Tim Ireland

Tim is the sole author of Bloggerheads.

Homepage: http://www.bloggerheads.com/


Posts by Tim Ireland

16-29 August, 2003

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Date
20030816

Time
13:27
Independent poll shows 25% of voters in favour of Lt. Gov. Cruz M. Bustamante. Arnie follows close behind at 22%. Poor old Gary Coleman doesn’t even appear to rate a single digit.

BTW, all the short-cuts made to bring this ridiculous recall in under budget have finally elicited a response from the folks who are supposed to authorise such changes to the voting system. Apparently they may act.

Altogether now: Ooooooooh!

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Date
20030816

Time
15:50
Bye-bye Idi Amin. I’m sure that history will forgive you.

You were, after all, merely a harmless buffoon who liked to play soldiers… right?

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Date
20030818
It’s War! And Things Is Getting Ridiculous!
Time
09:21
US unveils new secret weapon – photoshopping!

1. Using photoshopping for political ends? Damn, wish I’d thought of that. Devilishly clever, the U.S. Army.

2. I do hope that said army plans to seek the permission of the creators of these images before using them on the streets of Iraq.

3. I do hope that The Guardian sought of the permission creators of these images before using them on their front page.

4. I can’t help but wonder what would happen if an Iraqi citizen chose to put up posters of George Bush with breasts.

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Date
20030818

Time
09:26
US troops shoot Reuters cameraman in Iraq. They mistook his camera for a rocket propelled grenade launcher. Easy mistake to make.

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Date
20030818

Time
09:28
Hanging Day on the possibility of U.N. reform. Read, learn and laugh out loud.

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Date
20030818

Time
09:31
Dale and his readers ponder the significance of the Universal Church of the Interactive Network.

Note to self: find out who this Lain fella is.

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Date
20030818

Time
09:33
The beginner’s guide to Sumo wrestling (link via TTR2).

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Date
20030818

Time
09:35
Homeless woman incarcerated for stealing a shopping cart. She spent a week in the cells before a journalist pointed out the obvious.

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Date
20030818
The Big Blackout
Time
09:38
Power outage traced to dim bulb in the White House. Deregulation strikes again.

Also, see John Wehr’s photos of New Yorker’s aimlessly wandering the streets and read some tips from Iraqis for dealing with a blackout in hot conditions.

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Date
20030818

Time
09:46
Build a goddess in your own back yard. Remember, you’re not breaking the second commandment if you refer to it as an icon.

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Date
20030818

Time
09:49
Hospital elevator doors sever doctor’s head in freak accident.

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Date
20030818
The Political Weblog Movement
Time
09:51
Tom Watson and Richard Allan have been interviewed by BBC Radio regarding the political effectiveness of weblogs. Yours truly also rated a mention. Cheers, Tom.

The content has been syndicated, thus the report from Elena that I scored airtime on Australian radio. An archived sound file should appear here later today.

I may be getting my wires crossed, but I’m pretty sure that this eventuated because of interest in Tom’s Teens page. This post from Tom seems to confirm that.

While we’re on the subject, Wibbler reports that FHM forgot to scroll down and included a link to the Teens page in their newsletter, citing it as genuine.

It amazes me that, with at least a dozen giveways in the text and now the new message at the bottom of the page, that this continues to fool people.

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Date
20030818
Flash Games
Time
10:05
Throw things at your boss and go ‘Tony Martin’ on some intruders. Then do try to get some work done. The economy won’t fix itself.

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Date
20030818
It’s War! And Somebody’s Telling Porkies!
Time
10:08
The Guardian on biased reporting of the Hutton Inquiry.

Rupert Murdoch’s major rag The Sun is running a week-long feature on asylum seekers to keep the masses distracted, starting with this wonderful piece based on a survey of Sun readers. I’m sure you can guess what the results are.

UPDATE – Topping the Blogdex chart this morning is a right old Beeb-basher of an article. Find out what other bloggers are saying about it by clicking here or here.

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Date
20030818
Photoshopping
Time
10:54
Hehehe. Here’s a right-old blast from the past that I tripped over today when looking for images of anti-war protestors.

This week’s B3ta comp is the double-take challenge. I woke up with this in my head this morning (that’s why I had to go anti-war image surfing). It’s just been front-paged (read the related B3ta thread here).

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Date
20030818
Christianity Watch
Time
13:39
Almost forgot to blog this: Vatican ‘ordered abuse cover-up’

The initial spin is that this was for the good of the victims.

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Date
20030818

Time
17:32
Warren Ellis writes a book via a weblog! Bloody great, and only up to part 6 if you want to jump on board.

(Ellis is the author of Transmetropolitan, a downright tasty series of graphic novels. His main/personal weblog is here.)

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Date
20030818

Time
17:39
Be the geekiest kid on your block with a Star Wars credit card!

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Date
20030819
The Political Weblog Movement
Time
09:20
That radio interview with Tom Watson and Richard Allan is finally live at this page (NetNews 17/08/03 ).

Direct links to media files: Realplayer | WMV

Hehe. ‘Honestnessness’….?

Do excuse me, it was my first radio interview.

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Date
20030819
Only Interesting to Bloggers
Time
09:24
Harsh words, ill-advised posts, and a visit from Child Protective Services. It all looks very messy. I’m staying out of it.

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Date
20030819
Games
Time
09:31
Lemmings and zombies, death and disease. What a lovely way to start the day.

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Date
20030819

Time
09:46
Mark Wards gets in on the dangers of Word documents and, as Hanging Day points out, pads this summer story with superfluous technical cleveryness.

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Date
20030819

Time
09:52
A satellite image of NYC looking pretty dark.

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Date
20030819

Time
09:53
Single males ‘between the ages of 21 and 30 with a steady job, a love of children, strong morals, and no criminal baggage’ can feel free to audition for a chance to date this woman’s daughter. Think carefully before you do. Can you imagine what this woman would be like as a mother-in-law?

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Date
20030819
The Political Weblog Movement
Time
09:56
*sigh*

I’ve commented before on my doubts about Howard Dean being presented as Political Blogger Prime. That he rarely posts on his own damn site might suggest to some that he doesn’t quite get it.

Now, Howard Dean’s team has admitted to spamming.

To their credit, they’ve admitted the mistake (resulting from trusting a dodgy contractor) and seem pretty serious about not letting it happen again.

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Date
20030819

Time
10:02
If you’ve recently been overheard making disparaging remarks about George W. Bush that may or may not be feasibly construed as a threat, then take heart. With this handy guide to SWAT team hand signals, you’ll know exactly what the squad of black-clad government-approved gun-nuts on your front lawn are up to right up to the moment when they slap the cuffs on (or accidentally pop a cap in your ass).

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Date
20030819

Time
10:06
A criminal recently broke into a the home of an artist and found what he thought was a head in jar. He immediately informed the authorities. For the exciting conclusion to this story, tune into the BBC or Canada.com News.

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Date
20030819
Christianity Watch
Time
10:14
Ahahahahahahaha!

This quick study of Christian sex-education LPs is a fantastic find from The Ultimate Insult. The relevant MP3 files are pretty hefty, but Scott’s 100% on the money when he says that they’re worth the download.

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Date
20030819
Only Interesting to Bloggers
Time
10:16
RSS feeds, aggregators… * oh, sorry… I dropped off for a moment there.

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Date
20030819

Time
10:19
Hooray for the triumphant return of the Tasmanian tiger!

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Date
20030819
Yet Another Lame Quiz
Time
11:43
How Tolerant Are You? is a quiz meant to promote this campaign. They want to ‘get people of all faiths and none to give time to each other.’

Prince Naseem thinks it’s ‘wicked.’ In a good way.

1. The quiz is spread over two pages for some reason.

2. It hits you with an email capture function before you can get to your results.

3. Then, when it presents your results, it doesn’t allow you to show these on your website via a simple copy and paste mechanism. It does allow you to forward a link to another person by email via a pretty bog-standard referral tool, but that doesn’t let you automatically reveal your results, either.

This is not how the quiz format is supposed to work, people…

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Date
20030819
It’s War! And Somebody’s Telling Porkies!
Time
13:05
No 10 knew: Iraq no threat.

Downing Street chief of staff, Jonathan Powell, sent the following private warning a week before the dodgy dossier was released:

“We will need to make it clear in launching the document that we do not claim that we have evidence that (Saddam Hussein) is an imminent threat.”

Now, let’s look at what the world leaders had to say for themselves in the eve of war:

Tony Blair: “Iraq continues to deny that it has any weapons of mass destruction, although no serious intelligence service anywhere in the world believes it.”

Oh, really? What about our own intelligence service, then?

George W Bush: “Intelligence gathered by this and other governments leaves no doubt that the Iraq regime continues to possess and conceal some of the most lethal weapons ever devised.”

Other governments? Oh, that’ll be us then. Sorry, we were wrong. Actually, we were lying our asses off to help out our special-friends-in-need, but it certainly got the job done, didn’t it?

Stress levels rising. Red mist descending. Please pass the kittens.

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Date
20030819

Time
16:01
Blast hits UN building in Baghdad. It was a car-bomb, not a confused marine.

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Date
20030819

Time
17:22
It seems like every man and his dog wants to tell B3tans about the giant gerbil infestation in China. Trust me, they know.

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Date
20030820

Time
10:25
Some mornings it just doesn’t pay to get out of bed.

I have a hat-full of headaches today, so there’s going to be very little bloggage.

I would, however, like to draw your attention to the following shameless attempt by The Sun to downplay the importance of the Hutton Inquiry.

Oh, and do update and scan today. Judging by the number of virus attachments that arrived at my main email address this morning, at least a few of you seem to be infected with the Nachi worm (which bizarrely, seems to have been created to destroy the MSBlast virus). The Symantec profile on this is here.

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Date
20030820
Tony Blair’s Email: The Delivery!
Time
20:03

Well, how about that? I did it!

You can now email Tony Blair via this web page – and it only took 304 days, 17 hours, 44 minutes and 54 seconds to make it happen.

I’ve just sent the following email via the service:

Dear Tony,

Congratulations and welcome to the Interwebnet. You may get some stick about the web-based format and the front-end filtering on this email service, but I think it’s a damn fine idea.

I hope you enjoy the benefits of immediate feedback, and maybe even get a kick out of successfully answering the odd email or two.

All the best,

Tim Ireland

http://www.bloggerheads.com/

PS – OK, that’s game. I win. Now *you* get to make naked pictures of *me*.

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Date
20030820
Tim Ireland’s RSS: The Promise
Time
21:51
Fair comment.

OK, it will take a lot of effort to migrate to a new system to sort permalinks and what not, but I’m sure I can handle an interim RSS feed. Good enough?

Somebody showed me a sample via Sitescooper or something like that, but I’ll take any suggestions if you’ve got ‘em.

Fast, easy and effective. That’s all I ask.

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Date
20030820
Tony Blair’s Email: The Delivery!
Time
22:35
Aaaand, KableNET are first with the story!

No mention of the campaign (funny, I sent them an angry email days ago) but this article does point out that the facility was ‘tested and developed (over) the past nine months.’

If Tim Yeo dares to poke his head above the parapet and take credit, I am going to be very upset and uncontrollably vocal about that.

Oh, has anyone else noticed how closely they followed my specifications? I’m having a quiet little think about that, let me tell you.

I can’t help but wonder how much of that £11,000 I’m entitled to…

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Date
20030821
Tony Blair’s Email: The Delivery!
Time
09:00

We did it!

You, me, and everybody else who linked, mailed, faxed and acted to support the 11-month-long campaign.

For those who missed the announcement late yesterday, you can now send an email to Tony Blair via the following URL:

http://www.number-10.gov.uk/output/Page821.asp

I was up until 2am sending ‘thank you’ emails to everybody who supported the campaign (if I’ve missed anyone, I do apologise).

Special thanks go out to the following people:

My local MP Sue Doughty, who tabled the first written question in Parliament.

Tom Watson, who backed the campaign in many ways (we deleted 9.1Mb of Tony Blair’s email in his office), tabled a follow-up question in parliament and was so inspired by the way we took action on this that he decided to join us in the blogosphere.

My two Downing St spies (who should probably remain anonymous), who provided vital inside information.

Kevin Marks, who provided us with the fantastic interim measure of an email-to-fax address.

And – last, but by no means least – Cherie Blair, who took the time to answer my email, was very sporting about the whole nude image thing, and whose timely influence helped me to (finally) get through to Tony’s interwebnet team.

Now, we move onto the small matter of the design of the service. It gets a chilly reception at The Guardian, along with the inevitable comparison to the recent changes at Dubya’s website, but if you take a close look at the specifications laid out back in January you’ll see that the new service pretty much follows these specs to the letter.

The specifications called for ‘a form format with a hidden destination,’ and this is precisely what they’ve delivered. I’m not sure what form the automated and direct replies take yet, but I’ll be watching very closely and will let you know as and when.

The specifications also contained the following recommendation:

“I accept that you don’t have time to read everything (or even close to 1% of it), this is why those who do deal with your email should classify each and every valid message according to the issue it addresses and the position it takes on this issue – then make a record of it (e.g. hunting-for, immigrants-against). A table can then be drawn up to give you a weekly overview of direct feedback. A simple program should suffice, but it will have to be reasonably intelligent, otherwise you might get the idea that a policy of hunting immigrants will win you the next election.”

The Downing St site, which actually has a modest filtering device on the front-end to start this process, also announces that:

“All e-mail messages are read and each month the Prime Minister receives a report on the issues raised, together with a representative sample of individual e-mails.”

That’s not only a damn fine result, it pretty much warrants an invoice.

Updates will follow throughout the day. Given that the release from Downing St makes it clear that work on this facility began in earnest 9 months ago, I can’t wait to see if Tim Yeo will dare to take the credit.

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Date
20030821
Tony Blair’s Email: News and Linkage
Time
09:37
Heh. The BBC hasn’t mentioned it on their news site, but at least they’ve told the kids about it.

TTR2 is encouraging people to email Tony Blair today, as is Wibbler.

Hip-hips and huzzahs:

Bar Room Philosophy

Martin Lloyd’s MBA Experience

Ramblings and Revelations

Voxpolitics

Off On a Tangent

Slugger O’Toole

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Date
20030821

Time
09:55
Bride-rage ends in arrest! The story is great, and the accompanying mugshot is to die for.

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Date
20030821

Time
10:20
Pauline Hanson jailed for electoral fraud! My day just keeps getting betterer and betterer. (Link via this excellent entry at Bar Room Philosophy.)

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Date
20030821

Time
11:13
Sobig-F fastest growing virus ever. Ten scrubbed copies of this have arrived in my Inbox over the last hour alone. There were well over 100 that arrived yesterday.

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Date
20030821
Search Engine Optimisation
Time
11:19
Yahoo prepares to dump Google. Testing is taking place via their Australian portal, which will surprise a few bods who expected this to take place in the UK first.

Don’t expect change anytime soon. If the Inktomi database isn’t up to scratch, this could take a while.

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Date
20030821

Time
12:14
The Guardian has launched a new weblog with a great central porpoise.

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Date
20030821
Riding High on Blogdex
Time
12:33
I’ve checked today’s blog with the Gender Genie and I’m sure you’ll be happy to know that I don’t write like a complete girl. (Unless of course you test any of my articles or campaign pages. For some strange reason, these ooze oestrogen.)

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Date
20030821
Tony Blair’s Email: News and Linkage
Time
13:12
ZDNet – Prime minister gets email: “The news is seen as a personal triumph for Tim Ireland, an Internet enthusiast who has spent the last three years campaigning for the prime minister to become an email user.”

Inches and linkage. Result!

Of course, the core campaign has only been running for 11 months, but I’m sure we can forgive minor inaccuracies on such a happy, happy day.

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Date
20030821
Tom Watson: Campaign Hijacker
Time
14:22
ITV reports on the launch of the service and gives credit to Tom Watson.

*What*?!

Right, nude images of Tom start in 5, 4, 3, 2…

(Yes, I’m kidding. This isn’t the first time Tom’s comments have been edited to remove vital big-ups and name-checks. That’s one of the reasons why the man runs a weblog.)

UPDATE – Oh, I do love the arrogance of established media. From the same release by Tom comes this piece from the BBC. Please note that, as a mere mortal, I am deemed unworthy of a name-check on the BBC website. And rightly so.

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Date
20030821
It’s War! And Somebody’s Telling Porkies!
Time
14:42
Bogus Blair, Bogus Bush: “For the most part, American media is doing a lousy job of following the British investigation of how Blair and his aides spun the case for war with Iraq. From a journalistic standard, that’s bizarre because the story of official deceit in Britain is also the story of official deceit in the United States.”

Well said, that man.

UPDATE – Today, the Hutton Inquiry revealed David Kelly predicted back in February that he would be ‘found dead in the woods’ if Iraq was invaded.

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Date
20030821
Photoshopping
Time
15:35
I’m in a jolly good mood today. Does it show?

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Date
20030822

Time
09:46
Bloody hell! 130 copies of SoBig waiting for me this morning – at 100Kb a time. One can only imagine how this is crippling the network. It must be hell for modem users, too.

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Date
20030822

Time
09:49
Popmates – pick your favourite album, movie and book and find a partner. A neat idea, but where’s the function that lets me seek out people who hate the stuff I like? I think that’s where the secret of true love lies.

My wife and I have a great partnership, but she hates it when I play Sgt. Pepper over and over, she can take or leave Star Wars and I’ve never been able to get her to read 1984.

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Date
20030822

Time
09:58
Your Marketing Sucks! Heh. A snappy title, and the manifesto looks pretty good. I may just buy a copy. (Link via Off On a Tangent.)

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Date
20030822
A Blog Is Born
Time
10:14
This new blog from Iraq comes highly recommended from Hanging Day. It even got a heads-up from Salam Pax.

From a comment on the bombing of the UN building:

“You know what? Something like this could never happen to the Ministry of Oil. The Ministry of Oil is being guarded 24/7 by tanks and troops. It has been guarded ever since the fall of Baghdad and will continue under Bremer’s watchful eye until every last drop of oil is gone.”

This entry will chill you to the bone.

Ignore me for the rest of the day. Go and read her instead.

If you need it, Hanging Day have even taken the the initiative and sorted out an RSS feed. Enjoy.

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Date
20030822

Time
12:36
PRESS RELEASE

After an 11-month campaign to bring about a serviceable public email facility for Tony Blair, marketing consultant Tim Ireland has decided to invoice Downing Street for his contribution to the development of the service.

“The campaign went well beyond a simple demand for the service,” said Ireland, “the aim was to bring about a truly viable and beneficial solution and to that end I provided a lot of information about how that could be best achieved.”

Ireland was in an excellent position to do so. Via a quirk in search engine results, a hoax address he created in 2000 started getting regular email intended for the PM, which provided an excellent overview of how a simple published address would be used – and abused – by the public.

In January, he submitted to Downing Street (and published on his weblog at bloggerheads.com) full specifications for a workable service, including recommendations for a web-based interface, subject filtering and weekly reports to be reviewed by the PM.

The new service uses a web-based interface with subject filtering and monthly reports to be reviewed by the PM.

“I’m very happy that an efficient facility has finally been put into place,” said Ireland via his weblog, “This new system is beneficial to the public and to Tony Blair, at minimal cost to the taxpayer. It’s a very well-conceived system, and I should know. I conceived it.”

The £2000 invoice submitted to Downing St is for ‘provision of specifications for Tony Blair’s email facility,’ but adds that there is ‘no charge’ for ‘provision of impetus.’

Tom Watson, a Labour MP, active blogger and valued supporter of the campaign, said: “There is a remarkable similarity between Mr Ireland’s proposal and the format of the new Downing Street email facility. At the very least he deserves credit for coming up with a very good solution to a difficult IT problem.”

The small matter of simple recognition appears to be on Tim Ireland’s mind as well. The invoice he faxed to Downing Street closes by saying that ‘an official statement from Downing St acknowledging my contribution to the project will be accepted in lieu of payment.’

Links and Contacts

New email service for Tony Blair:

http://www.number-10.gov.uk/output/Page821.asp

Original specifications:

http://www.bloggerheads.com/x-archive.asp?viewblog=20030120&date=20/01/03

Campaign:

http://www.bloggerheads.com/can_weblogs/tony_blair.asp

Please refer any questions about this press release to manic@bloggerheads.com

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030822

Time
14:31
SoBig update: Organised criminals marry spam and viruses.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030822
Flash Music Video
Time
15:56
Stickman: Weapon of Choice is… sorry, I just don’t have the words for it. Turn your speakers on and click for yourself. (Link via the B3ta newsletter.)

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030823
Updates
Time
18:50
My Photoshopping gallery has now (finally) been updated from a sequential selection to a categorised one. I wasted an entire Saturday afternoon on it, but it may be rough in places. Watch your step.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030825

Time
09:10
Australian readers: If you have a copy of yesterday’s Sun Herald, please hang onto it. I may be requesting a scan of the Sports section tomorrow.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030825

Time
09:18
Cackhanded ‘viral’ marketing from the music industry? Heaven forfend.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030826

Time
09:09
Connection… slow… downloading.. *ungh* purging… 702… copies… of.. SoBigvirus… from… mailserver!

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030826
How Weblogs Work
Time
09:12
An associate of mine brought an online diarist to my attention when that diarist made a mention of Tony Blair’s email late last week. His email address was published on his site, so I sent him a copy of my press release.

He got in touch with Tom and myself yesterday an not only published a short write-up, but also got in touch – via Tony Blair’s new email facility – to ask how likely it would be that I would actually get any form of recognition for my input.

I’ve got a crazy feeling that this diarist is more likely that you or I to get a reply. And when you see the diary entry you’ll know why.

Inches and action? Heh. I love it.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030826
Only Interesting to Bloggers
Time
09:15
See blog entries pop up across the globe in real time. (Fabbo link via TTR2.)

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030826
Photoshopping
Time
09:17
The launch of the revamped and – finally – categorised photoshopping collection has caused yet another revival of the Star Wars Photoshopping Project. I even got a couple of (v.good) suggestions over the weekend for the first time in a long time. Funny what a little context will do.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030826
Riding High on Blogdex
Time
09:20
Greg Dyke, director general of the BBC, has announced plans to give the public full access to all the corporation’s programme archives.

There’s an excellent piece on this over at Hanging Day, which is also charting well.

Oh, but it bears mentioning that your personal share of the archive – if stored on a recordable CD – may not last as long as you think.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030826

Time
09:24
Texas man has wallet returned. It was found in Okinawa – where he lost it in 1957.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030826
Christianity Watch
Time
09:28
Autistic 8-year-old boy dies when smothered by sheets during prayer service. They were trying to exorcise the ‘evil spirits’ responsible for his condition.

Not that all American are religious nutbags, but I’ve wondered aloud in the past how a country built on the idea of the separation church and state should be so ruled by religion.

Well, not just religion. Rupert ‘The Evil One’ Murdoch provides several state-approved channels for the heathens, too.

Can I just take this opportunity to apologise for Rupert again on behalf of all Australians? We really are ever so sorry that he got out. Someone left the gate open during the daily feeding. Of virgin’s blood.

UPDATE – Oops. I forgot to be fair and balanced:

Muslim girls in Norway are not allowed to ride bicycles. Blame ignorance, not Islam.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030826

Time
09:39
Coke and Pepsi deny ‘removing’ logos painted on Himilayas by simply slapping a new coat of paint over them.

While we’re guzzling branded soft-drinks, pop over and have a peek at Richard’s Can Universe. Richard can look at a can of Coke from fifty paces and tell you which country it comes from. That’d be a great party trick… if he ever left the house.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030826

Time
09:48
Do you have loud conversations on the tube? Look out – this man eavesdrops.

Pick of the day before the day before yesterday:

“That Dominic Mohan was on my tube. He reads all the papers at once. And he has an i-pod. He smells a bit.”

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030826

Time
09:52
A Queer Girl’s Top 10 Gay Myths

You go, girl! BTW, I’m on your side and all, but we do have to talk about this whole ‘we own the rainbow’ thing. The Bible did kind of get there first by branding it as God’s promise never to destroy the world by flood again (so, famine fire or pestilence next time, is it?) and it really was quite cheeky to hijack it as your own personal logo.

Why not use kittens instead? Everybody loves them, and they’re ever so fluffy. Oh, and they eat fish (so if you’re a gay Christian, you can have an exciting chase scene on your car window or bumper).

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030826
Tony Blair’s Email: The Delivery!
Time
10:19
Watch Shout99 give the service a test-run.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030826

Time
10:20
This is an interesting development: creative whoring for fun and profit, aimed squarely at the Farker market. ‘People like to laugh… apparently.’

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030826

Time
10:49
This story is mainly about the flak the new Acropolis museum is getting, but what makes me smile is the British Museum being kind enough to consider the remote possibility of loaning the Elgin marbles – named not after their creator but the guy who stole them – back to the people we stole them from. On a temporary basis. Perhaps. (Link via ionica.)

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030826

Time
14:55
Is Yahoo! entering the blogfight with a competing service? And, if so, will it really blow as much as they promise it will?

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030826
The Ship/Fan Interface
Time
16:05
Origin of 45-min claim revealed – and it wasn’t made up by Gilligan.

Corporations played a large role in developing President Bush’s energy policy – and, at a guess, we’re probably not supposed to know about that.

Hands up everybody who’s sick to death of being lied to and cheated with an increasing amount of cheek….

Thought so.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030826

Time
17:07
One of the world’s biggest ever trade fairs for guns, bombs, military planes, small arms, mines and tanks is taking place in London from 9th – 12th September 2003.

From the boycott site we get this wonderful titbit of information:

“The last DSEi exhibition took place over 11th September 2001, the day of the attacks on New York and Washington in America. While many businesses around the world closed, the arms fair stayed open. For three more days, countries including America, Israel and 14 different Arab nations continued to shop, side-by-side, for weapons to attack each other with!”

Warms the heart, doesn’t it?

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030827

Time
09:30
Running out of disk space. Have to clear the decks. With you in a mo…

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030827
Tim Yeo Speaks!
Time
09:31
Reportage over at the FT continues, and they’ve not only taken Tim Yeo to task over the shameless hijacking of the original campaign, they’ve also managed to squeeze a quote out of the man:

“I thought of the idea independently. From what I have heard of what he has been doing, I don’t think there would be any benefit in contacting him.”

1. I thought of the idea independently…

Then he’s either a liar or a fool. The most cursory search for information about Tony Blair’s email address and what action had been taken to date would have been necessary before pulling a stunt like this, surely. Such a search would have brought up numerous references to this website.

2. From what I’ve heard he has been doing…

Heard? Heard? You’re just peripherally aware of it then are you, Tim? Your arse is too far off the ground to be worried about such petty concerns? Wrong. You and I both know that you’ve been watching this action closely all along, and denying its importance and your awareness makes you look like an arrogant tosser.

3. I don’t think there would be any benefit in contacting him…

I got in touch with Tim Yeo a full week before I took any action. (You can check my archives from 11 June 2003 onwards to confirm this.) All I wanted was an answer to my email. Then it became clear that – just like Downing St – he thought that the most prudent course of action would be to pretend that I didn’t exist. From that point on, I was after an apology. A promise was made that all activity would cease the moment he apologised. Kind offers were made time and again. If you take note of this kind offer of amnesty you’ll note that it asks a number of things of Tim Yeo. The one thing he did do was take on board my suggestion that he actually table a question in parliament on the matter. He submitted a question the day after this entry – and milked the resulting answer for yet more publicity. While still pretending that I didn’t exist. He’s made a right tit of himself all along and it’s there for all to see. No benefit? There were benefits from Day One – and benefits remain. If he doesn’t want me stalking him right up until the next election, all he has to do is talk to me like a human being.

Finally, we have this:

“Yeo too, is launching his own website in the autumn.”

It won’t save you, Tim. People don’t navigate by URL, they navigate via search engines – and I’m going to be there every step of the way with alternative reports. You’ve got my details. Get in touch.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030827

Time
09:49
Hooray for Slim Goodbody, Super Hero of Health!

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030827
Wedding Bells
Time
09:51
Wrong stripper turns up late to bachelorette party and gets beaten up by bride-to-be’s mother. He was covering for a mate, did a lousy job (a short performance with not enough love for the hen) and got bruises, scratches and head injuries for his troubles.

Wedding guest bites off man’s finger. He also smeared cake on a 9-year-old boy and knocked a 49-year-old woman out cold.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030827
Only Interesting to Bloggers
Time
09:58
Yahoo introduces RSS feeds.

On the subject of (ahem) my overdue RSS feed (here’s an RSS primer for the uninitiated), we have a minor technical hitch. The format I’m using does not have code denoting the start and finish of any given post. IT also names post as 1, 2, 3, etc. instead of 01, 02, 03. This is why things turn out so higgledy-piggledy in the archive.

The original developer is long-gone, and I just don’t have the ASP hummus required to fix this kind of thing myself.

Right now I’m quietly considering my options.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030827
Photoshopping
Time
10:06
A veritable cornucopia of wonderfully naff retro images for you to use and abuse (link nabbed from ultimateinsult.net).

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030827
Summertime News
Time
10:08
British Romans in fashion faux-pas shock! Socks and sandals? No wonder the Empire crumbled.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030827

Time
10:10
A pocket lexicon of teen lingo. Here’s a tip: why not just use words from your shared vocabulary?

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030827

Time
10:14
Find out when you can get a good peek at Mars. A £5 bet on overcast conditions in Britain tonight….

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030827

Time
10:16
The number of American troops killed in postwar Iraq now exceeds the number killed during the intial conflict. Is is still too early to start using the ‘V’ word?

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030827

Time
10:18
Government scientists in the 1950′s, curious to know how we would hold up under a nuclear attack, drew up secret plans to sell radioactive meat to the public. It’s not revealed whether the plan was put into action, but given that these documents were scheduled for release in 1972 and they haven’t seen the light of day until now, I’d say the chances are pretty bloody good.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030828
Christianity Watch
Time
09:23
Ten Commandments monument moved. I watched Alabama Chief Justice Roy Moore speak out on TV last night. It scared me. The quote given at this CNN report doesn’t do the reception of his statement justice, so here’s the full version including crowd responses just for you. No, this isn’t a joke:

It is a sad day in our country… Praise Jesus! …when the moral foundation of our law… Speak it, brother! …and the acknowledgment of God… Hallelujah! …has to be hidden from public view… Amen! …to appease a federal judge. Go tell it on the mountain!

(OK, so maybe I made that last one up.)

UPDATE – In Tarrant County, Texas a lone protestor is demanding the removal of a statue of a sleeping panther on the grounds that it is a pagan image.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030828
Photoshopping
Time
09:31
The infection… it spreads!

Thanks to Martin, we have a nifty scan of this unexpected tangent to the Star Wars Photoshopping Project from the 24 Aug edition of Sydney’s Sun Herald. The chap featured is Willie Mason. They appear to be making fun of his new hair-do.

Incidentally, I knocked out a fresh entry to the gallery yesterday after an excellent suggestion from Lewis Henson that I do The Matrix. You can see the result here.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030828

Time
09:43
A handy find from The Ultimate InsultJetable offers disposable email, ideal for signing up to forums, making one-off Usenet posts, etc.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030828

Time
09:45
Canada bans passport smiles. You must wear ‘a neutral expression.’ At all times. But think happy thoughts… happy thoughts… happy thoughts…

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030828

Time
09:52
Holiday Inn has declared today to be Towel Amnesty Day. A cold-hearted marketing monster pretending to be human, but fun all the same. After all, they don’t want their towels back, they just want you to tell them why you stole it. 25 100% legal souvenir towels are up for grabs for the best stories. (What, no shampoo or shower caps?)

As an added nicey-nicey touch, a crisp American dollar goes to charidee for each story told.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030828

Time
10:03
Would-be pig thief brutally murdered. He was quite literally butchered like a hog.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030828

Time
10:05
From the man who brought you claims that the U.S. Air Force flew Saddam out of Iraq comes this report about new American ‘super tanks’ used in Iraq that shoot fire and lightning.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030828

Time
10:09
Mother charged after buying beer for her teenage son and friends and putting on a strip show for them. It was to make up for ‘a failed birthday trip to ride go-carts.’ The Smoking Gun has the paperwork. Me, I’m dying to see the mugshot.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030828

Time
10:12
Guerilla Parenting (via TTR2).

I love this bit:

“Warning: Police may confuse your activities with illegal grafitti vandalism.”

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030828
Follow Up
Time
10:14
Former POW Jessica Lynch honorably discharged from Army. Sadly, they didn’t send a SWAT team in to stage a brave rescue from the Camden-Clark Memorial Hospital – but you’ll be happy to know that publishers are lining up with book deals.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030828

Time
10:17
Germaine Greer is scheduled give a public lecture at the Department of Film, Television and Media Studies at the University of Auckland. The only problem is that she faces arrest upon entering New Zealand for swearing during an Auckland Town Hall meeting. In 1972.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030828
Flash Games
Time
10:20
Bomb Bandits! (via FunJunkie). I sniggered at the name, but sucked at the game.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030828
It’s War! And Somebody’s Telling Porkies!
Time
11:04
You may want to read the full story of Tony’s time in power before taking a peek at what some think will be the final chapter. This latter page is sure to feature update links and/or partial transcripts later today. A full transcript should be available via the Hutton Inquiry website sometime this evening.

Bring forth the interrogation droid!

UPDATE – Dossier wasn’t case for war says Blair. This BBC page also has a link to a blow-by-blow account.

UPDATE – A fine analysis of Tony’s lawyerspeak from Hanging Day. It’s not the first time he’s played the ‘exteremly serious’ card, and I seem to remember a certain document used as a central device in the justification for war not only by us, but the US as well.

Oh, and there’s a few thoughts from Bar Room Philosophy that you may wish to consider.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030828

Time
15:41
Smoking Gun uncovers 1977 interview with Arnold Schwarzenegger. It’s fruity stuff. You may have to lower your chair.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030829

Time
09:20
The site’s been down since about 6:00pm (GMT) last night. Sorry about that. One of our hamsters died. I woke up to find him dead on the wheel, the poor chap.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030829
Tony Blair’s Email: News and Linkage
Time
09:21
The Guardian: TonyBlair@onlineatlast.gov.uk No name-check, but a mighty fine URL-check. It also contains a minor inaccuracy. I didn’t target Cherie to make her get in touch. I started with nude images of Tony then, when his office continued to ignore me, I started on Cherie. It was then that someone piped up with some solid e-mail addresses for the First Lady.

Note – if you’re a first-time visitor, you can read more about this exciting chapter by clicking here for the closing stages of the campaign. Alternatively, you can simply check out the archived weblog entry from the day I emailed her, which has a full transcript of the email sent and a very rare image for you to enjoy from the comfort of your own web shed.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030829
Arrogance of Established Media
Time
09:26
The Mirror has swiped online content yet again by picking up the Arnie story blogged yesterday and giving zero credit to The Smoking Gun who originally unearthed and published the 1977 interview.

You can voice your displeasure here, or get in touch with their i-blog team (they don’t have many friends, so will be happy to hear from someone by email).

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030829

Time
09:35
Revealed: How RIAA tracks downloaders. Step One appears to be kicking your door down and seizing your computer.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030829

Time
09:40
Today, it’s cold and miserable. Again. And I love it! I can’t wait to get home tonight and curl up in my burlap sack under the bridge. The bad news is that the cold weather has driven the flies indoors here at work. However, I brought a flyswatter in yesterday morning and we’ve got the little buggers on the run. I killed two with one blow yesterday when they stopped for a shag on top of my monitor. Please raise your coffee cups in a toast to dying happy.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030829
Follow Up
Time
09:43
That bride who went on a drunken rampage has been fined $90 for creating a public disturbance. Shouldn’t her parents pay that fine?

(Also via romenesko’s Obscure Store… read about the man who published a fake obituary to get out of a court appearance.)

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030829

Time
09:48
Powerskip! A new German sport that lets you dance around like a cyber-enhanced fairy.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030829

Time
09:50
Harrison Ford blasts US Iraq policy. Mind you, he waited until he was out of the country before he did so. The big baby.

In other news, Halliburton, the company formerly headed by Vice President Cheney, has won contracts worth more than $1.7 billion under Operation Iraqi Freedom. That’s far more than was originally claimed, and there’s more in the pipeline. So to speak.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030829
Flash Music Video
Time
09:54
MTV roll out the Dancing Paul format yet again for God Save The Queen (link via TTR2).

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030829
Yet Another Lame Quiz
Time
09:57
The Jedi Test is a perfect example of how to suck all the value out of the personality quiz format.

Personal publishing is on the rise, largely thanks to a new format that allows people to express themselves through their discoveries. Personality quizzes go right to the heart of this (which is why they’ve played such a big part in the weblog explosion).

Where, may I ask, is the feature in this particular quiz that allows participants to display the results on their site and in doing so link to the quiz?

Some people never learn.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030829

Time
10:07
Tour locations in London as featured in PS2′s Getaway. A fantabulous find from The Ultimate Insult.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030829

Time
10:08
A new variation of the SoBig virus must have just kicked into gear. It’s been all quiet for the last 12 hours, and now they’re coming in thick and fast again.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030829
Rupert ‘The Evil One’ Murdoch
Time
10:10
Al Franken talks about his big victory over the Fox News bullies.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030829

Time
10:11
Are we really to good guys? Of course not – we just have a better publicity machine. Too bad it’s mostly internal. Y’see, this is why a lot have people have no qualms about blowing us up.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030829
Friday Feedback
Time
10:32
The moment Downing St comes good on this invoice or due credit for the design of the email service I think we can pretty much call it a day on this long-running Can Weblogs…? project. The senatorial weblog campaign Can Weblogs Go To Washington? is still ticking along, but I think there’s room for another one if there’s a quick win up for grabs.

I’m open to suggestions, people. The word ‘we’ is not used in the royal sense. Emails to the usual address.

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Date
20030829

Time
11:31
My recent efforts have just been reviewed in Swedish. Would anybody care to translate? The credit link leading to this prayer has me ever so curious…

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Date
20030829

Time
12:18
FBI reported to be questioning 18-year-old suspect in the U.S. about the authorship of a later version of MSBlast (link via loving the alien). I’d be more impressed if they caught the rotten buggers behind SoBig, but as these guys look to be actual criminals (by and large smarter than your average attention-starved teenager), I’m not holding my breath.

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Date
20030829
Photoshopping
Time
13:50
The latest B3ta challenge just went live: Hollywood Premakes (how would current movies would look if made in the past).

I’ve only got time for one entry today, but it’s ever so user-friendly and you can see it here.

UPDATE – Front-page action! Huzzah!

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Date
20030829

Time
14:40
Steady on, fellas…

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Date
20030829

Time
15:47
Alastair Campbell is to resign as the government’s director of communications and strategy. (Thanks to Wibbler for the heads-up.) That’s one down…

UPDATE – make what you will of the BBC being so ready with an obituary, or drop by this page to leave a comment.

Best comment so far:

“Well he says he’s resigning. Have we had this confirmed by more than one source?”

01-15 August, 2003

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Date
20030801

Time
09:12
Government-commissioned report reveals how terrorists can best destroy Australia. This may seem like a shoot-yourself-in-foot moment, but the report does not detail any plans to halt the beer supply, and as such appears to be deliberately flawed.

UPDATE – This information is soooo sensitive, the newspaper wasn’t allowed to include the URL or the authors’ name. Too bad a direct quote from the report allowed me to find it in about 30 seconds.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030801

Time
09:16
Behold Seyed, the religious prophet of many (domain) names.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030801

Time
09:17
Six injured in freak milk-separating machine accident at Freeborn County Fair.

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Date
20030801

Time
09:18
He left court ‘without a stain on his character’ according to the judge, but you and I know that mud sticks and whispers will continue. Watch John Leslie’s statement after the decision. It looked and felt genuine to me. Give that man a weblog!

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Date
20030801
Does What It Says On The Tin
Time
09:20
Scott woke up one morning wondering what would happen if he wore a nametag everyday. See the drama and intrigue unfold at www.hellomynameisscott.com (via Ultimate Insult).

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030801
Anyone but George
Time
09:23
Dubya discusses top priorities for the U.S. You may want to read the immediate reaction to this:

“I believe in the sanctity of marriage. I believe a marriage is between a man and a woman. And I think we ought to codify that one way or the other. And we’ve got lawyers looking at the best way to do that.”

At times like this, you really have to ask yourself if there can be an effective separation of church and state when there’s a religious zealot in office. Especially when he seems to be adopting strategic stances to win votes from certain religious communities.

Also, Charlotte sent the following link in this morning:

The Emperor Has No Flight Suit!

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Date
20030801

Time
09:38
Wired: The Case for Terrorism Futures

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Date
20030801

Time
09:41
Vandal wears high-heels to disguise getaway footprints. Too bad he was spotted wearing the heels and police found an abandoned pair of tennis shoes at the scene of the crime.

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Date
20030801

Time
09:44
Sex with stranger costs $37,500

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Date
20030801
Christianity Watch
Time
09:45
Over Three Hundred Proofs of God’s Existence. Well, that’s me told, then.

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Date
20030801

Time
09:47
I hate when I have an idea, don’t act on it, and then see it (poorly) executed by somebody else.

I wanted my evil fortune cookies to be produced for real (instead of on a website with two Amazon affiliate links). I contacted the three major producers of fortune cookies in the UK, and all of them turned the idea down as wholly inappropriate.

Bummer.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030801
Tony Blair’s Email
Time
09:57
You may have noticed that – after months of campaigning – I pretty much backed off on the whole Tony Blair email thing when war broke out. I had what I considered to be a pretty solid promise of delivery, and it was pretty obvious that they weren’t about to launch it at a time when the system was likely to be immediately overloaded.

Now, however, we have the promised delivery date of ‘during August,’ and guess what? It’s August! I’ll be watching matters very closely. They have 31 days.

You people have seen me cut loose before. It’s not pretty. Here’s hoping for the best.

UPDATE – Like it or not, it looks like Alastair Campbell is headed for the chop. To nominate me as his replacement, get in touch with Tony’s communications dept. the old-fashioned way or send them a message via this email-to-facsimile address.

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Date
20030801
The Political Weblog Movement
Time
10:15
David Weinberger is now ‘Senior Internet Advisor’ for Howard Dean. Well done, you. Here’s hoping we see more posts from the man himself as a result. (Link magically discovered via Technorati, which revealed this post at Das E-Business Weblog.)

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Date
20030801
Can Weblogs…?
Time
12:46
Can Weblogs Go To Washington? was the question we asked. The main drive was to get a blogging facility requested and installed at senate.gov but, as Steve has kindly informed us, Senate minority leader Tom Daschle planning to start a blog regardless of this current lack of publishing format.

Can weblogs go to Washington? Ladies and gentlemen, they have officially arrived, and the very first post can be found here.

We still want Movable Type or a bloody good equivalent installed at senate.gov, though – and you can still help to make that happen – but it looks like I’ll need another Can Weblogs…? project soon.

Currently I’m toying with the idea of getting JPEG Baby to the top of the charts.

It’s Friday. Send feedback.

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Date
20030801
Photoshopping
Time
16:01
The Guardian is having a design your own sculpture for Trafalgar Square’s fourth plinth competition thingy.

If I can’t have George Orwell, I want one of these. (Click here for a larger version.)

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Date
20030802

Time
07:45
Ronald (Ronnie) Scelson is in the news again, defending the indefensible.

And lo, Ronnie did see ISPs filtering known spam, and did crawl out from under his rock and proclaim:

“There’s no right for them to decide and destroy what belongs to you. Whether you want it or not is your decision, not the carriers.”

Reach out and touch the man. You know you want to.

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Date
20030804

Time
08:58
Jesus used Marijuana? No wonder he was so good at the old ‘loaves and fishes’ trick. They didn’t have 7-11s in them days.

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Date
20030804
Follow Up
Time
09:00
That chap who stole a bus, took it on its normal route and collected passengers and fares has been at it again.

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Date
20030804
Flash Thingies
Time
09:04
Keep your parents off the Internet! Scott’s right… it is slightly amusing.

I had an interesting moment with my Mum yesterday, when calling Australia about this and that. I wanted to show her that cool search result for ‘love song’… and please keep in mind that this was moments after her comment that she sometimes find content at Bloggerheads disturbing.

“Ah yes, but we’re doing good things, Mother. Pop along to Google…”

“Yes…”

“Enter the search query ‘love song’…”

“OK, here come the results..”

“Do you see it there at number 4?”

“Oh yes, ‘JPEG Baby’…. what is that?”

“You mean you haven’t heard ‘JPEG Baby’ yet?”

“No.”

“OKseeyouMumloveyoubye.”

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Date
20030804

Time
09:13
Read a discussion about religion prompted by a link to the Universal Church of the Interactive Network.

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Date
20030804
Riding High on Blogdex
Time
09:15
Did Bob Hope ever say anything funny? You’ll find the range of comments about this piece and its author far more interesting than the article itself.

Also, the preview release launch of TypePad today has most people’s attention.

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Date
20030804

Time
09:18
Meg Ryan to star in violent, sexually explicit thriller. I hope it’s not too violent; skinny actresses of a certain age have a tendency to snap like dry kindling.

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Date
20030804
Photoshopping
Time
09:21
Fark theme: Photoshop President Bush snickering.

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Date
20030804
The Political Weblog Movement
Time
09:24
Following this announcement we hear news that Howard Dean is to drive his ‘grass roots’ campaign via television advertising. Please note the addition of inverted commas, now made necessary by the use of mass communication.

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Date
20030804

Time
09:34
HangingDay: Five predictions about the David Kelly enquiry.

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Date
20030804
Anyone but George
Time
09:35
Less than half of US would vote to return Bush to White House: poll Yes, but less than half got him into the White House in the first place.

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Date
20030804
Funny, That…
Time
09:37
Senator fuming over gay marriage order. Says Rome should have more respect for America’s long-held separation of church and state.

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Date
20030804

Time
09:40
Boulder librarians deleting user databases to protest the Patriot Act.

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Date
20030804
Viral Marketing
Time
09:43
Justin Kirby edges dangerously close to the truth about viral marketing. Still no mention of the SEO factor, though – and he really shouldn’t have mentioned Fark or B3ta. Now they’ll be inundated with commercial crap for the next three weeks running.

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Date
20030804

Time
09:48
John Leslie – Should he have been given anonymity?

I picked up a stray copy of the Daily Mail on Saturday. Always a mistake. They went straight for the man’s jugular, with 8 pages dedicated to exposing his evil nature. My favourite informed/expert opinion started with: “I never met John Leslie, but I certainly know his type…”

UPDATE – And here’s a picture, boys and girls…

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Date
20030804

Time
10:51
Hoon under fire as holiday clashes with Kelly funeral. Tony Blair will also be out of the country on the day (sunning himself in lovely Barbados). According to some papers, Janice Kelly has said that neither of them would be welcome anyway, but the government still feels it necessary to send a reliable stand-in for this sensitive occasion – John Prescott.

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Date
20030804

Time
13:08
Just a little Google-juice for smelly water.

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Date
20030804
A Blog Is Born
Time
15:27
Scott from The Ultimate Insult is on the ball. Introducing the weblog of Austin Mitchell (Labour MP for Grimsby).

1. Here’s a growing list of people who care.

2. I could have sworn his name was Austin Haddock.

3. Austin has always been somewhat of an individual, so I’ll do my best to deal with the eyeball-tearing colour scheme.

4. The link to this from his static site points us to a non-existant index.htm file. Somebody may wish to update this link so it directs us to the index.php file or – to keep things simple – http://www.austinmitchell.org/

5. I looked and looked and looked, but couldn’t find any way to email Austin and congratulate him. Oh well. Back to the static site we go for the necessary contact information (and a quick perv on his staff).

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Date
20030805
Christianity Watch
Time
08:56
Cardinal denounces same-sex headline. He doesn’t say what’s wrong with it, he just denounces it. I think perhaps the suggestion is that the Vatican’s recent statement on same-sex marriages isn’t anti-gay, it’s pro-hetero – and shame on you for not knowing the difference. I tell you, this Catholic-bashing getting way out of hand.

Speaking of which:

Smart investing and Catholic values? Now you can have both!

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Date
20030805

Time
09:04
Hanging Day dares to ask: Has Private Eye gone establishment? Tissues and tears all round.

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Date
20030805

Time
09:05
Tiny Tim: The Musical. It’s got puppets! Woo!

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Date
20030805

Time
09:06
Inventor develops electronic glove to translate sign language into speech.

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Date
20030805
Does What It Says On The Tin
Time
09:07
www.freethegnomes.com

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Date
20030805
Search Engine Optimisation
Time
09:09
Google has introduced a new advanced search feature that allows users to search not only for a particular keyword, but also for its synonyms. I’ll have a poke around with that later today.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030805

Time
09:11
Why are Liberian soldiers wearing fright wigs? Cross-dressing combatants are a fun distraction, but these kids are drugged out of their minds and running around willy-nilly with live ammunition. And we feel compelled to stand by on the sidelines because we’ve already had one war this year.

Cheery news for a Tuesday, huh? Here, some images of nuclear explosions will help jolly you up.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030805
Riding High on Blogdex
Time
09:16
How to install Windows XP in 5 hours or less.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030805

Time
09:17
Right-wing bloggers follow ’10 best’ list with ’10 worst figures in history’ list. Bill Clinton manages third place. Jane Fonda and Michael Moore get ‘honourable mentions.’

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Date
20030805
Only Interesting to Bloggers
Time
09:20
RSS: Dave Winer vs. the alternative developers. It’s already descended into childish name-calling – on one side, anyway.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030805
Telemarketers
Time
09:23
Read about a new scam meant to get around the new ‘do not call’ list.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030805

Time
09:25
Robert De Niro, Harvey Keitel and Howard Stern are legally entitled to carry a loaded firearm in NYC. Steven Seagal and Joan Rivers are not.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030805

Time
09:52
Peace love and rainbows… Gay and Lesbian Alliance (GLA) changes name to Death Penalty Party of South Africa (DPP).

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030805

Time
09:55
Consumerism gone mad: celebrity ducks.

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Date
20030805

Time
09:56
Heh. A nice reaction to the Pentagon’s proposedthenquicklyshelved terrorism futures market. Why bet and trade of terrorism when you can instead bet and trade on which country the White House will threaten next?

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030805
Tom’s Teens Page
Time
13:43
Tom Watson’s Teens! page enjoyed another outing in print today, courtesy of yet another journalist operating without the benefit of a scroll bar (or a sense of humour, by the looks of things).

Thanks to Joe Smith for the heads-up.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030805
Photoshopping
Time
16:09
I made this. Oh, and on my travels I found this cool ‘photos of my friends’ site that pretty much typifies Tripod use. (Poor Amanda – a promising modelling career shot to hell…)

Mind you, some good is done on this corner of the web. Case in point: The Ultimate Build Your Own Cow Page!

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030806

Time
09:07
Really bad spam delights geeks. Whatever floats your boat. I hate it all.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030806

Time
09:09
There’s a funeral today. Take time out for a minute’s silence if you can. Then get back to shouting.

Repeat after me:

“It’s all about regime change!”

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Date
20030806

Time
09:11
I’m sure you’ll enjoy this fantastic collection of souped-up rice-burners. The genuinely sad spend as much on their sound system as their bodywork and accessories. I once knew a chap whose bass-bins took up the entire back seat. This would be a problem if he ever met a real-live girly. If…

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Date
20030806

Time
09:16
Man gets 12 months for publishing bomb recipes on his website. The website in question is here. You may wish to read the statement on it. The grand and glorious Web Archive is having server problems at the moment, but it’s probably worth checking later today to see the earlier version of the site that got him into so much trouble.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030806

Time
09:21
Explore the Mormon/Battlestar Galactica Connection (link via the Ultimate Insult). This site has a bunch of other crazy B-movie stuff on it. So does this one. Enjoy.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030806

Time
09:26
Steel Worker Takes 30,000-Volt Jolt. Apparently it’s a miracle he’s alive, but major voltage passing through your body is less likely to kill you than, say, a modest 240v or so. Mind you, it burns like a bastard…

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Date
20030806

Time
09:28
Here’s an interesting little camcorder review found by FunJunkie.

UPDATE – Many, many, many more excellent reviews can be found in this B3ta thread.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030806
Christianity Watch
Time
09:30
Two lame mud-slinging attempts have fallen by the wayside and the Episcopal Church has approved the election of its first openly gay bishop.

More earth-shattering than this, however, is the news that 404 errors were foretold in the Bible.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030806

Time
09:33
Power from blood could lead to ‘human batteries’

Insert obligatory Matrix reference here.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030806

Time
09:35
John Farnham has been asked to join famed British rock band Queen! If you just said ‘John who…?’ then count yourself lucky. Nobody deserves to start Wednesday morning with a cold and dark fear that penetrates their very soul…

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030806

Time
09:39
Hooray for Japanese vending machines!

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Date
20030806
Photoshopping
Time
10:12
The temperature is supposed to top 37 degrees celsius today, so for the rest of the morning I am going to attempt to beat the heat by pretending that it’s Christmas.

Wish me luck.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030807

Time
09:21
Some frank tips for avoiding airline terrorism. Pick of the bunch:

“Bring your own bomb on board. If terrorists get up and start threatening everyone, you then threatening to blow up the plane if they don’t shut up. That will steal their thunder, and they’ll probably just sulk and then sit back down.”

Also, there’s this:

Help! Hong Kong police-terrorist use Brain Voice Read / Write Machine Murders Hong Kong people , 100% true story, please E-mail your dear people and the local news, thank my dear Internet friend.

My work is done here. Onwards and upwards…

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030807
Riding High on Blogdex
Time
09:25
I was just getting over the news that Arnold Schwarzenegger is running for governor of California when I turned on my ‘puter to discover what radio and television decided to keep from me… that Gary Coleman is also running!

Oh, this is going to be fun. When you’re done reading quotes from Arnold Schwarzenegger’s announcement, you might want to also consider ten reasons why Gary deserves your vote.

Finally, we take a look at this morning’s chart topper:

Also-run Larry Flynt is requesting that you pray for the death of FOX news ‘journalist’ and anchor Bill O’Reilly.

You can find out what other bloggers think about this by clicking here or here.

PHOTOSHOPPING UPDATE – Don’t laugh. It could happen.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030807

Time
09:42
Hooray for Google News Alerts! Now I’ll get an email anytime Tim Yeo gets a mention. This, combined with the ‘Blog This’ feature on Google’s toolbar, makes stalking the man a breeze.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030807

Time
09:46
Given the choice, would you travel by a dog-powered scooter or flying car?

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Date
20030807

Time
09:49
J-Lo has dumped Ben. Try to pretend that you care.

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Date
20030807

Time
09:50
Women exposed to WTC dust may be giving birth to undersized babies. The asbestos issue looks to have been swept under the rug (as is said) but this site pokes around the top Google search results for you.

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Date
20030807

Time
09:58
Enjoy rock’s ten most infamous copyright battles. Huey Lewis vs. Ray Parker Jr. will always be my favourite. Apparently the producers of the film Ghostbusters specifically referenced I Want a New Drug when describing the kind of sound they were looking for and Ray, Dog bless him, delivered it in the most efficient way possible – by simply ripping off the melody.

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Date
20030807

Time
10:06
Bus driver drinks until 4:00am before starting shift at 4:10am

A completely different bus driver got around the ‘no shorts’ rule by wearing a skirt instead.

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Date
20030807
Tom’s Teens Page
Time
10:08
A fanta-stick letter in the latest issue of Private Eye hits the nail right on the head. Brian Whiley of Hull, if you’re out there, drop me a line. A free book is yours for the asking.

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Date
20030807

Time
10:12
Napalm devices were used on Iraqi troops.

Said Col. Randolph Alles; “The generals love napalm. It has a big psychological effect.”

He also notes that it’s a less than pleasant way to die. The White House takes a different view. It’s not napalm, oh no. It’s a firebomb. And presumably it kills people in an entirely different and much more pleasant manner. Kind of like flowers falling from the sky, except with a slight tingling sensation and a mild BBQ-like smell.

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Date
20030807

Time
10:33
Amazon.com founder Jeff Bezos is branching into space-tourism.

You know, it occurred to me recently that the Russian space program could benefit greatly from a little clever marketing. Dennis Tito paid the Russian Space Agency $20m, but there have been state lotteries in the U.S. offering prizes bigger than this (and taking in a great deal more in the process).

So why not have a lottery offering the winner a chance to go into space?

It’s a beautiful idea in so many ways:

- For the month or so that the lottery runs, everybody who participates will get to enjoy that tantalising (albeit slight) possibility of travelling in space.

- The person who does end up going won’t be some rich nut with more money than sense.

- The Russian Space Agency will take in a shedload more than $20m.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030807

Time
16:40
I was just having a quick poke around trying to see if there were any weblogs, community sites or portals for the UK fashion/modelling scene, and while I did find one solid weblog on the subject pretty much straight away, I am very easily distracted.

And here are those distractions in full:

Men with eye-patches. Is there anything cooler than a complete loss of depth perception?

Surely this qualifies as desecration of the American flag?

1. It’s touching the ground.

2. It’s touching pubic hair!

3. It’s probably also duct-taped to his butt.

Finally, whatever happened to natural big-breasted curvy girls?

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Date
20030808

Time
09:05
‘Wedding still on’ says Lopez. Thanks, Steve. We can all sleep now.

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Date
20030808

Time
09:06
There’s a nice write-up on the current Iraq situation over at Hanging Day – and a timely warning for Hans Blix. For the sake of your own health, Hans, do try to avoid deserted streets and grassy knolls.

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Date
20030808

Time
09:08
Behold the sporting wonder that is Zorb!

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Date
20030808

Time
09:09
Court rules that man is not allowed to own a dog. Ever. “You’re just a bad, bad owner,” said the judge.

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Date
20030808

Time
09:11
The Monkey Shakespeare Simulator (via Ultimate Insult).

It’s kind of like a simian version of the Seti @ Home project. Every time you view the page, ‘your computer is put to work to simulate a number of monkeys typing randomly on typewriters, and each page typed is checked against every play Shakespeare ever wrote.’

Heh. Cool. The longer you stay on the page, the greater your chances of breaking the current record – 6 letters from King John after 86,339 monkey-years.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030808

Time
09:18
Security flaw at spammer’s website reveals people are actually buying. Doesn’t surprise me. Close to a quarter of a million people The Sun is a newspaper and Lombard Direct is ‘easier, faster and cheaper’ than going to the bank.

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Date
20030808

Time
09:25
I played with the Random Personal Picture Finder for a bit yesterday. It’s pretty smooth, and has a nifty ‘choose size of picture’ feature, but I still have a soft spot for Randimaginator.

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Date
20030808
Flash Games
Time
09:28
3D Stress Ball is like Marble Madness, except with bouncing and far more severe consequences when gravity takes hold.

Ooooh, what’s that big green and brown thing coming towards me? I think I’ll call it ‘ground.’ I wonder if it will be my friend…

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030808

Time
09:31
When good stories go bad:

Some prankster set a chicken aloft by attaching 100 helium balloons to it. It became trapped in power lines, and a police officer used an air pistol to pop some balloons and bring the chicken safely to the ground. Said officer is now being investigated for firing a non-regulation weapon. At, what we can only assume, was a non-regulation chicken.

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Date
20030808

Time
09:36
Researchers publish guidelines for Web addiction, complete with nifty acronym:

More than intended time spent online

Other responsibilities neglected

Unsuccessful attempts to cut down

Significant relationship discord because of use

Excessive thoughts or anxiety when not online.

Now perhaps somebody can look into the risks of researching and at what stage it interferes with somebody actually having a life.

Ooooh, hang on, there’s more:

Yet another team of researchers claim that email users are only six mouse-clicks away from anyone else in cyberspace.

You can tell it’s summer break, can’t you?

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Date
20030808

Time
09:39
This giant robot dog costume is the coolest thing you will see all week. The inclusion of an animated pilot (that ‘operates’ the controls in synch with the wearer’s movements) is inspired.

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Date
20030808

Time
09:45
Parking inspector puts parking ticket on windscreen of car. While the driver was slumped in the front seat, dead from an overdose.

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Date
20030808

Time
09:48
A cool collection of Russian anti-alcohol posters.

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Date
20030808

Time
09:49
New stadium’s toilets tested with simultaneous flushing. 200 volunteers flushed 627 toilets.

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Date
20030808

Time
16:01
Here you go – look at some flat tops.

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Date
20030808
Does What It Says On The Tin
Time
16:22
Via NTK:

www.fixyourmp.com

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Date
20030808
Photoshopping
Time
16:24
Some wallpaper-sized movie images for you, and a nice collection of hi-res images from T3. Use them wisely.

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Date
20030810

Time
12:12
This bloody heatwave had better break soon. The unrelenting heat is starting to diddle with my head. Poor sleep, the inability to think straight… I never liked it in Australia, and I certainly don’t like it here.

Enough with the heat already!

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Date
20030811

Time
09:00
It’s… tesg’s guide to big chain road food consumption (via Ultimate Insult).

His review of Kenny Rogers Roasters is pretty straightforward:

“I don’t care for chicken, and I don’t care for Kenny Rogers.”

Still, he managed to walk away with a new-found love for Kenny’s wood-fired rotisserie chicken, if not for the man himself.

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Date
20030811
Flash Games
Time
09:04
El Reggio is right. This game isn’t the best game in the world, but the work-alert feature is second to none.

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Date
20030811
It’s War! And Somebody’s Telling Porkies!
Time
09:07
WMDs: Depiction of Threat Outgrew Supporting Evidence

Oh, but there’s new evidence on the way. No, really.

Why are you looking at me like that?

UPDATE – Tickle your giblets with more on this subject over at Hanging Day.

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Date
20030811
Riding High on Blogdex
Time
09:10
This example of a bikini model shot from a digital manipulation portfolio is enjoying a fair amount of attention.

She looks great at first, but then we find out that she’s got bad skin, a furry body and hands like grandma.

Says the artist:

“It doesn’t seem natural to me to take out every curve, to airbrush out every blemish, but what the Art Director wants, the Art Director will get.”

Remember, if you don’t have access to Photoshop, then beer has pretty much the same effect.

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Date
20030811

Time
09:17
Remember the good old days before cable television when the cheapest thrill one could have at home was a twenty minute (ahem) ‘aerobic’ workout?

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Date
20030811

Time
09:20
Southwest ticket agent tells man he is too big to fit on the plane – makes point by pointing to his stomach and laughing.

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Date
20030811
Anyone but George
Time
09:22
Now, this is a campaign site I can believe in.

On a similar note, the anti-Arnie movement got off to a good start this weekend with this striking campaign and this run-down at rotten.com (careful with that last one – it contains a naughty image or two).

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Date
20030811
Only Interesting to Bloggers
Time
09:27
A charming song from Radio Free Blogistan and a review of Blogshares.

Incidentally, shares in Bloggerheads.com show steady growth. Invest today. Or send me some real money.

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Date
20030811
U.C.I.N.
Time
09:32
The Universal Church of the Interactive Network has been reviewed by this weblog that tracks ‘unusual’ churches.

Unusual? What’s unusual about love and respect for your fellow web users?

Oh, right. Reality. Sorry, I do keep forgetting…

BTW, current UCIN placement for the ultimate generic search query ‘religion’ in Google is 91st (up from 102nd last month). Slowly but surely…

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Date
20030811

Time
09:38
Car falls from five-story carpark and lands on rooftop opposite.

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Date
20030811
Follow Up
Time
09:39
US admits it used napalm bombs in Iraq.

A 1980 UN convention banned the use of napalm against civilian targets. Yet another treaty not signed by the ultimate rogue state.

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Date
20030811

Time
09:42
Mr Men ‘go corporate’ to sell pharmaceutical message to kiddies.

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Date
20030811
Tom’s Teens Page
Time
09:46
Heh. Tom’s not taking any chances with Private Eye – and rightly so.

As Paul Carr notes in this excellent article, a simple search would have saved them a lot of embarrassment.

That’s a good rule of thumb, there:

“When in doubt, use Google.”

And, if still flummoxed, try Technorati.

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Date
20030811

Time
09:53
Man disguised as gorilla snatches bananas from shop. The shopkeeper was treated for shock. You may also want to take a seat for the earth-shattering revelation that a film company was behind the prank.

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Date
20030811

Time
09:56
Prince William spears antelope while on holiday in Kenya. The freshly shish-kebabed beast is also known as a ‘dik-dik,’ providing animal lovers and cheap tabloids ample ammunition with which to strike back on its behalf.

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Date
20030811
Spam
Time
10:00
Ah yes, now this is what we like to see: filters that fight back.

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Date
20030811
Flash Thingies
Time
11:03
Meet Edward the Fat Panda.

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Date
20030811

Time
11:43
Bill Thompson is Andrew Orlowski in a fake beard AICMFP.

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Date
20030811

Time
12:40
When the killer heatwave finally breaks down south we can look forward to killer lightning strikes.

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Date
20030811
Flash Thingies
Time
16:35
This should keep you busy for the rest of the afternoon. Play with the numbers, click OK. That’s about it, really.

Try 15, 5, 10, 10 for a cool bouncing wormlet, or go and watch the B3tans playing with it.

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Date
20030811

Time
16:47
Prepare to up-chuck (submitted by Pete, who now has to clean my shoes).

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Date
20030812

Time
08:54
Two big launch announcements:

Announcing Issue Zero of the London News Review (£5 well spent) and the victorious debut of the Domkun kettle in the Screen Pages office kitchenette (a heavily lime-scaled veteran bites the dust).

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Date
20030812

Time
08:59
Speedstacks is the undisputed leader in the exciting sport of of Cup Stacking. You’ll want to make time to watch their collection video clips.

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Date
20030812

Time
09:01
Historic schoolhouse deroofed when demolition contractor starts work on wrong building.

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Date
20030812

Time
09:03
Some ‘off the record’ work stories (link via Ultimate Insult). Some of them read like the lamest of Life’s Like That submissions, but there are some gems hidden in there.

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Date
20030812
Yet Another Lame Quiz
Time
09:06
Which Fantasy/SciFi Character Are You? I’m Elrond – a ‘stern yet benevolent organiser.’ Isn’t that nice?

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Date
20030812

Time
09:10
Hong Kong fashion company under fire for Nazi-themed clothing line and store decorations.

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Date
20030812

Time
09:11
Doonebury’s trolling for blog traffic.

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Date
20030812
Flash Thingies
Time
09:13
George Bush is a bad egg.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030812
Riding High on Blogdex
Time
09:13
Should be interesting to see how this pans out: a weblog investigating the effectiveness of penis enlargement pills. Some people are already asking if it’s a clever marketing ploy. See a list of weblogs that link to this.

On a related note, the President of the Australian Society of Plastic Surgery has said that men seeking surgical penis enlargement are showing ‘profound psychological disturbance.’ Best stick with the pills, then.

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Date
20030812

Time
09:18
The Game Show Network is offering lesser-known candidates for Governor of California a chance to debate en-masse live on TV. The show is quite cleverly titled Who Wants to Be Governor of California?

You might also want to check out porn-star candidate Mary Carey’s official election site when the boss isn’t watching. Shall I tempt you with a platform sample?

1. Legalize gay marriage in California. This will generate a tremendous amount of revenue for the state as a honeymoon destination.

UPDATE – See a picture or Mary Carey chatting with fellow candidate Mathilda Karel Spak (100) while they wait for their paperwork to clear.

Finally, more anti-Arnie bits and bobs for you to enjoy. Seems folks are on the lookout for any footage of Mr Schwarzenegger misbehaving on UK television.

OK folks, can we help out on this one?

UPDATE – Found some screengrabs. See Arnie wrestling with Denise van Outen here and here. All in good fun.

Oh, and have you seen this at your local news stand today? Does it scare you as much as it scares me?

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030812

Time
09:24
Traces of Agent Orange still linger in the Vietnamese food chain.

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Date
20030812
Flash Games
Time
09:58
Play shopkeeper! I was terrible. So much for my planned career in the service industry.

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Date
20030812

Time
10:01
Stray chickens in Bartow, Florida are now officially ‘fair game.’ Can you say ‘buckwheats’ boys and girls?

UPDATE – Do watch out for chickens that can fight back and, hey, let’s be careful out there.

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Date
20030812
Online Marketing
Time
10:09
Read about B3tans whoring themselves in the online advertising world. It does irk me slightly that the B3ta mods tend to shun all commercial executions – unless of course it’s made by one of the B3ta mods. OK, it’s their site, but the hypocrisy doesn’t sit well.

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Date
20030812

Time
14:16
A man claiming to be Saddam Hussein’s sorcerer has predicted that the former dictator will be found dead in the village of Dhuluaiyah (55 miles north of Baghdad). He has also asked not to be identified. We can probably assume from this that Saddam has more than sorcerer – or just one very stupid one.

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Date
20030812
Doing The Rounds
Time
14:53
You should be getting a copy of this link (or a screen grab of same) in the mail anytime now.

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Date
20030812

Time
17:11
You’ve probably already read about the sentencing of Luke Sadowski the 19-year-old who tried to buy a 9-year-old girl for sexual purposes.

Seeing the footage of his arrest was even scarier. The kid looked completely distanced from reality. Just about every aspect of the case is mind-boggling, from the borderline entrapment to the light sentencing.

Now someone has just posted the following to the Popbitch board:

Luke Sadowski’s mother is a social worker. His father is a child psychologist.

If it’s true (remember, we are talking about Popbitch here), then we may very well drown in saliva when The Sun starts frothing at the mouth about it.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030813

Time
09:12
This NYT article (submitted by Nic) requires registration, so here’ s a quote to wet your whistle:

“In a lame attempt to be hip, pols are posting soggy, foggy, bloggy musings on the Internet. Inspired by Howard Dean’s success in fund-raising and mobilizing on the Web, candidates are crowding into the blogosphere – spewing out canned meanderings in a genre invented by unstructured exhibitionists.”

If you can get past the sarky attitude, this article does make a few good points worth pondering, and is rare in that it points out that Howard Dean doesn’t actually post much himself.

If you want political blogging to go in the right direction, if you want your local elected officials to speak to you like a human being, then the first step is up to you. A good blog starts with the right motivation.

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Date
20030813
Riding High on Blogdex
Time
09:19
Everyone’s worried about the W32.Blaster.Worm – and rightly so.

Apparently it’s a right bugger to fix and Microsoft aren’t able to help a heck of a lot. A chap at work has an infected machine at home. He (just barely) managed to power up and patch, the log files showed a successful correction, but the infection remains.

Watch for updates, and watch your step.

UPDATE – Justin successfully removed this little bastard of a virus from his ‘puter last night and has provided this useful link for the afflicted. Cheers, mate.

Oh, there’s also this info page from The Washington Post.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030813

Time
09:24
Ralph Nader has copped a pie in the face the day after it was whispered that he claimed that the September 11th terrorist attacks wouldn’t have happened if he had been president (scroll down).

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030813

Time
09:27
A (very) close look at vinyl addressed ‘to the people who are still in love with their vinyl collections.’

Wonderful stuff. Sadly, I had to leave my vinyl collection behind when I left Australia – it simply wouldn’t have survived the extremes of temperature your average shipping container is subjected to.

I hope one day to be reunited with my vinyl. It’s in trustworthy hands, but it did come close to disaster during a recent bushfire. Yes, I lost sleep as a result.

Pretty sad, huh?

Even sadder, I think it would be a good idea to transfer vinyl recordings to MP3 so even tech-heads can enjoy their favourite tracks as God intended them.

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Date
20030813

Time
09:35
I don’t know which way to spit!

Did you know that Fox News registered ‘Fair & Balanced’ as a trademark in 1995?

!!!

Now an author wants to take a look at this ridiculous state of affairs but Fox is suing him over the title.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030813
It’s War! And Things Is Getting Ridiculous!
Time
09:38
Activist fined $10,000 for going to Iraq to protest the war. He thought the fine was $500, but authorities have record-clubbed his ass by jacking up the price. That’ll learn him.

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Date
20030813

Time
09:40
Bust a move with Rippin’ Richie at popandlock.com!

The site includes hints and tips for improved body-popping endurance, details about his instructional DVD (will teach you how to pop, wave, glide and do the ‘King Tut’ – with no shipping charges for a limited time only) and his thoughts on politics and religion.

You’ll want to check out his ‘not-at-all-typical 9/11 song’ – it’s a wonder to behold.

It also magically sticks in your head, like all good songs should.

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Date
20030813

Time
09:50
American tourists scared by hi-tech Japanese toilets.

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Date
20030813

Time
09:53
Like lists? Here are the fifty worst worst artists in music history according to US music magazine Blender. I’m sure you’ll find at least one inclusion to object to.

Get yourself a free copy of Blender and write a letter of complaint to the editor. It won’t silence the voices, but it may kill an hour or two.

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Date
20030813

Time
10:14
Stand by for cynicism…

Last night, this story was presented by the BBC as a terrorist plot to shoot down Air Force One.

Pardon? How’s that work then?

Everybody except the dealers involved were government operatives in on the sting, from the Russians who sold it to missile, to the customs agents who allowed it through – even the bloody buyer was an FBI agent!

The threat to Air Force One is now being played down, but I’m willing to bet it was presented as part of the sales pitch (‘Just imagine what this baby could do!’).

We also have a high-risk-completely-genuine-not-all-all-to-do-with-PR terror threat going on and a scheduled terror test on the tube.

OK, the danger is there, but the timing of some previous alerts and exercises (like rolling tanks into Heathrow the day before the biggest peace march in this country’s history) has a lot of people wondering what is real and what is rubbish.

That, I would think, is a threat in itself.

UPDATE – Ionicus remembers the tank stunt, too – and wonders quietly why we never heard anything about the supposed threat, where it came from and where it went to…

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Date
20030813

Time
11:42
Heads up! The Hutton Inquiry has its own website! Cheers to Andy who’s minding the fort for Tom.

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Date
20030813

Time
13:38
A ‘5 Questions’ blog-interviewing meme is doing the rounds. Sadly, my link in the chain is weakened by my lack of permalinks and a comments function, so allow me to present the passage of this meme from its origins to my blog by way of apology:

I found out about it via bar room philosophy, who picked it up from Green Fairy, who learned of it from Feministe, who cottoned on via Swirlspice, who was infected via Kathy Howe who plucked it from the source at Cornelia Smith’s weblog.

Here are the rules. To play, you will need your own weblog or online journal.

1. If you want to participate, leave a comment saying “interview me” (in my case, of course, you will have to send me an email…).

2. I will respond by asking you five questions – each person’s will be different.

3. You will update your weblog/journal with the answers to the questions.

4. You will include this explanation and an offer to interview others in the same post.

5. When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions.

Now, without further ado, I present my answers to the questions from Justin at bar room philosophy.

1. Imagine you have been given unlimited funds and resources in order to make the world a better place. How would you go about it?

Can I rephrase that to ‘considerable funds and resources’? With unlimited resources, I’d simply be able to distribute them evenly – as generously as I wished – and then take the rest of the day off (so I could listen to all of the people complaining that what I gave them wasn’t enough).

2. Blow your own trumpet. What is your greatest contribution to the field of human endeavour?

Well, rooty-toot-toot! I’ve made well over a million people happy in one way or another, but I’d probably place more importance on the few people I’ve inspired to go out and do the same thing. Does that blow enough?

3. Name a world record you would like to be the owner of and why.

Best-selling book of all time – because the Bible has held the title for far too long. The money would come in handy, too.

4. Your blog or daylight. Which would you rather go without for a month?

Only a month? Pass the sun lamp.

5. If you were forced to, which of your five senses would you give up? Why that sense?

Humour. It would allow me to finally go into politics.

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Date
20030814

Time
09:27
Hanging Day on the demise of Lady Mosely. Altogether now:

Who do you think you are kidding Independent?

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Date
20030814
It’s War! And Somebody’s Telling Porkies!
Time
09:29
Is the White House manipulating Iraqi intelligence?

They seem to have a fair amount of influence over UK intelligence, albeit by sucking Tony Blair dry of his.

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Date
20030814
Only Interesting to Bloggers
Time
09:31
Andrew Orlowski lays in with some Winer-bashing.

A glowing review for Typepad with one minor grumble. He’s right – the Amazon linkage is a bit cheeky.

Finally, cheers to Wordlab for the kind mention (and to Simon for the heads-up).

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Date
20030814
Riding High on Blogdex
Time
09:38
Top link today: Google’s clever little conkulator.

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Date
20030814
Old News
Time
09:39
Yesterday was International Left Handers Day and National Underwear Day. Hands up everyone else who missed it (i.e. right-handed people who forgot to wear underwear).

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Date
20030814

Time
09:44
Old nutter spends thousands of dollars putting up ‘Thank God for Fox News’ billboards. He wants to wake the young folks up.

On the opposite end of the nutter spectrum, may I present this report of the US Air Force flying Saddam Hussein out of Baghdad?

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Date
20030814

Time
09:47
Hooray! It’s the Young Communist League U.S.A. to the rescue. Read some fun poetry or find out how to start your own club. Even better, simply join online. Another witch-hunt can’t be too far way, and you’ll want to have your name on those all-important membership lists.

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Date
20030814
Follow Up
Time
09:53
SFGate reports on the Elite Force Dubya action figure. It’s not a toy, it’s an ‘adult collectible item.’

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Date
20030814

Time
09:55
Christian school pressured to fire principal. He took a long line of young ladies to ‘Disney’ and back.

I don’t understand. Do they mean Disneyland, Disneyworld, EuroDisney… or are they merely speaking figuratively?

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Date
20030814
Flash Games
Time
10:00
Pretend to be an old lady who likes crisps. It’s pretty boring, but at least it sucks.

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Date
20030814

Time
10:01
Malaysia to ban the cooking of food, the washing of clothes and the lighting of fires in public toilets. You will also be fined heavily if you fail to flush.

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Date
20030814

Time
10:03
Young, gifted and entrepreneurial? Up to £30,000 in grant money is up for grabs. Please form an orderly line behind me.

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Date
20030814
Tony Blair’s Email
Time
13:03
A little bloody recognition wouldn’t go astray. (Sits down to type angry email…)

BTW, Tony’s development team is running out of August. I sent a polite reminder by email this morning.

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Date
20030815
Flash Thingies
Time
09:02
Why voting for Ah-nold you should be doing. There’ll be quite a few of these in the coming weeks. Maybe even one from me.

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Date
20030815
Tony Blair’s Email
Time
09:03
Yet more media attention for Tim Yeo the campaign hijacker. Thankfully, most people who hear about him this way will search for his name in Google or Yahoo. The real story is only one step away, and here’s one blogger who took that short journey.

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Date
20030815
It’s War! And Somebody’s Telling Porkies!
Time
09:05
Won’t somebody pleeeeeeease think of the troops?

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Date
20030815

Time
09:09
Major power outage hits New York, other large cities. I can’t wait to see the first photo-blog from this.

UPDATE – Here’s more from the BBC and an interesting theory about the Great Northeast Blackout of November 9, 1965. Did anybody see any lights in the sky while they were out looting?

UPDATE 2 – Hooray for TTR2! They found this photo-blog of the blackout. Everybody appears to be having a wonderful time.

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Date
20030815
Flash Thingies
Time
09:10
Go ahead, just try to sleep at night after watching this.

Incidentally, I woke up this morning and found myself reaching for my blankie. Then it struck me – I was cold! Cold! Three hours later, and there’s still a cheery nip in the air. Oh blessed relief!

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Date
20030815

Time
09:13
500 Chilean tarantulas abandoned at Mexico City’s international airport. 135 are already dead, 20 have been donated to Chapultepec zoo. A local wildlife centre is taking care of the rest, but if you’re in the area and would like a potentially lethal pet, then drop by and see if you can adopt one.

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Date
20030815

Time
09:21
Cloning Yields Human-Rabbit Hybrid Embryo.

Pfizer’s stock will plummet as a result, you mark my words.

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Date
20030815

Time
09:24
Police reacting to noise complaint arrive to find naked man and woman covered in blood. He claimed to be making a porno film, but the officers failed to find any video equipment.

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Date
20030815

Time
09:26
Drop by the Retrolounge for a heady taste of yesteryear. Things were better in them days, yessiree Bob.

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Date
20030815
Follow Up
Time
09:28
Re: ‘Fair & Balanced’

People. Are. Funny.

I couldn’t resist. Front page tagline duly updated.

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Date
20030815

Time
09:30
Love Is Only Sleeping – Sleepy Jean’s ‘secret oasis of love and clairvoyant understanding.’ Offers art, poetry, information about her past lives, plus lots and lots of Monkee-love. I weep for poor Mike Nesmith. Can you imagine the fan mail he gets from this woman?

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Date
20030815

Time
09:41
Ahahahahahahaha! TV stations in California who broadcast any Arnold Schwarzenegger movies would have to allow other candidates equal time.

So, no Arnie movies to be shown in California until October 7th. Nice to see some good has come of this ridiculous charade.

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Date
20030815
Tony Blair’s Email
Time
15:06
The Torygraph, unsurprisingly, puts it down to Tory intervention. Silicon.com simply accepts that it’s on the way without asking themselves why.

I’m feeling decidedly unappreciated today. FFS, doesn’t anybody do research anymore?

18-31 July, 2003 (includes Blogathon 2003)

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Date
20030718

Time
09:20
Meet Saint Cloud’s own personal version of Superman. He doesn’t leap over tall buildings, but somewhere in his busy schedule, he does find time to stand on street corners and wave at passing traffic. Quite foolishly, he reveals his secret identity on the site, but because his flatmates Jim and Bern got angry about him publishing their phone number on the site, you can now only make contact (and enquires about possible romance) by email. Visit the photo gallery and leave a comment if you have the time. This man needs your support.

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Date
20030718
Photoshopping
Time
09:26
Fark competition: What would the world be like if everyone bought spammers’ products?

Also, Andy emailed and asked where I’ve hidden my page about photoshopping techniques.

Answer: the link keeps moving because it’s presented at the tail end of the ever-expanding Star Wars Photoshopping Project. I suppose I really should put a link at the front page of the general photoshopping gallery, but in the meantime you can find this semi-educational page by clicking here.

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Date
20030718

Time
09:33
The Elliott Avedon Museum and Archive of Games is a fantastic collection of games and game-related objects. I found the collection of board games based on TV shows the most enlightening. There’s even a M*A*S*H game. There are also a few blank spaces. If you have a unique board game lurking in your attic, the museum gratefully accepts donations.

In fact, I dimly recall buying a Jason Donovan dating board game of some sort a year or so back at a boot sale. I may just wrap it up and send it off to its ultimate destiny.

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Date
20030718
Go Figure
Time
09:41
Tatu are fighting over a boy and Drew Barrymore likes girls.

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Date
20030718

Time
09:43
Man fined for leaving 65 ducks and geese in a motel room. He was a hunter, so you know the story isn’t going to be as fun as it first seems.

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Date
20030718
It’s War! And Somebody’s Telling Porkies!
Time
09:56
FBI hassles/intimidates man for daring to read this ‘Weapons Of Mass Stupidity’ article in public.

You may want to take a look over your shoulder before reading this report on CIA Director George Tenet’s appearance before members of Congress. Or this one. Mind you, the assertions/admissions he makes conveniently absolve George Bush of everything but stupidity, so perhaps you should make the effort to read something more subversive.

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Date
20030718

Time
09:58
Man commits suicide after girlfriend falls in love with his online alter ego. Tim better watch out. I’ve had my eye on his wife for years…

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Date
20030718
Blogathon 2003 – Friday Feedback
Time
11:06
Blogathon 2003 – Friday Feedback

Our mystery donor is a new reader by the name of Mirjam.

She emailed me a while back, but I must admit to completely forgetting her name in the hustle and bustle of the last two weeks.

Mirjam doesn’t have a website (yet) and operates from an undisclosed location in the North Sea, so I’m going to ask you to instead send some positive vibes via the following sentence. Please concentrate on it as hard as you can and picture wonderful things happening to her:

Today, I want something magical to happen to Mirjam

Right, karma addressed, let’s get down to business…

Click here to sponsor me for the 2003 Blogathon!

Over the 24 hours of the Blogathon, I’ll be answering 48 questions from readers. I’m still quite a few questions short of the target.

Click here to submit a question by email!

To give you a taster, I’m going to answer a general question Rod sent in this morning:

Q: How do I develop a link format that will generate more traffic? Does this question even make sense?

A: That’s actually two questions, but I’ll let it slide just this once. A good example of a link generation tool is the quiz format (used by many bloggers and webmasters to promote their site).

This format was investigated in the early days of Bloggerheads with Which M*A*S*H Character Are You?

This quiz has reached approximately 100,000 individual visitors over the last year or more and is still being discovered by between 100-200 new visitors each and every day.

You may also note that the ‘cut and paste’ code format has been used on a number of campaigns here at Bloggerheads, from the overt request for link whorage as part of the Raging Cow campaign to the more subtle inclusion of the ‘cut and paste’ feature in the recent campaign to get senators blogging.

However – and here’s the tricky bit – you need to provide some pretty solid motivation for people to actually take the trouble to include such a link on their website. In fact, most of the inbound links to Bloggerheads or bits and bobs created here have managed to crop up without the aid of this small tool of convenience. Good examples being The Star Wars Photoshopping Project and JPEG Baby, which contain no referral mechanisms and simply earn inbound links on the strength of the content alone.

So, the link format itself is easy enough to create (the code is pretty common and easy-to-understand stuff), but what will really drive its success is the very content it is meant to drive traffic to.

Is it interesting? Is it original? Is it something people are going to want to share?

That should be your main focus.

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Date
20030718
It’s War! And Somebody’s Going To Pay!
Time
11:16
Earlier this week, Dr David Kelly denied being the BBC’s primary source regarding this governments sexing-up of the dodgy dossier. Yesterday, he went missing. Today, a body has been found.

I can’t do better than quote Mark on this:

“Gentlemen, start your conspiracy theories!”

UPDATE – Actually, this has now been topped by The Boozehound, who linked to this story with the following:

“COUGH*assasinated*COUGH”

I’ve instructed a few folks nearby to follow this link and refresh often, so they can watch this spread through the blogosphere. Linkage on Blogdex bears watching, too. It should top the chart within a few hours.

UPDATE – The image of Alastair the Assassin seems to have struck a chord. It’s front page at B3ta.com (precise link for archive purposes is here) and Wibbler has also been nice enough to give it a fully credited airing.

An hour after its creation, it’s also No.2 on the Lycos new release chart, just under this quite cool flash game: Gravity Ball.

Note to Piers Morgan: Ask me nicely. I may surprise you.

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Date
20030718

Time
13:01
I’m trying to keep mention of Tim Yeo to a minimum on this blog, because now the man has a weblog completely dedicated to him, there’s no point boring you with bits and bobs here day after day.

I would like to point out, however, that the Tim Yeo Weblog has now cracked the top sport for searches for ‘tim yeo’ in Google.

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Date
20030718

Time
14:47
More on Dr Kelly and the body that may or may not be his:

CNN | Guardian Timeline | Independent | Viewer views from Sky News

If the body is confirmed to be Dr Kelly’s, wouldn’t it be odd if the time of death was established as being sometime during Blair’s speech to Congress?

UPDATE – Kelly: Blair promises public inquiry from plane out of Washington. And (ahem) ‘Alastair Campbell, who usually travels with Mr Blair, is not on the plane.’

And… ‘A man may have died as a result of the government’s contempt for one of the cornerstones of democracy – a free and independent press.’

I wonder how much email Andrew ‘high court of parliament’ MacKinlay is getting today…

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Date
20030718

Time
16:17
One for the conspircay theorists: Eleven microbiologists mysteriously dead over the span of just five months. Possibly twelve.

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Date
20030718

Time
16:36
Today we have at least one visitor from the Australian Department of Agriculture, Fisheries and Forestry. Welcome.

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Date
20030718
Tony Blair’s Email – Not Long Now
Time
16:58
Remember those specifications I wrote up for a viable email facility for Tony Blair?

Well, take a look at what they’ve just introduced for George Bush:

http://www.whitehouse.gov/webmail

They’ve put a fair amount of filtering on the front end, and a few people are bitching about that (link requires registration), but I think the level of demand warrants it.

Still, with such a thing, there should be a facility that allows people to suggest a new subject/category, even if they don’t send an email.

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Date
20030718

Time
17:20
David Kelly: And herrrrrrrrrre comes the media!

Wibbler.com tells us that Jon Snow got a bit ahead of himself when he opened the afternoon news on Channel 4 with:

“MoD ‘mole’ missing – body found: Did he take his own life? Was he killed, did he die of a heart attack?”

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Date
20030719

Time
23:58
I was kind of expecting it, but this announcement really hit me like a ton of bricks. It’s the saddest I’ve felt for a person in a very long time.

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Date
20030720
A Blog Is Born
Time
00:02
It’s always interesting to happen across a blog just as it gets going. Especially one that links you favourably at its inception. You can’t help but wonder exactly what it is that you’ve started.

I’m not entirely sure where this one came from or where it’s going, but it does intrigue me.

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Date
20030721

Time
09:29
1am

Total blackout.

Torches aren’t easy to find, as some recent work on the kitchen cabinets means that nothing is where it is supposed to be.

I call directory enquiries:

“Directory enquiries, what name please?”

“Hello, we’ve got a bit of a blackout here. Is there a hotline number for Seeboard Energy?”

“Yes.”

“Could you possibly connect m*

click

“The. Number. Is. 0. 8. etc.”

I lay my hands on what I assume to be a pen and scribble down the number, deciding to worry later about what I’m actually writing on and whether or not I’ll be able to read the number when I eventually lay my hands on a torch. That done, I wait to get reconnected:

“Directory enquiries, what name please?”

“Hi. Lady, it’s pitch black here. I was lucky to find the telephone at all. Next time someone calls to ask for a hotline number during a blackout, and they ask to be connected, could you maybe connect them, please?”

“I’m sorry, sir, we can’t do that. But if you call…”

(Woman begins to rattle off long phone number as I hang up in disgust…)

Late night. Long night.

I’ll be on deck and blogging soon.

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Date
20030721
Riding High on Blogdex
Time
11:30
I was ejected from a plane for wearing “Suspected Terrorist” button.

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Date
20030721

Time
12:01
Another blackout. My site is served locally, so your mileage may vary today.

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Date
20030721
The Political Weblog Movement
Time
12:02
This Backbench bloggers article headed in the wrong direction the moment it referenced Howard Dean (who, despite having a pretty good story to tell, is not the best example of a blogging politician).

Still, it repeats a few good key points, so it is worth a look.

Also, the Yorkshire Post got all uppity about political blogs on the 17th. They suggested that instead of wasting time online, MPs should concentrate of more ‘genuine’ forms of direct communication. I’d link to the article, but there isn’t a copy online. Make of that what you will, or check out Richard Allan’s weblog for some comments on this.

Finally, with many folks running for cover and many more yelling to heard above the overwhelming din of media speculation surrounding the shocking death of Dr David Kelly, I’d just like to say that it’s refreshing to be able to read a personal reaction that hasn’t been reduced to a series of soundbites.

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Date
20030721

Time
12:03
Sign this. You’ll feel better.

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Date
20030721
Photoshopping
Time
12:03
I had a cracker of an idea for a Photoshopping project last night, just before the lights went out. I was watching one programme while listening to the soundtrack of another.

I’m going to poke around for source images today, but keep the theme under my hat until the weekend (I’d like to roll the majority of material out as part of this weekend’s Blogathon).

1. You’ll be happy to hear that it’s nothing to do with Star Wars

2. The more sponsorship I get, the more images I’ll produce.

I’ll probably drop a teaser sometime in the next few days. Watch this space.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030721

Time
12:10
I’m still trying to work out what this is all about. Let’s see what they post today and go from there.

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Date
20030722

Time
09:11
I have a small technical problem with email at the mo. They’re coming in fine, but not all of them seem to be allowed to go out and play.

So, if you’ve emailed me recently and I haven’t answered – that’s probably why.

BTW, I still need more questions for the Blogathon this weekend. Ever wondered anything about Bloggerheads? Click here to ask.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030722

Time
09:14
Judge places slum lord under house arrest – in her own dilapidated, vermin-infested building.

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Date
20030722

Time
09:15
BBC: Can blogs be truly mainstream? Some great reader comments at the tail. A highlight:

“The great thing about blogs is that anyone can set one up. The only problem is that anyone can set one up.”

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030722

Time
09:18
Are you a Transformers collector? Do your friends make fun of you? Do you have any friends? Worry ye not, for it has been declared that collecting Transformers is cool – just look at all the sexy babes that are into it.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030722
Flash Music Video
Time
09:21
Shii’s song. Please try not to cry or throw heavy objects at your screen.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030722

Time
09:22
Man arrives at DMV for driving test and crashes into building. His licence was immediately revoked.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030722

Time
09:25
Take a closer look at the London Underground. The original map, the current map, and how the system really looks.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030722

Time
09:27
More reactions to the new email system for George Bush. Hope this negative press doesn’t make the communications team at Downing St too jumpy. I’m looking forward to that promised August delivery date.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030722
It’s War! And Things Is Getting Ridiculous!
Time
09:29
“I think all foreigners should stop interfering in the internal affairs of Iraq.” – U.S. Deputy Defense Secretary Paul Wolfowitz

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Date
20030722

Time
09:31
Man convicted of intimidation after mailing raccoon head to school principal.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030722

Time
09:32
The best weblogs contain at least a small measure of personal expression. Here’s a jolly good example.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030722
Riding High on Blogdex
Time
09:34
Bloggers Select The 20 Greatest Figures In American History. Actually, that should read ‘Right-Wing Nutbags Select The 20 Greatest Figures In American History.’

Patton’s in there, and Ronald Reagan ties for 1st place.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030722
Christianity Watch
Time
09:51
You may remember me mentioning my rather eclectic religious upbringing. One part of this was growing up opposite a Baptist church. Convenient for Sunday School but boy, did they lay it on thick.

It was a very conservative church (they used Ribena for communion), but they had a kid’s corner that was well-stocked with religious comic books. Most of all, I remember the Christian Archie comics, but there were also comic versions of books like ‘The Cross and the Switchblade’ (featured the all-time best comic book cover speech bubbles of all time):

“I could cut you up right now, preacher!”

“Yes you could, Johnny, and every piece of me would still love you…”

This collection is far from comprehensive, but when it does feature a book, it features the entire book (in PDF format). Quite heavy on the bandwidth, but if you have the time and capacity you should check out at least one of these.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030722
Follow Up
Time
09:54
Search for ‘chilham sports cars’ in Google and chilhamsportscars.com (see archived entry for last Thursday) is in the top spot. Now we watch and wait for the fur to start flying, I suppose.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030722
It’s War! And Somebody’s Telling Porkies!
Time
09:56
Recently declassified intelligence report from Oct 2002 says defeated Hussein would be a threat.

“Saddam, if sufficiently desperate, might decide that only an organization such as al Qaeda, . . . already engaged in a life-or-death struggle against the United States, could perpetrate the type of terrorist attack that he would hope to conduct,” reads one passage.

Let’s pretend for a moment that Iraq did indeed have WMDs.

1. Why didn’t he use them?

2. Where did they go?

Oops.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030722

Time
10:04
In reaction to the “What Would Jesus Drive?” campaign, a pro-SUV group is launching its own ads celebrating plus-size vehicles. Basically, they’ve found a large and reasonably photogenic man by the name of Jesus. Dear Lord, give me strength…

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030722
Video
Time
10:08
Normally I shy away from overtly commercial work, but this mickey-take of the Honda commercial earns a laugh.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030722
Photoshopping
Time
12:13
“Attention! All personnel!”

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Date
20030723

Time
09:10
Test your psychic powers.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030723

Time
09:10
Enjoy some really bad book covers.

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Date
20030723

Time
09:14
These scratchy, distorted screen captures from M*A*SH seem to have been grabbed from film, but they’re worth seeing just for that top image of Hawkeye waking up from a nightmare. Klinger praying is a cracker, too. Hell, it’s almost art.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030723
Riding High on Blogdex
Time
09:16
No. 1: Saddam’s killed in northern city of Mosul. A similar item from Fox News snuggles in at No. 2

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Date
20030723
It’s War! And Somebody’s Telling Porkies!
Time
09:20
The BBC has a tape of scientist Dr David Kelly expressing concern about the way Iraq weapons intelligence was presented. Here’s hoping the inquiry is allowed to follow its obvious and natural course.

Alos caught on tape… these Democrats talking about prolonging California’s budget crisis for political gain. There’s quite a busy thread over at Fark about this if you’re up for it.

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Date
20030723

Time
09:25
Amazon has a bold new plan to digitise “tens of thousands” non-fiction books and make the text searchable (requires registration). Looking for that elusive passage or quote? Here’s the result, courtesy of Amazon. Now, how many copies would you like? Shades of IMDB there, here’s hoping they can carry it off.

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Date
20030723
Christianity Watch
Time
09:30
Have you ever wanted to tell someone about Jesus but just didn’t know where to begin? Why not share the gospel of Jesus through surveys?

The survey they provide really puts its best foot forward. First question:

1. Do you believe that abortion is acceptable?

(A) Yes (B) No

However, it does contain a great question to use down at the pub:

10. Name two people who walked on water in the Bible.

I must admit to forgetting that Peter popped out for a quick stroll as well.

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Date
20030723

Time
09:37
Couple accused of abuse after driving 20 miles with two boys in the trunk/boot.

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Date
20030723
Only Interesting to Bloggers
Time
09:39
The Dallas Morning News has launched a group blog for the editorial board.

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Date
20030723
Blogathon 2003
Time
09:42
Thanks go to princess erin the mighty for her kind sponsorship. The wonderful princess erin was an early and effective activist during The ‘Out Of Order’ Project. She was the one who marked the office stationary cupboard ‘out of order.’ Sheer genius.

If you haven’t done so already, click here to sponsor Bloggerheads in the 2003 Blogathon.

From 2pm GMT on Saturday, I’ll be rolling out 24 hours of glorious photoshopping (on a theme that is currently highly classified) and answering (hopefully) 48 questions about me, Bloggerheads, or stuff that’s been done here over the last year or so. I’m still short of questions, so if you’ve ever wondered anything about Bloggerheads, click here to email me your query today.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030724
In The Courts
Time
09:00
Man accused of killing his wife by stabbing her 43 times claims it was self-defence. O-kay…

Porn case film sends juror to sleep. The judge has declared a second mistrial on the case, but perhaps he’s just looking for an excuse to play the film again…

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Date
20030724

Time
09:04
Cartoon of Bush with gun to his head investigated as a possible threat. Relax, the bullet is sure to pass from one side to the other without hitting anything vital.

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Date
20030724

Time
09:07
Scientists are developing a mind-controlled wheelchair. Where’s my silver jumpsuit and flying car? I wish these guys would get their priorities sorted.

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Date
20030724

Time
09:09
Psychic fails to detect undercover investigator. The investigation was started after a woman complained that she had been diddled out of $20,000 in cash and gifts.

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Date
20030724

Time
09:11
Deep links are legal in Germany.

While we’re poking around El Reg, this is kind of related:

Here’s someone else expressing doubts about the influence of bloggers. I think he’ll find his results are pretty temporary. Unless everyone starts talking about it, of course…

The playing field will level out when businesses (finally) realise that this is a two-way communications channel and merely speaking to us like human beings can significantly improve their standing in Google.

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Date
20030724

Time
09:17
Young, single and gifted? Why waste your time consorting and breeding with the lower castes when goodgenes.com stands ready to match you with a partner of equal standing?

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Date
20030724

Time
09:20
Man drives 30km holding almost severed head in place. Would have been great if he’d been pulled over…

While we’re on the roads, read about the man who died by getting run over by a van and then suffering a crash when that same van was driving him to hospital.

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Date
20030724

Time
09:22
Man dies, taking vital network passwords to the grave. This has happened before, and I’m sure I blogged it.

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Date
20030724

Time
09:29
Michael Jackson says that illegal downloaders should not face jail and this female Michael Jackson impersonator looks like Donny Osmond.

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Date
20030724

Time
09:32
Today is National Shopping Day here in the UK. The Guardian’s come on board with this write up, and I’m currently doing by best to deal with the choice of Melinda Messenger as the poster child for this shop-a-thon. Still:

1. The campaign isn’t aimed at hardcore cynics like me, it’s meant to reach the frightened bunnies that regard the beige monster in the corner with a mixture of suspicion and fear.

2. At least Carol Vorderman isn’t involved.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030724
Blogathon 2003
Time
09:39
A mysterious being known as Penfold74 has kindly joined my list of sponsors. Thank you!

Get your questions in for the Blogathon! (Ask anything you’ve ever wondered about me or Bloggerheads.)

Sponsor me for the Blogathon!

I’ll be watching The Swamp very closely during the Blogathon, for reasons I’m sure you are beginning to suspect.

Oh, thanks to ickle for the rather dodgy photoshop. Close, but no banana, sorry.

You wait until you see this new theme. Yes, M*A*S*H is involved, but I’ve added a new twist to make the work truly, truly wondrous. It will blow your mind.

You’ll smile, you’ll laugh, you’ll swallow. I guarantee it.

Finally, if you’re in two minds about sponsoring me, may I suggest that you don’t? Tom Watson is doing something much more interesting and worthwhile on the day, so you should probably throw a few bucks his way instead.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030725
Riding High on Blogdex
Time
08:53
‘Blogs’ shake the political discourse. I got a heads-up about this yesterday from Wibbler, too.

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Date
20030725

Time
08:55
And you thought Raging Cow was, like, totally extreme? Hah! Nobody does flavoured milk promotion like the Latvians. Check out Crazy Milk. Erm, to the max. Or something.

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Date
20030725

Time
08:59
Martin’s had a rough day, but he still takes the time to make me blush. What a sweetie.

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Date
20030725
It’s War! And Somebody’s Telling Porkies!
Time
09:00
Bill Clinton on Bush Iraq/uranium claim:

“You know, everybody makes mistakes when they are president.”

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Date
20030725

Time
09:03
Miss Norway sent to wrong city – in wrong country – for Miss Universe final.

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Date
20030725

Time
09:07
Shaving Industry Lies claims that women’s razor’s are sharper than mens, and even goes so far as to suggest how you can make such a razor seem more butch. (So you can use one without people laughing at you. In your bathroom.) Attaching plastic army figures seems like a good start, but perhaps you can do better.

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Date
20030725
Flash Thingies
Time
09:10
Music: You’re cracking my eggs!

Games: Clay KItten Shooting

Enjoy.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030725

Time
09:12
The Guardian explores the global mind. I’m a big believer in global consciousness. I even have an insane notion that Jerusalem is (or was) some form of magnetic pole for this kind of activity.

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Date
20030725
‘Is That Real?’ Etc.
Time
09:16
Mormons! Quality and value await at missionarymall.org! Suits, ties, and accessories galore! (Note: they don’t sell bikes online, but there is a competition that gives you a chance to win one…)

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Date
20030725

Time
09:20
Man charged with petty larceny after stealing pizza, chicken and hot dogs from sister’s freezer.

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Date
20030725

Time
09:33
Ahahahahahahahaha!

The political diarist at The Guardian fell for it. The Mirror fell for it. The Financial Times was also sucked in (and even managed to get the URL wrong along the way). The BBC almost fell for it, but I wasn’t expecting this…

Someone at Private Eye has seen Tom’s Teens page (presumably sometime before we added the commentary at the bottom of the page to help the addled of mind or slow of wit) and fallen for it hook, line, sinker, rod and copy of Angling Times.

One for the scrapbook. Like many other print publications, they’ve also quoted the page in full (without permission).

Right now, I’m wondering if I should write up my first letter to Private Eye – or my first invoice.

UPDATE – Oh, you may also wish to do a quick search for ‘teens politics’ in Google.

UPDATE 2 – Here’s the reaction to this over at B3ta.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030725
Blogathon 2003
Time
09:48
Scott has been kind enough to chip in with a donation, as has one of my government informants, who wishes to remain anonymous. Another chap has emailed wondering if he can make an anonymous donation. Easy enough to do. When you sign up to donate via the link below, you’ll be presented with the option to remain anonymous if you wish:

Sponsor Bloggerheads in the 2003 Blogathon!

Looking at my Blogathon folder, I see 14 emails waiting for me. Unless they contain emails with multiple questions (I’m not letting myself look until tomorrow) we seem well short of the target of 48 questions.

Submit a question to be answered during the Blogathon!

Anything you like, really. Something you’ve wondering about Bloggerheads, about me, or about anything that’s been built and featured here.

Apart from the (hopefully) long list of questions answered, there will also be a total of 12 photoshops on a central theme scattered across the 24 hours of bloggage.

The front page will get too heavy if I start throwing images up as well as a lot of text, so said photoshops will be featured over at the B3ta messageboard with direct links to each thread posted here for easy access.

OK, that’s it. See you tomorrow, 6am Pacific Time, 2pm GMT.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030725
Follow Up
Time
14:39
I blogged a while back that Star Wars Kid had a law suit in the offing, and this link about it at the BBC is all over the place today. A pity the BBC couldn’t be arsed to provide a link to the original article, though.

The four teenagers named in the suit are Michaël Caron, François Labarre, Jérôme Laflamme and Jean-Michel Rheault.

I’m not going to spend the rest of the afternoon hunting them down, but I did find this Jérôme Laflamme, who lives in Charlesbourg (not far from the home town of Star Wars Kid). Unless Jérôme Laflamme is the French equivalent of John Smith, it looks like a pretty fair bet.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030725

Time
14:57
Coca-Cola in India accused of leaving farms parched and land poisoned.

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Date
20030726
FAQ: How to you keep up with the fresh info?
Time
13:56
If you take a look over to your left, you’ll see links to a range of communities, weblogs, weblog aggregators, and link/info portals. I start each and every morning by clicking down my navigation bar and opening each and every one of these in a new window. I’ll then view and blog from these sites pretty much anything that I think regulars would be interested in. If I’m feeling keen, I’ll scan lower down the Blogdex charts to see if anything new is climbing. Technorati gives me a nice snapshot of who’s linking to me on any given day, and this is proving to be a valuable source of fresh links. (Blogs that show an interest in me also show an interest in things than I’m interested in. Interesting, no?)

Cruising the B3ta messageboard always brings up few titbits here and there, as does the usual image surfing that goes into photoshopping. I primarily use Google Image Search for this kind of thing, and because I’m seeking out a specific image or type of image, I’ll dig much deeper into the results than I would with a standard text search. This brings up some wonderfully random sites sometimes.

Finally, people who don’t have weblogs or sites of their own send me email if they discover something new or exciting and want to share the discovery.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030726
The 4007th Project – Image #1
Time
14:00
OK, here’s the first image, as promised. The theme came to me when I was listening to The David Arnold Project and (kind of) watching M*A*S*H.

There’ll be one Bond/M*A*S*H mix-up posted here each hour on the hour until sometime around 1am GMT. After this, we’ll just have to see what comes to me in my addled state.

I don’t want to make the front page too heavy, so sometimes a link will feature instead of the image.

Click here to see a large version of this image over at B3ta.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030726
FAQ: Who will you vote for at the next election?
Time
14:25
Hehehe – I bet you can all guess who asked this question.

My local MP is doing a great job, and has even taken the time to ask a question in parliament on my behalf. Her name is Sue Doughty, and she can pretty much count on my vote at the next election.

I would think, however, that in my particular case politicians should be more concerned about which member or party campaign I work for. Or against. (Tim Yeo, I’m looking in your direction…)

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030726
FAQ: How can I search the archives?
Time
15:04
You can’t. Sorry about that. I like this format, as it automatically hides my archives from Google (‘Thou shalt not pollute or corrupt search engines’). I’ve been thinking for a while about converting to Movable Type (and hiding the archives with noindex/nofollow tags) but it would take at least 6-8 solid weeks to migrate the old archives to the new system.

Perhaps if I win the lottery tonight, I’ll take those 6-8 weeks off work, or hire a few monkeys with typing experience.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030726
The 4007th Project – Image #2
Time
15:05
He has a thriving practice in Fort Wayne… and a fish tank worth One! Million! Dollars!

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030726
FAQ: What is the point? It is the most totally pointless experience I have ever seen!
Time
15:20
You’ve just answered your own question. Thanks. Now I have time to eat a late lunch.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030726
FAQ: What do you read?
Time
16:02
Apart from lots and lots websites, you mean?

I read Private Eye and The Week without fail. I get The Guardian delivered on Mondays and Thursdays (mostly for the New Media and Online sections) and I read The Independent over breakfast on Saturdays and Sundays.

Books are harder to nail down, because I read all sorts of garbage. My favourite author would have to be Douglas Adams. My favourite book is Nineteen Eighty Four by George Orwell.

I don’t sleep well if I drop off reading a book, so I usually read graphic novels when I’m in bed. Batman, Sandman, etc.

From Hell is the best graphic novel I’ve read in the last year, but my favourite remains The Dark Knight Returns.

Oh, and I’m not at all ashamed to admit that I still enjoy Viz, but only because it’s suitably (and increasingly) expensive.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030726
The 4007th Project – Image #3
Time
16:04
“Are you looking for casualties?”

“No. I’m just looking.”

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030726
FAQ: OK, so who really did sing Underneath The Mango Tree in Dr No?
Time
16:22
Monica Van der Syl did the voice dubs for Ursula Andress, but the singing was done by Diana Coupland (see: Bless This House). Oh, and the soundtrack released in 1962 actually features Connery have a crack at this same song.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030726
FAQ: Do you still get email for Tony Blair?
Time
16:51
Yes.

The volume has decreased greatly since the campaign started, but a few people still slip through the net each day. Oh, and some Russian dipweed has this address on a spamming list.

Here are two emails addressed to Tony Blair that arrived yesterday:

From: Esther Ku

Subject: Please leave Isreal allone.

Body: We strongly demand that Israel be allowed to determine her destiny without foreign design forcing its hand.

From: Jafar Seraj

Subject: I will do anything for in iran!!!!!!!!

Body: I am an 18 years old boy from shiraz-iran. Living in iran is very hard. Our family is under pessure and we need about 40000$. I also like to come to you & join to you & be one of your good men. Can you help me ?. I need money very much if you can pay me I will give you an account number. I am looking forward for your agree answer.

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Date
20030726
The 4007th Project – Image #4
Time
16:54
“Flattery will get you nowhere… but don’t stop trying!”

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Date
20030726
FAQ: Do you live off your books?
Time
17:30
Ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha*(breeeeeeeeeeeeeathe)*ahahahahahahahaha!

Erm, no. I make my money just like everyone else in new media – through amateur pornography.

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Date
20030726
FAQ: Where’s this novel you keep promising us?
Time
17:53
Heh. I knew someone would ask about this.

Still in my head, I’m sad to say. Every character, every set piece and the path of the plot that sews them together has been bouncing around up there for months now. I did get some writing done on my recent Dead Blog Holiday, but I haven’t done a heck of a lot since then.

UPDATE – Just poked my nose out into the hall, and yes, the laptop I use for this does have a thin layer of dust on it. Why the laptop? Well, I know that if I sit down at this computer and start on it, then nothing else will get done until it’s finished. And I need to eat.

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Date
20030726
The 4007th Project – Image #5
Time
18:04
BJ Bond.

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Date
20030726
FAQ: Who is your favourite gay icon?
Time
18:26
That’s an interesting question. I wonder if it relates to my correspondence with Cherie Blair

Hmm, let me see… I’m tempted to name Harry Potter or Bob The Builder, but as a considerable amount of courage is required to express a taste for anything but vanilla, I’ll have to pick the one man brave enough to walk off the job and express his desire to become a lumberjack!

PS – Thanks to TTR2 for the sponsorship boost that just came through.

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Date
20030726
FAQ: What… is your favourite colour?
Time
18:54
Heh. Cute. And it is blue.

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Date
20030726
The 4007th Project – Image #6
Time
18:54
BJ vs. Jaws

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Date
20030726
FAQ: What music do you listen to?
Time
19:25
I like a lot of older Australasian bands because I’m an older Australasian.

Australian Crawl, Cold Chisel, Mental as Anything and Split Enz are some perennial favourites. I don’t think I’d be able to name one favourite song, but if I could it would probably be one of the following:

Razor’s Edge – Goanna

When The War Is Over – Cold Chisel

I’m Gonna Release Your Soul – Dave Graney

You Gotta Know – Supergroove

Mountain – Chocolate Starfish

An American Trilogy – Elvis Presley

Beyond the Blue Horizon – Michael Nesmith

On Earth As It Is In Heaven – Ennio Morricone

In the last half-hour, the two songs I enjoyed the most were, Don’t Stop Believing and Science Fiction Double Feature.

The most promising unsigned artists I know of are Anthony Snape and the irrepressible Koit.

Enough?

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030726
FAQ: Does Tim Yeo know you exist?
Time
19:52
Yes. In fact, even if he hadn’t been spotted peeking at the Tim Yeo Weblog by a number of spies inside parliament, there’s still the small matter of naughty images being circulated by his colleagues on a regular basis. He’s just a stubborn cuss is all. He’ll probably apologise when he realises that I mean what I say about stalking him right up until the next election. And beyond. This ain’t over yet.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030726
The 4007th Project – Image #7
Time
19:56
“The name’s Pearce. Hawkeye Pearce.”

Click here to see the mightily big version over at B3ta.

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Date
20030726
FAQ: Daddy or chips?
Time
20:30
Chips are The Daddy!

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Date
20030726
FAQ: Who would you like to spend 8 weeks with in the Big Brother house? (You can have up to 6 others.)
Time
20:58
Oooh, can I? Thanks ever so much:

Willie Aames

Jack T. Chick

Kenneth Copeland

David Icke

and

Kristin Johnson (just in case)

Final choice would be a toss-up between Chris Morris and Mark Thomas.

Are you sure I can’t have seven?

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Date
20030726
The 4007th Project – Image #8
Time
21:00
“He did what to the Aston Martin?”

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Date
20030726

Time
21:28
FAQ: Is Mrs Ireland buying “but it’s for charity, dear” as an excuse for spending 24 hours in front of the ‘puter?

“I was, before all of the rubbish with getting three noisy, rowdy children in to bed rapidly changed my mind!!!!!!! Now, I’m not so sure…”

Mrs Ireland

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Date
20030726

Time
21:38
Well, isn’t this a suprise?

Naked women safari hunt ‘was hoax’

Michael Burdick was the man behind it, and now the Mayor of Las Vegas wants his butt in a sling.

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Date
20030726
FAQ: You’ve mentioned in the past that you used to be a DJ. Did you have some of those lights that flashed in time with the music?
Time
21:58
What, you mean like this? Heh. Yes, I did. And when you dropped one of these in 1989, it cost $24 just to replace the bulbs.

I carried around the standard kit for about two years on weekends (I seemed to spend forever doing weddings at The Sebel Town House). On weekdays, I got to go out and play with a 2000W sound system, complete with a massive lighting rig (par cans, giant mirror ball, alligator, helicopters, scanners and strobes, all hooked up on 18 feet of lightweight truss) and a huge video screen. A pity it mostly went to waste on school kids requesting Milli Vanilli.

Once I hit nightclubs, I usually had a light rig big enough warrant an assistant (altogether now – wooooooooooo) but my main weakness was for screens, because I mostly played music video.

The best club I ever worked in was Dave’s Place in Taren Point, NSW. A fun, no-hang-ups crowd, great staff, all the beer and/or XLR8 I could drink… and TV screens as faaaaar as the eye could see.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030726
The 4007th Project – Image #9
Time
22:00
“No, Mr Pearce. I expect you to die!”

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Date
20030726
FAQ: Do you think you’ll make the full 24 hours?
Time
22:27
That’s a very good question. Just one post every half-hour takes a lot of keeping up. Thank Dog I did most of my images collation for the 4007th Project ahead of time, or I’d be a complete wreck and 12 posts behind by now.

Image-surfing takes a lot of time on a modem, so I’m not sure how much photoshopping there’s going to be after 1am (when I run out of source images). Added to this, my FTP access does have a tendency to drop out on Sundays, it’s going to very much be a case of ‘wait and see.’

Hm.

I think that – if I do make it – it’s going to have to be with much shorter answers.

I’m also a little worried about that time beyond the wee small hours. I always get a bit manic when the only thing holding me up is adrenalin.

(Hey, how about that? You get two answers for the price of one here!)

FAQ: How did you get the nickname ‘Manic’…?

See above.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030726
FAQ: What gave you the idea for starting Bloggerheads?
Time
23:01
Nothing, really. The technology was there to better do what I normally did (boy, it is getting late, isn’t it?), so I grabbed it.

Before this I pumped acres of stuff into Usenet, ran a newsletter for another.com (tell you what, the first person who sends me a copy of a genuine another.com newsletter by Evil Tim wins a free book) and then did reporting on stuff that was buzzing about for Zingin.com (which has since given birth to The Friday Thing.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030726
The 4007th Project – Image #10
Time
23:04
“Look up! Look Down! Look Out!

Click here to see the big one at B3ta.

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Date
20030726
FAQ: What was your first attempt at viral marketing, and did it work or just show you what NOT to do?
Time
23:33
Offline, my first attempt was when I was about 12. I took rolls of those small yellow ‘dot’ stickers and cut wedges out of each one until I had strips and strips of miniature Pac-man stickers for distribution. I had most of the kids in my class wearing them for about a week – then it was back to the beatings.

Online, I’m not entirely sure. But this page from 1998 is still live and doing good work. As you can probably tell, I had yet to discover the wonders of Photoshop (or even anti-aliasing, for that matter).

Given time, I may be able to fire up the old beast and rustle up a screengrab of my first-ever site. In fact, I’ll do this the moment I get a new sponsor on board.

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Date
20030727
FAQ: How many people read your site every day?
Time
00:01
On a good day, I reach about 1,000 people before breakfast. At slower times, it takes me most of the day to reach this many people.

There are about 200 regular readers (people who come back each and every day). Today, 167 of them have showed up.

I did a major traffic rundown on my first blog birthday, and I’ll probably repeat it again this year.

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Date
20030727
The 4007th Project – Image #11
Time
00:02
“As you can see, I’m going to inaugurate a little war.”

Click here to see a massive version at B3ta.

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Date
20030727
FAQ: Are you running out of questions yet?
Time
00:30
Yes. I may have to start talking to myself soon – or scanning through some of Tony’s mail for a few.

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Date
20030727
FAQ: Where do you stand on file sharing, e.g. people downloading music without paying for it?
Time
01:02
I want to send a copy of Bohemian Like You by the Dandy Warhols to a musician who hasn’t heard it. I can and will do it by MP3. I paid for the CD, and the file is being exchanged for reference purposes only because…

I want to do a parody of the track. I’d be producing something genuinely transformative that comments on the original work/artist. I can and would do that.

However…

Just as I wouldn’t want that resulting work lifted then distributed without my consent, I wouldn’t do this same thing to another artist.

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Date
20030727
The 4007th Project – Image #12
Time
01:04
Here’s the last of the 4007th photoshops:

“Goodbye, Farewell and Etc.”

Big one’s over at B3ta.

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Date
20030727
FAQ: Where did the tortoise / military helmet come from?
Time
01:25
It’s a turtle, not a tortoise. There used to be a peaceful, swimming turtly stamp thing up there, but I sourced a tougher turtle and slapped the Full Metal Jacket ‘Born To Blog’ helmet on there when I started getting more militant. I’ve been thinking about phasing it out and making an overdue return to fluffiness, but:

1. I need to raise about $100 to pay the photographer of the picture I really, really want and I’ve been well-short of silly money lately.

2. There’s still quite a lot to be angry about.

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Date
20030727
FAQ: Are you drunk yet?
Time
01:33
I am getting there, but I have to pace myself for obvious reashons.

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Date
20030727
FAQ: Every Aussie I know is able to drink like a fish the night before and be fine, nay, *better* than normal in the morning. How *do* you buggers do it?
Time
01:44
We understand the value of the occasional glass of water.

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Date
20030727
FAQ: Who is the most famous person you ever met?
Time
01:56
Chris Evans who, interestingly, lives just a few miles from my place.

Like to meet? I’d love to spend an hour or so in the pub with Richard O’Brien who, annoyingly, also lives just a few miles from my place. (I see him around from time to time, but I don’t want to be one of those nutbags who waves down celebrities in the street and invites them out for a drink.)

UPDATE – I sneaked past a couple of guards at the Highland Games in 1980 and got within spitting distance of the Queen. Sadly, this doen’t count, as I didn’t have the presence of mind to do any actual spitting while I was there.

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Date
20030727
FAQ: British summer or Australian winter?
Time
02:27
I’d take the British summer, winter and anything in between this climate can throw at me in preference to the uncomfortable extremes in Australia. OK, so the sky has more personality at sunset, but there are nights you can’t sleep and days when it’s not safe to go out between 9am and 2pm without 15+ sunblock. And a shirt. And a big hat. Under an asbestos-lined golf umbrella.

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Date
20030727
FAQ: Which historical figure would have had the best weblog? What would have been on it?
Time
02:57

1. Martin Luther. Uncomfortable truths.

2. Benjamin Franklin. All kinds of loony/great/productive stuff

3. Oscar Wilde. At least twelve policemen. Every single day. Just waiting…

(This question’s from Paul Carr, who launched this awesome blog without telling me about it. It’ll probably go straight onto the navbar when I have sufficient wits about me to dig into code.)

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Date
20030727
FAQ: Do you play a musical instrument?
Time
03:31
No. I’ve tried to pick up a guitar a few times, but every time I do my hands transform into unwieldy claws. It’s not a pretty sight.

I used to play the trombone in the school band, but spent most of my time copying everyone else’s slide movements. To this day, music still looks like a foreign language to me.

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Date
20030727
FAQ: If you were offered a job working for Lego would you take it even if it meant moving to Denmark (or wherever the head office is)?
Time
03:58
Actually, they have a big office in Slough… but I’d probably move to Denmark before I’d move to Slough.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030727
FAQ: How many cups of coffee have you had so far, and how many do you think you will have had by 2pm tomorrow?
Time
04:29
I’m just about to have my first (I’ve been keeping it in reserve). Probably ‘lots,’ give or take ‘a few.’

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Date
20030727
FAQ: If you could invite anyone to your dinner party (dead or alive) who would it be and why?
Time
05:01
Jamie Oliver. Dead. I’d want to prop him up in the corner as a conversation piece – and to keep the flies away from the table.

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Date
20030727

Time
05:15
I’m finally starting to flag after 15+ hours in front of the screen. This isn’t helping matters.

I’ve just run out of questions again, too.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030727
FAQ: Which part of Australia are you from and why did you leave?
Time
05:42
Sydney.

My wife’s English, and we’d talked for a long time about living there for a bit then living here for a bit (when the time was right). The time was right one afternoon when we were living in the Blue Mountains and I’d just left a TV production job. To get any other job in the same industry, we’d have to move much closer to the city. So we moved here instead.

Apart from the growing social injustice and the extortionate cost of living, I quite like it here.

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Date
20030727

Time
06:02
The more I think about it, the more it makes sense.

The perfect choice for the empty fourth plinth is George Orwell.

UPDATE – Or maybe a great big American eagle that fires live ammunition out its arse at random intervals.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030727
FAQ: Why don’t you have an RSS feed?
Time
06:11
Because I’m old and I fear technology. (Actually, I’ve filed this under the never-never zone of an MT upgrade…)

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Date
20030727

Time
06:18
The sun’s coming up. It shouldn’t have bothered. It’s a grey and dreary day. Second wind should be kicking in any time now.

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Date
20030727
FAQ: How do most people find Bloggerheads?
Time
06:25
Most new traffic comes from stuff like the M*A*S*H Quiz, the Star Wars Photoshopping Project and JPEG Baby (currently #23 in Google for ‘love song’).

There are also quite a few people who arrive by following credit or static links from other sites or weblogs.

About 20% of traffic comes in via searches for things like Tony Blair’s email address, mustard man, photoshopping, Star Wars, and how to make money by starting a porn site (see: The Porn Report).

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Date
20030727

Time
06:39
OK, on to more important matters. Cherie singing When I’m 64how did the experts rate her performance?

Actually, did you notice that on the day of the million-strong march in London, Tony was pictured jamming on an electric guitar?

I’m starting to detect a pattern here. In fact, the moment posters go up announcing a West End booking for these two I plan to start stocking up on canned food.

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Date
20030727

Time
07:01
Descriptive text that does this story justice? You’ll be lucky.

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Date
20030727

Time
07:24
Find out how to baptise someone in an emergency.

Book Mimeistry for your next function, and spread the gospel to your friends and co-workers through the international language of mime.

“…and here you can see Joshua trapped inside a box, much like we all feel trapped in this modern world. Now Joshua is walking against the winds of ignorance, and yes, yes, children I think we’re about to see something very special now – and there it is! Only three people in the world can perform this very difficult manoeuvre, but you can go home and tell your parents that today you saw ‘Jesus on a rubber cross’ performed before your very eyes.”

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Date
20030727

Time
07:28
I can’t slee-eep at ni-ight,

Keep seeing men all dressed in white.

And they won’t let my girlfriend talk to me…

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030727

Time
07:50
This A-Team in Star Wars strip hurts my brain, but I cannot look away.

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Date
20030727
The ‘Out of Order’ Project
Time
08:46
Can anyone tell me when the last episode of the latest series of friend was recorded? For instance, was it any time after this was cut loose in March?

Normally I wouldn’t jump on a shot as long as this but:

1. The timing seems to be on the money.

2. I’m feeling a rather strange right now.

3. Everything that happens or appears in shot is a sitcom happens or appears for a reason (e.g. it only ever snows when somebody gets snowed in – or when it’s Christmas) and the broken-down pinball machine wasn’t used or referenced at all. It just appeared prominently in shot. Eight times.

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Date
20030727
Riding High on Blogdex
Time
08:59
Two brilliantly subversive ideas for you to enjoy: Son of Napster and the Corporate Fallout Detector.

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Date
20030727

Time
09:15
Hm. Only 5 hours to go. I may just make it. I’d need some of the folks just waking up to send in some more bloody questions, though.

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Date
20030727

Time
09:35
Going shopping? See a wholesaler! An extra 20,000 pairs of Nikes never goes astray, and wouldn’t you just hate to wake up one morning and find yourself down to your last drum of Chlormadinone Acetate CP95? Buy now. Buy big!

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Date
20030727

Time
09:45
Try saying Christian Truckers Connection three times really fast, then read the story of the truck driver who thought Jesus was a sissy until a fateful meeting at a roadside diner. It’s Sunday morning. The third wave just kicked in.

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Date
20030727

Time
09:51
Remember now, it’s red poppies for those who suffered and died at war, and black poppies for those who suffered and died in involuntary government-backed zero-trace-evidence experimentation. Tinfoil beanies on, people!

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Date
20030727
FAQ: What’s your best cure for a hangover?
Time
10:05
Orange juice and Vegemite on toast (gentle on the stomach and gives a dual boost of easily digestible sugar and vitamin B12). Ask any Australian about this, and they will tell you that I speak the truth.

Then, you’ll need lots of cold, cold water. And a dark, dark room to hide in. And about 6 more hours of sleep.

Soaking your head in cold water (or using one of those ice packs you only ever see on TV) does wonders for a swollen brain. A toxin-driven hangover will require not one, but two showers. With a Full English Breakfast in between.

FACT: The worst place in the world to wake up with a tequila hangover is a tent in the middle of nowhere on a hot day.

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Date
20030727
FAQ: Thanks for pointing me towards the spiffy Hanging Day blog. Which other blogs do you regularly read?
Time
10:23
If I read it every day, it’s on my nav bar. Apart from that, I just follow my nose.

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Date
20030727

Time
11:11
Are you Rapture Ready? You could be called to heaven at any time, so it pays to keep an eye on the news for signs of the end times. This way, you can make sure that you’re wearing clean underwear on high-risk days.

UPDATE – Actually, that’s not a bad idea. Little colour-code warning buttons just like the terror alert system (here’s a far superior version), but designed to inform the faithful of their likelood to be called home by Jesus on any given day. Run it deadpan, get a good list of sign ups, then cut loose with a code red telling them that the boss is here and they’d better start looking busy.

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Date
20030727
Riding High on Blogdex
Time
11:42
Take a look at George Bush desecrating the U.S. flag.

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Date
20030727

Time
12:05
Two hours to go, and Tom’s still kicking. That coffee I made myself at about 3 or 4 in the morning went cold as I was typing and surfing. I made do with a Red Bull instead.

So, here I am with the most indepth information and mindless perversion known to man at my fingertips. And I’m bored.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030727

Time
12:39
“What’s that, Skip? Sonny’s trapped where?”

UPDATE – Cool, I see swirly bathroom-tile patterns when I close my eyes.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030727

Time
13:02
One hour to go and – quite a bit later than everybody else – I finally discover Firda’s Will Your Survive the Blogathon? quiz. Apparently I stand a 70% chance of making it through the next hour.

Right now, I’m busy planning my approach.

My bed is cleared and there’s plenty of hot water available for a shower. I’ve just scoffed down a healthy (but not too heavy) lunch and I have one fresh question in my Inbox for the second-to-last post.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030727
FAQ: What superpower would you like to have (and what would your super hero/villain name be)?
Time
13:24
Oh, nothing fancy – just simple telekinesis would do.

I don’t think I’d want to be able to juggle Boeings with my mind, just trigger the occasional traffic light. Erm, and perhaps a modest near-fatal cerebral embolism here and there when it’s called for.

What to call me? Well, ‘Sir’ might be a good start…

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030727
Blogathon 2003 – the Finish Line
Time
14:00
Well, it’s been a gas. I have no idea how ratted this is going to leave me tomorrow, so as my sign-off task, I’ve updated the navbars throughout the site to include Paul’s weblog, Hanging Day.

Thanks to all of my Blogathon sponsors and everybody who chipped in with questions and moral support. All in all we raised $164 for Amnesty International.

Probably the hardest I’ve worked for money in a very long time, but let us not forget that I stood defiantly before the clock and kept the ever-present threat of bedtime at bay for the duration.

Let us not overlook the many grand works of art that were unleashed upon the masses in this time.

Above all, let us not…

Ah, sod it.

Bedtime for me. Hometime for you.

‘night all!

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030728
Blogathon 2003 – Aftermath
Time
08:50
Yes, I’m awake – and in surprisingly good shape. For those who missed them, here are the photoshops done for the Blogathon in chronological order. I’ll make a static collection when I have the time.

The 4007th Project:

one | two | three | four | five | six | seven | eight | nine | ten | eleven | twelve

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030728

Time
08:59
Via Hanging Day we learn of Amy Vicker’s departure from The Mirror. Paul points out that the Mirror’s rebranding of the section (previously known as ‘Amy’s I’ – see it for the last time here) may hit trouble, given that ‘iBlog’ already exists as a registered trademark.

Me, I have other concerns. Amy copped a fair bit of stick online (due to The Mirror’s repeated acts of shameless content theft) but – to her credit – she did her best to defend the actions of her paper openly and honestly when interacting with online communities such as B3ta.com

But now Amy works for The Express (owned and operated by Richard Desmond the Pornographer). Will she still be able to interact openly online? Will she be allowed to? In fact, I’m left wondering if her technology section will be published online at all.

UPDATE – Almost forgot. Paul’s also got an excellent piece on the never-dwindling hopes of portals over at The Guardian this morning.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030728
Does What It Says On The Tin
Time
09:16
how-to-bow.com (link via ultimateinsult.net)

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Date
20030728
Only Interesting to Bloggers
Time
09:20
Blog Change Bot is a new monitoring service for AOL Instant Messenger users who want to know the moment when their favourite blogs are updated.

I also got an email during the Blogathon about a new tool that lets technological throwbacks like myself establish an RSS feed – but I lost the link when I was cleaning out the 156 spams I received over the weekend. There’s a pretty good guide to creating an RSS feed including some shortcut options here, but this (new?) service looked pretty spiffy. Could whoever sent it send it again, please? Thanks.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030728

Time
09:28
There’s nothing wrong with a little aggregation here and there but do you really have to suck all the fun out of it?

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Date
20030728
Riding High on Blogdex
Time
09:31
Something screwy is going on with an article over at The Washington Post regarding restructuring in Iraq. There are quite a few links floating about as a result, but this one has the full poop.

Also, a predictable amount of outrage has seen a page featured a 9/11 video game chart well… until the webmaster wisely decided to remove the offending page, that is. Those curious to see what what on offer will still be able to catch the page text in Google’s cache for most of today.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030728

Time
09:37
Man who drove parents’ car into lake faces littering charges.

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Date
20030728
Flash Games
Time
09:41
Alien Hominid (via FunJunkie) is exceptionally bloodthirsty and quite fun, but if you want a brutally simple and addictive game, then take a bite out of the excellent !FISHY!

You’re a small fish. You have to avoid fish bigger than you, because they can and will eat you. However, you can (and will) eat fish that are smaller than you – and as you do, you get bigger and bigger and bigger…

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030728

Time
09:48
Welcome to the 21st Century:

‘Sesame Street’ for grown-ups to teach adults how to fill out forms, balance a checkbook, etc.

7-year-old Taiwanese boy receives treatment for porn addiction.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030728

Time
09:51
For the first time ever, a court has applied traditional property protections to a domain name. We all know how the papers will report it, though… the domain name in question is sex.com

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030728
Been There, Done That
Time
09:53
Keyboard Porn? Sorry, Furniture Porn got there first years ago.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030728

Time
10:04
Life is full of difficult choices.

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Date
20030728
It’s War! And Somebody’s Telling Porkies!
Time
10:04
Prime Minister of Niger denies claims his nation tried to sell uranium to Iraq. He’s also challenged Tony Blair to prove otherwise.

I’m trying to line myself up as Alastair Campbell’s replacement, so here’s a freebie to get things rolling:

Tony, your best bet is to suddenly make the debate all about email scams.

UPDATE – Missing WMDs and Other Deceptions. Be warned that this article was written by a filthy, lying Ay-rab.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030728

Time
10:09
A BBC has just come up with a great idea for a weekly run-down that’s going to run and run and run:

10 things we didn’t know this time last week

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Date
20030728

Time
10:11
Spam e-mailers say they can get around new Louisiana law. I honestly don’t think anything can be achieved by targeting these resilient and unrepentant asshats. Even if there are ironclad laws that make spamming illegal in the U.S., they’ll simply move offshore (it’s not as if they’re going to leave any friends behind or anything).

When local councils in Sydney were having problems with pole posters (a form of street spam put up illegally in the middle of the night to promote bands and DJs appearing at local pubs and clubs) they gave up on trying to catch the culprits in the act and instead prosecuted the people kind enough to put their name and address on the posters.

Spam needs a similar solution; the primary target should be the advertisers.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030728
Flash Games
Time
12:13
Get three workmates and start huddling around the keyboard – now! 4D Pong is here, people – and productivity will never be the same again.

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Date
20030728

Time
14:42
Time to blow the dust off the oldest obit on the shelf: Bob Hope has finally passed on.

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Date
20030728
Photoshopping
Time
18:09
No, I don’t think the lack of sleep has had a pronounced effect on me. Why do you ask?

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030729

Time
08:51
Well, as Paul notes, The Mirror’s iblog has launched, and with just the right shade of desperate neediness:

“I was going to say ‘Welcome to our GREAT new feature etc….’ But that’s for YOU to judge. E-mail this link www.mirror.co.uk/iblog to all your friends.”

(I do wish they wouldn’t SHOUT….)

Of course, this one is bigger and better, because it has not one writer but five; Steve, Ben, Neil, Kev and Naveed. Kind of like the 3am Girls, then. But with less friends.

You may want to pop over and watch the first car-crash of an entry (starts with plug for Orange, then moves swiftly on to cutting-edge news about Star Wars Kid and Islamic text divorces), but if you do, you’ll have to cut and paste the URL. If they want Google-juice from me, they’re going to have to earn it:

http://www.mirror.co.uk/iblog/

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030729

Time
09:04
Nothing says ‘advanced science’ quite like brains in a petri dish. Controlling robots on the other side of the planet, no less. The end days are upon us.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030729

Time
09:06
Missing: 50 pound, 7 ft tall boy, with chef’s hat and big, round belly. He won’t get far; he left his shoes behind.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030729
Yet Another Lame Quiz
Time
09:10
Just found The Freak Test via The Ultimate Insult. Apparently I’m 58.5% freak. I scored extra points for starting my own religion and having people convert to it.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030729

Time
09:16
See Doc Oc on the poster for Spiderman II.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030729
Oldies But Goodies
Time
09:17
Spaced Penguin is great stuff. My kids play it all the time.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030729
Telemarketers
Time
09:19
Telemarketers Sue Over Do-Not-Call List. They claim it will devastate the industry. Well, boo-effing-hoo.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030729

Time
09:23
Vote #1 Georgy! She’s an underdog that’s, like, totally bitchin’!

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030729
It’s War! And Things Is Getting Ridiculous!
Time
09:24
The Pentagon is setting up a stock-market style system in which investors would bet on ‘terror attacks, assassinations and other events in the Middle East.’ Yes, you read that right.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030729
Photoshopping
Time
09:26
I’m going to be exploring scraminals over the next few days. Do try to keep your trousers dry.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030730

Time
09:01
A great collection of censored cartoons (via Ultimate Insult). The Amazing Formula guy is alo a great find. Go and see Scott for the linkage.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030730

Time
09:04
Wedding recption ends in riot. It all started when a police officer spotted a 13-year-old girl drinking alcohol.

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Date
20030730
Does What It Says On The Tin
Time
09:07
How do dinosaurs fit with the Bible?

“When God created the world, dinosaurs were one of His creations. God created all the animals… Like Adam, the bodies of the first dinosaurs were formed from the dust of the earth. Man and dinosaurs lived at the same time.”

All this and more available from christiananswers.net

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030730
Riding High on Blogdex
Time
09:10
Blake’s 7 set for hi-tech return. It just won’t be the same without wobbly sets and shoddy effects. Still, in these enlightened times, we can look forward to some serious man-nip action. Even Batman has rubber nipples these days.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030730

Time
09:13
Parents: White Teacher Should Not Teach Black History

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Date
20030730

Time
09:16
Read a letter home from a 2nd lieutenant stationed north of Baghdad. The local insect population laughs at his meagre chemical controls, and people keep shooting at him.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030730

Time
09:18
El Reg: Copying is Theft – and other legal myths.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030730
Flash Thingies
Time
09:19
Your own personal liquid slave. Will follow your cursor anywhere. Make him wiggle for maximum enjoyment.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030730
Yet Another Lame Quiz
Time
09:21
Well overdue, this one: Which Willy Wonka character are you?

It says that I’m Willy. That’s Mr Wonka to you….

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030730

Time
09:24
New research suggests that some cigarette brands are likely to be far more addictive than others.

On a semi-related topic, you may wish to drop by and see Elvis out of his mind of drugs.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030730

Time
09:27
Al-Qaida May Be Planning More Hijackings, say US Officials. Now is this a genuine threat, or yet another cynical press release meant to keep us on our toes?

In other news, the Pentagon has abandoned its plan for a futures market based on terrorist activity. Well, that lasted all of 24 hours. Now we wait quietly for someone to start an unofficial version online.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030730

Time
09:32
Sliced bread celebrates its 75th anniversary.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030730
Blogathon 2003 – Aftermath
Time
09:40
I’ve still got reliable incoming email, but outgoing remains a problem – so I’m going to have to deal with this on the blog:

The email sent out by the Blogathon chaps to sponsors is the wrong one. It sends you to the Amnesty International sign-up page.

The proper donation URL is:

http://www.amnesty.org.uk/support/donation.shtml

Thanks to Rich for the heads-up.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030730
Photoshopping
Time
09:43
Another scraminal for you. Not as scary as yesterday’s, but it is unique in that it crows sometime around midday.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030730
Flash Music Video
Time
12:55
JPEG Baby has just entered the top ten in Google for the single-word search query ‘JPEG’.



It’s still only #23 or thereabouts for ‘love song,’ but give it time…

UPDATE – Well shut mah mouth! JPEG Baby is now bouncing around up at 1st-4th place for ‘love song’ (depending on which version of Google you use).

(insert evil laugh here)

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030730
Flash Games
Time
16:17
Time to go harvesting children in the dark woods. All you’ve got are your wits, a flying broom, and a great big bubbling cauldron…

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030731

Time
08:52
Enjoy this collection of absurd patents from the UK and lesser colonies. My favourite is the horse-powered mini-bus.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030731

Time
08:56
Florida smoking ban leads to tobacco-infused drink. No surprises there.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030731

Time
08:57
Baptist church wishes to increase congregation diversification – offers to pay white people to attend.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030731

Time
08:58
Texas redistricting explained for the average American. Pizza and donuts, anyone?

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030731

Time
09:01
Blood oozes out of apartment walls in western Indian city of Ahmedabad. It’s been formally identified as human blood by forensic experts, but no-one knows where its coming from. Could Monkey Man be to blame?

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030731

Time
09:03
What could be more useful that a shoe size – penis size conversion chart?

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030731

Time
09:04
Blowtorch-wielding bandit accidentally burns booty. Also, scroll down this brief list of fire reports for a story that really needs to be told.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030731

Time
09:07
Oooh, look who else is calling something I-Blog. The Mirror’s wanna-blog is still a month or so behind the rest of the world, featuring as it does today Matrix-style ping pong. They also need to get over this unhealthy obsession with eBay. Still no Google-juice for them:

http://www.mirror.co.uk/iblog/

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030731
A Reader Writes…
Time
09:24
stopabductions.com is a real website. It is about a real device and has

real case histories. The other website you mention on your site is a parody

of stopabductions.com It is demeaning and in poor taste.

See Michael Menkin’s new website, aliensandchildren.org for more information

and proof of alien abductions and the success of the thought screen helmet.

Michael Menkin

stopabductions.com

aliensandchildren.org

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030731

Time
09:28
A week without e-mail is more traumatic than moving house or getting divorced, say techies. Damn right. Being unable to reply is really starting to get my goat.

Chris, the donation link you need for the Blogathon is here. Please don’t send any money to me directly; I’d only spend it on beer.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030731
Does What It Says On The Tin
Time
09:33
Make your dog or cat the toughest moggie or doggie of the neighbourhood with the help of tattoo-a-pet.com! An individual tracking number is only $35, but for a little bit extra they may throw in a cool flaming skull or a picture of a naked lady.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030731

Time
09:46
This page has been eaten by monsters.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030731
Photoshopping
Time
11:01
More scraminals for you to enjoy.

You might want to put this image to one side until next Easter. In the meantime, it will just have to haunt your dreams…

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030731

Time
11:23
My wife brought some of these home yesterday. They are beyond cool:

Animal-shaped rubber bands!

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030731
The Political Weblog Movement
Time
11:58
What’s an RFID tag and why should you care? This post from Tom Watson is an excellent run-down of how he became aware of them them and why he’s decided to take action. Go Tom, go!

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030731
Updates
Time
15:42
Most of you are aware that I’m now focusing on business/e-commerce a lot more than I have been recently. I’ll be doing this work through Screen Pages Ltd. (they’re a smart bunch, they appreciate where I’m coming from and – even better – they’re less than 10 miles from my front door).

The Bloggerheads business section has enjoyed a long-overdue overhaul and now ties in neatly with this new relationship.

There is also new primary linkage above for the search engine seminar I’ll be giving in early September (as UKNM subscribers will no doubt be aware, I’ve been meaning to do one of these for over a year now).

In the coming days, my brand new Domokun Kettle (won at FunJunkie) will take pride of place in the office kitchen.

That is all.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030731
Photoshopping
Time
17:03
All new! All fluffy! Not at all tainted by scandal! (And quite likely to drop by your house with a basket full of chocolate eggs.)

Seriously, how could you not love this face?

01-17 July, 2003

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030701
Only Interesting to Bloggers
Time
08:44
Why we need Echo* (*new name coming soon).

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030701
Doing The Rounds
Time
08:48
A new headline to suit those items that you’ve probably already seen a million times, but that I need to blog for my own reference:

The Illustrated Catalog Of ACME Products

That note on the fridge door.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030701

Time
08:51
27-Year-Old Man Poses as Teenage Girl. He’s over 6 feet tall and weighs 180 pounds, but has still managed to convince people that he’s a (very ugly) teenage girl – and has taken shelter with a number of families under this guise.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030701

Time
08:56
Finally, a message of hope and fellowship from the stars.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030701

Time
08:59
Overpriced but quite cool vintage sideshow banners (link via Ultimate Insult).

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030701

Time
09:02
I’ll be signing up for the 2003 Blogathon as soon as the back-end lets me.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030701

Time
09:03
Bloggers Gain Libel Protection (but only if they live in the States). Turns out that this is a conversation after all. Cindy Cohn, legal director of the Electronic Frontier Foundation, said:

“One-way news publications have editors and fact-checkers, and they’re not just selling information — they’re selling reliability. But on blogs or e-mail lists, people aren’t necessarily selling anything, they’re just engaging in speech. That freedom of speech wouldn’t exist if you were held liable for every piece of information you cut, paste and forward.”

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030701

Time
09:12
Roy Taylor Ministries presents American Pie and the Armageddon Bible Prophecy.

And I looked, and behold a pink carnation and a pick-up truck, and upon the pick-up truck one sat like a lonely teenage broncing buck, having on his head a thorny crown, and in his hand a coat he borrowed from James Dean. Or something like that.

Hmmm. I’ll have to take a closer look at this. Time to refer to the Annotated “American Pie” page….

Wow, how about that? Mick Jagger is Satan! Now it’s all starting to make sense!

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030701

Time
09:23
Heh. A Microsoft Word version of a certain dossier was published online. Microsoft Word keeps quite comprehensive revision logs that anybody who downloads the file can dig into. Similar documents are now published in PDF format.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030701

Time
09:29
Israel acknowledges running secret detention centre. Prisoners are kept in black, windowless cells. When they ask where they are, they are told: “On the moon.”

And, presumably, that their name is now ‘Alice.’

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030701

Time
09:33
Jim Carrey run down by Stephen Hawking. The Sun is there.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030701

Time
09:35
I’m sure that Howard Dean’s a good man and a solid candidate, but I really wish that he’d taken the time to blog properly. Now every politician with dollar signs in their eyes is going to take one look at this and decide that Dean’s faux-blog is the model to follow.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030701
Tim Yeo: Campaign Hijacker
Time
10:25
Well, how about that? Tim Yeo has actually taken action, asked a question that nails down a date, and received an answer. August is the promised delivery date. Knowing the folks from Tony Blair’s communications unit, the exact date is probably the 47th of August, but at least we have something beyond vague guestimations such as ‘in the new year’ or ‘very soon.’

The interesting thing is that this question was submitted on Thursday 26th June, the day after I requested (as part of a very kind offer) that he ‘ask a question in parliament designed to nail down an actual delivery date on a viable service for Tony Blair’ (see Bloggerheads archives for Wed 25 Jun).

See? I told you he reads his emails.

Pity he doesn’t answer them.

Applause for the action. A mighty big ‘yah-boo-sucks’ for the ongoing hypocrisy.

Thinking that perhaps Mr Yeo was a technophobe, I gave up on email and called his office yesterday on the telling-bone. I left a message. I left my home number. Did I get a reply? No.

Now, of course, we get more column inches for Mr Yeo and still no recognition for the core campaign that actually drove this forward.

I’m happy about the result, but I’m still mightily pissed off with the attitude, so if Tim Yeo thinks this is enough to calm me down, he’s very, very wrong.

An apology is still due. And I’m going to continue to fight for it.

UPDATE – Thanks to Rog for the scan of The Mail on Sunday. More pictures will follow soon. Today, I’m publishing Tim Yeo’s phone numbers and email addresses on the Tim Yeo : Campaign Hijacker page and the Tim Yeo weblog.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030701
Big Brother 4
Time
10:28
You know, I came *this* close to actually watching Big Brother last night after hearing whispers that the new inmate Lisa was really a man.

Then I realised that I didn’t give a damn either way, and spent the evening watching lousy documentaries instead.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030701
Something Awful
Time
11:57
If you’ve turned up here from the Something Awful forums, can you please send me details of the specific thread where the linkage is? My referral stats won’t feed me the info, and the search function won’t work (yes, I’ve paid) and I’ve hunted and poked around, but simply cannot find the bloody thing. It’s probably just another mention of Mustard Man, but I’d like to know all the same. Ta.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030702

Time
08:41
The Funjunkie competition is starting to heat up. The challenge is to show your devotion by sending in a picture including you and their name. The prize is a digital camcorder, and girly body parts are enjoying a late run.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030702

Time
08:45
Aggravate your hangover with the Headacher. Don’t be afraid to play with the pull-down menu. There are some spectacular concepts in the collection that will make you want to stab your eyeballs with a pencil, and I’d hate for you to miss any of them. (Link via Ultimate Insult.)

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030702
Animal Kingdom
Time
08:50
Mutilated cat cases continue in Denver and public reaction to the slaughter of eight puppies in Arcata has led to the arrest of two brothers. Meanwhile, a huge, gelatinous sea creature washed up on the shore is baffling Chilean scientists.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030702

Time
08:56
Web firms choose profit over privacy. Most of them do their level best to convince/fool you to opt in, but some companies take the opt-out list and sell it regardless of customers’ wishes. Everyone’s getting spammed anyway, so who’s going to know, right?

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030702

Time
09:02
Poll suggests that 52% of Americans believe the US has found clear evidence that Saddam was working closely with al-Qaida. I say ‘suggests’ because they only polled 1,000 people. Still…

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030702
Only Interesting to Bloggers
Time
09:07
Businesses use blogs to help get their name out there. Still very limited take-up in the commercial sector. Honesty scares some people. Most marketing managers also consider Adwords to be a form of search engine optimisation, so the full benefits of blogs completely pass them by.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030702

Time
09:09
Ah, this explains the minor traffic spike resulting from a sudden rush of searches yesterday for Michael Carroll. It was either a bunch of journalists looking for an angle or extra paragraph on this story, or a bunch of readers reacting to same:

16-year-old wins lottery.

UPDATE – This may also have something to do with it:

Lottery winner fined for benefits fraud

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030702

Time
09:18
Honest observation or digitally-altered pot-stirring? When in doubt, listen to the rhubarb. Most folks are taking this at face value and reacting pretty much as you woulkd expect, but I found at least one chap amongst the linkage who plans on doing a little fact-checking. Well, actually, I suspect he’s really calling to enjoy a minor rant. We shall see.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030702

Time
09:31
Overheated sperm getting you down? Shield your precious seed with the protective wonder of Sauna Pants. This site contains some irresistible Engrish.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030702
Telemarketers
Time
09:35
Telemarketing victim strikes back by calling back. About 100 times. Heh.

“I just called them every five minutes and let them know that, no I don’t have a crack in my windshield, because this seems to be something they are very concerned about.”

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030702
Tim Yeo: Campaign Hijacker
Time
09:37
A new image has been added to the gallery today, entitled:

“Conservative Beefcake”

I’d really like to know what’s going on in Tim Yeo’s mind.

Does he think this storm will blow over? Maybe he’s of the opinion that said storm is taking place in a teacup.

All I know is that I deserve an apology and I’m not going to leave the man alone until I get one.

Really, is it that difficult? The man has made at least one apology before (regarding Tory failures on the BSE crisis).

Here, listen to Tim Yeo saying ‘sorry.’ The word didn’t stick in his throat. The heavens didn’t fall. What’s stopping him from turning this minor disagreement into a major web presence?

I really would like to know.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030702
My 10th Wedding Anniversary
Time
10:09
Tomorrow is my 10th wedding anniversary. Last year I said something nice about the missus. This year, it’s your turn.

Bloggerheads may seem like little old me operating independently out of my web-shed, but without the ongoing backing and inspiration that this woman provides, it probably wouldn’t exist at all.

Remember, this is a woman who gave me full and unwavering support when I went out and marched for peace (again and again and again). Who understood why I had to go out in the wee small hours with Out Of Order signs or a handful of playground chalk. Who took it very well when I called her from Trafalgar Square to let her know that I’d just suffered a minor collapse, so if she saw it live on TV, then she shouldn’t worry.

Above all, this is a woman who is incredibly tolerant of the time I spend glued to my computer.

Show your appreciation with a short email today via the following address:

kate AT bloggerheads DOT com

Thank you.

(Note – Emails will not be blogged. They’re for the missus and the missus alone.)

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030702

Time
10:47
That image of Lisa from Big Brother (see yesterday’s bloggage) is currently No.1 on the Lycos Viral Chart. Resulting traffic spike? As far as I can tell, about 3 or 4 people searching for ‘bloggerheads.com’ in Google.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030702

Time
15:24
Damn, I missed Canada Day. Again. Oh well, there is this (thanks, Simon).

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030703
The Political Weblog Movement
Time
07:53
There’s going to be very little bloggage today, but I will take a few moments to send you in this direction:

Political weblogs: spread the gospel

Thanks to everyone who sent email yesterday. It was and is appreciated.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030704
Told You So
Time
08:34
To everybody I’ve had a drunken conversation with in the last two months:

1. Sorry about your cat.

2. Remember how I pointed out that in 1997 stark new warning labels were introduced on cigarette packets in Australia and a cottage industry sprang up overnight selling ‘amusing’ fake labels to cover them up? Well, stark new warning labels have been with us in the UK for about 8 weeks now… and a cottage industry has sprung up overnight selling ‘amusing’ fake labels to cover them up:

FakeFags.com

FagTags.com

The former company hopes to market themselves via an affiliate scheme. The latter seems to think that sticking their labels all over the walls of the London Underground is the way to go.

UPDATE – Michael Pastor was kind enough to email details of a site that lets you download free samples. Not that you couldn’t make them yourself with MS Word in about 2 minutes…

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030704
Telemarketers
Time
08:36
How Farkers deal with Telemarketers.

In other news, Telemarketers are seeking new ways of invading your life now national ‘do not call’ list is in place. They just don’t get the message, do they?

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030704

Time
08:38
Wyoming man fired from Home Depot for criticising the CEO on his website.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030704
Riding High on Blogdex
Time
08:44
Yesterday’s Guardian article on political weblogging is currently #3 on the Blogdex chart. Here’s their list of people talking about it, and here’s another list courtesy of Technorati.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030704
When Monkeys Run Amok
Time
08:49
Escaped circus monkey invades pizzeria and vandalises ladies room.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030704
Flash Games
Time
08:51
Peeball! A genuine challenge, and more fun than flushing halfway through and trying to beat the cistern. (Link via FunJunkie.)

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030704

Time
09:02
Bush Asks Congress For $30 Billion To Help Fight War On Criticism.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030704

Time
09:04
Go Joe! See the missing G.I. Joe episodes and photos of G.I. Joe in WW2.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030704
Oldies but Goodies
Time
09:08
The Rocky & Bullwinkle Horror Picture Show. I’m sure I remember seeing this back in 1998, but every good effort deserves a revival now and again.

Speaking of which, Tom Watson’s ‘Teens!’ page is enjoying a solid comeback (including reported discussion on the Popbitch boards and – strangely – inclusion in the Wimbledon commentary).

Cue many, many abusive emails from outraged individuals – most of them over 30 – who genuinely think that Tom is ‘for real’ in trying to get down wiv da yoof.

Tom is now posting extracts from the best of these at his regular weblog, but I think he might be a little misguided in blaming the Yeo crew for the bulk of it. Yeo’s not that smart, and people in general are that stupid.

If that sounds a bit harsh, consider that 8% of of Londoners say ‘take me home’ to a cabbie, before promptly failing to remember their address.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030704
Corporate Fun and Games
Time
09:30
Boycott Blockbuster and dig deeper into The McGriddle. I saw these monstrosities when I was in Boston. They have maple syrup baked into the bun. Baked. Into. The. Bun.

Eggs, bacon, sausage – and maple syrup? I’m sorry, but just the thought of it makes my stomach turn.

Incidentally, you may remember the whole ‘you can’t take photos in Starbucks’ fuss recently. Well, I tried to take a picture of the McGriddles range on offer, and this is the result.

Why is the photo so blurred? Well, just out of shot is a till attendant taking a good hold of my elbow and telling me that I’m not allowed to take photos inside McDonalds.

Silly me, I forgot to write a letter to the central office and ask permission first.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030704
Feedback Friday
Time
12:48
After over a year of banging my head against the brick wall of business, I shifted my attention to politics. I now see this area as ready to snowball. I’m talking to some folks what I trust to offer a set-price solution for MPs who need a blog, so I can move on.

Or, rather, back.

From next week onwards, my focus will return to e-commerce.

That is all.

(Oh go on, then. You can make a comment about that if you really feel you need to. It is Friday, after all…)

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030705

Time
17:11
Tom’s Teens page: ‘just another’ viral campaign? Charming. Someone’s nose is out of joint.

UPDATE – Actually, it may very well be mine. Oh well. I’m still trying to work out just what is going on with this sentence:

“On first reading, we thought it was just another viral campaign from search-engine optimist-cum-Internet prankster Tim Ireland, whose production credits appear on the site. But no, Tom Watson is a real live politician. So yes it is another viral.”

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030707
Does What It Says On The Tin
Time
08:23
bathroomsurvey.com

www.deadmalls.com

www.hairyback.com

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030707

Time
08:24
New internet service allows citizens to create dossiers on government officials. If you don’t talk with us, we’re going to talk about you…

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030707

Time
08:26
Doped-up rats run amok in Queensland police station after digging into display of speed and pot.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030707

Time
08:30
BBC reports rumbles Amsterdam spammer. His world is now crashing down around his ears. Go and watch the fall.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030707
Flash Games
Time
08:36
Save the little space-dude’s home. Poke around for the clickable links. You’ll work it out.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030707
Christianity Watch
Time
08:38
Lightning hits preacher moments after he calls to God, asking for a sign.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030707

Time
08:43
Tom’s Teens page was featured on Pg. 2 of Saturdays’ Financial Times. They gave the wrong URL. This caused many people to (finally) discover Tom’s 404 page (hint: if you only get a standard warning, try this.

(UPDATE – Sorry. Used wrong link on ‘this.’ Something more useful is now in place.)

Another newspaper called as a result. They were convinced that Tom’s site had been hacked.

Now Tom’s running a competition, challenging web folk to design a better 404 page. This entry is my favourite so far.

Oh, and on the subject of hacking, please look both ways before you cross this street.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030707
The Political Weblog Movement
Time
08:54
Despite the New Focus, I will be attending the following Voxpolitics Seminar:

Can Weblogs Change Politics?

I urge anyone interested to RSVP today to help them nut out the numbers.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030708

Time
08:25
Rejoice! The Guardian is to be published in the U.S. in a weekly magazine format. I’ll be plugging them every step of the way.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030708

Time
08:29
Transfer money, make friends and get a transcript of your entire online relationship as part of your monthly bank statement with the miracle of communication that is CashMail.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030708

Time
08:37
Bush administration claims that a return to nuclear testing may soon be necessary. A new generation of nuclear bunker-busters is in development, and the Nevada desert looks ready to rock again.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030708

Time
08:43
Cashing in on a celebrity death with Adwords? Now that’s class all over.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030708
Riding High on Blogdex
Time
08:46
The Open Government Information Awareness site (I blogged some news on this yesterday) looks rock solid in top position. If they need a revenue stream, they should sell GIA identification cards. I’d buy one.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030708
Only Interesting to Bloggers
Time
08:52
TypePad is in beta-testing and Dave Winer talks about the ‘Blog This’ feature on Google’s new toolbar and AOL’s entry into weblogs.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030708
Christianity Watch
Time
08:58
morons.org: “Yes, Virginia, there are fundamentalist religious extremists in Europe.”

Guardian: Evangelicals plan next anti-gay campaign.

Isn’t there already a puritanical church or two that these people can go to?

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030708

Time
09:03
The Internet Is Shit. But we don’t have the evangelists to thank for that – or even the chattering masses. The biggest problem is ignorance on the business front. This is where everything from pop-ups to banners to spam originates from. It’s also why 99% of corporate web presences are a complete waste of space.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030708

Time
09:10
Bargain shopper busted with fabricated barcode labels. The first of many such stories, I assure you.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030708

Time
09:13
This site for the Paranormal & Ghost Society is quite possibly the ugliest site I’ve ever seen, but it contains many joys even before you get to the core content. Have a read through disclaimers that are scattered throughout the site; the man is a legal genius.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030708
Hulk Smash!
Time
09:19
1. Keyboards for people with fat fingers.

2. Cheap Hulk knock-off toy found to have enormous penis: The Sun is there.

3. The Hollywood Sites, Hollywood URLs article is drawing quite a few visitors who are lost and cannot find the site for the new Hulk movie.

UPDATE – Check out this newly introduced alternative URL for the movie. Nice to see that someone’s paying attention. Now perhaps they can read the rest of the bloody article. They need categorised and indexable info like this on their own site, for a start.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030708
Flash Games
Time
09:30
Take pot-shots at Clippy.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030708
Tim Yeo: Campaign Hijacker
Time
10:52
Ongoing Tim Yeo activity is being shifted over to the Tim Yeo weblog. Because the man clearly has no plans to get back to me and the last thing I want is Tory porn on my front page every other day as a result.

The TY weblog will continue to stalk this little man, right up until the next election if needs be.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030708

Time
17:21
If you’re going to tattoo your child, ensure that it’s done by a company you can trust.

Heh. I can feel the heat of outrage from here.

Pure common sense tells me that it’s a hoax, but for those who need something concrete, Snopes already has a listing for this.

More? OK. The related Metafilter thread not only reveals who the culprits are (scroll about halfway down this page for details), it also rumbles them for stealing the design from this site.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030709

Time
07:35
Hey, how about that? I’m older than Jennifer Lopez. I wonder if she’ll go out with me?

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030709
It’s War! And Somebody’s Telling Porkies!
Time
07:36
Bush administration admits claim that Saddam tried to buy uranium was slightly misguided. The cat’s on the roof…

In other news, the dossier sideshow continues here in the UK.

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Date
20030709
Anybody But George
Time
07:42
How To Rig An E-lection In The United States

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Date
20030709

Time
07:42
More on AOL belatedly jumping on the blogwagon:

Burning Bird has fond memories of what happened when AOL users were unleashed on Usenet.

How can I say this without offending AOL users?

Hmmm.

OK, so the ads may make an attractive case. The free CDs may have an attractive case, and after 12 of them arriving in your mailbox I suppose you can’t really be blamed for trying just one to check it out. And yes, AOL is almost impossible to remove from your systems once it’s installed.

However…

Staying with AOL after being online for more than 3 months is a lot like living with your parents beyond the age of 30.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030709

Time
07:48
Stephen Hawking visits strip club. The Sun is there.

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Date
20030709
Stories That Mean Nothing
Time
07:50
Simon Cowell has said he could turn Prince William into a pop star. The new series of Pop Idol must be just around the corner. Here’s hoping it does as dismally as the latest version of Big Brother.

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Date
20030709
Naughty Bits
Time
07:53
1. After 19 years of silence, paralyzed man speaks. He used his new-found ability to make a pass at the nurse.

2. Was the defendant’s mother scratching her scalp with her middle finger or making an obscene gesture at the judge?

3. Thinking of taking the kids to see Stonehenge this year?

4. Over 70 rude words downgraded from ‘taboo’ to ‘slang’ by Collins English Dictionary. There are still 16 very rude words left over. See if you can list them all.

(This is not a competition, I’m actually trying to trick you into writing a list of dirty words just as the boss is walking past…)

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030709

Time
08:03
Jason Alexander’s KFC contract terminated after his meeting with PETA. KFC claims there’s no connection.

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Date
20030709

Time
08:05
8-year-old charged after torturing kitten.

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Date
20030709

Time
08:06
Check out the reversible matchbox gallery (link via Ultimate Insult).

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Date
20030709
Feedback
Time
08:09
Ed Neal took a precious minute from his busy schedule (which mostly involves wondering what the girl next door would look like with her head on a stick) to give the following advice:

“Don’t sweat the petty stuff.. and for god’s sake.. DON’T pet the sweaty stuff!!…”

Thanks, Ed.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030709
Photoshopping
Time
11:55
Go to Google and search for ‘photoshopping’ for mucho bigness.

UPDATE – And to celebrate, here’s a nice picture for you….

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030710
It’s War! And Somebody’s Telling Porkies!
Time
08:31
Tony Blair says:

“I should tell you I have absolutely no doubt at all that we will find evidence of weapons of mass destruction… programs, no doubt at all.”

Oh, OK. So long as there’s no doubt at all…

Donald Rumsfeld says:

“The coalition did not act in Iraq because we had discovered dramatic new evidence… we acted because we saw the evidence in a dramatic new light – through the prism of our experience on 9/11.”

The cat fell off the roof. Watch this space.

UPDATE – Please note that if Labour do lose the next election, it won’t be because of MP rebellion. It will be because of the lack of such rebellion when the chips were down.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030710

Time
08:38
I’m a creature of habit. I’ve bought (and subsequently worn to death) endless pairs of Converse All-Stars for well over a decade. But I won’t be buying them anymore.

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Date
20030710

Time
08:41
Cover up your rude bits at the beach with wholesomewear.com

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Date
20030710
Riding High on Blogdex
Time
08:43
BBC: CIA warned Bush administration that claims about Iraq’s nuclear ambitions were not true months before they used them to make their case for war

More below under ‘Porkies’. Boy, I’m really starting to regret acting like a naive peacenik…

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Date
20030710

Time
08:47
Beer found in can of Diet Coke.

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Date
20030710

Time
08:50
Blog. From. Spaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaace!

Welcome… to the worrrrrrrrrrld of tomorrow!

etc…

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Date
20030710

Time
08:52
Store owner on assault charge after spanking a boy for teaching his parrot to swear.

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Date
20030710

Time
08:53
McDonald’s restaurant closed after routine inspection. The staff had been changing expiration dates on the milk.

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Date
20030710
Video
Time
08:55
Watch Bugs Bunny and Donald Duck do their bit for the war effort.

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Date
20030710

Time
09:02
Yay! Glamour pet photography rules!

(UK readers may be expecting something a little different. Prepare yourselves for disappointment… or considerable relief.)

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Date
20030710

Time
09:23
Tom’s Teens page: BBC gets joke, sees point. Oh, I do love starting the day with a big win.

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Date
20030710

Time
10:43
Dissertation Could Be Security Threat.

“They’re worried about national security. I’m worried about getting my degree.”

Heh.

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Date
20030710

Time
14:18
Someone else is out an about with the PayPal Email Scam. Two versions of this have arrived in my Inbox over the last hour.

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Date
20030710
2003 Blogathon
Time
14:36
I’ve got my first sponsor for the 2003 Blogathon.

Raise a drink to Whitey, who’s kicked me off with a generous $50.

It starts at July 26, 06:00 Pacific Time. That means (I think) that I have to leap from the starting gate at July 26, 14:00 GMT.

24 hours of blogging. Just imagine it.

If you plan on watching, please do blow the dust off your wallet and sponsor Bloggerheads in the 2003 Blogathon.

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Date
20030710
Photoshopping
Time
15:01
Dave Bowman Kenobi prepares to reboot.

There’s a big’un over at B3ta, plus two more 2001/SW crossovers from today and yesterday:

TIE-Pod

Mystery at Tycho

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Date
20030711

Time
08:33
File sharing bad. You bad. Summer come. Want share files? Share fun way with FunJunkie Summer Burn. Is good.

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Date
20030711
Oldies But Goodies
Time
08:34
Howard Stone found that he could make his van backfire at will. So he rigged a camera in the rear of the van to capture people’s reactions to the beastly explosions. A classic.

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Date
20030711
Riding High on Blogdex
Time
08:39
Crouching Tiger, Raging Ping Pong (streaming Windows Media file).

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Date
20030711

Time
08:42
Someone should talk to this woman about eggs and baskets.

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Date
20030711

Time
08:43
Visit Yesterland.com, a form of digital afterlife for discontinued Disneyland attractions.

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Date
20030711

Time
08:45
The Astor (Rubiks) Cube. This is just great. People pulling together to create something amazing and subversive, yet ultimately harmless. I must remember to send a copy of this to the Space Hijackers.

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Date
20030711
Follow Up
Time
08:50
The Guardian interviews Terry Wallis. Who? He’s the chap who woke up from a 19-year coma the other day and almost immediately made a pass at the nurse.

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Date
20030711

Time
08:52
Criminals and geniuses do their best work in their 30s. Mainly to impress chicks. Criminal geniuses, on the other hand, are above such petty concerns.

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Date
20030711

Time
08:59
Watch George Bush watching elephants doing what elephants do to make little elephants.

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Date
20030711

Time
09:04
New Battlestar Galactica series set to suck.

Richard Hatch (Apollo) has been fighting for a new series of Battlestar Galactica for years via battlestargalactica.com, but it looks like he and the fans have been screaming into a vacuum. A ‘re-imagining’ (read: ‘misguided rip-off’) is on the cards and Hatch & the boys are less than happy about it.

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Date
20030711
Steady On…
Time
09:12
Saddam Hussein arrested in Israeli-occupied Golan Heights.

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Date
20030711

Time
09:14
Marvel Scraps Plan for Comic Book Princess Di. No mutant Lady Di in spandex? Awwwwwww….

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Date
20030711

Time
09:15
The Pentagon’s plan for tracking everything that moves.

Last night, it struck me that a jolly good choice for the fourth plinth in Trafalgar Square would be a statue of George Orwell.

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Date
20030711

Time
09:19
Political science instructor investigated by the Secret Service for telling his students to email elected officials with the words “kill the president, kill the president.”

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Date
20030711

Time
09:22
A fabulous reaction To Tom’s Teens! page. Nice to see so many people having fun with it. Smiles are hard to come by these days.

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Date
20030711
Search Engine Optimisation
Time
10:31
Google is definitely making some major changes to its back-end and ranking algorithm. I’ve noticed a lot of stuff going on right now that hints at big changes in the wind – as I did just before the Google/Yahoo! deal went through.

And, as with the back-end cleanup that preceded this landmark deal, Bloggerheads’ results have subsequently gone up, not down.

‘Photoshopping’ shot up the other day. I just noticed a big improvement to ‘out of order’ searches, too (up from #10 to #2).

The holy grail of generic search results, ‘religion’, now places the Universal Church of the Interactive Network at an all-time high of #128 in Yahoo!

It’s going to be an interesting summer.

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Date
20030711
Photoshopping
Time
12:56
Behold the Dawn of Wookies!

Part One is kind of average.

You want to check out Part Two, you do…

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Date
20030711
2003 Blogathon
Time
13:00
Rich from FunJUnkie has chipped in with an added $24 of sponsorship. You can throw more money my way by clicking here.

All proceeds from my little corner of the Blogathon will go to Amnesty International. I’ve got a kind of plan for the full day of bloggage, too:

24 Hours, 48 Questions

You ask, I answer. I’d like to be able to bring a form of FAQ to life from the activity, but don’t feel you have to stick to the boring stuff. Instead of ‘Frequently Asked Questions,’ think ‘Seldom Answered Questions.’

Priority will be given to sponsors (so be sure to include your sponsor name when you submit a question). To ask a question, just send an email via this link. (This will send emails into a special folder that I promise not to look into until 2:00pm GMT on July 26th.)

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Date
20030711

Time
16:20
Yay! A site dedicated entirely to all the hands that get chopped off in the Star Wars saga. There are a lot of them. Except in Episode I, which has none. No wonder it sucked.

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Date
20030711

Time
16:53
In case you were wondering, the Star Wars Photoshopping Project started 227 days, 6 hours and 10 minutes ago with this seemingly harmless post at B3ta. Just in case you were wondering.

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Date
20030711

Time
17:06
Finally, a candidate America can believe in:

Tony Blair for President! You know it makes sense.

UPDATE – Big version oif this image is being shown over at B3ta.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030714
It’s War! And Somebody’s Telling Porkies!
Time
08:33
20 Lies About the War. One of the cheekiest, used primarily to counter growing protest: ‘Iraq’s oil money would go to Iraqis’

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Date
20030714
Riding High on Blogdex
Time
08:36
‘AOL Journals’ To Bring Blogs To Millions. There goes the neighbourhood.

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Date
20030714
Too Much Time On Their Hands
Time
08:38
A semi-comprehensive list of goofs from Gilligan’s Island.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030714

Time
08:41
Albuquerque man faces trial for hitting wife with pillow.

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Date
20030714

Time
08:43
Man who wins $73.6 million says he want to “finally get me a tractor with brakes.”

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030714
Follow Up
Time
08:48
Family feud swirls around coma man. Welcome back, son. By the way, your daughter is now a stripper, but your wife has been busy having other children to replace her.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030714

Time
08:53
PCs hijacked by Trojan programs to deliver porn ads. The same Trojan may also be contributing to the delivery of those recent Paypal email scams.

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Date
20030714

Time
09:00
Holidaymaker takes down killer roo with an axe. Now there’s an adventure holiday concept for you. Load the ute up with axes, chainsaws and harpoons and hit the outback for a genuine ‘kill or be killed’ scenario. With roo-burgers for afters, of course. Killer Cockatoos will be next, you just wait and see.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030714

Time
09:05
Police inform mother of son’s death via voice mail.

“You. Have. Three. Messages. And. No. Son.”

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030714
Does What It Says On The Tin
Time
09:08
Strike up a pen-pal relationship with an inmate via writeaprisoner.com

A genuinely hot prospect was dug out of the files by Roddy (who emailed today to ask very nicely if he could link to The Star Wars Photoshopping Project).

Inmate Susan Smith is a god-fearing soul who likes rainbows. She considers herself to be ‘sensitive, caring & kind-hearted’… and is currently serving a life sentence on the charge of murder.

UPDATE – It seems that Susan is getting so much attention that a press release is called for. Turn out she’s famous.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030714

Time
09:16
Recall Notice: Beware of exploding toads.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030714
The Political Weblog Movement
Time
09:17
Please note the new time for the Can Weblogs Change Politics? seminar at Westminster tonight:

14th July, 7:00 – 9:00pm

Grant Committee Room, House of Commons

Get there early if you want a seat folks. It’s going to be crowded.

UPDATE – ZDnet: Weblogs help create a political hot spot

UPDATE 2 – The weblog seminar is currently the top news item in the BBC Technology category. (Thanks, Martyn…)

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030714
2003 Blogathon
Time
09:22
Tom is thinking of signing up for the 2003 Blogathon. It won’t be the first time an MP has worked around the clock (no, really) but the idea of taking policy suggestions and debating one each hour certainly sounds new to me. He wants your suggestions. Go and chip in.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030714
Tony Blair’s Email
Time
10:37
A further baby-step. The following announcement has been added to the Downing St site:

“A facility to allow you to email the Prime Minister will be made available during August.”

Interesting that they’re also starting to refer to it as a ‘facility’ instead of an ‘address.’

1. Do you think they actually read my specifications?

2. If the new service follows these specs to the letter, should I send them an invoice?

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030714

Time
10:57
Man Gets Life Sentence For Sucking Boys’ Toes. 15 years without parole. Martin points out that this amounts to 1.5 years per toe. However, there are 20 sets of toes to take into account. On the other hand, the sentences are being served concurrently rather than consecutively, so that means…

Oh, I don’t know. Can we drop the maths and instead spiral into a Pulp-Fictionesque debate about foot massages?

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030714

Time
12:03
See William Katt and Kurth Russel read for the parts of Luke and Han at Star Wars: The Screen Tests.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030715
Does What It Says On The Tin
Time
08:55
www.boredofthebeckhams.com

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030715
Riding High on Blogdex
Time
08:55
PDF: Unfit for Human Consumption. Agreed. It’s probably the most useless format available for publishing online documents – but it makes them look ever so pretty.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030715

Time
08:57
Vicar headbutts photographer at wedding. The Sun is there.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030715

Time
08:58
Lightning strikes woman’s tongue stud. She can count herself very lucky that she didn’t have piercings in more (ahem) exotic places.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030715
Christianity Watch
Time
09:00
The Evolution Irritation Site is has ‘facts,’ ‘truths’ and Jackpots galore. Jackpots? Don’t worry, you’ll see. Enjoy.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030715

Time
09:02
Announcing the winner of the FunJunkie Digital Camcorder competition (insert drum roll here).

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030715
Flash Games
Time
09:06
Yes, we have no weapons of mass destruction!

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030715

Time
09:08
Chewbacca delivers Episode III spoilers. Damn, that reminds me… I meant weeks ago to start a petition to get Star Wars Kid a cameo in the movie. Oh well.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030715
The Political Weblog Movement
Time
09:25
The Can Weblogs Change Politics? Seminar headed up by VoxPolitics went very well indeed. Andrew Orlowski still managed to bitch about it even though he was over 5,000 miles away at the time and remains completely without a clue. Tom from Plastic Bag was there, though – and he’s got a few words to say about Andrew this morning (plus a photo of Tom Watson in the pub).

Tom, Dan and I were a little late getting to the Westminster Arms. We had a little drinkies on the terrace first to celebrate Dan’s victory in the 404 competition (I should be able to get the new 404 page live sometime soon).

Interesting times on the terrace…

You may remember a few weeks back that I got in touch with Lembit Öpik’s office about the weblog format. They said ‘no,’ which surprised me. However, after cornering the man himself on the terrace (it was either talk to me or jump in the Thames) I can tell you that he personally find the idea quite interesting.

Watch this space.

UPDATE – Richard Allan has a short report on this, and quite an interesting idea. Adopt an MP. Get in touch. Help them understand it. Those that end up wanting it as a result are prime weblog material. Those that don’t we can do without anyway.

Oh, and here’s a selective blow-by-blow by Nick Barlow. Heh. The use of the word ‘disintermediation’ actually drove me from the room. I took a full 5 minutes to recover.

Finally, for your reference, here’s a comprehensive rundown of what was said by the main speakers and a few pictures from the event.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030715

Time
13:34
BBC reports on last night’s political weblog thingie.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030716

Time
12:24
Meet Mark Andrews, aka Chicken Man. Chickens changed his life, a life that is now doubly rich in that he has married Chicken Woman.

Chicken Man’s hobbies include:

1) Riding the Big Red Truck

2) Sitting in the truck window

3) Steering the truck

4) Scratching for bugs and worms

5) Taking a nap in front of a fan

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030716

Time
12:27
Cook County sheriff’s officer Ronnie Baffield caught two men engaged in a rather personal fashion in some shrubbery. Did he arrest them? No. He offered to let them go if they painted his house and got him a good deal on a computer. The officer has since been charged with bribery and official misconduct, and a good thing it is, too. The whole deal of goods/service exchange lingers dangerously close to socialism.

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Date
20030716

Time
12:31
Cafepress offers print-on-demand books.

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Date
20030716

Time
12:33
Work for eBay. It’s fun.

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Date
20030716

Time
12:34
Two men charged with manslaughter following the death of an Oxford University student. He was flung from a giant replica medieval catapult ‘in a 30 metre arc’ – but, sadly, this was a good few metres short of the distance required for him to reach the safety net.

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Date
20030716
It’s War! And Somebody’s Telling Porkies!
Time
12:39
Bush shifts blames for Iraq lies. And so ends the promised era of responsibility. They’re busy trying to line up scapegoats over here, too.

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Date
20030716
Follow Up
Time
12:44
Web Site Asks Susan Smith To Drop Ad. I grabbed a print-out of the personals page in question yesterday, for my own personal reference. I didn’t know she was famous when I first blogged it, I was simply charmed by her love for rainbows.

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Date
20030716
Yet Another Lame Quiz
Time
12:47
What threat to the Bush administration are you?

I’m morally deficient. And dangerous.

BTW, I just got an email from Rainbow Heron, who writes:

“I was just listening to NPR and all of a sudden they started talking about weblogs and MPs. They were talking about Tom Watson’s decision to blog and then mentioned you by name (Tim Ireland) as being a help to him in setting it up. They also briefly mentioned Richard Allan and the Adopt a British MP campaign.

“Just wanted to say, congratulations, you’re on the radio in America.

“Also, the first time I ever heard (or rather saw) of you was on NBC Nightly News way back during the war. They briefly showed that soft pron pic of Bush & Blair in the flag together. Thought it was interesting but they didn’t give you credit for it. In fact, there was no mention of where it came from.”

Tch! Typical. Still, it was out there doing its job, and that’s what counts I suppose.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030716
Flash Thingies
Time
12:54
The difference between Italians and Europeans.

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Date
20030716
Search Engine Optimisation
Time
12:58
The Yahoo/Overture deal has a lot of folks expecting Yahoo to drop Google. I don’t see this as a bad prediction, but I do think it would be a bad decision. Yahoo was losing users by the truckload when Google was an alternative (rather than being fully integrated). I think they’re going to return to equal or greater losses with a central database driven primarily by paid listings.

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Date
20030716
SEO: The Holy Grail
Time
13:19
Today, The Universal Church of the Interactive Network is 127th in Yahoo for the generic search term ‘religion’. That’s an all-time high, folks. Convert today and bring us one step closer to the top.

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Date
20030716
The Political Weblog Movement
Time
14:06
Hmm, here’s an interesting notion. Marc’s local MP is Phil Willis (who has committed the cardinal sin of using frames and therefore hiding most of his content from people who may care about it). Phil is the father of Rachel Willis.

Who she? She girl who, until recently, was face of AOL.

AOL has just announced the inclusion of weblog technology in the next version of its service.

I’m sure that, given time, even the most clueless PR hack will be able to put the pieces together.

On a lighter and brighter note, I met Carolyn Bennett on Monday night and she has very kindly furnished me with linkage.

Carol’s quite excited by the concept of blogging (her site already includes rolling updates, so she’s pretty much halfway there). If you live in Canada and ‘have the technology’ as they say, then perhaps you should get in touch and make an offer of help. Armed with Movable Type, there’d be no stopping her.

UPDATE – Oh, and there’s this from yesterday’s Guardian… Political blogs: a brief guide

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Date
20030716

Time
14:59
Interns, office relationships and email:

what could possibligh go wrong?

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Date
20030716
Photoshopping
Time
16:53

“I find your lack of faith disturbing…”

Big one’s over at B3ta.

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Date
20030717
The Political Weblog Movement
Time
07:55
Here’s a list of every blogger who attended the recent seminar at Westminster.

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Date
20030717

Time
07:57
Some 19th century textbooks for you to enjoy (link via Ultimate Insult).

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Date
20030717
It’s War! And Somebody’s Telling Porkies!
Time
07:59
Why This Bush Lie? Part 1 (Hint: It wasn’t his first.)

Salon.com also nails down a whopper (registration required).

UPDATE – Sky suspends journalists over bogus story. The ‘launch’ of a cruise missile was staged from a docked vessel. Presumably, a wobbly cardboard set was not available at the time.

BTW, keeping troops in Iraq is costing us £150m a month.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030717
Follow Up
Time
08:02
Snopes.com really is on the ball lately. That intern breakup email blogged yesterday has not only been confirmed, it is quoted in full here. Have fun.

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Date
20030717
Christianity Watch
Time
08:04
Bishop charged over fondling woman in casino. Being highly intoxicated in a gambling den wasn’t quite enough of an expression of freedom, it seems. You can also add profanity to the charge-sheet, apparently he used ‘some nonbishop type language.’

Also, a New Mexico family is suing the local church over a funeral which did not go as expected. The priest allegedly said the deceased was ‘only a middling Catholic who was going straight to hell.’

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Date
20030717
Photoshopping
Time
08:08
London Mayor Mayor Ken Livingstone has offered a £100,000 reward to anyone who can invent a solution for keeping the underground cool. There are some outstanding ideas being aired over at the BBC, and the influence of the photoshopping community is clear. (Here’s one I made earlier.) Kids will be learning about us in art classes within the next decade, you just watch.

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Date
20030717

Time
08:16
How to handle a call from a suicidal person.

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Date
20030717

Time
08:16
Yay! It’s a genuine four-legged chicken.

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Date
20030717
Blogathon 2003
Time
08:21
A mystery donor has so far made two very generous pledges of $25, but I must admit to not recognising the nickname used. You know who you are, so please send me an email so I can let everyone else know.

If you haven’t sponsored yet, get the crowbar out and open your damn wallet.

Also, if you haven’t submitted a question for the day (anything you’ve ever wondered about me or Bloggerheads), then feel free to submit a question now.

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Date
20030717
Universal Church of the Interactive Network
Time
08:25
The call-to-arms yesterday resulted in at least one convert. Welcome to the fold, Rich.

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Date
20030717
Back to Business
Time
08:28
I really think I’ve made the right decision – and at the right time. The whole Political Weblog thing looks set to tick along happily without me. And in the right direction. Job done; time to move on.

Added, on the e-commerce side of things, there is lots and lots and lots of good to be done. My main competitor seems to have a few funny ideas about ethics. I’m looking forward to blowing him out of the water with an honest and sustainable approach to search engine optimisation and online marketing in general.

The main benefit for you guys will be new and valuable content produced by people who can afford it (because they need your attention and genuinely wish to earn your respect).

Hell, I may even (finally) be able to convince one or two of them to open up and talk to us like human beings. Weblogs for MPs set an excellent precedent for this, but to sell the idea I do have to use wanky boardroom-speak like ‘in this case, the person is the brand.’

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Date
20030717

Time
10:37
OK, so this chap goes to test drive a Porsche a couple of weeks ago, at Chilham Sports Cars in Kent.

The car was advertised as having a full service history etc. but when he turned up, the car was a load of crap and they didn’t really give him the time of day.

Before this, CSC had a wonderfully comprehesive site at chilhamsportscars.co.uk – now there’s a new one with some important information for consumers at chilhamsportscars.com

The latter is well worth some Google-juice, IMO:

Chilham Sports Cars

Beware the voice of the publishing consumer.

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Date
20030717
It’s War! And… ahhh, you know the rest by now.
Time
13:12
Bush’s Cover-Up Precedes the Scandal. Again, the path seems to lead back to ‘old-faithful,’ the so-called dodgy dossier. Convenient, and typical of our so-called special friendship.

Now, while we’re on the subject, let’s have a little fun:

Pop along to Downing Street’s website and type ‘dodgy dossier’ into the search engine there. Top result is… yep, you guessed it. Type in ‘fabrications’ and you get the same result.

Entertaining enough in itself, but let us explore further…

Type in ‘Iraq lies’ and the top result is this document claiming that the ‘Oil for food’ program is improving life in Iraq.

Type in ‘warmonger’ and the top result is Tony Blair’s statement opening the Iraqi debate back in March.

I’m sure there’s more. Go and play.

17-30 June, 2003

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Date
20030617

Time
08:30
My Domokun Kettle arrived this morning. I plan on using it at the office. When I get one.

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Date
20030617

Time
08:31
Man stabbed to death during chess game. Police say men ‘may have been drinking.’

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Date
20030617

Time
08:33
OK, so only 33 items were really stolen from the Iraqi National Museum (not counting the loot already in place at the British Museum) but I’m pretty sure that the 350 animals missing from Baghdad zoo weren’t spirited away into a cellar for safekeeping.

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Date
20030617
Riding High on Blogdex
Time
08:39
Hatfields and McCoys sign truce.

Is my memory playing tricks on me, or had a truce already been signed decades ago?

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Date
20030617

Time
08:41
Homeless serving as billboards. They’re paid in pizza, soda and ‘a few dollars.’ I’ll bet you more than a few dollars that they’re paid significantly less than your average human billboard.

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Date
20030617

Time
08:44
18th century emoticon found.

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Date
20030617
Delays, Delays, Delays
Time
08:45
Man stalks woman 30 years after taking her to the prom. He told police he had been trying to get the ‘nerve up’ to ask her out.

Man spends 5 years awaiting trial for murder. He was aquitted in 15 minutes.

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Date
20030617

Time
08:49
What is it with drive-throughs and crime? This undercover officer spent close to a month dressed as a McDonald’s employee. Keeping a sharp eye out for naughty behaviour in customers’ cars, he made six arrests and issued 29 citations. The (law-abiding) owner of the restaurant didn’t know anything about it, and now he’s as mad as hell.

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Date
20030617

Time
08:55
Interaction with people from different walks of live and access to multiple channels of communication is widening our personal political spectrum. For me, the main effect of the Interwebnet is an overwhelming disappointment that none of the related graphs are shaped like a willy.

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Date
20030617
Christianity Watch
Time
08:59
Cherbear’s Den is absolutely the final word in Christian children’s literature and fine illustration. The Kids Cave and Teen Caverns warrant special attention.

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Date
20030617
The Political Weblog Movement
Time
09:05
The Times reports on Tom Watson’s weblog. This link requires paid registration from dirty foreigners, so here’s the guts of it:

“With perhaps half a million people in the UK sharing their thoughts via personal weblogs, it is remarkable that elected politicians are failing to use the medium to communicate more vital matters with their constituents. They could publish when and what they wanted, offer instant comment on the day’s news, and push the issues that concern them. Yet only Tom Watson, MP for West Bromwich East, is currently doing so.”

I’m hoping to change this situation very, very soon.

UPDATE – Take time out of your day to welcome Richard Allan MP to the wonderful world of weblogs. I was very impressed by the very early post about Blog Aims.

BTW, I found this via my now-daily use of Technorati, which brought up this post by Simon Willison. Simon notes with a knowing smile that Richard is a Liberal Democrat spokesman on information technology. Perhaps he can have a word with his colleague Lembit Öpik, who is aware of the technology but has yet to bite the bullet.

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Date
20030617

Time
12:25
Like me, you’ve probably received a few variations of this email from the ‘invincible spammer,’ with wonderfully endearing passages such as:

”Why are we so successful?? 1. Because, simply put, NO ONE can bring us down! And 2. Because we and because when you get right down to it, PEOPLE ARE LIKE SHEEP, and if the “sheep” get enough e-mail shoved at them, the sheep WILL become customers!”

On closer inspection, these repeat emails seem to be part of what is known as a ‘Joe Job’ (where someone sends spam while posing as another web user in order to get that user into trouble). Folks in news.admin.net-abuse.email seem to think so, too.

In fact, given that it taunts the user so blatantly and follows this with a comprehensive list of contact addresses and personal phone numbers – and targets one of the few spammers to actually make the news (Richard Schueler: 1, 2) – I’d say this is a pretty fair bet.

Then again, it could very well be the world’s cheekiest double-bluff.

The ‘victims’ (myrxbiz.com) are, after all, able to proudly claim that they run the ‘#1 online pharmacy affiliate program’ and still keep a straight face.

Sure, I could follow the money by doing a WHOIS of all the URLs linked in the mail or maybe chase up who runs the 1-800 numbers you have to call to ‘unsubcribe from this genuine opt-in list,’ but life is too short.

If anyone comes across a site obsessive enough to nail this one down, do please drop me a line. I’d love to see how the whole thing turns out.

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Date
20030617
Flash Music Video
Time
14:09
OK… Spain. Have we done Spain yet?

Viva el pop geek!

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030617
The Political Weblog Movement
Time
15:48
Technorati tells me that Richard Allan is already enjoying fresh linkage from Al and Lance. Richard has also been kind enough to blogroll me. Can you feel the love, brethren?

I’d also like to introduce you all to the freshly formed weblog of James Mills, Conservative Councillor for Standlake, Aston & Stanton Harcourt.

Both Richard and James have been added to the Why Politicians Need Weblogs page.

While we’re on the subject, do check out the eye-straining but thought-provoking ‘e-Democracy exchange’ over at Big Blogger. The recent Cluetrain-inspired post is dead-on.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030617

Time
16:15
Ahahahahaha! A great find by Tom: The Italian arm of Powergen is available at the following wonderful, wonderful URL. Amazingly, no-one thought to add a dash where it would do the most good:

www.powergenitalia.com

This is not only highly embarrassing for Powergen; it has also robbed a potential penis-enlarging spammer of a valuable and downright catchy domain name.

(And before you threadwaste… it’s already been posted to B3ta 1,263 times. Don’t bother. Bloody hell – and now I see that it was in Friday’s NTK. How the hell did I miss that?)

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030618

Time
08:41
Earn yourself 10 grand by pimping your girl friends.

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Date
20030618
Does What It Says On The Tin
Time
08:42
www.bootlegactionfigures.com

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030618
Riding High on Blogdex
Time
08:45
We’re all a bunch of lying sickos. We all steal, too. Best quote from the former article?

“So which is the bigger threat to America? The big companies or the criminals at the computer?”

I think the biggest threat is, and always has been, people with their head so far up their arse that they can see what’s for breakfast tomorrow. I found it quite interesting that, after this regular ‘Memo’ piece, he didn’t have time for ‘The Most Ridiculous Item of the Day.’

UPDATE – Here’s another blogger’s thoughts on Mr O’Reilly’s rant, which links to an even better point-by-point post by yet another blogger. Follow your nose.

UPDATE 2 – This MSNBC article is even better. It intertwines with blogger’s comments, and even uses Technorati to guide you to more recent information. I’d like to see more of this – and not just in articles about the Interwebnet.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030618

Time
08:52
“I’m gonna get Truckasaurus on yo ass, boy!”

Business owner chases and runs over robbery suspects in his Humvee. (Includes wonderful picture and even better reader survey: ‘Should a business owner who ran over a group of robbery suspects in his Hummer face charges?’)

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030618

Time
09:02
Shit! Look at the time!

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030618
Frequently Arsed Questions
Time
09:03
“Why can’t I make comments on your weblog?”

Because I want you to make comments on yours. Oh, you don’t have a weblog? Well, now we’re getting closer to the point…

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030618

Time
09:09
The great Blogspot Exodus. Dean’s pushing the hard stuff. Well worth the move, IMO. I’m thinking of doing the same (but I’ll still be hiding my archives from Google). Only problem is, I blog like a bloody madman. There’s months and months of material to shift over to any new format, and even with a clever macro device of some sort, it would still take about 6 weeks to modify and transfer all of the old data. For now, I think I’ll stick to being somewhat of an anachronism. Unless, of course, anyone wants to pay me to take 6 weeks off work…

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030618

Time
09:16
From a journalist who was at last week’s blog conference

Companies get into weblog act:

“The best blogs don’t just deliver authoritative information; they resonate with the personalities of their creators.”

Well said.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030618

Time
09:26
‘Virgin Mary in hospital window’ claim poo-pooed by the Vatican.

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Date
20030618

Time
09:29
Man keeps wife captive for two years in impenetrable fortress fashioned from boards, nails, combination padlocks, and quite a few sheets of aluminium foil. What, no duct tape?

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030618

Time
09:32
George Bush looks to be gearing up for the next election: a new program is set to expand the internet-voting capability of military and overseas voters. If you’ve read Stupid White Men, you’ll know why this is so significant.

Incidentally, just before the war, Michael Moore’s forums were down ‘temporarily’ for ‘technical reasons.’ Now the forums have been completely removed from the navigation bar like they never existed at all. This, we can assume, has also been done purely for ‘technical reasons.’

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030618
Tony Blair’s Email
Time
09:49
Still no word from Tim Yeo. Tomorrow, it will be a full week since I emailed him. Don’t make me get angry, Tim.

BTW, some good did come of the lame stunt. A statement came from No.10 that went beyond the ‘in the new year’ promise that we’re all so familiar with. Someone, somewhere, let slip with the promise of delivery ‘in the coming weeks.’

I plan on holding them to that.

So, do you think that I should give them 2, 4 or 6 weeks before cutting loose again with a fresh clue-by-four? Emails to the usual address.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030618
The Political Weblog Movement
Time
11:23
Here’s someone who just started a blog and three or four posts in he asks his MP to do the same:

“These are people that represent us. We voted for them. I think this is a fantastic way for people to have access to them and get to know them a bit better. I have no idea how my MP usually votes, or where he stands on most issues. If I read his/her weblog frequently, I think I’d be in a better position to judge whether I wanted that person to represent me.”

This certainly is turning out to be a jolly week.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030618
Telemarketers
Time
11:26
“Hello, is Mr Bacon there?”

This cute article includes a link for people who want to go on a no-call list in North Dakota. There are links to a bunch of other state-by-state services here. Why no national service like we have here in the UK? What am I missing?

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030618

Time
12:25
Yet another new blog tool. Like Blogdex, only faster. Thanks, Rich.

Pretty snappy stuff, but it lacks one important feature that makes Blogdex the Daddy – the ability to roll over a charted link to see a range of comments from different linkers and also click through to a page that lets me see a more comprehensive breakdown of who said what as they linked.

Did you get all that?

Sorry, someone’s using a weed-whacker outside my window, and it’s very hard to think straight WITH ALL THIS BLOODY NOISE!

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030618

Time
14:40
Taliban staging a wilful comeback. I saw a bit of news on this last night. The U.S. still has troops in the region, but I’m not sure if they’re the best and brightest. One marine who was interviewed by the BBC said:

“The locals like to come out and take pop-shots at us.”

The filthy beasts!

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030618
The Political Weblog Movement
Time
14:47
Plenty of link love is rolling in for Richard Allan. Ernie the Attorney enhanced his link with some excellent comments:

“This blogging thing isn’t for every politician. Some politicians have specialised handlers that control the press, or at least control it sufficiently to ‘get their message out.’ They don’t worry if the press doesn’t get into detail because there is no detail being given out. If you have a simplistic message, then you sure as hell don’t want to post it on the web where people can see it for what it is. Blogs are as interesting to those types of politicians as sunshine is to cockroaches.”

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Date
20030618
Spamwatch
Time
16:14
CP Direct managed to shift $74 million in penis/breast/ego/etc. enlarging pills, and would be operating still had they not decided to also illegally charge consumers’ credit cards.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030618
Tony Blair’s Email
Time
16:39
I’ve just checked my ‘Sent Items’ folder and it looks like Tim Yeo has until about midday tomorrow to get back to me by email before a full week has passed. Right now I’m standing by and ready to start ‘shopping.

You don’t necessarily have to apologise, Tim – just practice what you preach and answer my bloody email!

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030619
The Political Weblog Movement
Time
00:07
The following is a reply to an email questioning a number of matters relating to political weblogs. The person I’m replying to is quite right to play devil’s advocate, but to prove my point I pretty much had to go public with the reply.

The original email (that I’m not at liberty to blog) questioned the motives of politicians who might in future set out to abuse this channel in the same way that those loveable rascals from Richards Interactive did with the Raging Cow fiasco. It also questioned the true effectiveness of ‘mere’ online support, citing the recent failure of Gary Hart to secure that all-important nomination. Howard Dean may have garnered some beefy support of ye olde-fashioned new-meedja nature, but Gary Hart is currently the only U.S. politician with a genuine weblog. You want proof that it’s genuine? Try the tone of this:

” In the coming days I will be returning the many contributions that were made to this website and to our effort. I know that many of you have many charities you are supporting. If you choose to do so, you might consider sending all or part of your original contribution to me to one of the several very worthy efforts I support…”

If I’m wrong or even just kind of weak on any front, please feel free to comment. On your own damn weblog.

Sorry there’s no permalink. If enough people ask nicely, I’ll draw up a static page.

Cheers all.

Note – This entry will be forward-dated to midnight (once it passes) to simplify my archives. I have some rather dull and quite demanding work to do tomorrow, so this could well be the only post for the 19th. Sorry about that.

Hey (insert name here),

As it happens, I’ve been thinking about quite a few of the points you’ve raised (just in the last 24 hours) because the recent appearance of another MP’s weblog just raised the bar.

I’m not sure if I blogged this point or sent it off to a marketing mailing list, but I have acknowledged that there is a honeymoon period that will not last. The only other MP to get that ‘hey, look!’ effect automatically will be a Conservative MP.

After this, it will be a race to engage. A good thing, then, that engagement is the key.

Distancing myself from the creation of Tom’s blog, then, I can honestly tell you that I have become more interested in him as a person. Granted, I’ve had the rare privilege of facetime with the man, but a good blog can have this same effect.

Because I have established a relationship with Tom, I’m prepared to lend him my ear from time to time about matters that may or may not interest me. (If you’re married, I’m sure you can relate.)

As a result, I’ve read quite a few documents and pretty much ‘sat in’ on a few debates that I otherwise wouldn’t have given a damn about. A simple morphing of the ‘press release’ section into a faux-blog does not achieve this. Who’d visit? Who’d care?

The same goes for my blog – and you’ll have to trust me when I tell you that I have experienced the flipside. When I went into a recent spiral of political turmoil and introspection, I noticed my regular readership dropping considerably. There was far too much of ‘I think this!’ and not enough ‘Hey, isn’t this interesting?’

Talk of kittens has its place, and plays an important role.

We as readers have to be given a sense of person as well as purpose. Radio and television have allowed past politicians to express aspects of this in the past and – granted – many may have succeeded purely because of their ability to ‘play’ on their chosen communication channel.

Churchill understood the value of radio and played it well. It has been alleged that he actually had a voiceover stand-in for many broadcasts – but no-one was free to talk back to their radio.

Kennedy made great TV. This kept that supreme arsehole Nixon at bay for a time, but those small voices who would perhaps mention that they worked as an intern but were mostly paid to give the JFK blowjobs had no way to speak out (if, indeed, there were a time when their mouths weren’t full).

The closest precedent I can cite is the advent of moveable type leading to the publication of Bibles for everyone. Not just media owners (sorry, better make that ‘religious leaders’).

Suddenly everyone was free to read and interpret this all-powerful book. And publish their own thoughts on its true meaning.

Some of the biggest opinion formers of this time where known as ‘pamphleteers.’

We, as bloggers, are the pamphleteers of the 21st century.

Added, the blog system is self-correcting. Even if Google discounts them (a paranoid claim by a complete arsehole that has recently been refuted) people have had a taste of what they can offer. They will seek out an aggregator of a similar nature if they are robbed of it via their usual channel.

Blogs give everyone a voice. And a willingness to listen. When it counts.

A politician is not a god. Or even a demi-god. They need help to make things happen. I’ve seen this happen in some small way on Tom’s blog when he took on the local store with a litter problem and in many other ways on my own site.

It can also happen in a larger sense, as when folks search for info on air gun laws and are drawn via Google to Tom’s posts on the matter.

But if we don’t give a damn about Tom as a person, then we’re not going to get off our arse for him, now are we?

It also has to be added here that nothing really happens as a result of a mere link or search result.

But…

People exposed to ‘exclusive’ information in any shape or form often feel empowered enough to tell others about it. Not just by email, not just via their blog; but in real life as well.

If the information proves to be valuable, then these people draw an audience. A real-life audience. An audience that listens.

They knew first about this. They warned you about that. They’re worth listening to. This is how one small spark can spread to people actually willing to do something beyond committing to the Jedi religion for a laugh.

Another ‘but’…

I’ve tried to drive a few things forward on Bloggerheads, and it’s only the core audience that actually does anything. If what I try to do is too damn commercial or somewhat misguided, then I’m usually questioned or corrected (gently) on these matters.

If I try to do something Right, suddenly I find myself with new core members. Funny, that.

I’ve got to tell you, this is the best moral compass I have ever come across.

Being in the marketing game (maybe one evolutionary step up or down from the political game) I’m often prone to corruption.

Now I simply can’t afford to take that risk – but I’m enjoying greater benefits than I ever have before. And. I. Fucking. Love it!

Now I can simply float an idea to see who wants to make it a reality.

Now I can engage people all over the globe and actually make things happen.

But only if I strike the right chord.

There’s this feeling you get when you first encounter the Interwebnet. That ‘wow, millions of users at my fingertips’ feeling that leads to so many misguided missives about politics, religion, or the latest way to enlarge your penis.

Most of these are drowned in everyday noise and die a deserving death, but those that matter do rise to the top.

A human voice cannot be faked (and even if it can at a level enough to fool some, this deception is sure to be mentioned by those who are a little smarter about such things).

The result?

This is honest, unedited information, but open to comment that can lead to the growth, or destruction, of any given idea.

The more reasonable and/or altruistic the idea, the more likely it is to succeed.

The catch?

The idea – and the person delivering it – have to be pretty damn engaging and worthy of our trust.

If they aren’t, well, we’re sure to hear about that instead.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030619
The Political Weblog Movement
Time
00:10
Al has, as suggested, blogged his letter to his local representative asking them to get blogging.

Sorry, I forgot to use the word ‘blog’ there.

BLOG!

Happy now?

I’ve yet to do the same, but as I’ve already emailed, called and hounded Sue Doughty’s office for months on this matter, I fear any new messages may be taken out of context. They’d probably start with ‘Oi!’ and go downhill fast from there.

(For pity’s sake! Her office is 10 minutes away from my webshed, and I can pretty much turn up there at a moment’s notice. Can she not find the time to at least talk to me about this?)

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030619

Time
00:21
It’s not often that El Reg will place a plug so blatantly, but here, it’s well-deserved. As Scott notes, £171 ain’t much – but it’s a start.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030619

Time
08:38
Wow. Now every day can be May Day. I’m just about to post this to the Urban75 forums.

“Hey where did all these people come from? Wait a minute – where did everybody go?”

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030619
It’s War! And We’re Ready To Believe Anything!
Time
08:43
Place not your trust in common sense:

A third of the American public believes U.S. forces have found weapons of mass destruction in Iraq.

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Date
20030619
Voice Of Experience
Time
08:49
You may wish to keep the following in mind:

It is not a good idea to teach your spell checker dirty words.

I got into the habit a long time ago of clicking the ‘Add’ button instead of ‘Ignore’ if a non-dictionary word cropped up here or there (this saves me time if I wish to use non-dictionary words like, say, ‘blog’).

However… because I have been known to use filthy language in the past and have out of sheer habit added an unsavoury word or two to the dictionary, yesterday I came *this* close to sending an email warning that: ‘there are sections that may need to be felched out.’

The danger is there. You have been warned.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030619
The Political Weblog Movement
Time
08:54
Take a sneaky-peek into the life of an MP:

Questions to the PM: The Limelight Lottery

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Date
20030619
Tony Blair’s Email
Time
09:46
This is a picture of Tim Yeo. It will change before your very eyes in just over two hours from now. Unless, of course, he gets off his bum and emails me before then.

UPDATE – The Guardian is at it again. Check out the following back-handed acknowledgement:

“Tim Yeo, shadow trade and industry secretary, last week followed a legion of cyber bores in pointing out that Tony Blair does not have a public email address.”

Legion are we? Boring is it?

“Like most good political japes, Yeo’s stunt scores because it exposes a genuine weakness.”

Ex-squeeze me? Bloggerheads exposed this weakness months and months and months and months ago. And that was only step one. But obviously this doesn’t count because it’s just another sodding website.

If it weren’t for the push from Bloggerheads and support from readers (including one or two MPs), Blair’s communications team would not be moving on this at all. At all.

Eight months of my life hijacked by a Conservative with a bloody Hotmail address. I’m getting increasingly upset about this.

Tim Yeo is an asshat. And he eats children’s eyeballs.

(I know I’m an hour early with the first pic, but dammit I’m angry.)

Tim Yeo wants to be involved with the project? Fine. Then he should be prepared to get naked. A lot.

He wants publicity? He’s going to get it in spades.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030619
The Tim Yeo Project
Time
12:02
Right, there you have it. A week has passed. Tim Yeo, the man so concerned about the PM’s lack of email address, can’t even answer his own bloody email.

He doesn’t even have a website. But we can soon fix that.

UPDATE – Yup, we sure can. Tim Yeo – The Weblog is live. That took about 5 minutes. About the same amount of time it takes to set up a Hotmail address. I feel so dirty.

A week is a long time in politics. This time next week, search results for ‘Tim Yeo’ are going to be interesting to say the least.

Far be it from me to steal material from another website, but this just has to be said:

I’m about to get 21st century on his ass.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030619
A Blog Is Born
Time
13:31
Hooray! Long-time Usenutter ickle sheep has just started a blog. You’ll like ickle. We’ve shared beer on many occasions. It’s not easy with only one straw, but we get by.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030619
Tim Yeo: Campaign Hijacker
Time
15:53
A special page has been created to acknowledge Tom Yeo’s grand contribution to the Tony Blair email campaign. The first nude image is already live. When will the nonsense end? When I get due credit for work done to date – and an apology from Tim Yeo – on the Conservatives website and in at least one major newspaper.

Lesson to be learned: If you mess with a turtle, expect to get flippered.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030619
Flash Music Video
Time
17:06
JPEG Baby is only getting about 500 views a day at the mo, but perhaps it’s worth considering a suitable replacement for Terry Wogan. Now, let me see, who would make an excellent candidate…

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030620
The Political Weblog Movement
Time
07:43
Whoa! Cool your jets, people.

I was worried this might happen. Ickle has started a weblog on behalf of his MP. I’ve actually considered this as an option to push the whole MP weblog thing forward, but caution is required.

If there’s a sudden rash of weblogs ‘on behalf of’ MPs that show what they should be doing, then this could very well work – but if the only story that reaches them has a negative spin (e.g. ‘Weblogs Attack MPs’), then that’s all they’re going to want to know about weblogs and they’re going to run a mile.

If you’re going to do this, do try to show your fluffy side, folks. Help them to understand weblogs. Make them want a weblog. You may also want to link to Richard Allan and Tom Watson in the nav-bar so they can see what a real MP weblog looks like. Above all, be nice.

Unless, of course, the MP in question is, say, a hijacking hypocrite who’s stolen 8 months of your work for his own benefit. In which case, feel free to go completely bonkers. Who am I to say no?

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030620

Time
07:52
Scott never learned Oatmeal Box Pinhole Photography at school. I did. (Nerny-nerny-ner-ner!) In fact, I went to a school for gifted children, so we were trusted to (*gasp*) actually make our own box.

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Date
20030620
Clue-By-Four Required
Time
07:56
Oh, FFS. Some idiot company just hassled groovymother.com for using the word ‘clue by four’ because – wait for it – they own the trademark and are ‘in the process of bringing that product to market.’

They’re sure to be after me next. There’s quite a few indexed references from Bloggerheads in Google’s database and countless others in my archives.

Well, good luck to them. I have the feeling they’re going to be their own best customer.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030620

Time
08:08
U.S. Rep. Mark Foley targets nudist summer camp for teenagers. There’s more info about the camp in this article by the New York Times (requires registration).

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030620

Time
08:13
Police shut down little girl’s lemonade stand. She didn’t have a temporary business permit. Seriously.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030620
Murdoch is a Bastard
Time
08:15
Media bill under threat as Lords warm to ‘Murdoch’ amendment. Hurray for the House of Lords! May Dog bless one of our few remaining safety-valves.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030620
Tim Yeo’s Hotmail Account Terminated
Time
08:23
Oh dear, whatever can this mean?

This Message was undeliverable due to the following reason:

Each of the following recipients was rejected by a remote mail server.

The reasons given by the server are included to help you determine why each recipient was rejected.

Recipient: rthontonyblairmp@hotmail.com

Reason: Requested action not taken: mailbox unavailable

Perhaps it has something to do with this:

Hello Tim ,

We have taken appropriate action in accordance with the MSN Terms of Use (TOU) on the account: rthontonyblairmp@hotmail.com that you reported.

You can view our rules and regulations at:

http://privacy.msn.com/tou/default.asp

MSN Hotmail Customer Support

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030620

Time
08:27
A third of of Australians cruise through life stoned. It’s the only way to silence the voices…

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030620
Tim Yeo: Campaign Hijacker
Time
09:32
The Tim Yeo Nude Gallery has been updated with the following image entitled: ‘Modesty Above All.’

We thank you.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030620

Time
10:04
Senator Hatch, the man who wants to blow up your computer if you use copyrighted material without permission, uses an unlicensed copy of a JavaScript menu system on his official website. (Cheers to Mark for the heads-up. I missed it on Blogdex this morning.)

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030620
It’s War! And Somebody’s Telling Porkies!
Time
14:18
Christian Science Monitor: Galloway papers deemed forgeries. I just heard on the radio that good ol’ George has refused to accept their apology. But the Telegraph is standing its ground, too. They claim that their document is completely different from the six pages upon which the CSM based its story. The Telegraph document was also tested by CSM, and judged to be ‘genuine.’ And, we can assume, mysteriously fire-proof.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030620
Flash Music Video
Time
16:03
JPEG Baby is getting hundreds and hundreds of lovely visitors, thanks to pluggage by Vancouver radio station, 99.3 the FOX. A big hello to everybody who made it to the main blog.

HELLLLOOOOOOO!

We’d like you to hassle more radio stations, please. Call and request ‘JPEG Baby’ today. We want worldwide airplay without a record deal. Just to make a point.

Total page views since launch: 57,570

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030620

Time
16:18
Google calls in the ‘language police’. Fair enough, this one – they created the word. But to be included in the dictionary and used in everyday language is actually pretty cool. Almost priceless when it means free plugs on TV shows like ER. And it helps Robbie Williams to get laid. That’s got to be a good thing. The poor guy meets women in the U.S. and when he first gives them his name they (probably) usually say: “You know, you’re not as old/hairy/funny as I thought you would be. Go on, do ‘Mork’ for me.”

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030620
The Political Weblog Movement
Time
17:55
From Richard Allan, Lib-Dem MP and blogger:

“It has been a splendid first week’s blogging. I’ve had more comments in one week than my regular website received in months – I knew the format was strong but am still mightily impressed.

“And, what’s more, I’ve really enjoyed it! It really is a very engaging way to carry on a conversation with lots of people on subjects of mutual interest.”

More words of wisdom at the blog itself. Go visit. If you’re an MP, pay attention!

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030621
Tim Yeo – Where Is The Apology?
Time
00:37
Tim, don’t talk to your lawyers. They just want money.

Me…? I just want an apology..

Just email me like a goddamn gentleman, and I guarantee that you will be amazed at how fast things can change.

Do nothing, and I guarantee that you will be amazed at how fast things can change.

One email. You remember email, don’t you? You were hassling the PM about it just last week….

In fact, if you get off your arse fast enough, you can be the first ever Conservative MP with a weblog – plus win a massive and appreciative audience into the bargain! And all you have to do is (*shock-horror*) admit that you’re human.

And do you know what?

If you won’t be the first Conservative MP with a weblog, somebody else from your party will.

However…

If you step up to the plate now… If you present yourself honestly.. If you get online and Join. The. Sodding. Conversation… you can not only turn this thing around, you can give me a genuine nosebleed.

Walk the walk. Embrace technology. Start a weblog.

Conversations are the future. Come and talk with us, or stand back and watch us talk about you. At length. With illustrations.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030622

Time
12:18
Police have arrested a man who gatecrashed Prince William’s 21st birthday party at Windsor Castle last night. Please, please, please let this unnamed man be Karl Power.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030622

Time
12:22
Bloggerheads is now listed at blogwise.com (the specific listing is here). I’ll have a play with the system tomorrow, or maybe sometime today when my hangover recedes to a dull roar.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030622
Flash Music Video
Time
12:25
JPEG Baby is big in Japan again after a listing at this site. The song also got another airing on WZBC 90.3FM thanks to Steve. Cheers, mate.

Now, if I can manage to finagle a record deal, do you think we could run a successful campaign to have this joyful little wankfest top the charts? I’m dying to appear on Top of the Pop Shots.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030622

Time
12:45
I went to a wedding yesterday and met a lot of very nice people. Some of them may end up here this afternoon.

Hello.

That very long story about Tony Blair starts here.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030623
It’s War! And I’m Confused!
Time
08:26
“The museum wasn’t looted; most items where taken downstairs for storage.”

Ah, but now we find that the storerooms have been looted. The next development is sure to be a claim that the storerooms weren’t looted; concerned citizens (and some foreign journalists) merely took individual items home for safekeeping.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030623
Riding High on Blogdex
Time
08:27
Democrats Go Off the Cliff. It’s very worrying to live in a country without a cohesive and effective opposition. If these guys don’t get their act together, 2004 will be a cakewalk for The Evil One.

Interestingly, this is also charting well today:

“The Democrats seem unable to locate an issue with which to oppose Bush, most having voted for everything he’s requested to date. May I suggest the truth? The single image Bush has promoted is flag-waving hero of the Republic. The evidence proves he is a coward.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030623

Time
08:28
Do you suffer from Sexsomnia?

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030623

Time
08:31
More Barbies than you can poke a non-articulated limb at. Neo-Nazi Barbie comes with the following disclaimer from the artist:

“Please note: I do not endorse nazis. Nor do I endorse Barbies.”

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030623

Time
08:33
Media blitz ensures the return of little girl’s lemonade stand. Police and city officials have caught most of the flak, but the curtain-twitching Grinch behind the complaint that forced them to act remains happily anonymous.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030623

Time
08:37
And you think that I have too much time on my hands? Summaries of The Price Is Right will bring tears to your eyes – even if it does only cover seasons 28, 29, 30 and 31. The design, BTW, shows very clearly why JPEGs never can and never will be able to take the place of GIFs.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030623

Time
08:40
Visitors flocking to see the (alleged) apparition of the Virgin Mary in a window of Milton Hospital have been interfering with staff and patients, so administrators have put a tarp over the window. Now, instead of a lot of curious people filling the car park, they have a lot of angry people filling the car park.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030623
Christianity Watch
Time
08:41
How long has it been since you visited Bibleman?

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030623

Time
08:43
The Corporate Blog Is Catching On (requires registration).

Core messages to take away:

1. Personality is the key

2. Use a trusted employee

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030623

Time
08:47
A wonderful gallery of pre-prohibition products (via Ultimate Insult). I love the coca-wine that promotes itself as a cure for addication to opium or alcohol.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030623
Welcome to the 21st Century
Time
08:53
See George Bush falling off a Segway.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030623

Time
08:54
School bus driver asks children for directions and is taken on 20-mile detour. It took him two hours to complete a 10-minute journey.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030623
Tim Yeo: Campaign Hijacker
Time
08:56
There’ll be some more Tim Yeo action here and at the weblog later today. Today’s gallery inclusion is a submission, and I’m just trying to clear up the matter of a credit link.

Google results should be in my tomorrow morning. Here’s hoping that Tim sees sense before then and gets in touch.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030623
Updates
Time
12:42
If you’ve been here for a while, you probably already know that the ‘follow me’ section of the nav-bar is – primarily – a listing of sites, portals of communities that I visit every day. As my habits change, it becomes necessary to update this section of the nav-bar.

Today, changes have been made in order to trim sites that I no longer visit as much as I used to, and to include technorati and zfilter.

A new category has also been added to represent a new and growing interest in weblogs by MPs. I hope this will soon grow so out of control that it will have to be removed from the nav-bar and put on a separate page where it can enjoy more elbow-room.

Finally, a long-overdue personal, professional and political profile had been added to the site (and is linked under the ‘who he?’ section of the nav-bar).

That is all.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030623
Mustard Man
Time
13:08
Mike ‘Nug’ Nahrgang (see ‘Mustard Man’ for details) is participating in the 2003 Canadian National Finals of the World Beer Games. There’s a bunch of folks over at Fark having fun with one of the images right now. Enjoy.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030623
Music
Time
13:29
Anyone here from in and around Sydney? Make time to go and see Anthony Snape perform live this week. Those little hairs on the back of your neck will thank you for it. Oh, and tell him I said ‘hi.’

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030623

Time
16:42
This is a very nice piece on the recent Google (TM) hissy fit from Wordlab. The one thing Google can’t afford to do is piss people off or get heartlessly corporate – or try to reduce the way we use their brand in conversation. This is the trend that built their brand. Trying to reverse it seems somewhat backward.

A lot of ‘most popular search’ lists on other search engines are now often topped by the word (note ‘word’, not ‘brand’) ‘google.’

These days, the answer a lot of people give instead of “I don’t know!” or “Look it up!” is: “I don’t know. Have you googled it?”

I don’t want to be worried about the bloody trademark police every time I consciously or unconsciously refer new users to their service.

I’m hoping they’ll rethink this and get back to us.

If not, perhaps we can get DNA’s family to back us up on a strategic countersuit…

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030623

Time
16:55
Don’t let Bush being and arsehole blind you to the real threat of terrorism. I agree; the threat is there. Worse, the Bush administration is actually trying to use the threat to their advantage.

Incidentally, I was quite worried last month that the Big Brother house was a prime UK target (poor security, high visibility, low payload requirement, guaranteed footage, etc.) but now I’ve relaxed a bit. Nothing to do with decreased vigilance, it’s just become obvious that no-one is watching the damn thing.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030624

Time
08:27
Heh. Did George Bush fall off his Segway deliberately to support his chums in the oil industry?

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030624
Anybody But George
Time
08:29
Wesley Clark is dragging his heels, but Howard Dean has announced his candidacy. This has a few people excited, but I still think his faux-blog is pants.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030624
Riding High on Blogdex
Time
08:32
The American Apology Shirt allows you to travel in style, comfort and greatly increased safety, thanks to an important message printed clearly in Arabic, Chinese, English, French, Spanish, and Russian. Go and look. You’ll love it.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030624
Look It Up
Time
08:37
George Washington made his own whiskey. He also grew his own cannabis (and made at least one diary entry about separating the male and female plants, which is what you do if you want to use it for something besides making rope). Of course, it was Thomas Jefferson who penned ‘the pursuit of happiness’ into the constitution, but he was a notorious pothead, too.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030624

Time
08:42
That Honda ad (which I still think uses more than a little CGI trickery) won’t be screened in the U.S., as advertisers are worried that Americans won’t understand it. Perhaps they can add a little shouty person in the corner, then.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030624
Christianity Watch
Time
08:50
Smile, children! It’s Binkles the Christian Clown, and he’s here to to present a fun and funky lesson that will help you to memorise a bible verse, a few songs and an ‘unforgettable’ bible story. Most worrying of all, the site promises that: “an invitation to recieve (sic) Jesus as personal Savior and Lord is always given at the conclusion.”

(Link via fellow agnostic Scott.)

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030624
Flash Music Video
Time
08:55
Today, JPEG Baby reaches all the way to the sunny shores of Iceland. Total page views since launch: 62,963.

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Date
20030624

Time
09:04
A Blogger’s Big-Fish Fantasy (requires registration).

Quite rightly notes that ‘linking to others gets links.’ But not always. Keep it in context, people. Have something to say.

For the record, I watch my stats a lot. I’m not so worried about traffic, more about patterns.

For instance, I know from my stats that there are at least 50 of you who deliberately tune in between 8:30am-9:30am (GMT) when I do the bulk of my blogging, presumably so you can have the pleasure of watching me correct my spoiling mistakes.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030624
Blogs and Money
Time
09:11
Here’s a little tool that lets you preview Adsense, the new blogvertising service from Google. It seems to think that I’d do best selling blog tools. Funny, that.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030624
Follow Up
Time
09:12
Can’t critic see camp is nude, but not lewd? So who’s doing the exploiting; the nudist camp, or Mark Foley?

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Date
20030624

Time
09:14
I scream, you scream… PossePops is the new ice confection being touted by none other than Ice T. They look like more or less like chocolate chipwiches, but each ice cream comes with a wrapper that dares you – in authentic street-speak – to say ‘no’ to drugs, wear a condom, and go to school.

“Eat + read + learn = word!” Yo!

In (arguably) related news, a novelty ‘shock’ pen sold though ice cream vans and local markets is causing chaos at the Dickey Elementary School in Ontario.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030624
Tim Yeo: Campaign Hijacker
Time
09:28
*sigh*

The tragedy is that this could have been avoided with a simple email last week.

Now I’m after a public apology on the Conservatives website and in a major newspaper (however, if Mr Yeo wishes to bury it bit, I suppose he can always slip this into the letters section or the personal ads).

To paraphrase another of this nation’s great public servants:

“The turtle’s *not* for tipping!”

Will I get my apology?

Well, let’s see…

This morning, searching for Tim Yeo brings up all sorts of wonderful results. The Tim Yeo: Campaign Hijacker page performs best, results for this are as follows:

AOL (#4)

Google (#4)

Yahoo! (#3)

These three search engines are the source of 75% of search engine traffic.

Tom Watson’s entry on the matter snuggles in just below this. The Tim Yeo Weblog rolls in late at #9, and – for today only – FunJunkie gives the whole issue a quick nod, courtesy of a sly change to their Page Title. Go and peek.

You may very well come to the conclusion that Tim Yeo has been ‘googlebombed,’ but such a suggestion is misleading, as Google has not provided the ammunition in this case; Tim has. A better term might be ‘tossbombed,’ then.

UPDATE – The nude gallery now contains a new, submitted image. This was supposed to go live yesterday. Sorry about that.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030624

Time
09:44
Did I blog that powergenitalia.com was a spoof? No? No matter: Snopes to the rescue.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030624
Flash Music Video
Time
11:26
More JPEG Baby forum-love over at this thread at techimo.com. Oh, and here’s some people that didn’t like it at all. At all.

Oh well. You can’t please everybody.

UPDATE – Damn, I’ve been meaning to blog this for ages. Jim Coleman wrote in with the following:

“I just wanted to say that JPEG Baby is possibly the worst piece of music I have ever heard. Why on earth have you made this?”

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030624
Tim Yeo: Campaign Hijacker
Time
11:57
Ahahahahahaha! Justice is done. A few visitors have turned up this morning looking for Tim Yeo’s email address.

Tell you what; I’ll give him 24 hours before publishing the two core addresses he uses on the ‘campaign hijacker’ page where they’ll be much, much easier to find. It’s my duty to Google to provide what people seek, after all.

I’ll be careful to drop a spamblock in, of course. I’m not a complete bastard.

On that note, I’ve emailed Tim Yeo (again) this morning. Maybe you’d care to as well.

Use either of these:

yeot AT parliament DOT uk

timyeomp AT parliament DOT uk

Be nice.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030624
It’s War! And Somebody’s Going To Pay!
Time
15:51
Dozens of children killed by mines and unexploded bombs every day in Iraq (contains disturbing images).

It made me want to spit bullets when Blair turned around after the million-strong march with the new-and-improved humanitarian justification. Now it could very well blow up in his face.

I wonder how many of these leftover devices the UK is responsible for?

I’m not quite sure how much good this petition will do, but if it makes you feel better you may as well sign your life away.

(Links via Joho and Earth-Info.)

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030624

Time
17:17
Hehehehe.

Tom just posted the following comment he got by email regarding the Teens page:

“just to let you kno, your teenz page is the most pathetic attempt at making politics relevant for the younger generation, I have seen in a long while…..Dont try getting down wiv the kidz, let the kidz get up to politics, its time for a real democracy…”

Of course, I can’t be too smug. I did fall for powergenitalia.com, largely because of the same assumption of ignorance.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030625
The Political Weblog Movement
Time
08:13
I wanted to get deeper into the whole pamphleteer/blogger thing, so I asked my Dad (who’s got the learnin’) to have a think about it and maybe send me some details.

The email he sent me is quoted in full below.

Dad isn’t 100% on blogs, so the fact that he pretty much nails it in the first paragraph confirms the parallel for me.

A few points before we go to the email:

1. There were many, many pamphleteers who frittered this opportunity away promoting recipes for cheesecake (or ye olde equivalent).

2. People aren’t as desperate for information as they were then, but after decades of corporate bullshit, they do crave a human voice.

3. I’m sure many of you will get to the end and say: “Ah! So that’s where he gets it from!”

Dear Tim,

It seems that you are right in what you say about pamphleteers being the bloggers of the past. There are a number of criteria that you need to take into consideration when taking a stance and writing on it, however. Firstly, the position and standing of the writer determines the spread of his views. Next, the topic itself must be of interest to a wide audience. Thirdly, the facts presented must bear a ring of truth either spun or unspun. The next point is that the audience must be persuaded to read the material, which is probably the greatest challenge.

The original pamphleteers had a great advantage. People, common people, were thirsty for any news they could get and so anything in print was read and believed by those who held similar views. The views were quoted to support arguments and so the writers of the pamphlets gained notoriety. As time went on, reputation came ahead of content. Today, reputation comes from having access to a column in the print media. People who haven’t are up against the celebrity factor from the start and the catch-up is difficult.

Topics on which pamphlets must be written today are an anathema to most of the apathy-ridden masses. Why do they need to listen to criticism or even think about the policies/decisions of a Government they didn’t vote for when their favourite team/celebrity is undergoing sex changes/ a slump/ bad hair days or what have you. They just don’t give a s***. They have been programmed by the media not to.

If they are inclined to listen, they are so acclimatised to spin being put on the truth that they disbelieve everything they cannot see or touch. Logic is difficult for many to apply, so they don’t. You need to make your facts very simple and very demonstrable, even if they are lies. Remember that the spin-doctors went to the Goebbels School of Propaganda and learned that the more often a lie is told, the sooner it becomes truth and that the bigger the lie, the more likely it is to be believed.

Finally, when you consider that the most that most people read of the news is the headlines outside the newsagents, That may be a worthy place to begin. Make up your own headlines. ‘PRIME MINISTER CAUGHT TELLING THE TRUTH FOR FIRST TIME’ would be immediately believed by everybody, and they would all be wondering what that truth was. Some would even follow up the story.

So you can see the problem you have in front of you. Your content can be the best in the world, truthful and hard-hitting but you are 350 years too late to get it out there easily. I like it, and agree with a lot of it, but you need more readers. How you get them is your greatest challenge.

I could write more, but that is the guts of it. Probably a greater reflection of my own cynicism than a critique, but there you are.

Best wishes

Dad

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030625

Time
08:18
Staffordshire county councillor caught speeding with speed camera he donated to local police.

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Date
20030625
Anybody But George
Time
08:24
This ‘sneak preview of the president’s 2004 campaign’ is charting well on Blogdex.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030625

Time
08:27
Roll over. Play dead. Good boy.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030625
Follow Up
Time
08:27
Crowd gathered at Milton Hospital claim to see second apparition on chimney.

”It’s another sign . . . there is hope for us all, with all that is going on in the world,” said one.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030625

Time
08:33
There are only a few weird and wonderful products in this modest collection, but I you just have to see the portable bedroom mirror.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030625

Time
08:35
Dog born with no forelegs learns to walk upright. It would have been a better story had the dog been born with no hind legs.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030625
Tim Yeo: Campaign Hijacker
Time
08:40
Searches for ‘tim yeo’ in Google now present the ‘campaign hijacker’ page at No.3 and the Tim Yeo weblog at No. 4 (with similar results appearing in AOL and Yahoo lagging behind – for the moment).

These new results and related linkage actually knock his profile at the Conservatives website pretty much out of the picture. This would have been much harder to do with a dedicated website. Especially so if there had been an audience willing to back him up in a similar way.

Hopefully a lesson learned, then.

A new image has been added to the nude gallery. It is entitled:

“The Afterglow of Power”

B3tans got a sneaky-peek at this last night. Unsurprisingly, it broke someone’s brain. Sorry about that.

Mr Yeo should take a closer look at the Tony Blair email campaign to see how long I carried on with that (plus maybe The Star Wars Photoshopping Project to see how long I carried on with that) before deluding himself into thinking that this will pass like a bad stone.

I want my apology.

Does he really want me taking him to task on every promise he makes during the next election?

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030625

Time
09:01
Beware the Paypal Scam!

It’s not the first time this has been done, but it may be the first time for you, so watch out:

Con artists have been sending fake emails purportedly from Paypal, asking members to confirm their username, password, credit card number, etc. etc. etc.

It’s a scam. Learn to spot them for your own protection.

No organisation like Paypal would email you requesting information in such a way. Would your bank call you out of the blue asking for your PIN number?

(In fact, there have been many recent scams just like this, too. The Paypal scam appears to be a mere e-copy of these.)

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030625
Tim Yeo: The Limited Offer
Time
13:15
The following is a complete and unedited copy of an email that is being sent to Tim Yeo in 5, 4, 3, 2…

Dear Mr Yeo,

Somehow I don’t think that this one small issue encapsulates everything you have done or are trying to do as an MP, but as far as 75% of web users who search for your name are concerned, it is presented as the primary issue.

In fact, it’s now presented ahead of your profile at Conservatives.com

Perhaps, then, the small threat of admitting that you actually made a mistake pales into insignificance in this case.

Let us hope so, because I’m about to show you my fluffier side and make a very kind offer. With a shelf-life of precisely 24 hours.

What I Need From You:

- Answer this email within 24 hours.

- Acknowledge that it was a bit cheeky of you to hijack an existing campaign and use it for your own ends.

- Apologise for same.

- Guarantee that you will seek no further publicity on this front and/or promise that you will acknowledge the contribution Bloggerheads has made should the issue come up again.

(optional)

- Ask a question in parliament designed to nail down an actual delivery date on a viable service for Tony Blair (the two previous questions are on record, so how carefully you need to word this question should be obvious).

Many folks that watch Bloggerheads are almost as angry about this as I am, so they’re going to want to see a result. Because of this, I will need to blog your reply in part or total (so please keep this in mind when drafting it).

However, this strictly limited offer does negate the need for you to publish your apology at Conservatives.com and via a major newspaper. Also…

What I Offer In Return:

If we can settle this promptly to the satisfaction of my readers (and myself), it makes sense to simply draw a line under it from there and call it a day. So…

- The Tim Yeo – Campaign Hijacker page will be amended to display the true nature of this issue (i.e. as a simple, and corrected, misunderstanding).

- All nude images (and references to same) will be removed from this page.

- The Tim Yeo weblog will be shut down and removed entirely.

Why This Makes Sense:

I can stop. I can release my vice-like grip. Some form of spiked hammer is not necessary. I cannot, however, guarantee the same of anybody else who comes along and considers this situation to be well out of order. This means that you not only have to worry about escalation of activity from myself, but also from other users who may wish to use you as an IT punching-bag.

The longer this issue is out there and as prominent as this, the greater that risk is. God forbid that a journalist should decide to research your name sometime in the next few days.

I urge you to get in touch today and settle this.

There are more important things in life, and I’d like to get on with them.

I am sure that you feel the same.

Regards,

Tim Ireland

http://www.bloggerheads.com/

(Please note that this email to you has been blogged in its entirety.)

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030625

Time
13:45
Young Rich will want to be quick if he’s planning on dropping by with a ‘Tim Yeo Nude’ submission. I’m hoping that the whole issue will be done with by this time tomorrow.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030625

Time
15:12
Bloggers! Behold your prophet!

“There is one mind common to all individual men. Every man is an inlet to the same and to all of the same. He that is once admitted to the right of reason is made a freeman of the whole estate. What Plato has thought, he may think; what a saint has felt, he may feel; what at any time has be-fallen any man, he can understand. Who hath access to this universal mind is a party to all that is or can be done, for this is the only and sovereign agent.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson

It looks like we have a pretty strong candidate for sainthood here.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030625

Time
15:22
Be warned that Defend Your Castle may look simple at first, but is incredibly addictive once you get past Stage 3 or 4. For full enjoyment – Read. The. Instructions! (Found via FunJunkie.)

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030625

Time
15:48
An almost-live blow-by-blow of Alastair Campbell facing the WMD inquiry. Go watch! (Link via Tom Watson.)

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030625
Welcome to Winston’s World
Time
16:16
The government’s Criminal Justice Bill plans to give police powers to take DNA samples from anybody who has been arrested. Not just those that have been charged. I’m not terribly happy about that. Just standing up for my rights on May Day could have been enough to get me arrested. Sure, the whole thing would be cleared up pretty sharpish (I would hope), but my life would still be on a database somewhere. Operated by the Chuckle Brothers, no doubt.

Are they seriously telling us that such a database would be immune to corruption or incompetence?

Just like with bloody GM food, it’s full speed ahead, and damn the consequences.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030625
It’s War! And Somebody’s Going To Pay!
Time
17:58
When put on the spot, Alastair Campbell admitted that Californian student Ibrahim al-Marashi was indeed owed an apology. Why? Well, his work was lifted from the Internet without credit or recompense, and then misused with a highly political agenda.

Are you paying attention, Mr Yeo?

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030625

Time
23:22
Y’see, this is why I don’t read discarded copies of The Sun any more. It just aggravates me:

‘Paras’ massacred by rabble.

Such a familiar term; ‘Paras.’

Right up there with ‘Our Boys.’

Perhaps the writing/editorial team of The Sun can present us with a complete rundown of their military service record.

This simple result is by no means definitive, but it strikes a chord with me.

Also, the use of ‘rabble’ in this headline is a perfect example of The Sun’s exploitation of the illiterate and the ignorant.

I’ve actually taken a survey commissioned by The Sun.

The first question asked if I read the articles, or just read the headlines.

For many people, the simple use of the word ‘rabble’ will be the end of the matter. No matter what they read (or have read to them) after.

Were they (allegedly) Saddam loyalists and (therefore) completely evil, or were they simply a shabby crowd with ideas above their station?

If the former, we can look forward to a decent hanging at last. If the latter; how dare they attack Our Boys?

I swear; what this country needs is a broadsheet with tits in it.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030626
Riding High on Blogdex
Time
09:37
The new Google Toolbar (beta) has a pop-up blocker and a ‘blog this’ feature.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030626
It’s War! And Somebody’s Telling Porkies!
Time
09:39
Alastair Campbell shifts focus to BBC ‘lies.’

There was a lot of talk after his questioning about what a good performance it was. ‘Performance’ is right. As you would expect, his responses were high on spin and low on substance.

When it came down to the nitty-gritty of it, the suggestion that a back-room cabal had made plans for war without consulting the Foreign Office or MPs, he went on and on and on and on and on about what a serious allegation that was.

Yes, it’s serious, but that doesn’t make it untrue, now does it

He then ran off a list of the accused who had denied it.

That also does not make the claim untrue.

Said Mr Campbell;

“I know scepticism is fine, but are we really so cynical that we think any prime minister is going to make prior decisions to send British forces into conflict and wouldn’t rather avoid doing that.”

If we are that cynical, Mr Campbell, then we have you to thank for it.

And it still doesn’t make the claim untrue.

So there.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030626

Time
09:42
How To Tell If Your Head’s About To Blow Up.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030626

Time
09:43
Front yard display irks neighbours. Is it a home, or is it a business? This zoning question threatens the safety and comfort of dozens of angels, dwarfs, frogs, dogs, flamingos, rabbits, turtles, religious figures, and plastic crocodiles.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030626

Time
09:46
The top 11 movies about animals attacking people. No.1 will surprise you not a lot.

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Date
20030626

Time
09:52
Princess Di: Mutant Superhero

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Date
20030626
Christianity Watch
Time
09:54
“Even if YOU don’t know what faith you are, Belief-O-Matic™ knows. Answer 20 questions about your concept of God, the afterlife, human nature, and more, and Belief-O-Matic™ will tell you what religion (if any) you practice…or ought to consider practicing.”

The disclaimer is even funnier. Go see – and take the test. I tried it, but for some reason my answers caused a major page error.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030626

Time
09:56
OK, that’s it for now. I want to leave room for anything that (*ahem*, nudge) may come along today.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030626
Tim Yeo: The Limited Offer
Time
11:18
About 2 hours to go. He’s cutting it fine.

I’m dead busy today, so don’t expect me to go completely 21st century on his ass from the moment the deadline passes at 1:24pm

I will, however, be taking suggestions for appropriate action at this time…

Oh, just thought I’d mention… Tim Yeo’s Conservatives.com profile has staged a bit of a comeback on ‘tim yeo’ searches, but the Tim Yeo weblog is now outperforming the Tim Yeo – Campaign Hijacker page. There have been no updates to the Tim Yeo weblog today, as I genuinely hope to be able to shut it down sometime this afternoon.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030626

Time
12:23
One hour. It don’t look good.

tic tic tic tic tic tic tic

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Date
20030626

Time
13:11
Whoa! A tidy little traffic spike over the last hour, with at least half a dozen individuals accessing the site via parliament.uk

Everyone’s watching and waiting, but I have the feeling we’re all about to be sorely disappointed…

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030626
Tim Yeo: The Limited Offer
Time
13:25
Moment of truth… downloading email…

Hey, I’ve selected for a special giveaway! I can also have a larger penis, maintain a harder, longer erection with said penis, and say goodbye to my debt problems.

I cannot, unfortunately, call it a day on the Tim Yeo issue. No reply. At all.

I’m really quite sad about that.

Even notorious spin-doctor Alastair Campbell has acknowledged that a person whose material has been lifted from the Internet and used for a political purpose deserves an apology. Why can’t Mr Yeo do the same?

OK, suggestions taken from this point on. How do we reach Tim Yeo? How do we convince him to do the gentlemanly thing? He obviously doesn’t care what the online community thinks of him, so some ‘real life’ action may be called for.

Thinking caps on. Emails to the usual address.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030626

Time
14:40
I really am quite depressed about this. As soon as I finish the work on my plate, I’m going to cruise by the B3ta board for some much-needed cheering up.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030627

Time
08:35
Every Star Wars Kid video ever made. Interesting to see the number of people it inspired, but it was the original that warmed our hearts. You may recognise the collection of animations. I’ve emailed and asked (nicely) for a credit link.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030627
Riding High on Blogdex
Time
08:38
Steer and queers now legal in Texas. The Supreme Court ruling is also expected to have an impact on other states with anti-sodomy laws.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030627

Time
08:46
These extracts from a 1970′s Scientology pamphlet are doing the rounds. Do make the effort to work through the lot. You wouldn’t want to miss highlights such as the peacekeeping efforts of the Volunteer Minister. Techniques such as Contact Assist and Locational Assist follow in situations that will chill you to the bone with their stark realism. See it all. At the very least, head forward to see the Volunteer Minister meet the ‘Chief of Police’ and solve the local crime problem with a cunning plan outlined on a single sheet of A4 paper.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030627

Time
08:50
See the mug shot of the man who tried to rob a pharmacy with his finger.

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Date
20030627

Time
08:53
A site dedicated to every single body part of Michael Jackson. She really, really likes his neck. You’ve probably also seen Eminem’s oh-so-clever stunt. It would be funnier if he weren’t just as disturbing as Jacko – and about 6 months too late. (Oooh, I am in a mood today…)

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030627
Telemarketers
Time
08:57
Phoneonthecob.com is proving popular, in that it mixes the joy of prank phone calls with truly deserving victims. They call him, y’see. And not all of them are allowed to hang up.

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Date
20030627

Time
08:59
How can you possibly say no to caffeinated beer that glows in the dark?

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030627
Anybody But George
Time
09:02
See George Bush hanging around in a classroom for five minutes after being told of WTC attack. The longer introduction (scroll down) is quite mean-spirited. I mean, maybe he just wanted to find out what made Spot run.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030627

Time
09:05
An estimated 40,000 people have journeyed to Milton Hospital to see the apparition of the Virgin Mary. One man who was interviewed said; “I don’t see anything except a dirty window.”

Burn him! Burrrrrrn him!

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030627

Time
09:12
Husband in automotive tryst with mistress accidentally activates mobile phone – which places a call through to his wife. She then went on to attack him with an axe, presumably because she places her faith in more primitive (yet reliable) forms of technology.

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Date
20030627
The Political Weblog Movement
Time
09:22
After years of walking past each other in the halls, Tom Watson and Richard Allan stopped to shake hands on Wednesday. Because of their interaction through weblogs. Makes me warm all over, that does.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030627
Friday Feedback
Time
09:36
Tim Yeo is obviously using the ‘la-la-la this isn’t happening’ technique to deal with this little issue. I’m not 100% sure he’s worth more Photoshop time (and I don’t want to bore you chaps), but work on the weblog will definitely continue. It can be used to do a post-mortem on every inch of newspaper coverage he gets. I’m also seriously considering digging through the Private Eye collection in the attic so we can give a home to (and present a search result for) a range of informative titbits.

Given that he wants to pretend that we don’t exist – or don’t matter – some form of ‘real life’ action may also be called for. All suggestions are appreciated. Emails to the usual address.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030627
The Political Weblog Movement
Time
11:46
Thanks go to Simon) for spotting this post on senatorial blogging. Perhaps Dennis Kucinich can be convinced to help bring blogs into the senate.gov framework.

Having them outside sets the ‘independent’ precedent that potentially robs us of real voices.

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Date
20030627

Time
19:50
A long day. A busy day.

BTW, thanks for the feedback. Keep it coming.

A few folks have asked why the last few days have depressed me so.

Well, it was a pretty generous offer. A realistic offer. And Tim Yeo still couldn’t see sense. I genuinely hate it when people force me to hurt them.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030628

Time
08:51
Connex loses its franchise. Good. Thameslink and South West Trains had better watch their arse. SWT (owned by Stagecoach Holdings Plc.) is still charging extortionate fares. They hide a lot of them with laughable ‘saver’ concepts and single fares that are about 10p less than the return. All for the pleasure of riding on dirty, cramped, 40-year old ‘slam door’ stock. And the general attitude of staff just has to be experienced to be believed. I won’t be sorry to see them go.

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Date
20030628

Time
16:58
Our youngest has just developed her first ‘see it and say it’ word. I heard about it this morning, but wasn’t aware of the true implications until I took her for a drive this afternoon:

Car!

Car!

Car! Car! Car!

Car!

Car! Car! Car! Car! Car! Car!


etc…

We survived the trip on the A-road into town, but her brain finally went into overload when we pulled into the car park.

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Date
20030629
It’s War! And Somebody’s Telling Porkies!
Time
09:08
Ministers knew war papers were forged, says diplomat.

You’ll pardon me for saying so, but that’s not very diplomatic…

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Date
20030629

Time
16:02
Wow, I got much less spam this weekend than I normally do. Are all these guys at a conference or something?

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Date
20030630
Telemarketers
Time
08:35
I was wondering only last week why you guys didn’t have this. Now you do:

National ‘Do Not Call’ Registry goes live.

Pop your home/mobile number on the list, and you’re clear for five years.



The list still allows you to receive calls ‘from political organisations, charities, telephone surveyors or companies with which you have an existing business relationship,’ but with the exception of companies being allowed to interpret a single purchase as an existing business relationship, the rules looks pretty stringent.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030630

Time
08:43
San Francisco motorist runs over pedestrian, laughs hysterically and then drives over victim again. Repeatedly.

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Date
20030630
Does What It Says On The Tin
Time
08:47
www.duckhuntinggirls.com

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Date
20030630
Christianity Watch
Time
08:52
The site productsforbaby.com only has one product, but it’s a cracker. The Genesis Teething Ring (made of unknown material and bearing the name of our Lord and Saviour, Jesus) reportedly ‘goes with two things that we are going to have more of every day, babies and Christians.’

Bless.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030630
It’s War! And Somebody’s Going To Pay!
Time
08:57
Ten Appalling Lies We Were Told About Iraq.

They missed one. Remember when we stopped believing their WMD bullshit and it suddenly became a fight for democracy and regime change? Well, they got the regime change bit (almost) right, but:

Occupation Forces Halt Elections Throughout Iraq.

More on the latest developments and their implications from Back To Iraq: Iraq Intifada Gearing Up.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030630
Riding High on Blogdex
Time
09:11
Everything you need to know about irony.

If you read this and are still having trouble online, then Irony Detector 1.5 might come in handy. You may not understand what it is, but dammit, you’ll know it’s there.

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Date
20030630

Time
09:31
Is Google God? (requires registration)

In a word, ‘no.’ We, as representatives of the increasingly connected global consciousness come pretty close, but we’re not God, either.

For those that need reminding, God is a large man in a white robe with a kindly face and long, flowing beard. With all lightning coming out of his fingers, like.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030630
Tim Yeo: Campaign Hijacker
Time
10:35
From the feedback this weekend, we get (mostly) the following question, presented here in hybrid form:

Question: How do you know that he’s read your email and/or is aware of the website?

Answer: I just know, OK?

It has also been suggested that, being a Tory, Tim Yeo may actually be enjoying this public whipping and looking forward to more of the same. We shall see.

As for suggestions for development of the campaign, one piece of feedback proves particularly interesting, and suggests that simply maintaining the status quo may be enough in the short term:

From Simon of wibbler.com:

Ooooh, your efforts reach all sorts of places. The Mail on Sunday this weekend:

“Tory Grandee Tim Yeo…. is the victim of a new smear. Fake email pictures of him in various states of undress have been circulating in the commons among MPs. One features him in bed, smiling and naked, holding a magazine. Urgh!”

Now, I do try to be fair. I did warn Mr Yeo that there had been increasing views from parliament.uk, but did he listen? No.

I’ve also warned him of the possible consequences of the high search results for the Tim Yeo Weblog and the Tim Yeo: Campaign Hijacker page (which have again pushed his Conservatives.com profile out of the picture). Is he worried about that? It would appear not.

Today, the following image is presented for your amusement. It is entitled:

“The Wages Of Sin”

A larger version is presented in the growing gallery.

More on this front soon.

If I can stomach it.

UPDATE – And, just to show you that I’m not the only one who has a problem with this

02-16 June, 2003

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Date
20030602

Time
08:52
Student suspended from last eight days of school after leaving obscene message hidden in school newspaper article. The first letter of each paragraph pretty much spelled it out for one of the faculty members – but the student only got rumbled when it was pointed out to teaching staff by one of his ‘mates’ (probably as a result of a bit of bragging).

Y’see, you have to keep this kind of thing under your hat; that’s why I’m not going to tell you where on the web you can see an example of this kind of thing from a certain copywriter who shall remain nameless.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030602

Time
09:02
Defendant marks his territory in San Diego Superior Court.

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Date
20030602

Time
09:05
Reality shows face casting crisis. It seems the number of people willing to appear on nothing but a promise is slowly but surely dwindling. Producers won’t even be able to fake it by using desperate actors, as this lot are worried about being typecast. Sadly, the numbers aren’t reduced enough to actually knock anything off the air. Yet.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030602
Yet Another Lame Quiz
Time
09:12
What movie quote are you?

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030602

Time
09:44
Looks like it’s all starting to come to a head.

PC Magazine has proclaimed blogging to be ‘the next big thing’ (i.e. the thing that will be ‘so over’ this time next year). FBI puppies gave this devastatingly attractive young student a damn good grilling over references to ‘hacking’ in her weblog.

Whoa. Hang on. Back up.

She claims to have been quoting from the movie ‘Hackers,’ but Googling for generic derivatives turned up nothing but this article and a bunch of junk. No reference to it here, either. I haven’t actually wasted time watching the movie – so let’s move along.

This, supposedly is the student’s weblog – but it looks very, very new to me.

Something smelly is going on with this one.

Now, where were we?

Ah, yes – blogging.

This Observer article responds to recent whinges about blog ‘pollution’…

“The moral is: if you want to score with Google, be on the web.”

Quite a familiar sentiment, I must say.

Finally, we come around to Andrew Orlanski’s latest piece on blogging. Either this is an outright troll, or Andrew’s cheese has well and truly slipped off its cracker.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030602
Christianity Watch
Time
09:48
Are you a Christian into Cyberdating? Then use identidate.com to ensure that your prospective partner is of good moral stock and not some crazy sicko.

Also, if you’re looking for folks out for a good time, then why not join The Church of the Lion of Judah? The Rapture is coming, and these people are ready. I’m still digging, but so far my favourite quote is:

“In order to fully understand any of what has happened and is to come, one must accept certain truths as fact.”

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030602
Flash Music Video
Time
10:17
Visits to JPEG Baby started to slow down around Friday, but interest has been renewed (and then some) after a link at Metafilter.

Here’s a little forum love that resulted. We also featured at the NSFW entensity.net, Adam Curry’s weblog and cracked the language barrier again with a link on this Russian site.

Total page views since launch: 31,976

(Oh, and while we’re slumming it in parts foreign, a fair amount of traffic came this way today and yesterday from this Brazilian review of The Star Wars Photoshopping Project. World domination is within my grasp.)

UPDATE – Yay! More Russian love coming in from vpcom.ru & absolutus.nm.ru – and now the mighty BBspot has deemed it linkworthy. A good day. Still, I’m yet to hear from a single Elvis impersonator….

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030602

Time
10:27
According to the Jail Rape Calculator, I’m worth 3 cartons of cigarettes and two porno mags – and it would take me a mere 12 days to become Bubba’s bitch.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030602
Operation Justification
Time
10:29
Blair claims to have ‘secret proof’ of WMDs. Meanwhile, George Bush claims that the two empty trailers they found were the proof. I’d be more inclined to believe them if they could keep their stories straight.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030602

Time
10:36
This time next week, I’ll be in Boston attending the ClickZ Weblog Business Strategies conference.

Sadly, this means that I will be unable to attend The 3rd Annual Nigerian Email Conference (link via TTR2).

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030603
Murdoch is a Bastard
Time
08:47
When Rupert Murdoch told a senate committee plan that he had no plans to take advantage of any relaxation in America media ownership laws they laughed in his face – but still the Republicans managed to muscle plans through.

No surprises there. It was Murdoch who sold the idea that Bush had (just) won the election, and it was Murdoch who helped to sell the idea that the war on Iraq was necessary and just.

This, I suppose, is his just reward.

Using similar muscle here in the UK, Murdoch has been using tabloids like The Sun to support the government on pretty much every issue that counts. Until he gets his way, of course. Then it’s business as usual.

Murdoch is not a man to be trusted. I even have a sneaking suspicion that he has a tooth or two in the back of his throat.

UPDATE – Q&A: US media changes and the UK

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030603

Time
08:51
What makes a weblog a weblog?

Simple answer: the nut behind the wheel.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030603

Time
08:53
Microsoft reluctantly, but clearly, calls it a day on the standalone version of Internet Explorer.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030603

Time
08:59
The Register describes it as (maybe) better than Google (even though, like most metas, it relies heavily on Google and other search engines). Company spokeswoman Megan Hamilton says that “we want to become the Hotmail of search,” which certainly sounds promising to me.

It’s Turbo10. Go and have a play if you like, but watch out for the ugly, ugly interface.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030603

Time
09:05
Japanese photographer sentenced to 18 months after cluster bomb kills airport security guard in Jordan. The bomb was a souvenir taken from Iraq. Presumably they were all out of art treasures.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030603

Time
09:08
Why merely look up her skirt when you can see the whole works? Enjoy The Visible Barbie Project. I did.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030603

Time
09:09
Find the shortest path between any two weblogs. Your first mission is to find viable links between this weblog and an intelligent one.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030603

Time
09:13
Journalist spends entire time in Iraq associating with the Baghdad blogger, but fails to realise it until he gets home. Instead of interviewing the guy, the journalist sent him out for pizza.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030603
Pets
Time
09:29
Woman claims her dog is worth $50K, because God told her so.

Cats are too smart for Meow TV.

Girl finds two-headed turtle.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030603

Time
09:31
Company sells fake six-figure ATM receipts to saddos trying to impress dates.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030603
Flash Music Video
Time
09:34
More Russian link-love for JPEG Baby. Total page views since launch: 37,228

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030603

Time
09:37
The latest story from Conspiracy Planet:

“Sources from the Department of Defense report that the covert-ops team sent to Iraq to plant the Weapons of Mass Destruction in order to justify the US War on Iraq have been killed by friendly fire – unfortunately before they could tell anyone where they hid the cache of WMD’s.”

Heh. I like this one. It has an entertaining double-spin to it.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030603
Photoshopping
Time
09:40
The latest addition to The Star Wars Photoshopping Project sees Hislop and Merton teaming up to save the day.

I was going to include the ghost of Angus Deayton, but couldn’t be arsed…

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030603

Time
16:32
I think perhaps now is as good a time as any to remind ourselves of the basic principles of fair use.

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Date
20030603
Photoshopping
Time
16:34
Could this incredible image really mark the end of the The Star Wars Photoshopping Project?

Many would hope so, but I’m not making any promises.

Let’s just say that this one feels closer to that all-important finish line than anything else that has gone before it.

I mean, really, how could I possibly top this version?

Big’un is being shown off over at B3ta.

Enjoy.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030603

Time
18:07
Help bring London out of the 19th century and sign the petition for a post-midnight service on the tube.

At least at weekends.

Ignore any arguments about the need for overnight maintenance. It’s bullshit. We all know that maintenance teams spend most of their time dodging work or catching up on sleep. I can’t see three less available hours each night (or two nights a week) messing up the current demand for maintenance if the workers are actually working. Right now this time is wasted by those with an overwhelming desire to nap or sit on one’s arse and stare into space. That’s what office jobs are for, boyo.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030603

Time
20:17
Heh. Minerva has declared that back-to-iraq.com is a cultural artifact and worth preservation and display as part of their new collection of sites relating to the war in Iraq.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030604

Time
08:08
Take your pick between domino art and toilet roll art.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030604

Time
08:10
Bank robbers captured when getaway car fails to start. Obviously these bright sparks have never been to the movies before, or they would know that you’re supposed to leave the engine running. (Unless of course you’re operating in Sgt. Harry Callahan’s district, where this kind of forward-thinking behaviour merely invites trouble.)

The passenger jumped out and tried to steal a car, before breaking into a house and trying to steal some car keys – and then running off desperately trying to flag down a lift on the nearby Interstate.

The driver merely sat there and went “C’mon! C’mon! C’monnnn!” until the police finally, mercifully, answered his call.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030604

Time
08:19
We had monkeys the other week. Today: Buy a penguin from the Penguin Warehouse!

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Date
20030604

Time
08:25
Oof! Thwack! Kapow! Kersplotch!

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030604
Christianity Watch
Time
08:27
Great. Just what we need. Another gimmick bible. That’ll make a good story. That’ll fill a few inches.

Fans of the The Mosquito Coast; feel free to gnaw your own arm off any time now.

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Date
20030604

Time
08:39
See some pictures of extreme weather at weatherpix.com (link lifted from The Ultimate Insult).

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Date
20030604

Time
08:42
Velvet-Strike allows you to submit your own counter-military graffiti and images for inclusion in the network shooter terrorism game Counter-Strike. Time to dig through the Bush/Blair porn collection…

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030604
It’s War! And Somebody’s Going To Get Laid!
Time
08:45
Nevada brothel offers free sex to troops returning from the war in Iraq.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030604

Time
08:47
Property dispute turns ugly when owner responds to development/upkeep protests with lime-green signs saying “Keep the fuck out!” and “You started this shit!”

Now, there’s just no call for that. I mean, lime green? I don’t blame the council for getting involved. In fact, someone should call the police.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030604

Time
08:53
Clay Shirky: The FCC, Weblogs, and Inequality

He misses one important point…

Anybody can start a weblog, but to start/buy a major traditional outlet, such as a newspaper or television station, you need some serious cash. To get your hands on this amount of cash, you usually need to be right bastard. Bastards need regulation.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030604

Time
09:11
“How crazy would I have to make my signature before someone would actually notice?”

I’ve been tempted to do this myself. Maybe 1 in 10 shopkeepers check my signature. Even fewer give it more than a cursory glance.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030604

Time
09:14
CIA report claims that Al Qaeda terrorists are set to use chemical, biological and nuclear weapons.

Hmmm. Is it as reliable as this CIA intelligence?

The claim could very well be true, but it stinks so highly of Bush’s perpetual war that I’m inclined not to trust it.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030604

Time
09:21
BBQ brawl culminates in the inevitable skewering.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030604
Flash Music Video
Time
11:26
JPEG Baby continues to break the language barrier.

Italians, Estonians and Argentinians have all been bopping along happily. We even reached this international community of Bakunians.

Folks in Instanbul have also been having a giggle, and it was probably the appearance at this Greek portal that prompted this morning’s request for a copy of the MP3 from a radio station in Veria .

Airtime in Greece. That entertains me beyond my capacity to make… the words… um, do stuff.

More on the local front, the link has almost travelled full circle by reaching this Irish forum, where some poor chap is actually wondering what the Wogan connection is.

The show has also started to feature on more and more adult-themed sites recently. I won’t link to all of these, as my long-suffering mother reads this weblog. I feel I must, however, point out the chap who left a link to this touching ode as part of his gushing comments in a porn queen’s guestbook.

‘I love those pictures of you doing your laundry in lingerie so much that I masturbate over them while listening to this song’… what a touching sentiment. I can’t help but wonder, though, exactly what this woman wears when washing her lingerie.

Total page views since launch: 40,710

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030604
The Political Weblog Movement
Time
14:49
OK, we’re ready to roll:

Write To Your Senator Today (So You Can Leave Comments On Their Weblog Tomorrow)

Right now I’m busy emailing a few folks what is smarter than me to see what they think of the campaign and if they want to get involved.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030604

Time
16:06
Greenpeace occupies new Home Office HQ.

Heh. Investigators discovered that the contractors building the place were using logged plywood from Indonesia’s last remaining rainforests, so they went in at 6am this morning and declared it to be an environmental crime scene.

The plywood is being used for the hoardings and to hold wet concrete in place. After which it will no doubt be thrown away – or used to board up the local McDonalds next May Day.

Asked in parliament about the protest, Tony Blair said: “It may be an issue to be brought up with the contractors rather than the government.”

More:

Clock ticking for Indonesian rainforest

Lumber and Paper Giants to Announce Ban of Indonesian Wood and Pulp

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030604
The Political Weblog Movement
Time
16:21
This blogger in India wrote to his local representative, and asked him to start a weblog.

This is really spooky. He did yesterday what I only started suggesting today – right down to repeating the letter on his blog. Looks like the time is now.

(Link lifted from Tom Watson.)

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030604

Time
17:15
In keeping with new FCC guidelines, this blog has now been sold to Fanapco. All opinions from this point on will carefully reflect those of the Fanapco corporation.

All hail Fanapco, and their mighty regime!

(Yours sincerely, Little Girl…)

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030605

Time
09:13
Have fun dragging a skeleton around. And shooting it. Against a naff flaming background.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030605

Time
09:14
Man who drove around blowing his horn so everyone would see him masturbate blames neglectful wife and mother. The man’s name, BTW, is one letter away from perfection.

Also on the roads: the 15-year-old stripper whose Mum drives her to work.

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Date
20030605

Time
09:22
Today we learn from ambrosian.org that the only true path to God is staying a virgin. Forever.

Via the guestbook, I also found Celidate.org – a dating service for celibates (transitional or otherwise). ‘Otherwise’ would include (I’m guessing) the medically celibate, but these people have their own network.

BTW, while we’re on the subject of abstinence, can anyone tell me when the term ‘safe sex’ was casually replaced with ‘safer sex’…?

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030605

Time
09:35
For sale: unopened jar containing one (1) captured poltergeist.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030605
It’s War! And Somebody’s Going To Pay!
Time
09:37
Wolfowitz: Iraq war was about oil.

UPDATE – This story has since been withdrawn by The Guardian due to a slight (ahem) contextual problem. Read all about it here.

I like this article (requires subscription) that outlines not one, but four reasons why we had to go to war. No. 1 being that we had to slap someone around after 11/9 (please note the correct date formatting), not only for purposes of morale, but also to show the world who’s in charge.

Meanwhile, Tony Blair has agreed to an inquiry into alleged distortion of intelligence. The very idea of such an investigation (oh, I say…) was dismissed as ludicrous just over a month ago, but since then they’ve obviously got their sacrificial ducks in a row. Someone, somewhere down the line, is in for it. They just don’t know it yet. Tony, of course, will be astounded that someone in such a trusted position would deceive him and/or his staff over a matter of such importance.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030605

Time
09:55
Woman found bound to a picnic table with leather straps and being spanked with a boat oar claims incident has been blown out of proportion.

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Date
20030605

Time
09:58
This image was reportedly part of a BBC slide show before being quietly, but no too quickly, removed from the site. It spent most of yesterday doing the rounds, but has been repeated here for folks who don’t get out much. And because it still makes me laugh.

BTW, I first saw this at groovymother.com, where I also found this great t-shirt project at threadless.com where you can submit a t-shirt design via their online community. Then everybody votes, and at the end of the month the winning designs are available for sale. Genius, no?

Me, I’m still waiting for the return of Hypercolour.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030605

Time
10:08
Man steals bus. Follows route. Collects fares.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030605
Christianity Watch
Time
10:10
Christian group seeks temporary rollback of flight restrictions over Disneyland. It’s been a no-fly zone since March due to terrorism fears, but they want a temporary relaxation of the rules. Not much, just enough for them to fly a banner over Gay Day so their organisation can let the sexually misguided heathens know that, through Christ, they can be saved.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030605

Time
10:24
Barry Manilow walks into wall, breaks nose.

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Date
20030605

Time
10:25
What is it with politicians and blowjobs this week? I just got a copy of this from my sister. The chap in the background is Peter ‘Lose’ Costello. The chap doing favours in the foreground is gnome-like ruler-for-life of the lesser colonies, John Howard. Looks like he’s up to his old tricks again.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030605

Time
10:40
Are Arabs warming to the U.S.? Survey says….

This is a little unfair. And potentially misleading. I suspect this negative result is mainly to do with Arabs being accosted in the street by loud people with clipboards asking: “Do you love America?”

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Date
20030605

Time
10:45
Copywriters mourn the loss of valuable words such as Free, Opportunity, Exciting and Credit. Spam gets the blame.

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Date
20030605

Time
10:48
Teens teach FBI agents cyberspeak so they can pose as underage girlies and nab a few pervs. Also covered are important subjects such as fashion and the hipness of Justin Timberlake.

“They, like, don’t know anything,” said Mary, 14, giggling.

I swear that last bit is really in the article. Go look. Or find out how you should really talk to teens. I’d normally add ‘Not!’ here, but that’s, like, sooooo 90′s.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030605

Time
10:57
A ‘Worst-Case Scenario’ book is now available for those at risk in savage work environments. Is there a chapter on knife wounds to the back?

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030605
The Political Weblog Movement
Time
13:24
Some linkage supporting the campaign to get senators online with weblogs has come in from Martin, Scott, Steve and, of course, Tom – but so far Lance has had the most to say about the whole thing.

BTW, I’m tuned into BBC Radio 2 right now, as Tom is about to be interviewed on air about his weblog. Huzzah!

UPDATE – The interview resulted from Jeremy Vine’s attempt to find Britain’s most honest politician. Tom was nominated because of his weblog. If you’ve read Tom’s blog and think that he’s an exceptionally trustworthy chap (or at the very least that the weblog format is helping him to resist dark forces), then I urge you to contact the show and contribute/vote.

UPDATE 2 – A partial transcript of the inteview and some thoughts from me:

Tom Watson: Part of the reason to have an online journal, when you’re being interviewed… you only get two minutes to give an answer, but if you have an online journal you can show all the nuances and where you’re sharing policy dilemmas with people because quite often in politics, there’s not an absolute answer. There’s not just a ‘yes’ or a ‘no,’ there’s a ‘this is probably the best route to take,’ and it’s very difficult to get that across.

Jeremy Vine: But don’t politicians have to pretend there’s a straightforward ‘yes’ or a ‘no’?

Tom Watson: Well, some do, but I think those days are gone. I think people just want you to be straight with them about where you’re sharing the difficulties of government, and of course you can always get attacked for weakness there, but… if you’re straight about what might go right and what might go wrong, people pretty much take you on trust.

And of course, with the weblog format, we can track Tom’s position on any given subject with a few clicks and (shock!) make up our own minds instead of relying on the interpretations of journalists and editors. We can also (horror!) view other people’s comments on the matter and make a comment ourselves. On our own weblog or on his.

In short, Tom is no longer impossibly distant and reliant on one-way communications channels (often controlled by others with a distinct political agenda). He gets to communicate with us. En masse and directly. We get to see what’s going on and what shapes his decisions. We even get to see what other people think about that, be it positive or negative. Presented in the correct format and context, this is powerful stuff.

You and I have developed certain expectations about communication after exposure to the Internet. Sooner or later, all politicians will have live up to these expectations just to survive.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030605

Time
14:48
The 8 Mile online MC championship has some very good – and very bad – entries. I’m sure you can guess which ones I’m enjoying the most…

Basically you just line up someone to challenge and call your entry in by phone. Rappin’ on the cordless, baby. That’s so hardcore.

My favourite rap so far is short but sweet:

Jamma.

What a dilemma.

You go to the gym to get, um, slimmer.

Or, erm, thinner.

Weird, innit?

Because, otherwise, you’ve got another dilemma…

Jamma.

Innit?

I’m not to sure why I’m rapping, or who I’m rapping to.

So that’s about my crew.

But why don’t you just f**k off?

Yeah, that’s right, you…


(contestant hangs up, leaving backing track to continue all on its lonesome)

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030605

Time
17:03
Oh dear. Turbo10.com (‘a contender for the Google crown,’ according to The Register) has melted. It still delivers an entry page if you treat it gently, but errors abound with the simplest of searches.

I may go back and try to evaluate it again later. Or I may not.

OK, the follow-up article by Andrew Orlowski claiming that it’s the result of sabotage by bloggers goes live 5, 4, 3…

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030605

Time
18:02
Planning on a quiet night in? Order one of these video blockbusters from the U.S. Secret Service and get a free Dominos Pizza voucher. Maybe.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030606

Time
08:46
Seems everyone is trying to get a piece of ‘ghost in a jar’ action. A lot of tossers are just using the keywords on unrelated goods, but today’s search does turn up some useful items, such as this Ghost in a Jar Vacation Home (i.e. an empty jar). The search has appeared at Fark (see related thread), and auctions have started turning up for jars in ghosts, homeless ghosts looking for a jar and the inevitable Ghost in a Jar-Jar. I’m still waiting for ‘goatse in a jar.’

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030606

Time
09:12
Teenager wins lying contest; plans to go into politics. Well, that’s a side-splitter if ever I heard one.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030606
Riding High on Blogdex
Time
09:16
Executive Editor of The New York Times and Top Deputy Step Down. That’s actually at the NYT site, so if you haven’t registered, you won’t be able to read it. Sorry. Why not read about it on CNN instead?

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030606

Time
09:19
19-year-old porn star runs for mayor. Regrets, I’ve had a few…

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030606

Time
09:22
Is Lying About The Reason For War An Impeachable Offense?

The discussion thread relating to this legal opinion piece (see link at bottom of page) includes the following comment of great wonder and beauty:

“Being a strong leader is only a good thing when that leader takes the nation in the correct direction and not over a cliff.”

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030606

Time
09:31
Gag-order on journalists at tech-conference bypassed by bloggers. Ah, we’re not journalists, you see. No, don’t start up with that – you can’t have it both ways.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030606

Time
09:35
Convicted heroin dealer alllowed to claim massive tax deduction on money lost in drug deal.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030606

Time
09:37
OAPS fail to give good reason for sex act in fast food restaurant. Insert obvious joke here.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030606
Flash Games
Time
09:39
Here’s a cool football game to brighten your Friday. You’re welcome.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030606

Time
09:42
It was via FunJunkie that I discovered the wonderfully diverting Buzzometer, a special web tool that measures buzzword density on any site you choose to point it to. On yesterday’s bloggage I scored a respectable 161. Today, a whopping 304.

The coolest thing is that it generates Buzzometer reporting links for every hyperlink that turns up on a page it has scanned. This means that you can just follow your nose and surf as normal, but get that all-important buzzword data every step of the way.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030606
Yet Another Lame Quiz
Time
09:53
Finally, a personality quiz that dares to tell the truth.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030606
Photoshopping
Time
09:54
To all those hoping and praying for an end to The Star Wars Photoshopping Project

…I would like to apologise for getting your hopes up.

“No, *no*, Luke I Am…”

Big’un was released last night on B3ta.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030606
Ghost In A Jar
Time
14:17
What can I say? I’m a sucker for a bandwagon. For sale: Ghost of Weapons of Mass Destruction in a Jar

Contains one (1) figment of the imagination and some recycled material. (Auction has now been removed – see below.)

UPDATE – Ahahahahahaha! I missed this one: Ghost in a Jar – movie rights. Also doing well is the “Free The Ghost In A Jar” Bumper Sticker. It’s too early for a plethora of related search results in Google (look tomorrow), but Usenet is buzzing with spectators.

There are already a bunch of domain name speculators selling related domains. You should also keep an eye out for keyword/query speculators producing optimised ‘ghost in a jar’ pages (that have nothing to do with ghosts in jars, but will offer exciting alternative opportunities). Ditto for Adwords and the like. Finally, your first attention-getting ‘Ghost In A Jar’ spam header should arrive sometime before Sunday afternoon. You have been warned.

It’s here, folks. The ‘All Your Base’ of 2003. We can go home now.

UPDATE 2 – Ebay obviously have difficulty recognising a valid work of art. I’ve replied to the following email with a very strong complaint.

—– Original Message —–

From:

Sent: Saturday, June 07, 2003 4:14 AM

Subject: PI NOTICE: eBay Auction Ended by Customer Support – Joke Auctions

–> 2933435358 Ghost of Weapons of Mass Destruction in a Jar has been ended.

–> All fees associated with this auction have been credited to your account.

–> The item you have listed does not appear to be consistent with eBay guidelines.

–> eBay does not allow listings that are intended as jokes or which feature items,

–> such as “Ghosts in Jars.”

–> Should you wish to relist your item, please remove any references to “Ghosts in

–> Jars.”

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030606

Time
15:55
Whatever you do, do not push this button.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030606

Time
15:56
OK, that’s pretty much it from me for a few days. I’m flying off to Boston on Sunday for the ClickZ Weblog Business Strategies 2003 Conference & Expo and I won’t get back here until Wednesday.

Bloggage may be light as a result, but I’ll try to stay in touch.

This is the first time I’ve been on a plane since you-know-when. Nothing to do with fear, mind, I’m just not as windswept and interesting as some of you.

Still, a pilot gave me some good advice about air travel safety a long time ago, and I do plan on following it:

Always – always – sit somewhere at the back. There has never been a recorded instance of a plane reversing into a mountain.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030608
Boston
Time
18:45
Hey, I’m here. I landed. In one piece, too. You can all relax now.

I enjoyed a lovely chicken dinner on the plane. The guy sitting in front of me got to wear his.

I also read in someone’s copy of the Sunday Express (note: Richard Desmond is a pornographer) that a production company is floating the idea of a political edition/version of Big Brother – and that Tom was considering taking part.

Honestly, I can’t leave you people alone for a second…

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030609

Time
10:04
It’s 5am in the morning here. I’m seriously jetlagged and – as a keyboard basher of some years – the need to be vewy, vewy quiet is slowing me down some. Hang in there.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030609
The Political Weblog Movement
Time
10:32
Off to the first day of the weblog conference in a few hours. I’m certainly looking forward to meeting Doc Searls.

BTW, the Doc blogged the following yesterday:

“Let’s face it: Blogs today are still unnecessary and insufficient for electing a damn soul. At best they’ll become necessary but still insufficient.

“Winning in elections, like winning in markets, requires something more than conversation, more than buzz. It requires involvement. Relationship. Connecting and reconnecting. Performing, and not just in the box office sense of that word.”

I’d agree wholeheartedly that blogs are likely to be misinterpreted by many politicians as a fundraising wonder and perhaps even a delivery system for the same old happy-slappy crap. Maybe they’ll even find a willing audience. Howard Dean has.

However, for those that do get it, blogs are going to act as one hell of a catalyst, as they allow a politician to (finally) realistically deliver the dynamite combination of access and involvement.

I really think that a significant shift is possible – and I’m inclined to think that this will happen faster in the political arena than it will in the commercial (not that the two are entirely separate these days). The invention of moveable type presented many opportunities to entrepreneurs of the day, but those who used it to press for social change had the earliest and most widespread successes.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030609

Time
10:34
“Jonah did not know it was unusual for a ten-year-old boy to have an eight-inch penis…”

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030609
Bad Monkeys
Time
10:37
1. Mother watches helplessly as baboon snatches her child and eats his brain.

2. Monkeypox hits Midwest America.

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Date
20030609
It’s War! And Somebody’s Going To Pay!
Time
11:06
Mark Steyn suggests in this Torygraph opinion piece that:

“the WMD song and dance is irrelevant, both de facto and de jure.. And as politics, two months after victory, it’s pathetically immature.”

Well, I know you are Mark, but what am I?

What a load of utter codswollop.

The action was illegal. Saddam is gone (well, missing at least) but the precedent set and the damage done to international relations by the Vigilante Justice League is going to have far more serious consequences than chemical/biological weapons that may or may not have existed and a few rusty missles that went 20 miles further than they should have.

The war itself, and the way in which it was pushed forward, requires some serious focus. Not least because it may just show people how often – and how effectively – we are lied to by those we trust with our lives.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030609

Time
11:55
Yesterday myself, Rod from GroovyMother and Scott from The Ultimate Insult all sat around the one table and enjoyed some facetime.

I regret to announce that we failed to set the world to rights (on this occasion at least) due to the overwhelming distraction of the recent smoking ban.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030610

Time
04:27
Xxxx me, what a day.

What to say, and what not to say…

One of the best moments for me today was when Xxxx hesitated quiteshortlybutstillnoticeably before announcing that Xxxx was introducing a xxxx xxxx. It made everything very clear to me.

Tomorrow, I’ll have the opportunity to speak on issues involving the use of weblogs in large IT organisations. One issue proposed for discussion is choosing the right model of moderation/management.

In the case of Chris Chambers, they chose the right man. Beyond being an NBB (‘Natural Born Blogger’- look it up sometime soon), Chris was an individual with the intuition to know instinctively and immediately what – and what wasn’t – right for publication. He was the right man to do the job all on his lonesome, and management knew it.

This meant that he could get on with his job without the kind of interference from management/marketing/PR that might otherwise rob him of the natural voice that made what he did so effective.

As Xxxx proved when Xxxxxx xxxxx the xxxx: ‘control’ is visible. And nobody likes it.

You only have to see the strings once to never look at a puppet show the same way again.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030610
Cheesecake?
Time
04:41
Sorry, I’m more into beefcake

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030610

Time
11:59
It is a bloody glorious morning here in Boston. I took a few minutes to explore the Christian Wrestling Federation (click the ‘Meet Jesus’ link for more joy), but life is too short to go any further.

(Note for new readers: when bloggage fails, see the archives or ‘stuff’.)

Right now I’m going to take time out to appreciate the wonderful water pressure folks enjoy in this part of town, then get down to the conference.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030610

Time
14:52
Jason Shellen of Blogger has just stated ‘for the record and once & for all’ that Google is not (repeat NOT) removing blogs from their database. In fact, Google is quite keen on the recency and relevance of the information they provide.

Told you so. Nyer, etc.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030611
Tony Blair’s Email
Time
11:30
I arrived at Heathrow this morning, and was in a pretty good mood until I read in the Guardian that Shadow Secretary of State for Trade & Industry Tim Yeo had ‘uncovered’ Tony Blair’s failure to connect to the world via email.

I get testy at the best of times when someone rips me off, but there are a number of added factors that make me almost ropeable about this:

1. It’s a pretty cheap copy (he set up the email address rthontonyblairmp@hotmail.com).

3. Unlike Sue Doughty and Tom Watson, who have actually taken action with parliamentary questions on the matter, Tim has obviously set up this action as a cheap stunt to gain a few column inches.

3. It’s all very well and good to criticise Tony Blair for his e-failures, but Tim Yeo’s web presence appears to be limited to this page at e-politics and this page at the Conservatives website.

Hello Mr Pot? There’s a call for you on line two from Mr Kettle. Also, this clue just arrived by mail. What would you like me to do with it?

I try to stick by the rule of never emailing when angry, so Tim won’t be hearing from me today… but I do intend to point out to him that if he really wants to embrace new technology, then he should get off his arse and start a weblog.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030611
Riding High on Blogdex
Time
12:01
Heh. A day after talking with David Winer about a certain crappy parody of his site, this tops the chart at Blogdex.

I’ll be writing about the conference (the fun stuff and the serious stuff) sometime soon, but right now my body needs to sleep.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030611
Tony Blair’s Email
Time
19:07
Now the BBC has picked up the scrag end of this story (thanks to Al Storer for the heads-up). However, to their credit, they’ve not mentioned the lame Hotmail stunt.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030612

Time
10:47
My body clock is still adjusting and my brain is overflowing. I’ll try to spill a few things out here, just to equalise the pressure so I can get on with my day:

Trip Notes

1. Here’s a picture of the poor guy in front of me who wore dinner down his back. This hot chicken dish with a very messy tomato sauce could just have easily ended up on my lap.

2. Never travel by plane with even the slightest sinus condition unless it’s well-medicated, or the descent from 30,000ft will causes stabbing needle-like pains to repeatedly punch through your forehead and eyeballs and leave a residual headache that can last for up to 2 hours.

3. The I-94W Nonimmigrant Visa Waiver Arrival Form asked quite a few questions on the back, but this was the one that tickled/troubled me the most:

“D. Have you ever been or are you now involved in espionage or sabotage; or in terrorist activities; or genocide; or between 1933 and 1945 were you involved, in any way, in persecution associated with Nazi Germany or its allies?

4. Scott was kind enough to put me up (and put up with me) for the duration. He is a gent of the highest order and I really enjoyed spending time with him and his kin.

5. I also met up with Rod from groovymother.com (who, you may note, found my comments on the I-94W form we shared in a bar blogworthy) and Steve from Off On A Tangent, who was my guest at the conference. Steve was kind enough to furnish me with a recording of the segment of his radio show where JPEG Baby got an airing.

Conference Notes

1. The weblog conference was big on evangelism in the first day, but moved more onto some serious discussion of business applications in day two. Politics also got a late look-in.

2. Many, many folks blogged their comments and reactions live, but David Weinberger has by far the most comprehensive blow-by-blow of proceedings.

3. BTW, my rather scuffed copy of The Cluetrain Manifesto has now been personally signed by David, who has a doctorate, and Doc, who does not.

4. The biggest struggle at the conference was finding precedent to reference. Adoption of this no-brainer is painfully slow across the globe. It’s nice to know that I’m not alone on this front. When I get a chance, I’m thinking of writing an article on the benefits of early adoption. There’s a honeymoon period going on right now that makes the proposal of going live with a weblog much more attractive – but it’s not going to last.



5. Those of you who have met me more than once in the past will probably be aware that I change my business card design (based on photoshopping activity) on a regular basis. The current design looks to be a ‘keeper’ for now. It turned a few heads and raised more than a few laughs. I even got a nice email from Christopher Lydon who thought it was a real hoot. Besides featuring one of the most viral images I’ve created in the last 12 months, this design is also in keeping with the current political push here at Bloggerheads. And it’s got red-hot nipple action.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030612
Flash Music Video
Time
11:03
JPEG Baby linkage looks to be tailing off, but the song has today reached an audience in Lithuania, which is pretty cool. The American market remains largely uncracked.

Total page views to date: 50,448

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030612
Tony Blair’s Email
Time
11:34
And what happens when I finally calm down enough to draft an email to Tim Yeo?

1. The Register (who really have been slipping of late) pander to this stuntmaster without even mentioning the core campaign or – in what should be an obvious move for such mischief makers – that an email-to-facsimile address exists.

2. But what really got on my tits, ladies and gentlemen, was this repeat of the story on the Conservatives website that closes with the smug:

“By contrast, Conservative leader Iain Duncan Smith is fully contactable by email and has a dedicated correspondence team to help him keep in touch with party members and the public.”

I got in touch with the Conservative party last year in search of a little backing – well before the whole thing descended into a pornfest – but was informed that they didn’t want to get involved because Iain Duncan Smith has a 0% response rating to emails and faxes, and they were afraid that Labour would bounce straight back with this.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030612
It’s War! And Somebody’s Going To Pay!
Time
13:01
US prints Saddam banknotes. Thanks to Mark for pointing this one out. Irony is our greatest weapon.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030612
Tony Blair’s Email
Time
13:31
Thanks to Al Storer (again) I’ve found out that The Guardian has grabbed the wrong end of the stick – again. Sure, it’s a mildly amusing angle, but as I made clear in these published specifications Tony does not require an email address; he requires an email facility.

My request to other journalists and politicians who may latch onto this is simple:

If you’re not willing to put forward realistic proposals or actually make anything happen, then please stay the fuck out of it.

UPDATE – Also stay out of it if you’re a bloody hypocrite. The article linked above – penned by one Blake Morrison – closes by with the following:

“All suggestions gratefully received. No postcards, though – only email.”

And which email address should I send my suggestions to, Blake? There’s none listed in the print or online version of the article.

UPDATE 2 – I neglected to mention (thanks, Molina) that journalists at The Guardian are normally contactable by firstname.lastname@guardian.etc (or, in some cases, first initial and last name) but I tried both b.morrison@guardian.co.uk and blake.morrison@guardian.co.uk ahead of making this post and both bounced. And before anybody emails, I’ve already been in touch with the Blake Morrison who writes for USA Today and they’re not the same person. So don’t go bugging him. You may, however, choose to take the logical step of writing to the Guardian’s editor, or the features desk at G2 (where the article appeared) via g2 AT guardian DOT co DOT uk – which is what I’ll be doing in 5, 4, 3, 2…

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030612
A Blog Is Born
Time
14:22
Less than an hour ago, Al Storer and I were exchanging emails about Tony Blair and weblogs in general. He’d been thinking about putting up a weblog for ages, but was worried that, as he was off for a 3-month holiday soon, now may not have been the best time.

I emailed him back and told him to do it anyway. Now. You don’t have to post every day to run a weblog and holidays are fine (at least by my standards). He said he’d think about it. 35 minutes later he emailed me the URL of his brand new weblog.

This makes me very happy. Right now I’m off to insert proper link credits into the relevant Blair posts. Because I can.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030612
Tony Blair’s Email: Letters Special
Time
16:21
This comment following Tom’s post on this subject is simply brilliant. I am in Dr Funk’s debt, and currently kicking myself for not thinking of this yesterday…

—– Original Message —–

From: Tim Ireland

To: abuse@hotmail.com

Sent: Thursday, June 12, 2003 4:20 PM

Subject: Fake Tony Blair Address

Dear Sirs,

The following articles clearly show that the account rthontonyblairmp@hotmail.com has been set up in violation of your terms of service, in that it has been used to ‘create a false identity for the purpose of misleading others.’

http://politics.guardian.co.uk/labour/story/0,9061,974811,00.html

http://www.conservatives.com/news/article.cfm?obj_id=63596

http://www.theregister.co.uk/content/6/31142.html

Wide publication of this address also threatens to overburden or impair the associated network.

I am requesting that the account be deactivated immediately and that notification be sent to the service provider via webmaster@parliament.uk

Regards,

Tim Ireland

http://www.bloggerheads.com/

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Date
20030612
Atticus Finch is a Nigger-Lover
Time
18:49
Gregory Peck has just passed way at age 87.

I saw The Omen on television the night before To Kill a Mockingbird was shown at school, so this had me expecting a number of things from young Scout that Just. Didn’t. Happen.

It kind of ruined the film for me on the day, but a re-read of the book and a rental on VHS had me well sorted a decade later.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030612

Time
22:03
I still have to poke around a bit more and trial a few bits and bobs over time (plus wait for a few others by the look of things), but Technorati looks to be the most promising blog tracking tool in a dog’s age.

It’s dynamite stuff. I can’t believe I had to go to Boston to find out about it! Tomorrow I’ll be playing with the new keyword search.

If it continues to impress at this level, it’ll be on my nav-bar within a week.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030613

Time
08:27
How good is Technorati? Well, Al Storer went live with a new weblog yesterday and Technorati had it indexed within 12 hours. Later today, I’m going to have a play with the new keyword search.

BTW, it was via Al’s new blog that I discovered the wonderful Voter Apathy Party. How do you combat voter apathy? Well, talking to us like we’re human beings would be a good start.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030613

Time
08:37
Qwest fired an entire telemarketing firm after a representative left a ‘threatening, expletive-laden message’ on the voice-mail of a call recipient who dared to hang up on him.

Been there. Done that.

Mine even took the number home so his father could shout at me some more.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030613
Flash Games
Time
08:43
Play Wild West (Pepsi) Pinball (link via flabber.nl).

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030613

Time
08:48
U.S. Patent # 6,485,773: Semen taste-enhancement dietary supplement.

Not the first product of its kind, and pretty dull to boot. Now, a dietary supplement that tasted of semen – that I could see a market for. You could call them Protein Slurpees.

Seeing as I’ve already made you spill your tea, here’s some advice on shaving your pubic hair. This site not only has a cool hairy puppet as a mascot, it prides itself on featuring ‘different methods of hair removal with a special concentration on areas that others don’t like to talk about.’

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030613
Tony Blair’s Email
Time
09:00
I suppressed my rage just long enough to send a short email to Tim Yeo yesterday (see Wednesday and Thursday in the archives if you missed the fun). He has yet to get back to me.

Perhaps someone should get in touch with the man and warn him that when I get ignored Mr Bigglesworth gets angry…

BTW, like most people, I have tracking that lets me know who’s watching. Yesterday, page views of Bloggerheads from parliament.uk increased tenfold. Hello everybody. While I have your attention…

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030613

Time
09:09
Microphone stand impales pregnant woman.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030613

Time
09:11
Adam Ant appears to be settling down. He’s moved on from going beserk in pubs to going beserk in cafes.



UPDATE – Tee-hee! Look what happens when you search for ‘Stuart Goddard’ in Google.

I really must do something about Celebrity Bestiality soon. This was my first major experiment in SEO and was very useful in its day, but lately I just can’t be arsed to make up bestial nonsense each and every month.

After months of neglect it’s still No. 3 for the search term ‘bestiality’ in Google. A lot of this comes down to a little-known aspect of Google’s ranking algorithm relating to site/index history. I created CB almost 4 years ago – well before most porn merchants cottoned onto the fact that there was a widely-used alternate spelling of the word ‘beastiality’ – and have pretty much been updating it with fresh content on a monthly basis since then.

This puts it in a position that’s pretty hard to beat without a time machine. Fresh content each month would keep it exactly where it is indefinitely, but as I said; I simply cannot be arsed these days. I’m wondering right now if I should sell it to a porn merchant or just let it die a natural death.

Actually, let’s make it the subject of some Friday Feeback. It’s been a while, and I think I need a little moral guidance. Should I get back to work on it, sell it off, let it die, or do something else? Emails to the usual address.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030613
Riding High on Blogdex
Time
09:14
The trouble with trackback. It’s long and boring, but kind of important.

If you understand all of that (or perhaps feel in some vague way that you need to) then you may also wish to take in the AlwaysOn debate.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030613

Time
09:15
Martha sings!

Wing sings!

Wingdings!

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030613

Time
09:22
I barely had time to scratch my bum in Boston, but if I’d found a lazy hour or so, I would have been on a Boston Duck Tour in a shot.

Along the roads, past the sights, then straight into the river for more of the same. Is there something like this in London? If not – why not?

UPDATE – Hooray, there is! (Matt and Al submitted links within 10 seconds of each other.)

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030613

Time
09:29
Nigel Turner wants to put black into the Jack. Can we also have a little green dot to represent the shape-shifting aliens that secretly rule our lives? How about a brown smear to celebrate the bullshit thrown about in this great nation of ours?

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030613

Time
09:43
Jesus Christ: the press conference. I remember when advertising guru Siimon Reynolds (please note wanky spelling of name) was asked on a chat show to come up with a slogan for the second coming. He earned my respect for all of 11.5 seconds with this:

‘Jesus Christ; Thank God He’s Back!’

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030613
Tony Blair’s Email
Time
10:00
Blair email ‘discovery’ used as intro for spam article. The Guardian. Again. Neil, if you’re watching, can you send a memo around or something?

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030613
Flash Music Video
Time
10:03
Some forum love for JPEG Baby has been coming in from BeyondUnreal/Jolt and the Wil Wheaton forum. Also, here’s a bunch of people saying nice things about it in Italian. Total page views since launch: 51,751

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030613

Time
10:18
Job of lord chancellor abolished after 1,400 years; Law lords to be replaced by US-style supreme court.

Australians got a fair bit of stick for ‘voting to keep the Queen,’ but they only did so because Little Johnny Howard made damn sure that the alternative model proposed in the referendum was a presidential one. I’m not a big fan of the monarchy or outmoded institutions in general, but I do think there’s a need for safety valves – especially with a blinkered leader like Blair in charge. I’m not the only one who’s more than a little bit worried about this development.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030613
Friday Feedback
Time
10:43
I’ve got a new song in my head, but to bring it to life I need someone who can perform and record a jolly good cover of The Dandy Warhols’ Bohemian Like You. Any takers?

If this isn’t you, then don’t panic. You still get to send me email. See the updated post about halfway down the page relating to Celebrity Bestiality.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030616

Time
08:25
Coca-Cola delivery sacked after 12 years of service for drinking Pepsi on the job.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030616
Photoshopping
Time
08:27
I really must look in at Worth1000 more often. This competition is pretty flat as far as variety goes, but the work itself is just wonderful: What do you think Martha’s cell would look like?

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030616
Does What It Says On The Tin
Time
08:31
Hot on the heels of rent-a-negro.com comes downwithwhitey.com

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Date
20030616

Time
08:32
Virgin Mary appears in hospital window. And here’s a picture, boys and girls…

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030616
Flash Music Video
Time
08:34
Have we done Poland yet? Oh, and after weeks of two links here and three links there, JPEG Baby has finally entered the Blogdex chart – at #32. Total page views since launch: 53,206.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030616

Time
08:42
Man arrested in million dollar eBay fraud. Lots of thousand-dollar laptops never arrived.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030616

Time
08:43
Sausages for lunch, anyone?

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030616

Time
08:44
A fine collection of screen captures of farewell messages from failed dotcoms. The final message from misguided keyword ownership venture Realnames is my favourite. They just can’t believe it.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030616

Time
08:48
This is why you never see an actual picture of the product on the front of a sex-doll box. Unsurprisingly, they’re all rubbish. The Dyanna Lauren Fantasy Doll has an artifical vagina where her bellybutton should be.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030616
The Political Weblog Movement
Time
09:29
This looks to be the week where we might actually make a breakthrough. A lot of people, some prompted by me, some not, are waking up to the political applications of weblogs. Some have done so without even realising it:

“A third part of the answer lies in ministers’ own hands too. As well as listening to criticism, they have got to find a way of addressing the public more credibly. They have to find a way of being more grown-up in public. This means seriously dismantling parts of the centralised on-message culture to allow politicians to admit to uncertainty, error and ambivalence. The trust issue will never recover without such a loosening up.

“But the need to engage has to go much wider. Last week, the Hansard Society published a pamphlet, A Tale of Two Houses, which suggests ways in which the political class as a whole can open its mind and its eyes to the Big Brother generation. Politicians, suggests the author, should do far more to show that they live in the same world as the millions who live in this instantly connected world. Not necessarily to be like them, but certainly to know what it is like to be them.”

Some, however, have already got the wrong end of this bloody stick I’ve been gnawing on for what seems like forever.

Tom Watson gets it. Gary Hart gets it. Howard Dean does not.

By engaging their audiences directly, people like Tom and Gary have built up a natural network of support in a very short time. Howard Dean does not publish his thoughts directly, and so his support network has far less to go on. Their pleading posts to Usenet (and often directly to me) to visit and/or include a link to his so-called weblog read like associate spam. Why? Because his blog lacks personal content (and, therefore, the correct context).

I’m going to be in touch with Andrew Pinder’s office this week to see if we can’t bring something solid together here in the UK. His department is in charge of leading the e-volution of government services, they’re long-overdue for a well-publicised winning initiative, and this one is a no-brainer.

A ‘Weblogs for MPs’ intitiave also sets an excellent precedent for the senatorial weblog drive.

However, it’s also very easy to get this kind of thing very, very wrong.

It won’t be enough to simply make the technology available (although I do have plans to make it more accessible). An MP needs to know what a weblog is and why he/she needs it before theirs will come to life. The drive of the individual is all-important. (I’ve been congratulated in the past for ‘getting an MP to blog,’ but I have to point out that Tom Watson came to me knowing exactly what he wanted to do and why he wanted to do it.)

The existence of Tom’s blog makes the whole thing a lot easier to understand, especially as he’s doing so well at it. The main part of this drive, then, is finding a few more folks who can lead by example. I hate to sound on-message about this, but it’s ‘hearts and minds’ time, people.

Tom’s weblog has not only shown us what press clippings and soundbites cannot (that he’s a real person who faces real challenges) he’s brought a number of documents to light that – while being publicly available – often do not reach their audience as they seem terribly abstract when not presented in context (or are hidden away, buried deep in massive databases).

If Tom works on a document or makes a decision based on it, then he links to it. That’s engaging. I’ve read a number of things via his weblog that I normally wouldn’t have bothered to look up. Because I’m interested in him, I’m interested in what he’s doing.

Another reason for Andrew Pinder’s office to get involved. This will be a win well beyond a simple matter of accessibility. It will also breath life into many past initiatives (such as those web-accessible government reports and other such documents that are currently wasting away in the ether).

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030616
Tony Blair’s Email
Time
12:43
Still no word from Tim Yeo. I wonder if he reads his email?

Has anybody else emailed him and actually received a reply?

PS – Thanks for the weekend feedback. It looks like Celebrity Bestiality is destined for ebay.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030616

Time
13:00
Twice since Friday I’ve had to send polite emails to Labour MPs who are requesting inclusion at Tom’s list of Labour MPs online, warning them that it is not a smart idea to have a domain name with ‘mp’ in it.

When an election is announced, you lose the status of being an active MP. Even if you get voted straight back in, this still means that you legally have to relocate the website at what is a very crucial time. Not smart. Ann Widdecombe came a cropper on this technicality during the last election, but she still hasn’t learned her lesson.

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Date
20030616

Time
13:31
Cool. I rated a mention in the weblog conference wrap-up. Thanks, Rebecca. There’s a crisp twenty in the mail.

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Date
20030616

Time
13:47
Labour website hacked; photoshopped images planted. Mum, I swear I had nothing to do with it. Really.

Hollywood Sites, Hollywood URLs

The folks in Hollywood need a serious clue regarding the location and promotion of official movie websites. Most promotional material will drive you via one of the following methods… (Hulk used as example, because Hulk good. Hulk understand.)

‘AOL keyword: hulk’
‘Visit the official website at the thehulk.com’

In this case, the studio was lucky enough to be able to secure a solid and direct domain name, but in most cases, the studio would be reduced to using a URL like:

thehulkthemovie.com

All of this activity is a complete waste of time and money, and shows no concern for long-term strategy. Here’s why:

- In most cases, people do not navigate by URL. Even if they think that they know the URL, they will more often than not search for that URL in a search engine – usually Google.

- AOL is powered by Google. What the bloody hell are you wasting money on an AOL Keyword for?

- The precedent of location by named URL is open to use or abuse by cybersquatters, opportunists, and genuine fan sites. Even if you have the time and money to hassle such people, you can’t fight them all (and in some cases you haven’t got a leg to stand on). In this case, there is a notable fan site located at hulkmovie.com – and it’s very hard to see the difference between the two sites at first glance.

- This approach does not take full advantage of the link popularity generated by interest in any given movie.

If you run the official movie site, you would (or should) be the top search result in Google for searches relating to that movie, due to the official site being linked to from heavy-duty sites such as the IMDB and a bunch of other smaller sites – that’s the way Google works. It’s also why 90% of your search traffic will come from Google in one way or another.

(The Google system works better than any other, that’s why portals such as Yahoo! and AOL have been forced to integrate it into their systems. If anything comes along one day to beat Google, it will do so by beating Google at its own game. The approach of feeding valid content and generating link popularity is a sound one, and pretty much future-proof.)

Right now, most studio and/or movie sites are flash-heavy and impossible to index. That’s the first thing that’s got to change.

Phase One – Opening Up To Indexing

Urgh! Hulk released by Universal Pictures. Hulk look at Universal Picture site. Site make heavy use of Flash and not fully indexable. Google not able to see in and feed relevant information to Hulk when Hulk search for specific movies or other stuff Hulk need to know. Hulk go to Hulk site and Universal site and have no idea that studio also make good movie Bruce Almighty!

Folks, we know you often make excellent movies and spend lots of money on them. You do not need to impress us with great swathes of Flash. You certainly shouldn’t use Flash for primary navigation. Flatten it out, invite the indexing robots in. This allows people to navigate their way directly to the most relevant section of your site via a Google search.

You also need to remember that they call the main page an ‘index’ page for a reason. There should be navigation to every primary section of the site (with highlighted versions of the most popular/useful sections) right there on this front page.

Keep it simple. You’re big enough to get away with it, and we’re too cynical to be impressed by anything OTT.

Right. Once you’ve got that sorted out, you can move onto the most critical phase of this strategy:

Phase Two – Hosting Movie Microsites at Studio URLs

Forget all of that buying domain names rubbish. The hosting/naming format you need to adapt as the norm is as follows:

universalstudios.com/hulk
universalstudios.com/bruce_almighty
etc.

Why is this important?

- It makes it immediately clear which is the official site and which isn’t in any given set of results.
- This location will still be the top search result for queries relating to the movie.
- Using a folder approach such as this allows you to take long-term advantage of resulting link popularity.

Google not only takes note of who links to your site; Google remembers. Link activity around universalstudios.com/hulk not only benefits this specific location, but also the overall ranking of other material hosted at the core URL.

Why is this important?

There are other smaller movies that you release that may not receive significant link attention, but Google will regard your site overall to be a rich source of information, and will therefore rank you highly for any other information you choose to host correctly under this URL. This goes not only for specific movie titles, but general queries relating to types of movies (more on this later in Phase Four).

Phase Three – Microsite Format and Evolution

It’s all very well and good having a big Flash presentation, but the introductory page for any given movie needs to be standardised, indexable, concise and text-based. There will be other search queries relating to different aspects of the movie (such as those relating to the director or star) and you’ll want to collect a few punters on the basis of these searches as well.

This approach also allows you to present information about other movies from your studio that may be on the same theme, by the same director, or featuring the same star(s).

This page can then evolve with the needs of the film. A quick and quiet location detector can tell you which country the visitor is in, so it’s a snap to feed them info such as:

- When it will be released in cinemas, and where it can be seen.
- When it will be available on video/DVD, and where it can be purchased.
- When it will be on cable/pay-per-view, and which channel it will be on.
- When it will be on terrestrial television, and which channel it will be on.

All of this opens the way for some healthy partnerships. Why should the Internet Movie Database have all the fun? It’s your movie, right?

Also, most movie sites will arrive with a splash and then be suddenly withdrawn. Some may stay or return for a DVD release, but more often than not a new site is built for this purpose – usually at a new location. This is not only wasteful; it tends to piss fans off.

Again, it’s your movie. For as long as there is a fan base for that movie, your studio site needs to be the primary source of information. Feel free to change, reduce or improve the content as time goes by, but keep it in one location, FFS!

It saves you money, done right it stands to actually make you money, and further down the line it makes it easier for you to promote smaller movies, the inevitable sequels to your main movies, and – most important all, I would argue – related movies:

Phase Four – Generic Search Terms

Over half a million people search for ‘action movie’ or ‘action movies’ each and every month. Where is your ‘Universal Studios – Action Movies’ page?

Sure, it’s a pretty generic search term and saturation is high (Hulk say: saturation mean when big lot of people fight for top result on same search term) but we’re talking about some hefty cumulative link popularity here – you stand a much better chance of winning this battle than most independent sites.

That’s half a million people – using one generic search term – each and every month. Why aren’t you introducing these people to your wonderful selection of movies?

Do your mainstream promotion right and people will seek a particular movie out. This is to be expected. Top search results for this movie can almost be guaranteed. Let’s take that as a given.

However, you’re not reaching the people who may not even be aware that any given movie exists! Your current Internet strategy relies heavily on offline expenditure. Assemble and present your assets correctly, and this can change.

16-31 May, 2003

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Date
20030516
Riding High on Blogdex
Time
08:41
The resume of George W. Bush tops the chart admirably – and deservedly – today.

I’m still coming to grips with this:

‘Produced a Hollywood slasher B movie.’

Really? No… it has to be some kind of bad joke, surely.

The IMDB has quite an interesting listing for Dubya, but I see no mention of a slasher movie. I’ll go Googling later this morning to see if I can’t discover the truth.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030516

Time
08:49
Pensacola police officer resigns after making a 16-year-old girl perform jumping jacks while topless. Officer Shields threatened the girl (and a 19-year-old lad in her company) with arrest for ‘lewd and lascivious behaviour.’ The topless exercise routine was his idea of a suitable on-the-spot punishment. He resigned 30 minutes ahead of being sacked. No doubt he looks forward to a new career in mall security, where he will find wicked, quivering teen flesh in abundance.

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Date
20030516

Time
08:57
I felt a great disturbance in the force. As though dozens of cows cried out in terror, and were suddenly silenced.

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Date
20030516

Time
09:01
The French government believes it is the victim of an ‘organized campaign of disinformation’ from within the Bush administration. I’m simply not prepared to believe that…

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Date
20030516

Time
09:03
After 7 years of legal wrangling, the Utah Supreme Court has finally ruled that cats are not dogs.

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Date
20030516

Time
09:05
More on Matrix Reloaded: ‘We waited four years for this?’

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Date
20030516

Time
09:06
I got a fair amount of stick down at the local pub for taking along a few print-outs of online articles telling the truth about Jessica Lynch’s ‘heroic’ rescue. Couldn’t be real. Any joker could have written it. Etc.

Yesterday, I went down there with a genuine newspaper.

The reaction?

“Well, what do you expect? It’s the Guardian!”

No wonder Tony and George are so confident that they’ll get away with their illegal war. They have the majority of media owners and controllers onside, and everybody trusts their favourite newspaper. Besides, they all saw it on TV – which makes it real, right?

Anyway, we didn’t have a choice. We had to deal with them there Weapons of Mass Destruction, right? Wrong.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030516

Time
09:16
Sex: the new rules (at least for those of us in the UK). Remarkably, there is a softening in approach to so-called zoophiles, as they are covered under the general theme of ‘consent’.

Pardon? Consent?

“Sit! Roll over! Good boy! Does Rover want a snacky treat? Goood boy! Does Rover want an extra *special* treat? Goooooood boy!

RSPCA hassling you over that sack of dead kittens found in the canal? Your best defence now is to claim that it was a ‘sex game gone wrong.’

Next thing you know, we’ll have the folks from Huntingdon Life Sciences producing consent forms (signed with paw prints, natch) showing that the monkeys wanted to smoke high-tar cigarettes, the dogs asked to wear make-up and the bunny rabbits simply demanded to have the new CS gas tested on them.

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Date
20030516

Time
09:32
Desmond looks like he will get a long-overdue slapping for ‘passing off.’ He likes a good passing off, does our Richard. Here’s an article listing a few past offences.

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Date
20030516

Time
09:37
By now you all know that Tom’s Teens! page is a bit of a larf.

This isn’t. This is real. And it’s intended to help Christian youth workers to ‘reach the kids.’

Now, to be perfectly honest, I didn’t know how to speak to the kids when I was a kid – but I certainly knew enough to stick to my own damn vocabulary.

Incredibly, this page has been live for over a year and has yet to result in a single playground stabbing.

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Date
20030516

Time
09:52
Steve’s Not In My America is definitely a blog worth watching. Thanks go to Simon for putting me onto it.

The excellent question asked today is ‘where is the outrage? ….why are we not absorbed in UNgate, WMDgate and Carriergate?’

Steve rightly points out that there is plenty of outrage out there, but most of it fails to make the mainstream channels (insert ‘owned by’ list here).

‘Many of us are just too busy or too distracted or too lazy to actively gather our news. Instead, we turn on the tube or the radio and let it passively spoonfeed us.’

Well said, that man.

UPDATE – True or not, I find it quite telling that we’ve heard not a single solitary whisper about George W. Bush being accused of rape. With Clinton, true or not (or, more to the point, paranoid nutcase or not), the story would have been on the evening news in minutes. You can see some documentation here, some reflection on the media non-reaction here, a comment on it being published – and quickly pulled – at the Fort Bend Star website here and some fun being had with the story here. Enjoy.

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Date
20030516
The Humanity vs. Anarchy Project
Time
09:57
Chalking continues in The Humanity vs. Anarchy Project, but you may notice from the fresh photos on the page that I’ve been exploring new methods of delivery. I’m open to any other ideas people might have. I hear from a lot of people who want to get involved, but are somewhat nervous about committing chalk to a public surface. We need to give them something to do.

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Date
20030516

Time
11:02
I’m at my desk working right now. Honest. Actually, I’m busy sorting my socks.

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Date
20030516

Time
16:19
The truth behind Monkey Man. More free inches for the tabloids courtesy of a B3tan. How many extra copies do you think The Sun sold on the back of this (all the while nudging and winking that they themselves were behind the hoax)? The hoaxers should have grabbed the reward they claim was offered for the real identity of the masked superhero, given the story to the paper involved, and then gone to a rival paper and shopped them (offering the money to charity, of course). Of course, had they done this, the betrayed paper would have dug up just about anything they could find about the hoaxer’s background (or just made something up) and then torn them a new arsehole.

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Date
20030516
The Political Weblog Movement
Time
17:13
Looks like I’m going to have to add The Official Howard Dean Weblog to the very short list on Why Politicians Need Weblogs. Then again, perhaps not. Official it may be, but I see very few words and thoughts from the man himself. The human side is the key. Lose that and there’s no point blogging.

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Date
20030516
Friday Feedback
Time
17:40
Something different this weekend. Instead of sending feedback to me, I’m going to ask you to send feedback to your MP or other regional elected representative. Email, fax or letter, exactly what you send them is up to you – but if you appreciate the weblog format and think that it would do wonders for way they conduct themselves, then I would request that you also include the following URL:

http://www.bloggerheads.com/politicians.asp

I’m getting stonewalled everywhere I turn on this, and could do with some backup. Cheers all.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030519

Time
08:28
It’s a Mac with a Lego chassis. So?

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030519

Time
08:30
Bank robbers asks stranger for fastest way out of town. Stranger happens to be bank manager’s son.

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Date
20030519

Time
08:33
U.S. military attacks Saddam supporters with ‘culturally offensive music’. The play list includes Metallica and Barney.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030519

Time
08:37
Harry T. Keane Jr. sues makers of American Idol, saying he came up with the show’s title and concept. He used the old-fashioned ‘$2 copyright’ (mailing the idea to himself by registered post), so it’ll be interesting to see how this one comes out. BTW, the use of the term ‘self described’ in front of an individual’s job description is only one stop short of putting the word ‘loser’ in the headline.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030519

Time
08:47
Read about the folks in charge of making President George Bush look good.

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Date
20030519
Christianity Watch
Time
08:51
Abbacomics.com is nothing to do with well-crafted pop. It’s actually about accepting Jesus Christ as your Lord and Saviour because the voices in your head told you to do so.

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Date
20030519

Time
08:55
The Star Wars Kid made the New York Times! (Link requires registration, but the URL alone speaks volumes…)

While we’re looking at the Times, remember those WMDs that we had to find, but now we’re not so worried about? OK, so maybe this justification for war couldn’t stand on its one withered leg, but there was the need for regime change, right? We had to liberate those lovable little Iraqis so they could run their own country, right?

Well, no…

‘In an abrupt reversal, the United States and Britain have indefinitely put off their plan to allow Iraqi opposition forces to form a national assembly and an interim government by the end of the month.’

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030519

Time
09:03
Man jailed for having sex with a cow. When will people learn that ‘moo’ means ‘no’…?

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030519
Stolen Jokes
Time
09:04
A doctor reaches into his jacket pocket and pulls out a thermometer.

‘Damn,’ he says, ‘some arsehole’s got my pen!’

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Date
20030519
Andrew Orlowski and Weblog Envy
Time
09:08
Dave Winer: ‘…Orlowski, either doesn’t understand the relationship to being on the Web and being in a search engine, or chooses not to clue his readers in.’

Doc Searls goes into much more detail, but both articles make the same point.

Want a chance to be part of the top ten on any given subject? Then you have to open up your site to Google. Duh. Want to be seen as a source of recent and relevant information? Then try publishing a web presence and actually updating it with recent and relevant information in a format that indexing robots can access.

For the record, I should note that I do agree with Orlowski on one small point – that of sometime noise pollution. That’s why my archives aren’t indexable by Google.

Directive Seven: ‘Thou shalt not pollute or corrupt search engines’

If I have something important/enduring to say, then I publish a static page and throw in some modest and relevant arming. If others find it truly relevant, then up the charts it goes.

A range of search queries for Tony Blair’s email address are a pretty good example of this. If the folks in charge of this side of Tony’s business knew what the hell they were doing, the email facility would exist. Even if it didn’t, their explanatory page leading folks to alternative methods of contact would also rank at No. 1 if armed correctly and linked accordingly.

Actually, if The Register had decent Page Titles that explained what their articles were about, I wouldn’t have been inundated with misdirected email for Tony in the first place.

This leads me to something else I should point out of the record… The Register still hasn’t addressed this major problem with Google, despite me speaking with them about this in a professional capacity over a year ago.

Every article they publish comes with the following ready-made title: ‘The Register’ – that’s it, that’s all – and that’s how it turns up in Google whenever you trip over a Reg article in a search. Having more relevant Page Titles would not only improve their ranking for relevant search terms, it would also allow those who find them among search results to know what the hell the article is about (so we know whether to choose that link, or the one above/below it).

Be critical of blogs and Google as much as you like folks, but please know what the fark you’re talking about before you do – otherwise you’ll just look like jealous wannabes.

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Date
20030519

Time
09:49
OK, so Googlewhacking is old hat, but I wasn’t expecting much from either of Dave Gorman’s previous projects and was pleasantly surprised both times – therefore, I’m willing to give him the benefit of the doubt.

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Date
20030519

Time
10:00
Wonder at the infinite inaccuracy of Hollywood with the IMDB Goofs Page.

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Date
20030519

Time
10:04
I’m praying that someone, somewhere, chooses to create a fitting answer to thankyoutony.com, as I just don’t have the time.

I would like to point out, however, that the following domain name is available.

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Date
20030519

Time
15:19
I had 4 copies of the Palyh virus sent to me this morning (that’s the one pretending to come from support@microsoft.com).

Here are a couple of news reports on this virus by the BBC and The Register. Don’t forget to update those virus definition files, folks!

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Date
20030520

Time
07:21
Meetings today, and yet another chance to educate people. I’m actually going to wear my monkey suit this time. With underwear. See you tomorrow.

PS – That flash show I’ve been working on is almost finished, but I need a few test viewers before launch. Volunteers should send emails to the usual address.

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Date
20030520

Time
16:31
I’m back from London and would dearly love to blog fully, but I’m into the last 20 seconds of this damn flash show and just have to close it off. After that’s done, I just need to add the ‘loading’ and ‘play’ functions and we’re ready for testing.

Head down.

Arse up.

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Date
20030520
Flash Music Video
Time
20:52
My very first flash show ever is now ready.

Well, kind of. I have to learn how to set the music to stream (or so I’m told) so it synchs better on a wider range of computer speeds.

I think I’ve almost got that sussed but – so you can enjoy the full benefit of the learning process – here’s Version 1, warts and all:

JPEG Baby – A Love Song For The 21st Century (800kb)

UPDATE – The version linked above is now the new streamed version. This should work for almost everybody. If it doesn’t, give me a yell. Cheers all.

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Date
20030521
Flash Games
Time
08:22
We’ve had Gasteroids, now there’s Pasteroids. Haemorrhoids will be next, you mark my words.

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Date
20030521

Time
08:25
Disgraced NYT reporter wants to write about his mistakes. And perhaps his upcoming TV movie of the week deal?

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Date
20030521

Time
08:27
Shades of Blogshares, this time paring down to link speculation: The Popdex Game gives you the chance to ‘pick links that you believe will increase in popularity the most in the next 48 hours.’ Kind of takes the fun out of it, don’t you think?

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Date
20030521

Time
08:31
I was quite surprised to read a short acknowledgment of Andrew Orlanksi’s misguided article sans clarification in Monday’s Guardian, but Neil McIntosh more than makes up for it with this belated storm in a tea cup article. On Orlanski’s stunning assumption that drove this biased article (based, he said, on ‘precedent’, Neil had this to say:

Precedent suggests nothing of the sort. The “precedent” quoted, when Google bought the Usenet archives of Deja.com and “removed the groups from the main index”, is a red herring. Google has not removed newsgroups from the main Google index – you’ll find web-based archives of newsgroups on there today. It simply built a far better, specialised search for the groups elsewhere after it acquired the Deja.com archive.

If you want to go by precedent, then it’s probably safer to assume that Google’s expected weblog search will relate mostly to a database formed from Blogger.com users.

Anyway, here’s more loose talk on Google ‘pollution’:

Google isn’t saying “sorry, this sucks for what you searched on, but I’m so confused by all this incestuous linking that I just have to give it to you anyway,” what it’s saying is “I don’t have anything useful for that query, but people seem to think this guy knows his way around, and he’s at least used the words in your search, so maybe he linked to something that will prove useful.”

Spot on. This goes back to my comments of the day before yesterday. If there is no email address for Tony Blair, then who are you gonna call?

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Date
20030521

Time
08:50
Make your own ransom note. Saves a lot of that kerfuffle with old magazines, newspapers and glue, let me tell you. (Link nabbed from Ultimate Insult.)

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Date
20030521

Time
08:53
Michael Jackson spotted in a Spiderman mask and with an afro wig. Sadly, only the second link includes a picture. Has he finally gone completely hat-stand, or is there another record coming out?

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Date
20030521
Does What It Says On The Tin
Time
08:57
beerforthehomeless.com

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Date
20030521
Riding High on Blogdex
Time
08:58
The Einstein Archives are charting well, as is news that the Pentagon has started a Ministry of Silly Walks. Also, the Star Wars Kid made Wired.

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Date
20030521

Time
09:03
Study: Teens not waiting to have sex. Well, what do they expect when Paula Abdul keeps yelling “That’s the money shot!” on network television? Perhaps the producers of American Idol can suggest that she use a more suitable term – like pop-shot, maybe…

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Date
20030521

Time
09:08
A Department of Children & Families employee has been fired after being arrested for drag racing – with his 4-year-old child in back seat.

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Date
20030521

Time
09:11
A gift for all of you who never got over it. I love websites that are hacked out on a basic Word template, and the quotes from ‘users’ are wonderfully sincere.

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Date
20030521

Time
09:15
Damn. With everything else going on today, how the hell am I going to find time to design a suitable statue of George W. Bush?

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Date
20030521
Flash Music Video
Time
09:18
In case you missed it, we premiered the Flash ‘video’ for JPEG Baby last night.

Early versions weren’t synching well on slower/faster computers, but I think we’ve got that problem licked. Do let me know if I’m wrong.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030522

Time
08:12
Which of the following would you have trouble believing?

- From 1868 to 1975, the Federal Vampire & Zombie Agency (FVZA) was responsible for controlling the nation’s vampire and zombie populations while overseeing scientific research into the undead.

- During the recent Texas Democrat Boycott, someone, somewhere decided to get a federal authority involved. That authority has since burned all of its records.

- For 29 years, the CIA withheld from the public information about a terrorist threat against Santa Claus.

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Date
20030522

Time
08:28
I remember Wacky Packages. They even made it all the way out to Australia (despite most of the products featured being completely foreign to us). The world is a different place now. Australia isn’t exactly awash with Amercian products… those clever corporations were smart enough to simply buy out local brands.

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Date
20030522

Time
08:35
It’s the tree that grows meat. So now if you’re a vegetarian, you can chew on a burger any time you like. Unless, of course, you have a problem with genetically engineered food.

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Date
20030522

Time
08:42
At the same time the terror alert was raised in the U.S., new outlines of a domestic surveillance system were released. It’s designed to keep an eye on terrorists, of course. Nothing to do with the Home Spying Network at all. Read more about the wonders of the Total Information Awareness database project.

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Date
20030522

Time
08:53
It’s certainly turning out to be an interesting day. Now we have water that goes uphill.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030522
The Political Weblog Movement
Time
08:58
You cannot make more people vote via the Interwebnet with stupid ‘feel the width’ measures such as e-voting. Getting them more involved in the political process, however…

BTW, I made three more calls to the Technical Operations Department of the office of the Sergeant at Arms yesterday (to try yet again to get my hands on the procedures required for clearing Movable Type for use on senate.gov). I was put on hold thrice. I was redirected to some guy’s voice mail thrice. I left messages twice. All previous requests (usually left on this same voicemail) for a call, letter, email, anything have been ignored. I get the feeling they don’t take me very seriously… perhaps someone should warn them that this isn’t a very good idea.

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Date
20030522
Flash Music Video
Time
10:59
JPEG Baby received just under a thousand visitors in its first day. Referral data can only account for about half of this traffic, and there’s a lot of ‘linked from email’ indicators peppered throughout the referral stats, so it looks like there’s a great deal of one-to-one sharing going on.

The majority of linked traffic is coming from the pre-launch and launch at B3ta, this site in the Netherlands, and filepile.org

Also helping to spread the word of true love and onanism are phancy.com, TTR2, wibbler.com, meany.mine.nu, vurt.co.uk, adampsyche.com, and The Duchy of Your Fingers.

Daily indexing of Bloggerheads has been pretty patchy since my Dead Blog Holiday last month. It’s kind of like Google getting all ‘Fine, be like that!’ because I neglected our relationship. I’m hoping the link buzz around JPEG Baby will – as a healthy by-product – let Google know that I’m still busy and bring her back onside.

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Date
20030522
Photoshopping
Time
15:13
My design for the proposed George W. Bush statue is finished. I think I’ve captured his essence. What do you think?

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Date
20030522
Flash Thingies
Time
15:38
Weblog: The Movie

Short, to the point, and bound to be a complete mystery to most of the population.

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Date
20030522

Time
15:41
Blogging: Is the UK falling behind?

Tom’s right to be worried. I’m lucky enough to be going to the Weblog Business Strategies Conference in Boston but there’s sweet bugger all going on here in the UK, and this is a pretty good indication of the professional awareness/takeup of blogs hereabouts. And it’s not for want of trying, let me tell you…

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Date
20030522

Time
16:42
The dullest blog in the world just keeps going and going and going…

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Date
20030522
Ronald Scelson
Time
20:01
Ronald Scelson. Spammer. Illusionist. Delusionist.

“I’m probably the most hated person in this room,” said an unapologetic Scelson when giving testimony before the Senate Committee on Commerce, Science and Transportation.

He’s got that right. The man is either deluded beyond belief or a bare-faced liar/hypocrite/you-name-it.

Washington Post and PC World both have the story, but Slashdot has the most illuminating thread.

I have the feeling that Ronald’s letterbox will be quite full over the coming week.

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Date
20030523

Time
08:45
In the past, glow-in-the-dark products would give off a weak sheen and then die out after an hour or so, but thanks to the wonders of Strontium Aluminate (with Europium) we now have products that can glow ten times as bright for ten times as long. Thank God someone has come up with a practical application for this marvellous advance in technology.

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Date
20030523

Time
08:52
Here’s a picture of that pink bus they’ve been torturing naughty children with in the Isle of Wight. Don’t you think it’s a shame that the only disciplinary measure left to teachers is humiliation?

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Date
20030523

Time
08:55
The Star Wars Kid fundraiser netted over $4000.

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Date
20030523

Time
08:56
Documentation of Gator Advertisements and Targeting. Gator claim to be ‘the leader in online marketing,’ with more than 30 million users – most of them unwitting or involuntary. If you don’t know what Gator is, then you should probably spend time finding out. You’ll soon be asking yourself how you can see if it’s on your computer – and how you can get rid of it. The answer to both of those questions is Ad-aware.

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Date
20030523
It’s War! And Somebody’s Going To Pay!
Time
09:04
‘Regarding the situation in Iraq, it appears to this Senator that the American people may have been lured into accepting the unprovoked invasion of a sovereign nation, in violation of long-standing International law, under false premises. There is ample evidence that the horrific events of September 11 have been carefully manipulated to switch public focus from Osama Bin Laden and Al Queda who masterminded the September 11th attacks, to Saddam Hussein who did not.’

Cheers all round (again) for the indomitable Senator Robert C. Byrd. Read the entire speech here.

I’ll be emailing Sen. Byrd later today to see how approachable he is about embracing new technology.

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Date
20030523

Time
09:11
Proof that there is no God: McDonald’s is sponsoring Pope John Paul’s visit to Spain.

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Date
20030523

Time
09:13
8ft portrait of Anna Nicole Smith stolen. It’s 8 feet tall, not 8 feet wide. Stop being nasty.

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Date
20030523

Time
09:15
American Idol vote to be audited. Somebody’s been telling porkies….

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Date
20030523

Time
09:18
I won’t be wasting 15 Euros on this. I may, however, buy a monkey. Or not. With people starving, it would be indulgent of me to own a pet and feed that instead. In fact there are so many people in the world, I probably shouldn’t even be breeding. Perhaps I should do myself in and sell the parts for scrap.

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Date
20030523
Flash Music Video
Time
10:08
Yay! JPEG Baby has crossed the language barrier again.

I Babelfished the comments; they translate (very roughly) to say ‘considerably, it is good, is’ before going on to wonder who the hell it is that appears in the tail end of the video.

FYI, it’s Terry Wogan – perennial host of the BBC broadcast of the Eurovision Song Contest. Eurovision songs are notorious for long passages of la-la-la-la-la-la, that’s why he was included. The tog-sperm? Well, it was late at night – what can I say?

I’ll leave a comment on his blog and put the guy out of his misery. We want him to be able to sleep nights.

Only 637 visitors yesterday, but I’m hoping for a healthy run over the weekend to make up for it.

UPDATE – Some healthy linkage is now coming in from groovymother.com and coolio’s. Total visits since launch were nudging 2,000 around midday. I’d really like to add a zero to that figure.

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Date
20030523

Time
12:24
Don’t forget that this coming Monday (sorry) is Wank Holiday Monday. Give your hand a rest and instead donate money to the blind. I know it sounds awfully crass, but the organisers couldn’t find an established charity for people with hairy palms.

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Date
20030523

Time
12:52
Take time out to play this Coalition Cards Solitaire Game.

It’s 100% virtual, so you don’t need to respond to a steenkin’ spammer or part with any money.

Incidentally, I got a new variety of card-spam in my Inbox this morning. This new set is called the Deck of Weasels, and features a range of celebrities who dared to speak out against the war.

As you’ve probably noticed, the designer has them all wearing Saddamesque berets.

Devilishly clever, what?

Perhaps Spamhaus can help me to come up with a Spamming Bastards deck. Scelson could be the arse of spades.

UPDATE – Heh. The more I think about his idea, the more I like it. Spammers are a pretty secretive bunch, so photos will be hard to come by. Instead we can put home/business addresses on each card – and/or stats regarding the amount of spam they send. That way the deck would be dual purpose, as you could play Twat Trumps with them as well.

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Date
20030523
It’s War! And There’s Money To Be Made!
Time
13:22
Mark has pointed out to me that police trying to solve major crimes will often ‘follow the money.’ So, if anybody actually wanted to crack the case of the illegal war on Iraq, this place might be a good start.

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Date
20030523
Does What It Says On The Tin
Time
14:16
[NOTE - Do not follow the main link below without decent security settings or the latest copy of Ad-aware, or it will feed you a version of Xupiter (yet more crappy spyware).]

Sars.com is simply marvellous stuff – but don’t visit too close to lunchtime, as there’s a large image of a diseased lung that you’ll probably need an hour or two to get out of your mind. The site also has a short message or two regarding the quality of service you can expect from Verisign, but mostly it’s wonderfully OTT information about death, disease and government conspiracies.

Gems include:

‘The interpretation of the old ancient books say that the Sars Disease can very well be from the revenge of the powerful forces of the nature getting back at the Chinese people for not putting enough pressure towards their government to give back Tibet.’

and:

‘SARS is a mystery illness causes severe acute Respiratory syndrome and can kill you real fast.’

Interestingly, the site not only says ‘Copyright 1998,’ the domain has existed since May of that same year. Just how long have the Chinese been covering this up?

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Date
20030523

Time
14:19
Huzzah! Here’s a little forum love for JPEG Baby. We’ll make Top of the Pops yet. How does ‘Weblong Wonders’ sound as a band name?

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Date
20030524
Flash Music Video
Time
15:28
Now this is more like it. An appearance in the B3ta Newsletter has seen JPEG Baby reach not only the immediate audience of the newsletter, but dozens and dozens of forums as a result. It also got posted to another Japanese site and tomorrow (between 8am and 10am GMT) the song will receive airplay for the very first time on this student radio station in Wolverhampton.

[If anybody else wants to give it airplay, there is a higher quality MP3 available for download; just email me and ask nicely.]

Total visits since launch now number in excess of 10,000. Looks like I’m going to get that extra zero I wanted.

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Date
20030525
Eurovision
Time
07:51
All the really awful acts appeared in the first half, so I wasn’t drunk enough to throw popcorn!

Nice to see Austria placed at 6th, though. At least *some* people in Europe still have a sense of humour.

The song and performance by the UK entry was appalling, and certainly didn’t warrant much attention – but I found it quite telling that we didn’t even get one sympathy vote.

Rock bottom with nil points for the first time ever. It doesn’t look like we have any friends left in Europe.

Oh well. At least we didn’t get booed as much as the Russians did. All that fuss over a very poor performance – and we didn’t even get to see any lesbian frottage! For shame!

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030526

Time
08:50
See some famous monkeys through history, a list of monkey appearances in The Simpsons, or go out a get a life with some gen-ew-ine sea monkeys.

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Date
20030526

Time
08:59
Trashlog collects and displays a single piece of trash every day for the benefit of the public. It’s appreciated.

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Date
20030526

Time
09:01
Ducklings led away from restaurant drive-through fall through manhole.

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Date
20030526

Time
09:03
SaferAmerica.com offers a range of products to help you deal with the ever-present threat of attack, disaster and disease. The inspired evacuation systems collection features a number of parachutes, including an Executive Chute that’s strangely less expensive than the other parachutes, but is wonderfully slimline and bound to be more effective as a result.

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Date
20030526
Eurovision
Time
09:11
UK act hits Eurovision low. At least this article acknowledges the main problem with the whole ‘nul points’ thing: Jemini were crap.

UPDATE – There’s also this excellent piece in The Guardian: Nul points – UK out of tune with Europe.

Still, Wogan said it best on the night when it became apparent that we didn’t get a single point from anybody:

“It’s pretty obvious what needs to be done. We’re going to have to send a gunboat.”

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030526
Flash Games
Time
09:16
This is a great collection of classic arcade games in Flash format, featuring everything from Pong to Kong. (Link nabbed from Ultimate Insult.)

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Date
20030526
Riding High on Blogdex
Time
09:21
Enjoy a 360° view from the top of Mt Everest.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030526

Time
09:23
Australian boobs are getting bigger. Good news for the boys at home.

(Hi Steve. Your Walnut Whips are on the way. Just send me a bloody mailing address.)

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030526
Flash Music Video
Time
09:26
JPEG Baby has now reached over 15,440 people. It has been estimated by an independent statistician (well, some guy down the pub at least) that this number far exceeds the number of people who voted for the UK act at Eurovision. Worth thinking about come selection time next year, folks.

We’re getting a lot of Blogdex love, but not all at once (which is keeping us out of the chart). Ho hum.

UPDATE – We’ve pretty much smashed the language barrier on this one. Here’s a link/review in Portugese, just for starters. A lot of what Bloggerheads does goes down well in the Netherlands, but this is the biggest success so far. Most traffic from this part of the world is coming from Westvillage, Fok! and this page at Webwereweld, but there are lots of smaller weblogs and forums adding to the swell. The Eurovision stuff was kind of added as an afterthought/joke, but I’m seriously thinking of putting an entry in for next year – especially considering the universal appeal of this song and how well Austria did with their comedic approach.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030526

Time
09:47
Remember folks, today is Wank Holiday Monday. Give it a rest – and give generously.

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Date
20030526

Time
11:16
Media Guardian: Get a grip on reality. I worry about this kind of thing a lot, especially the aspect of aspirations. Do you really want to live in a world where kids are growing up just wanting to be famous? Not wanting to do anything to earn it, mind – just wanting to be famous.

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Date
20030526
Flash Music Video
Time
13:25
More link love from the Netherlands, with a few hundred visitors dropping by from Totally Flabbergasted (permalink with comments proving that a few people do drop by the main blog here).

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030527

Time
09:29
Could the attack near Baghdad airport have something to do with the PoW camp down the road, where thousands of Iraqi prisoners of war and other captives are being held illegally and treated inhumanely? I’d say it’s a fair bet.

In other news, the US plans to turn Guantanamo Bay into a death camp, with its own death row, execution chamber, and frozen yoghurt stand. OK, so I made that last bit up. Sue me. Or send some super-soldiers after my ass. Your choice.

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Date
20030527

Time
09:36
Campbell Island (NZ) is now rat-free. With any luck, they’ll start on the cats next.

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Date
20030527

Time
09:40
Is CD re-packaging a rip-off? Well, let me ask you… how many times have to seen a bargain-price ‘best of’ album mysteriously disappear from the shelves, only to see a new full-price version appear in its place a month or so later – the only difference being a new cover and (maybe) a few ‘lost’ studio/live tracks that nobody is interested in anyway?

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030527

Time
09:43
The winners of Nerve’s Bad Erotica Contest have been announced. The outright victor had me from the very first sentence:

“She woke with the taste of his turgid penis on her lips…”

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030527

Time
09:51
Mother arrested after putting her child in a coin-operated washing machine. The machine was of the type that locks when the cycle starts and doesn’t unlock until it’s done. A policeman had to smash the window of the machine with his baton to rescue the child.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030527

Time
09:55
A team of lawyers is set to take on the spammers. They’re led by New York state’s Attorney General Eliot Spitzer, who just happened to announce recently that he plans on running for the office of New York governor in 2006. Still, at least somebody is on the case. Spammers are getting cheekier and cheekier as they’re left to their own devices. I received one email this morning offering to make me a millionaire spammer. Be warned that the following boast (quoted word-for-word from the email) is likely to make you want to spit gravy:

”Why are we so successful?? 1. Because NO ONE can bring us down! And 2. Because we KICK ASS with Our HACKER PROOF and ANTI-SPAMMER PROOF sales websites and because when you get right down to it, PEOPLE ARE LIKE SHEEP, and if the ‘sheep’ get enough e-mail shoved at them, the sheep WILL become customers!”

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Date
20030527

Time
10:04
After years of downplaying this and denying that, Arnold Schwarzenegger finally admits plans to take over the world. You will fear his mighty muscles.

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Date
20030527

Time
10:06
Iraqi statue-makers struggle for work. Surely they should get into the statue-removal business instead? At the very least, they can help to fill out the crowds.

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Date
20030527

Time
10:14
Remember the kid that rescued children from a burning building, only to get recognised on TV by authorities who then arrested him for a probation violation?

He was arrested on Friday for hitting his brother with a shovel.

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Date
20030527

Time
10:19
Register your credit card details and share them with the world today!

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Date
20030527

Time
10:22
Arab-American woman in court to contest parking tickets faints when judge asks if she is a terrorist. Are you now…?

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Date
20030527
Bring Down The Bush Regime
Time
10:25
Senator Robert C. Byrd’s floor remarks of the 21st of May have been repeated over at thenation.com

Worth reading again, expecially when you consider the 911 link and what the government may or may not want you think about that.

Here’s a pretty strong indication that they were aware of this specific kind of terrorist threat 10 months before the incident, and here are some public documents from Congress’ Joint Inquiry into 9/11 that the Bush Administration wants to retroactively classify.

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Date
20030527
Flash Music Video
Time
10:32
JPEG Baby has now reached Denmark. The Japanese are still mulling it over, and all in all we’re looking at over 20,000 page views since launch.

UPDATE – Ooh, look – a link/comment in Hebrew! Yay!

The song has only received airplay twice so far, but I’ve just put an announcement on the main page (to replace the now-outdated Wank Holiday Monday link) to let DJs of all ranks know that a high-quality MP3 is available upon request.

I think we’ve pretty much proved the appeal of the song and the promotional effectiveness of the Flash format, so this seems as good a time as any to move onto Phase 2 – getting people to bug their local radio station so we can get some serious mainstream airtime.

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Date
20030527

Time
10:47
Damn. I’ve completely forgotten who asked me to send them details of the recent barcode scam, so I’m going to blog it and hope that they’ll get back to me with a ‘it was me – thanks, dumbass’ message before I completely forget that I made the offer to send the link at all.

Here’s the Wired article on this subject and here’s the site that caused most of the fuss.

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Date
20030527
Operation Justification
Time
11:25
Welsh MP Ann Clwyd is flying to Iraq as a ‘human rights’ envoy. Her main priority seems to be investigating violations by Saddam’s regime, which basically means visiting gravesites. Perhaps she should show more concern for the living and have a closer look at what the Bush regime is up to while she’s there.

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Date
20030527
Photoshopping
Time
13:11
It’s a bit rough and ready, but it had to be done for my own sanity – Terry Wogan takes a stand against Outer Rim block voting.

I’ll add it to the The Star Wars Photoshopping Project later today, along with a submission I’ve been neglecting to include for about a week or so.

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Date
20030528

Time
09:35
Running a bit late this morning. I woke up with two articles, and by the time I’d finished scrawling down notes, it was 9:30

I’ll be writing and releasing at least one of them later today.

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Date
20030528

Time
09:37
Thank God for the good folks of Hollywood. Without them, we wouldn’t have the ultimate miracle diet or significant advances in nipple-tape technology.

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Date
20030528

Time
09:42
Ambulance driver charged with speeding. The upshot being that an ambulance on the way to a call or carrying a patient is exempt from such charges, while an ambulance carrying organs for transplant is not.

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Date
20030528

Time
09:49
Former student claims she was sexually assaulted by a nun who taught ‘morals and religion.’ It’s alleged that the nun leapt on top of the student, telling her to “submit herself to God.”

Also, here’s a story about a boy who received a blowjob in class and claims that he had no legal duty to refuse.

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Date
20030528
Photoshopping
Time
09:54
Here’s a handy resource, rich in hummus: a large collection of WW2 posters (link lifted from Ultimate Insult).

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Date
20030528

Time
09:58
Finally, somebody dares to tell the truth: our planet is hollow. Here are details of the size and location of the polar openings. You can learn more about this – plus the location of the Garden of Eden, the origin of flying saucers and a proposal to journey to the centre – by downloading the $12 e-book.

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Date
20030528

Time
10:07
More Google paranoia:

“Google’s worldwide popularity also has led many who run Web sites to worry about becoming dependent on Google’s search result rankings to drive traffic to their sites. A businessperson’s livelihood can be based solely on a Google search results ranking.”

And that ranking, ladies and gentlemen, is decided by what you offer to the populace and how you offer it. Publish or perish. Do something positive and people will take notice – then Google will listen to those people and reward you accordingly.

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Date
20030528

Time
10:13
Internal email reveals New York Times’ main source of WMD info to be Ahmad Chalabi. Chalabi is rather close to Pentagon officials, and has tipped by some analysts as a possible successor to Saddam Hussein.

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Date
20030528

Time
10:24
OK, that’s it for a bit. Writing….

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Date
20030528
Huzzah!
Time
14:22
Well, how about that? I’ve won a Domukun Kettle in the Great Funjunkie White Goods Giveaway.

(Happy Birthday to FunJunkie, BTW. We’re talking two years of distraction here. Impressive stuff.)

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Date
20030528
Articles
Time
14:28
My latest article on SEO is up and ready to be read – at least an hour later than it should have been.

Hey, the sun was shining. That’s a pretty rare thing round these parts.

Anyway, feel free to read and enjoy: Hollywood Sites, Hollywood URLs

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Date
20030528
Civil Disobedience
Time
16:08
Hooray for the Space Hijackers, who feature heavily in a very nice article on Civil Disobedience in the latest (July) issue of Front magazine. (I’d include a link, but they’re not big on websites, these people…)

The ‘Out Of Order’ Project also rated a mention, and I even got a name-check. Pretty cool stuff.

Also, I’ve only now noticed that the project has (just) cracked the Top Ten for the Google search ‘out of order’. We do even better with the same search in Yahoo.

My, it is turning out to be an interesting day today.

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Date
20030528
The Political Weblog Movement
Time
22:19
Attention!

Your attention, please:

A significant advance has been made on the political weblog front. After a right royal run-around spanning many weeks, I finally got to talk to a real Person (and a bloody helpful one at that).

I’ll soon – finally – know what challenges we face from a technical standpoint. From here I can get on with creating the necessary demand (and dealing with the inevitable politics).

That’s where you come in.

Are you one of many Bloggerheads readers who live in the U.S.?

Your job between now and tomorrow morning (9am GMT) is to find the email/mailing address of the senator who represents you, and then email me to let me know that you’re standing by.

I’m not dicking you around here, people. Get to it. Now.

This is a very rare chance for you to have a significant effect on the political landscape.

UPDATE – I’m especially interested in hearing from folks in West Virginia. Emails from here in the UK to Robert C. Byrd appear to be bouncing.

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Date
20030529
Flash Music Video
Time
09:04
Heh. It doesn’t surprise me at all that The Old Grey Quirrel Whistle Test is made by a B3tan. This kind of thing always makes me smile.

JPEG Baby is still doing the rounds in foreign lands, but – just like poor old Robbie Williams – I’m yet to crack the American market. Perhaps someone will be kind enough to alert Howard Stern or Dr Demento

Total visits to date: 26,752

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Date
20030529

Time
09:10
Here are a bunch of American TV commercials from the 80′s. Very few of these made it to Australian TV, so thankfully we never got to hear from Annoying Encyclopedia Britannica Boy. I wonder where he is now…

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Date
20030529

Time
09:18
Bob Hope is 100 today. Like most Republicans, his deal with Satan includes exceptional longevity for as long as he can stand living like a zombie. A team of writers is standing by to provide those all-important famous last words.

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Date
20030529

Time
09:29
Big changes on the horizon for search engines. They’re going to be bigger, faster, stronger, smarter and prettier. Hopefully.

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Date
20030529

Time
09:34
The Lightbulb Museum has found a new home, but the Striptease Museum is strapped for cash. Looks to me like the local authorities are trying to squeeze the life out of it. A serious monetary injection is required – email Peter Stringfellow today and ask him to stuff a few dollar bills into their g-string.

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Date
20030529

Time
09:42
David Lee Roth says his shotgun speaks Martian and 81 other languages. Sadly, none of the voices are telling him that gun metal is ever so tasty.

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Date
20030529
For Those Who Came In Late…
Time
09:44
If you’re relatively new to the Interwebnet, I Love Bacon has a nice list of all-time classics today. Enjoy.

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Date
20030529

Time
09:51
McDonald’s sues food critic for £15.3million. He said their fries were ‘obscene and tasting of paper.’

A McDonald’s spokeman said:

“The fries that are said to taste of paper are thrown away within five minutes of being cooked if they have not been served and the oil is changed regularly.”

And this would be the same oil that you claimed for years was 100% meat-free? I think not, McDonald’s. Oh man, they are gonna lose so big.

You and I both know that the food critic speaks the truth. The moment those fries go from being red-hot to ice-cold (est. time: 52 seconds) they do actually start to taste like paper – and there’s no way that McDonald’s can guarantee that the five minute rule is applied without fail in every single restaurant. I’m estimating that this is ignored or neglected at least 20% of the time, if not more in a lot of city restaurants.

UPDATE – Meant to blog this yesterday: Read one man’s reaction to Fast Food Nation and the opposing views he found on the web. You really have to see consumerfreedom.com for yourself. Its sheer audacity will stagger you.

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Date
20030529
It’s War! And Somebody’s Going To Pay!
Time
10:05
Investigators have found evidence of weapons of mass destruction, including 100 vials of anthrax and other dangerous bacteria!

*ahem*

In Maryland.

You may also want to take the time to read this very long Fark thread that’s chock-full of wide-ranging reactions to the Guantanamo death camp story.

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Date
20030529
Yet Another Lame Quiz
Time
10:17
… well, two of them, actually. They also happen to be Riding High On Blogdex, but let’s stop screwing around with the headlines and just get to the links, OK?

The Geek Test

What Matrix Persona Are You?

I found one of the options in the latter quiz particularly appealing:

“Your personality is…

C) Gentle, with a harder side. Generally, you are harmless, but when provoked, hell is unleashed.”


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Date
20030529

Time
10:23
Remember, when you’re loading the dishwasher, spoons go up… and knives go down.

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Date
20030529

Time
10:25
Terrorism fear derails train-spotters. Truly, our very way of life is under threat.

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Date
20030529
The Political Weblog Movement
Time
10:42
I should find out what the deal is on the technical front sometime today (i.e. whether the servers at senate.gov can handle Movable Type or if we need to investigate another publishing format).

However, for this to go forward, there needs to be a visible demand for the technology. I need readers in the U.S. to be ready to contact their local senator, telling them why they – and you – need this.

Chris at TTR2 was kind enough to chip in with this page featuring contact details for all senators of the 108th Congress. Just pick your state and you’re ready to roll.

If you plan on getting involved, please get in touch and let me know that you’re standing by.

I’m doing my bit in this part of town. I’m lining up a content/design meeting with the next MP to go online with a weblog, and also making calls to a few MPs on my want list. Primary target today is Lembit Öpik.

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Date
20030530
The Political Weblog Movement
Time
08:48
Despite a very sincere promise of an immediate and direct response, there’s been no word yet. Again.

Are they really going to make me reach for the clue-by-four?

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Date
20030530

Time
08:50
Ah, that explains it. Tom Petty has actually been dead since 1996.

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Date
20030530

Time
08:52
Video games are good for you. Just for the record, there are no video games on my computer, but I am tempted to buy one of these for the den.

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Date
20030530

Time
08:54
Inside the secret world of Ronald McDonald. Considering the way the outfit is set up and what a wonderful world we live in, what do you think the chances are that at least one Ronald McDonald has been a kiddy-fiddler?

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Date
20030530

Time
08:59
Have I blogged mysterious alien rods before, or did I simply watch the documentary on TV and intend to before having my short-term memory wiped by a flying interdimensional doohickey passing through my hippocampus?

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Date
20030530

Time
09:04
Burglar steps in paint and leaves trail all the way back to motel hide-out.

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Date
20030530
Bring Down The Bush Regime
Time
09:07
Here’s a quick rundown of Operation Backpedal. Politicians wouldn’t lie to us about something as serious as this, would they? Yes, they would.

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Date
20030530

Time
09:13
New public smoking law threatens Dutch coffee shops. Let them eat cake.

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Date
20030530

Time
09:16
Romance comics from the 50′s and 60′s. (Yet another gem lifted from The Ultimate Insult.)

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Date
20030530

Time
09:18
It’s nice to see that Mike Tyson is mellowing with age.

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Date
20030530

Time
09:21
Senior students stack 600 desks from floor to ceiling. Fundraiser, protest or prank? Sorry, I’m going to make you click to find out.

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Date
20030530

Time
09:23
Recent reports that JFK was a coke-sniffing, intern-jumping nutbag were taken pretty calmly by the media. Maybe that’s why Clinton thinks the time is right for a comeback.

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Date
20030530
Star Wars Kid
Time
09:26
I made this short GIF yesterday, and a few others.

Then I stopped. For my sake, as well as your own.

BTW, it looks like Star Wars Kid is going to sue the folks that first posted his video on the Internet.

Now things get ugly.

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Date
20030530
The Political Weblog Movement
Time
15:08
I’ve got my answer from the technical bods at senate.gov, and it’s looking pretty damn positive. There is no real technical reason holding back the use of Movable Type or any similar publishing system at their servers. We do, however, have to get the Rules Committee to see that there is a genuine requirement for this service before it can be put in place.

To do this, there needs to be a request for this capacity from a number of Senate offices. Basically, we have to get at least three senators set on the idea.

Until now, it’s very much been a chicken and egg thing. But at least now we know that it is theoretically possible for the egg to make its way clear of the cloaca.

I’ll be mulling it over on the weekend but, despite this being a no-brainer in many ways, it’s not going to be easy to reach the right people with the right level of understanding.

If you live in the U.S. and are inclined to help us move forward, please do get in touch. I’d like to know what kind of immediate army we have to hand before I draw up a battle plan.

Cheers all.

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Date
20030531
Nigerian Spam
Time
08:19
Always with the fresh angle…

My latest copies of Nigerian Spam claim to be from one Pastor Joseph. This time the money belongs to a British national, ‘Bro Gideon Brown.’

Heh.

Worth reading again: Here’s one chap who scammed a spammer, and here’s another who took on a few of them.

The The Nigerian Spam Scam Contest also looks fun. This could very well develop into an Olympic sport or some kind. Or another Reality TV show.

02-15 May, 2003

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Date
20030502
Riding High on Blogdex
Time
09:27
Dante’s Inferno Test owns teh zone today, with the core URL and a number of results from the quiz hogging the top ten. The related server is doing its best to deal with the traffic, but your mileage may vary.

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Date
20030502

Time
09:30
Looks like someone’s out to shut down the Boycott Hollywood site. See what happens when you try to oppose a cash machine? (Sorry I’m in a mood today. More on this later.)

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Date
20030502

Time
09:33
“In November 2002, a telemarketer called my home in D.C. at 5:24 a.m. This is the story of how that call cost him $500.

A tale of sweet revenge that includes some great resources should you wish to take similar action.

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Date
20030502

Time
09:35
Why Blogs Haven’t Stormed the Business World.

Not sure if I agree entirely with this. I see the main problem to be overwhelming ignorance of most people in charge of marketing. Someone else build audience. Me buy media. Gain access to audience. Grog understand.

Heh. Petty? Moi?

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Date
20030502

Time
09:39
KFC is considering gassing their chickens. This way to the shower, ladies.

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Date
20030502

Time
09:41
Did you enjoy watching George Bush hitting his head on the door of the helicopter as much as I did?

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030502

Time
09:44
Editors of the New Oxford American Dictionary are considering a new entry for “Shut up!” in the next edition. Not the ‘be quiet’ version, but the ‘how interesting, do tell me more’ version.

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Date
20030502

Time
09:46
Slightly more than one of our sex offenders is missing.

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Date
20030502

Time
10:01
The photo report from the May Day protest will be completely complete in a few minutes. I’m coding like mad here, people.

I’m also as mad as hell after being grabbed by a cop and hurled inside the cordon for daring to mess with one of their favourite intimidation tactics.

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Date
20030502

Time
10:38
Here’s a nice shot of ‘patient policing’ and here’s a picture of a guy with an Out Of Order sticker on his forehead. One for the scrapbook. Please let me know of any other sightings. Right now it’s time to go and check the newspapers.

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Date
20030502

Time
11:28
The Guardian: ‘For the first time in years, all McDonald’s outlets stayed open throughout the day.’

Oh really?

BBC: ‘Police have criticised a minority of May Day protesters who they say attempted to wreak havoc in London amid peaceful demonstrations.’

I’d like to criticise the minority of police for goading many into violence.

And the final showdown?

The Independent: ‘Most of the 300-strong crowd initially gathered there were determined to make their protest peacefully.’

Damn right. And then call it a day afterwards.

I actually met one police officer who took great joy in telling the crowd – in all sincerity – that he and all the other officers had been provided with a SARS vaccine before coming out. Now what’s the point of making a statement like that?

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Date
20030502
Rebranding
Time
12:19
George Bush declares May 1st to be ‘Loyalty Day.’

Please excuse me while I throw up.

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Date
20030502

Time
12:20
It’s not the first application of its kind, but the design and execution on this one is wonderful:

The Weblog Fire Escape

Should develop into a nice little link-builder.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030502
Viral Marketing
Time
13:34
The Sun has decided to spread further confusion about this issue and benefit from other people’s work without credit or payment by launching their own ‘viral’ chart, which is even more dismal than the one at Lycos if you can believe it.

Remember folks, if it arrives by email; it’s yours free to do with as you please. So long as you give credit to the person who sent you the email, of course.

(By the way, for a small fee you too can be guaranteed inclusion at the Lycos chart, perhaps even on their list of featured items. How viral is that?)

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Date
20030502
Yet Another Lame Quiz
Time
14:37
Find your Star Wars twin.

‘Luke and Leia were seperated at birth; maybe you were too!’

Ho-ho. This is a looooong quiz, folks – but the results are quite comprehensive and put in a very interesting context that I won’t spoil for you here (expect to say that – in terms of agreeableness – I’m Emperor Palpatine and my sibling is Obi-Wan Kenobi).

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Date
20030504

Time
08:28
I don’t know what you folks are like with sleep, but I can function on 6 hours. 8 hours makes me feel dandy. 12 hours? Doesn’t happen often, but it happened last night. I may just take Monday off, after all.

Oh, thanks to Martin for the bloggage of the May Day stuff. Worth quoting:

“Now I’m still not convinced about the use of the Mayday protests, but Tim’s adventures in London have pretty much convinced me that the police are at least half the problem here. That’s not to say that there isn’t a hardcore minority determined to smash things, but there definitely is a peaceful majority and as this account makes clear the Police aren’t all that interested in them. Neither are the media.”

I’m not convinced of the effectiveness of these protests, either. They have a carefully-built reputation and close to zero coverage (until well after the fact, when ‘suspected anarchists’ are paraded by willing tabloids).

Some new ideas have occurred to me in the last few days, but I’m still mulling it over – and will probably need to do so for a few more weeks yet.

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Date
20030505
Tony Blair’s Email: Birthday Special
Time
09:01
Tony Blair turns 50 today, and while there was a fair whack of email urging him to grow up a month or so ago, there was only one email sent to tony-blair@prime-minister.co.uk this morning. That either shows that these pages are finally doing their job, or that very few people care.

I’m hoping it’s the former and not the latter.

If you would like to send birthday greetings to the PM, this email-to-facsimile address will transmit the body of your email message and spit it out on his fax machine.

Repeated below is the one email that arrived at the wrong address this morning – and the one email that I sent to the correct one.

Enjoy your bank holiday, folks.

—– Original Message —–

From: poor scientist

To: tony-blair@prime-minister.co.uk

Cc: president@whitehouse.gov

Sent: Monday, May 05, 2003 2:34 AM

Subject: Re spectfully addressed to Sir :

–> Re spectfully addressed to Sir :

–>

–> My name is : Mai Sy Xuan Lam

–> Sir ! I need help . I manufactured the money not fake . That is e-money

–> (electric- money) This e-money easy to use , secure , not filch . If

–> filch , filcher not use . because e-money have safe system . This safe

–> system include : you’re a picture , password , fingerprint flash system

–> and some number . Besides , e-money system have special a public money

–> transfering computer . when tranfered a money similar send a e-mail .

–> Because We use software of e-mail . But we would repair some structure .

–> e-money functions . example :

–> It is half one’s personal papers half money , etc … . When used

–> e-money : You won’t use paper money . Paper money easy fire , e-money

–> when fired or lost , We can buy other e-money . When bought new e-money

–> , We will say your old number card for a bank agent . Money which you

–> have of old account will transfer your new account . Your money won’t

–> lose . In case you bully , and after you rob . You can recover one’s

–> money who rob . And robber will engaol . You can use your e-money at

–> other country , you will tranfser monetary value . I need help from sir

–> . In 4 next day , if I pay not house employing , I and my mother will

–> become tramper . I like very researching . And I find out 40 biology

–> formular (gene finding formular), 10 integral formular . And I

–> discovered a new microscope from a (one) magnifier ,enlarge degree

–> changing equipment of magnifier . If I was a tramper , I can’t research

–> . And Sir can for me live on Sir’s country. I am Vietnamese . I am poor

–> very . Live at Viet Nam I can’t free researching . Let help me . and let

–> help my formulars .

[address snipped]

–> If can , let Sir write vietnamese . Thank Sir ,Goodbye .

From: Tim Ireland

To: Tony Blair’s email-to-facsimile address

Sent: Monday, May 05, 2003 8:58 AM

Subject: Happy Birthday

Dear Tony,

My parents taught me to respect my elders. Right now that’s about all you’ve got going for you.

Happy birthday.

Tim Ireland

www.bloggerheads.com

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Date
20030505
Can Weblogs…?
Time
20:21
I have some fabulous ideas for distributing one very important message in particular, plus some legally-entitled mischief we can all get on with to bring at least one media mogul down a peg or two.

Normal bloggage will continue tomorrow. There’s still some thinking to do.

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Date
20030506

Time
08:43
I’ve finally got a few extra minutes available, so I’m going to download and trial Spamnet, the community-driven spam filter from Cloudmark. I’ll let you know how I get on.

(Found via Countersink.)

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Date
20030506

Time
08:51
Lots of fun stuff over at Headwindow today. In fact, too much to list here. So go there.

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Date
20030506

Time
08:53
References to this will end up chasing Bonsai Kitten everywhere it goes, if there’s any justice. I can taste the outrage from here.

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Date
20030506

Time
08:57
I want to see Rubber Boy meet The Lizardman live on stage. Why? Because it’s sure to spice up the world’s weakest ‘extreme’ stunt.

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Date
20030506
Christianity Watch
Time
09:02
A fabulous profile of Jack Chick.

Found via The Ultimate Insult, who found it via LinkMachineGo, who found it via BoingBoing. It probably also appeared at Fark about a thousand times, so I’ll reign in the credit links at that and be done with it.

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Date
20030506

Time
09:13
Every manned Russian spacecraft since 1976 had carried a sawn-off shotgun on board. True or false?

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Date
20030506
Riding High on Blogdex
Time
09:16
Bill Bennet has been a bad boy. Who?

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Date
20030506

Time
09:22
One of our missing planes in missing.

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Date
20030506

Time
09:23
Melbourne’s Swinburne University