Tim Ireland

Tim Ireland

Tim is the sole author of Bloggerheads.

Home page: http://www.bloggerheads.com/

Posts by Tim Ireland

16-30 September, 2003

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Date
20030916
The Californian Recall
Time
08:54
Aww, poor widdle Arnie won’t get to go redistwicting… and it’s all down to the unreliability of the punch-card system that allowed The Unworthy One into office. There’s a mighty fine online interview with Washington Post Los Angeles Bureau Chief William Booth here. Enjoy.

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Date
20030916
11/9 (please note correct formatting of date)
Time
09:00
John & Mirjam sent in this wonderful Sept. 11th memorial. There was also a cool Arnold Schwarzenegger clip but, happily, this has now become rather dated and unnecessary.

Also, read about the truck driver who closed down eight miles of interstate highway with a ‘flip remark’ about explosives in his load.

UPDATE – Yet another juicy conspiracy theory for you and news that – surprise, surprise – recent anti-terrorism laws in the U.S. are increasingly being use to fight common criminals.

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Date
20030916
It’s War! And Somebody’s Telling Porkies!
Time
09:13
Hanging Day presents a few words from the troops. Also, The Guardian reveals that quite a few more troops have been injured in Iraq than the administration/military has let on.

Christiane Amanpour, CNN’s top war correspondent, has said that the press muzzled itself during the Iraq war as a result of intimidation by the Bush administration ‘a climate of fear and self-censorship’ kept alive by Rupert ‘The Evil One’ Murdoch’s Fox News flunkies.

Meanwhile, China is sending armed forces to ‘monitor’ the North Korean border. It’s a ‘routine adjustment,’ so relax.

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Date
20030916

Time
09:22
Family left homeless after demolition crew takes right/wrong turn.

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Date
20030916

Time
09:24
You don’t have to agree with all of it, but you should read it: Ian Buruma on the Bush regime. It’s a long article. Save it for lunch and have a good chew.

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Date
20030916

Time
09:26
Sorry, it’s turning out to be a terribly political morning. Exit quietly and go hang gliding if you feel you need a break. (Link nabbed from FunJunkie.)

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Date
20030916
Anyone but George
Time
09:29
Bruce Springsteen tells concertgoers: “It’s time to impeach the president and get a man in there to get us out of this mess!”

Also, here’s some material to help you spread dissent. The Orwellian triptych in particular is inspired.

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Date
20030916
Christianity Watch
Time
09:37
Parents whose infant daughter died of meningitis after they treated her with prayer instead of medicine are charged with child abuse and involuntary manslaughter.

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Date
20030916

Time
09:39
Industrial rock band Hell On Earth are to feature a live suicide at their Oct 4th performance. It’s to raise awareness for ‘dying with dignity’…

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Date
20030916

Time
09:42
OK, let’s break for some serious news: Gloria Estefan doesn’t think much of David Blaine’s nappies.

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Date
20030916

Time
09:43
No matter where I turn this morning… the Bush administration has decided that all Canadians travelling to the United States should carry a passport. Papers! Papers, please!

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Date
20030916

Time
09:45
Font Browser lets you see what fonts are installed and active on your system. Useful for anybody unable to find the Control Panel, I suppose.

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Date
20030916
The Political Weblog Movement
Time
09:47
Meet Douglas Alexander. He’ll be playing an important role in Labour’s election campaign, dontcha know?

In this article, he references Howard Dean and certain new technologies, before going on to say:

Above all Labour’s next campaign will have a back to the future edge: there will be an emphasis on local campaigning – “a move from a mass campaign to a personal campaign”. Mr Alexander believes that “local sources of information are far more trusted, so that mums at the school gate, or a workmate at the workplace has far more credibility than some of the traditional forms of media”.

Now, I wonder what he could be talking about there?

Your mission today, should you choose to accept it, is to get in touch with Mr Alexander and warn him how easy it is to stuff these things up.

You may also want to warn him that the time for action is now, and not a few months before the election.

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Date
20030916
Can Weblogs…? – Baring Your Bum at Bush
Time
12:45
German pole vaulter Tim Lobinger faces a US$5,000 fine after dropping his shorts in protest at a decision by the judges during the World Athletics final in Monaco at the weekend. Not as serious as it sounds; it’s being docked from his winnings – and Monaco’s Royal Family got a proper eyeful, which is nice.

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Date
20030916
Photoshopping
Time
13:45
No prizes for guessing who’s on my mind today.

“This will take time and require sacrifice…anybody got a problem with that…?”

UPDATE – Marcus has kindly emailed in to let us know that the Sunday Herald article is enjoying extended coverage courtesy of Indymedia.

I’m still looking for a flash developer to do a show for the campaign song, BTW. Pop your hand up if you have some free time this week.

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Date
20030916
Anyone but George
Time
16:34
Off On a Tangent has led me to some excellent information that you may wish to share with less enlightened friends.

This is a welcome return to form from the recently rant-prone Michael Moore (whose site-based forum mysteriously disappeared just before the war, and has yet to re-appear). Looks like he’s switched to de-caf.

That Ladies Home Journal interview looks to be a classic, but the content Michael Moore references does not appear in the excerpt presented on the LHJ website. I’d be willing to pay someone to send me a hard copy, just for my own reference (and peace of mind) so do get in touch if you’re in a position to help out.

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Date
20030916

Time
17:27
Man arrested after cutting cables leading from David Blaine’s box. That’s cable’s coming from the box, not cables holding it up. Still no need to get excited, folks.

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Date
20030917
Weblog Marketing
Time
09:53
Oh dear God, this is pathetic. Some loser has decided to effectively spam Blogdex and other blog aggregators by opening up multiple blogs that all link to a central ‘sell’ blog.

The central spamblog is located here, and is chock-full of affiliate toss.

Inbound linkage, apart from one link at Everything I Read who, along with Evil Pundit of Doom, was one of the first to rumble this guy, comes from the following Blogger weblogs, and has resulted in a 7th-place listing at Blogdex:

henryimbriaconashville.blogspot.com

ironhanksview.blogspot.com

henry-imbriaco.blogspot.com

henryimbriacohealth.blogspot.com

totechsol.blogspot.com

henryimbriacorealestate.blogspot.com

totechsol.blogspot.com

henryimbriacocomedy.blogspot.com

henryimbriacohealth.blogspot.com

henryimbriacomovies.blogspot.com

henryimbriaconashville.blogspot.com

A quick search for Henry Imbriaco revealed a number of other weblogs started by this same individual, and a Technorati lookup on the spamblog shows not only a bunch of other blogs not picked up by Blogdex, but also a trail that leads right back to what appears to be his central weblog (no, he doesn’t work for Budweiser, that address stems from this free email service).

The man is quite obviously a genius of the highest order, so you may wish to also read his thoughts on marketing at his ecademy.com profile.

Apart from a few automated instances (say, when Tripod closed down ‘dead’ sites registered with Blogdex and placed the same commercial partnership link at each of them) this appears to be the first marketing wankage of its kind, and as such it needs a name.

I’ve decided to christen this lame stunt a Barney Gumble, after this great man’s highly convincing multi-personality turn in The Simpsons (Episode 2F21 – The Springfield Connection), where our hero, Homer, Moe, Carl and Lenny are sitting around playing poker. Barney, concerned about the beer supply, uses a cunning ploy to send Homer to his carhole to fetch more Duff:

Barney: Hey Homer, I’m worried about the beer supply. After this case, and the other case, there’s only one case left!

(Barney hides his mouth behind his beer can and begins to throw his voice)

Yeah, yeah! Uh, Barney’s right.

Yeah, let’s drink some more beer.

Yeah!

Hey, what about some beer?

Yeah, Barney’s right.

Genius. Sheer (if somewhat adulterated) genius.

And, speaking of which, there is an old adage about great discoveries being made at the same time by scientists who are working independently, and – lo and behold – there is yet another genius is at work on the Movable Type front, running a series of ‘personal’ weblogs that are merely fronts for porn sites.

This trail starts at the decidedly NSFW trickytarts.com and leads to a number of other ‘tricky’ blogs on different themes ranging from attractive soccer moms to ladies with (ahem) extra equipment.

I wouldn’t go following that trail, BTW. It’s not at all safe for viewing at work and will only depress you in the end. Suffice it to say that it exists, and the effort is a load of crotchless pants.

(Note – as I still dwell in the dark ages of blogging and have no permalinks, chums and chumettes of Bloggerheads with more advanced blogs may feel free to repeat this post in its entirety for reference purposes.)

UPDATE – Rich from FunJunkie informs me that trickytarts.com have hit their site with referral spam in the recent past. Doesn’t surprise me at all.

UPDATE II – The discussion about this post at ecademy is bound to be interesting. As with the Raging Cow debate, I’m sure someone, somewhere is right now carefully examining my pot for telltale signs of blackness.

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Date
20030917

Time
10:03
Yesterday was a great day in politics and today appears to be an equally impressive day in the history of online marketing.

Verisign have, in their infinite wisdom, decided that when you type an incorrect URL you should, instead of receiving an error message, receive a message from their chosen advertiser.

The implications of this crass move are explained clearly at Slashdot and The Register.

UPDATE – No, wait! There does appear to be some hope after all! Martin Lloyd has completed his MBA and he’s sure to come out kicking. After he’s finished bumming around Amsterdam for two weeks, that is.

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Date
20030917
Anyone but George
Time
10:39
I spent a bit of time last night pondering the growing unrest in the U.S. and wondered what specific move – if any – would be enough to start a significant groundswell against the Bush regime.

Then I woke up this morning and found a surge in popularity for new sites like amiserablefailure.com, nobodydied.com and misleader.org

It appears that the moment involved, as you would expect, a sudden and unexpected shock to the wallet. It’s just taken folks a few days to get their hosting sorted.

Adding to the increasingly loud whispers are John Burns’ account of media control in Iraq before, during and after the war and the rather unfortunately named Col. David H. Hackworth’s thoughts on persistent lies about the Saddam/WTC connection. Even Donald Rumsfled has let slip that the connection is a load of old cobblers.

(UPDATE – Alternet has more on this. It’s a good read, and references the welcome awakening.)

You know what I want? I want this realisation to grow. I want Bush forcibly removed from office by any fair and legal means possible.

And, you’ll pardon me for saying so, but I think Tony Blair deserves a public arse-kicking as well.

Be warned that this will be no easy affair. Opponents of Bush and Blair will be ruthlessly attacked by the Murdoch media empire and the use of misdirection and misinformation will ascend to dizzier and dizzier levels.

The resulting power vacuum on both sides of the Atlantic will be messy, but it’s too late to simply put the ‘French’ back into fries. Just look at the mess this team has led us into and have a quiet think about how much worse it can get if left uncorrected.

Regime change begins at home. Let’s show them how to do it without needless bloodshed.

And bottoms. Lots and lots of bottoms.

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Date
20030917

Time
10:48
I first saw mention of AngleGrinder Man a few days ago, and must admit to yawning more than once. I seriously didn’t think it was blogworthy, but the media are eating it up. Well, it does provide readers with a heady dose of rebellion. In an entirely non-political way, of course.

Hm. Maybe it’s time that I switched to de-caf.

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Date
20030917

Time
10:56
This is a fine gallery of old magician’s posters. In fact, it gives me a fine idea for a B3ta challenge, which I’ll suggest later today. (Link via The Ultimate Insult.)

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Date
20030917
Follow Up
Time
10:59
Petition makes print: will Star Wars Kid get a Star Wars role?

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Date
20030917

Time
11:00
What are the worst jobs in science? Smelling other people’s farts is at No. 1

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Date
20030917

Time
11:02
Smokers of Canada’s government-approved marijuana say it’s ‘disgusting’ and want their money back.

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Date
20030917
Flash Thingies
Time
11:04
Spot the difference. (Slighty NSFW.)

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Date
20030917

Time
11:05
Ahahahahahaha! Crank caller phones RIAA amnesty line to ‘surrender’.

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Date
20030917
Can Weblogs…? – Baring Your Bum at Bush
Time
11:06
Whispers reach me that the Bare Your Bum at Bush campaign has rated a mention in The Independent (it’s in Pandora, so no link is available, I’m sorry). It tries to tie the campaign to Richard Allan and Tom Watson, which is a bit cheeky.

For the record… these are the actions of a slightly imbalanced man working independently.

Well, not entirely independently. Here’s a handy list of nice people who have supported the campaign with linkage.

Incidentally, it was Pandora that first went to print with news of the hoax address for Tony Blair way back in 2001, and it was on this day last year that I first got the idea for the Tony Blair Email campaign.

Oh, and remember that Sun article that got my daily stats ass-backwards? Turns out it was quite prophetic. The number of individual daily visitors to Bloggerheads has, in the last two weeks, leaped from 1500 a day to over 15,000. On average, the server is now feeding a hungry populace 430Mb of data per day. Per day.

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Date
20030917
Riding High on Blogdex
Time
12:57
CalPundit has done a damn fine interview with Paul Krugman. This is today’s must-read.

Outright lies from the Bush regime about the economy and the war, and not your usual lies, either – but downright scary 2+2=5 stuff. Toward the end, Krugman predicts a drastic change.

Scan down below the article and check out the comments (if you dare), and have a look at what other people are saying about this on their own weblogs.

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Date
20030917
It’s War! And Somebody’s Telling Porkies!
Time
13:53
How did I miss this? Britain and America have decided to delay indefinitely the publication of a full report on Iraq’s weapons of mass destruction after inspectors found no evidence that any such weapons exist.

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Date
20030917
Bunch of Stuff
Time
17:01
Sing this to the tune of She’ll Be Coming Round The Mountain, but do be careful… you could be infringing copyright.

After you’ve finished ogling women in spacesuits, you’ll want to take a peek at SomethingAwful’s collection of alternative iPod ads and if you’re into coding and love Google, then Google is interested in loving you back (but do make sure that you fill out the right forms first).

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Date
20030918

Time
09:20
Man buys cookie jar from long-lost-brother on eBay.

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Date
20030918

Time
09:21
“If you are young man or a first time buyer of expensive jewelry, this website may seem long-winded.” No! Really?

Spend some time getting to know Capetown Diamond’s founder and chairman, Carl Kenneth Marcus and buy a watch, dammit!

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Date
20030918

Time
09:23
Huzzah! The winners have been announced for the Anti-Terrorism License Plate Contest! (Link via TTR2.)

That’s some mighty effective proper-gander the kids have come up with there. Should keep the terrorists at bay for years (but if you’re still feeling nervous, feel free to back your number-plate up with a Baby on Board sign – and maybe a stick-on Garfield with an AK-47).

Here’s a slightly chummier contest for kids in the UK:

Win the chance to be the speaking clock!

I heard about this on Radio 2 yesterday when they interviewed the chap who has been the voice of the speaking clock for the last 18 years – and was quite tickled to learn that he’s the same guy who did the ‘Stand by for action! 5, 4, 3, 2, 1…’ intro that began every Thunderbirds episode.

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Date
20030918
Riding High on Blogdex
Time
09:35
The Gospel of Supply Side Jesus

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Date
20030918

Time
09:37
Fellas, check your trousers. Is anything missing?

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Date
20030918

Time
09:39
Kansas senator Sam Brownback introduced legislation on Tuesday that could prove a real headache for the RIAA. Let’s hear it for due process!

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Date
20030918

Time
09:42
Meet the monster-sized marsupial that’s a distant relation of koalas and wombats. And people still don’t believe in Dropbears…?

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Date
20030918

Time
09:47
Competition and spectator tickets are now on sale for the 2003 Rock Paper Scissors International World Championships! (Cheers, Funjunkie.)

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Date
20030918

Time
09:50
Well, how about that? Monkeys covet.

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Date
20030918

Time
09:52
If you’re setting out on a journey to fight evil today, you may need this map. Alternatively, why not take your dog for a walk so he can leave a little present outside the White House?

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Date
20030918
Anyone but George
Time
10:13
A lot of positive noise around yesterday about Wesley Clark’s announcement that he was joining the presidential race. His official site is here and charting quite well on Blogdex this morning.

Me, I don’t know the man from Adam, but I did poke around a bit and found this report on the man damn near starting WWIII. Perhaps he was having a bad day. And perhaps you may wish to Vote Hamster instead.

OK, maybe I’m being a little unfair. Bush is leading the polls, after all. Despite being a liar and despot. Media control is everything, baby!

America needs a leader to take this next election by the balls. If there isn’t one strong point of focus, Bush could get Nadered right back in again.

Still, why wait? Steve sent me the following link that you may wish to act on:

Sign the petition to move for impeachment.

Not just Bush, but also his willing partner in crime, Dick Cheney.

Best news this morning? The awakening over the last few days has actually has an effect:

President Bush admits that there was no evidence that former Iraqi President Saddam Hussein was involved in the Sept. 11th terrorist attacks. Erm, but in the same breath, he’s denying that this false connection was used to justify war.

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Date
20030918

Time
10:15
Burp!

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Date
20030918

Time
11:01
Hooray for Ruben Pla, one of the finest actors of our generation. You doubt me? Pshaw! Just look at his range!

I don’t suppose anybody know where I can find the remarkable Internet serial Cosmic Fury? I’d love to see it.

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Date
20030918

Time
12:08
Tomorrow be International Talk Like a Pirate Day. Prepare your office for action with this PDF poster and brush up on your pirate-speak with this handy guide.

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Date
20030918
Photoshopping
Time
16:44

Woof!

Oh, and you’ll love this pirated image from over at B3ta. You’ll laugh like a loon, says I.

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Date
20030918

Time
16:52
I’ve just put my application in for the 2004 Onians Fellowship. If you think you have something new to offer the business world, you have just over a week to flesh out your brilliant idea (in less than 500 words) and get your form in.

Do it now. Tomorrow you’ll be too busy talking like a pirate.

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Date
20030918

Time
17:02
Bloody hell. Just look at the size of Hurricane Isabel!

Some more pictures from Yahoo of fun and games at ground level can be found here.

Good luck everyone in range of the storm whose power hasn’t been cut yet. It’s probably a bit late to break out the duct tape, but at least try to be careful.

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Date
20030918
Can Weblogs…? – Baring Your Bum at Bush
Time
17:28
Heh. Check out Richard Allan’s reaction to being unfairly linked to the Bare Your Bum at Bush campaign by The Independent. (Found via Tom, who is more restrained but just as understanding about the whole thing…)

Oh, and I’ve cracked the language barrier again. Hungarian this time. That’s a first, as far as I can recall. I don’t suppose anyone would care to translate?

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Date
20030919

Time
10:03
Arrr, Pri’ate Eye be clutchin’ at straws as part o’ a petty campaign against t’Guardian.

This keelhaulin’ began after Paul Carr’s art’cl about their missin’ the point o’ Tom Watson’s Teens page.

Ya-harr, t’Guardian reports on t’Interwebnet more than any other UK newspaper, and that be the truth.

Anybody who knows anythin’ about t’Interwebnet knows what a major force Google be. If ye report on t’Interwebnet, ye’ll end up spendin’ a lot o’ time talkin’ about Google – as t’Guardian has (and not always in a positi’e manner, me hearties).

And if we’re goin’ t’ talk about ad’ertisin’ placement, let’s be lookin’ at this same issue o’ Pri’ate Eye which be carryin’ a full-page ad for a new ser’ice from BT/Yahoo. As any daft son o’a sea biscuit knows, Yahoo be the nearest thin’ Google has t’ a serious competitor, and they’re settin’ themsel’es up t’ be in a much stronger position t’ compete.

How nice o’ Lord Gnome t’ take their filthy lucre and hang the enemy from the yardarm t’ aid their cause.

Not that Yahoo be the only benefactor.

Pri’ate Eye also takes time t’ print paid ad’ertisements for sites such as the eye-rection-boostin’ www.generic-viagras.com, Herbalife privateer www.iwantmorethanthis.com and toss-title pro’ider www.elitetitles.co.uk

Perhaps t’Guardian carries many ads for Google a’cos they don’t be ha’in’ as much choice as the come-one-come-all Eye.

This one be takin’ the sea-biscuit, and no mistake!

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Date
20030919

Time
10:09
Yarrr, two men have been found guilty by her Majesty’s court o’ casting fake doubloons (and doubloon be spel’t with only one ‘l’).

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Date
20030919

Time
10:11
Thar be nothin’ I fear on land, be it man or beast, but the ungodly creatures o’ the deep still make me shiver with feare.

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Date
20030919
Ridin’ High on Blogdex
Time
10:13
Avast! I be wantin’ me own paragraph in t’future o’ blogging.

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Date
20030919

Time
10:19
Unworthy cur subjects sea-dog to semen. It be a crime against nature.

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Date
20030919

Time
10:21
Ah-har, ah-har, ah-har-har-har! ‘Lord’ Archer be a lord no more!

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Date
20030919

Time
10:22
Thar be unhealthy stirrin’ in the East, as Saudi Arabia arms with the ultimate cannon.

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Date
20030919

Time
10:41
They be stealin’ our words! This calls for mutiny, m’lads!

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Date
20030919
Photoshoppin’
Time
10:42
Ah-harr, Bush be playin’ dress-up again!

Ye can be seein’ a larger version over the dateline at B3ta.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030919

Time
10:57
Yarrr! Ah-harr! It be International Talk Like a Pirate Day today!

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Date
20030919

Time
12:13
New virus ahoy!

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030919

Time
12:49
Avast, ye swabs! Ye be nowhere today without the Random Pirate Insult Generator. Ye’ll be needin’ it to fend off the lily-livered landlubbers questioning yer rightful pirate status.

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Date
20030919
Spam’n
Time
13:13
Arrrrrr, it now be a criminal offence to spam in the UK, but this new law of the land only covers yer personal address, mates. (Yarrr, it blows….)

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030919
Photoshoppin’
Time
13:17
Ah-harrr! I be front-paged over at B3ta with this treasured masterpiece.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030919

Time
13:23
Versign be softenin’ their partnership page to include other domains ye be seekin’. Here be an example.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030922
Anyone but George
Time
09:25
Justin (whose site appears to be down this morning) was kind enough to email me on Friday with an image alert.

This familiar image appears in a double page spread of the current issue of New Statesman.

If you’d care to pick up a copy (or subscribe online) there’s also a grand article by Mark Thomas on the recent arms fair protests and use of anti-terrorist laws to curtail the legal right to peaceful protest.

I found this article in Saturday’s Independent to be extremely heartening. It seems the military community is joining the awakening. The Guardian also reports a 14-point fall in overall approval ratings for The Unworthy One.

The Nation also predicts a gloomy future for Bush in light of the quite savage by-election backlash here in Brent-East.

Goodbye, George. I can’t say it’s been a pleasure knowing you, but it sure has been interesting.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030922

Time
09:38
Owning a cat may increase your chances of becoming schizophrenic or manic depressive. If you’re in any doubt about the ownership of a cat leading to significant mental problems, I’d like to present the following additional proof.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030922

Time
09:42
Men holding Bible class capture murder suspect who interrupted a discussion on biblical prophecies. Bet nobody saw that coming.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030922

Time
09:46
Finally someone gets the point. It’s not that Londoners are hostile, it’s just that we fail to see the point of David Blaine’s little box stunt.

OK, so maybe we’re a little bit hostile

(Latter link via Rogi, who’s made a welcome return to regular bloggage.)

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030922
A Blog Is Born
Time
09:53
The Soulrage Project is a quest to take over the world, inspired by the blog you see before you. Perhaps the early stages of world conquest can include getting my name right….?

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Date
20030922
Does What It Says On The Tin
Time
09:56
They’re cold and impersonal, but unlikely to press charges. Find out more at statuemolesters.com

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030922

Time
09:58
U.S. soldier shoots a rare Bengal tiger at Baghdad zoo. They turned up in ‘casual dress’, drinking beer. After closing time. They broke into a protective cage to get closer so they could try and feed the tiger. The tiger bit and clawed the idiot trying to feed it. So one of the soldiers shot the animal dead. Nice.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030922
The Political Weblog Movement
Time
10:03
Huzzah! Tobias Ph. E. Romer is on the case in Switzerland.

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Date
20030922

Time
10:05
I tried to track down the full online version of this Saddam in secret negotiations with the US story at The Mirror, but all I found out was that Mariah Carey is single and desperate.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030922

Time
10:32
U.N. compound hit in second car bomb attack. This follows an attempt on Akila Al-Hashimi’s life on Saturday.

Stability appears to present a problem to someone’s agenda.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030922

Time
10:43
For those who missed the alert on Friday (there’s at least one of you): The Swen virus masquerades as a new Microsoft patch – find out how to avoid it, and what to do in the case of infection.

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Date
20030922

Time
10:50
David Blunkett doesn’t have a bloody clue how many illegal immigrants are in the country and seems to think that curtailing the civil liberties of law-abiding citizens is the solution (via Ionica).

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030923
Doing The Rounds
Time
10:05
Beware the dreaded lurgy,

It will take you from behind;

It will drip-drip-drip your sinuses,

And swiftly fog your mind.

The screen! The screen!

It hurts my eyes,

This rotten little bug;

Bed rest! Bed rest!

And chicken soup,

And lots and lots of drugs.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030924

Time
09:24
William Blair is hot. David Blaine is not.

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Date
20030924

Time
09:25
Parents seek to ban Aldous Huxley’s Brave New World and Robert Heinlein’s Stranger in a Strange Land. The claim is that they may lead to ‘inappropriate sexual arousal of young teens’.

Incidentally, this week is Banned Books Week. The list of The 100 Most Frequently Challenged Books of 1990–2000 makes for interesting reading.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030924
Riding High on Blogdex
Time
09:32
Search Google by location. If that location is in the U.S.

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Date
20030924
Does What It Says On The Tin
Time
09:33
Bring life back into the old soldier with zombiepinups.com (link via TTR2).

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Date
20030924
The Californian Recall
Time
09:35
Court rules that recall can go ahead in October. Oh well. At least we shut Arnie up for a couple of weeks.

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Date
20030924

Time
09:36
Mother throws baby out window (minus bathwater). She claims it jumped.

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Date
20030924
Rupert ‘The Evil One’ Murdoch
Time
09:37
You know the Lib-Dems have made it when The Sun gets this desperate.

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Date
20030924

Time
09:40
Tasteless website probed by police for humiliating the homeless. They claim they can’t do much, as the site has now closed down. Have they checked the archive?

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Date
20030924

Time
09:43
Hungarians have more sex than anyone and Australia is the gayest country in the world. The same survey claims that Australians were twice as likely to fake their orgasms. How does that work, then?

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Date
20030924

Time
09:46
Army admits using personal passenger data provided by Jet Blue. A group of passengers have already sued the airline.

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Date
20030924

Time
09:50
U.S. Army plays nice: Send toys to Iraqi children. No guns, please.

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Date
20030924
Can Weblogs…? – Baring Your Bum at Bush
Time
10:30
This looks like the news we’ve been waiting for folks: Buckingham Palace is due to announce details of George W Bush’s visit to the UK within a week.

The article claims that Bush will receive ‘a full ceremonial welcome’… too bloody right!

If you want to keep an eye out for this impending press release, then this is the page to watch.

Thanks to the Martyn Traynor, we also have a link to this Ananova article, which ties the impending announcement to plans being made by the Stop the War Coalition.

UPDATE – The mass mooning may very well take place outside the palace. Does anyone know what kind of view the Belgian Suite provides? Also, if Bush is addressing both Houses of Parliament, then our chances of getting a bum inside are greatly increased. Somewhere out there is a Lord or MP willing to make the ultimate political statement. Nominations gratefully accepted.

I watched George W Bush’s address to the U.N. live yesterday afternoon. More of the same old lies, dressed up with a few new weapons of mass distraction, including the ever-trusty back-up plea for us to pleeeease think about the children.

I actually choked on my Lemsip when he claimed that he and his cronies had acted ‘to defend the peace, and the credibility of the United Nations’.

If he really believes that, then we are in trouble.

Daily Kos has some thoughts on this speech, and on the subsequent interview on Rupert ‘The Evil One’ Murdoch’s FOX News network.

I’m sure it won’t surprise you to learn that Bush protects his feeble little brain from the turmoil of the outside world, rarely reading actual news and instead scanning the headlines and trusting entirely in his advisors (the clever chaps who’ve decided that Friday is the best day to release bad news).

Hmm, perhaps then the secret to reaching The Unworthy One is putting the story in the headline. Here’s a good one to start with:

Poll: Bush down, Clark up

Don’t plan on the election saving you, BTW. Bush already has a plan to sort out those pesky percentages.

I know it’s getting chilly, folks – but you should be preparing yourself to bare those buttocks and send Dubya a message that’s crystal-clear (and doesn’t contain any long or difficult words).

Note – Today’s image comes to you courtesy of One-Term President. Download and display a copy for yourself today.

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Date
20030924
Rupert ‘The Evil One’ Murdoch
Time
13:22
Tuesday: The Sun calls Frank Bruno ‘bonkers’ and is forced to make humiliating climbdown.

Wednesday: The Sun makes a donation to charidee by way of apology… and makes a Happy Meal of it that – sadly – many of their readers will swallow.

1. Asking readers to chip in to boost their donation. And the whole country’s behind them, folks!

2. Columnist Jane Moore (longtime servant of The Evil One) asks you to pray for Frank. It’s a ‘cautionary tale of modern times’…

3. “No one loves Frank Bruno more than The Sun. We’ve been by his side throughout his career, sharing his triumphs and helping shoulder his tragedies…” Which, presumably, is why they were kind enough to print the retraction that appears in the archive results today under to the original story and the longer, fluffier one.

What a bunch of shameless hypocrites!

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Date
20030925
Anyone but George
Time
09:20
“(Saddam) has not developed any significant capability with respect to weapons of mass destruction. He is unable to project conventional power against his neighbors.”

Secretary Colin L. Powell in Cairo, Egypt on February 24, 2001

Well, waddya know? He was right!

A CIA-led team of 1,400 weapons experts and support staff, and all they found was a few suspiciously clean bunsen burners.

But George W Bush is still using this old chestnut while telling the UN to drop dead.

Well, he didn’t actually say ‘drop dead,’ but according to reports, Wesley Clark did take the time to say ”Limbaugh’s full of shit.”

A few opening barbs have been sent Wesley Clark’s way, BTW. He appears to have dealt with them like an actual human being.

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Date
20030925

Time
09:22
Behold the winner of The Most Phallic Building of the World competition. London’s lovable Gherkin took the ‘Best Uncircumcised Building’ award.

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Date
20030925

Time
09:26
I didn’t comment on MSN closing down their chat rooms yesterday, as I don’t use chat rooms much and didn’t feel qualified to comment – but I do know an overreaction when I see one. Check out this screengrab from The Mirror’s most recent online poll.

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Date
20030925

Time
09:29
Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey (via TTR2, who are spot on about it being addictive).

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Date
20030925
Does What It Says On The Tin
Time
09:31
Shed a sympathetic tear at oldmencrying.com

Also, you may wish to spare a thought for the lost soul at single-male.com

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Date
20030925

Time
09:32
Bomb squad called in to dispose of box of candy. A local church youth group left it in place as a ‘random act of kindness’…

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Date
20030925
My Son Calls Them ‘Evil Corporations’
Time
09:34
What money wants, money gets: a federal court has blocked the U.S. national ‘do not call’ list days before it was due to come into effect. You’ll want to come out fighting this one…

In other news, the RIAA has dropped its lawsuit against a 66-year-old grandmother who was supposed to have downloaded and shared over 2000 songs online. Including the rap song I’m a Thug. On her Macintosh computer, which is unable to run Kazaa.

The RIAA has called this a ‘gesture of good faith’ but in truth it’s a clear case of mistaken identity and they simply don’t have a case. You and I know that if they had the goods on this granny, they would sue her without hesitation.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030925

Time
09:42
Your trusty guide to mathematics in The Simpsons.

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Date
20030925

Time
09:44
Wind Power Is Now Cheaper than Coal in the U.S.

Damn it, I want my windmill!

In other news, the statement from the biotech mouthpiece claiming that the results of the GM debate were flawed because 99.9% of the population did not take part made me chuckle.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030925

Time
09:55
eBay thief reveals tricks of the trade. He claims that many ‘customers’ are too scared to question his credenditials.

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Date
20030925
Anyone but George
Time
09:57
Following up on yesterday’s Salon article:

Claims that electronic voting is unreliable, unverifiable and funded by the radical Christian right.

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Date
20030925

Time
10:03
Bomb pranksters arrested. It sure was nice of them to videotape their antics for future reference.

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Date
20030925

Time
12:05
!

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Date
20030925
Rupert ‘The Evil One’ Murdoch
Time
12:31
The Sun Says: Our Armed Forces put their lives on the line to drive out Saddam Hussein. They still risk their necks each day to keep the peace and make Iraq a safer place. But what do that small-minded bunch of windbags known as the Lib Dems do? They carp that the war may not have been legal and that Britain may have been wrong to join the Americans in deposing Saddam. What an insult to the courage of Our Boys and Girls, many of whom died for the cause of freedom.

Sorry to interrupt your Lib-Dem bashing, Rebekah… but if the war was illegal, then they didn’t die for the cause of freedom, now did they? They died needlessly. You jumped-up, dried-up old ginger tosser.

UPDATE – Hm. That last comment was a tad harsh. An apology is in order. To ginger folks everywhere… I’m sorry to connect you in any way to Rebekah Wade. The jumped-up, dried-up old xxxxxx tosser.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030925
Can Weblogs…? – Baring Your Bum at Bush
Time
13:03
Tharrr she blows!

George W. Bush has called our bluff. We have our dates:

The President of the United States has accepted an invitation from The Queen to pay a State Visit to the United Kingdom from Wednesday 19th November to Friday 21st November 2003.

A few people have been asking and yes, there are possible legal implications to taking any buttock-waving action. By baring your arse in such a way, it is likely that you could be arrested for a breach of the peace.

By encouraging you to do so, I may very well be done for incitement. Hell, for linking to the campaign page, you could get done for incitement.

Nevertheless, I consider George W. Bush to be a criminal and his presence on these shores to be an insult.

I do this out of love for my country.

Still, there’s no point playing into the hands of The Met and t’media.

The Bare Your Bum at Bush campaign page has been updated with a some further thoughts on strategy. I’ll keep you posted.

UPDATE – In the meantime, you may wish to send a letter to Liz and warn her to count the towels:

Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II

Buckingham Palace

London SW1A 1AA

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030926
Does What It Says On The Tin
Time
09:08
worldbeardchampionships.com! No? OK, how about awfulplasticsurgery.com?

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030926
Riding High on Blogdex
Time
09:09
Gen. Shelton shocks Celebrity Forum, says he won’t support Clark for president.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030926
Fair and Balanced
Time
09:10
And now, a few words from the right. They’re claiming media bias, the poor dears.

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Date
20030926

Time
09:13
Advertising authorities in Moscow have banned a poster campaign showing the euro having sex with the US dollar. Take a look at that pic. It’s the wrong way round, surely. Everybody knows that the dollar is the daddy. Most of us bend over for a good shafting on a daily basis.

And, good news from China, believe it or not – they’ve banned TV commercials for feminine hygiene products and haemorrhoid ointments during meal times. We should have the same thing here.

Oh, and why may I ask do they have ads for loans sharks and ‘sue-em-all’ shysters on children’s channels? What’s the point of that exactly? OK, so parents may unwittingly give way on a few sugary treats, but I’m pretty sure that any conversation started with ‘Dad, do we need an unsecured personal loan?’ is going to be a bloody short one.

My eldest (8 years old) has these ads well-sussed, himself. He keeps asking if he can call the free phone number and give them an earful about wasting his time and their advertising dollars.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030926
Flash Music Video
Time
09:14
Gollum Rap is mildly diverting, but do watch out for some NSFW ads on this page.

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Date
20030926

Time
09:25
Ahahahahahahaha! David Blaine may have to pay for the rather costly police protection he’s been receiving. Dollars to donuts that we pay for Bush’s protection, though.

I can confidently predict that a lot of money will be wasted on police manpower intended less to protect Bush, and more to make him look good by keeping protesters a few blocks away from the action. Your tax dollars at work, folks…

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030926
Christianity Watch
Time
09:30
Vatican plans to discourage the use of altar girls and ban applause and dancing at Masses. They’ll still be serving snacks and drinks though, right?

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030926
Can Weblogs…? – Baring Your Bum at Bush
Time
10:07
sofa_king_angry writes:

I always thought you Brits were a bit cheeky, but this protest idea is sublime. I hope you can bare thousands of bare bums to show the murdering, war-mongering horse’s arse Bush that he’s not welcome.

On second thought, speaking for the majority of Americans who didn’t vote for him, why don’t you keep him? I’m sure he’d get on quite well with your royals, as he’s never worked a day in his life and has had everything handed to him on a silver platter. I’m sure they could find room for him.

I invite all of you peace lovers to join an international thong in an orgy of anti-Bush, anti-war rants at: www.smirkingchimp.com

You’re not the first to make that request, mate – and you won’t be the last. The answer, as always, is ‘no’

You may not have voted for him, but until you impeach the man, you’re stuck with him. Sorry.

Actually, everybody is Iraq is stuck with him, too – and he’s not leaving until he has bled that country dry:

Bush sells Iraq to his corporate buddies #1

Bush sells Iraq to his corporate buddies #2

That latter link is from the Iraqi blog Baghdad Burning, and it’s a cracker of a post. Read it and weep.

UPDATE – *chortle* Iraq now for sale on eBay. See it before it’s withdrawn by the anti-fun squad. (Cheers to Rogi for the link.)

This list of Bushims also provides serious food for thought. Remember; this man has WMDs of his own.

There was a serious traffic spike last night, thanks to plugagge over at Eschaton. The resulting comments thread is particularly entertaining.

OK, down to the business of the actual bum barrage…

The Five Live interview went OK. Ish. I got the distinct impression that they thought the Bare Your Bum at Bush campaign was a bit silly and beneath them – but anybody who’s marched in this country in the last few years will know that legitimate protest does sweet bugger all.

Trust me when I tell you that the Met will be well-funded and well-prepared to herd and harass anybody who looks a little bit like a protestor. This being the case, I’m not entirely sure that a mass-mooning is a good idea. It may also reflect badly on the rather more staid approach being taken by the Stop the War Coalition, who are busy making their own plans.

UPDATE – Bush visit prompts protests threat

Right now, I’m leaning more towards the original idea of spontaneous hit and run action, which will be much harder to police.

The more people we have on the ground with this simple and quite suitable idea in their heads, the more chance we have of success. In fact, I dare to dream that if there is enough public support, we’ll be able to convince at least one MP to risk ejection from the chamber for daring to bare during Bush’s address to the House of Commons.

Your mission today: Send a fax to your MP and advise them that your vote is assured should they choose to make the ultimate show of defiance on your behalf.

I’m currently working on new assets to help spread the word. Hang in there. (Oh, and a tangential idea occurred last night. How do you think Bush’s security team would react to laser-pointers…? It sure freaked David Blaine out.)

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030926

Time
10:55
A cheeseburger and fries, all wrapped up in one nuggety package. Dip them in your shake (now with less than 3% sodium hexametaphosphate) for the ultimate taste explosion.

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Date
20030926
Flash Games
Time
12:00
A very cool game found via wibbler.com: arrange your guests with RSVP. Very neat, and quite distracting.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030926

Time
12:20
The biggest security operation seen in Britain will be mounted when President Bush makes a state visit to stay with the Queen in November. And remember, folks – our tax dollars will be paying for it….

Oh, I do love this:

“The senior Special Branch officer will always be close to the President, travelling in his armoured Cadillac.”

An armoured Cadillac? I’m assuming that this is being flown/shipped over here. For a two-day visit.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030926
Flash Thingies
Time
13:46
Counting Sheep (via the latest B3ta newsletter). That’s a damn fine result for Joel Veitch, too. I’m jealous as all hell.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030926
Blogdeath
Time
16:07
It is with great sadness that we mark the sudden and unexpected passing of bar room philosophy.

Gentlemen, raise your glasses…

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030926

Time
16:29
Robert Palmer dead at 54 after heart attack in Paris. Considering how he died, they really could have picked a more appropriate picture, don’t you think? Ah, there you go – much nicer.

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Date
20030926

Time
16:38
How did a dope like George W Bush get rich? Here’s the answer in nice, easy-to-understand chart form.

A little further down is a nice pie-chart breaking down the content of his UN speech.

You’ll want to poke around uggabugga a bit – there’s lots, lots more.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030926
OK, So I’m a Star Wars Geek
Time
17:00
Isn’t it wonderful the difference a simple pair of underpants can make?

Oh, and true geeks everywhere are buzzing about the return of Dr Who. Just thought I’d mention that.

What? A link? Hmmm, how about Daleks that used to rehearse in their underpants?

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030926

Time
17:19
Some quality stuff leaping in front of my eyeballs this afternoon. FunJunkie invited me along to a virtual frog dissection. I was away the day we did this is school, so there were pins and guts everywhere on my cyber-froggie.

I also found this great collection of political and corporate propaganda over at The Ultimate Insult. A great collection of Vietnam propaganda was featured this week, too. Matter of fact, there’s a bunch of great stuff that Scott has managed to sneak past me this week – you should go have a browse for yourself.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030929
One Of Those Days
Time
10:08
I’m having a quiet think today, so bloggage may be light as a result. Sorry about that.

Still, there are some bits and bobs…

Ooooh, someone’s looking to get sued…

The new tabloid version of The Independent is a bloody good idea. Were I still a train-slave, this would immediately become my format of choice (you’d be surprised how many people choose the Mail or Express purely for reasons of practicality).

My copy of Issue Zero of The London News Review is due sometime early this week. I’m champing at the bit.

The central issue that could bring down the Labour Party won’t be discussed at their conference. Said top-down captain Tony Blair: “I don’t think we’ve got anything to apologise for as a country”…!

I beg to differ.

Check out Tom Watson over the next couple of days for conference-related posts. It’ll be interesting to see what he gets away with and how the ‘on the ground’ info differs from the media take.

Oh, and the invoice I sent to Downing St clearly stipulated 30-day terms. Payment is now over a week overdue. They’ve made clear to at least one journalist that they don’t recognise the claim. I may have to get nasty about this to see a result.

I want my windmill!

There’s a new, comprehensive and highly detailed topographic map of the UK available. Insurance companies are reported to be very happy about this, as it can let people enter a postcode and immediately be ruled out for flood cover based on the actual level (or perhaps we’d better make that ‘potential depth’) of their property. Me, I’m more interested in height. Cross-reference this with regional wind speed and direction data (that goes back decades) and you have at a glance what the potential is for wind harvesting for any given property. Based on this, the homeowner could know immediately whether it’s worth getting a surveyor out for the installation of anything from a small battery charger to a big whooshing mother that could provide all of their power needs and contribute to the grid.

Nice pipe-dream, huh? Unfortunately, that’s all it is right now – because the economy of this country simply isn’t geared for this kind of thing. Better and easier to buy a car you can’t afford or sue someone (free!) for an accident that was your own damn fault.

Here’s a quick experiment for you… do a quick search for a place in the UK where you can buy a windmill of any shape or size. Good luck.

Hmm, these few bits and bobs are growing… maybe if I just spill my guts and let you know what’s on my mind we’ll be able to pull full bloggage out of the hat.

Thinking last night:

I’m sick to death of staggering from one crisis to another with a feeling of complete powerlessness. I’ve also had it with our actions being hindered by the government or deliberately misrepresented by the media when we feel the need to protest.

Things are going too far across the board. As fun as it would be to line a few folks up against the wall, I’m inclined to think that a little friendly persuasion is in order to bring about an essential correction or two.

I think there’s scope for – and a real need for – a passive resistance movement.

Worldwide, web-coordinated, and operating on multiple fronts with one simple, central idea:

It’s. Just. Not. Good. Enough… and me and my mates plan to do something about it.

Just think… if there were one small thing you could do (without endangering your life or liberty) and simply doing it at the same time as a few thousand others would force any targeted government, corporation or organisation to make a significant change in position, would you do it?

Drop me an email today if you think you may wish to play along. I’d like to start with a few small wins and then take things up a notch as we move from success to success.

Oh, it has to be fun and interesting wherever possible, too. Hope that’s OK.

A few practical assets that I’ll need to bring it together are beyond my immediate technical/financial capacity. And I’d like to hear about what you think of the idea in general.

Been reading Bloggerheads for a while? Haven’t sent an email yet? Today’s one of those days when I could really do with your input. Get in touch.

Cheers all.

(sings)

Satyagraha ’till we meet again…

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030929

Time
10:25
Read Baghdad Burning’s latest entry and then check out The Guardian article this post references. Iraq is being systematically looted before your very eyes.

Also, check out the post on the same subject from Not in My America (permalink is broken, sorry):

“This trend is leading me to believe that we will lose Iraq, not because the resistance will defeat us, but because corporations will try to milk Iraq for every dollar they can. Worse yet, the Bush administration is actively promoting the milking.”

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030929
It’s War! And Somebody’s Telling Porkies!
Time
16:04
The father of U.S. soldier killed in Iraq: “My son died because Bush lied.”

Shades of David Kelly: Bush Administration Is Focus of Inquiry: CIA Agent’s Identity Was Leaked to Media. A simple revenge attack, by the looks of things. Oh, and in violation of federal law.

For a tidy overview of what this is about and what the possible implications are, check out this handy post by Chris Nelson.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030930

Time
09:34
Build your own Segway or a codpiece just like Darth Vader’s.

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Date
20030930

Time
09:35
More workers get shut out of e-mail. We must protect our wage-slaves from the outside world.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030930

Time
09:38
‘Restless’ gorilla escapes from zoo, injuring toddler and teenager.

In other zoo news, Hanging Day has a nice piece on the shooting of a bengal tiger by US troops in Baghdad Zoo.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030930

Time
09:42
Dubya’s uncle likes to give remote-controlled fart machines as gifts.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030930
The Californian Recall
Time
09:45
College student uses Wheel of Fortune winnings to run for governor.

Arnie is the clear front-runner, which makes me want to eat my own neck. Hanging Day have a few thoughts on this, too.

UPDATE – Sunday’s Doonesbury drops the funny to make a direct plea to readers in California.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030930

Time
09:48
A telling cover story from TIME: Mission not accomplished. In this same issue: WMDs – Chasing a Mirage.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030930
The Impeachment of George W Bush
Time
10:35
What do you think of my new Subject Title? I quite like it, and hope to use it more often. It makes me feel good just to look at these words and dream of the day that America emerges from its recent nightmare.

If you spent any time online last week, you’re sure to have sensed a widespread and quite heartening awakening. The Bush administration acted with predictable neverwrongability, but now – just look at this and think about the implications – America seems to have actually woken up screaming:

White House officials ‘out’ secret agent in revenge attack against her husband. Who dared to accuse the Bush administration of exaggerating the case for war against Saddam Hussein, don’tcha know?

This is an explosive issue, so information is coming out thick and fast (in fact, too thick and fast for Instapundit) but here are some posts that may help you understand what this means.

Josh Marshall is all over this, but you may wish to avoid the partial transcript of the regular news briefing with White House press secretary Scott McClellan. Trying to follow this could very well make your head explode, but if you’re a glutton for punishment you may wish to take a look at the complete transcript.

Basically, we’re being told that this leak by the Justice Department is going to be investigated – by the Justice Department. (Oh, and scroll down to the very bottom for a predictable treat).

What really caught my eye at Josh Marshall’s site was this post:

“What’s clear from McClellan’s statement is that a lot is already known in the White House – probably everything – and they’re trying to keep a lid on it.”

Equally telling for me today was this post by Daniel Drezner:

“If Rove or other high-ranking White House officials did what’s alleged, then they’ve earned the wrath of God…

“Let me make this as plain as possible – I was an unpaid advisor for the Bush-Cheney 2000 campaign, and I know and respect some high-ranking people in the administration. And none of that changes the following: if George W. Bush knew about or condoned this kind of White House activity, I wouldn’t just vote against him in 2004 – I’d want to see him impeached. Straight away.”

Bye-bye, George.

UPDATE – Huzzah! We already have a Plame blame game! Who do you think will take the fall?

(I’ll try to make post later today about further thoughts I’ve had regarding the proposed passive resistance movement. Hang in there.)

MORE INPUT:

Here’s a jolly nice breakdown of this messy affair.

Ooh, look: Open Source Politics were onto this a month ago.

Slate.com also acknowledges that this issue has been around for a while, but they have their doubts about it actually shaking Bush.

A variety of posts have been made at http://atrios.blogspot.com/ – this blog bears watching if you want to keep up and/or watch a lot of people arguing about it. Beware of trolls.

Finally, if you live in Washington, do take a umbrella when you go out today. There’s going to be blood, mud and bulldust coming from all directions.

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Date
20030930

Time
13:07
This expose will make you spit with rage. Hooray for a world where life means nothing to some people.

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Date
20030930

Time
14:35
Vasectomy delays Tube commuters. A trainee driver fainted as his two colleagues described the procedure in grisly detail. The trainee driver actually threw up at one stage, but his colleagues persisted until he actually fainted and fell out of the (moving) vehicle. Nice, huh?

I can’t deliver the choo-choo train, but I can offer you the heady experience of fainting at your desk by linking to my-vasectomy.com

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030930
Anyone but George
Time
17:37
A comment spied over at smirkingchimp.com that tickled my fancy:

Don’t ever forget what Jim Morrison said long ago: “They’ve got the guns, but we’ve got the numbers.” How right he was. I am past the point of caring anymore how I sound to ANYONE. I am an AMERICAN, this is MY country as well as everyone else’s, and I intend to run my mouth and be active in any way I can to get these fucking criminals OUT of office.

Oh, and I’m still thinking about that other thing. People are hammered by online protests and petitions on a daily basis these days. New ’cause’ sites are springing up everywhere. Weariness and apathy abound, so I want to make the proposal as attractive, easy and crystal-clear as possible.

01-15 September, 2003

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Date
20030901

Time
09:13
Fight the battle against head lice with Lice Rid Man!

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030901
The Californian Recall
Time
09:13
Arnie refuses to take part in candidate debate. Of course he does. He’s leading in the polls and doesn’t want to screw it up by opening his big fat mouth.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030901
Tony Blair’s Email: News and Linkage
Time
09:15
Finally! Recognition in Britain and Iran.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030901
Does What It Says On The Tin
Time
09:20
Have you spilled precious blood lately? Upload your injury to woundgallery.com and share your shameful disfigurement (careful @ lunch).

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Date
20030901

Time
09:27
Read reactions to Alastair Campbell’s resignation. He will be sadly missed.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030901

Time
09:30
‘Time Travel’ spam tracked to source. The Massachusetts attorney general got on his case and the spammer – one Robby Todino – agreed to pay a $5,000 fine and halt ‘misleading and deceptive’ spamming practices.

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Date
20030901

Time
09:33
A rapping juggernaut born on ‘the harsh and unforgiving streets of New York City’s Chinatown.’ Behold The Notorious MSG (link via TTR2).

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030901
Summertime News
Time
09:38
An excellent rundown of what’s been a very busy silly season.

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Date
20030901

Time
09:41
You may scoff when I write stuff like this, but I hope the following provides pause for thought:

Laurel Wellman writes: ‘the whole Internet thing has been a grand experiment, but an experiment that’s failed.’ Oh, really? Well, I’d best just lock up my webshed and go home, then.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030901

Time
09:47
Over 900 copies of the SoBig virus in my Inbox from this latest mutation. I’m genuinely hoping for a public stoning on this one.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030901

Time
09:49
Cow without tail fitted with flyswatter. Yes, there’s a picture.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030901
Conspiracy Theories
Time
09:50
Military helicopters study crop formations and the top ten conspiracy theories of 2002.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030901
Anyone but George
Time
09:53
Howard Dean flip-flopping and nobody seems to care about the Democratic presidential race. You better start caring real soon, people. Allowing Dubya a second term borders on criminal negligence.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030901
Riding High on Blogdex
Time
09:58
Is your boss an idiot?

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030901
Flash Games
Time
09:59
Bring peace to your little patch of desert. With bombs and heat seeking missiles, of course. (Link via FunJunkie.)

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030901

Time
10:03
Did FDR end the depression or prolong it? A scholar is claiming that he kept it ticking along nicely until the Japanese kicked the war machine into life.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030901

Time
10:05
Child cyclist to stand trial for ‘falling off bike.’ He’s lucky the Greek authorities recently did away with the death penalty for wearing stupid shorts.

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Date
20030901

Time
11:17
Could anything be more cringeworthy than The Star Wars Holiday Special? Yes: C3PO busts R2D2 in this classic anti-smoking ad. Now to find a video of this sucker…

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030901

Time
16:54
I must admit to watching the car crash that is Poop Idol over the weekend. These jokers wasted money on an ad during the programme, telling viewers that they could help make them famous:

http://www.worldbeautysearch.com/

(You’ll have to copy and paste the URL, because I’ll be damned if I’ve going to give them any Google-juice.)

They’re touting themselves as ‘Licensed Talent Scouts’ or ‘Personal Marketing Consultants’ and offer an exclusive and unique way to helping you to make your dreams come true.

Yes, folks at home, success can be yours with the Diamond Kit from World Beauty Search!

Why is this ‘groundbreaking promotional tool’ known as the ‘Diamond’ Kit?

Well… it’s a Direct Integrated Automated Marketing Online Networking Device.

A web page, in other words. For only £200 a year.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030901
OMG!
Time
17:18
I tripped over Dit net wel in my referral logs and found the most incredible website as a result.

Remember Peter Pan of Pixyland? Well, I think I may very well have just found his soul mate.

(WARNING: Watch out for NSFW pop-ups on this site!)

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030902
Does What It Says On The Tin
Time
08:41
Trigger your inner epileptic with seizurerobots.com (link via ultimateinsult.net).

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030902

Time
08:43
A giant lizard terrorised Beirut and I wasn’t informed?

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030902

Time
08:44
Boozeking.com offers the following hangover prevention technique but the reader-submitted preventions and cures at HairyTongue.com are far more comprenhesive and useful. Pity the same can’t be said for this collection of masturbation prevention techniques.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030902
Flash Music Video
Time
08:51
Visually, it’s very professional – but the song would be lost without puerile humour. Still… not a bad punchline. Check out The Prison Bitch Song (link via TTR2).

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030902
Riding High on Blogdex
Time
08:55
This article about Saudi ties to terrorists and alleged involvement in 11/9 (please note correct date formatting) is ruffling a few feathers, but quite a few people are taking time out to enjoy the simple pleasures of watching George Bush drop his dog Barney. Myself, I’m opting for the simple pleasures. The Ministry of Truth is sure to let us know if there’s going to be a war – illegal, misguided or otherwise.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030902

Time
09:06
Flotilla of rubber duckies threatens east coast of U.S. Ernie denies involvement.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030902

Time
09:08
Atlanta Journal-Constitution apologises to readers for using picture of Britney Spears kissing Madonna on front page. Surprise, surprise, the editor realised – after a deluge of complaints – that it wasn’t newsworthy.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030902
The Californian Recall
Time
09:11
Arniew bows to public pressure and agrees to one debate. But he gets to be on top.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030902

Time
09:12
David Blaine is doing his best to freak out journalists again. THis time he pretended to cut off an ear during a press conference. “A quick warning to the folks in the front row…”

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Date
20030902

Time
09:14
A quick overview of Buddhism from Kuro5hin. Do take time to review the comments.

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Date
20030902

Time
09:17
Forget crabs. It’s lobster herpes that you’ll want to worry about.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030902

Time
09:19
Boy hitchhikes 1,250 miles to Swedish girl he fell in love with on holiday. He arrived to find out that he was yesterday’s news.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030902

Time
09:22
So this is it – we’re all going to die. (#12,623 in a series.)

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030902

Time
09:33
ScaryDuck on the value of the BBC.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030902
Tony Blair’s Email: News and Linkage
Time
09:37
Internet Magazine:

Now you can email Tony Blair
.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030902
Pauline Hanson
Time
09:39
After getting over the initial (and considerable) feelings of jubilation, I’m starting to have some serious doubts about the way this whole Pauline Hanson thing was handled.

Please Explain…?

I’m not entirely sure that the end justified the means. In fact, I’m of the opinion that the means will lead to a rather sticky end.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030902
Can Weblogs…?
Time
21:41

I know what we need to do.

It’s a quick win; it’s a decisive win – and it involves bloggers from both sides of the Atlantic.

Bush The Pretender has timed his visit to this country very carefully.

We’re about to teach him that timing is not everything.

The next project will be: Can Weblogs Chase Bush Out Of Britain?

This has been a media war from start to finish. We, the proponents of the New Meedja, should stand ready to teach him a Very Old Lesson.

We need:

- Resources

- Link support

- Bodies on the ground

Media coverage can either reflect what the media wants us to know, or What Cannot Be Ignored.

Personally, I want to rob this throwback redneck of every photo opportunity he would otherwise take for granted – in the finest British tradition, of course.

What do you think?

Emails to the usual address.

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Date
20030903

Time
09:06
Still getting over Madonna and Missy Elliot’s corporate whoring? Try this:Justin Timberlake is going to rap for McDonald’s.

I went to the Gap website yesterday and searched for ‘jaynz.’ They didn’t have any.

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Date
20030903

Time
09:12
A fantastic find from Joe Smith: these are quite possibly the bestest products in the whole wide world.

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Date
20030903
Riding High on Blogdex
Time
09:16
Psychologist Oliver James analyses the behaviour of the American president. The man has issues.

Also: Which president told the biggest whoppers? You get to decide.

On the subject of Can Weblogs Chase Bush Out Of Britain? I’m still have a quiet think about the best tools and methods to use to make the man feel decidely unwelcome before he even arrives. I’d love for this to happen again.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030903

Time
09:21
Plumber goes down for wrecking house of client who criticised his work. He’s been sentenced to do 100 hours of community service work – and the judge told him that he had better do a bloody good job of it.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030903

Time
09:26
Study ties IQ closely with social class. Basically, if you’re poor, you suffer because of a lack of quality input.

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Date
20030903

Time
09:28
Spammers band together for emotional support. Group hug! Group hug!

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Date
20030903

Time
09:29
Issue Zero of The London News Review has just sold out before even going to print. FunJunkie acknowledge their place on the ‘too slow’ list with this post.

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Date
20030903

Time
09:36
Lonnie Boyd got hit by lightning and now he wants a lightning bolt tattoo. Tyler Weikel wanted a tattoo, but felt that he lacked a suitable traumatic incident in his life. So he decided to stage one by jumping out of moving car. He’s dead.

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Date
20030903

Time
09:41
There’s still one day of school holidays left for a lot of youngsters, so today is your last chance to treat them to a visit to the British Lawnmower Museum. Adults get in for a quid, and kids are only 50p. Bargain!

On show are lawnmowers of the rich and famous (including the lawnmower of Lady Di) and the fastest lawnmowers in the world ‘as seen on TV.’

If you do go and visit, please do take some pictures and send them in. I’d love to see what the place looks like, and their photo gallery is mostly full of pictures of lawnmower manuals.

Oh, and get me something from the gift shop too, OK? Nothing fancy, just a lawnmower key ring or a postcard will do.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030903

Time
11:43
Money a problem? Debt got you down? Cheer up! This site lets you see how well-off you really are.

Erm, and then asks for money.

Hang on, how does debt figure into this equation? If I owe money, don’t I actually have less than someone who has nothing?

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030903

Time
15:35
Hey, everybody! Al’s back!

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030903
Can Weblogs…?
Time
15:35
OK, the next experiment is live and ready to roll.

Heads up and trousers down, people. It’s time to bare your bum at George W Bush!

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030904

Time
09:05
The Sun discovers blogs. They interviewed me, but I failed to get a mention. Is it because I is a Guardianista?

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030904
The Political Weblog Movement
Time
09:06
Dave Winer’s tips for successful political weblogging. Some good advice in there, be he’s still recommending that politicians have others blog on their behalf. How can you have a decent conversation by proxy?

Also, check out the new superblog: Open Source Politics.

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Date
20030904

Time
09:11
Britney discusses that kiss. She also has some interesting thoughts on politics:

“Honestly, I think we should just trust our president in every decision that he makes and we should just support that.”

You may well prefer Johnny Depp’s thoughts:

“America is dumb, it’s like a dumb puppy that has big teeth that can bite and hurt you.”

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030904

Time
09:13
Terrorists recruiting zombie army to invade U.S. They want to feast on your decadent western brains.

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Date
20030904
The Californian Recall
Time
09:14
Arnie gets egged after he opts out of debate.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030904
Christianity Watch
Time
09:16
This excellent piece on Paul Hill over at Hanging Day inspired me.

Their posthumorous follow-up is also quite fabulous.

While we’re up in the clouds gabbing with God, take a few moments to check out The Christian Skydivers Association. Their motto: AirBornAgain.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030904

Time
09:24
Spammers turn to chain letters to harvest email addresses.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030904
Can Weblogs…? – Baring Your Bum at Bush
Time
09:42
Well, Mum’s already been in touch, begging me not to stir up the lunatic fringe. Actually, I see us as more of a discontented mullet. Rather silly and oft-mocked, but we do help to keep the sun off your neck, if you get my drift.

Link support and campaign commitment is coming in from Bar Room Philosophy, BingoBowden, Greenfairy , the Kurry Kings and TTR2.

There’s also this email from Thomas (who has just been offered two Atari games of his choice in exchange for his domain name):

“I like this idea. I like it a lot. Even if I have to cycle my sodding bike all the way to Heathrow, Bush *SHALL* get a good look at my fat hairy arse.”

Do be careful, Tom. After an hour or so on that bicycle seat, your arse could very well be classified as a biological weapon.

For those who are wondering, yes, I will be making a concerted effort to bare my arse at Bush. ScaryDuck pointed out by email that the one venue we could be sure of was an address by Bush to the House of Lords.

What say you to a group buttock-baring for the benefit of attending press? Just like a Flashmob, but this time with a point to the entire exercise.

With regards to the risk of a charge of indecent exposure, a fine suggestion of flesh-colured body-stockings (with cracks painted on, or course) has been posted over at the B3ta boards. A good solution for some, but I quite like the feel of a fresh breeze on my buttocks.

A further suggestion of ‘complete flesh coloured body suits with unrealistically large appendages attached’ was dismissed out of hand.

UPDATE – A fine entry, rich in persuasive juices, over at ScaryDuck and an equally compelling call-to-action over at FunJunkie. It looks like there’ll be bare arses across Britain come autumn.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030904

Time
09:54
This JPEG Baby linkage led me to an classic post in this same forum:

15 Things to do at WalMart.

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Date
20030904

Time
11:17
Longtime lurker Andrew Hewitt has finally spoken up and sent in a link to hangman for the inept and addled of mind. I must admit to running through the vowels before twigging.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030904
Can Weblogs…? – Baring Your Bum at Bush
Time
11:57
A fine post by the Soliloquist. The following blogs also join the Bogroll of Honour:

ChaChaCha | Cloud23 | Dearie Me | Jezblog | Reblog | Ramblings and Revelations

I thank you one and all. Right now I’m busy drafting my letter to local and foreign press. Oh, and doing some work, of course.

UPDATE – 22nd on Blogdex. This could well turn into an international sport. Good thing, too. George Bush has a new and disturbing secret weapon.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030904

Time
14:55
Ahahahahahahaha! ScaryDuck points out that in the new movie about the president’s whereabouts in the days following 11/9 (please note, as ever, the correct date formatting) the role of George W Bush will be played by… Timothy Bottoms.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030904
Greetings, New Readers!
Time
18:19
Ooh, look at that: this looks due to appear in The Sun tomorrow, but it’s live on the site now.

Many new visitors already as a result (BTW, the official stats for this site are 1200-1500 readers a day, not 12,000-15,000), so I thought some short introductions would be in order.

Welcome to you, reader of The Sun. May I interest you in the following subversive image?

No?

Then perhaps you’d care to bare your bum at George W Bush.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030904
Bumming Bush
Time
21:57
Heh. A sincere display of cynicism has resulted from this post at Metafilter. Apparently I’m not the first person to think of showing their arse to George W. Bush.

Doesn’t surprise me.

Also, something about me bugs Andrew.

Andrew, you’re not the first, and you won’t be the last. When in doubt about a new blogger, do what I do. Use the bloody archives. If you’re still in some doubt, use Technorati.

/sothere

I have to go now. The weather’s turned cold all of a sudden, and our hedgehog regular has returned. We must build a shelter! Please send cheques or money orders to the following address….

UPDATE – I always, always get a kick out of cracking the language barrier. You’ll probably have to View- –>Source to find the link, but it’s there.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030905

Time
08:38
Play keepy-uppy with your cursor (link via Ickle, whose URL I appear to have mislaid).

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Date
20030905

Time
08:40
Downing St website target of virus-borne DoS attack.

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Date
20030905

Time
08:41
How can you possibly say no to a one-stop shop for limp-wristed sperm? I’ll have a large protein-slurpee to go, thanks.

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Date
20030905

Time
08:47
Laxative-laced brownie prank leads to the expulsion of three students. One of them was lucky enough to have her expulsion cancelled by a judge because she opted out at the last minute. There’s one for the permanent record. (Hmmm. I wonder what happened to mine. It must be eating up valuable storage space somewhere…)

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Date
20030905

Time
08:53
Enrich your inner geek with Star Trek on Ice (link via TTR2).

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Date
20030905

Time
08:55
The print version of this Sun article appears to have been bumped. Ah well. Outrage at sex monsters must come first, I suppose.

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Date
20030905
Photoshopping
Time
08:57
WARNING: photoshopping kittens may very well lead to psychotic decline.

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Date
20030905
Flash Games
Time
09:01
Catch flies with chopsticks! (link via FunJunkie).

The increasingly cold weather is driving more and more flies into the office. My flyswatter is looking decidely ragged around the edges, but it’s still doing a bloody good job. Blogging has been slow this morning because I’ve been busy swatting between posts. Close to a dozen of the buggers have met their maker so far. It’s satisfying work, but very, very distracting.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030905

Time
09:08
We’ve discussed water intake as a hangover prevention method before, now New Scientist is on the case.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030905

Time
09:11
See video footage of Arnie being egged.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030905
Tony Blair’s Email: News and Linkage
Time
09:15
The invoicing of Tony Blair has just been covered by my local paper The Surrey Advertiser. I am now officially world-famous in Cranleigh.

The important thing about this article (sorry there’s no linkage, there’s a fabbo picture in there of me pretending to use a laptop) is that the journalist has managed to get a statement from Downing St. They have said that they do not recognise the claim.

I’m lacing up my arse-kicking boots…

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030905

Time
09:21
This database of Japanese Holdouts is attempting to list (and verify) sightings of soliders who refused to believe that WWII was over. Do pop out and check the garden shed when you have a few minutes. Just in case.

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Date
20030905
Can Weblogs…? – Baring Your Bum at Bush
Time
09:49
Well, the blog world knows about it. The campaign appears to have peaked at No. 2 at Blogdex, and also gets a plug today over at MSNBC’s Weblog Central.

Now we find out if people are actually willing to act on it, and if this action has any effect.

Added to the bogroll of honour today:

100% Proof | Feck | Follow Me Here | Hot Buttered Death | Ionica | The Last Word | Mad Musings of Me | The Partially Clothed Civil Servant | Pigs In Lipstick | Somewhat, Mulchy | TheOneEyedMan | timeformetofly | Wingardium Leviosa

Thank you, one and all. If I’ve missed anyone, drop me a line.

We also managed to crack the language barrier at smoel.nl, Ponto Media and now dardesar.

Heh. You know I never fail get a kick out of that.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030905

Time
09:55
A compendium of crazy fads from the 20′s to the 90′s. Nothing from the noughties. Yet.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030905
Anyone but George
Time
10:23
Countdown to Election Day: 525 Reasons to Dump Bush

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030905

Time
13:49
Johnny Depp realises that some of the people who pay to see his movies are American.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030905
Photoshopping
Time
15:14
The Bare Your Bum at Bush campaign has rated mention in the B3ta newsletter. (A good thing, then, that I’ve taken a step forward with a planned mass mooning and a song to back it.)

This week’s Photoshopping Challenge theme is vikings. Again, it’s a busy friday, so I only have time for one entry. You can click here to see a large version.

UPDATE – Oh, and The Lycos ‘Viral’ Chart has finally featured a link to the Tony Blair email campaign.

Tch! Where were they when I needed them?

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030906

Time
13:11
We have a hedgehog that hibernates in our garden each winter. He’s returned during the sudden cold snap (we spotted him ambling about the night before last), so this afternoon I’m going to finally get off my arse and build the little fella a shelter.

This page by Epping Forest Hedgehog Rescue has some good tips. We’re going to use an old chest of drawers that would otherwise be destined for the tip and cannibalise it for parts.

If I’m not too embarrassed about the result of my often-bodgy D.I.Y. skills, I may even post a picture of the finished product.

There. Now you really have something to look forward to.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030908

Time
08:49
Shock! Horror! Happier animals result in tastier food! I know of a certain sheep that must have been decidedly unhappy (latter link contains some dang-doodle cusswords).

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030908

Time
08:53
Happy birthday (+1) to you,

Happy birthday (+1) to you,

Happy birthday dear Gooooogle,

Happy birthday (+1) tooooo yooooooooou!

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030908

Time
08:55
Snopes not entirely infallible. This be that fact-checking aspect we blogfolk talk about sometimes.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030908

Time
08:57
Man has gun permit suspended after trying to kill his brother’s car.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030908

Time
08:59
Spammers in Italy now risk fines of up to 90,000 euros and between six months and three years in prison. Good.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030908

Time
09:01
Doonesbury ‘self-dating prevents cancer’ strip censored. It’s based on research results suggesting that masturbation can lower the likelihood of prostate cancer.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030908
Christianity Watch
Time
09:04
Museum removes ‘killer’ Christ icon. An ‘energy field’ (or, to be more specific, a ‘negative bio-field’) at the centre of the painting has reportedly killed several staff members.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030908

Time
09:08
Clay Shirky on the future of micropayment. He doesn’t see one.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030908
Video
Time
09:09
I like this. I like this very, very muchly:

Stealthdisco.com will make you laugh like a drain – and may very well inspire you to engage in equally foolish behaviour at your place of work.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030908
Does What It Says On The Tin
Time
09:11
A useful link from TTR2:

Oldversion.com is an archived collection of old versions of software (for when the software no longer exists or when the new versions are bloated beyond all recognition, bundled with spyware, etc. etc. etc.)

Bookmark it (you’ll probably need it one day, as I have). Also, have a poke around your downloads folder and see if you have anything useful they might need. I’m planning on donating an old version of Animagic I have laying around at home.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030908
Can Weblogs…? – Baring Your Bum at Bush
Time
09:29
With 7 out of 10 Americans believing that Saddam Hussein had a role in the Sept. 11 attacks you can’t really blame Bush for including as the central thrust of his address to the nation the assertion that ‘Iraq is now the central front’ in the perpetual war on terror.

If it is, it’s only because he made it that way (UPDATE: ooh, look – Howard Dean agrees). Such bare-faced cheek is the central inspiration behind the Bare You Bum at Bush campaign, and it’s growing and growing and growing.

The prospect of a mass-mooning has quite a few people excited. Not least the many Australians who emailed to inform me that Bush is visiting their neck of the woods, too (thanks especially to Peter V and Whitey, who were first in with the news and linkage respectively).

If you run a solid blog in Australia and/or live in Sydney or Canberra and want to organise a mass-mooning there, do get in touch. A sister campaign would be welcomed.

One thing that gives me hope is the massive number of Americans not only linking to this campaign, but also sending emails of support. The best one came from housebound, who said:

I just gotta thank you. Being an American and reading this sentence: “George Bush is unlikely to walk around the streets kissing babies because of the large number of people that wish to blow him up.” Well, it was fun. Everyone is so damn touchy in this country. I wish they would wake up and smell the blood on their hands.

Good to know that not everybody is buying this long line of bullshit. It means that I can put off plans to leave the planet (at least in the short term).

Bless my soul (currently valued at £8582), it warms the heart to see that so many sensible people are willing to get silly for the cause (even though some may have their doubts).

The following sites and weblogs have joined our growing bogroll of honour:

Off On A Tangent | Idle Type | Ben’s Blog | Diversionz | You Know You Love It | Weird Ass Shit | Storm Warning | The Meandering Mind of Mad Mitch | Gene Eric’s Weblog | Nick’s Rants | Quaequam Blog | Pete Ashton’s Weblog | What You Can Get Away With | Ariped | Uncle Scoopy’s Other Crap | Baron’s Bollocks | Everything I Read I Blog | Chuck’s Blogumentary | Caleb Walker | Today I blog, tomorrow I sleep | The Last Minute | Chapel Perilous | Jetcloud | Brain Off | Cherry Hinton Blues | Casino Avenue | sTaRe | A day in the life of a Middle Manager | we are the bean robi | Rands in Repose | BigDaddyBlog | Perfect Duluth Day | Lemonpillows | i am a donut | Meeting Space | The Daily Dave | Internet Weekly | Voxpolitics

And, last but by no means least (as is said) Anyhoo, who wonders if the moonfest will go international.

Well, there’s at least one Canadian in amongst that lot proposing some local action and, as I mentioned, many, many Americans.

A mass mooning in Washington? I have the feeling that authorities will do their best to crack down on that (sorry) but do have a think about it while you check out this excellent Quicktime movie (if this doesn’t get you in the mood to bare your bum, nothing will).

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030908

Time
11:25
Quack! Quackquackquackquack…

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030908
Only Interesting to Bloggers
Time
11:29
Emerging Alternatives: Blogworld

See? We’re not only becoming increasingly useful, we’re having fun doing it. We are having fun, right? Uh, guys…? (Link via Chuck’s Blogumentary.)

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030908

Time
11:35
I just went looking in Google Images for a picture of George W Bush playing dress-up in his favourite flight suit. No joy.

What? You’re kidding, right? I suspect that Warbaby may just be onto something here.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030908
How Weblogs Work
Time
14:34
Did you arrive here via the article in The Sun? Good-oh, then you may wish to read the reactions to this article from meish.org and Wherever You Are. Do take the time to read the comments. Oh, and so things remain fair and balanced, here’s a list of every blog who commented on this article.

This entry from Gert deserves special mention in the category of Most Effective Use of a Stereotype.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030908
It’s War! And Somebody’s Telling Porkies!
Time
16:38
Michael Meacher: This war on terrorism is bogus!

You’ll want to be reading the resulting letters and the link cosmos, just to know that you’re not alone.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030908

Time
16:45
I’ll be giving my first search engine seminar tomorrow, so there probably won’t be any bloggage until late afternoon. Sorry about that.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030909
Search Engine Optimisation
Time
09:30
Well, the seminar is all set up and ready to roll. Everybody is upstairs registering and networking. I’m hiding down here in the basement. Blogging. I think it’s time to admit that I may just have a problem.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030910

Time
09:04
Goodbye Warren Zevon. You’ll be missed.

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Date
20030910

Time
09:05
Inmate falls through ceiling tiles in front of judge.

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Date
20030910
Yet Another Lame Quiz
Time
09:05
Which breed of dog are you? Vague result, no link mechanism. *sigh*

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Date
20030910
Video
Time
09:07
Now you can download all the amazing ads for Family Auto Mart and enjoy them in the privacy of you own home (or take them to the office along with your wicked, wicked ways).

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Date
20030910

Time
09:10
Church of Scientology loses copyright case. They’ve got some nerve those people, especially after shamelessly ripping off other people’s sites.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030910
Riding High on Blogdex
Time
09:14
12-year-old girl sued for downloading music. RIAA are weighing in with a suit that could mean penalties as high as $150,000 per song, but they’ve kindly offered evil illegal downloaders amnesty if they turn themselves in and promise to never, ever do it again. Of course, if you’ve already been sued, it’s tough titties.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030910
Flash Games
Time
09:18
Lego Treasure Hunt! Rough around the edges, but loaded with detail. Leave it for lunchtime.

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Date
20030910

Time
09:23
My eyes! The goggles, they do nothing!

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Date
20030910

Time
09:24
Mystery tiles spread mystery message around the world.

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Date
20030910

Time
09:28
Judge Allows Sept. 11 Suits Against Airlines. Here’s where it starts. Also, keep an eye out for the first asbestos-related cases from deceived New Yorkers.

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Date
20030910

Time
09:34
Librarians make stern faces over ‘shushing’ action figure.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030910
Can Weblogs…? – Baring Your Bum at Bush
Time
09:56
Donald Rumsfeld: Opposition to George W. Bush is encouraging Washington’s enemies and hindering his ‘war against terrorism’ Well, you’d best avoid this point-by-point of his recent speech, then. You don’t want to hinder George’s noble cause, now do you?

You certainly don’t want to attend this rally in Trafalgar Square on the 22nd of October and you almost definitely should never, ever, dare to Bare Your Bum at Bush.

Plans for the mass mooning in the UK are ticking along, and the campaign song will (I hope) be ready to roll soon.

Added to the bogroll of honour today:

iCandy | Will Burnham | The Daily Post | Bumptious | NomadChick | CheeseDog | ambivalent imbroglio | Carlton Hibbert’s Illustration Blog | Nick Denny | melancholic in mid Glamorgan

Language barrier cracked today courtesy of Sargasso and Vouich.com

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Date
20030910
OK, So I’m a Star Wars Geek
Time
09:57
I can be a mite obsessive at times, but at least I’m not this far gone. (Cheers to Steve for the heads-up.)

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030910
Search Engine Optimisation
Time
10:33
Thanks to everybody who emailed and wished me well for the search engine seminar yesterday. I had no idea you guys cared so much (but please do stop, it’s making me blush).

I was worried that nerves would hit me at the last minute, but this didn’t happen and the whole presentation went very, very smoothly.

I started out by outlining basic principles of keywords, search engines and directories (a lot of people were surprised at just how important a simple listing in the Open Directory Project is).

I also outlined the importance of human response, not just now with Google, but almost certainly in the future with databases being developed by MSN and Yahoo!

Along the way, there were case studies of a few things you may already be familiar with (peeking as you do into my daily dealings in the petri dish) including Lugjam, The Star Wars Photoshopping Project, The Universal Church of the Interactive Network and Tom’s Teens! page.

I only got to glance at the comment forms this morning (someone, somewhere, is typing like mad right now) but the words that kept popping up again and again were ‘very useful,’ ‘informative,’ and ‘great’ – which pleased me no end.

Russ Hirst happened by the blog as a result, and made his way past the spamblock to say:

“Cracking seminar this morning, excellent content and good delivery style!”

The boss even dropped by my desk with a bottle of bubbly this morning (I’m not sure if this was meant to be a gesture of thanks or contra payment in lieu of a raise, but perhaps if I cash it in at the local off-license it can be both).

The one thing I didn’t do was factor in the need for handouts (some parts were pretty technical), so for the rest of the day I’ll be busy creating a summary document.

Roll on, October 17th.

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Date
20030910
Flash Games
Time
11:15
Defend yourself against the evil Mutant Dictator Clones! (You’ll need a fast machine and a zippy connection for this one – and do watch out for ghosts of past evil dictators.)

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030910

Time
11:25
I had a little difficulty with a certain anniversary last year and I’m sure that this year will be no different.

Well, a bit different. The Bush administration is becoming increasingly shameless in their use of September 11th as an offensive weapon.

Over 3,000 innocent Americans have died. That’s a tragedy.

But over 6,000 innocent Iraqis have died as a result of this tragedy being used as a successful propaganda device. That is an outrage.

If I do have a moment of quiet reflection tomorrow, it’s going to start here.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030910

Time
15:56
Isn’t in wonderful that the London Metropolitan police are working so hard to keep the world safe for arms dealers?

Absolute gents, they are, each and every last one of them.

I doff my cap to David Blunkett. It was an inspired move to give police permission to use anti-terrorism powers against protesters.

Such irony is delicious – and such responsibility couldn’t be in better hands.

UPDATE – BTW, it occurred to me last night how talented the London Met are (after years of experience) at monitoring websites and discussion groups, planting undercover officers and disrupting legitimate protests. During the last peace march, ours was the only country in the world not to stage a protest outside the U.S. embassy. Well done, the Met! I’ll be thinking very carefully about their way of doing things as the mass-mooning comes together.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030911

Time
09:06
Windoze is about as useful as a concrete submarine with screen doors. Just as SoBig is timing out, there’s a new vulnerability alert and a new patch to download. Please do download and restart before doing anything else today. My wings were like a shield of steel throughout SoBig, but I really could have done without the 35,000+ versions of it on my mailserver at 100K a time.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030911

Time
09:10
Wordblog sets a different scrabble conundrum each day. There aren’t any prizes, but today if you can make a word out of PEGCMAW and score higher than 24, at least you can walk away with an air of superiority.

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Date
20030911

Time
09:14
Hanging Day on police use of anti-terrorism legislation against protestors at the DSEi arms fair. I can’t wait for these guys to get into print.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030911
Christianity Watch
Time
09:17
Take the kids out for a fun and educational day at the Creation Museum and Family Discovery Centre! When they’ve finished building it, that is. They’ve only just got the roof on and the Lakeside Adventure Trail isn’t entirely complete (I can only assume that what’s missing is life-size models of humans walking side-by-side with dinosaurs). Still, with your help they just may complete the project before the rapture.

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Date
20030911

Time
09:22
15-year-old dies after coaxing his friend to hit him in the head with a skateboard.

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Date
20030911
Riding High on Blogdex
Time
09:25
Everybody’s buzzing about the 12-year-old girl being sued by the RIAA. The case has been hurriedly settle to the tune of $2,000. The Register, Wired and Yahoo are all carrying stories.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030911
Yet Another Lame Quiz
Time
09:30
How Old is Your Inner Child? Mine is 6, as you can probably tell from the way I stamp my little feet. (Link now fixed. Cheers, Andy.)

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030911
Spam
Time
09:33
Spammers facing lawsuit from anti-spam groups wave white flag. Sorry, it’s not as simple as unsubscribing, as you should well know.

Also, a bold prediction: Why RSS Will Kill E-mail Publishing.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030911

Time
09:37
Larry Hovis (who did much more than just appear as Sgt. Carter in Hogan’s Heroes) has died aged 67.

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Date
20030911

Time
09:51
The FBI wants to know how a man manged to ship himself from New York to Dallas in a crate. You just want to know what the hell he was thinking. As it turns out, he could have flown first class for the same price.

Speaking of idiots locking themselves in boxes, here’s a sample of what Brits think of David Blaine’s latest stunt and here’s a new report about police question Blaine-botherers armed with laser pens.

OK, let me see if I’ve got this straight….

You can hurl insults, throw eggs, aim your bare breasts and hit golf balls at him, but you can’t point a beam of light at him. Erm, because sometimes lasers are attached to guns. In the movies.

A few days ago, I considered getting people to practice their bum-baring techniques on Mr Blaine, but he’s just not worth the effort.

UPDATE – Laser-weilding flashmob due to descend on Blaine tomorrow evening. I prefer the mirror idea, myself.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030911
11/9 (please note correct formatting of date)
Time
10:01
Well, here we are. Two years on. I don’t know about you, but it feels like a heck of a lot longer to me. The world has changed a lot, not for the better, and not entirely because of the acts of terrorists.

Chemical weapons ready to fire in 45 minutes? Impressive, if not at all true. I’m willing to bet that a certain blood-hungry halfwit could deploy nuclear weapons in 10.

George W. Bush is an idiot.

His administration is incompetent.

Rupert ‘The Evil One’ Murdoch is doing what he can to help…

…but they can’t hide everything.

BTW, considering how quickly such draconian laws were exploited here in the UK (and who they were used to control) you folks in the U.S. should be very worried about this.

UPDATE – You can now see an animated version of today’s picture over at B3ta.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030911

Time
10:21
Two tots crash family car on unauthorised McDonald’s run.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030911
Can Weblogs…?
Time
10:22
Well, Lidl have yet to be completely Watsoned, but it’s nice to know that someone is paying attention.

BTW, I know what the next ‘Can Weblogs…?’ project is going to be. It doesn’t involve politicians (well, not entirely) and it doesn’t involve nudity. You’ll love it. Trust me.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030911
Viral Marketing
Time
15:20
Xiao Xiao goes commercial! This one is so tasty, it may even take that bad taste out of your mouth. Cheers to Tim Howell for the heads-up.

UPDATE – Check out the international coverage on this. Heineken must be chuffed.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030912
How Weblogs Work
Time
09:23
It had to happen: Weblog raises money for 12-year-old girl sued by the RIAA. Like the Star Wars Kids fund, this isn’t endorsed by the victim, so pride could get in the way of things. Still, they’ve taken this into account. The link will probably top Blogdex before the day is out.

UPDATE – Andrew Hewitt has written in to point out that Wayne Rosso, president of P2P software development company Grokster, has also offered to pay the fine in full on her behalf.

OK, that’s the 12-year-old girl sorted. Can we maybe send something useful to Iraq now? Besides troops, I mean.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030912
Riding High on Blogdex
Time
09:25
I heard about this late yesterday via UKB and it’s already in the news. Blogger Pro features are now being integrated into the free version. Now all Typepad has going for it is sheer superiority – but that didn’t help the Beta format, now did it?

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Date
20030912

Time
09:33
New UK law could see teenagers imprisoned for heavy petting. Parents who ‘endorse’ such activity by, say, letting teenagers out of their sight for more than a few minutes, also face a 14-year jail term.

Perhaps AOL can help out with a bit of part-time child-minding.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030912
Christianity Watch
Time
09:44
At last! Undeniable proof that God exists! Sadly, without faith, he is nothing. Aaaand cue puff of smoke.

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Date
20030912
Spam
Time
09:47
Former Microsoft programmer wins $250,000 judgment against spammers.

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Date
20030912

Time
09:49
Sadly, I am unable to nip into a phone box and transform into Paperbaghead. Alls we got around here are plastic bags. Unless you buy a Happy Meal, I suppose.

Incidentally, McDonald’s caved into pressure from environmental lobbyists in Australia over a decade ago and now have more environmentally friendly packaging. In Australia. On a recent trip to the U.S. I noticed they’d finally made some positive changes there, too. So why no significant change here in the UK? Simple. They just don’t feel that they have to.

Perhaps someone with less on their plate would like to keep that in mind.

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Date
20030912

Time
09:54
I think I’ve just found a viable alternative to my trusty Converse All-Stars (Converse were recently bought by Nike, so I won’t be buying them anymore).

Introducing the blackspot Sneaker.

I’ll be sending my support and a few design requests later today.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030912
11/9 (please note correct formatting of date)
Time
10:20
I did a little more WTC-inspired work late yesterday, but an FTP snafu stopped me from uploading a blog-friendly version – so here it is today.

You can see the big version (released last night) over at this thread at B3ta.

Blogdex is lousy with Sept. 11 linkage this morning, so please excuse me while I do a quick rundown for the record:

The The September 11 Digital Archive was extremely well-linked, as was the tale of the falling man, but this collection of personal stories has more meat on its bones, as does this year-old collection of untoward feelings, which enjoyed a revival of sorts.

Many folks sent in a link to a photo-mosaic of George W Bush which they thought tied in neatly with the Bare Your Bum at Bush campaign. I wasn’t going to blog it, but as we’re all grown-ups here and it’s charting well at Blogdex anyway:

See a picture of George Bush made up of a variety of sphincters. In varying states of health (careful @ work, avoid @ lunch).

Incidentally, George couldn’t resist feeding off the terrorists yesterday, but finally the backlash has started. In fact, people are starting to ask all sorts of awkward questions.

Anyway, that’s it for the rundown. The anniversary has come and gone and we (mostly) survived unscathed. Perhaps now we can look forward to happier times, such as International Talk Like a Pirate Day, scheduled to take place next Friday.

UPDATE – The UK headquarters be here. Arrrrrr.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030912

Time
10:22
Tommy Chong has been sentenced to nine months in federal prison and fined $20,000 for selling drug paraphernalia over the Interwebnet. Replying “Dave’s not here, man!” failed to prevent a raid by the DEA.

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Date
20030912
Flash Games
Time
10:30
You’re a rabbit. Some damn fool has given you a gun. Your choice is clear. (Link via FunJunkie, who boast the usual collection of Friday games today.)

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Date
20030912

Time
10:32
Monty Python: The Musical! The end days are upon us, etc. etc.

Oh, while we’re on the subject, Joe Smith has emailed the following:

Yes! We’re all individuals! Is someone illegally cloning corporate-speak?

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Date
20030912

Time
10:37
Planned Blaine-lasering reaches mainstream media. Police are sure to be aware by now, so do watch your step and be prepared for a damp squib.

Incidentally, the mass-mooning of Bush will most probably have no timetable, no staging area, and no organisers. Just a lot of people up and down the country with their necessary equipment on stand-by.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030912

Time
10:41
Mmmm, some tasty links today. What flavour would you like – news censorship or social hygiene?

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Date
20030912
Doing The Rounds
Time
17:17
You’re bound to get a copy of this by email (assuming you haven’t already):

Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at an Elingsh uinervtisy, it deosn’t mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoetnt tihng is taht frist and lsat ltteer is at the rghit pclae. The rset can be a toatl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae we do not raed ervey lteter by it slef but the wrod as a wlohe.

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Date
20030913

Time
14:36
Christian advertising with hilarious results – or a silly own goal? This story had me smiling all the way through breakfast, even thought I did have other things on my mind.

Dead police, dangerous rumours, U.S. denials and missing bodies? This massacre is going to be very hard to explain away, but Paul Krugman thinks that this administration’s infallibility complex is going to lead to much, much worse in the future.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030914
Can Weblogs…? – Bare Your Bum at Bush!
Time
09:20
Scotland’s Sunday Herald reports on the Bare Your Bum at Bush campaign. Cheers to Stephen Naysmith for a cracking article and some serious coverage. I’m quite tickled that the Foreign Office declined to comment.

UPDATE – Public Support Wanes for Bush Foreign Policy. Oh dear, how can that be?

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030915
Lettters
Time
09:27
Just thought I’d share a glimpse or two of some recent email on this fine and sunny Monday morning…

Russell attended my recent search engine seminar. I’ve already found his new blog (I’m ever so sneaky) but I won’t be linking to it until he has a chance to play around and flesh it out a bit. I found this letter to be quite heartening, as it shows the pronounced effect weblogs can have when they bypass mainstream media and/or give access to a wider variety of same:

The link to the chap in Iraq is illuminating, to say the least and has helped to change

my perspective on the world generally, since I started to read all the blogs – cracking stuff!! I am desperate to start my own weblog and start getting actively involved in blogging, but am treading carefully, so as not to end up in a corner on my own!! You know, I never had a particularly strong view of Bush until this week, now I think he is a complete c… and a w….r !!!

As you know, I had some misgivings about what to say (and what not to say) about Sept. 11th. It looks like I found the right balance, at least at far as Y. Bee Normal is concerned:

Thanks for not being an asshole about 9/11. You just say the government is full of crap. You never said the people in there deserved it or minimized what they went through… I just get so angry when people say we deserved it. I know the people in Iraq didn’t deserve it and neither did we.

It seems like you are more interested in actually getting some stuff to change rather than laughing at other people’s suffering. I always read with interest what you have to say and will treat it seriously because I know this.

Sadly, I failed to reach everybody. Patrick McGuinness emailed in with a word or two from Texas. It was a long email, but here’s the guts of it:

Bush is the Churchill of the War of Terror. He will do what is right no matter what ignorant nay-sayers say, because this fight is too important not to win.

I for one am grateful that your PM Tony Blair “get’s it”, even if many of his fellow UK citizens do not. If you dont “get it”, keep your pants on, sit down and *watch* and *listen*, you might actually learn something from your betters.

The last word, however, must go to Jon Peace:

As an American citizen, I have just one thing to say about this…if he comes over to England, would you keep him…please!?

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Date
20030915

Time
09:29
The flashmob/lasering of David Blaine didn’t amount to much and there’s some rather unkind discussion about it over at Fark. I’ll keep my eye out for other reports today (if, indeed, there are any to be found – it sounds like no-one turned up). Me, I’m happy to go it alone, mono e mirror.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030915

Time
09:37
Behold the Pieces of Eight All Amputee Skydiving Team as they embrace gravity! The site is sadly short on copy, but it does take a moment to say: ‘These guys are not handicapped, they just come with some assembly required!’

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Date
20030915

Time
09:41
Next month is National Novel Writing Month. Apparently. I won’t be playing, but the FAQ may tickle you, advising as it does that this is a good idea because ‘if you don’t do it now, you probably never will’ and ‘aiming low is the best way to succeed’. Words to live by.

And no, I haven’t typed a bloody thing since my Dead Blog Holiday, but the opening chapter is an unrivalled work of art that I’m still happy to admire privately.

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Date
20030915

Time
09:48
The Different Methods of Defending Oneself with a Walking-Stick or Umbrella when Attacked under Unequal Conditions (PartI) Sorry, it has no bananas. (Link via TTR2.)

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Date
20030915

Time
09:50
My Reference links folder just grew by one with the inclusion of the Historical Atlas of the Twentieth Century. Cheers, Scott.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030915
It’s War! And Things Is Getting Ridiculous!
Time
09:52
The Onion’s still on the money: Saddam Proud He Still Killed More Iraqi Civilians Than U.S.

So far….

On that note, Hanging Day has a nice piece on recent happenings. Oh well. Omelettes, eggs and all that. At least they’ve returned the bodies and said ‘sorry’. That makes everything OK, right?

(Well, I can think of at least one blogger that may disagree…)

BTW, Bush is trying to keep an eye on the budget. Wounded U.S. soldiers have to pay for their own food.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030915
Micropayment
Time
10:04
Scott McCloud responds to Clay Shirky’s negative spin on micropayment. Sorry if this stuff bores you, but I’ve been thinking about it a lot lately.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030915

Time
10:12
Dodgy George W. Bush $200 bill successfully passed in North Carolina.

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Date
20030915
Riding High on Blogdex
Time
10:13
Technology has us in its thrall this morning: Mobile telephones could cause an entire generation to go prematurely senile, but at least we can all ride escalators into orbit. Now we just have to remember not to spit over the side.

Also getting a fair amount of attention is the RIAA petition which claims, quite rightly, that this strong-arm action is actually doing very little to benefit artists. The final word on this goes to Deadbrain.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030915

Time
10:20
Australia: home of the Big (insert object here).

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Date
20030915
Can Weblogs…? – Baring Your Bum at Bush
Time
10:22
For those who missed it, here’s yesterday’s article on bum-baring from Scotland’s Sunday Herald. Also, the Washington Post has some serious points for you to ponder on the subject of dwindling liberty.

And *ahem* this is a little bit embarrassing, but Koit has gone all-out to finish a music track in good time for the Bare Your Bum at Bush campaign, but I’ve just arrived at work to find a mountain of must-dos waiting for me. I don’t suppose there’s a stray flash developer out there who wants to make a nifty show to go with this? I won’t have time to do much more than scratch my left buttock before Thursday at the earliest.

UPDATE – George really must be more careful with his hand gestures. This one damn near gives the game away.

16-29 August, 2003

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Date
20030816

Time
13:27
Independent poll shows 25% of voters in favour of Lt. Gov. Cruz M. Bustamante. Arnie follows close behind at 22%. Poor old Gary Coleman doesn’t even appear to rate a single digit.

BTW, all the short-cuts made to bring this ridiculous recall in under budget have finally elicited a response from the folks who are supposed to authorise such changes to the voting system. Apparently they may act.

Altogether now: Ooooooooh!

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Date
20030816

Time
15:50
Bye-bye Idi Amin. I’m sure that history will forgive you.

You were, after all, merely a harmless buffoon who liked to play soldiers… right?

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030818
It’s War! And Things Is Getting Ridiculous!
Time
09:21
US unveils new secret weapon – photoshopping!

1. Using photoshopping for political ends? Damn, wish I’d thought of that. Devilishly clever, the U.S. Army.

2. I do hope that said army plans to seek the permission of the creators of these images before using them on the streets of Iraq.

3. I do hope that The Guardian sought of the permission creators of these images before using them on their front page.

4. I can’t help but wonder what would happen if an Iraqi citizen chose to put up posters of George Bush with breasts.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030818

Time
09:26
US troops shoot Reuters cameraman in Iraq. They mistook his camera for a rocket propelled grenade launcher. Easy mistake to make.

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Date
20030818

Time
09:28
Hanging Day on the possibility of U.N. reform. Read, learn and laugh out loud.

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Date
20030818

Time
09:31
Dale and his readers ponder the significance of the Universal Church of the Interactive Network.

Note to self: find out who this Lain fella is.

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Date
20030818

Time
09:33
The beginner’s guide to Sumo wrestling (link via TTR2).

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Date
20030818

Time
09:35
Homeless woman incarcerated for stealing a shopping cart. She spent a week in the cells before a journalist pointed out the obvious.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030818
The Big Blackout
Time
09:38
Power outage traced to dim bulb in the White House. Deregulation strikes again.

Also, see John Wehr’s photos of New Yorker’s aimlessly wandering the streets and read some tips from Iraqis for dealing with a blackout in hot conditions.

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Date
20030818

Time
09:46
Build a goddess in your own back yard. Remember, you’re not breaking the second commandment if you refer to it as an icon.

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Date
20030818

Time
09:49
Hospital elevator doors sever doctor’s head in freak accident.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030818
The Political Weblog Movement
Time
09:51
Tom Watson and Richard Allan have been interviewed by BBC Radio regarding the political effectiveness of weblogs. Yours truly also rated a mention. Cheers, Tom.

The content has been syndicated, thus the report from Elena that I scored airtime on Australian radio. An archived sound file should appear here later today.

I may be getting my wires crossed, but I’m pretty sure that this eventuated because of interest in Tom’s Teens page. This post from Tom seems to confirm that.

While we’re on the subject, Wibbler reports that FHM forgot to scroll down and included a link to the Teens page in their newsletter, citing it as genuine.

It amazes me that, with at least a dozen giveways in the text and now the new message at the bottom of the page, that this continues to fool people.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030818
Flash Games
Time
10:05
Throw things at your boss and go ‘Tony Martin’ on some intruders. Then do try to get some work done. The economy won’t fix itself.

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Date
20030818
It’s War! And Somebody’s Telling Porkies!
Time
10:08
The Guardian on biased reporting of the Hutton Inquiry.

Rupert Murdoch’s major rag The Sun is running a week-long feature on asylum seekers to keep the masses distracted, starting with this wonderful piece based on a survey of Sun readers. I’m sure you can guess what the results are.

UPDATE – Topping the Blogdex chart this morning is a right old Beeb-basher of an article. Find out what other bloggers are saying about it by clicking here or here.

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Date
20030818
Photoshopping
Time
10:54
Hehehe. Here’s a right-old blast from the past that I tripped over today when looking for images of anti-war protestors.

This week’s B3ta comp is the double-take challenge. I woke up with this in my head this morning (that’s why I had to go anti-war image surfing). It’s just been front-paged (read the related B3ta thread here).

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Date
20030818
Christianity Watch
Time
13:39
Almost forgot to blog this: Vatican ‘ordered abuse cover-up’

The initial spin is that this was for the good of the victims.

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Date
20030818

Time
17:32
Warren Ellis writes a book via a weblog! Bloody great, and only up to part 6 if you want to jump on board.

(Ellis is the author of Transmetropolitan, a downright tasty series of graphic novels. His main/personal weblog is here.)

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Date
20030818

Time
17:39
Be the geekiest kid on your block with a Star Wars credit card!

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Date
20030819
The Political Weblog Movement
Time
09:20
That radio interview with Tom Watson and Richard Allan is finally live at this page (NetNews 17/08/03 ).

Direct links to media files: Realplayer | WMV

Hehe. ‘Honestnessness’….?

Do excuse me, it was my first radio interview.

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Date
20030819
Only Interesting to Bloggers
Time
09:24
Harsh words, ill-advised posts, and a visit from Child Protective Services. It all looks very messy. I’m staying out of it.

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Date
20030819
Games
Time
09:31
Lemmings and zombies, death and disease. What a lovely way to start the day.

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Date
20030819

Time
09:46
Mark Wards gets in on the dangers of Word documents and, as Hanging Day points out, pads this summer story with superfluous technical cleveryness.

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Date
20030819

Time
09:52
A satellite image of NYC looking pretty dark.

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Date
20030819

Time
09:53
Single males ‘between the ages of 21 and 30 with a steady job, a love of children, strong morals, and no criminal baggage’ can feel free to audition for a chance to date this woman’s daughter. Think carefully before you do. Can you imagine what this woman would be like as a mother-in-law?

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Date
20030819
The Political Weblog Movement
Time
09:56
*sigh*

I’ve commented before on my doubts about Howard Dean being presented as Political Blogger Prime. That he rarely posts on his own damn site might suggest to some that he doesn’t quite get it.

Now, Howard Dean’s team has admitted to spamming.

To their credit, they’ve admitted the mistake (resulting from trusting a dodgy contractor) and seem pretty serious about not letting it happen again.

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Date
20030819

Time
10:02
If you’ve recently been overheard making disparaging remarks about George W. Bush that may or may not be feasibly construed as a threat, then take heart. With this handy guide to SWAT team hand signals, you’ll know exactly what the squad of black-clad government-approved gun-nuts on your front lawn are up to right up to the moment when they slap the cuffs on (or accidentally pop a cap in your ass).

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Date
20030819

Time
10:06
A criminal recently broke into a the home of an artist and found what he thought was a head in jar. He immediately informed the authorities. For the exciting conclusion to this story, tune into the BBC or Canada.com News.

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Date
20030819
Christianity Watch
Time
10:14
Ahahahahahahaha!

This quick study of Christian sex-education LPs is a fantastic find from The Ultimate Insult. The relevant MP3 files are pretty hefty, but Scott’s 100% on the money when he says that they’re worth the download.

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Date
20030819
Only Interesting to Bloggers
Time
10:16
RSS feeds, aggregators… * oh, sorry… I dropped off for a moment there.

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Date
20030819

Time
10:19
Hooray for the triumphant return of the Tasmanian tiger!

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Date
20030819
Yet Another Lame Quiz
Time
11:43
How Tolerant Are You? is a quiz meant to promote this campaign. They want to ‘get people of all faiths and none to give time to each other.’

Prince Naseem thinks it’s ‘wicked.’ In a good way.

1. The quiz is spread over two pages for some reason.

2. It hits you with an email capture function before you can get to your results.

3. Then, when it presents your results, it doesn’t allow you to show these on your website via a simple copy and paste mechanism. It does allow you to forward a link to another person by email via a pretty bog-standard referral tool, but that doesn’t let you automatically reveal your results, either.

This is not how the quiz format is supposed to work, people…

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Date
20030819
It’s War! And Somebody’s Telling Porkies!
Time
13:05
No 10 knew: Iraq no threat.

Downing Street chief of staff, Jonathan Powell, sent the following private warning a week before the dodgy dossier was released:

“We will need to make it clear in launching the document that we do not claim that we have evidence that (Saddam Hussein) is an imminent threat.”

Now, let’s look at what the world leaders had to say for themselves in the eve of war:

Tony Blair: “Iraq continues to deny that it has any weapons of mass destruction, although no serious intelligence service anywhere in the world believes it.”

Oh, really? What about our own intelligence service, then?

George W Bush: “Intelligence gathered by this and other governments leaves no doubt that the Iraq regime continues to possess and conceal some of the most lethal weapons ever devised.”

Other governments? Oh, that’ll be us then. Sorry, we were wrong. Actually, we were lying our asses off to help out our special-friends-in-need, but it certainly got the job done, didn’t it?

Stress levels rising. Red mist descending. Please pass the kittens.

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Date
20030819

Time
16:01
Blast hits UN building in Baghdad. It was a car-bomb, not a confused marine.

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Date
20030819

Time
17:22
It seems like every man and his dog wants to tell B3tans about the giant gerbil infestation in China. Trust me, they know.

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Date
20030820

Time
10:25
Some mornings it just doesn’t pay to get out of bed.

I have a hat-full of headaches today, so there’s going to be very little bloggage.

I would, however, like to draw your attention to the following shameless attempt by The Sun to downplay the importance of the Hutton Inquiry.

Oh, and do update and scan today. Judging by the number of virus attachments that arrived at my main email address this morning, at least a few of you seem to be infected with the Nachi worm (which bizarrely, seems to have been created to destroy the MSBlast virus). The Symantec profile on this is here.

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Date
20030820
Tony Blair’s Email: The Delivery!
Time
20:03

Well, how about that? I did it!

You can now email Tony Blair via this web page – and it only took 304 days, 17 hours, 44 minutes and 54 seconds to make it happen.

I’ve just sent the following email via the service:

Dear Tony,

Congratulations and welcome to the Interwebnet. You may get some stick about the web-based format and the front-end filtering on this email service, but I think it’s a damn fine idea.

I hope you enjoy the benefits of immediate feedback, and maybe even get a kick out of successfully answering the odd email or two.

All the best,

Tim Ireland

http://www.bloggerheads.com/

PS – OK, that’s game. I win. Now *you* get to make naked pictures of *me*.

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Date
20030820
Tim Ireland’s RSS: The Promise
Time
21:51
Fair comment.

OK, it will take a lot of effort to migrate to a new system to sort permalinks and what not, but I’m sure I can handle an interim RSS feed. Good enough?

Somebody showed me a sample via Sitescooper or something like that, but I’ll take any suggestions if you’ve got ‘em.

Fast, easy and effective. That’s all I ask.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030820
Tony Blair’s Email: The Delivery!
Time
22:35
Aaaand, KableNET are first with the story!

No mention of the campaign (funny, I sent them an angry email days ago) but this article does point out that the facility was ‘tested and developed (over) the past nine months.’

If Tim Yeo dares to poke his head above the parapet and take credit, I am going to be very upset and uncontrollably vocal about that.

Oh, has anyone else noticed how closely they followed my specifications? I’m having a quiet little think about that, let me tell you.

I can’t help but wonder how much of that £11,000 I’m entitled to…

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Date
20030821
Tony Blair’s Email: The Delivery!
Time
09:00

We did it!

You, me, and everybody else who linked, mailed, faxed and acted to support the 11-month-long campaign.

For those who missed the announcement late yesterday, you can now send an email to Tony Blair via the following URL:

http://www.number-10.gov.uk/output/Page821.asp

I was up until 2am sending ‘thank you’ emails to everybody who supported the campaign (if I’ve missed anyone, I do apologise).

Special thanks go out to the following people:

My local MP Sue Doughty, who tabled the first written question in Parliament.

Tom Watson, who backed the campaign in many ways (we deleted 9.1Mb of Tony Blair’s email in his office), tabled a follow-up question in parliament and was so inspired by the way we took action on this that he decided to join us in the blogosphere.

My two Downing St spies (who should probably remain anonymous), who provided vital inside information.

Kevin Marks, who provided us with the fantastic interim measure of an email-to-fax address.

And – last, but by no means least – Cherie Blair, who took the time to answer my email, was very sporting about the whole nude image thing, and whose timely influence helped me to (finally) get through to Tony’s interwebnet team.

Now, we move onto the small matter of the design of the service. It gets a chilly reception at The Guardian, along with the inevitable comparison to the recent changes at Dubya’s website, but if you take a close look at the specifications laid out back in January you’ll see that the new service pretty much follows these specs to the letter.

The specifications called for ‘a form format with a hidden destination,’ and this is precisely what they’ve delivered. I’m not sure what form the automated and direct replies take yet, but I’ll be watching very closely and will let you know as and when.

The specifications also contained the following recommendation:

“I accept that you don’t have time to read everything (or even close to 1% of it), this is why those who do deal with your email should classify each and every valid message according to the issue it addresses and the position it takes on this issue – then make a record of it (e.g. hunting-for, immigrants-against). A table can then be drawn up to give you a weekly overview of direct feedback. A simple program should suffice, but it will have to be reasonably intelligent, otherwise you might get the idea that a policy of hunting immigrants will win you the next election.”

The Downing St site, which actually has a modest filtering device on the front-end to start this process, also announces that:

“All e-mail messages are read and each month the Prime Minister receives a report on the issues raised, together with a representative sample of individual e-mails.”

That’s not only a damn fine result, it pretty much warrants an invoice.

Updates will follow throughout the day. Given that the release from Downing St makes it clear that work on this facility began in earnest 9 months ago, I can’t wait to see if Tim Yeo will dare to take the credit.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030821
Tony Blair’s Email: News and Linkage
Time
09:37
Heh. The BBC hasn’t mentioned it on their news site, but at least they’ve told the kids about it.

TTR2 is encouraging people to email Tony Blair today, as is Wibbler.

Hip-hips and huzzahs:

Bar Room Philosophy

Martin Lloyd’s MBA Experience

Ramblings and Revelations

Voxpolitics

Off On a Tangent

Slugger O’Toole

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Date
20030821

Time
09:55
Bride-rage ends in arrest! The story is great, and the accompanying mugshot is to die for.

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Date
20030821

Time
10:20
Pauline Hanson jailed for electoral fraud! My day just keeps getting betterer and betterer. (Link via this excellent entry at Bar Room Philosophy.)

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Date
20030821

Time
11:13
Sobig-F fastest growing virus ever. Ten scrubbed copies of this have arrived in my Inbox over the last hour alone. There were well over 100 that arrived yesterday.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030821
Search Engine Optimisation
Time
11:19
Yahoo prepares to dump Google. Testing is taking place via their Australian portal, which will surprise a few bods who expected this to take place in the UK first.

Don’t expect change anytime soon. If the Inktomi database isn’t up to scratch, this could take a while.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030821

Time
12:14
The Guardian has launched a new weblog with a great central porpoise.

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Date
20030821
Riding High on Blogdex
Time
12:33
I’ve checked today’s blog with the Gender Genie and I’m sure you’ll be happy to know that I don’t write like a complete girl. (Unless of course you test any of my articles or campaign pages. For some strange reason, these ooze oestrogen.)

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Date
20030821
Tony Blair’s Email: News and Linkage
Time
13:12
ZDNet – Prime minister gets email: “The news is seen as a personal triumph for Tim Ireland, an Internet enthusiast who has spent the last three years campaigning for the prime minister to become an email user.”

Inches and linkage. Result!

Of course, the core campaign has only been running for 11 months, but I’m sure we can forgive minor inaccuracies on such a happy, happy day.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030821
Tom Watson: Campaign Hijacker
Time
14:22
ITV reports on the launch of the service and gives credit to Tom Watson.

*What*?!

Right, nude images of Tom start in 5, 4, 3, 2…

(Yes, I’m kidding. This isn’t the first time Tom’s comments have been edited to remove vital big-ups and name-checks. That’s one of the reasons why the man runs a weblog.)

UPDATE – Oh, I do love the arrogance of established media. From the same release by Tom comes this piece from the BBC. Please note that, as a mere mortal, I am deemed unworthy of a name-check on the BBC website. And rightly so.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030821
It’s War! And Somebody’s Telling Porkies!
Time
14:42
Bogus Blair, Bogus Bush: “For the most part, American media is doing a lousy job of following the British investigation of how Blair and his aides spun the case for war with Iraq. From a journalistic standard, that’s bizarre because the story of official deceit in Britain is also the story of official deceit in the United States.”

Well said, that man.

UPDATE – Today, the Hutton Inquiry revealed David Kelly predicted back in February that he would be ‘found dead in the woods’ if Iraq was invaded.

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Date
20030821
Photoshopping
Time
15:35
I’m in a jolly good mood today. Does it show?

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030822

Time
09:46
Bloody hell! 130 copies of SoBig waiting for me this morning – at 100Kb a time. One can only imagine how this is crippling the network. It must be hell for modem users, too.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030822

Time
09:49
Popmates – pick your favourite album, movie and book and find a partner. A neat idea, but where’s the function that lets me seek out people who hate the stuff I like? I think that’s where the secret of true love lies.

My wife and I have a great partnership, but she hates it when I play Sgt. Pepper over and over, she can take or leave Star Wars and I’ve never been able to get her to read 1984.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030822

Time
09:58
Your Marketing Sucks! Heh. A snappy title, and the manifesto looks pretty good. I may just buy a copy. (Link via Off On a Tangent.)

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030822
A Blog Is Born
Time
10:14
This new blog from Iraq comes highly recommended from Hanging Day. It even got a heads-up from Salam Pax.

From a comment on the bombing of the UN building:

“You know what? Something like this could never happen to the Ministry of Oil. The Ministry of Oil is being guarded 24/7 by tanks and troops. It has been guarded ever since the fall of Baghdad and will continue under Bremer’s watchful eye until every last drop of oil is gone.”

This entry will chill you to the bone.

Ignore me for the rest of the day. Go and read her instead.

If you need it, Hanging Day have even taken the the initiative and sorted out an RSS feed. Enjoy.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030822

Time
12:36
PRESS RELEASE

After an 11-month campaign to bring about a serviceable public email facility for Tony Blair, marketing consultant Tim Ireland has decided to invoice Downing Street for his contribution to the development of the service.

“The campaign went well beyond a simple demand for the service,” said Ireland, “the aim was to bring about a truly viable and beneficial solution and to that end I provided a lot of information about how that could be best achieved.”

Ireland was in an excellent position to do so. Via a quirk in search engine results, a hoax address he created in 2000 started getting regular email intended for the PM, which provided an excellent overview of how a simple published address would be used – and abused – by the public.

In January, he submitted to Downing Street (and published on his weblog at bloggerheads.com) full specifications for a workable service, including recommendations for a web-based interface, subject filtering and weekly reports to be reviewed by the PM.

The new service uses a web-based interface with subject filtering and monthly reports to be reviewed by the PM.

“I’m very happy that an efficient facility has finally been put into place,” said Ireland via his weblog, “This new system is beneficial to the public and to Tony Blair, at minimal cost to the taxpayer. It’s a very well-conceived system, and I should know. I conceived it.”

The £2000 invoice submitted to Downing St is for ‘provision of specifications for Tony Blair’s email facility,’ but adds that there is ‘no charge’ for ‘provision of impetus.’

Tom Watson, a Labour MP, active blogger and valued supporter of the campaign, said: “There is a remarkable similarity between Mr Ireland’s proposal and the format of the new Downing Street email facility. At the very least he deserves credit for coming up with a very good solution to a difficult IT problem.”

The small matter of simple recognition appears to be on Tim Ireland’s mind as well. The invoice he faxed to Downing Street closes by saying that ‘an official statement from Downing St acknowledging my contribution to the project will be accepted in lieu of payment.’

Links and Contacts

New email service for Tony Blair:

http://www.number-10.gov.uk/output/Page821.asp

Original specifications:

http://www.bloggerheads.com/x-archive.asp?viewblog=20030120&date=20/01/03

Campaign:

http://www.bloggerheads.com/can_weblogs/tony_blair.asp

Please refer any questions about this press release to manic@bloggerheads.com

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Date
20030822

Time
14:31
SoBig update: Organised criminals marry spam and viruses.

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Date
20030822
Flash Music Video
Time
15:56
Stickman: Weapon of Choice is… sorry, I just don’t have the words for it. Turn your speakers on and click for yourself. (Link via the B3ta newsletter.)

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Date
20030823
Updates
Time
18:50
My Photoshopping gallery has now (finally) been updated from a sequential selection to a categorised one. I wasted an entire Saturday afternoon on it, but it may be rough in places. Watch your step.

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Date
20030825

Time
09:10
Australian readers: If you have a copy of yesterday’s Sun Herald, please hang onto it. I may be requesting a scan of the Sports section tomorrow.

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Date
20030825

Time
09:18
Cackhanded ‘viral’ marketing from the music industry? Heaven forfend.

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Date
20030826

Time
09:09
Connection… slow… downloading.. *ungh* purging… 702… copies… of.. SoBigvirus… from… mailserver!

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Date
20030826
How Weblogs Work
Time
09:12
An associate of mine brought an online diarist to my attention when that diarist made a mention of Tony Blair’s email late last week. His email address was published on his site, so I sent him a copy of my press release.

He got in touch with Tom and myself yesterday an not only published a short write-up, but also got in touch – via Tony Blair’s new email facility – to ask how likely it would be that I would actually get any form of recognition for my input.

I’ve got a crazy feeling that this diarist is more likely that you or I to get a reply. And when you see the diary entry you’ll know why.

Inches and action? Heh. I love it.

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Date
20030826
Only Interesting to Bloggers
Time
09:15
See blog entries pop up across the globe in real time. (Fabbo link via TTR2.)

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Date
20030826
Photoshopping
Time
09:17
The launch of the revamped and – finally – categorised photoshopping collection has caused yet another revival of the Star Wars Photoshopping Project. I even got a couple of (v.good) suggestions over the weekend for the first time in a long time. Funny what a little context will do.

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Date
20030826
Riding High on Blogdex
Time
09:20
Greg Dyke, director general of the BBC, has announced plans to give the public full access to all the corporation’s programme archives.

There’s an excellent piece on this over at Hanging Day, which is also charting well.

Oh, but it bears mentioning that your personal share of the archive – if stored on a recordable CD – may not last as long as you think.

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Date
20030826

Time
09:24
Texas man has wallet returned. It was found in Okinawa – where he lost it in 1957.

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Date
20030826
Christianity Watch
Time
09:28
Autistic 8-year-old boy dies when smothered by sheets during prayer service. They were trying to exorcise the ‘evil spirits’ responsible for his condition.

Not that all American are religious nutbags, but I’ve wondered aloud in the past how a country built on the idea of the separation church and state should be so ruled by religion.

Well, not just religion. Rupert ‘The Evil One’ Murdoch provides several state-approved channels for the heathens, too.

Can I just take this opportunity to apologise for Rupert again on behalf of all Australians? We really are ever so sorry that he got out. Someone left the gate open during the daily feeding. Of virgin’s blood.

UPDATE – Oops. I forgot to be fair and balanced:

Muslim girls in Norway are not allowed to ride bicycles. Blame ignorance, not Islam.

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Date
20030826

Time
09:39
Coke and Pepsi deny ‘removing’ logos painted on Himilayas by simply slapping a new coat of paint over them.

While we’re guzzling branded soft-drinks, pop over and have a peek at Richard’s Can Universe. Richard can look at a can of Coke from fifty paces and tell you which country it comes from. That’d be a great party trick… if he ever left the house.

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Date
20030826

Time
09:48
Do you have loud conversations on the tube? Look out – this man eavesdrops.

Pick of the day before the day before yesterday:

“That Dominic Mohan was on my tube. He reads all the papers at once. And he has an i-pod. He smells a bit.”

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Date
20030826

Time
09:52
A Queer Girl’s Top 10 Gay Myths

You go, girl! BTW, I’m on your side and all, but we do have to talk about this whole ‘we own the rainbow’ thing. The Bible did kind of get there first by branding it as God’s promise never to destroy the world by flood again (so, famine fire or pestilence next time, is it?) and it really was quite cheeky to hijack it as your own personal logo.

Why not use kittens instead? Everybody loves them, and they’re ever so fluffy. Oh, and they eat fish (so if you’re a gay Christian, you can have an exciting chase scene on your car window or bumper).

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Date
20030826
Tony Blair’s Email: The Delivery!
Time
10:19
Watch Shout99 give the service a test-run.

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Date
20030826

Time
10:20
This is an interesting development: creative whoring for fun and profit, aimed squarely at the Farker market. ‘People like to laugh… apparently.’

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Date
20030826

Time
10:49
This story is mainly about the flak the new Acropolis museum is getting, but what makes me smile is the British Museum being kind enough to consider the remote possibility of loaning the Elgin marbles – named not after their creator but the guy who stole them – back to the people we stole them from. On a temporary basis. Perhaps. (Link via ionica.)

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Date
20030826

Time
14:55
Is Yahoo! entering the blogfight with a competing service? And, if so, will it really blow as much as they promise it will?

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Date
20030826
The Ship/Fan Interface
Time
16:05
Origin of 45-min claim revealed – and it wasn’t made up by Gilligan.

Corporations played a large role in developing President Bush’s energy policy – and, at a guess, we’re probably not supposed to know about that.

Hands up everybody who’s sick to death of being lied to and cheated with an increasing amount of cheek….

Thought so.

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Date
20030826

Time
17:07
One of the world’s biggest ever trade fairs for guns, bombs, military planes, small arms, mines and tanks is taking place in London from 9th – 12th September 2003.

From the boycott site we get this wonderful titbit of information:

“The last DSEi exhibition took place over 11th September 2001, the day of the attacks on New York and Washington in America. While many businesses around the world closed, the arms fair stayed open. For three more days, countries including America, Israel and 14 different Arab nations continued to shop, side-by-side, for weapons to attack each other with!”

Warms the heart, doesn’t it?

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Date
20030827

Time
09:30
Running out of disk space. Have to clear the decks. With you in a mo…

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Date
20030827
Tim Yeo Speaks!
Time
09:31
Reportage over at the FT continues, and they’ve not only taken Tim Yeo to task over the shameless hijacking of the original campaign, they’ve also managed to squeeze a quote out of the man:

“I thought of the idea independently. From what I have heard of what he has been doing, I don’t think there would be any benefit in contacting him.”

1. I thought of the idea independently…

Then he’s either a liar or a fool. The most cursory search for information about Tony Blair’s email address and what action had been taken to date would have been necessary before pulling a stunt like this, surely. Such a search would have brought up numerous references to this website.

2. From what I’ve heard he has been doing…

Heard? Heard? You’re just peripherally aware of it then are you, Tim? Your arse is too far off the ground to be worried about such petty concerns? Wrong. You and I both know that you’ve been watching this action closely all along, and denying its importance and your awareness makes you look like an arrogant tosser.

3. I don’t think there would be any benefit in contacting him…

I got in touch with Tim Yeo a full week before I took any action. (You can check my archives from 11 June 2003 onwards to confirm this.) All I wanted was an answer to my email. Then it became clear that – just like Downing St – he thought that the most prudent course of action would be to pretend that I didn’t exist. From that point on, I was after an apology. A promise was made that all activity would cease the moment he apologised. Kind offers were made time and again. If you take note of this kind offer of amnesty you’ll note that it asks a number of things of Tim Yeo. The one thing he did do was take on board my suggestion that he actually table a question in parliament on the matter. He submitted a question the day after this entry – and milked the resulting answer for yet more publicity. While still pretending that I didn’t exist. He’s made a right tit of himself all along and it’s there for all to see. No benefit? There were benefits from Day One – and benefits remain. If he doesn’t want me stalking him right up until the next election, all he has to do is talk to me like a human being.

Finally, we have this:

“Yeo too, is launching his own website in the autumn.”

It won’t save you, Tim. People don’t navigate by URL, they navigate via search engines – and I’m going to be there every step of the way with alternative reports. You’ve got my details. Get in touch.

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Date
20030827

Time
09:49
Hooray for Slim Goodbody, Super Hero of Health!

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Date
20030827
Wedding Bells
Time
09:51
Wrong stripper turns up late to bachelorette party and gets beaten up by bride-to-be’s mother. He was covering for a mate, did a lousy job (a short performance with not enough love for the hen) and got bruises, scratches and head injuries for his troubles.

Wedding guest bites off man’s finger. He also smeared cake on a 9-year-old boy and knocked a 49-year-old woman out cold.

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Date
20030827
Only Interesting to Bloggers
Time
09:58
Yahoo introduces RSS feeds.

On the subject of (ahem) my overdue RSS feed (here’s an RSS primer for the uninitiated), we have a minor technical hitch. The format I’m using does not have code denoting the start and finish of any given post. IT also names post as 1, 2, 3, etc. instead of 01, 02, 03. This is why things turn out so higgledy-piggledy in the archive.

The original developer is long-gone, and I just don’t have the ASP hummus required to fix this kind of thing myself.

Right now I’m quietly considering my options.

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Date
20030827
Photoshopping
Time
10:06
A veritable cornucopia of wonderfully naff retro images for you to use and abuse (link nabbed from ultimateinsult.net).

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Date
20030827
Summertime News
Time
10:08
British Romans in fashion faux-pas shock! Socks and sandals? No wonder the Empire crumbled.

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Date
20030827

Time
10:10
A pocket lexicon of teen lingo. Here’s a tip: why not just use words from your shared vocabulary?

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Date
20030827

Time
10:14
Find out when you can get a good peek at Mars. A £5 bet on overcast conditions in Britain tonight….

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Date
20030827

Time
10:16
The number of American troops killed in postwar Iraq now exceeds the number killed during the intial conflict. Is is still too early to start using the ‘V’ word?

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Date
20030827

Time
10:18
Government scientists in the 1950′s, curious to know how we would hold up under a nuclear attack, drew up secret plans to sell radioactive meat to the public. It’s not revealed whether the plan was put into action, but given that these documents were scheduled for release in 1972 and they haven’t seen the light of day until now, I’d say the chances are pretty bloody good.

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Date
20030828
Christianity Watch
Time
09:23
Ten Commandments monument moved. I watched Alabama Chief Justice Roy Moore speak out on TV last night. It scared me. The quote given at this CNN report doesn’t do the reception of his statement justice, so here’s the full version including crowd responses just for you. No, this isn’t a joke:

It is a sad day in our country… Praise Jesus! …when the moral foundation of our law… Speak it, brother! …and the acknowledgment of God… Hallelujah! …has to be hidden from public view… Amen! …to appease a federal judge. Go tell it on the mountain!

(OK, so maybe I made that last one up.)

UPDATE – In Tarrant County, Texas a lone protestor is demanding the removal of a statue of a sleeping panther on the grounds that it is a pagan image.

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Date
20030828
Photoshopping
Time
09:31
The infection… it spreads!

Thanks to Martin, we have a nifty scan of this unexpected tangent to the Star Wars Photoshopping Project from the 24 Aug edition of Sydney’s Sun Herald. The chap featured is Willie Mason. They appear to be making fun of his new hair-do.

Incidentally, I knocked out a fresh entry to the gallery yesterday after an excellent suggestion from Lewis Henson that I do The Matrix. You can see the result here.

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Date
20030828

Time
09:43
A handy find from The Ultimate InsultJetable offers disposable email, ideal for signing up to forums, making one-off Usenet posts, etc.

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Date
20030828

Time
09:45
Canada bans passport smiles. You must wear ‘a neutral expression.’ At all times. But think happy thoughts… happy thoughts… happy thoughts…

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Date
20030828

Time
09:52
Holiday Inn has declared today to be Towel Amnesty Day. A cold-hearted marketing monster pretending to be human, but fun all the same. After all, they don’t want their towels back, they just want you to tell them why you stole it. 25 100% legal souvenir towels are up for grabs for the best stories. (What, no shampoo or shower caps?)

As an added nicey-nicey touch, a crisp American dollar goes to charidee for each story told.

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Date
20030828

Time
10:03
Would-be pig thief brutally murdered. He was quite literally butchered like a hog.

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Date
20030828

Time
10:05
From the man who brought you claims that the U.S. Air Force flew Saddam out of Iraq comes this report about new American ‘super tanks’ used in Iraq that shoot fire and lightning.

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Date
20030828

Time
10:09
Mother charged after buying beer for her teenage son and friends and putting on a strip show for them. It was to make up for ‘a failed birthday trip to ride go-carts.’ The Smoking Gun has the paperwork. Me, I’m dying to see the mugshot.

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Date
20030828

Time
10:12
Guerilla Parenting (via TTR2).

I love this bit:

“Warning: Police may confuse your activities with illegal grafitti vandalism.”

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Date
20030828
Follow Up
Time
10:14
Former POW Jessica Lynch honorably discharged from Army. Sadly, they didn’t send a SWAT team in to stage a brave rescue from the Camden-Clark Memorial Hospital – but you’ll be happy to know that publishers are lining up with book deals.

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Date
20030828

Time
10:17
Germaine Greer is scheduled give a public lecture at the Department of Film, Television and Media Studies at the University of Auckland. The only problem is that she faces arrest upon entering New Zealand for swearing during an Auckland Town Hall meeting. In 1972.

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Date
20030828
Flash Games
Time
10:20
Bomb Bandits! (via FunJunkie). I sniggered at the name, but sucked at the game.

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Date
20030828
It’s War! And Somebody’s Telling Porkies!
Time
11:04
You may want to read the full story of Tony’s time in power before taking a peek at what some think will be the final chapter. This latter page is sure to feature update links and/or partial transcripts later today. A full transcript should be available via the Hutton Inquiry website sometime this evening.

Bring forth the interrogation droid!

UPDATE – Dossier wasn’t case for war says Blair. This BBC page also has a link to a blow-by-blow account.

UPDATE – A fine analysis of Tony’s lawyerspeak from Hanging Day. It’s not the first time he’s played the ‘exteremly serious’ card, and I seem to remember a certain document used as a central device in the justification for war not only by us, but the US as well.

Oh, and there’s a few thoughts from Bar Room Philosophy that you may wish to consider.

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Date
20030828

Time
15:41
Smoking Gun uncovers 1977 interview with Arnold Schwarzenegger. It’s fruity stuff. You may have to lower your chair.

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Date
20030829

Time
09:20
The site’s been down since about 6:00pm (GMT) last night. Sorry about that. One of our hamsters died. I woke up to find him dead on the wheel, the poor chap.

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Date
20030829
Tony Blair’s Email: News and Linkage
Time
09:21
The Guardian: TonyBlair@onlineatlast.gov.uk No name-check, but a mighty fine URL-check. It also contains a minor inaccuracy. I didn’t target Cherie to make her get in touch. I started with nude images of Tony then, when his office continued to ignore me, I started on Cherie. It was then that someone piped up with some solid e-mail addresses for the First Lady.

Note – if you’re a first-time visitor, you can read more about this exciting chapter by clicking here for the closing stages of the campaign. Alternatively, you can simply check out the archived weblog entry from the day I emailed her, which has a full transcript of the email sent and a very rare image for you to enjoy from the comfort of your own web shed.

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Date
20030829
Arrogance of Established Media
Time
09:26
The Mirror has swiped online content yet again by picking up the Arnie story blogged yesterday and giving zero credit to The Smoking Gun who originally unearthed and published the 1977 interview.

You can voice your displeasure here, or get in touch with their i-blog team (they don’t have many friends, so will be happy to hear from someone by email).

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Date
20030829

Time
09:35
Revealed: How RIAA tracks downloaders. Step One appears to be kicking your door down and seizing your computer.

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Date
20030829

Time
09:40
Today, it’s cold and miserable. Again. And I love it! I can’t wait to get home tonight and curl up in my burlap sack under the bridge. The bad news is that the cold weather has driven the flies indoors here at work. However, I brought a flyswatter in yesterday morning and we’ve got the little buggers on the run. I killed two with one blow yesterday when they stopped for a shag on top of my monitor. Please raise your coffee cups in a toast to dying happy.

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Date
20030829
Follow Up
Time
09:43
That bride who went on a drunken rampage has been fined $90 for creating a public disturbance. Shouldn’t her parents pay that fine?

(Also via romenesko’s Obscure Store… read about the man who published a fake obituary to get out of a court appearance.)

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Date
20030829

Time
09:48
Powerskip! A new German sport that lets you dance around like a cyber-enhanced fairy.

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Date
20030829

Time
09:50
Harrison Ford blasts US Iraq policy. Mind you, he waited until he was out of the country before he did so. The big baby.

In other news, Halliburton, the company formerly headed by Vice President Cheney, has won contracts worth more than $1.7 billion under Operation Iraqi Freedom. That’s far more than was originally claimed, and there’s more in the pipeline. So to speak.

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Date
20030829
Flash Music Video
Time
09:54
MTV roll out the Dancing Paul format yet again for God Save The Queen (link via TTR2).

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Date
20030829
Yet Another Lame Quiz
Time
09:57
The Jedi Test is a perfect example of how to suck all the value out of the personality quiz format.

Personal publishing is on the rise, largely thanks to a new format that allows people to express themselves through their discoveries. Personality quizzes go right to the heart of this (which is why they’ve played such a big part in the weblog explosion).

Where, may I ask, is the feature in this particular quiz that allows participants to display the results on their site and in doing so link to the quiz?

Some people never learn.

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Date
20030829

Time
10:07
Tour locations in London as featured in PS2′s Getaway. A fantabulous find from The Ultimate Insult.

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Date
20030829

Time
10:08
A new variation of the SoBig virus must have just kicked into gear. It’s been all quiet for the last 12 hours, and now they’re coming in thick and fast again.

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Date
20030829
Rupert ‘The Evil One’ Murdoch
Time
10:10
Al Franken talks about his big victory over the Fox News bullies.

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Date
20030829

Time
10:11
Are we really to good guys? Of course not – we just have a better publicity machine. Too bad it’s mostly internal. Y’see, this is why a lot have people have no qualms about blowing us up.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030829
Friday Feedback
Time
10:32
The moment Downing St comes good on this invoice or due credit for the design of the email service I think we can pretty much call it a day on this long-running Can Weblogs…? project. The senatorial weblog campaign Can Weblogs Go To Washington? is still ticking along, but I think there’s room for another one if there’s a quick win up for grabs.

I’m open to suggestions, people. The word ‘we’ is not used in the royal sense. Emails to the usual address.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030829

Time
11:31
My recent efforts have just been reviewed in Swedish. Would anybody care to translate? The credit link leading to this prayer has me ever so curious…

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Date
20030829

Time
12:18
FBI reported to be questioning 18-year-old suspect in the U.S. about the authorship of a later version of MSBlast (link via loving the alien). I’d be more impressed if they caught the rotten buggers behind SoBig, but as these guys look to be actual criminals (by and large smarter than your average attention-starved teenager), I’m not holding my breath.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030829
Photoshopping
Time
13:50
The latest B3ta challenge just went live: Hollywood Premakes (how would current movies would look if made in the past).

I’ve only got time for one entry today, but it’s ever so user-friendly and you can see it here.

UPDATE – Front-page action! Huzzah!

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030829

Time
14:40
Steady on, fellas…

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Date
20030829

Time
15:47
Alastair Campbell is to resign as the government’s director of communications and strategy. (Thanks to Wibbler for the heads-up.) That’s one down…

UPDATE – make what you will of the BBC being so ready with an obituary, or drop by this page to leave a comment.

Best comment so far:

“Well he says he’s resigning. Have we had this confirmed by more than one source?”

01-15 August, 2003

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030801

Time
09:12
Government-commissioned report reveals how terrorists can best destroy Australia. This may seem like a shoot-yourself-in-foot moment, but the report does not detail any plans to halt the beer supply, and as such appears to be deliberately flawed.

UPDATE – This information is soooo sensitive, the newspaper wasn’t allowed to include the URL or the authors’ name. Too bad a direct quote from the report allowed me to find it in about 30 seconds.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030801

Time
09:16
Behold Seyed, the religious prophet of many (domain) names.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030801

Time
09:17
Six injured in freak milk-separating machine accident at Freeborn County Fair.

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Date
20030801

Time
09:18
He left court ‘without a stain on his character’ according to the judge, but you and I know that mud sticks and whispers will continue. Watch John Leslie’s statement after the decision. It looked and felt genuine to me. Give that man a weblog!

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030801
Does What It Says On The Tin
Time
09:20
Scott woke up one morning wondering what would happen if he wore a nametag everyday. See the drama and intrigue unfold at www.hellomynameisscott.com (via Ultimate Insult).

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030801
Anyone but George
Time
09:23
Dubya discusses top priorities for the U.S. You may want to read the immediate reaction to this:

“I believe in the sanctity of marriage. I believe a marriage is between a man and a woman. And I think we ought to codify that one way or the other. And we’ve got lawyers looking at the best way to do that.”

At times like this, you really have to ask yourself if there can be an effective separation of church and state when there’s a religious zealot in office. Especially when he seems to be adopting strategic stances to win votes from certain religious communities.

Also, Charlotte sent the following link in this morning:

The Emperor Has No Flight Suit!

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Date
20030801

Time
09:38
Wired: The Case for Terrorism Futures

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Date
20030801

Time
09:41
Vandal wears high-heels to disguise getaway footprints. Too bad he was spotted wearing the heels and police found an abandoned pair of tennis shoes at the scene of the crime.

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Date
20030801

Time
09:44
Sex with stranger costs $37,500

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Date
20030801
Christianity Watch
Time
09:45
Over Three Hundred Proofs of God’s Existence. Well, that’s me told, then.

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Date
20030801

Time
09:47
I hate when I have an idea, don’t act on it, and then see it (poorly) executed by somebody else.

I wanted my evil fortune cookies to be produced for real (instead of on a website with two Amazon affiliate links). I contacted the three major producers of fortune cookies in the UK, and all of them turned the idea down as wholly inappropriate.

Bummer.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030801
Tony Blair’s Email
Time
09:57
You may have noticed that – after months of campaigning – I pretty much backed off on the whole Tony Blair email thing when war broke out. I had what I considered to be a pretty solid promise of delivery, and it was pretty obvious that they weren’t about to launch it at a time when the system was likely to be immediately overloaded.

Now, however, we have the promised delivery date of ‘during August,’ and guess what? It’s August! I’ll be watching matters very closely. They have 31 days.

You people have seen me cut loose before. It’s not pretty. Here’s hoping for the best.

UPDATE – Like it or not, it looks like Alastair Campbell is headed for the chop. To nominate me as his replacement, get in touch with Tony’s communications dept. the old-fashioned way or send them a message via this email-to-facsimile address.

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Date
20030801
The Political Weblog Movement
Time
10:15
David Weinberger is now ‘Senior Internet Advisor’ for Howard Dean. Well done, you. Here’s hoping we see more posts from the man himself as a result. (Link magically discovered via Technorati, which revealed this post at Das E-Business Weblog.)

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Date
20030801
Can Weblogs…?
Time
12:46
Can Weblogs Go To Washington? was the question we asked. The main drive was to get a blogging facility requested and installed at senate.gov but, as Steve has kindly informed us, Senate minority leader Tom Daschle planning to start a blog regardless of this current lack of publishing format.

Can weblogs go to Washington? Ladies and gentlemen, they have officially arrived, and the very first post can be found here.

We still want Movable Type or a bloody good equivalent installed at senate.gov, though – and you can still help to make that happen – but it looks like I’ll need another Can Weblogs…? project soon.

Currently I’m toying with the idea of getting JPEG Baby to the top of the charts.

It’s Friday. Send feedback.

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Date
20030801
Photoshopping
Time
16:01
The Guardian is having a design your own sculpture for Trafalgar Square’s fourth plinth competition thingy.

If I can’t have George Orwell, I want one of these. (Click here for a larger version.)

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Date
20030802

Time
07:45
Ronald (Ronnie) Scelson is in the news again, defending the indefensible.

And lo, Ronnie did see ISPs filtering known spam, and did crawl out from under his rock and proclaim:

“There’s no right for them to decide and destroy what belongs to you. Whether you want it or not is your decision, not the carriers.”

Reach out and touch the man. You know you want to.

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Date
20030804

Time
08:58
Jesus used Marijuana? No wonder he was so good at the old ‘loaves and fishes’ trick. They didn’t have 7-11s in them days.

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Date
20030804
Follow Up
Time
09:00
That chap who stole a bus, took it on its normal route and collected passengers and fares has been at it again.

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Date
20030804
Flash Thingies
Time
09:04
Keep your parents off the Internet! Scott’s right… it is slightly amusing.

I had an interesting moment with my Mum yesterday, when calling Australia about this and that. I wanted to show her that cool search result for ‘love song’… and please keep in mind that this was moments after her comment that she sometimes find content at Bloggerheads disturbing.

“Ah yes, but we’re doing good things, Mother. Pop along to Google…”

“Yes…”

“Enter the search query ‘love song’…”

“OK, here come the results..”

“Do you see it there at number 4?”

“Oh yes, ‘JPEG Baby’…. what is that?”

“You mean you haven’t heard ‘JPEG Baby’ yet?”

“No.”

“OKseeyouMumloveyoubye.”

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030804

Time
09:13
Read a discussion about religion prompted by a link to the Universal Church of the Interactive Network.

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Date
20030804
Riding High on Blogdex
Time
09:15
Did Bob Hope ever say anything funny? You’ll find the range of comments about this piece and its author far more interesting than the article itself.

Also, the preview release launch of TypePad today has most people’s attention.

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Date
20030804

Time
09:18
Meg Ryan to star in violent, sexually explicit thriller. I hope it’s not too violent; skinny actresses of a certain age have a tendency to snap like dry kindling.

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Date
20030804
Photoshopping
Time
09:21
Fark theme: Photoshop President Bush snickering.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030804
The Political Weblog Movement
Time
09:24
Following this announcement we hear news that Howard Dean is to drive his ‘grass roots’ campaign via television advertising. Please note the addition of inverted commas, now made necessary by the use of mass communication.

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Date
20030804

Time
09:34
HangingDay: Five predictions about the David Kelly enquiry.

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Date
20030804
Anyone but George
Time
09:35
Less than half of US would vote to return Bush to White House: poll Yes, but less than half got him into the White House in the first place.

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Date
20030804
Funny, That…
Time
09:37
Senator fuming over gay marriage order. Says Rome should have more respect for America’s long-held separation of church and state.

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Date
20030804

Time
09:40
Boulder librarians deleting user databases to protest the Patriot Act.

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Date
20030804
Viral Marketing
Time
09:43
Justin Kirby edges dangerously close to the truth about viral marketing. Still no mention of the SEO factor, though – and he really shouldn’t have mentioned Fark or B3ta. Now they’ll be inundated with commercial crap for the next three weeks running.

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Date
20030804

Time
09:48
John Leslie – Should he have been given anonymity?

I picked up a stray copy of the Daily Mail on Saturday. Always a mistake. They went straight for the man’s jugular, with 8 pages dedicated to exposing his evil nature. My favourite informed/expert opinion started with: “I never met John Leslie, but I certainly know his type…”

UPDATE – And here’s a picture, boys and girls…

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Date
20030804

Time
10:51
Hoon under fire as holiday clashes with Kelly funeral. Tony Blair will also be out of the country on the day (sunning himself in lovely Barbados). According to some papers, Janice Kelly has said that neither of them would be welcome anyway, but the government still feels it necessary to send a reliable stand-in for this sensitive occasion – John Prescott.

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Date
20030804

Time
13:08
Just a little Google-juice for smelly water.

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Date
20030804
A Blog Is Born
Time
15:27
Scott from The Ultimate Insult is on the ball. Introducing the weblog of Austin Mitchell (Labour MP for Grimsby).

1. Here’s a growing list of people who care.

2. I could have sworn his name was Austin Haddock.

3. Austin has always been somewhat of an individual, so I’ll do my best to deal with the eyeball-tearing colour scheme.

4. The link to this from his static site points us to a non-existant index.htm file. Somebody may wish to update this link so it directs us to the index.php file or – to keep things simple – http://www.austinmitchell.org/

5. I looked and looked and looked, but couldn’t find any way to email Austin and congratulate him. Oh well. Back to the static site we go for the necessary contact information (and a quick perv on his staff).

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030805
Christianity Watch
Time
08:56
Cardinal denounces same-sex headline. He doesn’t say what’s wrong with it, he just denounces it. I think perhaps the suggestion is that the Vatican’s recent statement on same-sex marriages isn’t anti-gay, it’s pro-hetero – and shame on you for not knowing the difference. I tell you, this Catholic-bashing getting way out of hand.

Speaking of which:

Smart investing and Catholic values? Now you can have both!

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030805

Time
09:04
Hanging Day dares to ask: Has Private Eye gone establishment? Tissues and tears all round.

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Date
20030805

Time
09:05
Tiny Tim: The Musical. It’s got puppets! Woo!

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030805

Time
09:06
Inventor develops electronic glove to translate sign language into speech.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030805
Does What It Says On The Tin
Time
09:07
www.freethegnomes.com

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030805
Search Engine Optimisation
Time
09:09
Google has introduced a new advanced search feature that allows users to search not only for a particular keyword, but also for its synonyms. I’ll have a poke around with that later today.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030805

Time
09:11
Why are Liberian soldiers wearing fright wigs? Cross-dressing combatants are a fun distraction, but these kids are drugged out of their minds and running around willy-nilly with live ammunition. And we feel compelled to stand by on the sidelines because we’ve already had one war this year.

Cheery news for a Tuesday, huh? Here, some images of nuclear explosions will help jolly you up.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030805
Riding High on Blogdex
Time
09:16
How to install Windows XP in 5 hours or less.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030805

Time
09:17
Right-wing bloggers follow ’10 best’ list with ’10 worst figures in history’ list. Bill Clinton manages third place. Jane Fonda and Michael Moore get ‘honourable mentions.’

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030805
Only Interesting to Bloggers
Time
09:20
RSS: Dave Winer vs. the alternative developers. It’s already descended into childish name-calling – on one side, anyway.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030805
Telemarketers
Time
09:23
Read about a new scam meant to get around the new ‘do not call’ list.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030805

Time
09:25
Robert De Niro, Harvey Keitel and Howard Stern are legally entitled to carry a loaded firearm in NYC. Steven Seagal and Joan Rivers are not.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030805

Time
09:52
Peace love and rainbows… Gay and Lesbian Alliance (GLA) changes name to Death Penalty Party of South Africa (DPP).

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030805

Time
09:55
Consumerism gone mad: celebrity ducks.

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Date
20030805

Time
09:56
Heh. A nice reaction to the Pentagon’s proposedthenquicklyshelved terrorism futures market. Why bet and trade of terrorism when you can instead bet and trade on which country the White House will threaten next?

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030805
Tom’s Teens Page
Time
13:43
Tom Watson’s Teens! page enjoyed another outing in print today, courtesy of yet another journalist operating without the benefit of a scroll bar (or a sense of humour, by the looks of things).

Thanks to Joe Smith for the heads-up.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030805
Photoshopping
Time
16:09
I made this. Oh, and on my travels I found this cool ‘photos of my friends’ site that pretty much typifies Tripod use. (Poor Amanda – a promising modelling career shot to hell…)

Mind you, some good is done on this corner of the web. Case in point: The Ultimate Build Your Own Cow Page!

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030806

Time
09:07
Really bad spam delights geeks. Whatever floats your boat. I hate it all.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030806

Time
09:09
There’s a funeral today. Take time out for a minute’s silence if you can. Then get back to shouting.

Repeat after me:

“It’s all about regime change!”

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030806

Time
09:11
I’m sure you’ll enjoy this fantastic collection of souped-up rice-burners. The genuinely sad spend as much on their sound system as their bodywork and accessories. I once knew a chap whose bass-bins took up the entire back seat. This would be a problem if he ever met a real-live girly. If…

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030806

Time
09:16
Man gets 12 months for publishing bomb recipes on his website. The website in question is here. You may wish to read the statement on it. The grand and glorious Web Archive is having server problems at the moment, but it’s probably worth checking later today to see the earlier version of the site that got him into so much trouble.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030806

Time
09:21
Explore the Mormon/Battlestar Galactica Connection (link via the Ultimate Insult). This site has a bunch of other crazy B-movie stuff on it. So does this one. Enjoy.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030806

Time
09:26
Steel Worker Takes 30,000-Volt Jolt. Apparently it’s a miracle he’s alive, but major voltage passing through your body is less likely to kill you than, say, a modest 240v or so. Mind you, it burns like a bastard…

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030806

Time
09:28
Here’s an interesting little camcorder review found by FunJunkie.

UPDATE – Many, many, many more excellent reviews can be found in this B3ta thread.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030806
Christianity Watch
Time
09:30
Two lame mud-slinging attempts have fallen by the wayside and the Episcopal Church has approved the election of its first openly gay bishop.

More earth-shattering than this, however, is the news that 404 errors were foretold in the Bible.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030806

Time
09:33
Power from blood could lead to ‘human batteries’

Insert obligatory Matrix reference here.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030806

Time
09:35
John Farnham has been asked to join famed British rock band Queen! If you just said ‘John who…?’ then count yourself lucky. Nobody deserves to start Wednesday morning with a cold and dark fear that penetrates their very soul…

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030806

Time
09:39
Hooray for Japanese vending machines!

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Date
20030806
Photoshopping
Time
10:12
The temperature is supposed to top 37 degrees celsius today, so for the rest of the morning I am going to attempt to beat the heat by pretending that it’s Christmas.

Wish me luck.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030807

Time
09:21
Some frank tips for avoiding airline terrorism. Pick of the bunch:

“Bring your own bomb on board. If terrorists get up and start threatening everyone, you then threatening to blow up the plane if they don’t shut up. That will steal their thunder, and they’ll probably just sulk and then sit back down.”

Also, there’s this:

Help! Hong Kong police-terrorist use Brain Voice Read / Write Machine Murders Hong Kong people , 100% true story, please E-mail your dear people and the local news, thank my dear Internet friend.

My work is done here. Onwards and upwards…

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030807
Riding High on Blogdex
Time
09:25
I was just getting over the news that Arnold Schwarzenegger is running for governor of California when I turned on my ‘puter to discover what radio and television decided to keep from me… that Gary Coleman is also running!

Oh, this is going to be fun. When you’re done reading quotes from Arnold Schwarzenegger’s announcement, you might want to also consider ten reasons why Gary deserves your vote.

Finally, we take a look at this morning’s chart topper:

Also-run Larry Flynt is requesting that you pray for the death of FOX news ‘journalist’ and anchor Bill O’Reilly.

You can find out what other bloggers think about this by clicking here or here.

PHOTOSHOPPING UPDATE – Don’t laugh. It could happen.

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Date
20030807

Time
09:42
Hooray for Google News Alerts! Now I’ll get an email anytime Tim Yeo gets a mention. This, combined with the ‘Blog This’ feature on Google’s toolbar, makes stalking the man a breeze.

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Date
20030807

Time
09:46
Given the choice, would you travel by a dog-powered scooter or flying car?

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Date
20030807

Time
09:49
J-Lo has dumped Ben. Try to pretend that you care.

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Date
20030807

Time
09:50
Women exposed to WTC dust may be giving birth to undersized babies. The asbestos issue looks to have been swept under the rug (as is said) but this site pokes around the top Google search results for you.

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Date
20030807

Time
09:58
Enjoy rock’s ten most infamous copyright battles. Huey Lewis vs. Ray Parker Jr. will always be my favourite. Apparently the producers of the film Ghostbusters specifically referenced I Want a New Drug when describing the kind of sound they were looking for and Ray, Dog bless him, delivered it in the most efficient way possible – by simply ripping off the melody.

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Date
20030807

Time
10:06
Bus driver drinks until 4:00am before starting shift at 4:10am

A completely different bus driver got around the ‘no shorts’ rule by wearing a skirt instead.

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Date
20030807
Tom’s Teens Page
Time
10:08
A fanta-stick letter in the latest issue of Private Eye hits the nail right on the head. Brian Whiley of Hull, if you’re out there, drop me a line. A free book is yours for the asking.

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Date
20030807

Time
10:12
Napalm devices were used on Iraqi troops.

Said Col. Randolph Alles; “The generals love napalm. It has a big psychological effect.”

He also notes that it’s a less than pleasant way to die. The White House takes a different view. It’s not napalm, oh no. It’s a firebomb. And presumably it kills people in an entirely different and much more pleasant manner. Kind of like flowers falling from the sky, except with a slight tingling sensation and a mild BBQ-like smell.

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Date
20030807

Time
10:33
Amazon.com founder Jeff Bezos is branching into space-tourism.

You know, it occurred to me recently that the Russian space program could benefit greatly from a little clever marketing. Dennis Tito paid the Russian Space Agency $20m, but there have been state lotteries in the U.S. offering prizes bigger than this (and taking in a great deal more in the process).

So why not have a lottery offering the winner a chance to go into space?

It’s a beautiful idea in so many ways:

- For the month or so that the lottery runs, everybody who participates will get to enjoy that tantalising (albeit slight) possibility of travelling in space.

- The person who does end up going won’t be some rich nut with more money than sense.

- The Russian Space Agency will take in a shedload more than $20m.

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Date
20030807

Time
16:40
I was just having a quick poke around trying to see if there were any weblogs, community sites or portals for the UK fashion/modelling scene, and while I did find one solid weblog on the subject pretty much straight away, I am very easily distracted.

And here are those distractions in full:

Men with eye-patches. Is there anything cooler than a complete loss of depth perception?

Surely this qualifies as desecration of the American flag?

1. It’s touching the ground.

2. It’s touching pubic hair!

3. It’s probably also duct-taped to his butt.

Finally, whatever happened to natural big-breasted curvy girls?

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Date
20030808

Time
09:05
‘Wedding still on’ says Lopez. Thanks, Steve. We can all sleep now.

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Date
20030808

Time
09:06
There’s a nice write-up on the current Iraq situation over at Hanging Day – and a timely warning for Hans Blix. For the sake of your own health, Hans, do try to avoid deserted streets and grassy knolls.

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Date
20030808

Time
09:08
Behold the sporting wonder that is Zorb!

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Date
20030808

Time
09:09
Court rules that man is not allowed to own a dog. Ever. “You’re just a bad, bad owner,” said the judge.

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Date
20030808

Time
09:11
The Monkey Shakespeare Simulator (via Ultimate Insult).

It’s kind of like a simian version of the Seti @ Home project. Every time you view the page, ‘your computer is put to work to simulate a number of monkeys typing randomly on typewriters, and each page typed is checked against every play Shakespeare ever wrote.’

Heh. Cool. The longer you stay on the page, the greater your chances of breaking the current record – 6 letters from King John after 86,339 monkey-years.

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Date
20030808

Time
09:18
Security flaw at spammer’s website reveals people are actually buying. Doesn’t surprise me. Close to a quarter of a million people The Sun is a newspaper and Lombard Direct is ‘easier, faster and cheaper’ than going to the bank.

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Date
20030808

Time
09:25
I played with the Random Personal Picture Finder for a bit yesterday. It’s pretty smooth, and has a nifty ‘choose size of picture’ feature, but I still have a soft spot for Randimaginator.

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Date
20030808
Flash Games
Time
09:28
3D Stress Ball is like Marble Madness, except with bouncing and far more severe consequences when gravity takes hold.

Ooooh, what’s that big green and brown thing coming towards me? I think I’ll call it ‘ground.’ I wonder if it will be my friend…

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Date
20030808

Time
09:31
When good stories go bad:

Some prankster set a chicken aloft by attaching 100 helium balloons to it. It became trapped in power lines, and a police officer used an air pistol to pop some balloons and bring the chicken safely to the ground. Said officer is now being investigated for firing a non-regulation weapon. At, what we can only assume, was a non-regulation chicken.

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Date
20030808

Time
09:36
Researchers publish guidelines for Web addiction, complete with nifty acronym:

More than intended time spent online

Other responsibilities neglected

Unsuccessful attempts to cut down

Significant relationship discord because of use

Excessive thoughts or anxiety when not online.

Now perhaps somebody can look into the risks of researching and at what stage it interferes with somebody actually having a life.

Ooooh, hang on, there’s more:

Yet another team of researchers claim that email users are only six mouse-clicks away from anyone else in cyberspace.

You can tell it’s summer break, can’t you?

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Date
20030808

Time
09:39
This giant robot dog costume is the coolest thing you will see all week. The inclusion of an animated pilot (that ‘operates’ the controls in synch with the wearer’s movements) is inspired.

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Date
20030808

Time
09:45
Parking inspector puts parking ticket on windscreen of car. While the driver was slumped in the front seat, dead from an overdose.

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Date
20030808

Time
09:48
A cool collection of Russian anti-alcohol posters.

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Date
20030808

Time
09:49
New stadium’s toilets tested with simultaneous flushing. 200 volunteers flushed 627 toilets.

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Date
20030808

Time
16:01
Here you go – look at some flat tops.

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Date
20030808
Does What It Says On The Tin
Time
16:22
Via NTK:

www.fixyourmp.com

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Date
20030808
Photoshopping
Time
16:24
Some wallpaper-sized movie images for you, and a nice collection of hi-res images from T3. Use them wisely.

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Date
20030810

Time
12:12
This bloody heatwave had better break soon. The unrelenting heat is starting to diddle with my head. Poor sleep, the inability to think straight… I never liked it in Australia, and I certainly don’t like it here.

Enough with the heat already!

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Date
20030811

Time
09:00
It’s… tesg’s guide to big chain road food consumption (via Ultimate Insult).

His review of Kenny Rogers Roasters is pretty straightforward:

“I don’t care for chicken, and I don’t care for Kenny Rogers.”

Still, he managed to walk away with a new-found love for Kenny’s wood-fired rotisserie chicken, if not for the man himself.

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Date
20030811
Flash Games
Time
09:04
El Reggio is right. This game isn’t the best game in the world, but the work-alert feature is second to none.

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Date
20030811
It’s War! And Somebody’s Telling Porkies!
Time
09:07
WMDs: Depiction of Threat Outgrew Supporting Evidence

Oh, but there’s new evidence on the way. No, really.

Why are you looking at me like that?

UPDATE – Tickle your giblets with more on this subject over at Hanging Day.

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Date
20030811
Riding High on Blogdex
Time
09:10
This example of a bikini model shot from a digital manipulation portfolio is enjoying a fair amount of attention.

She looks great at first, but then we find out that she’s got bad skin, a furry body and hands like grandma.

Says the artist:

“It doesn’t seem natural to me to take out every curve, to airbrush out every blemish, but what the Art Director wants, the Art Director will get.”

Remember, if you don’t have access to Photoshop, then beer has pretty much the same effect.

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Date
20030811

Time
09:17
Remember the good old days before cable television when the cheapest thrill one could have at home was a twenty minute (ahem) ‘aerobic’ workout?

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Date
20030811

Time
09:20
Southwest ticket agent tells man he is too big to fit on the plane – makes point by pointing to his stomach and laughing.

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Date
20030811
Anyone but George
Time
09:22
Now, this is a campaign site I can believe in.

On a similar note, the anti-Arnie movement got off to a good start this weekend with this striking campaign and this run-down at rotten.com (careful with that last one – it contains a naughty image or two).

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Date
20030811
Only Interesting to Bloggers
Time
09:27
A charming song from Radio Free Blogistan and a review of Blogshares.

Incidentally, shares in Bloggerheads.com show steady growth. Invest today. Or send me some real money.

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Date
20030811
U.C.I.N.
Time
09:32
The Universal Church of the Interactive Network has been reviewed by this weblog that tracks ‘unusual’ churches.

Unusual? What’s unusual about love and respect for your fellow web users?

Oh, right. Reality. Sorry, I do keep forgetting…

BTW, current UCIN placement for the ultimate generic search query ‘religion’ in Google is 91st (up from 102nd last month). Slowly but surely…

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Date
20030811

Time
09:38
Car falls from five-story carpark and lands on rooftop opposite.

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Date
20030811
Follow Up
Time
09:39
US admits it used napalm bombs in Iraq.

A 1980 UN convention banned the use of napalm against civilian targets. Yet another treaty not signed by the ultimate rogue state.

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Date
20030811

Time
09:42
Mr Men ‘go corporate’ to sell pharmaceutical message to kiddies.

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Date
20030811
Tom’s Teens Page
Time
09:46
Heh. Tom’s not taking any chances with Private Eye – and rightly so.

As Paul Carr notes in this excellent article, a simple search would have saved them a lot of embarrassment.

That’s a good rule of thumb, there:

“When in doubt, use Google.”

And, if still flummoxed, try Technorati.

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Date
20030811

Time
09:53
Man disguised as gorilla snatches bananas from shop. The shopkeeper was treated for shock. You may also want to take a seat for the earth-shattering revelation that a film company was behind the prank.

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Date
20030811

Time
09:56
Prince William spears antelope while on holiday in Kenya. The freshly shish-kebabed beast is also known as a ‘dik-dik,’ providing animal lovers and cheap tabloids ample ammunition with which to strike back on its behalf.

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Date
20030811
Spam
Time
10:00
Ah yes, now this is what we like to see: filters that fight back.

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Date
20030811
Flash Thingies
Time
11:03
Meet Edward the Fat Panda.

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Date
20030811

Time
11:43
Bill Thompson is Andrew Orlowski in a fake beard AICMFP.

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Date
20030811

Time
12:40
When the killer heatwave finally breaks down south we can look forward to killer lightning strikes.

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Date
20030811
Flash Thingies
Time
16:35
This should keep you busy for the rest of the afternoon. Play with the numbers, click OK. That’s about it, really.

Try 15, 5, 10, 10 for a cool bouncing wormlet, or go and watch the B3tans playing with it.

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Date
20030811

Time
16:47
Prepare to up-chuck (submitted by Pete, who now has to clean my shoes).

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Date
20030812

Time
08:54
Two big launch announcements:

Announcing Issue Zero of the London News Review (£5 well spent) and the victorious debut of the Domkun kettle in the Screen Pages office kitchenette (a heavily lime-scaled veteran bites the dust).

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Date
20030812

Time
08:59
Speedstacks is the undisputed leader in the exciting sport of of Cup Stacking. You’ll want to make time to watch their collection video clips.

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Date
20030812

Time
09:01
Historic schoolhouse deroofed when demolition contractor starts work on wrong building.

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Date
20030812

Time
09:03
Some ‘off the record’ work stories (link via Ultimate Insult). Some of them read like the lamest of Life’s Like That submissions, but there are some gems hidden in there.

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Date
20030812
Yet Another Lame Quiz
Time
09:06
Which Fantasy/SciFi Character Are You? I’m Elrond – a ‘stern yet benevolent organiser.’ Isn’t that nice?

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Date
20030812

Time
09:10
Hong Kong fashion company under fire for Nazi-themed clothing line and store decorations.

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Date
20030812

Time
09:11
Doonebury’s trolling for blog traffic.

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Date
20030812
Flash Thingies
Time
09:13
George Bush is a bad egg.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030812
Riding High on Blogdex
Time
09:13
Should be interesting to see how this pans out: a weblog investigating the effectiveness of penis enlargement pills. Some people are already asking if it’s a clever marketing ploy. See a list of weblogs that link to this.

On a related note, the President of the Australian Society of Plastic Surgery has said that men seeking surgical penis enlargement are showing ‘profound psychological disturbance.’ Best stick with the pills, then.

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Date
20030812

Time
09:18
The Game Show Network is offering lesser-known candidates for Governor of California a chance to debate en-masse live on TV. The show is quite cleverly titled Who Wants to Be Governor of California?

You might also want to check out porn-star candidate Mary Carey’s official election site when the boss isn’t watching. Shall I tempt you with a platform sample?

1. Legalize gay marriage in California. This will generate a tremendous amount of revenue for the state as a honeymoon destination.

UPDATE – See a picture or Mary Carey chatting with fellow candidate Mathilda Karel Spak (100) while they wait for their paperwork to clear.

Finally, more anti-Arnie bits and bobs for you to enjoy. Seems folks are on the lookout for any footage of Mr Schwarzenegger misbehaving on UK television.

OK folks, can we help out on this one?

UPDATE – Found some screengrabs. See Arnie wrestling with Denise van Outen here and here. All in good fun.

Oh, and have you seen this at your local news stand today? Does it scare you as much as it scares me?

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Date
20030812

Time
09:24
Traces of Agent Orange still linger in the Vietnamese food chain.

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Date
20030812
Flash Games
Time
09:58
Play shopkeeper! I was terrible. So much for my planned career in the service industry.

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Date
20030812

Time
10:01
Stray chickens in Bartow, Florida are now officially ‘fair game.’ Can you say ‘buckwheats’ boys and girls?

UPDATE – Do watch out for chickens that can fight back and, hey, let’s be careful out there.

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Date
20030812
Online Marketing
Time
10:09
Read about B3tans whoring themselves in the online advertising world. It does irk me slightly that the B3ta mods tend to shun all commercial executions – unless of course it’s made by one of the B3ta mods. OK, it’s their site, but the hypocrisy doesn’t sit well.

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Date
20030812

Time
14:16
A man claiming to be Saddam Hussein’s sorcerer has predicted that the former dictator will be found dead in the village of Dhuluaiyah (55 miles north of Baghdad). He has also asked not to be identified. We can probably assume from this that Saddam has more than sorcerer – or just one very stupid one.

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Date
20030812
Doing The Rounds
Time
14:53
You should be getting a copy of this link (or a screen grab of same) in the mail anytime now.

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Date
20030812

Time
17:11
You’ve probably already read about the sentencing of Luke Sadowski the 19-year-old who tried to buy a 9-year-old girl for sexual purposes.

Seeing the footage of his arrest was even scarier. The kid looked completely distanced from reality. Just about every aspect of the case is mind-boggling, from the borderline entrapment to the light sentencing.

Now someone has just posted the following to the Popbitch board:

Luke Sadowski’s mother is a social worker. His father is a child psychologist.

If it’s true (remember, we are talking about Popbitch here), then we may very well drown in saliva when The Sun starts frothing at the mouth about it.

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Date
20030813

Time
09:12
This NYT article (submitted by Nic) requires registration, so here’ s a quote to wet your whistle:

“In a lame attempt to be hip, pols are posting soggy, foggy, bloggy musings on the Internet. Inspired by Howard Dean’s success in fund-raising and mobilizing on the Web, candidates are crowding into the blogosphere – spewing out canned meanderings in a genre invented by unstructured exhibitionists.”

If you can get past the sarky attitude, this article does make a few good points worth pondering, and is rare in that it points out that Howard Dean doesn’t actually post much himself.

If you want political blogging to go in the right direction, if you want your local elected officials to speak to you like a human being, then the first step is up to you. A good blog starts with the right motivation.

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Date
20030813
Riding High on Blogdex
Time
09:19
Everyone’s worried about the W32.Blaster.Worm – and rightly so.

Apparently it’s a right bugger to fix and Microsoft aren’t able to help a heck of a lot. A chap at work has an infected machine at home. He (just barely) managed to power up and patch, the log files showed a successful correction, but the infection remains.

Watch for updates, and watch your step.

UPDATE – Justin successfully removed this little bastard of a virus from his ‘puter last night and has provided this useful link for the afflicted. Cheers, mate.

Oh, there’s also this info page from The Washington Post.

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Date
20030813

Time
09:24
Ralph Nader has copped a pie in the face the day after it was whispered that he claimed that the September 11th terrorist attacks wouldn’t have happened if he had been president (scroll down).

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Date
20030813

Time
09:27
A (very) close look at vinyl addressed ‘to the people who are still in love with their vinyl collections.’

Wonderful stuff. Sadly, I had to leave my vinyl collection behind when I left Australia – it simply wouldn’t have survived the extremes of temperature your average shipping container is subjected to.

I hope one day to be reunited with my vinyl. It’s in trustworthy hands, but it did come close to disaster during a recent bushfire. Yes, I lost sleep as a result.

Pretty sad, huh?

Even sadder, I think it would be a good idea to transfer vinyl recordings to MP3 so even tech-heads can enjoy their favourite tracks as God intended them.

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Date
20030813

Time
09:35
I don’t know which way to spit!

Did you know that Fox News registered ‘Fair & Balanced’ as a trademark in 1995?

!!!

Now an author wants to take a look at this ridiculous state of affairs but Fox is suing him over the title.

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Date
20030813
It’s War! And Things Is Getting Ridiculous!
Time
09:38
Activist fined $10,000 for going to Iraq to protest the war. He thought the fine was $500, but authorities have record-clubbed his ass by jacking up the price. That’ll learn him.

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Date
20030813

Time
09:40
Bust a move with Rippin’ Richie at popandlock.com!

The site includes hints and tips for improved body-popping endurance, details about his instructional DVD (will teach you how to pop, wave, glide and do the ‘King Tut’ – with no shipping charges for a limited time only) and his thoughts on politics and religion.

You’ll want to check out his ‘not-at-all-typical 9/11 song’ – it’s a wonder to behold.

It also magically sticks in your head, like all good songs should.

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Date
20030813

Time
09:50
American tourists scared by hi-tech Japanese toilets.

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Date
20030813

Time
09:53
Like lists? Here are the fifty worst worst artists in music history according to US music magazine Blender. I’m sure you’ll find at least one inclusion to object to.

Get yourself a free copy of Blender and write a letter of complaint to the editor. It won’t silence the voices, but it may kill an hour or two.

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Date
20030813

Time
10:14
Stand by for cynicism…

Last night, this story was presented by the BBC as a terrorist plot to shoot down Air Force One.

Pardon? How’s that work then?

Everybody except the dealers involved were government operatives in on the sting, from the Russians who sold it to missile, to the customs agents who allowed it through – even the bloody buyer was an FBI agent!

The threat to Air Force One is now being played down, but I’m willing to bet it was presented as part of the sales pitch (‘Just imagine what this baby could do!’).

We also have a high-risk-completely-genuine-not-all-all-to-do-with-PR terror threat going on and a scheduled terror test on the tube.

OK, the danger is there, but the timing of some previous alerts and exercises (like rolling tanks into Heathrow the day before the biggest peace march in this country’s history) has a lot of people wondering what is real and what is rubbish.

That, I would think, is a threat in itself.

UPDATE – Ionicus remembers the tank stunt, too – and wonders quietly why we never heard anything about the supposed threat, where it came from and where it went to…

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Date
20030813

Time
11:42
Heads up! The Hutton Inquiry has its own website! Cheers to Andy who’s minding the fort for Tom.

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Date
20030813

Time
13:38
A ‘5 Questions’ blog-interviewing meme is doing the rounds. Sadly, my link in the chain is weakened by my lack of permalinks and a comments function, so allow me to present the passage of this meme from its origins to my blog by way of apology:

I found out about it via bar room philosophy, who picked it up from Green Fairy, who learned of it from Feministe, who cottoned on via Swirlspice, who was infected via Kathy Howe who plucked it from the source at Cornelia Smith’s weblog.

Here are the rules. To play, you will need your own weblog or online journal.

1. If you want to participate, leave a comment saying “interview me” (in my case, of course, you will have to send me an email…).

2. I will respond by asking you five questions – each person’s will be different.

3. You will update your weblog/journal with the answers to the questions.

4. You will include this explanation and an offer to interview others in the same post.

5. When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions.

Now, without further ado, I present my answers to the questions from Justin at bar room philosophy.

1. Imagine you have been given unlimited funds and resources in order to make the world a better place. How would you go about it?

Can I rephrase that to ‘considerable funds and resources’? With unlimited resources, I’d simply be able to distribute them evenly – as generously as I wished – and then take the rest of the day off (so I could listen to all of the people complaining that what I gave them wasn’t enough).

2. Blow your own trumpet. What is your greatest contribution to the field of human endeavour?

Well, rooty-toot-toot! I’ve made well over a million people happy in one way or another, but I’d probably place more importance on the few people I’ve inspired to go out and do the same thing. Does that blow enough?

3. Name a world record you would like to be the owner of and why.

Best-selling book of all time – because the Bible has held the title for far too long. The money would come in handy, too.

4. Your blog or daylight. Which would you rather go without for a month?

Only a month? Pass the sun lamp.

5. If you were forced to, which of your five senses would you give up? Why that sense?

Humour. It would allow me to finally go into politics.

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Date
20030814

Time
09:27
Hanging Day on the demise of Lady Mosely. Altogether now:

Who do you think you are kidding Independent?

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Date
20030814
It’s War! And Somebody’s Telling Porkies!
Time
09:29
Is the White House manipulating Iraqi intelligence?

They seem to have a fair amount of influence over UK intelligence, albeit by sucking Tony Blair dry of his.

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Date
20030814
Only Interesting to Bloggers
Time
09:31
Andrew Orlowski lays in with some Winer-bashing.

A glowing review for Typepad with one minor grumble. He’s right – the Amazon linkage is a bit cheeky.

Finally, cheers to Wordlab for the kind mention (and to Simon for the heads-up).

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Date
20030814
Riding High on Blogdex
Time
09:38
Top link today: Google’s clever little conkulator.

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Date
20030814
Old News
Time
09:39
Yesterday was International Left Handers Day and National Underwear Day. Hands up everyone else who missed it (i.e. right-handed people who forgot to wear underwear).

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Date
20030814

Time
09:44
Old nutter spends thousands of dollars putting up ‘Thank God for Fox News’ billboards. He wants to wake the young folks up.

On the opposite end of the nutter spectrum, may I present this report of the US Air Force flying Saddam Hussein out of Baghdad?

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Date
20030814

Time
09:47
Hooray! It’s the Young Communist League U.S.A. to the rescue. Read some fun poetry or find out how to start your own club. Even better, simply join online. Another witch-hunt can’t be too far way, and you’ll want to have your name on those all-important membership lists.

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Date
20030814
Follow Up
Time
09:53
SFGate reports on the Elite Force Dubya action figure. It’s not a toy, it’s an ‘adult collectible item.’

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Date
20030814

Time
09:55
Christian school pressured to fire principal. He took a long line of young ladies to ‘Disney’ and back.

I don’t understand. Do they mean Disneyland, Disneyworld, EuroDisney… or are they merely speaking figuratively?

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Date
20030814
Flash Games
Time
10:00
Pretend to be an old lady who likes crisps. It’s pretty boring, but at least it sucks.

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Date
20030814

Time
10:01
Malaysia to ban the cooking of food, the washing of clothes and the lighting of fires in public toilets. You will also be fined heavily if you fail to flush.

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Date
20030814

Time
10:03
Young, gifted and entrepreneurial? Up to £30,000 in grant money is up for grabs. Please form an orderly line behind me.

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Date
20030814
Tony Blair’s Email
Time
13:03
A little bloody recognition wouldn’t go astray. (Sits down to type angry email…)

BTW, Tony’s development team is running out of August. I sent a polite reminder by email this morning.

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Date
20030815
Flash Thingies
Time
09:02
Why voting for Ah-nold you should be doing. There’ll be quite a few of these in the coming weeks. Maybe even one from me.

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Date
20030815
Tony Blair’s Email
Time
09:03
Yet more media attention for Tim Yeo the campaign hijacker. Thankfully, most people who hear about him this way will search for his name in Google or Yahoo. The real story is only one step away, and here’s one blogger who took that short journey.

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Date
20030815
It’s War! And Somebody’s Telling Porkies!
Time
09:05
Won’t somebody pleeeeeeease think of the troops?

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Date
20030815

Time
09:09
Major power outage hits New York, other large cities. I can’t wait to see the first photo-blog from this.

UPDATE – Here’s more from the BBC and an interesting theory about the Great Northeast Blackout of November 9, 1965. Did anybody see any lights in the sky while they were out looting?

UPDATE 2 – Hooray for TTR2! They found this photo-blog of the blackout. Everybody appears to be having a wonderful time.

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Date
20030815
Flash Thingies
Time
09:10
Go ahead, just try to sleep at night after watching this.

Incidentally, I woke up this morning and found myself reaching for my blankie. Then it struck me – I was cold! Cold! Three hours later, and there’s still a cheery nip in the air. Oh blessed relief!

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Date
20030815

Time
09:13
500 Chilean tarantulas abandoned at Mexico City’s international airport. 135 are already dead, 20 have been donated to Chapultepec zoo. A local wildlife centre is taking care of the rest, but if you’re in the area and would like a potentially lethal pet, then drop by and see if you can adopt one.

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Date
20030815

Time
09:21
Cloning Yields Human-Rabbit Hybrid Embryo.

Pfizer’s stock will plummet as a result, you mark my words.

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Date
20030815

Time
09:24
Police reacting to noise complaint arrive to find naked man and woman covered in blood. He claimed to be making a porno film, but the officers failed to find any video equipment.

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Date
20030815

Time
09:26
Drop by the Retrolounge for a heady taste of yesteryear. Things were better in them days, yessiree Bob.

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Date
20030815
Follow Up
Time
09:28
Re: ‘Fair & Balanced’

People. Are. Funny.

I couldn’t resist. Front page tagline duly updated.

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Date
20030815

Time
09:30
Love Is Only Sleeping – Sleepy Jean’s ‘secret oasis of love and clairvoyant understanding.’ Offers art, poetry, information about her past lives, plus lots and lots of Monkee-love. I weep for poor Mike Nesmith. Can you imagine the fan mail he gets from this woman?

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Date
20030815

Time
09:41
Ahahahahahahaha! TV stations in California who broadcast any Arnold Schwarzenegger movies would have to allow other candidates equal time.

So, no Arnie movies to be shown in California until October 7th. Nice to see some good has come of this ridiculous charade.

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Date
20030815
Tony Blair’s Email
Time
15:06
The Torygraph, unsurprisingly, puts it down to Tory intervention. Silicon.com simply accepts that it’s on the way without asking themselves why.

I’m feeling decidedly unappreciated today. FFS, doesn’t anybody do research anymore?

18-31 July, 2003 (includes Blogathon 2003)

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Date
20030718

Time
09:20
Meet Saint Cloud’s own personal version of Superman. He doesn’t leap over tall buildings, but somewhere in his busy schedule, he does find time to stand on street corners and wave at passing traffic. Quite foolishly, he reveals his secret identity on the site, but because his flatmates Jim and Bern got angry about him publishing their phone number on the site, you can now only make contact (and enquires about possible romance) by email. Visit the photo gallery and leave a comment if you have the time. This man needs your support.

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Date
20030718
Photoshopping
Time
09:26
Fark competition: What would the world be like if everyone bought spammers’ products?

Also, Andy emailed and asked where I’ve hidden my page about photoshopping techniques.

Answer: the link keeps moving because it’s presented at the tail end of the ever-expanding Star Wars Photoshopping Project. I suppose I really should put a link at the front page of the general photoshopping gallery, but in the meantime you can find this semi-educational page by clicking here.

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Date
20030718

Time
09:33
The Elliott Avedon Museum and Archive of Games is a fantastic collection of games and game-related objects. I found the collection of board games based on TV shows the most enlightening. There’s even a M*A*S*H game. There are also a few blank spaces. If you have a unique board game lurking in your attic, the museum gratefully accepts donations.

In fact, I dimly recall buying a Jason Donovan dating board game of some sort a year or so back at a boot sale. I may just wrap it up and send it off to its ultimate destiny.

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Date
20030718
Go Figure
Time
09:41
Tatu are fighting over a boy and Drew Barrymore likes girls.

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Date
20030718

Time
09:43
Man fined for leaving 65 ducks and geese in a motel room. He was a hunter, so you know the story isn’t going to be as fun as it first seems.

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Date
20030718
It’s War! And Somebody’s Telling Porkies!
Time
09:56
FBI hassles/intimidates man for daring to read this ‘Weapons Of Mass Stupidity’ article in public.

You may want to take a look over your shoulder before reading this report on CIA Director George Tenet’s appearance before members of Congress. Or this one. Mind you, the assertions/admissions he makes conveniently absolve George Bush of everything but stupidity, so perhaps you should make the effort to read something more subversive.

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Date
20030718

Time
09:58
Man commits suicide after girlfriend falls in love with his online alter ego. Tim better watch out. I’ve had my eye on his wife for years…

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Date
20030718
Blogathon 2003 – Friday Feedback
Time
11:06
Blogathon 2003 – Friday Feedback

Our mystery donor is a new reader by the name of Mirjam.

She emailed me a while back, but I must admit to completely forgetting her name in the hustle and bustle of the last two weeks.

Mirjam doesn’t have a website (yet) and operates from an undisclosed location in the North Sea, so I’m going to ask you to instead send some positive vibes via the following sentence. Please concentrate on it as hard as you can and picture wonderful things happening to her:

Today, I want something magical to happen to Mirjam

Right, karma addressed, let’s get down to business…

Click here to sponsor me for the 2003 Blogathon!

Over the 24 hours of the Blogathon, I’ll be answering 48 questions from readers. I’m still quite a few questions short of the target.

Click here to submit a question by email!

To give you a taster, I’m going to answer a general question Rod sent in this morning:

Q: How do I develop a link format that will generate more traffic? Does this question even make sense?

A: That’s actually two questions, but I’ll let it slide just this once. A good example of a link generation tool is the quiz format (used by many bloggers and webmasters to promote their site).

This format was investigated in the early days of Bloggerheads with Which M*A*S*H Character Are You?

This quiz has reached approximately 100,000 individual visitors over the last year or more and is still being discovered by between 100-200 new visitors each and every day.

You may also note that the ‘cut and paste’ code format has been used on a number of campaigns here at Bloggerheads, from the overt request for link whorage as part of the Raging Cow campaign to the more subtle inclusion of the ‘cut and paste’ feature in the recent campaign to get senators blogging.

However – and here’s the tricky bit – you need to provide some pretty solid motivation for people to actually take the trouble to include such a link on their website. In fact, most of the inbound links to Bloggerheads or bits and bobs created here have managed to crop up without the aid of this small tool of convenience. Good examples being The Star Wars Photoshopping Project and JPEG Baby, which contain no referral mechanisms and simply earn inbound links on the strength of the content alone.

So, the link format itself is easy enough to create (the code is pretty common and easy-to-understand stuff), but what will really drive its success is the very content it is meant to drive traffic to.

Is it interesting? Is it original? Is it something people are going to want to share?

That should be your main focus.

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Date
20030718
It’s War! And Somebody’s Going To Pay!
Time
11:16
Earlier this week, Dr David Kelly denied being the BBC’s primary source regarding this governments sexing-up of the dodgy dossier. Yesterday, he went missing. Today, a body has been found.

I can’t do better than quote Mark on this:

“Gentlemen, start your conspiracy theories!”

UPDATE – Actually, this has now been topped by The Boozehound, who linked to this story with the following:

“COUGH*assasinated*COUGH”

I’ve instructed a few folks nearby to follow this link and refresh often, so they can watch this spread through the blogosphere. Linkage on Blogdex bears watching, too. It should top the chart within a few hours.

UPDATE – The image of Alastair the Assassin seems to have struck a chord. It’s front page at B3ta.com (precise link for archive purposes is here) and Wibbler has also been nice enough to give it a fully credited airing.

An hour after its creation, it’s also No.2 on the Lycos new release chart, just under this quite cool flash game: Gravity Ball.

Note to Piers Morgan: Ask me nicely. I may surprise you.

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Date
20030718

Time
13:01
I’m trying to keep mention of Tim Yeo to a minimum on this blog, because now the man has a weblog completely dedicated to him, there’s no point boring you with bits and bobs here day after day.

I would like to point out, however, that the Tim Yeo Weblog has now cracked the top sport for searches for ‘tim yeo’ in Google.

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Date
20030718

Time
14:47
More on Dr Kelly and the body that may or may not be his:

CNN | Guardian Timeline | Independent | Viewer views from Sky News

If the body is confirmed to be Dr Kelly’s, wouldn’t it be odd if the time of death was established as being sometime during Blair’s speech to Congress?

UPDATE – Kelly: Blair promises public inquiry from plane out of Washington. And (ahem) ‘Alastair Campbell, who usually travels with Mr Blair, is not on the plane.’

And… ‘A man may have died as a result of the government’s contempt for one of the cornerstones of democracy – a free and independent press.’

I wonder how much email Andrew ‘high court of parliament’ MacKinlay is getting today…

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Date
20030718

Time
16:17
One for the conspircay theorists: Eleven microbiologists mysteriously dead over the span of just five months. Possibly twelve.

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Date
20030718

Time
16:36
Today we have at least one visitor from the Australian Department of Agriculture, Fisheries and Forestry. Welcome.

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Date
20030718
Tony Blair’s Email – Not Long Now
Time
16:58
Remember those specifications I wrote up for a viable email facility for Tony Blair?

Well, take a look at what they’ve just introduced for George Bush:

http://www.whitehouse.gov/webmail

They’ve put a fair amount of filtering on the front end, and a few people are bitching about that (link requires registration), but I think the level of demand warrants it.

Still, with such a thing, there should be a facility that allows people to suggest a new subject/category, even if they don’t send an email.

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Date
20030718

Time
17:20
David Kelly: And herrrrrrrrrre comes the media!

Wibbler.com tells us that Jon Snow got a bit ahead of himself when he opened the afternoon news on Channel 4 with:

“MoD ‘mole’ missing – body found: Did he take his own life? Was he killed, did he die of a heart attack?”

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Date
20030719

Time
23:58
I was kind of expecting it, but this announcement really hit me like a ton of bricks. It’s the saddest I’ve felt for a person in a very long time.

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Date
20030720
A Blog Is Born
Time
00:02
It’s always interesting to happen across a blog just as it gets going. Especially one that links you favourably at its inception. You can’t help but wonder exactly what it is that you’ve started.

I’m not entirely sure where this one came from or where it’s going, but it does intrigue me.

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Date
20030721

Time
09:29
1am

Total blackout.

Torches aren’t easy to find, as some recent work on the kitchen cabinets means that nothing is where it is supposed to be.

I call directory enquiries:

“Directory enquiries, what name please?”

“Hello, we’ve got a bit of a blackout here. Is there a hotline number for Seeboard Energy?”

“Yes.”

“Could you possibly connect m*

click

“The. Number. Is. 0. 8. etc.”

I lay my hands on what I assume to be a pen and scribble down the number, deciding to worry later about what I’m actually writing on and whether or not I’ll be able to read the number when I eventually lay my hands on a torch. That done, I wait to get reconnected:

“Directory enquiries, what name please?”

“Hi. Lady, it’s pitch black here. I was lucky to find the telephone at all. Next time someone calls to ask for a hotline number during a blackout, and they ask to be connected, could you maybe connect them, please?”

“I’m sorry, sir, we can’t do that. But if you call…”

(Woman begins to rattle off long phone number as I hang up in disgust…)

Late night. Long night.

I’ll be on deck and blogging soon.

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Date
20030721
Riding High on Blogdex
Time
11:30
I was ejected from a plane for wearing “Suspected Terrorist” button.

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Date
20030721

Time
12:01
Another blackout. My site is served locally, so your mileage may vary today.

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Date
20030721
The Political Weblog Movement
Time
12:02
This Backbench bloggers article headed in the wrong direction the moment it referenced Howard Dean (who, despite having a pretty good story to tell, is not the best example of a blogging politician).

Still, it repeats a few good key points, so it is worth a look.

Also, the Yorkshire Post got all uppity about political blogs on the 17th. They suggested that instead of wasting time online, MPs should concentrate of more ‘genuine’ forms of direct communication. I’d link to the article, but there isn’t a copy online. Make of that what you will, or check out Richard Allan’s weblog for some comments on this.

Finally, with many folks running for cover and many more yelling to heard above the overwhelming din of media speculation surrounding the shocking death of Dr David Kelly, I’d just like to say that it’s refreshing to be able to read a personal reaction that hasn’t been reduced to a series of soundbites.

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Date
20030721

Time
12:03
Sign this. You’ll feel better.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030721
Photoshopping
Time
12:03
I had a cracker of an idea for a Photoshopping project last night, just before the lights went out. I was watching one programme while listening to the soundtrack of another.

I’m going to poke around for source images today, but keep the theme under my hat until the weekend (I’d like to roll the majority of material out as part of this weekend’s Blogathon).

1. You’ll be happy to hear that it’s nothing to do with Star Wars

2. The more sponsorship I get, the more images I’ll produce.

I’ll probably drop a teaser sometime in the next few days. Watch this space.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030721

Time
12:10
I’m still trying to work out what this is all about. Let’s see what they post today and go from there.

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Date
20030722

Time
09:11
I have a small technical problem with email at the mo. They’re coming in fine, but not all of them seem to be allowed to go out and play.

So, if you’ve emailed me recently and I haven’t answered – that’s probably why.

BTW, I still need more questions for the Blogathon this weekend. Ever wondered anything about Bloggerheads? Click here to ask.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030722

Time
09:14
Judge places slum lord under house arrest – in her own dilapidated, vermin-infested building.

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Date
20030722

Time
09:15
BBC: Can blogs be truly mainstream? Some great reader comments at the tail. A highlight:

“The great thing about blogs is that anyone can set one up. The only problem is that anyone can set one up.”

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Date
20030722

Time
09:18
Are you a Transformers collector? Do your friends make fun of you? Do you have any friends? Worry ye not, for it has been declared that collecting Transformers is cool – just look at all the sexy babes that are into it.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030722
Flash Music Video
Time
09:21
Shii’s song. Please try not to cry or throw heavy objects at your screen.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030722

Time
09:22
Man arrives at DMV for driving test and crashes into building. His licence was immediately revoked.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030722

Time
09:25
Take a closer look at the London Underground. The original map, the current map, and how the system really looks.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030722

Time
09:27
More reactions to the new email system for George Bush. Hope this negative press doesn’t make the communications team at Downing St too jumpy. I’m looking forward to that promised August delivery date.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030722
It’s War! And Things Is Getting Ridiculous!
Time
09:29
“I think all foreigners should stop interfering in the internal affairs of Iraq.” – U.S. Deputy Defense Secretary Paul Wolfowitz

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Date
20030722

Time
09:31
Man convicted of intimidation after mailing raccoon head to school principal.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030722

Time
09:32
The best weblogs contain at least a small measure of personal expression. Here’s a jolly good example.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030722
Riding High on Blogdex
Time
09:34
Bloggers Select The 20 Greatest Figures In American History. Actually, that should read ‘Right-Wing Nutbags Select The 20 Greatest Figures In American History.’

Patton’s in there, and Ronald Reagan ties for 1st place.

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Date
20030722
Christianity Watch
Time
09:51
You may remember me mentioning my rather eclectic religious upbringing. One part of this was growing up opposite a Baptist church. Convenient for Sunday School but boy, did they lay it on thick.

It was a very conservative church (they used Ribena for communion), but they had a kid’s corner that was well-stocked with religious comic books. Most of all, I remember the Christian Archie comics, but there were also comic versions of books like ‘The Cross and the Switchblade’ (featured the all-time best comic book cover speech bubbles of all time):

“I could cut you up right now, preacher!”

“Yes you could, Johnny, and every piece of me would still love you…”

This collection is far from comprehensive, but when it does feature a book, it features the entire book (in PDF format). Quite heavy on the bandwidth, but if you have the time and capacity you should check out at least one of these.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030722
Follow Up
Time
09:54
Search for ‘chilham sports cars’ in Google and chilhamsportscars.com (see archived entry for last Thursday) is in the top spot. Now we watch and wait for the fur to start flying, I suppose.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030722
It’s War! And Somebody’s Telling Porkies!
Time
09:56
Recently declassified intelligence report from Oct 2002 says defeated Hussein would be a threat.

“Saddam, if sufficiently desperate, might decide that only an organization such as al Qaeda, . . . already engaged in a life-or-death struggle against the United States, could perpetrate the type of terrorist attack that he would hope to conduct,” reads one passage.

Let’s pretend for a moment that Iraq did indeed have WMDs.

1. Why didn’t he use them?

2. Where did they go?

Oops.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030722

Time
10:04
In reaction to the “What Would Jesus Drive?” campaign, a pro-SUV group is launching its own ads celebrating plus-size vehicles. Basically, they’ve found a large and reasonably photogenic man by the name of Jesus. Dear Lord, give me strength…

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Date
20030722
Video
Time
10:08
Normally I shy away from overtly commercial work, but this mickey-take of the Honda commercial earns a laugh.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030722
Photoshopping
Time
12:13
“Attention! All personnel!”

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Date
20030723

Time
09:10
Test your psychic powers.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030723

Time
09:10
Enjoy some really bad book covers.

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Date
20030723

Time
09:14
These scratchy, distorted screen captures from M*A*SH seem to have been grabbed from film, but they’re worth seeing just for that top image of Hawkeye waking up from a nightmare. Klinger praying is a cracker, too. Hell, it’s almost art.

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Date
20030723
Riding High on Blogdex
Time
09:16
No. 1: Saddam’s killed in northern city of Mosul. A similar item from Fox News snuggles in at No. 2

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Date
20030723
It’s War! And Somebody’s Telling Porkies!
Time
09:20
The BBC has a tape of scientist Dr David Kelly expressing concern about the way Iraq weapons intelligence was presented. Here’s hoping the inquiry is allowed to follow its obvious and natural course.

Alos caught on tape… these Democrats talking about prolonging California’s budget crisis for political gain. There’s quite a busy thread over at Fark about this if you’re up for it.

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Date
20030723

Time
09:25
Amazon has a bold new plan to digitise “tens of thousands” non-fiction books and make the text searchable (requires registration). Looking for that elusive passage or quote? Here’s the result, courtesy of Amazon. Now, how many copies would you like? Shades of IMDB there, here’s hoping they can carry it off.

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Date
20030723
Christianity Watch
Time
09:30
Have you ever wanted to tell someone about Jesus but just didn’t know where to begin? Why not share the gospel of Jesus through surveys?

The survey they provide really puts its best foot forward. First question:

1. Do you believe that abortion is acceptable?

(A) Yes (B) No

However, it does contain a great question to use down at the pub:

10. Name two people who walked on water in the Bible.

I must admit to forgetting that Peter popped out for a quick stroll as well.

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Date
20030723

Time
09:37
Couple accused of abuse after driving 20 miles with two boys in the trunk/boot.

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Date
20030723
Only Interesting to Bloggers
Time
09:39
The Dallas Morning News has launched a group blog for the editorial board.

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Date
20030723
Blogathon 2003
Time
09:42
Thanks go to princess erin the mighty for her kind sponsorship. The wonderful princess erin was an early and effective activist during The ‘Out Of Order’ Project. She was the one who marked the office stationary cupboard ‘out of order.’ Sheer genius.

If you haven’t done so already, click here to sponsor Bloggerheads in the 2003 Blogathon.

From 2pm GMT on Saturday, I’ll be rolling out 24 hours of glorious photoshopping (on a theme that is currently highly classified) and answering (hopefully) 48 questions about me, Bloggerheads, or stuff that’s been done here over the last year or so. I’m still short of questions, so if you’ve ever wondered anything about Bloggerheads, click here to email me your query today.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030724
In The Courts
Time
09:00
Man accused of killing his wife by stabbing her 43 times claims it was self-defence. O-kay…

Porn case film sends juror to sleep. The judge has declared a second mistrial on the case, but perhaps he’s just looking for an excuse to play the film again…

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Date
20030724

Time
09:04
Cartoon of Bush with gun to his head investigated as a possible threat. Relax, the bullet is sure to pass from one side to the other without hitting anything vital.

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Date
20030724

Time
09:07
Scientists are developing a mind-controlled wheelchair. Where’s my silver jumpsuit and flying car? I wish these guys would get their priorities sorted.

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Date
20030724

Time
09:09
Psychic fails to detect undercover investigator. The investigation was started after a woman complained that she had been diddled out of $20,000 in cash and gifts.

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Date
20030724

Time
09:11
Deep links are legal in Germany.

While we’re poking around El Reg, this is kind of related:

Here’s someone else expressing doubts about the influence of bloggers. I think he’ll find his results are pretty temporary. Unless everyone starts talking about it, of course…

The playing field will level out when businesses (finally) realise that this is a two-way communications channel and merely speaking to us like human beings can significantly improve their standing in Google.

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Date
20030724

Time
09:17
Young, single and gifted? Why waste your time consorting and breeding with the lower castes when goodgenes.com stands ready to match you with a partner of equal standing?

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Date
20030724

Time
09:20
Man drives 30km holding almost severed head in place. Would have been great if he’d been pulled over…

While we’re on the roads, read about the man who died by getting run over by a van and then suffering a crash when that same van was driving him to hospital.

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Date
20030724

Time
09:22
Man dies, taking vital network passwords to the grave. This has happened before, and I’m sure I blogged it.

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Date
20030724

Time
09:29
Michael Jackson says that illegal downloaders should not face jail and this female Michael Jackson impersonator looks like Donny Osmond.

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Date
20030724

Time
09:32
Today is National Shopping Day here in the UK. The Guardian’s come on board with this write up, and I’m currently doing by best to deal with the choice of Melinda Messenger as the poster child for this shop-a-thon. Still:

1. The campaign isn’t aimed at hardcore cynics like me, it’s meant to reach the frightened bunnies that regard the beige monster in the corner with a mixture of suspicion and fear.

2. At least Carol Vorderman isn’t involved.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030724
Blogathon 2003
Time
09:39
A mysterious being known as Penfold74 has kindly joined my list of sponsors. Thank you!

Get your questions in for the Blogathon! (Ask anything you’ve ever wondered about me or Bloggerheads.)

Sponsor me for the Blogathon!

I’ll be watching The Swamp very closely during the Blogathon, for reasons I’m sure you are beginning to suspect.

Oh, thanks to ickle for the rather dodgy photoshop. Close, but no banana, sorry.

You wait until you see this new theme. Yes, M*A*S*H is involved, but I’ve added a new twist to make the work truly, truly wondrous. It will blow your mind.

You’ll smile, you’ll laugh, you’ll swallow. I guarantee it.

Finally, if you’re in two minds about sponsoring me, may I suggest that you don’t? Tom Watson is doing something much more interesting and worthwhile on the day, so you should probably throw a few bucks his way instead.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030725
Riding High on Blogdex
Time
08:53
‘Blogs’ shake the political discourse. I got a heads-up about this yesterday from Wibbler, too.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030725

Time
08:55
And you thought Raging Cow was, like, totally extreme? Hah! Nobody does flavoured milk promotion like the Latvians. Check out Crazy Milk. Erm, to the max. Or something.

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Date
20030725

Time
08:59
Martin’s had a rough day, but he still takes the time to make me blush. What a sweetie.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030725
It’s War! And Somebody’s Telling Porkies!
Time
09:00
Bill Clinton on Bush Iraq/uranium claim:

“You know, everybody makes mistakes when they are president.”

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030725

Time
09:03
Miss Norway sent to wrong city – in wrong country – for Miss Universe final.

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Date
20030725

Time
09:07
Shaving Industry Lies claims that women’s razor’s are sharper than mens, and even goes so far as to suggest how you can make such a razor seem more butch. (So you can use one without people laughing at you. In your bathroom.) Attaching plastic army figures seems like a good start, but perhaps you can do better.

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Date
20030725
Flash Thingies
Time
09:10
Music: You’re cracking my eggs!

Games: Clay KItten Shooting

Enjoy.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030725

Time
09:12
The Guardian explores the global mind. I’m a big believer in global consciousness. I even have an insane notion that Jerusalem is (or was) some form of magnetic pole for this kind of activity.

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Date
20030725
‘Is That Real?’ Etc.
Time
09:16
Mormons! Quality and value await at missionarymall.org! Suits, ties, and accessories galore! (Note: they don’t sell bikes online, but there is a competition that gives you a chance to win one…)

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Date
20030725

Time
09:20
Man charged with petty larceny after stealing pizza, chicken and hot dogs from sister’s freezer.

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Date
20030725

Time
09:33
Ahahahahahahahaha!

The political diarist at The Guardian fell for it. The Mirror fell for it. The Financial Times was also sucked in (and even managed to get the URL wrong along the way). The BBC almost fell for it, but I wasn’t expecting this…

Someone at Private Eye has seen Tom’s Teens page (presumably sometime before we added the commentary at the bottom of the page to help the addled of mind or slow of wit) and fallen for it hook, line, sinker, rod and copy of Angling Times.

One for the scrapbook. Like many other print publications, they’ve also quoted the page in full (without permission).

Right now, I’m wondering if I should write up my first letter to Private Eye – or my first invoice.

UPDATE – Oh, you may also wish to do a quick search for ‘teens politics’ in Google.

UPDATE 2 – Here’s the reaction to this over at B3ta.

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Date
20030725
Blogathon 2003
Time
09:48
Scott has been kind enough to chip in with a donation, as has one of my government informants, who wishes to remain anonymous. Another chap has emailed wondering if he can make an anonymous donation. Easy enough to do. When you sign up to donate via the link below, you’ll be presented with the option to remain anonymous if you wish:

Sponsor Bloggerheads in the 2003 Blogathon!

Looking at my Blogathon folder, I see 14 emails waiting for me. Unless they contain emails with multiple questions (I’m not letting myself look until tomorrow) we seem well short of the target of 48 questions.

Submit a question to be answered during the Blogathon!

Anything you like, really. Something you’ve wondering about Bloggerheads, about me, or about anything that’s been built and featured here.

Apart from the (hopefully) long list of questions answered, there will also be a total of 12 photoshops on a central theme scattered across the 24 hours of bloggage.

The front page will get too heavy if I start throwing images up as well as a lot of text, so said photoshops will be featured over at the B3ta messageboard with direct links to each thread posted here for easy access.

OK, that’s it. See you tomorrow, 6am Pacific Time, 2pm GMT.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030725
Follow Up
Time
14:39
I blogged a while back that Star Wars Kid had a law suit in the offing, and this link about it at the BBC is all over the place today. A pity the BBC couldn’t be arsed to provide a link to the original article, though.

The four teenagers named in the suit are Michaël Caron, François Labarre, Jérôme Laflamme and Jean-Michel Rheault.

I’m not going to spend the rest of the afternoon hunting them down, but I did find this Jérôme Laflamme, who lives in Charlesbourg (not far from the home town of Star Wars Kid). Unless Jérôme Laflamme is the French equivalent of John Smith, it looks like a pretty fair bet.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030725

Time
14:57
Coca-Cola in India accused of leaving farms parched and land poisoned.

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Date
20030726
FAQ: How to you keep up with the fresh info?
Time
13:56
If you take a look over to your left, you’ll see links to a range of communities, weblogs, weblog aggregators, and link/info portals. I start each and every morning by clicking down my navigation bar and opening each and every one of these in a new window. I’ll then view and blog from these sites pretty much anything that I think regulars would be interested in. If I’m feeling keen, I’ll scan lower down the Blogdex charts to see if anything new is climbing. Technorati gives me a nice snapshot of who’s linking to me on any given day, and this is proving to be a valuable source of fresh links. (Blogs that show an interest in me also show an interest in things than I’m interested in. Interesting, no?)

Cruising the B3ta messageboard always brings up few titbits here and there, as does the usual image surfing that goes into photoshopping. I primarily use Google Image Search for this kind of thing, and because I’m seeking out a specific image or type of image, I’ll dig much deeper into the results than I would with a standard text search. This brings up some wonderfully random sites sometimes.

Finally, people who don’t have weblogs or sites of their own send me email if they discover something new or exciting and want to share the discovery.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030726
The 4007th Project – Image #1
Time
14:00
OK, here’s the first image, as promised. The theme came to me when I was listening to The David Arnold Project and (kind of) watching M*A*S*H.

There’ll be one Bond/M*A*S*H mix-up posted here each hour on the hour until sometime around 1am GMT. After this, we’ll just have to see what comes to me in my addled state.

I don’t want to make the front page too heavy, so sometimes a link will feature instead of the image.

Click here to see a large version of this image over at B3ta.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030726
FAQ: Who will you vote for at the next election?
Time
14:25
Hehehe – I bet you can all guess who asked this question.

My local MP is doing a great job, and has even taken the time to ask a question in parliament on my behalf. Her name is Sue Doughty, and she can pretty much count on my vote at the next election.

I would think, however, that in my particular case politicians should be more concerned about which member or party campaign I work for. Or against. (Tim Yeo, I’m looking in your direction…)

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030726
FAQ: How can I search the archives?
Time
15:04
You can’t. Sorry about that. I like this format, as it automatically hides my archives from Google (‘Thou shalt not pollute or corrupt search engines’). I’ve been thinking for a while about converting to Movable Type (and hiding the archives with noindex/nofollow tags) but it would take at least 6-8 solid weeks to migrate the old archives to the new system.

Perhaps if I win the lottery tonight, I’ll take those 6-8 weeks off work, or hire a few monkeys with typing experience.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030726
The 4007th Project – Image #2
Time
15:05
He has a thriving practice in Fort Wayne… and a fish tank worth One! Million! Dollars!

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030726
FAQ: What is the point? It is the most totally pointless experience I have ever seen!
Time
15:20
You’ve just answered your own question. Thanks. Now I have time to eat a late lunch.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030726
FAQ: What do you read?
Time
16:02
Apart from lots and lots websites, you mean?

I read Private Eye and The Week without fail. I get The Guardian delivered on Mondays and Thursdays (mostly for the New Media and Online sections) and I read The Independent over breakfast on Saturdays and Sundays.

Books are harder to nail down, because I read all sorts of garbage. My favourite author would have to be Douglas Adams. My favourite book is Nineteen Eighty Four by George Orwell.

I don’t sleep well if I drop off reading a book, so I usually read graphic novels when I’m in bed. Batman, Sandman, etc.

From Hell is the best graphic novel I’ve read in the last year, but my favourite remains The Dark Knight Returns.

Oh, and I’m not at all ashamed to admit that I still enjoy Viz, but only because it’s suitably (and increasingly) expensive.

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Date
20030726
The 4007th Project – Image #3
Time
16:04
“Are you looking for casualties?”

“No. I’m just looking.”

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Date
20030726
FAQ: OK, so who really did sing Underneath The Mango Tree in Dr No?
Time
16:22
Monica Van der Syl did the voice dubs for Ursula Andress, but the singing was done by Diana Coupland (see: Bless This House). Oh, and the soundtrack released in 1962 actually features Connery have a crack at this same song.

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Date
20030726
FAQ: Do you still get email for Tony Blair?
Time
16:51
Yes.

The volume has decreased greatly since the campaign started, but a few people still slip through the net each day. Oh, and some Russian dipweed has this address on a spamming list.

Here are two emails addressed to Tony Blair that arrived yesterday:

From: Esther Ku

Subject: Please leave Isreal allone.

Body: We strongly demand that Israel be allowed to determine her destiny without foreign design forcing its hand.

From: Jafar Seraj

Subject: I will do anything for in iran!!!!!!!!

Body: I am an 18 years old boy from shiraz-iran. Living in iran is very hard. Our family is under pessure and we need about 40000$. I also like to come to you & join to you & be one of your good men. Can you help me ?. I need money very much if you can pay me I will give you an account number. I am looking forward for your agree answer.

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Date
20030726
The 4007th Project – Image #4
Time
16:54
“Flattery will get you nowhere… but don’t stop trying!”

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Date
20030726
FAQ: Do you live off your books?
Time
17:30
Ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha*(breeeeeeeeeeeeeathe)*ahahahahahahahaha!

Erm, no. I make my money just like everyone else in new media – through amateur pornography.

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Date
20030726
FAQ: Where’s this novel you keep promising us?
Time
17:53
Heh. I knew someone would ask about this.

Still in my head, I’m sad to say. Every character, every set piece and the path of the plot that sews them together has been bouncing around up there for months now. I did get some writing done on my recent Dead Blog Holiday, but I haven’t done a heck of a lot since then.

UPDATE – Just poked my nose out into the hall, and yes, the laptop I use for this does have a thin layer of dust on it. Why the laptop? Well, I know that if I sit down at this computer and start on it, then nothing else will get done until it’s finished. And I need to eat.

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Date
20030726
The 4007th Project – Image #5
Time
18:04
BJ Bond.

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Date
20030726
FAQ: Who is your favourite gay icon?
Time
18:26
That’s an interesting question. I wonder if it relates to my correspondence with Cherie Blair

Hmm, let me see… I’m tempted to name Harry Potter or Bob The Builder, but as a considerable amount of courage is required to express a taste for anything but vanilla, I’ll have to pick the one man brave enough to walk off the job and express his desire to become a lumberjack!

PS – Thanks to TTR2 for the sponsorship boost that just came through.

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Date
20030726
FAQ: What… is your favourite colour?
Time
18:54
Heh. Cute. And it is blue.

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Date
20030726
The 4007th Project – Image #6
Time
18:54
BJ vs. Jaws

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Date
20030726
FAQ: What music do you listen to?
Time
19:25
I like a lot of older Australasian bands because I’m an older Australasian.

Australian Crawl, Cold Chisel, Mental as Anything and Split Enz are some perennial favourites. I don’t think I’d be able to name one favourite song, but if I could it would probably be one of the following:

Razor’s Edge – Goanna

When The War Is Over – Cold Chisel

I’m Gonna Release Your Soul – Dave Graney

You Gotta Know – Supergroove

Mountain – Chocolate Starfish

An American Trilogy – Elvis Presley

Beyond the Blue Horizon – Michael Nesmith

On Earth As It Is In Heaven – Ennio Morricone

In the last half-hour, the two songs I enjoyed the most were, Don’t Stop Believing and Science Fiction Double Feature.

The most promising unsigned artists I know of are Anthony Snape and the irrepressible Koit.

Enough?

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Date
20030726
FAQ: Does Tim Yeo know you exist?
Time
19:52
Yes. In fact, even if he hadn’t been spotted peeking at the Tim Yeo Weblog by a number of spies inside parliament, there’s still the small matter of naughty images being circulated by his colleagues on a regular basis. He’s just a stubborn cuss is all. He’ll probably apologise when he realises that I mean what I say about stalking him right up until the next election. And beyond. This ain’t over yet.

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Date
20030726
The 4007th Project – Image #7
Time
19:56
“The name’s Pearce. Hawkeye Pearce.”

Click here to see the mightily big version over at B3ta.

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Date
20030726
FAQ: Daddy or chips?
Time
20:30
Chips are The Daddy!

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Date
20030726
FAQ: Who would you like to spend 8 weeks with in the Big Brother house? (You can have up to 6 others.)
Time
20:58
Oooh, can I? Thanks ever so much:

Willie Aames

Jack T. Chick

Kenneth Copeland

David Icke

and

Kristin Johnson (just in case)

Final choice would be a toss-up between Chris Morris and Mark Thomas.

Are you sure I can’t have seven?

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Date
20030726
The 4007th Project – Image #8
Time
21:00
“He did what to the Aston Martin?”

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Date
20030726

Time
21:28
FAQ: Is Mrs Ireland buying “but it’s for charity, dear” as an excuse for spending 24 hours in front of the ‘puter?

“I was, before all of the rubbish with getting three noisy, rowdy children in to bed rapidly changed my mind!!!!!!! Now, I’m not so sure…”

Mrs Ireland

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Date
20030726

Time
21:38
Well, isn’t this a suprise?

Naked women safari hunt ‘was hoax’

Michael Burdick was the man behind it, and now the Mayor of Las Vegas wants his butt in a sling.

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Date
20030726
FAQ: You’ve mentioned in the past that you used to be a DJ. Did you have some of those lights that flashed in time with the music?
Time
21:58
What, you mean like this? Heh. Yes, I did. And when you dropped one of these in 1989, it cost $24 just to replace the bulbs.

I carried around the standard kit for about two years on weekends (I seemed to spend forever doing weddings at The Sebel Town House). On weekdays, I got to go out and play with a 2000W sound system, complete with a massive lighting rig (par cans, giant mirror ball, alligator, helicopters, scanners and strobes, all hooked up on 18 feet of lightweight truss) and a huge video screen. A pity it mostly went to waste on school kids requesting Milli Vanilli.

Once I hit nightclubs, I usually had a light rig big enough warrant an assistant (altogether now – wooooooooooo) but my main weakness was for screens, because I mostly played music video.

The best club I ever worked in was Dave’s Place in Taren Point, NSW. A fun, no-hang-ups crowd, great staff, all the beer and/or XLR8 I could drink… and TV screens as faaaaar as the eye could see.

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Date
20030726
The 4007th Project – Image #9
Time
22:00
“No, Mr Pearce. I expect you to die!”

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Date
20030726
FAQ: Do you think you’ll make the full 24 hours?
Time
22:27
That’s a very good question. Just one post every half-hour takes a lot of keeping up. Thank Dog I did most of my images collation for the 4007th Project ahead of time, or I’d be a complete wreck and 12 posts behind by now.

Image-surfing takes a lot of time on a modem, so I’m not sure how much photoshopping there’s going to be after 1am (when I run out of source images). Added to this, my FTP access does have a tendency to drop out on Sundays, it’s going to very much be a case of ‘wait and see.’

Hm.

I think that – if I do make it – it’s going to have to be with much shorter answers.

I’m also a little worried about that time beyond the wee small hours. I always get a bit manic when the only thing holding me up is adrenalin.

(Hey, how about that? You get two answers for the price of one here!)

FAQ: How did you get the nickname ‘Manic’…?

See above.

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Date
20030726
FAQ: What gave you the idea for starting Bloggerheads?
Time
23:01
Nothing, really. The technology was there to better do what I normally did (boy, it is getting late, isn’t it?), so I grabbed it.

Before this I pumped acres of stuff into Usenet, ran a newsletter for another.com (tell you what, the first person who sends me a copy of a genuine another.com newsletter by Evil Tim wins a free book) and then did reporting on stuff that was buzzing about for Zingin.com (which has since given birth to The Friday Thing.

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Date
20030726
The 4007th Project – Image #10
Time
23:04
“Look up! Look Down! Look Out!

Click here to see the big one at B3ta.

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Date
20030726
FAQ: What was your first attempt at viral marketing, and did it work or just show you what NOT to do?
Time
23:33
Offline, my first attempt was when I was about 12. I took rolls of those small yellow ‘dot’ stickers and cut wedges out of each one until I had strips and strips of miniature Pac-man stickers for distribution. I had most of the kids in my class wearing them for about a week – then it was back to the beatings.

Online, I’m not entirely sure. But this page from 1998 is still live and doing good work. As you can probably tell, I had yet to discover the wonders of Photoshop (or even anti-aliasing, for that matter).

Given time, I may be able to fire up the old beast and rustle up a screengrab of my first-ever site. In fact, I’ll do this the moment I get a new sponsor on board.

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Date
20030727
FAQ: How many people read your site every day?
Time
00:01
On a good day, I reach about 1,000 people before breakfast. At slower times, it takes me most of the day to reach this many people.

There are about 200 regular readers (people who come back each and every day). Today, 167 of them have showed up.

I did a major traffic rundown on my first blog birthday, and I’ll probably repeat it again this year.

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Date
20030727
The 4007th Project – Image #11
Time
00:02
“As you can see, I’m going to inaugurate a little war.”

Click here to see a massive version at B3ta.

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Date
20030727
FAQ: Are you running out of questions yet?
Time
00:30
Yes. I may have to start talking to myself soon – or scanning through some of Tony’s mail for a few.

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Date
20030727
FAQ: Where do you stand on file sharing, e.g. people downloading music without paying for it?
Time
01:02
I want to send a copy of Bohemian Like You by the Dandy Warhols to a musician who hasn’t heard it. I can and will do it by MP3. I paid for the CD, and the file is being exchanged for reference purposes only because…

I want to do a parody of the track. I’d be producing something genuinely transformative that comments on the original work/artist. I can and would do that.

However…

Just as I wouldn’t want that resulting work lifted then distributed without my consent, I wouldn’t do this same thing to another artist.

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Date
20030727
The 4007th Project – Image #12
Time
01:04
Here’s the last of the 4007th photoshops:

“Goodbye, Farewell and Etc.”

Big one’s over at B3ta.

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Date
20030727
FAQ: Where did the tortoise / military helmet come from?
Time
01:25
It’s a turtle, not a tortoise. There used to be a peaceful, swimming turtly stamp thing up there, but I sourced a tougher turtle and slapped the Full Metal Jacket ‘Born To Blog’ helmet on there when I started getting more militant. I’ve been thinking about phasing it out and making an overdue return to fluffiness, but:

1. I need to raise about $100 to pay the photographer of the picture I really, really want and I’ve been well-short of silly money lately.

2. There’s still quite a lot to be angry about.

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Date
20030727
FAQ: Are you drunk yet?
Time
01:33
I am getting there, but I have to pace myself for obvious reashons.

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Date
20030727
FAQ: Every Aussie I know is able to drink like a fish the night before and be fine, nay, *better* than normal in the morning. How *do* you buggers do it?
Time
01:44
We understand the value of the occasional glass of water.

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Date
20030727
FAQ: Who is the most famous person you ever met?
Time
01:56
Chris Evans who, interestingly, lives just a few miles from my place.

Like to meet? I’d love to spend an hour or so in the pub with Richard O’Brien who, annoyingly, also lives just a few miles from my place. (I see him around from time to time, but I don’t want to be one of those nutbags who waves down celebrities in the street and invites them out for a drink.)

UPDATE – I sneaked past a couple of guards at the Highland Games in 1980 and got within spitting distance of the Queen. Sadly, this doen’t count, as I didn’t have the presence of mind to do any actual spitting while I was there.

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Date
20030727
FAQ: British summer or Australian winter?
Time
02:27
I’d take the British summer, winter and anything in between this climate can throw at me in preference to the uncomfortable extremes in Australia. OK, so the sky has more personality at sunset, but there are nights you can’t sleep and days when it’s not safe to go out between 9am and 2pm without 15+ sunblock. And a shirt. And a big hat. Under an asbestos-lined golf umbrella.

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Date
20030727
FAQ: Which historical figure would have had the best weblog? What would have been on it?
Time
02:57

1. Martin Luther. Uncomfortable truths.

2. Benjamin Franklin. All kinds of loony/great/productive stuff

3. Oscar Wilde. At least twelve policemen. Every single day. Just waiting…

(This question’s from Paul Carr, who launched this awesome blog without telling me about it. It’ll probably go straight onto the navbar when I have sufficient wits about me to dig into code.)

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Date
20030727
FAQ: Do you play a musical instrument?
Time
03:31
No. I’ve tried to pick up a guitar a few times, but every time I do my hands transform into unwieldy claws. It’s not a pretty sight.

I used to play the trombone in the school band, but spent most of my time copying everyone else’s slide movements. To this day, music still looks like a foreign language to me.

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Date
20030727
FAQ: If you were offered a job working for Lego would you take it even if it meant moving to Denmark (or wherever the head office is)?
Time
03:58
Actually, they have a big office in Slough… but I’d probably move to Denmark before I’d move to Slough.

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Date
20030727
FAQ: How many cups of coffee have you had so far, and how many do you think you will have had by 2pm tomorrow?
Time
04:29
I’m just about to have my first (I’ve been keeping it in reserve). Probably ‘lots,’ give or take ‘a few.’

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Date
20030727
FAQ: If you could invite anyone to your dinner party (dead or alive) who would it be and why?
Time
05:01
Jamie Oliver. Dead. I’d want to prop him up in the corner as a conversation piece – and to keep the flies away from the table.

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Date
20030727

Time
05:15
I’m finally starting to flag after 15+ hours in front of the screen. This isn’t helping matters.

I’ve just run out of questions again, too.

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Date
20030727
FAQ: Which part of Australia are you from and why did you leave?
Time
05:42
Sydney.

My wife’s English, and we’d talked for a long time about living there for a bit then living here for a bit (when the time was right). The time was right one afternoon when we were living in the Blue Mountains and I’d just left a TV production job. To get any other job in the same industry, we’d have to move much closer to the city. So we moved here instead.

Apart from the growing social injustice and the extortionate cost of living, I quite like it here.

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Date
20030727

Time
06:02
The more I think about it, the more it makes sense.

The perfect choice for the empty fourth plinth is George Orwell.

UPDATE – Or maybe a great big American eagle that fires live ammunition out its arse at random intervals.

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Date
20030727
FAQ: Why don’t you have an RSS feed?
Time
06:11
Because I’m old and I fear technology. (Actually, I’ve filed this under the never-never zone of an MT upgrade…)

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Date
20030727

Time
06:18
The sun’s coming up. It shouldn’t have bothered. It’s a grey and dreary day. Second wind should be kicking in any time now.

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Date
20030727
FAQ: How do most people find Bloggerheads?
Time
06:25
Most new traffic comes from stuff like the M*A*S*H Quiz, the Star Wars Photoshopping Project and JPEG Baby (currently #23 in Google for ‘love song’).

There are also quite a few people who arrive by following credit or static links from other sites or weblogs.

About 20% of traffic comes in via searches for things like Tony Blair’s email address, mustard man, photoshopping, Star Wars, and how to make money by starting a porn site (see: The Porn Report).

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Date
20030727

Time
06:39
OK, on to more important matters. Cherie singing When I’m 64how did the experts rate her performance?

Actually, did you notice that on the day of the million-strong march in London, Tony was pictured jamming on an electric guitar?

I’m starting to detect a pattern here. In fact, the moment posters go up announcing a West End booking for these two I plan to start stocking up on canned food.

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Date
20030727

Time
07:01
Descriptive text that does this story justice? You’ll be lucky.

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Date
20030727

Time
07:24
Find out how to baptise someone in an emergency.

Book Mimeistry for your next function, and spread the gospel to your friends and co-workers through the international language of mime.

“…and here you can see Joshua trapped inside a box, much like we all feel trapped in this modern world. Now Joshua is walking against the winds of ignorance, and yes, yes, children I think we’re about to see something very special now – and there it is! Only three people in the world can perform this very difficult manoeuvre, but you can go home and tell your parents that today you saw ‘Jesus on a rubber cross’ performed before your very eyes.”

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Date
20030727

Time
07:28
I can’t slee-eep at ni-ight,

Keep seeing men all dressed in white.

And they won’t let my girlfriend talk to me…

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Date
20030727

Time
07:50
This A-Team in Star Wars strip hurts my brain, but I cannot look away.

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Date
20030727
The ‘Out of Order’ Project
Time
08:46
Can anyone tell me when the last episode of the latest series of friend was recorded? For instance, was it any time after this was cut loose in March?

Normally I wouldn’t jump on a shot as long as this but:

1. The timing seems to be on the money.

2. I’m feeling a rather strange right now.

3. Everything that happens or appears in shot is a sitcom happens or appears for a reason (e.g. it only ever snows when somebody gets snowed in – or when it’s Christmas) and the broken-down pinball machine wasn’t used or referenced at all. It just appeared prominently in shot. Eight times.

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Date
20030727
Riding High on Blogdex
Time
08:59
Two brilliantly subversive ideas for you to enjoy: Son of Napster and the Corporate Fallout Detector.

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Date
20030727

Time
09:15
Hm. Only 5 hours to go. I may just make it. I’d need some of the folks just waking up to send in some more bloody questions, though.

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Date
20030727

Time
09:35
Going shopping? See a wholesaler! An extra 20,000 pairs of Nikes never goes astray, and wouldn’t you just hate to wake up one morning and find yourself down to your last drum of Chlormadinone Acetate CP95? Buy now. Buy big!

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Date
20030727

Time
09:45
Try saying Christian Truckers Connection three times really fast, then read the story of the truck driver who thought Jesus was a sissy until a fateful meeting at a roadside diner. It’s Sunday morning. The third wave just kicked in.

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Date
20030727

Time
09:51
Remember now, it’s red poppies for those who suffered and died at war, and black poppies for those who suffered and died in involuntary government-backed zero-trace-evidence experimentation. Tinfoil beanies on, people!

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Date
20030727
FAQ: What’s your best cure for a hangover?
Time
10:05
Orange juice and Vegemite on toast (gentle on the stomach and gives a dual boost of easily digestible sugar and vitamin B12). Ask any Australian about this, and they will tell you that I speak the truth.

Then, you’ll need lots of cold, cold water. And a dark, dark room to hide in. And about 6 more hours of sleep.

Soaking your head in cold water (or using one of those ice packs you only ever see on TV) does wonders for a swollen brain. A toxin-driven hangover will require not one, but two showers. With a Full English Breakfast in between.

FACT: The worst place in the world to wake up with a tequila hangover is a tent in the middle of nowhere on a hot day.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030727
FAQ: Thanks for pointing me towards the spiffy Hanging Day blog. Which other blogs do you regularly read?
Time
10:23
If I read it every day, it’s on my nav bar. Apart from that, I just follow my nose.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030727

Time
11:11
Are you Rapture Ready? You could be called to heaven at any time, so it pays to keep an eye on the news for signs of the end times. This way, you can make sure that you’re wearing clean underwear on high-risk days.

UPDATE – Actually, that’s not a bad idea. Little colour-code warning buttons just like the terror alert system (here’s a far superior version), but designed to inform the faithful of their likelood to be called home by Jesus on any given day. Run it deadpan, get a good list of sign ups, then cut loose with a code red telling them that the boss is here and they’d better start looking busy.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030727
Riding High on Blogdex
Time
11:42
Take a look at George Bush desecrating the U.S. flag.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030727

Time
12:05
Two hours to go, and Tom’s still kicking. That coffee I made myself at about 3 or 4 in the morning went cold as I was typing and surfing. I made do with a Red Bull instead.

So, here I am with the most indepth information and mindless perversion known to man at my fingertips. And I’m bored.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030727

Time
12:39
“What’s that, Skip? Sonny’s trapped where?”

UPDATE – Cool, I see swirly bathroom-tile patterns when I close my eyes.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030727

Time
13:02
One hour to go and – quite a bit later than everybody else – I finally discover Firda’s Will Your Survive the Blogathon? quiz. Apparently I stand a 70% chance of making it through the next hour.

Right now, I’m busy planning my approach.

My bed is cleared and there’s plenty of hot water available for a shower. I’ve just scoffed down a healthy (but not too heavy) lunch and I have one fresh question in my Inbox for the second-to-last post.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030727
FAQ: What superpower would you like to have (and what would your super hero/villain name be)?
Time
13:24
Oh, nothing fancy – just simple telekinesis would do.

I don’t think I’d want to be able to juggle Boeings with my mind, just trigger the occasional traffic light. Erm, and perhaps a modest near-fatal cerebral embolism here and there when it’s called for.

What to call me? Well, ‘Sir’ might be a good start…

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030727
Blogathon 2003 – the Finish Line
Time
14:00
Well, it’s been a gas. I have no idea how ratted this is going to leave me tomorrow, so as my sign-off task, I’ve updated the navbars throughout the site to include Paul’s weblog, Hanging Day.

Thanks to all of my Blogathon sponsors and everybody who chipped in with questions and moral support. All in all we raised $164 for Amnesty International.

Probably the hardest I’ve worked for money in a very long time, but let us not forget that I stood defiantly before the clock and kept the ever-present threat of bedtime at bay for the duration.

Let us not overlook the many grand works of art that were unleashed upon the masses in this time.

Above all, let us not…

Ah, sod it.

Bedtime for me. Hometime for you.

‘night all!

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030728
Blogathon 2003 – Aftermath
Time
08:50
Yes, I’m awake – and in surprisingly good shape. For those who missed them, here are the photoshops done for the Blogathon in chronological order. I’ll make a static collection when I have the time.

The 4007th Project:

one | two | three | four | five | six | seven | eight | nine | ten | eleven | twelve

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030728

Time
08:59
Via Hanging Day we learn of Amy Vicker’s departure from The Mirror. Paul points out that the Mirror’s rebranding of the section (previously known as ‘Amy’s I’ – see it for the last time here) may hit trouble, given that ‘iBlog’ already exists as a registered trademark.

Me, I have other concerns. Amy copped a fair bit of stick online (due to The Mirror’s repeated acts of shameless content theft) but – to her credit – she did her best to defend the actions of her paper openly and honestly when interacting with online communities such as B3ta.com

But now Amy works for The Express (owned and operated by Richard Desmond the Pornographer). Will she still be able to interact openly online? Will she be allowed to? In fact, I’m left wondering if her technology section will be published online at all.

UPDATE – Almost forgot. Paul’s also got an excellent piece on the never-dwindling hopes of portals over at The Guardian this morning.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030728
Does What It Says On The Tin
Time
09:16
how-to-bow.com (link via ultimateinsult.net)

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030728
Only Interesting to Bloggers
Time
09:20
Blog Change Bot is a new monitoring service for AOL Instant Messenger users who want to know the moment when their favourite blogs are updated.

I also got an email during the Blogathon about a new tool that lets technological throwbacks like myself establish an RSS feed – but I lost the link when I was cleaning out the 156 spams I received over the weekend. There’s a pretty good guide to creating an RSS feed including some shortcut options here, but this (new?) service looked pretty spiffy. Could whoever sent it send it again, please? Thanks.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030728

Time
09:28
There’s nothing wrong with a little aggregation here and there but do you really have to suck all the fun out of it?

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030728
Riding High on Blogdex
Time
09:31
Something screwy is going on with an article over at The Washington Post regarding restructuring in Iraq. There are quite a few links floating about as a result, but this one has the full poop.

Also, a predictable amount of outrage has seen a page featured a 9/11 video game chart well… until the webmaster wisely decided to remove the offending page, that is. Those curious to see what what on offer will still be able to catch the page text in Google’s cache for most of today.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030728

Time
09:37
Man who drove parents’ car into lake faces littering charges.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030728
Flash Games
Time
09:41
Alien Hominid (via FunJunkie) is exceptionally bloodthirsty and quite fun, but if you want a brutally simple and addictive game, then take a bite out of the excellent !FISHY!

You’re a small fish. You have to avoid fish bigger than you, because they can and will eat you. However, you can (and will) eat fish that are smaller than you – and as you do, you get bigger and bigger and bigger…

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030728

Time
09:48
Welcome to the 21st Century:

‘Sesame Street’ for grown-ups to teach adults how to fill out forms, balance a checkbook, etc.

7-year-old Taiwanese boy receives treatment for porn addiction.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030728

Time
09:51
For the first time ever, a court has applied traditional property protections to a domain name. We all know how the papers will report it, though… the domain name in question is sex.com

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030728
Been There, Done That
Time
09:53
Keyboard Porn? Sorry, Furniture Porn got there first years ago.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030728

Time
10:04
Life is full of difficult choices.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030728
It’s War! And Somebody’s Telling Porkies!
Time
10:04
Prime Minister of Niger denies claims his nation tried to sell uranium to Iraq. He’s also challenged Tony Blair to prove otherwise.

I’m trying to line myself up as Alastair Campbell’s replacement, so here’s a freebie to get things rolling:

Tony, your best bet is to suddenly make the debate all about email scams.

UPDATE – Missing WMDs and Other Deceptions. Be warned that this article was written by a filthy, lying Ay-rab.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030728

Time
10:09
A BBC has just come up with a great idea for a weekly run-down that’s going to run and run and run:

10 things we didn’t know this time last week

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030728

Time
10:11
Spam e-mailers say they can get around new Louisiana law. I honestly don’t think anything can be achieved by targeting these resilient and unrepentant asshats. Even if there are ironclad laws that make spamming illegal in the U.S., they’ll simply move offshore (it’s not as if they’re going to leave any friends behind or anything).

When local councils in Sydney were having problems with pole posters (a form of street spam put up illegally in the middle of the night to promote bands and DJs appearing at local pubs and clubs) they gave up on trying to catch the culprits in the act and instead prosecuted the people kind enough to put their name and address on the posters.

Spam needs a similar solution; the primary target should be the advertisers.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030728
Flash Games
Time
12:13
Get three workmates and start huddling around the keyboard – now! 4D Pong is here, people – and productivity will never be the same again.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030728

Time
14:42
Time to blow the dust off the oldest obit on the shelf: Bob Hope has finally passed on.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030728
Photoshopping
Time
18:09
No, I don’t think the lack of sleep has had a pronounced effect on me. Why do you ask?

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030729

Time
08:51
Well, as Paul notes, The Mirror’s iblog has launched, and with just the right shade of desperate neediness:

“I was going to say ‘Welcome to our GREAT new feature etc….’ But that’s for YOU to judge. E-mail this link www.mirror.co.uk/iblog to all your friends.”

(I do wish they wouldn’t SHOUT….)

Of course, this one is bigger and better, because it has not one writer but five; Steve, Ben, Neil, Kev and Naveed. Kind of like the 3am Girls, then. But with less friends.

You may want to pop over and watch the first car-crash of an entry (starts with plug for Orange, then moves swiftly on to cutting-edge news about Star Wars Kid and Islamic text divorces), but if you do, you’ll have to cut and paste the URL. If they want Google-juice from me, they’re going to have to earn it:

http://www.mirror.co.uk/iblog/

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030729

Time
09:04
Nothing says ‘advanced science’ quite like brains in a petri dish. Controlling robots on the other side of the planet, no less. The end days are upon us.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030729

Time
09:06
Missing: 50 pound, 7 ft tall boy, with chef’s hat and big, round belly. He won’t get far; he left his shoes behind.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030729
Yet Another Lame Quiz
Time
09:10
Just found The Freak Test via The Ultimate Insult. Apparently I’m 58.5% freak. I scored extra points for starting my own religion and having people convert to it.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030729

Time
09:16
See Doc Oc on the poster for Spiderman II.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030729
Oldies But Goodies
Time
09:17
Spaced Penguin is great stuff. My kids play it all the time.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030729
Telemarketers
Time
09:19
Telemarketers Sue Over Do-Not-Call List. They claim it will devastate the industry. Well, boo-effing-hoo.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030729

Time
09:23
Vote #1 Georgy! She’s an underdog that’s, like, totally bitchin’!

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030729
It’s War! And Things Is Getting Ridiculous!
Time
09:24
The Pentagon is setting up a stock-market style system in which investors would bet on ‘terror attacks, assassinations and other events in the Middle East.’ Yes, you read that right.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030729
Photoshopping
Time
09:26
I’m going to be exploring scraminals over the next few days. Do try to keep your trousers dry.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030730

Time
09:01
A great collection of censored cartoons (via Ultimate Insult). The Amazing Formula guy is alo a great find. Go and see Scott for the linkage.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030730

Time
09:04
Wedding recption ends in riot. It all started when a police officer spotted a 13-year-old girl drinking alcohol.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030730
Does What It Says On The Tin
Time
09:07
How do dinosaurs fit with the Bible?

“When God created the world, dinosaurs were one of His creations. God created all the animals… Like Adam, the bodies of the first dinosaurs were formed from the dust of the earth. Man and dinosaurs lived at the same time.”

All this and more available from christiananswers.net

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030730
Riding High on Blogdex
Time
09:10
Blake’s 7 set for hi-tech return. It just won’t be the same without wobbly sets and shoddy effects. Still, in these enlightened times, we can look forward to some serious man-nip action. Even Batman has rubber nipples these days.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030730

Time
09:13
Parents: White Teacher Should Not Teach Black History

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030730

Time
09:16
Read a letter home from a 2nd lieutenant stationed north of Baghdad. The local insect population laughs at his meagre chemical controls, and people keep shooting at him.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030730

Time
09:18
El Reg: Copying is Theft – and other legal myths.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030730
Flash Thingies
Time
09:19
Your own personal liquid slave. Will follow your cursor anywhere. Make him wiggle for maximum enjoyment.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030730
Yet Another Lame Quiz
Time
09:21
Well overdue, this one: Which Willy Wonka character are you?

It says that I’m Willy. That’s Mr Wonka to you….

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030730

Time
09:24
New research suggests that some cigarette brands are likely to be far more addictive than others.

On a semi-related topic, you may wish to drop by and see Elvis out of his mind of drugs.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030730

Time
09:27
Al-Qaida May Be Planning More Hijackings, say US Officials. Now is this a genuine threat, or yet another cynical press release meant to keep us on our toes?

In other news, the Pentagon has abandoned its plan for a futures market based on terrorist activity. Well, that lasted all of 24 hours. Now we wait quietly for someone to start an unofficial version online.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030730

Time
09:32
Sliced bread celebrates its 75th anniversary.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030730
Blogathon 2003 – Aftermath
Time
09:40
I’ve still got reliable incoming email, but outgoing remains a problem – so I’m going to have to deal with this on the blog:

The email sent out by the Blogathon chaps to sponsors is the wrong one. It sends you to the Amnesty International sign-up page.

The proper donation URL is:

http://www.amnesty.org.uk/support/donation.shtml

Thanks to Rich for the heads-up.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030730
Photoshopping
Time
09:43
Another scraminal for you. Not as scary as yesterday’s, but it is unique in that it crows sometime around midday.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030730
Flash Music Video
Time
12:55
JPEG Baby has just entered the top ten in Google for the single-word search query ‘JPEG’.



It’s still only #23 or thereabouts for ‘love song,’ but give it time…

UPDATE – Well shut mah mouth! JPEG Baby is now bouncing around up at 1st-4th place for ‘love song’ (depending on which version of Google you use).

(insert evil laugh here)

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030730
Flash Games
Time
16:17
Time to go harvesting children in the dark woods. All you’ve got are your wits, a flying broom, and a great big bubbling cauldron…

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030731

Time
08:52
Enjoy this collection of absurd patents from the UK and lesser colonies. My favourite is the horse-powered mini-bus.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030731

Time
08:56
Florida smoking ban leads to tobacco-infused drink. No surprises there.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030731

Time
08:57
Baptist church wishes to increase congregation diversification – offers to pay white people to attend.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030731

Time
08:58
Texas redistricting explained for the average American. Pizza and donuts, anyone?

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030731

Time
09:01
Blood oozes out of apartment walls in western Indian city of Ahmedabad. It’s been formally identified as human blood by forensic experts, but no-one knows where its coming from. Could Monkey Man be to blame?

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030731

Time
09:03
What could be more useful that a shoe size – penis size conversion chart?

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030731

Time
09:04
Blowtorch-wielding bandit accidentally burns booty. Also, scroll down this brief list of fire reports for a story that really needs to be told.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030731

Time
09:07
Oooh, look who else is calling something I-Blog. The Mirror’s wanna-blog is still a month or so behind the rest of the world, featuring as it does today Matrix-style ping pong. They also need to get over this unhealthy obsession with eBay. Still no Google-juice for them:

http://www.mirror.co.uk/iblog/

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030731
A Reader Writes…
Time
09:24
stopabductions.com is a real website. It is about a real device and has

real case histories. The other website you mention on your site is a parody

of stopabductions.com It is demeaning and in poor taste.

See Michael Menkin’s new website, aliensandchildren.org for more information

and proof of alien abductions and the success of the thought screen helmet.

Michael Menkin

stopabductions.com

aliensandchildren.org

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030731

Time
09:28
A week without e-mail is more traumatic than moving house or getting divorced, say techies. Damn right. Being unable to reply is really starting to get my goat.

Chris, the donation link you need for the Blogathon is here. Please don’t send any money to me directly; I’d only spend it on beer.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030731
Does What It Says On The Tin
Time
09:33
Make your dog or cat the toughest moggie or doggie of the neighbourhood with the help of tattoo-a-pet.com! An individual tracking number is only $35, but for a little bit extra they may throw in a cool flaming skull or a picture of a naked lady.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030731

Time
09:46
This page has been eaten by monsters.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030731
Photoshopping
Time
11:01
More scraminals for you to enjoy.

You might want to put this image to one side until next Easter. In the meantime, it will just have to haunt your dreams…

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030731

Time
11:23
My wife brought some of these home yesterday. They are beyond cool:

Animal-shaped rubber bands!

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030731
The Political Weblog Movement
Time
11:58
What’s an RFID tag and why should you care? This post from Tom Watson is an excellent run-down of how he became aware of them them and why he’s decided to take action. Go Tom, go!

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030731
Updates
Time
15:42
Most of you are aware that I’m now focusing on business/e-commerce a lot more than I have been recently. I’ll be doing this work through Screen Pages Ltd. (they’re a smart bunch, they appreciate where I’m coming from and – even better – they’re less than 10 miles from my front door).

The Bloggerheads business section has enjoyed a long-overdue overhaul and now ties in neatly with this new relationship.

There is also new primary linkage above for the search engine seminar I’ll be giving in early September (as UKNM subscribers will no doubt be aware, I’ve been meaning to do one of these for over a year now).

In the coming days, my brand new Domokun Kettle (won at FunJunkie) will take pride of place in the office kitchen.

That is all.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030731
Photoshopping
Time
17:03
All new! All fluffy! Not at all tainted by scandal! (And quite likely to drop by your house with a basket full of chocolate eggs.)

Seriously, how could you not love this face?

01-17 July, 2003

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Date
20030701
Only Interesting to Bloggers
Time
08:44
Why we need Echo* (*new name coming soon).

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030701
Doing The Rounds
Time
08:48
A new headline to suit those items that you’ve probably already seen a million times, but that I need to blog for my own reference:

The Illustrated Catalog Of ACME Products

That note on the fridge door.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030701

Time
08:51
27-Year-Old Man Poses as Teenage Girl. He’s over 6 feet tall and weighs 180 pounds, but has still managed to convince people that he’s a (very ugly) teenage girl – and has taken shelter with a number of families under this guise.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030701

Time
08:56
Finally, a message of hope and fellowship from the stars.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030701

Time
08:59
Overpriced but quite cool vintage sideshow banners (link via Ultimate Insult).

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030701

Time
09:02
I’ll be signing up for the 2003 Blogathon as soon as the back-end lets me.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030701

Time
09:03
Bloggers Gain Libel Protection (but only if they live in the States). Turns out that this is a conversation after all. Cindy Cohn, legal director of the Electronic Frontier Foundation, said:

“One-way news publications have editors and fact-checkers, and they’re not just selling information — they’re selling reliability. But on blogs or e-mail lists, people aren’t necessarily selling anything, they’re just engaging in speech. That freedom of speech wouldn’t exist if you were held liable for every piece of information you cut, paste and forward.”

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030701

Time
09:12
Roy Taylor Ministries presents American Pie and the Armageddon Bible Prophecy.

And I looked, and behold a pink carnation and a pick-up truck, and upon the pick-up truck one sat like a lonely teenage broncing buck, having on his head a thorny crown, and in his hand a coat he borrowed from James Dean. Or something like that.

Hmmm. I’ll have to take a closer look at this. Time to refer to the Annotated “American Pie” page….

Wow, how about that? Mick Jagger is Satan! Now it’s all starting to make sense!

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030701

Time
09:23
Heh. A Microsoft Word version of a certain dossier was published online. Microsoft Word keeps quite comprehensive revision logs that anybody who downloads the file can dig into. Similar documents are now published in PDF format.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030701

Time
09:29
Israel acknowledges running secret detention centre. Prisoners are kept in black, windowless cells. When they ask where they are, they are told: “On the moon.”

And, presumably, that their name is now ‘Alice.’

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030701

Time
09:33
Jim Carrey run down by Stephen Hawking. The Sun is there.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030701

Time
09:35
I’m sure that Howard Dean’s a good man and a solid candidate, but I really wish that he’d taken the time to blog properly. Now every politician with dollar signs in their eyes is going to take one look at this and decide that Dean’s faux-blog is the model to follow.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030701
Tim Yeo: Campaign Hijacker
Time
10:25
Well, how about that? Tim Yeo has actually taken action, asked a question that nails down a date, and received an answer. August is the promised delivery date. Knowing the folks from Tony Blair’s communications unit, the exact date is probably the 47th of August, but at least we have something beyond vague guestimations such as ‘in the new year’ or ‘very soon.’

The interesting thing is that this question was submitted on Thursday 26th June, the day after I requested (as part of a very kind offer) that he ‘ask a question in parliament designed to nail down an actual delivery date on a viable service for Tony Blair’ (see Bloggerheads archives for Wed 25 Jun).

See? I told you he reads his emails.

Pity he doesn’t answer them.

Applause for the action. A mighty big ‘yah-boo-sucks’ for the ongoing hypocrisy.

Thinking that perhaps Mr Yeo was a technophobe, I gave up on email and called his office yesterday on the telling-bone. I left a message. I left my home number. Did I get a reply? No.

Now, of course, we get more column inches for Mr Yeo and still no recognition for the core campaign that actually drove this forward.

I’m happy about the result, but I’m still mightily pissed off with the attitude, so if Tim Yeo thinks this is enough to calm me down, he’s very, very wrong.

An apology is still due. And I’m going to continue to fight for it.

UPDATE – Thanks to Rog for the scan of The Mail on Sunday. More pictures will follow soon. Today, I’m publishing Tim Yeo’s phone numbers and email addresses on the Tim Yeo : Campaign Hijacker page and the Tim Yeo weblog.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030701
Big Brother 4
Time
10:28
You know, I came *this* close to actually watching Big Brother last night after hearing whispers that the new inmate Lisa was really a man.

Then I realised that I didn’t give a damn either way, and spent the evening watching lousy documentaries instead.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030701
Something Awful
Time
11:57
If you’ve turned up here from the Something Awful forums, can you please send me details of the specific thread where the linkage is? My referral stats won’t feed me the info, and the search function won’t work (yes, I’ve paid) and I’ve hunted and poked around, but simply cannot find the bloody thing. It’s probably just another mention of Mustard Man, but I’d like to know all the same. Ta.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030702

Time
08:41
The Funjunkie competition is starting to heat up. The challenge is to show your devotion by sending in a picture including you and their name. The prize is a digital camcorder, and girly body parts are enjoying a late run.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030702

Time
08:45
Aggravate your hangover with the Headacher. Don’t be afraid to play with the pull-down menu. There are some spectacular concepts in the collection that will make you want to stab your eyeballs with a pencil, and I’d hate for you to miss any of them. (Link via Ultimate Insult.)

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030702
Animal Kingdom
Time
08:50
Mutilated cat cases continue in Denver and public reaction to the slaughter of eight puppies in Arcata has led to the arrest of two brothers. Meanwhile, a huge, gelatinous sea creature washed up on the shore is baffling Chilean scientists.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030702

Time
08:56
Web firms choose profit over privacy. Most of them do their level best to convince/fool you to opt in, but some companies take the opt-out list and sell it regardless of customers’ wishes. Everyone’s getting spammed anyway, so who’s going to know, right?

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030702

Time
09:02
Poll suggests that 52% of Americans believe the US has found clear evidence that Saddam was working closely with al-Qaida. I say ‘suggests’ because they only polled 1,000 people. Still…

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030702
Only Interesting to Bloggers
Time
09:07
Businesses use blogs to help get their name out there. Still very limited take-up in the commercial sector. Honesty scares some people. Most marketing managers also consider Adwords to be a form of search engine optimisation, so the full benefits of blogs completely pass them by.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030702

Time
09:09
Ah, this explains the minor traffic spike resulting from a sudden rush of searches yesterday for Michael Carroll. It was either a bunch of journalists looking for an angle or extra paragraph on this story, or a bunch of readers reacting to same:

16-year-old wins lottery.

UPDATE – This may also have something to do with it:

Lottery winner fined for benefits fraud

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030702

Time
09:18
Honest observation or digitally-altered pot-stirring? When in doubt, listen to the rhubarb. Most folks are taking this at face value and reacting pretty much as you woulkd expect, but I found at least one chap amongst the linkage who plans on doing a little fact-checking. Well, actually, I suspect he’s really calling to enjoy a minor rant. We shall see.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030702

Time
09:31
Overheated sperm getting you down? Shield your precious seed with the protective wonder of Sauna Pants. This site contains some irresistible Engrish.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030702
Telemarketers
Time
09:35
Telemarketing victim strikes back by calling back. About 100 times. Heh.

“I just called them every five minutes and let them know that, no I don’t have a crack in my windshield, because this seems to be something they are very concerned about.”

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030702
Tim Yeo: Campaign Hijacker
Time
09:37
A new image has been added to the gallery today, entitled:

“Conservative Beefcake”

I’d really like to know what’s going on in Tim Yeo’s mind.

Does he think this storm will blow over? Maybe he’s of the opinion that said storm is taking place in a teacup.

All I know is that I deserve an apology and I’m not going to leave the man alone until I get one.

Really, is it that difficult? The man has made at least one apology before (regarding Tory failures on the BSE crisis).

Here, listen to Tim Yeo saying ‘sorry.’ The word didn’t stick in his throat. The heavens didn’t fall. What’s stopping him from turning this minor disagreement into a major web presence?

I really would like to know.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030702
My 10th Wedding Anniversary
Time
10:09
Tomorrow is my 10th wedding anniversary. Last year I said something nice about the missus. This year, it’s your turn.

Bloggerheads may seem like little old me operating independently out of my web-shed, but without the ongoing backing and inspiration that this woman provides, it probably wouldn’t exist at all.

Remember, this is a woman who gave me full and unwavering support when I went out and marched for peace (again and again and again). Who understood why I had to go out in the wee small hours with Out Of Order signs or a handful of playground chalk. Who took it very well when I called her from Trafalgar Square to let her know that I’d just suffered a minor collapse, so if she saw it live on TV, then she shouldn’t worry.

Above all, this is a woman who is incredibly tolerant of the time I spend glued to my computer.

Show your appreciation with a short email today via the following address:

kate AT bloggerheads DOT com

Thank you.

(Note – Emails will not be blogged. They’re for the missus and the missus alone.)

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030702

Time
10:47
That image of Lisa from Big Brother (see yesterday’s bloggage) is currently No.1 on the Lycos Viral Chart. Resulting traffic spike? As far as I can tell, about 3 or 4 people searching for ‘bloggerheads.com’ in Google.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030702

Time
15:24
Damn, I missed Canada Day. Again. Oh well, there is this (thanks, Simon).

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030703
The Political Weblog Movement
Time
07:53
There’s going to be very little bloggage today, but I will take a few moments to send you in this direction:

Political weblogs: spread the gospel

Thanks to everyone who sent email yesterday. It was and is appreciated.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030704
Told You So
Time
08:34
To everybody I’ve had a drunken conversation with in the last two months:

1. Sorry about your cat.

2. Remember how I pointed out that in 1997 stark new warning labels were introduced on cigarette packets in Australia and a cottage industry sprang up overnight selling ‘amusing’ fake labels to cover them up? Well, stark new warning labels have been with us in the UK for about 8 weeks now… and a cottage industry has sprung up overnight selling ‘amusing’ fake labels to cover them up:

FakeFags.com

FagTags.com

The former company hopes to market themselves via an affiliate scheme. The latter seems to think that sticking their labels all over the walls of the London Underground is the way to go.

UPDATE – Michael Pastor was kind enough to email details of a site that lets you download free samples. Not that you couldn’t make them yourself with MS Word in about 2 minutes…

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030704
Telemarketers
Time
08:36
How Farkers deal with Telemarketers.

In other news, Telemarketers are seeking new ways of invading your life now national ‘do not call’ list is in place. They just don’t get the message, do they?

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030704

Time
08:38
Wyoming man fired from Home Depot for criticising the CEO on his website.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030704
Riding High on Blogdex
Time
08:44
Yesterday’s Guardian article on political weblogging is currently #3 on the Blogdex chart. Here’s their list of people talking about it, and here’s another list courtesy of Technorati.

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Date
20030704
When Monkeys Run Amok
Time
08:49
Escaped circus monkey invades pizzeria and vandalises ladies room.

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Date
20030704
Flash Games
Time
08:51
Peeball! A genuine challenge, and more fun than flushing halfway through and trying to beat the cistern. (Link via FunJunkie.)

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030704

Time
09:02
Bush Asks Congress For $30 Billion To Help Fight War On Criticism.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030704

Time
09:04
Go Joe! See the missing G.I. Joe episodes and photos of G.I. Joe in WW2.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030704
Oldies but Goodies
Time
09:08
The Rocky & Bullwinkle Horror Picture Show. I’m sure I remember seeing this back in 1998, but every good effort deserves a revival now and again.

Speaking of which, Tom Watson’s ‘Teens!’ page is enjoying a solid comeback (including reported discussion on the Popbitch boards and – strangely – inclusion in the Wimbledon commentary).

Cue many, many abusive emails from outraged individuals – most of them over 30 – who genuinely think that Tom is ‘for real’ in trying to get down wiv da yoof.

Tom is now posting extracts from the best of these at his regular weblog, but I think he might be a little misguided in blaming the Yeo crew for the bulk of it. Yeo’s not that smart, and people in general are that stupid.

If that sounds a bit harsh, consider that 8% of of Londoners say ‘take me home’ to a cabbie, before promptly failing to remember their address.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030704
Corporate Fun and Games
Time
09:30
Boycott Blockbuster and dig deeper into The McGriddle. I saw these monstrosities when I was in Boston. They have maple syrup baked into the bun. Baked. Into. The. Bun.

Eggs, bacon, sausage – and maple syrup? I’m sorry, but just the thought of it makes my stomach turn.

Incidentally, you may remember the whole ‘you can’t take photos in Starbucks’ fuss recently. Well, I tried to take a picture of the McGriddles range on offer, and this is the result.

Why is the photo so blurred? Well, just out of shot is a till attendant taking a good hold of my elbow and telling me that I’m not allowed to take photos inside McDonalds.

Silly me, I forgot to write a letter to the central office and ask permission first.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030704
Feedback Friday
Time
12:48
After over a year of banging my head against the brick wall of business, I shifted my attention to politics. I now see this area as ready to snowball. I’m talking to some folks what I trust to offer a set-price solution for MPs who need a blog, so I can move on.

Or, rather, back.

From next week onwards, my focus will return to e-commerce.

That is all.

(Oh go on, then. You can make a comment about that if you really feel you need to. It is Friday, after all…)

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030705

Time
17:11
Tom’s Teens page: ‘just another’ viral campaign? Charming. Someone’s nose is out of joint.

UPDATE – Actually, it may very well be mine. Oh well. I’m still trying to work out just what is going on with this sentence:

“On first reading, we thought it was just another viral campaign from search-engine optimist-cum-Internet prankster Tim Ireland, whose production credits appear on the site. But no, Tom Watson is a real live politician. So yes it is another viral.”

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030707
Does What It Says On The Tin
Time
08:23
bathroomsurvey.com

www.deadmalls.com

www.hairyback.com

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030707

Time
08:24
New internet service allows citizens to create dossiers on government officials. If you don’t talk with us, we’re going to talk about you…

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030707

Time
08:26
Doped-up rats run amok in Queensland police station after digging into display of speed and pot.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030707

Time
08:30
BBC reports rumbles Amsterdam spammer. His world is now crashing down around his ears. Go and watch the fall.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030707
Flash Games
Time
08:36
Save the little space-dude’s home. Poke around for the clickable links. You’ll work it out.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030707
Christianity Watch
Time
08:38
Lightning hits preacher moments after he calls to God, asking for a sign.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030707

Time
08:43
Tom’s Teens page was featured on Pg. 2 of Saturdays’ Financial Times. They gave the wrong URL. This caused many people to (finally) discover Tom’s 404 page (hint: if you only get a standard warning, try this.

(UPDATE – Sorry. Used wrong link on ‘this.’ Something more useful is now in place.)

Another newspaper called as a result. They were convinced that Tom’s site had been hacked.

Now Tom’s running a competition, challenging web folk to design a better 404 page. This entry is my favourite so far.

Oh, and on the subject of hacking, please look both ways before you cross this street.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030707
The Political Weblog Movement
Time
08:54
Despite the New Focus, I will be attending the following Voxpolitics Seminar:

Can Weblogs Change Politics?

I urge anyone interested to RSVP today to help them nut out the numbers.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030708

Time
08:25
Rejoice! The Guardian is to be published in the U.S. in a weekly magazine format. I’ll be plugging them every step of the way.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030708

Time
08:29
Transfer money, make friends and get a transcript of your entire online relationship as part of your monthly bank statement with the miracle of communication that is CashMail.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030708

Time
08:37
Bush administration claims that a return to nuclear testing may soon be necessary. A new generation of nuclear bunker-busters is in development, and the Nevada desert looks ready to rock again.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030708

Time
08:43
Cashing in on a celebrity death with Adwords? Now that’s class all over.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030708
Riding High on Blogdex
Time
08:46
The Open Government Information Awareness site (I blogged some news on this yesterday) looks rock solid in top position. If they need a revenue stream, they should sell GIA identification cards. I’d buy one.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030708
Only Interesting to Bloggers
Time
08:52
TypePad is in beta-testing and Dave Winer talks about the ‘Blog This’ feature on Google’s new toolbar and AOL’s entry into weblogs.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030708
Christianity Watch
Time
08:58
morons.org: “Yes, Virginia, there are fundamentalist religious extremists in Europe.”

Guardian: Evangelicals plan next anti-gay campaign.

Isn’t there already a puritanical church or two that these people can go to?

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030708

Time
09:03
The Internet Is Shit. But we don’t have the evangelists to thank for that – or even the chattering masses. The biggest problem is ignorance on the business front. This is where everything from pop-ups to banners to spam originates from. It’s also why 99% of corporate web presences are a complete waste of space.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030708

Time
09:10
Bargain shopper busted with fabricated barcode labels. The first of many such stories, I assure you.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030708

Time
09:13
This site for the Paranormal & Ghost Society is quite possibly the ugliest site I’ve ever seen, but it contains many joys even before you get to the core content. Have a read through disclaimers that are scattered throughout the site; the man is a legal genius.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030708
Hulk Smash!
Time
09:19
1. Keyboards for people with fat fingers.

2. Cheap Hulk knock-off toy found to have enormous penis: The Sun is there.

3. The Hollywood Sites, Hollywood URLs article is drawing quite a few visitors who are lost and cannot find the site for the new Hulk movie.

UPDATE – Check out this newly introduced alternative URL for the movie. Nice to see that someone’s paying attention. Now perhaps they can read the rest of the bloody article. They need categorised and indexable info like this on their own site, for a start.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030708
Flash Games
Time
09:30
Take pot-shots at Clippy.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030708
Tim Yeo: Campaign Hijacker
Time
10:52
Ongoing Tim Yeo activity is being shifted over to the Tim Yeo weblog. Because the man clearly has no plans to get back to me and the last thing I want is Tory porn on my front page every other day as a result.

The TY weblog will continue to stalk this little man, right up until the next election if needs be.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030708

Time
17:21
If you’re going to tattoo your child, ensure that it’s done by a company you can trust.

Heh. I can feel the heat of outrage from here.

Pure common sense tells me that it’s a hoax, but for those who need something concrete, Snopes already has a listing for this.

More? OK. The related Metafilter thread not only reveals who the culprits are (scroll about halfway down this page for details), it also rumbles them for stealing the design from this site.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030709

Time
07:35
Hey, how about that? I’m older than Jennifer Lopez. I wonder if she’ll go out with me?

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030709
It’s War! And Somebody’s Telling Porkies!
Time
07:36
Bush administration admits claim that Saddam tried to buy uranium was slightly misguided. The cat’s on the roof…

In other news, the dossier sideshow continues here in the UK.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030709
Anybody But George
Time
07:42
How To Rig An E-lection In The United States

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Date
20030709

Time
07:42
More on AOL belatedly jumping on the blogwagon:

Burning Bird has fond memories of what happened when AOL users were unleashed on Usenet.

How can I say this without offending AOL users?

Hmmm.

OK, so the ads may make an attractive case. The free CDs may have an attractive case, and after 12 of them arriving in your mailbox I suppose you can’t really be blamed for trying just one to check it out. And yes, AOL is almost impossible to remove from your systems once it’s installed.

However…

Staying with AOL after being online for more than 3 months is a lot like living with your parents beyond the age of 30.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030709

Time
07:48
Stephen Hawking visits strip club. The Sun is there.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030709
Stories That Mean Nothing
Time
07:50
Simon Cowell has said he could turn Prince William into a pop star. The new series of Pop Idol must be just around the corner. Here’s hoping it does as dismally as the latest version of Big Brother.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030709
Naughty Bits
Time
07:53
1. After 19 years of silence, paralyzed man speaks. He used his new-found ability to make a pass at the nurse.

2. Was the defendant’s mother scratching her scalp with her middle finger or making an obscene gesture at the judge?

3. Thinking of taking the kids to see Stonehenge this year?

4. Over 70 rude words downgraded from ‘taboo’ to ‘slang’ by Collins English Dictionary. There are still 16 very rude words left over. See if you can list them all.

(This is not a competition, I’m actually trying to trick you into writing a list of dirty words just as the boss is walking past…)

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030709

Time
08:03
Jason Alexander’s KFC contract terminated after his meeting with PETA. KFC claims there’s no connection.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030709

Time
08:05
8-year-old charged after torturing kitten.

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Date
20030709

Time
08:06
Check out the reversible matchbox gallery (link via Ultimate Insult).

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030709
Feedback
Time
08:09
Ed Neal took a precious minute from his busy schedule (which mostly involves wondering what the girl next door would look like with her head on a stick) to give the following advice:

“Don’t sweat the petty stuff.. and for god’s sake.. DON’T pet the sweaty stuff!!…”

Thanks, Ed.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030709
Photoshopping
Time
11:55
Go to Google and search for ‘photoshopping’ for mucho bigness.

UPDATE – And to celebrate, here’s a nice picture for you….

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030710
It’s War! And Somebody’s Telling Porkies!
Time
08:31
Tony Blair says:

“I should tell you I have absolutely no doubt at all that we will find evidence of weapons of mass destruction… programs, no doubt at all.”

Oh, OK. So long as there’s no doubt at all…

Donald Rumsfeld says:

“The coalition did not act in Iraq because we had discovered dramatic new evidence… we acted because we saw the evidence in a dramatic new light – through the prism of our experience on 9/11.”

The cat fell off the roof. Watch this space.

UPDATE – Please note that if Labour do lose the next election, it won’t be because of MP rebellion. It will be because of the lack of such rebellion when the chips were down.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030710

Time
08:38
I’m a creature of habit. I’ve bought (and subsequently worn to death) endless pairs of Converse All-Stars for well over a decade. But I won’t be buying them anymore.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030710

Time
08:41
Cover up your rude bits at the beach with wholesomewear.com

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Date
20030710
Riding High on Blogdex
Time
08:43
BBC: CIA warned Bush administration that claims about Iraq’s nuclear ambitions were not true months before they used them to make their case for war

More below under ‘Porkies’. Boy, I’m really starting to regret acting like a naive peacenik…

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030710

Time
08:47
Beer found in can of Diet Coke.

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Date
20030710

Time
08:50
Blog. From. Spaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaace!

Welcome… to the worrrrrrrrrrld of tomorrow!

etc…

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030710

Time
08:52
Store owner on assault charge after spanking a boy for teaching his parrot to swear.

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Date
20030710

Time
08:53
McDonald’s restaurant closed after routine inspection. The staff had been changing expiration dates on the milk.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030710
Video
Time
08:55
Watch Bugs Bunny and Donald Duck do their bit for the war effort.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030710

Time
09:02
Yay! Glamour pet photography rules!

(UK readers may be expecting something a little different. Prepare yourselves for disappointment… or considerable relief.)

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030710

Time
09:23
Tom’s Teens page: BBC gets joke, sees point. Oh, I do love starting the day with a big win.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030710

Time
10:43
Dissertation Could Be Security Threat.

“They’re worried about national security. I’m worried about getting my degree.”

Heh.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030710

Time
14:18
Someone else is out an about with the PayPal Email Scam. Two versions of this have arrived in my Inbox over the last hour.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030710
2003 Blogathon
Time
14:36
I’ve got my first sponsor for the 2003 Blogathon.

Raise a drink to Whitey, who’s kicked me off with a generous $50.

It starts at July 26, 06:00 Pacific Time. That means (I think) that I have to leap from the starting gate at July 26, 14:00 GMT.

24 hours of blogging. Just imagine it.

If you plan on watching, please do blow the dust off your wallet and sponsor Bloggerheads in the 2003 Blogathon.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030710
Photoshopping
Time
15:01
Dave Bowman Kenobi prepares to reboot.

There’s a big’un over at B3ta, plus two more 2001/SW crossovers from today and yesterday:

TIE-Pod

Mystery at Tycho

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030711

Time
08:33
File sharing bad. You bad. Summer come. Want share files? Share fun way with FunJunkie Summer Burn. Is good.

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Date
20030711
Oldies But Goodies
Time
08:34
Howard Stone found that he could make his van backfire at will. So he rigged a camera in the rear of the van to capture people’s reactions to the beastly explosions. A classic.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030711
Riding High on Blogdex
Time
08:39
Crouching Tiger, Raging Ping Pong (streaming Windows Media file).

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Date
20030711

Time
08:42
Someone should talk to this woman about eggs and baskets.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030711

Time
08:43
Visit Yesterland.com, a form of digital afterlife for discontinued Disneyland attractions.

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Date
20030711

Time
08:45
The Astor (Rubiks) Cube. This is just great. People pulling together to create something amazing and subversive, yet ultimately harmless. I must remember to send a copy of this to the Space Hijackers.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030711
Follow Up
Time
08:50
The Guardian interviews Terry Wallis. Who? He’s the chap who woke up from a 19-year coma the other day and almost immediately made a pass at the nurse.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030711

Time
08:52
Criminals and geniuses do their best work in their 30s. Mainly to impress chicks. Criminal geniuses, on the other hand, are above such petty concerns.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030711

Time
08:59
Watch George Bush watching elephants doing what elephants do to make little elephants.

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Date
20030711

Time
09:04
New Battlestar Galactica series set to suck.

Richard Hatch (Apollo) has been fighting for a new series of Battlestar Galactica for years via battlestargalactica.com, but it looks like he and the fans have been screaming into a vacuum. A ‘re-imagining’ (read: ‘misguided rip-off’) is on the cards and Hatch & the boys are less than happy about it.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030711
Steady On…
Time
09:12
Saddam Hussein arrested in Israeli-occupied Golan Heights.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030711

Time
09:14
Marvel Scraps Plan for Comic Book Princess Di. No mutant Lady Di in spandex? Awwwwwww….

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030711

Time
09:15
The Pentagon’s plan for tracking everything that moves.

Last night, it struck me that a jolly good choice for the fourth plinth in Trafalgar Square would be a statue of George Orwell.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030711

Time
09:19
Political science instructor investigated by the Secret Service for telling his students to email elected officials with the words “kill the president, kill the president.”

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030711

Time
09:22
A fabulous reaction To Tom’s Teens! page. Nice to see so many people having fun with it. Smiles are hard to come by these days.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030711
Search Engine Optimisation
Time
10:31
Google is definitely making some major changes to its back-end and ranking algorithm. I’ve noticed a lot of stuff going on right now that hints at big changes in the wind – as I did just before the Google/Yahoo! deal went through.

And, as with the back-end cleanup that preceded this landmark deal, Bloggerheads’ results have subsequently gone up, not down.

‘Photoshopping’ shot up the other day. I just noticed a big improvement to ‘out of order’ searches, too (up from #10 to #2).

The holy grail of generic search results, ‘religion’, now places the Universal Church of the Interactive Network at an all-time high of #128 in Yahoo!

It’s going to be an interesting summer.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030711
Photoshopping
Time
12:56
Behold the Dawn of Wookies!

Part One is kind of average.

You want to check out Part Two, you do…

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030711
2003 Blogathon
Time
13:00
Rich from FunJUnkie has chipped in with an added $24 of sponsorship. You can throw more money my way by clicking here.

All proceeds from my little corner of the Blogathon will go to Amnesty International. I’ve got a kind of plan for the full day of bloggage, too:

24 Hours, 48 Questions

You ask, I answer. I’d like to be able to bring a form of FAQ to life from the activity, but don’t feel you have to stick to the boring stuff. Instead of ‘Frequently Asked Questions,’ think ‘Seldom Answered Questions.’

Priority will be given to sponsors (so be sure to include your sponsor name when you submit a question). To ask a question, just send an email via this link. (This will send emails into a special folder that I promise not to look into until 2:00pm GMT on July 26th.)

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030711

Time
16:20
Yay! A site dedicated entirely to all the hands that get chopped off in the Star Wars saga. There are a lot of them. Except in Episode I, which has none. No wonder it sucked.

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Date
20030711

Time
16:53
In case you were wondering, the Star Wars Photoshopping Project started 227 days, 6 hours and 10 minutes ago with this seemingly harmless post at B3ta. Just in case you were wondering.

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Date
20030711

Time
17:06
Finally, a candidate America can believe in:

Tony Blair for President! You know it makes sense.

UPDATE – Big version oif this image is being shown over at B3ta.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030714
It’s War! And Somebody’s Telling Porkies!
Time
08:33
20 Lies About the War. One of the cheekiest, used primarily to counter growing protest: ‘Iraq’s oil money would go to Iraqis’

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030714
Riding High on Blogdex
Time
08:36
‘AOL Journals’ To Bring Blogs To Millions. There goes the neighbourhood.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030714
Too Much Time On Their Hands
Time
08:38
A semi-comprehensive list of goofs from Gilligan’s Island.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030714

Time
08:41
Albuquerque man faces trial for hitting wife with pillow.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030714

Time
08:43
Man who wins $73.6 million says he want to “finally get me a tractor with brakes.”

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030714
Follow Up
Time
08:48
Family feud swirls around coma man. Welcome back, son. By the way, your daughter is now a stripper, but your wife has been busy having other children to replace her.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030714

Time
08:53
PCs hijacked by Trojan programs to deliver porn ads. The same Trojan may also be contributing to the delivery of those recent Paypal email scams.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030714

Time
09:00
Holidaymaker takes down killer roo with an axe. Now there’s an adventure holiday concept for you. Load the ute up with axes, chainsaws and harpoons and hit the outback for a genuine ‘kill or be killed’ scenario. With roo-burgers for afters, of course. Killer Cockatoos will be next, you just wait and see.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030714

Time
09:05
Police inform mother of son’s death via voice mail.

“You. Have. Three. Messages. And. No. Son.”

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030714
Does What It Says On The Tin
Time
09:08
Strike up a pen-pal relationship with an inmate via writeaprisoner.com

A genuinely hot prospect was dug out of the files by Roddy (who emailed today to ask very nicely if he could link to The Star Wars Photoshopping Project).

Inmate Susan Smith is a god-fearing soul who likes rainbows. She considers herself to be ‘sensitive, caring & kind-hearted’… and is currently serving a life sentence on the charge of murder.

UPDATE – It seems that Susan is getting so much attention that a press release is called for. Turn out she’s famous.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030714

Time
09:16
Recall Notice: Beware of exploding toads.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030714
The Political Weblog Movement
Time
09:17
Please note the new time for the Can Weblogs Change Politics? seminar at Westminster tonight:

14th July, 7:00 – 9:00pm

Grant Committee Room, House of Commons

Get there early if you want a seat folks. It’s going to be crowded.

UPDATE – ZDnet: Weblogs help create a political hot spot

UPDATE 2 – The weblog seminar is currently the top news item in the BBC Technology category. (Thanks, Martyn…)

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030714
2003 Blogathon
Time
09:22
Tom is thinking of signing up for the 2003 Blogathon. It won’t be the first time an MP has worked around the clock (no, really) but the idea of taking policy suggestions and debating one each hour certainly sounds new to me. He wants your suggestions. Go and chip in.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030714
Tony Blair’s Email
Time
10:37
A further baby-step. The following announcement has been added to the Downing St site:

“A facility to allow you to email the Prime Minister will be made available during August.”

Interesting that they’re also starting to refer to it as a ‘facility’ instead of an ‘address.’

1. Do you think they actually read my specifications?

2. If the new service follows these specs to the letter, should I send them an invoice?

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030714

Time
10:57
Man Gets Life Sentence For Sucking Boys’ Toes. 15 years without parole. Martin points out that this amounts to 1.5 years per toe. However, there are 20 sets of toes to take into account. On the other hand, the sentences are being served concurrently rather than consecutively, so that means…

Oh, I don’t know. Can we drop the maths and instead spiral into a Pulp-Fictionesque debate about foot massages?

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030714

Time
12:03
See William Katt and Kurth Russel read for the parts of Luke and Han at Star Wars: The Screen Tests.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030715
Does What It Says On The Tin
Time
08:55
www.boredofthebeckhams.com

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030715
Riding High on Blogdex
Time
08:55
PDF: Unfit for Human Consumption. Agreed. It’s probably the most useless format available for publishing online documents – but it makes them look ever so pretty.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030715

Time
08:57
Vicar headbutts photographer at wedding. The Sun is there.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030715

Time
08:58
Lightning strikes woman’s tongue stud. She can count herself very lucky that she didn’t have piercings in more (ahem) exotic places.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030715
Christianity Watch
Time
09:00
The Evolution Irritation Site is has ‘facts,’ ‘truths’ and Jackpots galore. Jackpots? Don’t worry, you’ll see. Enjoy.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030715

Time
09:02
Announcing the winner of the FunJunkie Digital Camcorder competition (insert drum roll here).

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030715
Flash Games
Time
09:06
Yes, we have no weapons of mass destruction!

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030715

Time
09:08
Chewbacca delivers Episode III spoilers. Damn, that reminds me… I meant weeks ago to start a petition to get Star Wars Kid a cameo in the movie. Oh well.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030715
The Political Weblog Movement
Time
09:25
The Can Weblogs Change Politics? Seminar headed up by VoxPolitics went very well indeed. Andrew Orlowski still managed to bitch about it even though he was over 5,000 miles away at the time and remains completely without a clue. Tom from Plastic Bag was there, though – and he’s got a few words to say about Andrew this morning (plus a photo of Tom Watson in the pub).

Tom, Dan and I were a little late getting to the Westminster Arms. We had a little drinkies on the terrace first to celebrate Dan’s victory in the 404 competition (I should be able to get the new 404 page live sometime soon).

Interesting times on the terrace…

You may remember a few weeks back that I got in touch with Lembit Öpik’s office about the weblog format. They said ‘no,’ which surprised me. However, after cornering the man himself on the terrace (it was either talk to me or jump in the Thames) I can tell you that he personally find the idea quite interesting.

Watch this space.

UPDATE – Richard Allan has a short report on this, and quite an interesting idea. Adopt an MP. Get in touch. Help them understand it. Those that end up wanting it as a result are prime weblog material. Those that don’t we can do without anyway.

Oh, and here’s a selective blow-by-blow by Nick Barlow. Heh. The use of the word ‘disintermediation’ actually drove me from the room. I took a full 5 minutes to recover.

Finally, for your reference, here’s a comprehensive rundown of what was said by the main speakers and a few pictures from the event.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030715

Time
13:34
BBC reports on last night’s political weblog thingie.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030716

Time
12:24
Meet Mark Andrews, aka Chicken Man. Chickens changed his life, a life that is now doubly rich in that he has married Chicken Woman.

Chicken Man’s hobbies include:

1) Riding the Big Red Truck

2) Sitting in the truck window

3) Steering the truck

4) Scratching for bugs and worms

5) Taking a nap in front of a fan

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Date
20030716

Time
12:27
Cook County sheriff’s officer Ronnie Baffield caught two men engaged in a rather personal fashion in some shrubbery. Did he arrest them? No. He offered to let them go if they painted his house and got him a good deal on a computer. The officer has since been charged with bribery and official misconduct, and a good thing it is, too. The whole deal of goods/service exchange lingers dangerously close to socialism.

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Date
20030716

Time
12:31
Cafepress offers print-on-demand books.

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Date
20030716

Time
12:33
Work for eBay. It’s fun.

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Date
20030716

Time
12:34
Two men charged with manslaughter following the death of an Oxford University student. He was flung from a giant replica medieval catapult ‘in a 30 metre arc’ – but, sadly, this was a good few metres short of the distance required for him to reach the safety net.

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Date
20030716
It’s War! And Somebody’s Telling Porkies!
Time
12:39
Bush shifts blames for Iraq lies. And so ends the promised era of responsibility. They’re busy trying to line up scapegoats over here, too.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030716
Follow Up
Time
12:44
Web Site Asks Susan Smith To Drop Ad. I grabbed a print-out of the personals page in question yesterday, for my own personal reference. I didn’t know she was famous when I first blogged it, I was simply charmed by her love for rainbows.

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Date
20030716
Yet Another Lame Quiz
Time
12:47
What threat to the Bush administration are you?

I’m morally deficient. And dangerous.

BTW, I just got an email from Rainbow Heron, who writes:

“I was just listening to NPR and all of a sudden they started talking about weblogs and MPs. They were talking about Tom Watson’s decision to blog and then mentioned you by name (Tim Ireland) as being a help to him in setting it up. They also briefly mentioned Richard Allan and the Adopt a British MP campaign.

“Just wanted to say, congratulations, you’re on the radio in America.

“Also, the first time I ever heard (or rather saw) of you was on NBC Nightly News way back during the war. They briefly showed that soft pron pic of Bush & Blair in the flag together. Thought it was interesting but they didn’t give you credit for it. In fact, there was no mention of where it came from.”

Tch! Typical. Still, it was out there doing its job, and that’s what counts I suppose.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030716
Flash Thingies
Time
12:54
The difference between Italians and Europeans.

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Date
20030716
Search Engine Optimisation
Time
12:58
The Yahoo/Overture deal has a lot of folks expecting Yahoo to drop Google. I don’t see this as a bad prediction, but I do think it would be a bad decision. Yahoo was losing users by the truckload when Google was an alternative (rather than being fully integrated). I think they’re going to return to equal or greater losses with a central database driven primarily by paid listings.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030716
SEO: The Holy Grail
Time
13:19
Today, The Universal Church of the Interactive Network is 127th in Yahoo for the generic search term ‘religion’. That’s an all-time high, folks. Convert today and bring us one step closer to the top.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030716
The Political Weblog Movement
Time
14:06
Hmm, here’s an interesting notion. Marc’s local MP is Phil Willis (who has committed the cardinal sin of using frames and therefore hiding most of his content from people who may care about it). Phil is the father of Rachel Willis.

Who she? She girl who, until recently, was face of AOL.

AOL has just announced the inclusion of weblog technology in the next version of its service.

I’m sure that, given time, even the most clueless PR hack will be able to put the pieces together.

On a lighter and brighter note, I met Carolyn Bennett on Monday night and she has very kindly furnished me with linkage.

Carol’s quite excited by the concept of blogging (her site already includes rolling updates, so she’s pretty much halfway there). If you live in Canada and ‘have the technology’ as they say, then perhaps you should get in touch and make an offer of help. Armed with Movable Type, there’d be no stopping her.

UPDATE – Oh, and there’s this from yesterday’s Guardian… Political blogs: a brief guide

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Date
20030716

Time
14:59
Interns, office relationships and email:

what could possibligh go wrong?

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Date
20030716
Photoshopping
Time
16:53

“I find your lack of faith disturbing…”

Big one’s over at B3ta.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030717
The Political Weblog Movement
Time
07:55
Here’s a list of every blogger who attended the recent seminar at Westminster.

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Date
20030717

Time
07:57
Some 19th century textbooks for you to enjoy (link via Ultimate Insult).

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030717
It’s War! And Somebody’s Telling Porkies!
Time
07:59
Why This Bush Lie? Part 1 (Hint: It wasn’t his first.)

Salon.com also nails down a whopper (registration required).

UPDATE – Sky suspends journalists over bogus story. The ‘launch’ of a cruise missile was staged from a docked vessel. Presumably, a wobbly cardboard set was not available at the time.

BTW, keeping troops in Iraq is costing us £150m a month.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030717
Follow Up
Time
08:02
Snopes.com really is on the ball lately. That intern breakup email blogged yesterday has not only been confirmed, it is quoted in full here. Have fun.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030717
Christianity Watch
Time
08:04
Bishop charged over fondling woman in casino. Being highly intoxicated in a gambling den wasn’t quite enough of an expression of freedom, it seems. You can also add profanity to the charge-sheet, apparently he used ‘some nonbishop type language.’

Also, a New Mexico family is suing the local church over a funeral which did not go as expected. The priest allegedly said the deceased was ‘only a middling Catholic who was going straight to hell.’

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030717
Photoshopping
Time
08:08
London Mayor Mayor Ken Livingstone has offered a £100,000 reward to anyone who can invent a solution for keeping the underground cool. There are some outstanding ideas being aired over at the BBC, and the influence of the photoshopping community is clear. (Here’s one I made earlier.) Kids will be learning about us in art classes within the next decade, you just watch.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030717

Time
08:16
How to handle a call from a suicidal person.

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Date
20030717

Time
08:16
Yay! It’s a genuine four-legged chicken.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030717
Blogathon 2003
Time
08:21
A mystery donor has so far made two very generous pledges of $25, but I must admit to not recognising the nickname used. You know who you are, so please send me an email so I can let everyone else know.

If you haven’t sponsored yet, get the crowbar out and open your damn wallet.

Also, if you haven’t submitted a question for the day (anything you’ve ever wondered about me or Bloggerheads), then feel free to submit a question now.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030717
Universal Church of the Interactive Network
Time
08:25
The call-to-arms yesterday resulted in at least one convert. Welcome to the fold, Rich.

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Date
20030717
Back to Business
Time
08:28
I really think I’ve made the right decision – and at the right time. The whole Political Weblog thing looks set to tick along happily without me. And in the right direction. Job done; time to move on.

Added, on the e-commerce side of things, there is lots and lots and lots of good to be done. My main competitor seems to have a few funny ideas about ethics. I’m looking forward to blowing him out of the water with an honest and sustainable approach to search engine optimisation and online marketing in general.

The main benefit for you guys will be new and valuable content produced by people who can afford it (because they need your attention and genuinely wish to earn your respect).

Hell, I may even (finally) be able to convince one or two of them to open up and talk to us like human beings. Weblogs for MPs set an excellent precedent for this, but to sell the idea I do have to use wanky boardroom-speak like ‘in this case, the person is the brand.’

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Date
20030717

Time
10:37
OK, so this chap goes to test drive a Porsche a couple of weeks ago, at Chilham Sports Cars in Kent.

The car was advertised as having a full service history etc. but when he turned up, the car was a load of crap and they didn’t really give him the time of day.

Before this, CSC had a wonderfully comprehesive site at chilhamsportscars.co.uk – now there’s a new one with some important information for consumers at chilhamsportscars.com

The latter is well worth some Google-juice, IMO:

Chilham Sports Cars

Beware the voice of the publishing consumer.

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Date
20030717
It’s War! And… ahhh, you know the rest by now.
Time
13:12
Bush’s Cover-Up Precedes the Scandal. Again, the path seems to lead back to ‘old-faithful,’ the so-called dodgy dossier. Convenient, and typical of our so-called special friendship.

Now, while we’re on the subject, let’s have a little fun:

Pop along to Downing Street’s website and type ‘dodgy dossier’ into the search engine there. Top result is… yep, you guessed it. Type in ‘fabrications’ and you get the same result.

Entertaining enough in itself, but let us explore further…

Type in ‘Iraq lies’ and the top result is this document claiming that the ‘Oil for food’ program is improving life in Iraq.

Type in ‘warmonger’ and the top result is Tony Blair’s statement opening the Iraqi debate back in March.

I’m sure there’s more. Go and play.

17-30 June, 2003

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Date
20030617

Time
08:30
My Domokun Kettle arrived this morning. I plan on using it at the office. When I get one.

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Date
20030617

Time
08:31
Man stabbed to death during chess game. Police say men ‘may have been drinking.’

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Date
20030617

Time
08:33
OK, so only 33 items were really stolen from the Iraqi National Museum (not counting the loot already in place at the British Museum) but I’m pretty sure that the 350 animals missing from Baghdad zoo weren’t spirited away into a cellar for safekeeping.

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Date
20030617
Riding High on Blogdex
Time
08:39
Hatfields and McCoys sign truce.

Is my memory playing tricks on me, or had a truce already been signed decades ago?

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Date
20030617

Time
08:41
Homeless serving as billboards. They’re paid in pizza, soda and ‘a few dollars.’ I’ll bet you more than a few dollars that they’re paid significantly less than your average human billboard.

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Date
20030617

Time
08:44
18th century emoticon found.

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Date
20030617
Delays, Delays, Delays
Time
08:45
Man stalks woman 30 years after taking her to the prom. He told police he had been trying to get the ‘nerve up’ to ask her out.

Man spends 5 years awaiting trial for murder. He was aquitted in 15 minutes.

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Date
20030617

Time
08:49
What is it with drive-throughs and crime? This undercover officer spent close to a month dressed as a McDonald’s employee. Keeping a sharp eye out for naughty behaviour in customers’ cars, he made six arrests and issued 29 citations. The (law-abiding) owner of the restaurant didn’t know anything about it, and now he’s as mad as hell.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030617

Time
08:55
Interaction with people from different walks of live and access to multiple channels of communication is widening our personal political spectrum. For me, the main effect of the Interwebnet is an overwhelming disappointment that none of the related graphs are shaped like a willy.

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Date
20030617
Christianity Watch
Time
08:59
Cherbear’s Den is absolutely the final word in Christian children’s literature and fine illustration. The Kids Cave and Teen Caverns warrant special attention.

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Date
20030617
The Political Weblog Movement
Time
09:05
The Times reports on Tom Watson’s weblog. This link requires paid registration from dirty foreigners, so here’s the guts of it:

“With perhaps half a million people in the UK sharing their thoughts via personal weblogs, it is remarkable that elected politicians are failing to use the medium to communicate more vital matters with their constituents. They could publish when and what they wanted, offer instant comment on the day’s news, and push the issues that concern them. Yet only Tom Watson, MP for West Bromwich East, is currently doing so.”

I’m hoping to change this situation very, very soon.

UPDATE – Take time out of your day to welcome Richard Allan MP to the wonderful world of weblogs. I was very impressed by the very early post about Blog Aims.

BTW, I found this via my now-daily use of Technorati, which brought up this post by Simon Willison. Simon notes with a knowing smile that Richard is a Liberal Democrat spokesman on information technology. Perhaps he can have a word with his colleague Lembit Öpik, who is aware of the technology but has yet to bite the bullet.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030617

Time
12:25
Like me, you’ve probably received a few variations of this email from the ‘invincible spammer,’ with wonderfully endearing passages such as:

”Why are we so successful?? 1. Because, simply put, NO ONE can bring us down! And 2. Because we and because when you get right down to it, PEOPLE ARE LIKE SHEEP, and if the “sheep” get enough e-mail shoved at them, the sheep WILL become customers!”

On closer inspection, these repeat emails seem to be part of what is known as a ‘Joe Job’ (where someone sends spam while posing as another web user in order to get that user into trouble). Folks in news.admin.net-abuse.email seem to think so, too.

In fact, given that it taunts the user so blatantly and follows this with a comprehensive list of contact addresses and personal phone numbers – and targets one of the few spammers to actually make the news (Richard Schueler: 1, 2) – I’d say this is a pretty fair bet.

Then again, it could very well be the world’s cheekiest double-bluff.

The ‘victims’ (myrxbiz.com) are, after all, able to proudly claim that they run the ‘#1 online pharmacy affiliate program’ and still keep a straight face.

Sure, I could follow the money by doing a WHOIS of all the URLs linked in the mail or maybe chase up who runs the 1-800 numbers you have to call to ‘unsubcribe from this genuine opt-in list,’ but life is too short.

If anyone comes across a site obsessive enough to nail this one down, do please drop me a line. I’d love to see how the whole thing turns out.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030617
Flash Music Video
Time
14:09
OK… Spain. Have we done Spain yet?

Viva el pop geek!

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030617
The Political Weblog Movement
Time
15:48
Technorati tells me that Richard Allan is already enjoying fresh linkage from Al and Lance. Richard has also been kind enough to blogroll me. Can you feel the love, brethren?

I’d also like to introduce you all to the freshly formed weblog of James Mills, Conservative Councillor for Standlake, Aston & Stanton Harcourt.

Both Richard and James have been added to the Why Politicians Need Weblogs page.

While we’re on the subject, do check out the eye-straining but thought-provoking ‘e-Democracy exchange’ over at Big Blogger. The recent Cluetrain-inspired post is dead-on.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030617

Time
16:15
Ahahahahaha! A great find by Tom: The Italian arm of Powergen is available at the following wonderful, wonderful URL. Amazingly, no-one thought to add a dash where it would do the most good:

www.powergenitalia.com

This is not only highly embarrassing for Powergen; it has also robbed a potential penis-enlarging spammer of a valuable and downright catchy domain name.

(And before you threadwaste… it’s already been posted to B3ta 1,263 times. Don’t bother. Bloody hell – and now I see that it was in Friday’s NTK. How the hell did I miss that?)

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030618

Time
08:41
Earn yourself 10 grand by pimping your girl friends.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030618
Does What It Says On The Tin
Time
08:42
www.bootlegactionfigures.com

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030618
Riding High on Blogdex
Time
08:45
We’re all a bunch of lying sickos. We all steal, too. Best quote from the former article?

“So which is the bigger threat to America? The big companies or the criminals at the computer?”

I think the biggest threat is, and always has been, people with their head so far up their arse that they can see what’s for breakfast tomorrow. I found it quite interesting that, after this regular ‘Memo’ piece, he didn’t have time for ‘The Most Ridiculous Item of the Day.’

UPDATE – Here’s another blogger’s thoughts on Mr O’Reilly’s rant, which links to an even better point-by-point post by yet another blogger. Follow your nose.

UPDATE 2 – This MSNBC article is even better. It intertwines with blogger’s comments, and even uses Technorati to guide you to more recent information. I’d like to see more of this – and not just in articles about the Interwebnet.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030618

Time
08:52
“I’m gonna get Truckasaurus on yo ass, boy!”

Business owner chases and runs over robbery suspects in his Humvee. (Includes wonderful picture and even better reader survey: ‘Should a business owner who ran over a group of robbery suspects in his Hummer face charges?’)

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030618

Time
09:02
Shit! Look at the time!

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030618
Frequently Arsed Questions
Time
09:03
“Why can’t I make comments on your weblog?”

Because I want you to make comments on yours. Oh, you don’t have a weblog? Well, now we’re getting closer to the point…

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030618

Time
09:09
The great Blogspot Exodus. Dean’s pushing the hard stuff. Well worth the move, IMO. I’m thinking of doing the same (but I’ll still be hiding my archives from Google). Only problem is, I blog like a bloody madman. There’s months and months of material to shift over to any new format, and even with a clever macro device of some sort, it would still take about 6 weeks to modify and transfer all of the old data. For now, I think I’ll stick to being somewhat of an anachronism. Unless, of course, anyone wants to pay me to take 6 weeks off work…

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030618

Time
09:16
From a journalist who was at last week’s blog conference

Companies get into weblog act:

“The best blogs don’t just deliver authoritative information; they resonate with the personalities of their creators.”

Well said.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030618

Time
09:26
‘Virgin Mary in hospital window’ claim poo-pooed by the Vatican.

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Date
20030618

Time
09:29
Man keeps wife captive for two years in impenetrable fortress fashioned from boards, nails, combination padlocks, and quite a few sheets of aluminium foil. What, no duct tape?

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030618

Time
09:32
George Bush looks to be gearing up for the next election: a new program is set to expand the internet-voting capability of military and overseas voters. If you’ve read Stupid White Men, you’ll know why this is so significant.

Incidentally, just before the war, Michael Moore’s forums were down ‘temporarily’ for ‘technical reasons.’ Now the forums have been completely removed from the navigation bar like they never existed at all. This, we can assume, has also been done purely for ‘technical reasons.’

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030618
Tony Blair’s Email
Time
09:49
Still no word from Tim Yeo. Tomorrow, it will be a full week since I emailed him. Don’t make me get angry, Tim.

BTW, some good did come of the lame stunt. A statement came from No.10 that went beyond the ‘in the new year’ promise that we’re all so familiar with. Someone, somewhere, let slip with the promise of delivery ‘in the coming weeks.’

I plan on holding them to that.

So, do you think that I should give them 2, 4 or 6 weeks before cutting loose again with a fresh clue-by-four? Emails to the usual address.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030618
The Political Weblog Movement
Time
11:23
Here’s someone who just started a blog and three or four posts in he asks his MP to do the same:

“These are people that represent us. We voted for them. I think this is a fantastic way for people to have access to them and get to know them a bit better. I have no idea how my MP usually votes, or where he stands on most issues. If I read his/her weblog frequently, I think I’d be in a better position to judge whether I wanted that person to represent me.”

This certainly is turning out to be a jolly week.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030618
Telemarketers
Time
11:26
“Hello, is Mr Bacon there?”

This cute article includes a link for people who want to go on a no-call list in North Dakota. There are links to a bunch of other state-by-state services here. Why no national service like we have here in the UK? What am I missing?

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030618

Time
12:25
Yet another new blog tool. Like Blogdex, only faster. Thanks, Rich.

Pretty snappy stuff, but it lacks one important feature that makes Blogdex the Daddy – the ability to roll over a charted link to see a range of comments from different linkers and also click through to a page that lets me see a more comprehensive breakdown of who said what as they linked.

Did you get all that?

Sorry, someone’s using a weed-whacker outside my window, and it’s very hard to think straight WITH ALL THIS BLOODY NOISE!

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030618

Time
14:40
Taliban staging a wilful comeback. I saw a bit of news on this last night. The U.S. still has troops in the region, but I’m not sure if they’re the best and brightest. One marine who was interviewed by the BBC said:

“The locals like to come out and take pop-shots at us.”

The filthy beasts!

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030618
The Political Weblog Movement
Time
14:47
Plenty of link love is rolling in for Richard Allan. Ernie the Attorney enhanced his link with some excellent comments:

“This blogging thing isn’t for every politician. Some politicians have specialised handlers that control the press, or at least control it sufficiently to ‘get their message out.’ They don’t worry if the press doesn’t get into detail because there is no detail being given out. If you have a simplistic message, then you sure as hell don’t want to post it on the web where people can see it for what it is. Blogs are as interesting to those types of politicians as sunshine is to cockroaches.”

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Date
20030618
Spamwatch
Time
16:14
CP Direct managed to shift $74 million in penis/breast/ego/etc. enlarging pills, and would be operating still had they not decided to also illegally charge consumers’ credit cards.

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Date
20030618
Tony Blair’s Email
Time
16:39
I’ve just checked my ‘Sent Items’ folder and it looks like Tim Yeo has until about midday tomorrow to get back to me by email before a full week has passed. Right now I’m standing by and ready to start ‘shopping.

You don’t necessarily have to apologise, Tim – just practice what you preach and answer my bloody email!

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Date
20030619
The Political Weblog Movement
Time
00:07
The following is a reply to an email questioning a number of matters relating to political weblogs. The person I’m replying to is quite right to play devil’s advocate, but to prove my point I pretty much had to go public with the reply.

The original email (that I’m not at liberty to blog) questioned the motives of politicians who might in future set out to abuse this channel in the same way that those loveable rascals from Richards Interactive did with the Raging Cow fiasco. It also questioned the true effectiveness of ‘mere’ online support, citing the recent failure of Gary Hart to secure that all-important nomination. Howard Dean may have garnered some beefy support of ye olde-fashioned new-meedja nature, but Gary Hart is currently the only U.S. politician with a genuine weblog. You want proof that it’s genuine? Try the tone of this:

” In the coming days I will be returning the many contributions that were made to this website and to our effort. I know that many of you have many charities you are supporting. If you choose to do so, you might consider sending all or part of your original contribution to me to one of the several very worthy efforts I support…”

If I’m wrong or even just kind of weak on any front, please feel free to comment. On your own damn weblog.

Sorry there’s no permalink. If enough people ask nicely, I’ll draw up a static page.

Cheers all.

Note – This entry will be forward-dated to midnight (once it passes) to simplify my archives. I have some rather dull and quite demanding work to do tomorrow, so this could well be the only post for the 19th. Sorry about that.

Hey (insert name here),

As it happens, I’ve been thinking about quite a few of the points you’ve raised (just in the last 24 hours) because the recent appearance of another MP’s weblog just raised the bar.

I’m not sure if I blogged this point or sent it off to a marketing mailing list, but I have acknowledged that there is a honeymoon period that will not last. The only other MP to get that ‘hey, look!’ effect automatically will be a Conservative MP.

After this, it will be a race to engage. A good thing, then, that engagement is the key.

Distancing myself from the creation of Tom’s blog, then, I can honestly tell you that I have become more interested in him as a person. Granted, I’ve had the rare privilege of facetime with the man, but a good blog can have this same effect.

Because I have established a relationship with Tom, I’m prepared to lend him my ear from time to time about matters that may or may not interest me. (If you’re married, I’m sure you can relate.)

As a result, I’ve read quite a few documents and pretty much ‘sat in’ on a few debates that I otherwise wouldn’t have given a damn about. A simple morphing of the ‘press release’ section into a faux-blog does not achieve this. Who’d visit? Who’d care?

The same goes for my blog – and you’ll have to trust me when I tell you that I have experienced the flipside. When I went into a recent spiral of political turmoil and introspection, I noticed my regular readership dropping considerably. There was far too much of ‘I think this!’ and not enough ‘Hey, isn’t this interesting?’

Talk of kittens has its place, and plays an important role.

We as readers have to be given a sense of person as well as purpose. Radio and television have allowed past politicians to express aspects of this in the past and – granted – many may have succeeded purely because of their ability to ‘play’ on their chosen communication channel.

Churchill understood the value of radio and played it well. It has been alleged that he actually had a voiceover stand-in for many broadcasts – but no-one was free to talk back to their radio.

Kennedy made great TV. This kept that supreme arsehole Nixon at bay for a time, but those small voices who would perhaps mention that they worked as an intern but were mostly paid to give the JFK blowjobs had no way to speak out (if, indeed, there were a time when their mouths weren’t full).

The closest precedent I can cite is the advent of moveable type leading to the publication of Bibles for everyone. Not just media owners (sorry, better make that ‘religious leaders’).

Suddenly everyone was free to read and interpret this all-powerful book. And publish their own thoughts on its true meaning.

Some of the biggest opinion formers of this time where known as ‘pamphleteers.’

We, as bloggers, are the pamphleteers of the 21st century.

Added, the blog system is self-correcting. Even if Google discounts them (a paranoid claim by a complete arsehole that has recently been refuted) people have had a taste of what they can offer. They will seek out an aggregator of a similar nature if they are robbed of it via their usual channel.

Blogs give everyone a voice. And a willingness to listen. When it counts.

A politician is not a god. Or even a demi-god. They need help to make things happen. I’ve seen this happen in some small way on Tom’s blog when he took on the local store with a litter problem and in many other ways on my own site.

It can also happen in a larger sense, as when folks search for info on air gun laws and are drawn via Google to Tom’s posts on the matter.

But if we don’t give a damn about Tom as a person, then we’re not going to get off our arse for him, now are we?

It also has to be added here that nothing really happens as a result of a mere link or search result.

But…

People exposed to ‘exclusive’ information in any shape or form often feel empowered enough to tell others about it. Not just by email, not just via their blog; but in real life as well.

If the information proves to be valuable, then these people draw an audience. A real-life audience. An audience that listens.

They knew first about this. They warned you about that. They’re worth listening to. This is how one small spark can spread to people actually willing to do something beyond committing to the Jedi religion for a laugh.

Another ‘but’…

I’ve tried to drive a few things forward on Bloggerheads, and it’s only the core audience that actually does anything. If what I try to do is too damn commercial or somewhat misguided, then I’m usually questioned or corrected (gently) on these matters.

If I try to do something Right, suddenly I find myself with new core members. Funny, that.

I’ve got to tell you, this is the best moral compass I have ever come across.

Being in the marketing game (maybe one evolutionary step up or down from the political game) I’m often prone to corruption.

Now I simply can’t afford to take that risk – but I’m enjoying greater benefits than I ever have before. And. I. Fucking. Love it!

Now I can simply float an idea to see who wants to make it a reality.

Now I can engage people all over the globe and actually make things happen.

But only if I strike the right chord.

There’s this feeling you get when you first encounter the Interwebnet. That ‘wow, millions of users at my fingertips’ feeling that leads to so many misguided missives about politics, religion, or the latest way to enlarge your penis.

Most of these are drowned in everyday noise and die a deserving death, but those that matter do rise to the top.

A human voice cannot be faked (and even if it can at a level enough to fool some, this deception is sure to be mentioned by those who are a little smarter about such things).

The result?

This is honest, unedited information, but open to comment that can lead to the growth, or destruction, of any given idea.

The more reasonable and/or altruistic the idea, the more likely it is to succeed.

The catch?

The idea – and the person delivering it – have to be pretty damn engaging and worthy of our trust.

If they aren’t, well, we’re sure to hear about that instead.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030619
The Political Weblog Movement
Time
00:10
Al has, as suggested, blogged his letter to his local representative asking them to get blogging.

Sorry, I forgot to use the word ‘blog’ there.

BLOG!

Happy now?

I’ve yet to do the same, but as I’ve already emailed, called and hounded Sue Doughty’s office for months on this matter, I fear any new messages may be taken out of context. They’d probably start with ‘Oi!’ and go downhill fast from there.

(For pity’s sake! Her office is 10 minutes away from my webshed, and I can pretty much turn up there at a moment’s notice. Can she not find the time to at least talk to me about this?)

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030619

Time
00:21
It’s not often that El Reg will place a plug so blatantly, but here, it’s well-deserved. As Scott notes, £171 ain’t much – but it’s a start.

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Date
20030619

Time
08:38
Wow. Now every day can be May Day. I’m just about to post this to the Urban75 forums.

“Hey where did all these people come from? Wait a minute – where did everybody go?”

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Date
20030619
It’s War! And We’re Ready To Believe Anything!
Time
08:43
Place not your trust in common sense:

A third of the American public believes U.S. forces have found weapons of mass destruction in Iraq.

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Date
20030619
Voice Of Experience
Time
08:49
You may wish to keep the following in mind:

It is not a good idea to teach your spell checker dirty words.

I got into the habit a long time ago of clicking the ‘Add’ button instead of ‘Ignore’ if a non-dictionary word cropped up here or there (this saves me time if I wish to use non-dictionary words like, say, ‘blog’).

However… because I have been known to use filthy language in the past and have out of sheer habit added an unsavoury word or two to the dictionary, yesterday I came *this* close to sending an email warning that: ‘there are sections that may need to be felched out.’

The danger is there. You have been warned.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030619
The Political Weblog Movement
Time
08:54
Take a sneaky-peek into the life of an MP:

Questions to the PM: The Limelight Lottery

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Date
20030619
Tony Blair’s Email
Time
09:46
This is a picture of Tim Yeo. It will change before your very eyes in just over two hours from now. Unless, of course, he gets off his bum and emails me before then.

UPDATE – The Guardian is at it again. Check out the following back-handed acknowledgement:

“Tim Yeo, shadow trade and industry secretary, last week followed a legion of cyber bores in pointing out that Tony Blair does not have a public email address.”

Legion are we? Boring is it?

“Like most good political japes, Yeo’s stunt scores because it exposes a genuine weakness.”

Ex-squeeze me? Bloggerheads exposed this weakness months and months and months and months ago. And that was only step one. But obviously this doesn’t count because it’s just another sodding website.

If it weren’t for the push from Bloggerheads and support from readers (including one or two MPs), Blair’s communications team would not be moving on this at all. At all.

Eight months of my life hijacked by a Conservative with a bloody Hotmail address. I’m getting increasingly upset about this.

Tim Yeo is an asshat. And he eats children’s eyeballs.

(I know I’m an hour early with the first pic, but dammit I’m angry.)

Tim Yeo wants to be involved with the project? Fine. Then he should be prepared to get naked. A lot.

He wants publicity? He’s going to get it in spades.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030619
The Tim Yeo Project
Time
12:02
Right, there you have it. A week has passed. Tim Yeo, the man so concerned about the PM’s lack of email address, can’t even answer his own bloody email.

He doesn’t even have a website. But we can soon fix that.

UPDATE – Yup, we sure can. Tim Yeo – The Weblog is live. That took about 5 minutes. About the same amount of time it takes to set up a Hotmail address. I feel so dirty.

A week is a long time in politics. This time next week, search results for ‘Tim Yeo’ are going to be interesting to say the least.

Far be it from me to steal material from another website, but this just has to be said:

I’m about to get 21st century on his ass.

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Date
20030619
A Blog Is Born
Time
13:31
Hooray! Long-time Usenutter ickle sheep has just started a blog. You’ll like ickle. We’ve shared beer on many occasions. It’s not easy with only one straw, but we get by.

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Date
20030619
Tim Yeo: Campaign Hijacker
Time
15:53
A special page has been created to acknowledge Tom Yeo’s grand contribution to the Tony Blair email campaign. The first nude image is already live. When will the nonsense end? When I get due credit for work done to date – and an apology from Tim Yeo – on the Conservatives website and in at least one major newspaper.

Lesson to be learned: If you mess with a turtle, expect to get flippered.

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Date
20030619
Flash Music Video
Time
17:06
JPEG Baby is only getting about 500 views a day at the mo, but perhaps it’s worth considering a suitable replacement for Terry Wogan. Now, let me see, who would make an excellent candidate…

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Date
20030620
The Political Weblog Movement
Time
07:43
Whoa! Cool your jets, people.

I was worried this might happen. Ickle has started a weblog on behalf of his MP. I’ve actually considered this as an option to push the whole MP weblog thing forward, but caution is required.

If there’s a sudden rash of weblogs ‘on behalf of’ MPs that show what they should be doing, then this could very well work – but if the only story that reaches them has a negative spin (e.g. ‘Weblogs Attack MPs’), then that’s all they’re going to want to know about weblogs and they’re going to run a mile.

If you’re going to do this, do try to show your fluffy side, folks. Help them to understand weblogs. Make them want a weblog. You may also want to link to Richard Allan and Tom Watson in the nav-bar so they can see what a real MP weblog looks like. Above all, be nice.

Unless, of course, the MP in question is, say, a hijacking hypocrite who’s stolen 8 months of your work for his own benefit. In which case, feel free to go completely bonkers. Who am I to say no?

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Date
20030620

Time
07:52
Scott never learned Oatmeal Box Pinhole Photography at school. I did. (Nerny-nerny-ner-ner!) In fact, I went to a school for gifted children, so we were trusted to (*gasp*) actually make our own box.

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Date
20030620
Clue-By-Four Required
Time
07:56
Oh, FFS. Some idiot company just hassled groovymother.com for using the word ‘clue by four’ because – wait for it – they own the trademark and are ‘in the process of bringing that product to market.’

They’re sure to be after me next. There’s quite a few indexed references from Bloggerheads in Google’s database and countless others in my archives.

Well, good luck to them. I have the feeling they’re going to be their own best customer.

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Date
20030620

Time
08:08
U.S. Rep. Mark Foley targets nudist summer camp for teenagers. There’s more info about the camp in this article by the New York Times (requires registration).

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Date
20030620

Time
08:13
Police shut down little girl’s lemonade stand. She didn’t have a temporary business permit. Seriously.

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Date
20030620
Murdoch is a Bastard
Time
08:15
Media bill under threat as Lords warm to ‘Murdoch’ amendment. Hurray for the House of Lords! May Dog bless one of our few remaining safety-valves.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030620
Tim Yeo’s Hotmail Account Terminated
Time
08:23
Oh dear, whatever can this mean?

This Message was undeliverable due to the following reason:

Each of the following recipients was rejected by a remote mail server.

The reasons given by the server are included to help you determine why each recipient was rejected.

Recipient: rthontonyblairmp@hotmail.com

Reason: Requested action not taken: mailbox unavailable

Perhaps it has something to do with this:

Hello Tim ,

We have taken appropriate action in accordance with the MSN Terms of Use (TOU) on the account: rthontonyblairmp@hotmail.com that you reported.

You can view our rules and regulations at:

http://privacy.msn.com/tou/default.asp

MSN Hotmail Customer Support

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Date
20030620

Time
08:27
A third of of Australians cruise through life stoned. It’s the only way to silence the voices…

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030620
Tim Yeo: Campaign Hijacker
Time
09:32
The Tim Yeo Nude Gallery has been updated with the following image entitled: ‘Modesty Above All.’

We thank you.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030620

Time
10:04
Senator Hatch, the man who wants to blow up your computer if you use copyrighted material without permission, uses an unlicensed copy of a JavaScript menu system on his official website. (Cheers to Mark for the heads-up. I missed it on Blogdex this morning.)

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030620
It’s War! And Somebody’s Telling Porkies!
Time
14:18
Christian Science Monitor: Galloway papers deemed forgeries. I just heard on the radio that good ol’ George has refused to accept their apology. But the Telegraph is standing its ground, too. They claim that their document is completely different from the six pages upon which the CSM based its story. The Telegraph document was also tested by CSM, and judged to be ‘genuine.’ And, we can assume, mysteriously fire-proof.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030620
Flash Music Video
Time
16:03
JPEG Baby is getting hundreds and hundreds of lovely visitors, thanks to pluggage by Vancouver radio station, 99.3 the FOX. A big hello to everybody who made it to the main blog.

HELLLLOOOOOOO!

We’d like you to hassle more radio stations, please. Call and request ‘JPEG Baby’ today. We want worldwide airplay without a record deal. Just to make a point.

Total page views since launch: 57,570

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Date
20030620

Time
16:18
Google calls in the ‘language police’. Fair enough, this one – they created the word. But to be included in the dictionary and used in everyday language is actually pretty cool. Almost priceless when it means free plugs on TV shows like ER. And it helps Robbie Williams to get laid. That’s got to be a good thing. The poor guy meets women in the U.S. and when he first gives them his name they (probably) usually say: “You know, you’re not as old/hairy/funny as I thought you would be. Go on, do ‘Mork’ for me.”

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030620
The Political Weblog Movement
Time
17:55
From Richard Allan, Lib-Dem MP and blogger:

“It has been a splendid first week’s blogging. I’ve had more comments in one week than my regular website received in months – I knew the format was strong but am still mightily impressed.

“And, what’s more, I’ve really enjoyed it! It really is a very engaging way to carry on a conversation with lots of people on subjects of mutual interest.”

More words of wisdom at the blog itself. Go visit. If you’re an MP, pay attention!

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030621
Tim Yeo – Where Is The Apology?
Time
00:37
Tim, don’t talk to your lawyers. They just want money.

Me…? I just want an apology..

Just email me like a goddamn gentleman, and I guarantee that you will be amazed at how fast things can change.

Do nothing, and I guarantee that you will be amazed at how fast things can change.

One email. You remember email, don’t you? You were hassling the PM about it just last week….

In fact, if you get off your arse fast enough, you can be the first ever Conservative MP with a weblog – plus win a massive and appreciative audience into the bargain! And all you have to do is (*shock-horror*) admit that you’re human.

And do you know what?

If you won’t be the first Conservative MP with a weblog, somebody else from your party will.

However…

If you step up to the plate now… If you present yourself honestly.. If you get online and Join. The. Sodding. Conversation… you can not only turn this thing around, you can give me a genuine nosebleed.

Walk the walk. Embrace technology. Start a weblog.

Conversations are the future. Come and talk with us, or stand back and watch us talk about you. At length. With illustrations.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030622

Time
12:18
Police have arrested a man who gatecrashed Prince William’s 21st birthday party at Windsor Castle last night. Please, please, please let this unnamed man be Karl Power.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030622

Time
12:22
Bloggerheads is now listed at blogwise.com (the specific listing is here). I’ll have a play with the system tomorrow, or maybe sometime today when my hangover recedes to a dull roar.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030622
Flash Music Video
Time
12:25
JPEG Baby is big in Japan again after a listing at this site. The song also got another airing on WZBC 90.3FM thanks to Steve. Cheers, mate.

Now, if I can manage to finagle a record deal, do you think we could run a successful campaign to have this joyful little wankfest top the charts? I’m dying to appear on Top of the Pop Shots.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030622

Time
12:45
I went to a wedding yesterday and met a lot of very nice people. Some of them may end up here this afternoon.

Hello.

That very long story about Tony Blair starts here.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030623
It’s War! And I’m Confused!
Time
08:26
“The museum wasn’t looted; most items where taken downstairs for storage.”

Ah, but now we find that the storerooms have been looted. The next development is sure to be a claim that the storerooms weren’t looted; concerned citizens (and some foreign journalists) merely took individual items home for safekeeping.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030623
Riding High on Blogdex
Time
08:27
Democrats Go Off the Cliff. It’s very worrying to live in a country without a cohesive and effective opposition. If these guys don’t get their act together, 2004 will be a cakewalk for The Evil One.

Interestingly, this is also charting well today:

“The Democrats seem unable to locate an issue with which to oppose Bush, most having voted for everything he’s requested to date. May I suggest the truth? The single image Bush has promoted is flag-waving hero of the Republic. The evidence proves he is a coward.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030623

Time
08:28
Do you suffer from Sexsomnia?

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030623

Time
08:31
More Barbies than you can poke a non-articulated limb at. Neo-Nazi Barbie comes with the following disclaimer from the artist:

“Please note: I do not endorse nazis. Nor do I endorse Barbies.”

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030623

Time
08:33
Media blitz ensures the return of little girl’s lemonade stand. Police and city officials have caught most of the flak, but the curtain-twitching Grinch behind the complaint that forced them to act remains happily anonymous.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030623

Time
08:37
And you think that I have too much time on my hands? Summaries of The Price Is Right will bring tears to your eyes – even if it does only cover seasons 28, 29, 30 and 31. The design, BTW, shows very clearly why JPEGs never can and never will be able to take the place of GIFs.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030623

Time
08:40
Visitors flocking to see the (alleged) apparition of the Virgin Mary in a window of Milton Hospital have been interfering with staff and patients, so administrators have put a tarp over the window. Now, instead of a lot of curious people filling the car park, they have a lot of angry people filling the car park.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030623
Christianity Watch
Time
08:41
How long has it been since you visited Bibleman?

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030623

Time
08:43
The Corporate Blog Is Catching On (requires registration).

Core messages to take away:

1. Personality is the key

2. Use a trusted employee

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Date
20030623

Time
08:47
A wonderful gallery of pre-prohibition products (via Ultimate Insult). I love the coca-wine that promotes itself as a cure for addication to opium or alcohol.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030623
Welcome to the 21st Century
Time
08:53
See George Bush falling off a Segway.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030623

Time
08:54
School bus driver asks children for directions and is taken on 20-mile detour. It took him two hours to complete a 10-minute journey.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030623
Tim Yeo: Campaign Hijacker
Time
08:56
There’ll be some more Tim Yeo action here and at the weblog later today. Today’s gallery inclusion is a submission, and I’m just trying to clear up the matter of a credit link.

Google results should be in my tomorrow morning. Here’s hoping that Tim sees sense before then and gets in touch.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030623
Updates
Time
12:42
If you’ve been here for a while, you probably already know that the ‘follow me’ section of the nav-bar is – primarily – a listing of sites, portals of communities that I visit every day. As my habits change, it becomes necessary to update this section of the nav-bar.

Today, changes have been made in order to trim sites that I no longer visit as much as I used to, and to include technorati and zfilter.

A new category has also been added to represent a new and growing interest in weblogs by MPs. I hope this will soon grow so out of control that it will have to be removed from the nav-bar and put on a separate page where it can enjoy more elbow-room.

Finally, a long-overdue personal, professional and political profile had been added to the site (and is linked under the ‘who he?’ section of the nav-bar).

That is all.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030623
Mustard Man
Time
13:08
Mike ‘Nug’ Nahrgang (see ‘Mustard Man’ for details) is participating in the 2003 Canadian National Finals of the World Beer Games. There’s a bunch of folks over at Fark having fun with one of the images right now. Enjoy.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030623
Music
Time
13:29
Anyone here from in and around Sydney? Make time to go and see Anthony Snape perform live this week. Those little hairs on the back of your neck will thank you for it. Oh, and tell him I said ‘hi.’

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030623

Time
16:42
This is a very nice piece on the recent Google (TM) hissy fit from Wordlab. The one thing Google can’t afford to do is piss people off or get heartlessly corporate – or try to reduce the way we use their brand in conversation. This is the trend that built their brand. Trying to reverse it seems somewhat backward.

A lot of ‘most popular search’ lists on other search engines are now often topped by the word (note ‘word’, not ‘brand’) ‘google.’

These days, the answer a lot of people give instead of “I don’t know!” or “Look it up!” is: “I don’t know. Have you googled it?”

I don’t want to be worried about the bloody trademark police every time I consciously or unconsciously refer new users to their service.

I’m hoping they’ll rethink this and get back to us.

If not, perhaps we can get DNA’s family to back us up on a strategic countersuit…

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030623

Time
16:55
Don’t let Bush being and arsehole blind you to the real threat of terrorism. I agree; the threat is there. Worse, the Bush administration is actually trying to use the threat to their advantage.

Incidentally, I was quite worried last month that the Big Brother house was a prime UK target (poor security, high visibility, low payload requirement, guaranteed footage, etc.) but now I’ve relaxed a bit. Nothing to do with decreased vigilance, it’s just become obvious that no-one is watching the damn thing.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030624

Time
08:27
Heh. Did George Bush fall off his Segway deliberately to support his chums in the oil industry?

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030624
Anybody But George
Time
08:29
Wesley Clark is dragging his heels, but Howard Dean has announced his candidacy. This has a few people excited, but I still think his faux-blog is pants.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030624
Riding High on Blogdex
Time
08:32
The American Apology Shirt allows you to travel in style, comfort and greatly increased safety, thanks to an important message printed clearly in Arabic, Chinese, English, French, Spanish, and Russian. Go and look. You’ll love it.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030624
Look It Up
Time
08:37
George Washington made his own whiskey. He also grew his own cannabis (and made at least one diary entry about separating the male and female plants, which is what you do if you want to use it for something besides making rope). Of course, it was Thomas Jefferson who penned ‘the pursuit of happiness’ into the constitution, but he was a notorious pothead, too.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030624

Time
08:42
That Honda ad (which I still think uses more than a little CGI trickery) won’t be screened in the U.S., as advertisers are worried that Americans won’t understand it. Perhaps they can add a little shouty person in the corner, then.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030624
Christianity Watch
Time
08:50
Smile, children! It’s Binkles the Christian Clown, and he’s here to to present a fun and funky lesson that will help you to memorise a bible verse, a few songs and an ‘unforgettable’ bible story. Most worrying of all, the site promises that: “an invitation to recieve (sic) Jesus as personal Savior and Lord is always given at the conclusion.”

(Link via fellow agnostic Scott.)

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030624
Flash Music Video
Time
08:55
Today, JPEG Baby reaches all the way to the sunny shores of Iceland. Total page views since launch: 62,963.

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Date
20030624

Time
09:04
A Blogger’s Big-Fish Fantasy (requires registration).

Quite rightly notes that ‘linking to others gets links.’ But not always. Keep it in context, people. Have something to say.

For the record, I watch my stats a lot. I’m not so worried about traffic, more about patterns.

For instance, I know from my stats that there are at least 50 of you who deliberately tune in between 8:30am-9:30am (GMT) when I do the bulk of my blogging, presumably so you can have the pleasure of watching me correct my spoiling mistakes.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030624
Blogs and Money
Time
09:11
Here’s a little tool that lets you preview Adsense, the new blogvertising service from Google. It seems to think that I’d do best selling blog tools. Funny, that.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030624
Follow Up
Time
09:12
Can’t critic see camp is nude, but not lewd? So who’s doing the exploiting; the nudist camp, or Mark Foley?

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Date
20030624

Time
09:14
I scream, you scream… PossePops is the new ice confection being touted by none other than Ice T. They look like more or less like chocolate chipwiches, but each ice cream comes with a wrapper that dares you – in authentic street-speak – to say ‘no’ to drugs, wear a condom, and go to school.

“Eat + read + learn = word!” Yo!

In (arguably) related news, a novelty ‘shock’ pen sold though ice cream vans and local markets is causing chaos at the Dickey Elementary School in Ontario.

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Date
20030624
Tim Yeo: Campaign Hijacker
Time
09:28
*sigh*

The tragedy is that this could have been avoided with a simple email last week.

Now I’m after a public apology on the Conservatives website and in a major newspaper (however, if Mr Yeo wishes to bury it bit, I suppose he can always slip this into the letters section or the personal ads).

To paraphrase another of this nation’s great public servants:

“The turtle’s *not* for tipping!”

Will I get my apology?

Well, let’s see…

This morning, searching for Tim Yeo brings up all sorts of wonderful results. The Tim Yeo: Campaign Hijacker page performs best, results for this are as follows:

AOL (#4)

Google (#4)

Yahoo! (#3)

These three search engines are the source of 75% of search engine traffic.

Tom Watson’s entry on the matter snuggles in just below this. The Tim Yeo Weblog rolls in late at #9, and – for today only – FunJunkie gives the whole issue a quick nod, courtesy of a sly change to their Page Title. Go and peek.

You may very well come to the conclusion that Tim Yeo has been ‘googlebombed,’ but such a suggestion is misleading, as Google has not provided the ammunition in this case; Tim has. A better term might be ‘tossbombed,’ then.

UPDATE – The nude gallery now contains a new, submitted image. This was supposed to go live yesterday. Sorry about that.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030624

Time
09:44
Did I blog that powergenitalia.com was a spoof? No? No matter: Snopes to the rescue.

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Date
20030624
Flash Music Video
Time
11:26
More JPEG Baby forum-love over at this thread at techimo.com. Oh, and here’s some people that didn’t like it at all. At all.

Oh well. You can’t please everybody.

UPDATE – Damn, I’ve been meaning to blog this for ages. Jim Coleman wrote in with the following:

“I just wanted to say that JPEG Baby is possibly the worst piece of music I have ever heard. Why on earth have you made this?”

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030624
Tim Yeo: Campaign Hijacker
Time
11:57
Ahahahahahaha! Justice is done. A few visitors have turned up this morning looking for Tim Yeo’s email address.

Tell you what; I’ll give him 24 hours before publishing the two core addresses he uses on the ‘campaign hijacker’ page where they’ll be much, much easier to find. It’s my duty to Google to provide what people seek, after all.

I’ll be careful to drop a spamblock in, of course. I’m not a complete bastard.

On that note, I’ve emailed Tim Yeo (again) this morning. Maybe you’d care to as well.

Use either of these:

yeot AT parliament DOT uk

timyeomp AT parliament DOT uk

Be nice.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030624
It’s War! And Somebody’s Going To Pay!
Time
15:51
Dozens of children killed by mines and unexploded bombs every day in Iraq (contains disturbing images).

It made me want to spit bullets when Blair turned around after the million-strong march with the new-and-improved humanitarian justification. Now it could very well blow up in his face.

I wonder how many of these leftover devices the UK is responsible for?

I’m not quite sure how much good this petition will do, but if it makes you feel better you may as well sign your life away.

(Links via Joho and Earth-Info.)

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030624

Time
17:17
Hehehehe.

Tom just posted the following comment he got by email regarding the Teens page:

“just to let you kno, your teenz page is the most pathetic attempt at making politics relevant for the younger generation, I have seen in a long while…..Dont try getting down wiv the kidz, let the kidz get up to politics, its time for a real democracy…”

Of course, I can’t be too smug. I did fall for powergenitalia.com, largely because of the same assumption of ignorance.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030625
The Political Weblog Movement
Time
08:13
I wanted to get deeper into the whole pamphleteer/blogger thing, so I asked my Dad (who’s got the learnin’) to have a think about it and maybe send me some details.

The email he sent me is quoted in full below.

Dad isn’t 100% on blogs, so the fact that he pretty much nails it in the first paragraph confirms the parallel for me.

A few points before we go to the email:

1. There were many, many pamphleteers who frittered this opportunity away promoting recipes for cheesecake (or ye olde equivalent).

2. People aren’t as desperate for information as they were then, but after decades of corporate bullshit, they do crave a human voice.

3. I’m sure many of you will get to the end and say: “Ah! So that’s where he gets it from!”

Dear Tim,

It seems that you are right in what you say about pamphleteers being the bloggers of the past. There are a number of criteria that you need to take into consideration when taking a stance and writing on it, however. Firstly, the position and standing of the writer determines the spread of his views. Next, the topic itself must be of interest to a wide audience. Thirdly, the facts presented must bear a ring of truth either spun or unspun. The next point is that the audience must be persuaded to read the material, which is probably the greatest challenge.

The original pamphleteers had a great advantage. People, common people, were thirsty for any news they could get and so anything in print was read and believed by those who held similar views. The views were quoted to support arguments and so the writers of the pamphlets gained notoriety. As time went on, reputation came ahead of content. Today, reputation comes from having access to a column in the print media. People who haven’t are up against the celebrity factor from the start and the catch-up is difficult.

Topics on which pamphlets must be written today are an anathema to most of the apathy-ridden masses. Why do they need to listen to criticism or even think about the policies/decisions of a Government they didn’t vote for when their favourite team/celebrity is undergoing sex changes/ a slump/ bad hair days or what have you. They just don’t give a s***. They have been programmed by the media not to.

If they are inclined to listen, they are so acclimatised to spin being put on the truth that they disbelieve everything they cannot see or touch. Logic is difficult for many to apply, so they don’t. You need to make your facts very simple and very demonstrable, even if they are lies. Remember that the spin-doctors went to the Goebbels School of Propaganda and learned that the more often a lie is told, the sooner it becomes truth and that the bigger the lie, the more likely it is to be believed.

Finally, when you consider that the most that most people read of the news is the headlines outside the newsagents, That may be a worthy place to begin. Make up your own headlines. ‘PRIME MINISTER CAUGHT TELLING THE TRUTH FOR FIRST TIME’ would be immediately believed by everybody, and they would all be wondering what that truth was. Some would even follow up the story.

So you can see the problem you have in front of you. Your content can be the best in the world, truthful and hard-hitting but you are 350 years too late to get it out there easily. I like it, and agree with a lot of it, but you need more readers. How you get them is your greatest challenge.

I could write more, but that is the guts of it. Probably a greater reflection of my own cynicism than a critique, but there you are.

Best wishes

Dad

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030625

Time
08:18
Staffordshire county councillor caught speeding with speed camera he donated to local police.

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Date
20030625
Anybody But George
Time
08:24
This ‘sneak preview of the president’s 2004 campaign’ is charting well on Blogdex.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030625

Time
08:27
Roll over. Play dead. Good boy.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030625
Follow Up
Time
08:27
Crowd gathered at Milton Hospital claim to see second apparition on chimney.

”It’s another sign . . . there is hope for us all, with all that is going on in the world,” said one.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030625

Time
08:33
There are only a few weird and wonderful products in this modest collection, but I you just have to see the portable bedroom mirror.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030625

Time
08:35
Dog born with no forelegs learns to walk upright. It would have been a better story had the dog been born with no hind legs.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030625
Tim Yeo: Campaign Hijacker
Time
08:40
Searches for ‘tim yeo’ in Google now present the ‘campaign hijacker’ page at No.3 and the Tim Yeo weblog at No. 4 (with similar results appearing in AOL and Yahoo lagging behind – for the moment).

These new results and related linkage actually knock his profile at the Conservatives website pretty much out of the picture. This would have been much harder to do with a dedicated website. Especially so if there had been an audience willing to back him up in a similar way.

Hopefully a lesson learned, then.

A new image has been added to the nude gallery. It is entitled:

“The Afterglow of Power”

B3tans got a sneaky-peek at this last night. Unsurprisingly, it broke someone’s brain. Sorry about that.

Mr Yeo should take a closer look at the Tony Blair email campaign to see how long I carried on with that (plus maybe The Star Wars Photoshopping Project to see how long I carried on with that) before deluding himself into thinking that this will pass like a bad stone.

I want my apology.

Does he really want me taking him to task on every promise he makes during the next election?

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030625

Time
09:01
Beware the Paypal Scam!

It’s not the first time this has been done, but it may be the first time for you, so watch out:

Con artists have been sending fake emails purportedly from Paypal, asking members to confirm their username, password, credit card number, etc. etc. etc.

It’s a scam. Learn to spot them for your own protection.

No organisation like Paypal would email you requesting information in such a way. Would your bank call you out of the blue asking for your PIN number?

(In fact, there have been many recent scams just like this, too. The Paypal scam appears to be a mere e-copy of these.)

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030625
Tim Yeo: The Limited Offer
Time
13:15
The following is a complete and unedited copy of an email that is being sent to Tim Yeo in 5, 4, 3, 2…

Dear Mr Yeo,

Somehow I don’t think that this one small issue encapsulates everything you have done or are trying to do as an MP, but as far as 75% of web users who search for your name are concerned, it is presented as the primary issue.

In fact, it’s now presented ahead of your profile at Conservatives.com

Perhaps, then, the small threat of admitting that you actually made a mistake pales into insignificance in this case.

Let us hope so, because I’m about to show you my fluffier side and make a very kind offer. With a shelf-life of precisely 24 hours.

What I Need From You:

- Answer this email within 24 hours.

- Acknowledge that it was a bit cheeky of you to hijack an existing campaign and use it for your own ends.

- Apologise for same.

- Guarantee that you will seek no further publicity on this front and/or promise that you will acknowledge the contribution Bloggerheads has made should the issue come up again.

(optional)

- Ask a question in parliament designed to nail down an actual delivery date on a viable service for Tony Blair (the two previous questions are on record, so how carefully you need to word this question should be obvious).

Many folks that watch Bloggerheads are almost as angry about this as I am, so they’re going to want to see a result. Because of this, I will need to blog your reply in part or total (so please keep this in mind when drafting it).

However, this strictly limited offer does negate the need for you to publish your apology at Conservatives.com and via a major newspaper. Also…

What I Offer In Return:

If we can settle this promptly to the satisfaction of my readers (and myself), it makes sense to simply draw a line under it from there and call it a day. So…

- The Tim Yeo – Campaign Hijacker page will be amended to display the true nature of this issue (i.e. as a simple, and corrected, misunderstanding).

- All nude images (and references to same) will be removed from this page.

- The Tim Yeo weblog will be shut down and removed entirely.

Why This Makes Sense:

I can stop. I can release my vice-like grip. Some form of spiked hammer is not necessary. I cannot, however, guarantee the same of anybody else who comes along and considers this situation to be well out of order. This means that you not only have to worry about escalation of activity from myself, but also from other users who may wish to use you as an IT punching-bag.

The longer this issue is out there and as prominent as this, the greater that risk is. God forbid that a journalist should decide to research your name sometime in the next few days.

I urge you to get in touch today and settle this.

There are more important things in life, and I’d like to get on with them.

I am sure that you feel the same.

Regards,

Tim Ireland

http://www.bloggerheads.com/

(Please note that this email to you has been blogged in its entirety.)

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030625

Time
13:45
Young Rich will want to be quick if he’s planning on dropping by with a ‘Tim Yeo Nude’ submission. I’m hoping that the whole issue will be done with by this time tomorrow.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030625

Time
15:12
Bloggers! Behold your prophet!

“There is one mind common to all individual men. Every man is an inlet to the same and to all of the same. He that is once admitted to the right of reason is made a freeman of the whole estate. What Plato has thought, he may think; what a saint has felt, he may feel; what at any time has be-fallen any man, he can understand. Who hath access to this universal mind is a party to all that is or can be done, for this is the only and sovereign agent.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson

It looks like we have a pretty strong candidate for sainthood here.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030625

Time
15:22
Be warned that Defend Your Castle may look simple at first, but is incredibly addictive once you get past Stage 3 or 4. For full enjoyment – Read. The. Instructions! (Found via FunJunkie.)

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030625

Time
15:48
An almost-live blow-by-blow of Alastair Campbell facing the WMD inquiry. Go watch! (Link via Tom Watson.)

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030625
Welcome to Winston’s World
Time
16:16
The government’s Criminal Justice Bill plans to give police powers to take DNA samples from anybody who has been arrested. Not just those that have been charged. I’m not terribly happy about that. Just standing up for my rights on May Day could have been enough to get me arrested. Sure, the whole thing would be cleared up pretty sharpish (I would hope), but my life would still be on a database somewhere. Operated by the Chuckle Brothers, no doubt.

Are they seriously telling us that such a database would be immune to corruption or incompetence?

Just like with bloody GM food, it’s full speed ahead, and damn the consequences.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030625
It’s War! And Somebody’s Going To Pay!
Time
17:58
When put on the spot, Alastair Campbell admitted that Californian student Ibrahim al-Marashi was indeed owed an apology. Why? Well, his work was lifted from the Internet without credit or recompense, and then misused with a highly political agenda.

Are you paying attention, Mr Yeo?

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030625

Time
23:22
Y’see, this is why I don’t read discarded copies of The Sun any more. It just aggravates me:

‘Paras’ massacred by rabble.

Such a familiar term; ‘Paras.’

Right up there with ‘Our Boys.’

Perhaps the writing/editorial team of The Sun can present us with a complete rundown of their military service record.

This simple result is by no means definitive, but it strikes a chord with me.

Also, the use of ‘rabble’ in this headline is a perfect example of The Sun’s exploitation of the illiterate and the ignorant.

I’ve actually taken a survey commissioned by The Sun.

The first question asked if I read the articles, or just read the headlines.

For many people, the simple use of the word ‘rabble’ will be the end of the matter. No matter what they read (or have read to them) after.

Were they (allegedly) Saddam loyalists and (therefore) completely evil, or were they simply a shabby crowd with ideas above their station?

If the former, we can look forward to a decent hanging at last. If the latter; how dare they attack Our Boys?

I swear; what this country needs is a broadsheet with tits in it.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030626
Riding High on Blogdex
Time
09:37
The new Google Toolbar (beta) has a pop-up blocker and a ‘blog this’ feature.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030626
It’s War! And Somebody’s Telling Porkies!
Time
09:39
Alastair Campbell shifts focus to BBC ‘lies.’

There was a lot of talk after his questioning about what a good performance it was. ‘Performance’ is right. As you would expect, his responses were high on spin and low on substance.

When it came down to the nitty-gritty of it, the suggestion that a back-room cabal had made plans for war without consulting the Foreign Office or MPs, he went on and on and on and on and on about what a serious allegation that was.

Yes, it’s serious, but that doesn’t make it untrue, now does it

He then ran off a list of the accused who had denied it.

That also does not make the claim untrue.

Said Mr Campbell;

“I know scepticism is fine, but are we really so cynical that we think any prime minister is going to make prior decisions to send British forces into conflict and wouldn’t rather avoid doing that.”

If we are that cynical, Mr Campbell, then we have you to thank for it.

And it still doesn’t make the claim untrue.

So there.

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Date
20030626

Time
09:42
How To Tell If Your Head’s About To Blow Up.

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Date
20030626

Time
09:43
Front yard display irks neighbours. Is it a home, or is it a business? This zoning question threatens the safety and comfort of dozens of angels, dwarfs, frogs, dogs, flamingos, rabbits, turtles, religious figures, and plastic crocodiles.

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Date
20030626

Time
09:46
The top 11 movies about animals attacking people. No.1 will surprise you not a lot.

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Date
20030626

Time
09:52
Princess Di: Mutant Superhero

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Date
20030626
Christianity Watch
Time
09:54
“Even if YOU don’t know what faith you are, Belief-O-Matic™ knows. Answer 20 questions about your concept of God, the afterlife, human nature, and more, and Belief-O-Matic™ will tell you what religion (if any) you practice…or ought to consider practicing.”

The disclaimer is even funnier. Go see – and take the test. I tried it, but for some reason my answers caused a major page error.

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Date
20030626

Time
09:56
OK, that’s it for now. I want to leave room for anything that (*ahem*, nudge) may come along today.

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Date
20030626
Tim Yeo: The Limited Offer
Time
11:18
About 2 hours to go. He’s cutting it fine.

I’m dead busy today, so don’t expect me to go completely 21st century on his ass from the moment the deadline passes at 1:24pm

I will, however, be taking suggestions for appropriate action at this time…

Oh, just thought I’d mention… Tim Yeo’s Conservatives.com profile has staged a bit of a comeback on ‘tim yeo’ searches, but the Tim Yeo weblog is now outperforming the Tim Yeo – Campaign Hijacker page. There have been no updates to the Tim Yeo weblog today, as I genuinely hope to be able to shut it down sometime this afternoon.

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Date
20030626

Time
12:23
One hour. It don’t look good.

tic tic tic tic tic tic tic

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Date
20030626

Time
13:11
Whoa! A tidy little traffic spike over the last hour, with at least half a dozen individuals accessing the site via parliament.uk

Everyone’s watching and waiting, but I have the feeling we’re all about to be sorely disappointed…

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Date
20030626
Tim Yeo: The Limited Offer
Time
13:25
Moment of truth… downloading email…

Hey, I’ve selected for a special giveaway! I can also have a larger penis, maintain a harder, longer erection with said penis, and say goodbye to my debt problems.

I cannot, unfortunately, call it a day on the Tim Yeo issue. No reply. At all.

I’m really quite sad about that.

Even notorious spin-doctor Alastair Campbell has acknowledged that a person whose material has been lifted from the Internet and used for a political purpose deserves an apology. Why can’t Mr Yeo do the same?

OK, suggestions taken from this point on. How do we reach Tim Yeo? How do we convince him to do the gentlemanly thing? He obviously doesn’t care what the online community thinks of him, so some ‘real life’ action may be called for.

Thinking caps on. Emails to the usual address.

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Date
20030626

Time
14:40
I really am quite depressed about this. As soon as I finish the work on my plate, I’m going to cruise by the B3ta board for some much-needed cheering up.

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Date
20030627

Time
08:35
Every Star Wars Kid video ever made. Interesting to see the number of people it inspired, but it was the original that warmed our hearts. You may recognise the collection of animations. I’ve emailed and asked (nicely) for a credit link.

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Date
20030627
Riding High on Blogdex
Time
08:38
Steer and queers now legal in Texas. The Supreme Court ruling is also expected to have an impact on other states with anti-sodomy laws.

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Date
20030627

Time
08:46
These extracts from a 1970′s Scientology pamphlet are doing the rounds. Do make the effort to work through the lot. You wouldn’t want to miss highlights such as the peacekeeping efforts of the Volunteer Minister. Techniques such as Contact Assist and Locational Assist follow in situations that will chill you to the bone with their stark realism. See it all. At the very least, head forward to see the Volunteer Minister meet the ‘Chief of Police’ and solve the local crime problem with a cunning plan outlined on a single sheet of A4 paper.

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Date
20030627

Time
08:50
See the mug shot of the man who tried to rob a pharmacy with his finger.

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Date
20030627

Time
08:53
A site dedicated to every single body part of Michael Jackson. She really, really likes his neck. You’ve probably also seen Eminem’s oh-so-clever stunt. It would be funnier if he weren’t just as disturbing as Jacko – and about 6 months too late. (Oooh, I am in a mood today…)

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Date
20030627
Telemarketers
Time
08:57
Phoneonthecob.com is proving popular, in that it mixes the joy of prank phone calls with truly deserving victims. They call him, y’see. And not all of them are allowed to hang up.

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Date
20030627

Time
08:59
How can you possibly say no to caffeinated beer that glows in the dark?

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Date
20030627
Anybody But George
Time
09:02
See George Bush hanging around in a classroom for five minutes after being told of WTC attack. The longer introduction (scroll down) is quite mean-spirited. I mean, maybe he just wanted to find out what made Spot run.

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Date
20030627

Time
09:05
An estimated 40,000 people have journeyed to Milton Hospital to see the apparition of the Virgin Mary. One man who was interviewed said; “I don’t see anything except a dirty window.&