This entry was posted on
Thursday, September 15th, 2005 at
9:04 am and is filed
under The Reality-Based Community.
1. Whenever you walk past someone buying, holding or reading a copy of the Sun newspaper, say the following word under your breath: “wanker”
2. The prime whisper zone is anywhere just behind the target as you are passing by or walking in the opposite direction
3. Do not stop, do not falter in your stride, do not respond to any reaction/query that may result (after all, the last thing you expect is to be accosted by people who are hearing voices in their head)
4. For readers of the Daily Mail or Express, you may choose a fruitier word; perhaps one relating to an intimate aspect of the human anatomy
5. If you’re really in an unforgiving mood, try this on any newly-empowered law enforcement officer: “shoot me”
6. That is all.
I’ll see you in a month. Be good. Be careful.
(Oh, one more thing… Anne Milton for shadow cabinet! Parliament needs a nurse. Preferably one clad in rubber and carrying a 10 litre bucket of lubricant.)