1. Both the Sun and the Mirror have gone with the inspired headline; ‘Careless Spliffer’… clearly this has something to do with the phenomena of Simultaneous Discovery.
2. Tabloid editors never take drugs. Never ever ever. And if they did, they would almost certainly use them responsibly. They would not, for instance, go on a violent coked-up rampage in London.
3. Murdoch’s paper’s in particular do not have an axe to grind: His 2002 single Shoot The Dog – with a slur about the 9/11 atrocity – sickened many fans. It portrayed Tony Blair as George Bush’s yapping poodle and the two leading statesmen as gay lovers.
4. Disappointingly, today’s Page 3 girl doesn’t spare so much as a single ‘tut’ for George. Instead, Krystle (23, from Manchester) backs new school discipline measures and says: “It’s great parents are to be hauled in for detention. Discipline shouldn’t just be up to teachers.”
Or the police, for that matter. No, for true justice we must turn to the tabloids.