx

To: escom@parliament.uk ; tony-blair@prime-minister.co.uk ; clu@fco.gov.uk ; kay.sweet@fco.gov.uk ; paul.mowat@fco.gov.uk

Sent: Tuesday, February 25, 2003 10:22 AM

Subject: MP’s on-line

–> All the Senators, and governors, of the USA are on-line, as are the

–> members of parliament in the Canadian assembly, the same holds

–> for the French, and the Germans, and even those elected to the

–> Knesset. If the Uk Mp’s were on-line, people who through other

–> committments that cannot attend MP’s surgeries, would still have a

–> contact point that has an element of instant availability, which if used

–> in conjunction, with automatic acknowledgemnts would go further to

–> make the machinery of Whitehall operate at a pace.

–> With the forum that has been in operation, for Number Ten, there is

–> evidence, that many of the electorate, would be keen to take-up such an

–> option. The lack of access, currently, does not hold the Uk up to a good

–> light on the international scale, where any internet user, can find that this

–> access, that is on offer in other countries is not in the Uk. On top of anything

–> else, the Uk should not slip behind the French, and the Germans , in such a

–> technical area.

–> Thanx

–> Peter

Dear Peter,

I agree with your views, but must inform you that the current IT situation is far, far worse than you have been led to believe.

This email that you have sent to the PM is actually being answered by a man wearing nothing but a pair of trackydacks and a smile. We have a long way to go before we’re even three steps behind most other nations.

Regards,

Tim Ireland

(on behalf of Tony Blair)

http://www.bloggerheads.com/can_weblogs/tony_blair.asp

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030225

Time
12:54
Ahahahahahahahahahahahaha!

An 81-year-old Ohio man armed with two pistols was briefly detained in Israel and told police that he was on his way to Afghanistan in hopes of hunting down Osama bin Laden and claiming the $25 million bounty.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030225

Time
14:24
Well, Tony Blair has had his say. The immediate effect here was a spike in traffic as more and more web users sought out his non-existent email address.

Will there be a Labour Party rebellion?

That, boys and girls, is up to you.

Don’t watch it unfold in front of you. Get off your arse and act. Now.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030225

Time
22:58
Damn. Some unavoidable family stuff has just cropped up and must be dealt with tomorrow, so I won’t be able to make it to Westminster.

I know that my MP will do the responsible thing without me or others having to badger her into it, so there is that – but I can’t help feeling that I’m letting the side down.

I’ll try and be on deck as soon as I can tomorrow, but chances are it’s not going to be until late afternoon.

Cheers all.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030226

Time
17:04
There’s been a recent flurry of Data Protection registration scams. Here’s a page with the one link you really need and a list of scamming scumbags to watch out for.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030226

Time
17:09
The Iraqi debate in parliament, covered point by point.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030226
Useful In The Right Hands
Time
17:10
How to block spambots, ban spybots, and tell unwanted robots to go to hell.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030226

Time
17:13
Porn companies visiting universities on recruitment drives.

A pity they can’t also raid the occasional acting college.

I won’t provide a direct hyperlink to this next one, as it really is NSFW (Not Safe For Work):

Ron Jeremy is on a recruiting drive (to find ‘the next Ron Jeremy’) at www.pornstudsearch.com

No, you don’t have to be a fat, hairy bastard to apply.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030226

Time
17:24
Mail thief gets two months in prison. Oh, he also has to spend a total of 100 hours outside a post office with a sign reading: “I have stolen mail. This is my punishment.”

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030226

Time
17:28
Y’see, this is why I don’t enable comments on my site.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030226

Time
17:33
Explicit advertising has finally reached that inevitable watershed moment where porn stars are hired as models. Not as spokemodels, you’ll note. ‘Uh-uh-uh-ugnnnnnnh!’ doesn’t really sell cornflakes. Oh, wait, I’m forgetting about a very successful series of shampoo commercials. Maybe there is room for ‘snap, crackle and popshot.’

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030226

Time
17:43
America’s latest weapon in the drive for maximum density.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030226

Time
17:44
Steve wants me to link to his online referendum on Iraq. Be careful what you wish for, Steve…

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030226

Time
17:48
Damn. I published a short article on Monday, but forgot to blog it. Yes, the link has been up there at the top of the page this whole time, but most of you won’t see it until I do this:

Established Media: the Necessity of Arrogance and Ignorance

I don’t really see why this is necessary, but it is.

In fact, while we’re here, I may as well give this a go:

Buy a shirt!

Buy a shirt!

Buy a shirt!

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030226
Tony Blair’s Email: The Letters
Time
18:08
—– Original Message —–

From: Jill

To: tony-blair@prime-minister.co.uk

Sent: Wednesday, February 26, 2003 10:52 AM

Subject: View from Australia

–> Mr Blair, as a Brit who has lived here for 44 years, I am very unhappy

–> about your stance on the Iraq war and your support for the US.


(snip)

Dear Jill,

You haven’t lived here for 44 years, so what makes you think you can step in now and start bossing people around?

Do I email John Howard and advise him to finally cough up for the elevator shoes and plastic surgery he so desperately needs? No, I don’t. I’d love to be able to tell him that he looks like he just fell off the Mr Sheen can, but it simply isn’t my place to do so.

Yours Churlishly,

Tim Ireland

(on behalf of Tony Blair)

http://www.bloggerheads.com/can_weblogs/tony_blair.asp

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030226

Time
20:07
The results are in.

The hawks did their best to soothe the doves by assuring them that this wasn’t the be-all, end-all of votes. The doves took a lesson from us lowly pigeons and shat on the hawks in great numbers, casting an impressive 199 votes on an amendment proposing that the government hadn’t made the case for war.

Defeated or not, this amendment made a powerful statement. This figure – as far as I can tell – suggests that about 30% of Labour MPs told their own leader that they weren’t in his corner.

Tony Blair can still win this and make a good case for regime change in Iraq (if, of course, this is still his main justification for war this time next week). He can even win over France, Russia and Germany if he wants. All he has to do is propose that regime change by force goes ahead, on the condition that it happens with the full backing of the UN and without the involvement of the Bush’s administration.

Of course, it’ll never happen… but it’s nice to have a dream.

Hey, somebody told me that Tony turns 50 soon. Perhaps we should all let him know that it’s nothing personal and throw him a birthday party outside the gates of Downing St. We can have cake and ice cream and party hats and balloons…

What do you think?

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030226

Time
20:22
Don’t look at Ross Brown’s blog. It’s rubbish.

Don’t read Paul’s ‘Letters To America’, either. It’s far too wordy and not at all clever.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030227

Time
10:20
Heh. Someone found this site yesterday by searching for ‘directory of prostitute girl and there mobile number and address from u.k.’

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030227

Time
10:21
“According to a recent Gallup poll, 45 percent of Americans think the media is biased toward liberals.”

!!!!!

Hooray for The Wage Slave Journal and their George W. Bush Scorecard of Evil.

(Found via Expat Egghead.)

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030227
Tony Blair’s Email: The Letters
Time
10:26
—– Original Message —–

From: Don Law

To: tony-blair@prime-minister.co.uk

Sent: Thursday, February 27, 2003 2:08 AM

Subject: Tony Blair I think your great

–> This is support for Tony Blair and Margaret Thatcher. As an American and a

–> LAW and my wife a YORK before I married her I wish to express my views.

–> Since I have traveled the Middle East many times and this Iraq problem with

–> everybody has been express in Fear of War. The only way you can put out a

–> dictator is WAR. The other dictator was Hitler and what he did and if we

–> didn’t stop him through WAR we all would be under Hitler.

–> I want to say the only time in my life that I had to take off my hat in

–> miss belief was when M. Thatcher took on the Falkland Island. I am 68 years

–> old and have fought 2 wars and England has in the past always sat back to

–> not make waves. When Thather did what she did I jumped up as a long time

–> Englishman and got out the English Flag. It was almost unbelievable that

–> someone would get out of their chair and fight for England. Well the next

–> time I got out the English Flag was when I heard Tony Blair speech. These

–> two people have guts and I would stand back of them in any fight. Here in

–> the USA we have a lot of worms also which don’t want to fight. All I can

–> say where is the English Knights as in the old days. Have all the balance

–> of England gone soft. By the way I have some Scotch in me and they were the

–> McClarions or Highlanders. The shield shows a fighting Cock with swords.

–> Now that I have said my piece I hope the world will come to its senses and

–> fight and remove this poison in Iraq. I know that war has its bloody side

–> but it also has its good side and people become FREE. Dr. Donald Lewis Law

–> PS the Lewis is another part of my family tree John L. Lewis was also my

–> uncle a Welshman and carried two 45s.

Dear Don,

I am pleased that you have some Scotch in you.

Regards,

Tim Ireland

(on behalf of Tony Blair)

http://www.bloggerheads.com/can_weblogs/tony_blair.asp

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030227

Time
10:32
Wouldn’t it be wonderful if Dubya and Saddam actually had a live televised debate?

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030227

Time
10:55
Mr Rogers is dead.



UPDATE – Read the many, many, many tributes rolling in over at Fark.com

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Date
20030227

Time
11:02
Student testifies against police officer. He claims that the cop ‘gave him wedgies, grabbed his penis and forced him to do a naked headstand in his office.’

The kid finally contacted authorities when the officer made him pull down his pants for a spanking.

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Date
20030227

Time
11:21
Brains. Braaaaaaaaaaaaaaains!

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Date
20030227

Time
11:43
Australian MP ejected for breastfeeding. Well, not really for breastfeeding. She was busted for bringing a non-elected person into the debating chamber.

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Date
20030227

Time
13:19
The Porn Report has just edged into Google’s top ten results for ‘make money selling porn.’ Traffic is brisk.

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Date
20030227

Time
14:02
It’s a cocks-in-court twofer! This man was cleared of sex charges because his penis was much smaller than described by the victim, and this man is claiming that his is way too short to have reached the victim.

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Date
20030228

Time
08:52
The Washington Post defends its pro-war stance. It’s all a bit of yawn. Try instead watching Americans having their say in real time. Probably best if you set aside some time for the latter link – it’s kind of hypnotic.

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Date
20030228

Time
08:56
Watch Bush say one thing and do another, again and again and again. Right now he’s rabbiting on about his love for peace. You do the sums.

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Date
20030228

Time
08:58
False job postings at monster.com are designed to harvest personal information. If it sounds too good to be true, then it probably is.

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Date
20030228

Time
09:01
Playboy to publish ‘Women of Starbucks’ issue.

“Starbucks is not affiliated with this project and does not endorse it,” the company said in a terse statement.

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Date
20030228

Time
09:03
Man spots his stolen skis for sale on ebay. He called police, who set up a sting operation.

Also for sale on ebay today: Brad Pitt’s fart in a jar.

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Date
20030228

Time
09:06
See a satellite photo of London by night. I’ve made a minor change to my copy, just to let you know where I am in case the bombs start dropping.

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Date
20030228

Time
09:10
Saddam isn’t just a bastard; he’s a rich bastard.

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Date
20030228
South West Trains
Time
09:14
I wrote this article after a run-in with South West Trains. (A quiet warning to other companies that might wish to fob me off or rip me off – I can be your best customer, or your worst one.)

A reader of the article has sent the following in. I thought you chaps might like to read it:

“I’ve just read your article regarding South West Trains. You’ll be pleased to note that they’re still at it. I was imprisoned on one of their wonderful trains for an hour and ten minutes just outside Feltham, which isn’t the greatest place in the world to be stuck. For this pleasure, plus the further waste of my time getting to a station where I could get off and return home since by this time my journey was effectively wasted, they awarded me a generous 25% of my ticket cost. This amounted to the princely sum of £2.50, or £5.00 if you count the refund for my girlfriend’s ticket. Their excuse for not giving me a full refund was that it would be a free journey, and that would cancel my contract with them. Not only is this legally rubbish, surely a journey is only ‘free’ if it’s something you desire? I’m sure none of the people press ganged onto ships in previous centuries ever considered their journeys to be free. Interestingly, if they’d managed to tell me that there would be a delay, bearing in mind that the delay only started five minutes from my departure point, and I’d elected not to travel, I would have been entitled to a full refund.

“Thank you for the opportunity to rant. Suffice it to say that I shall not be leaving it there…”

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Date
20030228

Time
09:19
Ready.gov breathes new life into ‘All Your Base.’

(Link via ultimateinsult.net)

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Date
20030228
Navigation Bar
Time
09:30
Exploding Cigar has been added to the navbar under ‘follow me’ (which – in case you haven’t worked it out yet – is a list of sites that I visit on a daily basis).

Their lead link today is a cracker:

The experience of a single anti-war protestor in a pro-Bush crowd. Scary stuff.

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Date
20030228
Tony Blair’s Email: The Letters
Time
09:57
—– Original Message —–

From: “Harish”

To: tony-blair@prime-minister.co.uk

Sent: Thursday, February 27, 2003 8:12 PM

Subject: Sir

–>

–> I was browsing my song files and a lyric in your favour jumped out at me.

–> It’s by Elton John:

–>

–> “A man like me is dead in places

–> Other men feel lib-er-ated”

–>

–> Cheers Tony.

–>

–> Harish

–> USA

Dear Harish,

I prefer:

“Saddam is travelling tonight on a plane

I plan to bring him down with support from the States and from Spain

Oh and I see a passenger waving goodbye

God I hope that it’s Saddam, our intel came from the FBI…”

Regards,

Tim Ireland

(on behalf of Tony Blair)

http://www.bloggerheads.com/can_weblogs/tony_blair.asp

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Date
20030228
Feedback Friday
Time
17:26

Is Bloggerheads getting too political?

1. Yes!

2. Yes, but circumstances call for it.

3. No, the mix is just right.

4. No, in fact you should be doing more!

Emails to the usual address. See you Monday.








About Tim Ireland

Tim is the sole author of Bloggerheads.
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