This entry was posted on
Tuesday, July 26th, 2005 at
5:51 pm and is filed
under The War on Stupid.
ICIGSITBOTH – In Case I Get Shot In The Back Of The Head
Eight out of ten people aren’t carrying information that would help if they were accidentally or mistakenly shot in the back of the head. Storing next-of-kin details in your mobile phone can assist the emergency services if you’re unable to tell them who to contact because your brains are spilled all over a railway platform.
How does it work?
Simply use your mobile’s phone book to store the name and number of someone who should be contacted if you happen to be shot in the back of the head – but add the letters ICIGSITBOTH in front of their name.
ICIGSITBOTH stands for “In Case I Get Shot In The Back Of The Head”: it’s what the emergency services will look for if you’re somewhat dark in colour, happen to be wearing a heavy jacket on a sunny day and/or fail to stop when plain-clothed men holding automatic weapons chase you down the street. This incredibly straightforward idea was developed by the Gnus Of The World and is supported by Bloggerheads.
On most mobile phones you simply need to select “Contacts” and choose “Add New Contact”, then enter the letters “ICIGSITBOTH” next to the name, followed by the telephone number of your next of kin. Make sure you choose a number that’s easy to get in touch with – and please make sure that you choose a friend or family member with a good imagination and strong stomach, as they will no doubt be called upon to identify you at the morgue.
What should I do next?
Make sure the person whose name and number you are giving has agreed to be your “ICIGSITBOTH partner”. You should also make sure your ICIGSITBOTH partner has a list of people to contact on your behalf, such as your place of work (as you probably won’t be in on Monday). In addition, they’ll need to know about any medical conditions that could complicate your condition, including allergies, medication or the absence of titanium plates in your skull.
If you’re under 18, your ICIGSITBOTH partner should be your mother, your father or an immediate member of your family authorised to make decisions on your behalf when you are no longer able to think for yourself due to a sudden interruption in brain function.
If you wish, you can also store details of your immigration status in your mobile phone and direct that these be forwarded to Richard Littlejohn so he can stick the boot in a few days after your unfortunate departure. After all, you have to be guilty of *something*…
Storing an ICIGSITBOTH number makes it easier for everyone if you’re involved in getting shot in the back of the head. It only takes a few seconds, so do it today – please.
Please note that this initiative is in no way linked to any of the following equally worthwhile initiatives:
ICIFTSFEWAAC – In Case I Fail To Stop Fast Enough When Approaching A Checkpoint
ICITWTM – In Case I’m Too Weak To Move
ICIGWOBN – In Case I Get Wiped Out By Napalm
ICIHTDWMG – In Case I Happen To Disagree With My Government
YBMUYB – You Blew Me Up You Bastard
ICTBCOMBTCTMHG – In Case Tony Blair Crawls Over My Body To Claim The Moral High Ground