Archive for the ‘Humanity’ Category

Posted by Tim Ireland at 27 January 2009

Category: Humanity

Like Justin, I suspect that the word ‘impartiality’ does not mean what Mark Thompson thinks it means.

Donate online to the DEC’s Gaza Crisis now

(I know you probably do so at risk of being called a Nazi by not-very-good-lawyer trying to pass himself off as a professional commentator, but count your blessings; it’s hardly white-hot fire raining from the sky, is it?)








Posted by Tim Ireland at 6 January 2009

Category: Humanity, It's War! It's Legal! It's Lovely!, Tony 'King Blair

Next week Tony Blair will return from holiday and rush to Gaza and actually do his job as special envoy to the Middle East rush to the White House to collect not one but two medals for his stellar work in the use of troops, torture and tits against terrorism… and a sovereign nation by the wayside that was just asking for it.

BBC – Blair to get US Medal of Freedom: In his last week in office, President Bush will award the medal to Mr Blair, former Australian PM John Howard and Colombian President Alvaro Uribe. All three leaders had been “staunch allies*” of the US, particularly against terrorism, said the White House. (via)

The word ‘circle jerk‘ springs to mind, but let’s move on to that second medal…

Telegraph – Tony Blair chooses image on medal from George W Bush: Since he was awarded the Congressional Gold Medal by George W Bush more than five years ago for being a “staunch and steadfast ally” during the Iraq war, Tony Blair has failed to collect the gong. The former prime minister is, however, taking a keen interest in the medal’s design before it is specially made by the US Federal Mint. The spokesman declines to say which images Blair wants, but points out that it will be made to his specifications: “It is not a standard design. The Dalai Lama had his face on his medal.”

In my mind, the only way they could devalue the trinket any further with this charade would be to put Tony Blair’s face on it, go for the full circle jerk with the medal at the centre, and televise the money shot. The whole thing could be set to music.

– — — | — — –

COMPETITION: GUESS THE WORD(S)/IMAGE(S) TONY BLAIR HAS (FINALLY) CHOSEN FOR HIS CONGRESSIONAL GOLD MEDAL

As the BBC article notes; each Congressional Gold Medal is individually designed and minted and it took Tony Blair many years to decide on the words and images it would feature.

(Hm. Maybe he was stalling. Perhaps he was waiting for ‘history’ to kick in. Who knows?)

I am offering the choice of any available prize from the prize shelf to the person who comes closest in their guess of the word(s) and image(s) that actually appear on the medal.

A special prize will also be awarded to the most amusing guess/suggestion.

Entries will be accepted via comments (including b3ta), email, and/or links to bloggage.

Entries close on the 12th, or at the moment some spoilsport leaks substantial details.

Good luck to you.

– — — | — — –

[*Oi! Where’s Karimov’s medal?]

UPDATE (13 Jan) – That’s one medal down… but we’re minus the all-important money shot. Hang in there.








Posted by Tim Ireland at 24 December 2008

Category: Humanity

The Night Before Christmas (Tabloid Edition)

by Tim Ireland

‘Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the House
Not a creature was stirring, except for this louse;

The shocking news hung like a fart in the air,
That something caught knickerless soon would be there;

The MPs were nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of peerages danced in their heads,

But stalking the halls, and consulting his map,
Still came the intruder; this unwholesome chap,

Who sniffed at them all and their law-making chatter,
Who judged himself best to know which judgments mattered.

Now quickly he dashed as he caught a quick flash,
In pursuit of the knickerless, offering cash!

The moon came out next and then footprints on snow,
The knickerless attempted escape down below!

Then, round and down corners and what should appear?
A knickerless front! No! A knickerless rear!

Attached to that bottom, so lively and quick,
Was a knickerless target… that knew it was nicked.

More rapid than ever he pursued his game,
And he whistled, and shouted, and called the thing names;

“Now, Dasher! now, Runner! now, Zippy and Speedo!
You Scumbag! you Maggot! you Faggot and Paedo!

I know what you are and my bum’s to the wall!
Now suck on my! suck on my! suck on my balls!”

(Such messages mixed, and made on the fly,
Presented no obstacle; heaven knows why.)

So up to the House-top the runners they flew,
The unwholesome chap, and the knickerless too,

And then, in a twinkling, they fell off the roof,
Into the chavs and the have-nots and yoof!

The unwholesome chap’s eyes darted around,
As down fell the knickerless, down to the ground,

“Kick it!” he yelled, “Before it kicks you!
If Jesus were here, He’d be kicking it, too!”

A bundle of knives were then plunged in its back,
As the knickerless was bent down and facing the sack,

It eyes — how they darted! so startled! so trapped!
When facing the sack and this unwholesome chap.

(Its sad little face was then put on show,
And ironically entitled “Mind how you go.”)

The stump of its limb was chewed on by teeth,
Its ear was chewed off with some dead woman’s grief,

They chewed off its face and its heart and its belly,
They shook and they laughed when they watched it on telly!

They cheered and they paid the unwholesome chap,
For this freshly spun story of deeds and mishaps,

For the wink of his eye and the twist of his words,
And the signal that’s silent but needs to be heard.

He bowed to the crowd, and returned to his work,
(He works for himself, so he works for a jerk),

And laying his finger inside of his nose,
He waved about cash and where most of it goes,

Then sprang to his feet, and shot off like a missile,
To the thundering sound of a million dog whistles.

But I heard him exclaim, as he shot out of sight,
“Mob justice for all (except me) and good-night!”

Have a safe and merry Winterval, and please don’t drive if you’ve had a few. Cheers all.








Posted by Tim Ireland at 17 November 2008

Category: Humanity

I hereby dedicate the following post to all of the people who are (presumably for the sake of variety) screaming “Hang ’em all!” in defence of children this week:

Barnardo’s children in trouble campaign – hunting film

Barnardo’s: About our campaign… help us break the cycle








Posted by Tim Ireland at 17 November 2008

Category: Humanity, Old Media, The Political Weblog Movement, Tories! Tories! Tories!

1.

Independent – Facebook vigilantes identify mother of Baby P: The identity of the 27-year-old mother of Baby P was last night being circulated on the internet with the names of her boyfriend and the third man convicted of causing the child’s death, after online vigilantes began a campaign calling for violent retribution against them. An order issued by the judge who oversaw the trial of the woman and her boyfriend forbids details about them, including their names, photographs and addresses, from being made public. But yesterday the information was listed on unofficial news websites and social networking sites… Another social networking site, Bebo, removed the mother’s profile page after abusive messages were posted, while her Friends Reunited profile was also being circulated. The difficulties of policing the internet were highlighted when the mother’s name briefly appeared in a discussion thread about Baby P hosted by The Sun. The information was removed.

Some slack reporting from the Independent here; they’re not to blame for accepting Bebo’s version of events (it was an outside complaint that prompted the removal of this profile, not an internal decision based on detection of abusive comments, as this paragraph suggests) but someone somewhere really should have pointed out that this information was initially spoon-fed to the public by the Times and the Sun, who carried near-to-identical paragraphs that mikkimoose fairly describes here as “the information that screams ‘google me'”.

(I can’t show you that information yet without doing the same thing, sorry.)

That Bebo profile was the first step on the easiest path to all names, and both of these Murdoch-owned newspapers pointed the way in flashing neon letters.

Someone should be called to account for that act, be it an accident or defiance of the law…. and both newspapers will want to be especially careful not to give the impression that it was the latter:

“We are still barred from identifying the defenceless tot further – or naming the mother and her sadistic lover who killed him.” – The Sun

2.

Speaking of possible defiance of the law, the frequently-refreshed ‘libertarian’ Paul Staines (aka ‘Guido Fawkes’) claims to stick to the letter of the law (when sober, at least), and also has a well-earned reputation for switching on Blogger’s comment-vetting function whenever he finds himself in personal difficulty… but in this case, he refused to switch it on until very recently, despite his keyword-rich emotionally-charged posts being a prime target for anonymous dickheads wishing to name names in clear violation of a court order.

When confronted about this last week, Staines claimed that he was too busy to check every link/comment – (so switch on registration or switch off comments if you can’t handle the volume, you dipstick!) – and actually had the temerity to blame the BBC at one stage for an article they had not been ordered to remove from their archives, that really only serves to do damage when someone links the present state of affairs to that archived article (i.e. the kind of crap that Staines has allowed under his comments many times in the past few days).

Quick-changing to ‘law-abiding citizen’ mode just long enough to hit the BBC with a stick, Staines then claimed that he had been in touch with the BBC, and that they refused to remove the article. He then invited me to pursue the matter myself, as if I wouldn’t do this. Just for laughs, I asked Staines to pass on the details of the person he had spoken to so I could, as he put it, take it from where he had left off. This request was ignored, most probably because Staines was making shit up again and didn’t have a damn thing to offer me.

When alerted to the repeated use of this archived article by online vigilantes, the BBC did finally remove it late on Friday.

By contrast, the thread under this post by Staines hosted at least three ‘outings’, and the most overt of these was live on Staines’ site for 16+ hours yesterday… but comment moderation was not switched on until late yesterday or early this morning.

[Staines also inadvertently revealed during our exchange that he does indeed make comments defending himself while pretending to be somebody else, but now is not the time.]

3.

Paul Staines often doublespeaks himself out of difficulty and distances himself from material on his own website by claiming that ‘Guido Fawkes’ is a character, and his blog tabloid is written in the voice of that character.

Therefore, one must wonder if the outrage expressed here, here and here is based on genuine human emotion, or is instead of a bit of colour thrown in to enrich the character and land a few blows on Labour/Brown.

4.

While touching (briefly) on the issue of people possibly playing party-politics (a charge that notorious ambulance-chaser Iain Dale denies), dare I ask if it’s entirely in keeping with a Conservative view to suggest that the state should decide who does and does not deserve to have children?

(And, while we’re here, how would such a ruling be enforced? Photo-ID cards? Bedside scanners? Genital cuffs? Sterilisation?)

Ellee Seymour hangs her half-baked case on a quote from this article from Jon Gaunt, where that stopped clock actually opens his article by saying; “…it must never happen again that we allow an elected and unelected metropolitan elite impose their warped views and social engineering on our country.”

Tim Montgomerie read that article and branded it as; “Another reason why more needs to be done to promote the two parent family and the marriage bond.”

Ellee read that article and Montgomerie’s post and concluded that perhaps it was time for us to allow an elected and unelected metropolitan elite to impose warped sensible views and social engineering.

May Dog preserve us from lightweight ‘bloggers’ with heavyweight demands.

5.

For ‘bloggers’ and newspaper wage-slaves who may not be aware of what the word ‘moderation’ means, here is a definition:

Moderation (noun) – Avoidance of extremes of opinion, feeling, or personal conduct

Comment moderation most commonly involves the avoidance of extremes via deletion of extreme content and/or a quiet word off the record, or publication with a quiet word within the public conversation (that also serves as a warning to others). Very little of that is going on in newspaper websites, and none of it happened here, on the website of ‘leading blogger’ Paul Staines:

John Trenchard said…

bring back hanging… for the council fuckers who allowed this to happen.

as for the scumbags who actually did it – drawing, quartering and heads stuck on spikes would suffice for me.

of course , our political class will do none of this – and thus these baby murderers will get out , on good behaviour in about 7 years. (14 years “life” divided by the parole system)

November 11, 2008 11:01 PM

Of course, this particular ‘blogger’ is going to be blind to some extremes if he himself is expressing a desire for vigilante justice in the hands of “ordinary decent criminals”, but not even the left-loathing Staines would go so far as to suggest that this case justifies the death penalty for council/social workers… or would he?

(Sadly, there’s no telling; any action taken over this comment at this late stage could be a simple act of self-preservation, and there’s little that Staines says that can be trusted.)

6.

The Sun, meanwhile, is hosting a petition that demands “ALL the social workers involved in the case of Baby P” be sacked and “never allowed to work with vulnerable children again”.

a) This may look a tad extreme on the face of things, until you consider that Wade is probably calling for a high body count in order to avoid a further calls for a genuine body count. Think of it as a form of methadone for the mob.

b) Not that this gets Wade off the hook for her ongoing failure to recognise how stupid some people can be, especially when crazed with child-preserving blood-thirst; 1, 2

c) A quick look at the petition shows that it’s not of the credible variety, in that it only asks for a name and location. Testing this morning showed that the petition accepted two submissions from ‘Mr Made-Up Name’ from the same IP address, even after it was closed.

[MINI-UPDATE – The Sun’s web petition is now back online. There is no indication/notice why or when it was taken offline and later returned to service (without visible changes).]

d) George Pascoe-Watson (political editor of the Sun newspaper), was interviewed on Radio 4 late yesterday, and was asked by the host if their coverage was as helpful as it could be. You might want to put that coffee down before you read his response:

“Now, let’s not get carried away with an anti-tabloid campaign!” – George Pascoe-Watson

e) The Sun claims that “over 225,000 caring Sun readers have signed our petition to bring the people responsible for the tragic death of Baby P to justice”. Far be it from me to repeat myself, but this does not take into account the Sun’s readership (3 million or so), which puts apparent support for their (easily diddled) petition at around 6% among their readers.

f) And for those who doubt that some Sun readers may have other views/concerns, I offer this….

7.

After listening to George Pascoe-Watson enthuse on the subject of Sun readers, what they want, and how very important it is that they get it (now!), I popped by their website and noticed something under their ‘petition’ article.

Perhaps you can spot it, too…

Yep, according to the Sun’s own ‘most read stories’ data, this is what Sun-readers care most about, in order of reader-determined priority:

1. X Factor
2. Tits
3. Baby P
4. Sport
5. Tits

And today’s ‘most read stories’ table tells a similar story:

1. Funny pictures
2. Tits
3. Baby P
4. Sport
5. Tits

Oh dear… a consistent third place?

Somebody’s not thinking of the children.

Related bloggage:
Septicisle> – War on personal freedom, Baby P and weekend links
Liberal Conspiracy – Right wing confusion & bile over Baby P








1. Justin McKeating – Say ‘no’ to 42 days.: The House of Lords debates 42 days today and is expected to vote against it, but with the Prime Minister still insisting that he will push through the 42-day proposals, [Amnesty International] will keep on campaigning until it’s defeated once and for all.

Sign the petition. Pass it on.

2. AlertNet – 12 New Stomach-Turning Revelations About Sarah Palin: Palin has taken to smearing Obama. But it’s her own record that continues to yield alarming information, undermining her skills and credibility.

3. Web user makes his views known on the fine body work done by Import Image / iDesign in Walnut, CA. (Ta to Lawrence for the link.)

4. Telegraph – Alisher Usmanov to drop interest in Arsenal takeover: Arsenal shareholder Alisher Usmanov has been advised not to go ahead with a takeover of the club and is reportedly ready to sell his shares.

(Psst! We were chatting at the table the other night when Usmanov’s name came up. The youngest griglet asked who he was, and a certain 10-year-old was heard to reply; “He’s Dad’s Russian arch-nemesis.” I was impressed by the correct and necessary use of a modifier more than anything.)

5. Birmingham: It’s Not Shit – Ten things we found out at the Tory Party Conference: …it became obvious that Nadine [Dorries] didn’t really like blogging (apart from the way that it got her comments straight to the diarists of newspapers), and didn’t really do it anyway – she emails the “blogs” that are part of her “online diary” to a guy who does her website…








Posted by Tim Ireland at 24 September 2008

Category: Humanity, Old Media, Teh Interwebs

An alert popped into my inbox at around 3am this morning, letting me know that Julie Moult finally returned to work late last night (almost a month after this embarrasment), apparently by ‘researching’ the vapour-trail left behind by Finnish gunman Matti Juhani Saari and then adding fresh details to this Daily Mail article.

Actually, the edit timestamps and the author’s failure to know/note the difference between profile text and a “posting” suggest that Julie simply lifted some details from this growing Wikipedia entry and invented the rest.

Here, let me show you what I mean…

This is what the article claims:

One posting made five days before the shooting said: ‘Whole life is war and whole life is pain. And you will fight alone in your personal war.’ (source)

Oh, really?

1. It is not a “posting”; it is text that appears in his YouTube profile. Like his list of interests/hobbies (“Computers, guns, sex and beers”) it is not a post, article or announcement, but instead intended to be general background about the user.

So far we’ve only split a hair, but stay with me…

2. No mention is made of the fact that these are lyrics, and not the words of Saari himself. Yes, lyrics can be chosen and used a personal statement, but why not say that? And while we’re at it, why would the Daily Mail of all papers miss an opportunity to jump up and down and point the finger at people with long hair who make loud music? (See also: Saari’s chosen screen name, Wumpscut86, and this link from his small pile of 18 ‘favourites’.)

Again with the hair, but we’re almost there. Here’s the whopper…

3. Did Saari dramatically post this text to Teh Internets “five days before the shooting”, as this article suggests? No, he didn’t. The text has been in place for well over a month, as the following screen capture of the time-stamped Google cache clearly shows.

The man killed 10 people. FFS, why would anyone feel the need to invent drama?

Perhaps to capitalise on the tragedy and shift a few more units? I’ll leave you to decide.

screengrab of cache of wumpscut86 youtube profile

Speaking of capitalising on a tragedy, several YouTube users are cunningly adding ‘wumpscut86’ to their profiles and/or video details in order to capture a few extra viewers, so hooray for them.

One bright spark even went so far as to pose as Matti Saari, posting several of his videos under the profile name ‘Mydadhitsmymom’ and claiming “yea whats up its me the guy that shot the school – i did it for the lulz”. Hilarious.

Still, I invite you to take a look at the comments left under that version of the ‘Good BYE’ footage. Essentially, these people have just been trolled by someone who is as funny as cancer, yet I can’t help but wonder what they were thinking as they posted these comments under what most of them clearly thought to be the account of a man who had just killed 10 people and was, at the time*, lying in a hospital suffering from a self-inflicted gunshot wound to the head.

(*These comments were all made between 0930 and 1030 GMT.)

Were they hoping that Saari would be able to read their comments in the afterlife? If by some miracle he had lived and was then tried, convicted and imprisoned, did they expect him to login to YouTube and reply from his cell? It boggles the mind.

grab of comments submitted to wumpscut86 video hosted by mydadhitsmymom

(BTW, for those who are wondering, ‘kusipää’ is a Finnish word that’s used in much the same way that you or I would say ‘bastard’, ‘arsehole’, or ‘Hendren’. Literally, it translates as ‘pisshead’.)

Related:
Ingram 2.0 – Shooter’s YouTube account didn’t help








Posted by Tim Ireland at 13 August 2008

Category: Humanity

BBC – China Olympic ceremony star mimed: A pretty girl who won national fame after singing at the opening ceremony of the Olympic Games was only miming. Wearing a red dress and pigtails, Lin Miaoke charmed a worldwide audience with a rendition of “Ode to the Motherland”. But the singer was Yang Peiyi, who was not allowed to appear because she is not as “flawless” as nine-year-old Lin.

Telegraph – Beijing Olympics: Faking scandal over girl who ‘sang’ in opening ceremony: At the last moment a member of the Chinese politburo who was watching a rehearsal pronounced that the winner, a girl called Yang Peiyi, might have a perfect voice but was unsuited to the lead role because of her buck teeth.

Dear Yang Peiyi,

One day, one hopes, you may enjoy enough freedom to read the following:

1. You are beautiful.

2. This is ugly:

New York Times – In Grand Olympic Show, Some Sleight of Voice: By Tuesday, the Chinese news media had already pounced on the story, instigating a national conversation that government censors were trying to mute by stripping away many, but not all, of the public comments posted online.

Cheers

Tim Ireland








Posted by Tim Ireland at 11 March 2008

Category: Anne Milton, Humanity, It's War! It's Legal! It's Lovely!, The Political Weblog Movement

Bloggerheads – “Answer my questions, or the puppy gets it.”: I’m as appalled as Justin is… but not quite as shocked. The death of an innocent puppy doesn’t involve any tricky politics, so it’s an easy win.

Short version

Number of MPs who stood up for the notion that “the bearskin hats worn by the five guards regiments have no military significance and involve unnecessary cruelty”: 207

Number of MPs who stood up for the notion that “the Prime Minister [should] meet the UK’s moral obligations by offering resettlement to all Iraqis who are threatened with death for the “crime” of helping British troops and diplomats”: 79

Long version

Iain Dale:

Iain has gone in to bat for his old chum Ann Widdecombe and plugged her campaign “to persuade the MoD to stop buying black bearskins from Canada.”

You may recall that this is the same Iain Dale who, rather than join the campaign to protect/rescue Iraqi employees, instead decided to deliver this patronising lecture (as part of his ongoing mission to rewrite blogging history with himself at the forefront).

[Psst! The issue here for the government appears to be the lack of viable alternatives to bearskin. Perhaps Iain will be bold enough to suggest the use of fox skins instead. I’m sure they’d stitch together real nice, and the red will go well with the uniforms.]

Ann Widdecombe:

Ann is leading the charge on saving big cuddly bears, but has somehow failed to find the time to say or do anything about the human beings we have chewed up, spat out, and left to the mercy of roaming death squads in Iraq.

(Yes, I’m sure it’s terrible to be shot and then skinned while your corpse is subjected to “crude sexist comments”… but it’s equally unpleasant to be tortured with a power drill or simply gunned down in the street when the death squads are too short on time for such pleasantries.)

And while this campaign of Ann’s makes much of the “more than 200 MPs [who] signed a recent Early Day Motion calling on the government to switch to a modern and humane synthetic fabric,” here, she describes EDMs as a huge waste of time;

“I shall not miss the late nights and above all I shall not miss the EDMs. For the uninitiated that stands for early day motions which number thousands in the course of a parliament and have no more impact than a feather landing on a mattress, but which constituents take seriously and wish me to sign. Most of them call for open-ended funding for everything from varicose veins to hedgehog refuges.” – Ann Widdecombe

What a grizzled and bitter old hypocrite she is; no wonder she and Dale get on like a house on fire.

[Psst! That said, Iain Dale might want to consider Ann’s voting record on equal rights for homosexuals before committing to a post-opportunity friendship with ‘Widdy’.]

Anne Milton:

Milton signed the EDM to do away with bearskin hats. In fact, her Wikipedia entry once bragged that she was the first Conservative MP to sign this motion.

But Milton stalled on signing an earlier EDM in support of Iraqi employees until it was too late to sign (she actually had the cheek to claim the expiry of that EDM as her reason for not signing it) and – despite many reassuring noises – *still* hasn’t found the time to sign the latest EDM in support of Iraqi employees.

Again, I’m not shocked… just appalled.

UPDATE – Justin informs us that we can add Celia Barlow to the list, and offers this insight into Ann Widdecombe’s pick ‘n’ mix approach to humanity…

Chicken Yoghurt – Number crunching: And if you’re an ickle baby foetus, Ann’s got your back. If you’re an ickle baby foetus who grows up to be drilled to death by an Iraqi death squad or executed for being an Iranian homosexual, well, sorry but Ann’s got bears to worry about.








Posted by Tim Ireland at 11 September 2007

Category: Humanity

Independent – Anita Roddick, capitalist with a conscience, dies at 64

In this world, there are many forces that just are; it may be possible to change them, but there’s no sense in attributing personalities to them.

However, wherever one or more sentient beings has an influence, evil can and does exist, and is easily recognisable via any knowing attempt to corrupt life… typically, to gain money or power.

There is no doubt in my mind that Anita Roddick devoted her life to being an opposing and/or limiting force to this evil. That she engaged in capitalism to do this and gained money and power in the process made it easier for the supporters or servants of some of the most evil people on this planet to play the following game:

For any questionable judgement, for any minor infraction, for any surrender to market forces (most notably this one), they would stand, point the finger and scream; “LOOK! She’s not PERFECT!”

No, she wasn’t perfect, and neither did she claim to be… but you’d be surprised how common this little deceit is and how often it works.

And, sadly, due to the curious libel laws we all live by, we can expect to see much more of this kind of thing directed against Anita Roddick now she has passed on; the small amount of protection her reputation will have in death will consist of the company/brand that survives her… and those who continue to support her and what she stood for.

You can count me among the latter because, if you’ll pardon the knowing pun, she’s worth it.








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