Archive for the ‘Campfire Songs’ Category

Posted by Tim Ireland at 13 June 2016

Category: Campfire Songs

Today, I release the sixth and final music video from The Cautionary Campfire Songbook (Amazon (UK) | Amazon (US)), and the associated album produced in conjunction with Koit: Cautionary Campfire Songs (Amazon | Google Play | iTunes).

Today’s lesson: Not everything you read on the internets is true. Don’t expect everyone to be reasonable about this.

The Conspiracy Song

I have made the artistic decision to refrain from any comment on the alleged merit of any of the conspiracy theories referenced in this song. Similarly, I have no comment to make on the alleged significance of any images used in this or any other music video. I make this statement of my own free will, and under no duress.

THE CONSPIRACY SONG
Lyrics by Tim Ireland


The Pope is a lizard
And so is/was the Queen
Who murdered Diana
And got away clean

Obama’s a Kenyan
And Reagan caused AIDS
George Bush had abortions
(or so people say)

They knocked Norma Jean off
They killed JFK
Who got shot and poisoned
By the CIA

They faked the moon landings
But Roswell was real
There’s drugs in the water
And worms in our meals

They can’t hide the chemtrails
We can’t trust vaccines
We all know that jet fuel
Can’t melt through steel beams

And the New World Order
Will brainwash your kids
And use MKUltra
To hide what they d…

[Singer(s) to suffer a sudden and shadowy but ultimately unexplained death/disappearance by an unknown hand. Examples include: sudden and lethal mushroom poisoning event, forced abduction by hooded men, a laser from the woods appearing on a chest moments before a shot rings out.]








Posted by Tim Ireland at 6 June 2016

Category: Campfire Songs

Today, I release the fifth music video from The Cautionary Campfire Songbook (Amazon (UK) | Amazon (US)), and the associated album produced in conjunction with Koit: Cautionary Campfire Songs (Amazon | Google Play | iTunes).

Today’s lesson: Keep your password safe, and logout when you’re done.

The Password Song

Actually, I should say passwords, plural, as in more than one; a recent poll suggested that 55% of adults use the same password for most if not all websites (source). This means that if someone discovers your password for Facebook, then they also have potential access to your banking details… but I figured that young’uns especially would care more about damage to their social life than their bank balance, thus the focus on the leaking of nude selfies in the saga of Peter and his passwords.

Oh, and in case it’s not obvious, I will mention here that part of keeping your passwords safe is making sure that they are not easy to guess. On that note I will mention that the 5 most popular passwords of 2014 were:

1. 123456
2. password
3. 12345
4. 12345678
5. qwerty

You can see the full list here, and an earlier list from the same source here. The first thing you will notice: the only improvement in near to 5 years is that ‘password’ no longer tops the list, and is currently in second place.

It also bears mentioning that if you are ever going to be away from your computer or device, lock the damn screen, in the same way that you’d lock your car or your front door.

THE PASSWORD SONG
Lyrics by Tim Ireland


Peter went on Facebook and he chatted with his Mum
He didn’t lock his screen or
logout of accounts when done
Peter went on Facebook
and he chatted with his Mum
But he ain’t gonna chat no more

CHORUS
Keeeeep your password safe, and logout when you’re done
Or your so-called friends will get online, and have a little fun
Keeeeep your password safe, and logout when you’re done
Or you ain’t gonna chat no more

His friends accessed his Facebook page and posted all his nudes
They were racy they were sexy and let’s face it they were rude
His friends accessed his Facebook page and posted all his nudes
And he ain’t gonna chat no more

[CHORUS]

They got into his Twitter feed and messaged with his ex
Then chatted with her followers and pleaded for some sex
They got into his Twitter feed and messaged with his ex
And he ain’t gonna chat no more

[CHORUS]

They clicked through to his Myspace page but no-one else was there
They posted all his nudes again but no-one really cared
They clicked through to his Myspace page but no-one else was there
But he ain’t gonna chat no more

[CHORUS]

A short vid of him shagging went to YouTube and to Vine
It ended up on porn sites where they thought it was divine
A short vid of him [bleep]ing went to YouTube and to Vine
And he ain’t gonna chat no more

[CHORUS]

The images on imgur went viral naturally
They tumbled out on tumblr just as easy as can be
There were front page links on reddit for the redditors to see
And he ain’t gonna chat no more

[CHORUS]

The story soon went global, it was clickbait news for sure
The people came to point and laugh and search his name for more
The story soon went global, it was clickbait news for sure
And he ain’t gonna chat no more

[CHORUS]

It all could be avoided if he’d only taken care
But now the world had seen him in his dirty underwear
It all could be avoided if he’d only taken care
And he ain’t gonna chat no more








Posted by Tim Ireland at 31 May 2016

Category: Campfire Songs

Here’s the fourth music video from The Cautionary Campfire Songbook (Amazon (UK) | Amazon (US)), and the associated album produced in conjunction with Koit: Cautionary Campfire Songs (Amazon | Google Play | iTunes). This one teaches the listener/viewer the steps one should take if they encounter a 404 error, and want to find a copy of the missing page or item.

The 404 Song

How did this song come about? Well, I was bouncing some new song ideas around in my head, found myself wondering what could possibly redeem the widely-despised ‘Kumbaya’, quickly arrived at the answer of ‘nothing’… and here we are.

The video goes into detail about the measures you should take if you go to download a web page or similar file and discover that it is missing, but the song alone should be enough to get most people started, even if they’re reduced to asking Google what a ‘Wayback’ is.

My favourite thing about this song is its calming lamentational quality: it prepares you emotionally for your feelings of loss while offering a glimmer of hope about what might yet be found by following a series of logical investigative steps.

THE 404 SONG
Lyrics by Tim Ireland


Page is missing, Lord
404
Page is missing, Lord
404
Page is missing, Lord
404
Oh Lord, 404

Use the site-search, Lord
404
Use the site-search, Lord
404
Use the site-search, Lord
404
Oh Lord, 404

Check the Google cache
404
Check the Google cache
404
Check the Google cache
404
Oh Lord, 404

Check on Wayback, Lord
404
Check on Wayback, Lord
404
Check on Wayback, Lord
404
Oh Lord, 404

Was it mirrored, Lord?
404
Was it mirrored, Lord?
404
Was it mirrored, Lord?
404
Oh Lord, 404

Did someone save it, Lord?
404
Did someone save it, Lord?
404
Did someone save it, Lord?
404
Oh Lord, 404

Gone forever, Lord
404
Gone forever, Lord
404
Gone forever, Lord
404
Oh Lord, 404








Posted by Tim Ireland at 23 May 2016

Category: Campfire Songs

Today I launch the third music video from The Cautionary Campfire Songbook (Amazon (UK) | Amazon (US)), and the associated album produced in conjunction with Koit: Cautionary Campfire Songs (Amazon | Google Play | iTunes). This is the first of the longer songs to be released, and it is about the widely under-appreciated risk of computer viruses and similar malware.

The Virus Song

Instead if simply displaying the lyrics, this video presents a series of data-rich slides showing the scale of previous virus events and the nature of present malware threats, which are more dangerous and criminal in nature than ever before.

Why? Well, malware technology is no longer solely in the hands of computer geeks; there are now a variety of products for sale that allow criminals to create their own malicious programs and delivery packages.

The latest generation of threats includes ‘ransomware’, which encrypts your beloved data with a special key that is specific to you. If you do not pay the blackmail fee to the relevant criminals in time, they will delete that key and you will never be able to access your data again. Yes, this applies even if the police have the wit, authority and will to identify and arrest your blackmailer.

That means that everything you saved between now and your last back-up will be gone forever. That is why the only truly effective defence these days is regular back-ups on an isolated hard drive, and I’m betting that before too long someone will come up with an effective time-delay package that deliberately targets such back-ups.

Have a nice day.

THE VIRUS SONG
Lyrics by Tim Ireland


She will bypass anti-virus when she comes
She will bypass anti-virus when she comes
She will bypass anti-virus and that’s how she’ll get inside us
She will bypass anti-virus when she comes

She will sneak under your radar when she comes
She will sneak under your radar when she comes
She will sneak under your radar like secretive invader
She will sneak under your radar when she comes

She will key-log all your passwords while she’s there
She will key-log all your passwords while she’s there
She will key-log all your passwords and then pass on what that log heard
She will key-log all your passwords while she’s there

She will forward banking details while she’s there
She will forward banking details while she’s there
She will forward banking details to some crooks inside some emails
She will forward banking details while she’s there

She will corrupt all your data when she’s done
She will corrupt all your data when she’s done
She will corrupt all your data so you can’t retrieve it later
She will corrupt all your data when she’s done

She’ll attack the unprotected when she’s done
She’ll attack the unprotected when she’s done
She will attack the unprotected so your friends all get infected
She’ll attack the unprotected when she’s done

You’d be lost without a back-up, do it now
You’d be lost without a back-up, do it now
You’d be lost with a back-up, you’d be bummed out and you’d crack up
You’d be lost without a back-up, do it now








Posted by Tim Ireland at 18 May 2016

Category: Campfire Songs

As promised, here is the music video for the second short song from The Cautionary Campfire Songbook (Amazon (UK) | Amazon (US)), and the associated album produced in conjunction with Koit: Cautionary Campfire Songs (Amazon | Google Play | iTunes). The songs get a bit longer after this one, and from here on in you can expect to see a new music video each week for a total of 4 weeks.

This one is designed not only as a valuable lesson, but as a cautionary/preventative tool to be used in a multitude of digital social situations. Next time you see a troll on the loose and gaining traction, feel free to use this link as an important reminder about the most prudent course of action.

Full lyrics appear below the embedded video. Have fun with it.

The Troll Song

THE TROLL SONG
Lyrics by Tim Ireland

Ohhhhhh…
Nobody likes them
Everybody hates them
Please ignore the trolls
You might think
To kick up a stink
But attention is their goal
They lack the normal social skills
And seek to waste your time
Ignoring them takes zero time
And stops you wasting mine.
Cheers!

NOTE – Let’s be clear here: by ‘trolls’ I mean people who say provocative, upsetting or even hurtful things purely to get a rise out of you and/or to disrupt conversations and communities. This advice about trolls covers a range of anti-social behaviour from childish mischief to downright malice. Obviously, so-called trolls who go further than the law allows should not be totally ignored, but reported to police, quietly and without fuss… but for the avoidance of doubt, “quietly and without fuss” means that you should not then go online and brag that you’ve reported a troll to police. There are certain trolls who get a proper kick out of that, because they know how hopeless and/or helpless most police are when dealing with this kind of anti-social behaviour. If you make this mistake, it’s possible that the only outcome will be letting the little scrote know that they’ve gotten a rise out of you.








Posted by Tim Ireland at 17 May 2016

Category: Campfire Songs

As many regulars will already know, I’ve been volunteering with young people for quite some time now. I mainly teach civic responsibility and how to make fire (preferably in that order), but at times I actually teach these and other important lessons around a fire, and I often use music to do it.

Today I am launching the first in a series of six music videos to promote The Cautionary Campfire Songbook (Amazon (UK) | Amazon (US)), and the associated album produced in conjunction with Koit: Cautionary Campfire Songs (Amazon | Google Play | iTunes)

First cab off the rank is a short but important lesson about money and assorted conmen. Full lyrics appear below the embedded video. An equally short music video will appear very shortly, and after that you can expect to see a new music video every week for 4 weeks. Cheers all.

The Money Song

THE MONEY SONG
Lyrics by Tim Ireland

Oh, don’t send your cash to strangers on the internet,
Princes that you haven’t met,
Sods who say they’ll clear your debt.
Don’t take free bets playing internet roulette,
Or you might lose it all (and more!)








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