Glad some bugger does.
But then I'd only miss it if I left.

There's lots to love, Sim-O... and you're right. It's made up of little things you often don't realise are there until they're suddenly not any more. Let's just take the single issue of climate into account:

Hottest day in the UK since records began: 38.1°C
When I was a kid they promised* to let the schools out when the outside temperature reached 40°C

(*but rarely if ever did)

For most of the year, you can get cold water from the tap here. Trust me; this is a significant luxury.

Have you ever tried to sleep when it's above 30°C? Happens for days/weeks on end in Sydney. Don't get me started about blackouts when this happens.

Sunscreen is horrible sitcky stuff and I do not appreciate there being 3 months of the year when you absolutely have to wear this (and a hat and a long-sleeved shirt) from about 9 in the morning until late in the afternoon.

It is impossible to enjoy a proper Christmas lunch/supper during summer.

I'd really love to go to Austriala but one thing (well two really) that puts me off is the amount of people who come back from 3 weeks in the sun and act as if it's the best place on earth. I know it has some amazing geography, some great places, but surely it isn't *that* good that my mate has to mention his travels round oz as part of every fucking conversation?

"I'm thinking about converting the garge"....."ohh when I was in Sydney...."...agggggggggggghhhh

Also the flight, I'm not going till I can get there in less time than it takes me to eat a kit kat and watch whatever dross they're passing as the inflight movie.

If you try to eat the wafers first, you can make a Kit Kat last a whole day. More if there's turbulence.

And yes, visitors to Australia (who, typically, rarely get further than Sydney) can be as annoying as ex-smokers and the recently engaged.

Every. Sodding. Conversation.

I saw a documentary about the 10 most dangerous animals in the world.
I think 7 are in Australia.

We watched it wondering how the Australian tourist board let it go out without a fight.

BDG: no-one mentions the flies, apparently. A friend recently came back and said it was not too dissimilar to Britain except f***ing hot and choc full of flies.

I much prefer those Aussies that make the UK their home;

Rolf Harris
Kylie
Manic
Rupert Mur....never mind!

Sim-O: Tell me about it! Poisonous/venomous creatures are lurking in every nook and cranny on land (never mind the threat of bushfires, floods, and floods that put out bushfires). If you try to retreat seawards, you're faced with sharks, the particularly nasty blue-ringed octopus, and the spineless-but-lethal box jellyfish.

The population pattern of Australia (with the majority of occupants clinging hopefully to a narrow band along the coast) has in the past been unkindly compared with scum washed up on shore...
http://www.environment.gov.au/soe/2006/publications/drs/images/09/human_settlements/medium/hs05pop_growth_dist-map1.gif

... but if you take the evidence collectively and consider carefully how harshly this ancient and evil continent treats its recent arrivals, then the message should be pretty clear; Australia, quite simply, wants us all to Fuck. Off.

bigdaddymerk: Read the above and decide for yourself if I'm a monster or a refugee.

;oP