01-17 July, 2003

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Date
20030701
Only Interesting to Bloggers
Time
08:44
Why we need Echo* (*new name coming soon).

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Date
20030701
Doing The Rounds
Time
08:48
A new headline to suit those items that you’ve probably already seen a million times, but that I need to blog for my own reference:

The Illustrated Catalog Of ACME Products

That note on the fridge door.

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Date
20030701

Time
08:51
27-Year-Old Man Poses as Teenage Girl. He’s over 6 feet tall and weighs 180 pounds, but has still managed to convince people that he’s a (very ugly) teenage girl – and has taken shelter with a number of families under this guise.

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Date
20030701

Time
08:56
Finally, a message of hope and fellowship from the stars.

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Date
20030701

Time
08:59
Overpriced but quite cool vintage sideshow banners (link via Ultimate Insult).

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Date
20030701

Time
09:02
I’ll be signing up for the 2003 Blogathon as soon as the back-end lets me.

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Date
20030701

Time
09:03
Bloggers Gain Libel Protection (but only if they live in the States). Turns out that this is a conversation after all. Cindy Cohn, legal director of the Electronic Frontier Foundation, said:

“One-way news publications have editors and fact-checkers, and they’re not just selling information — they’re selling reliability. But on blogs or e-mail lists, people aren’t necessarily selling anything, they’re just engaging in speech. That freedom of speech wouldn’t exist if you were held liable for every piece of information you cut, paste and forward.”

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Date
20030701

Time
09:12
Roy Taylor Ministries presents American Pie and the Armageddon Bible Prophecy.

And I looked, and behold a pink carnation and a pick-up truck, and upon the pick-up truck one sat like a lonely teenage broncing buck, having on his head a thorny crown, and in his hand a coat he borrowed from James Dean. Or something like that.

Hmmm. I’ll have to take a closer look at this. Time to refer to the Annotated “American Pie” page….

Wow, how about that? Mick Jagger is Satan! Now it’s all starting to make sense!

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Date
20030701

Time
09:23
Heh. A Microsoft Word version of a certain dossier was published online. Microsoft Word keeps quite comprehensive revision logs that anybody who downloads the file can dig into. Similar documents are now published in PDF format.

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Date
20030701

Time
09:29
Israel acknowledges running secret detention centre. Prisoners are kept in black, windowless cells. When they ask where they are, they are told: “On the moon.”

And, presumably, that their name is now ‘Alice.’

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Date
20030701

Time
09:33
Jim Carrey run down by Stephen Hawking. The Sun is there.

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Date
20030701

Time
09:35
I’m sure that Howard Dean’s a good man and a solid candidate, but I really wish that he’d taken the time to blog properly. Now every politician with dollar signs in their eyes is going to take one look at this and decide that Dean’s faux-blog is the model to follow.

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Date
20030701
Tim Yeo: Campaign Hijacker
Time
10:25
Well, how about that? Tim Yeo has actually taken action, asked a question that nails down a date, and received an answer. August is the promised delivery date. Knowing the folks from Tony Blair’s communications unit, the exact date is probably the 47th of August, but at least we have something beyond vague guestimations such as ‘in the new year’ or ‘very soon.’

The interesting thing is that this question was submitted on Thursday 26th June, the day after I requested (as part of a very kind offer) that he ‘ask a question in parliament designed to nail down an actual delivery date on a viable service for Tony Blair’ (see Bloggerheads archives for Wed 25 Jun).

See? I told you he reads his emails.

Pity he doesn’t answer them.

Applause for the action. A mighty big ‘yah-boo-sucks’ for the ongoing hypocrisy.

Thinking that perhaps Mr Yeo was a technophobe, I gave up on email and called his office yesterday on the telling-bone. I left a message. I left my home number. Did I get a reply? No.

Now, of course, we get more column inches for Mr Yeo and still no recognition for the core campaign that actually drove this forward.

I’m happy about the result, but I’m still mightily pissed off with the attitude, so if Tim Yeo thinks this is enough to calm me down, he’s very, very wrong.

An apology is still due. And I’m going to continue to fight for it.

UPDATE – Thanks to Rog for the scan of The Mail on Sunday. More pictures will follow soon. Today, I’m publishing Tim Yeo’s phone numbers and email addresses on the Tim Yeo : Campaign Hijacker page and the Tim Yeo weblog.

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Date
20030701
Big Brother 4
Time
10:28
You know, I came *this* close to actually watching Big Brother last night after hearing whispers that the new inmate Lisa was really a man.

Then I realised that I didn’t give a damn either way, and spent the evening watching lousy documentaries instead.

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Date
20030701
Something Awful
Time
11:57
If you’ve turned up here from the Something Awful forums, can you please send me details of the specific thread where the linkage is? My referral stats won’t feed me the info, and the search function won’t work (yes, I’ve paid) and I’ve hunted and poked around, but simply cannot find the bloody thing. It’s probably just another mention of Mustard Man, but I’d like to know all the same. Ta.

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Date
20030702

Time
08:41
The Funjunkie competition is starting to heat up. The challenge is to show your devotion by sending in a picture including you and their name. The prize is a digital camcorder, and girly body parts are enjoying a late run.

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Date
20030702

Time
08:45
Aggravate your hangover with the Headacher. Don’t be afraid to play with the pull-down menu. There are some spectacular concepts in the collection that will make you want to stab your eyeballs with a pencil, and I’d hate for you to miss any of them. (Link via Ultimate Insult.)

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Date
20030702
Animal Kingdom
Time
08:50
Mutilated cat cases continue in Denver and public reaction to the slaughter of eight puppies in Arcata has led to the arrest of two brothers. Meanwhile, a huge, gelatinous sea creature washed up on the shore is baffling Chilean scientists.

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Date
20030702

Time
08:56
Web firms choose profit over privacy. Most of them do their level best to convince/fool you to opt in, but some companies take the opt-out list and sell it regardless of customers’ wishes. Everyone’s getting spammed anyway, so who’s going to know, right?

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Date
20030702

Time
09:02
Poll suggests that 52% of Americans believe the US has found clear evidence that Saddam was working closely with al-Qaida. I say ‘suggests’ because they only polled 1,000 people. Still…

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Date
20030702
Only Interesting to Bloggers
Time
09:07
Businesses use blogs to help get their name out there. Still very limited take-up in the commercial sector. Honesty scares some people. Most marketing managers also consider Adwords to be a form of search engine optimisation, so the full benefits of blogs completely pass them by.

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Date
20030702

Time
09:09
Ah, this explains the minor traffic spike resulting from a sudden rush of searches yesterday for Michael Carroll. It was either a bunch of journalists looking for an angle or extra paragraph on this story, or a bunch of readers reacting to same:

16-year-old wins lottery.

UPDATE – This may also have something to do with it:

Lottery winner fined for benefits fraud

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Date
20030702

Time
09:18
Honest observation or digitally-altered pot-stirring? When in doubt, listen to the rhubarb. Most folks are taking this at face value and reacting pretty much as you woulkd expect, but I found at least one chap amongst the linkage who plans on doing a little fact-checking. Well, actually, I suspect he’s really calling to enjoy a minor rant. We shall see.

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Date
20030702

Time
09:31
Overheated sperm getting you down? Shield your precious seed with the protective wonder of Sauna Pants. This site contains some irresistible Engrish.

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Date
20030702
Telemarketers
Time
09:35
Telemarketing victim strikes back by calling back. About 100 times. Heh.

“I just called them every five minutes and let them know that, no I don’t have a crack in my windshield, because this seems to be something they are very concerned about.”

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Date
20030702
Tim Yeo: Campaign Hijacker
Time
09:37
A new image has been added to the gallery today, entitled:

“Conservative Beefcake”

I’d really like to know what’s going on in Tim Yeo’s mind.

Does he think this storm will blow over? Maybe he’s of the opinion that said storm is taking place in a teacup.

All I know is that I deserve an apology and I’m not going to leave the man alone until I get one.

Really, is it that difficult? The man has made at least one apology before (regarding Tory failures on the BSE crisis).

Here, listen to Tim Yeo saying ‘sorry.’ The word didn’t stick in his throat. The heavens didn’t fall. What’s stopping him from turning this minor disagreement into a major web presence?

I really would like to know.

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Date
20030702
My 10th Wedding Anniversary
Time
10:09
Tomorrow is my 10th wedding anniversary. Last year I said something nice about the missus. This year, it’s your turn.

Bloggerheads may seem like little old me operating independently out of my web-shed, but without the ongoing backing and inspiration that this woman provides, it probably wouldn’t exist at all.

Remember, this is a woman who gave me full and unwavering support when I went out and marched for peace (again and again and again). Who understood why I had to go out in the wee small hours with Out Of Order signs or a handful of playground chalk. Who took it very well when I called her from Trafalgar Square to let her know that I’d just suffered a minor collapse, so if she saw it live on TV, then she shouldn’t worry.

Above all, this is a woman who is incredibly tolerant of the time I spend glued to my computer.

Show your appreciation with a short email today via the following address:

kate AT bloggerheads DOT com

Thank you.

(Note – Emails will not be blogged. They’re for the missus and the missus alone.)

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Date
20030702

Time
10:47
That image of Lisa from Big Brother (see yesterday’s bloggage) is currently No.1 on the Lycos Viral Chart. Resulting traffic spike? As far as I can tell, about 3 or 4 people searching for ‘bloggerheads.com’ in Google.

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Date
20030702

Time
15:24
Damn, I missed Canada Day. Again. Oh well, there is this (thanks, Simon).

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Date
20030703
The Political Weblog Movement
Time
07:53
There’s going to be very little bloggage today, but I will take a few moments to send you in this direction:

Political weblogs: spread the gospel

Thanks to everyone who sent email yesterday. It was and is appreciated.

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Date
20030704
Told You So
Time
08:34
To everybody I’ve had a drunken conversation with in the last two months:

1. Sorry about your cat.

2. Remember how I pointed out that in 1997 stark new warning labels were introduced on cigarette packets in Australia and a cottage industry sprang up overnight selling ‘amusing’ fake labels to cover them up? Well, stark new warning labels have been with us in the UK for about 8 weeks now… and a cottage industry has sprung up overnight selling ‘amusing’ fake labels to cover them up:

FakeFags.com

FagTags.com

The former company hopes to market themselves via an affiliate scheme. The latter seems to think that sticking their labels all over the walls of the London Underground is the way to go.

UPDATE – Michael Pastor was kind enough to email details of a site that lets you download free samples. Not that you couldn’t make them yourself with MS Word in about 2 minutes…

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Date
20030704
Telemarketers
Time
08:36
How Farkers deal with Telemarketers.

In other news, Telemarketers are seeking new ways of invading your life now national ‘do not call’ list is in place. They just don’t get the message, do they?

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Date
20030704

Time
08:38
Wyoming man fired from Home Depot for criticising the CEO on his website.

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Date
20030704
Riding High on Blogdex
Time
08:44
Yesterday’s Guardian article on political weblogging is currently #3 on the Blogdex chart. Here’s their list of people talking about it, and here’s another list courtesy of Technorati.

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Date
20030704
When Monkeys Run Amok
Time
08:49
Escaped circus monkey invades pizzeria and vandalises ladies room.

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Date
20030704
Flash Games
Time
08:51
Peeball! A genuine challenge, and more fun than flushing halfway through and trying to beat the cistern. (Link via FunJunkie.)

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Date
20030704

Time
09:02
Bush Asks Congress For $30 Billion To Help Fight War On Criticism.

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Date
20030704

Time
09:04
Go Joe! See the missing G.I. Joe episodes and photos of G.I. Joe in WW2.

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Date
20030704
Oldies but Goodies
Time
09:08
The Rocky & Bullwinkle Horror Picture Show. I’m sure I remember seeing this back in 1998, but every good effort deserves a revival now and again.

Speaking of which, Tom Watson’s ‘Teens!’ page is enjoying a solid comeback (including reported discussion on the Popbitch boards and – strangely – inclusion in the Wimbledon commentary).

Cue many, many abusive emails from outraged individuals – most of them over 30 – who genuinely think that Tom is ‘for real’ in trying to get down wiv da yoof.

Tom is now posting extracts from the best of these at his regular weblog, but I think he might be a little misguided in blaming the Yeo crew for the bulk of it. Yeo’s not that smart, and people in general are that stupid.

If that sounds a bit harsh, consider that 8% of of Londoners say ‘take me home’ to a cabbie, before promptly failing to remember their address.

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Date
20030704
Corporate Fun and Games
Time
09:30
Boycott Blockbuster and dig deeper into The McGriddle. I saw these monstrosities when I was in Boston. They have maple syrup baked into the bun. Baked. Into. The. Bun.

Eggs, bacon, sausage – and maple syrup? I’m sorry, but just the thought of it makes my stomach turn.

Incidentally, you may remember the whole ‘you can’t take photos in Starbucks’ fuss recently. Well, I tried to take a picture of the McGriddles range on offer, and this is the result.

Why is the photo so blurred? Well, just out of shot is a till attendant taking a good hold of my elbow and telling me that I’m not allowed to take photos inside McDonalds.

Silly me, I forgot to write a letter to the central office and ask permission first.

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Date
20030704
Feedback Friday
Time
12:48
After over a year of banging my head against the brick wall of business, I shifted my attention to politics. I now see this area as ready to snowball. I’m talking to some folks what I trust to offer a set-price solution for MPs who need a blog, so I can move on.

Or, rather, back.

From next week onwards, my focus will return to e-commerce.

That is all.

(Oh go on, then. You can make a comment about that if you really feel you need to. It is Friday, after all…)

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Date
20030705

Time
17:11
Tom’s Teens page: ‘just another’ viral campaign? Charming. Someone’s nose is out of joint.

UPDATE – Actually, it may very well be mine. Oh well. I’m still trying to work out just what is going on with this sentence:

“On first reading, we thought it was just another viral campaign from search-engine optimist-cum-Internet prankster Tim Ireland, whose production credits appear on the site. But no, Tom Watson is a real live politician. So yes it is another viral.”

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Date
20030707
Does What It Says On The Tin
Time
08:23
bathroomsurvey.com

www.deadmalls.com

www.hairyback.com

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Date
20030707

Time
08:24
New internet service allows citizens to create dossiers on government officials. If you don’t talk with us, we’re going to talk about you…

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Date
20030707

Time
08:26
Doped-up rats run amok in Queensland police station after digging into display of speed and pot.

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Date
20030707

Time
08:30
BBC reports rumbles Amsterdam spammer. His world is now crashing down around his ears. Go and watch the fall.

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Date
20030707
Flash Games
Time
08:36
Save the little space-dude’s home. Poke around for the clickable links. You’ll work it out.

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Date
20030707
Christianity Watch
Time
08:38
Lightning hits preacher moments after he calls to God, asking for a sign.

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Date
20030707

Time
08:43
Tom’s Teens page was featured on Pg. 2 of Saturdays’ Financial Times. They gave the wrong URL. This caused many people to (finally) discover Tom’s 404 page (hint: if you only get a standard warning, try this.

(UPDATE – Sorry. Used wrong link on ‘this.’ Something more useful is now in place.)

Another newspaper called as a result. They were convinced that Tom’s site had been hacked.

Now Tom’s running a competition, challenging web folk to design a better 404 page. This entry is my favourite so far.

Oh, and on the subject of hacking, please look both ways before you cross this street.

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Date
20030707
The Political Weblog Movement
Time
08:54
Despite the New Focus, I will be attending the following Voxpolitics Seminar:

Can Weblogs Change Politics?

I urge anyone interested to RSVP today to help them nut out the numbers.

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Date
20030708

Time
08:25
Rejoice! The Guardian is to be published in the U.S. in a weekly magazine format. I’ll be plugging them every step of the way.

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Date
20030708

Time
08:29
Transfer money, make friends and get a transcript of your entire online relationship as part of your monthly bank statement with the miracle of communication that is CashMail.

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Date
20030708

Time
08:37
Bush administration claims that a return to nuclear testing may soon be necessary. A new generation of nuclear bunker-busters is in development, and the Nevada desert looks ready to rock again.

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Date
20030708

Time
08:43
Cashing in on a celebrity death with Adwords? Now that’s class all over.

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Date
20030708
Riding High on Blogdex
Time
08:46
The Open Government Information Awareness site (I blogged some news on this yesterday) looks rock solid in top position. If they need a revenue stream, they should sell GIA identification cards. I’d buy one.

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Date
20030708
Only Interesting to Bloggers
Time
08:52
TypePad is in beta-testing and Dave Winer talks about the ‘Blog This’ feature on Google’s new toolbar and AOL’s entry into weblogs.

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Date
20030708
Christianity Watch
Time
08:58
morons.org: “Yes, Virginia, there are fundamentalist religious extremists in Europe.”

Guardian: Evangelicals plan next anti-gay campaign.

Isn’t there already a puritanical church or two that these people can go to?

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Date
20030708

Time
09:03
The Internet Is Shit. But we don’t have the evangelists to thank for that – or even the chattering masses. The biggest problem is ignorance on the business front. This is where everything from pop-ups to banners to spam originates from. It’s also why 99% of corporate web presences are a complete waste of space.

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Date
20030708

Time
09:10
Bargain shopper busted with fabricated barcode labels. The first of many such stories, I assure you.

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Date
20030708

Time
09:13
This site for the Paranormal & Ghost Society is quite possibly the ugliest site I’ve ever seen, but it contains many joys even before you get to the core content. Have a read through disclaimers that are scattered throughout the site; the man is a legal genius.

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Date
20030708
Hulk Smash!
Time
09:19
1. Keyboards for people with fat fingers.

2. Cheap Hulk knock-off toy found to have enormous penis: The Sun is there.

3. The Hollywood Sites, Hollywood URLs article is drawing quite a few visitors who are lost and cannot find the site for the new Hulk movie.

UPDATE – Check out this newly introduced alternative URL for the movie. Nice to see that someone’s paying attention. Now perhaps they can read the rest of the bloody article. They need categorised and indexable info like this on their own site, for a start.

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Date
20030708
Flash Games
Time
09:30
Take pot-shots at Clippy.

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Date
20030708
Tim Yeo: Campaign Hijacker
Time
10:52
Ongoing Tim Yeo activity is being shifted over to the Tim Yeo weblog. Because the man clearly has no plans to get back to me and the last thing I want is Tory porn on my front page every other day as a result.

The TY weblog will continue to stalk this little man, right up until the next election if needs be.

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Date
20030708

Time
17:21
If you’re going to tattoo your child, ensure that it’s done by a company you can trust.

Heh. I can feel the heat of outrage from here.

Pure common sense tells me that it’s a hoax, but for those who need something concrete, Snopes already has a listing for this.

More? OK. The related Metafilter thread not only reveals who the culprits are (scroll about halfway down this page for details), it also rumbles them for stealing the design from this site.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030709

Time
07:35
Hey, how about that? I’m older than Jennifer Lopez. I wonder if she’ll go out with me?

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030709
It’s War! And Somebody’s Telling Porkies!
Time
07:36
Bush administration admits claim that Saddam tried to buy uranium was slightly misguided. The cat’s on the roof…

In other news, the dossier sideshow continues here in the UK.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030709
Anybody But George
Time
07:42
How To Rig An E-lection In The United States

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Date
20030709

Time
07:42
More on AOL belatedly jumping on the blogwagon:

Burning Bird has fond memories of what happened when AOL users were unleashed on Usenet.

How can I say this without offending AOL users?

Hmmm.

OK, so the ads may make an attractive case. The free CDs may have an attractive case, and after 12 of them arriving in your mailbox I suppose you can’t really be blamed for trying just one to check it out. And yes, AOL is almost impossible to remove from your systems once it’s installed.

However…

Staying with AOL after being online for more than 3 months is a lot like living with your parents beyond the age of 30.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030709

Time
07:48
Stephen Hawking visits strip club. The Sun is there.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030709
Stories That Mean Nothing
Time
07:50
Simon Cowell has said he could turn Prince William into a pop star. The new series of Pop Idol must be just around the corner. Here’s hoping it does as dismally as the latest version of Big Brother.

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Date
20030709
Naughty Bits
Time
07:53
1. After 19 years of silence, paralyzed man speaks. He used his new-found ability to make a pass at the nurse.

2. Was the defendant’s mother scratching her scalp with her middle finger or making an obscene gesture at the judge?

3. Thinking of taking the kids to see Stonehenge this year?

4. Over 70 rude words downgraded from ‘taboo’ to ‘slang’ by Collins English Dictionary. There are still 16 very rude words left over. See if you can list them all.

(This is not a competition, I’m actually trying to trick you into writing a list of dirty words just as the boss is walking past…)

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030709

Time
08:03
Jason Alexander’s KFC contract terminated after his meeting with PETA. KFC claims there’s no connection.

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Date
20030709

Time
08:05
8-year-old charged after torturing kitten.

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Date
20030709

Time
08:06
Check out the reversible matchbox gallery (link via Ultimate Insult).

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030709
Feedback
Time
08:09
Ed Neal took a precious minute from his busy schedule (which mostly involves wondering what the girl next door would look like with her head on a stick) to give the following advice:

“Don’t sweat the petty stuff.. and for god’s sake.. DON’T pet the sweaty stuff!!…”

Thanks, Ed.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030709
Photoshopping
Time
11:55
Go to Google and search for ‘photoshopping’ for mucho bigness.

UPDATE – And to celebrate, here’s a nice picture for you….

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030710
It’s War! And Somebody’s Telling Porkies!
Time
08:31
Tony Blair says:

“I should tell you I have absolutely no doubt at all that we will find evidence of weapons of mass destruction… programs, no doubt at all.”

Oh, OK. So long as there’s no doubt at all…

Donald Rumsfeld says:

“The coalition did not act in Iraq because we had discovered dramatic new evidence… we acted because we saw the evidence in a dramatic new light – through the prism of our experience on 9/11.”

The cat fell off the roof. Watch this space.

UPDATE – Please note that if Labour do lose the next election, it won’t be because of MP rebellion. It will be because of the lack of such rebellion when the chips were down.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030710

Time
08:38
I’m a creature of habit. I’ve bought (and subsequently worn to death) endless pairs of Converse All-Stars for well over a decade. But I won’t be buying them anymore.

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Date
20030710

Time
08:41
Cover up your rude bits at the beach with wholesomewear.com

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Date
20030710
Riding High on Blogdex
Time
08:43
BBC: CIA warned Bush administration that claims about Iraq’s nuclear ambitions were not true months before they used them to make their case for war

More below under ‘Porkies’. Boy, I’m really starting to regret acting like a naive peacenik…

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030710

Time
08:47
Beer found in can of Diet Coke.

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Date
20030710

Time
08:50
Blog. From. Spaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaace!

Welcome… to the worrrrrrrrrrld of tomorrow!

etc…

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030710

Time
08:52
Store owner on assault charge after spanking a boy for teaching his parrot to swear.

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Date
20030710

Time
08:53
McDonald’s restaurant closed after routine inspection. The staff had been changing expiration dates on the milk.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030710
Video
Time
08:55
Watch Bugs Bunny and Donald Duck do their bit for the war effort.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030710

Time
09:02
Yay! Glamour pet photography rules!

(UK readers may be expecting something a little different. Prepare yourselves for disappointment… or considerable relief.)

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030710

Time
09:23
Tom’s Teens page: BBC gets joke, sees point. Oh, I do love starting the day with a big win.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030710

Time
10:43
Dissertation Could Be Security Threat.

“They’re worried about national security. I’m worried about getting my degree.”

Heh.

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Date
20030710

Time
14:18
Someone else is out an about with the PayPal Email Scam. Two versions of this have arrived in my Inbox over the last hour.

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Date
20030710
2003 Blogathon
Time
14:36
I’ve got my first sponsor for the 2003 Blogathon.

Raise a drink to Whitey, who’s kicked me off with a generous $50.

It starts at July 26, 06:00 Pacific Time. That means (I think) that I have to leap from the starting gate at July 26, 14:00 GMT.

24 hours of blogging. Just imagine it.

If you plan on watching, please do blow the dust off your wallet and sponsor Bloggerheads in the 2003 Blogathon.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030710
Photoshopping
Time
15:01
Dave Bowman Kenobi prepares to reboot.

There’s a big’un over at B3ta, plus two more 2001/SW crossovers from today and yesterday:

TIE-Pod

Mystery at Tycho

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030711

Time
08:33
File sharing bad. You bad. Summer come. Want share files? Share fun way with FunJunkie Summer Burn. Is good.

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Date
20030711
Oldies But Goodies
Time
08:34
Howard Stone found that he could make his van backfire at will. So he rigged a camera in the rear of the van to capture people’s reactions to the beastly explosions. A classic.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030711
Riding High on Blogdex
Time
08:39
Crouching Tiger, Raging Ping Pong (streaming Windows Media file).

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Date
20030711

Time
08:42
Someone should talk to this woman about eggs and baskets.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030711

Time
08:43
Visit Yesterland.com, a form of digital afterlife for discontinued Disneyland attractions.

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Date
20030711

Time
08:45
The Astor (Rubiks) Cube. This is just great. People pulling together to create something amazing and subversive, yet ultimately harmless. I must remember to send a copy of this to the Space Hijackers.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030711
Follow Up
Time
08:50
The Guardian interviews Terry Wallis. Who? He’s the chap who woke up from a 19-year coma the other day and almost immediately made a pass at the nurse.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030711

Time
08:52
Criminals and geniuses do their best work in their 30s. Mainly to impress chicks. Criminal geniuses, on the other hand, are above such petty concerns.

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Date
20030711

Time
08:59
Watch George Bush watching elephants doing what elephants do to make little elephants.

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Date
20030711

Time
09:04
New Battlestar Galactica series set to suck.

Richard Hatch (Apollo) has been fighting for a new series of Battlestar Galactica for years via battlestargalactica.com, but it looks like he and the fans have been screaming into a vacuum. A ‘re-imagining’ (read: ‘misguided rip-off’) is on the cards and Hatch & the boys are less than happy about it.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030711
Steady On…
Time
09:12
Saddam Hussein arrested in Israeli-occupied Golan Heights.

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Date
20030711

Time
09:14
Marvel Scraps Plan for Comic Book Princess Di. No mutant Lady Di in spandex? Awwwwwww….

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030711

Time
09:15
The Pentagon’s plan for tracking everything that moves.

Last night, it struck me that a jolly good choice for the fourth plinth in Trafalgar Square would be a statue of George Orwell.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030711

Time
09:19
Political science instructor investigated by the Secret Service for telling his students to email elected officials with the words “kill the president, kill the president.”

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Date
20030711

Time
09:22
A fabulous reaction To Tom’s Teens! page. Nice to see so many people having fun with it. Smiles are hard to come by these days.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030711
Search Engine Optimisation
Time
10:31
Google is definitely making some major changes to its back-end and ranking algorithm. I’ve noticed a lot of stuff going on right now that hints at big changes in the wind – as I did just before the Google/Yahoo! deal went through.

And, as with the back-end cleanup that preceded this landmark deal, Bloggerheads’ results have subsequently gone up, not down.

‘Photoshopping’ shot up the other day. I just noticed a big improvement to ‘out of order’ searches, too (up from #10 to #2).

The holy grail of generic search results, ‘religion’, now places the Universal Church of the Interactive Network at an all-time high of #128 in Yahoo!

It’s going to be an interesting summer.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030711
Photoshopping
Time
12:56
Behold the Dawn of Wookies!

Part One is kind of average.

You want to check out Part Two, you do…

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030711
2003 Blogathon
Time
13:00
Rich from FunJUnkie has chipped in with an added $24 of sponsorship. You can throw more money my way by clicking here.

All proceeds from my little corner of the Blogathon will go to Amnesty International. I’ve got a kind of plan for the full day of bloggage, too:

24 Hours, 48 Questions

You ask, I answer. I’d like to be able to bring a form of FAQ to life from the activity, but don’t feel you have to stick to the boring stuff. Instead of ‘Frequently Asked Questions,’ think ‘Seldom Answered Questions.’

Priority will be given to sponsors (so be sure to include your sponsor name when you submit a question). To ask a question, just send an email via this link. (This will send emails into a special folder that I promise not to look into until 2:00pm GMT on July 26th.)

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030711

Time
16:20
Yay! A site dedicated entirely to all the hands that get chopped off in the Star Wars saga. There are a lot of them. Except in Episode I, which has none. No wonder it sucked.

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Date
20030711

Time
16:53
In case you were wondering, the Star Wars Photoshopping Project started 227 days, 6 hours and 10 minutes ago with this seemingly harmless post at B3ta. Just in case you were wondering.

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Date
20030711

Time
17:06
Finally, a candidate America can believe in:

Tony Blair for President! You know it makes sense.

UPDATE – Big version oif this image is being shown over at B3ta.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030714
It’s War! And Somebody’s Telling Porkies!
Time
08:33
20 Lies About the War. One of the cheekiest, used primarily to counter growing protest: ‘Iraq’s oil money would go to Iraqis’

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030714
Riding High on Blogdex
Time
08:36
‘AOL Journals’ To Bring Blogs To Millions. There goes the neighbourhood.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030714
Too Much Time On Their Hands
Time
08:38
A semi-comprehensive list of goofs from Gilligan’s Island.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030714

Time
08:41
Albuquerque man faces trial for hitting wife with pillow.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030714

Time
08:43
Man who wins $73.6 million says he want to “finally get me a tractor with brakes.”

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030714
Follow Up
Time
08:48
Family feud swirls around coma man. Welcome back, son. By the way, your daughter is now a stripper, but your wife has been busy having other children to replace her.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030714

Time
08:53
PCs hijacked by Trojan programs to deliver porn ads. The same Trojan may also be contributing to the delivery of those recent Paypal email scams.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030714

Time
09:00
Holidaymaker takes down killer roo with an axe. Now there’s an adventure holiday concept for you. Load the ute up with axes, chainsaws and harpoons and hit the outback for a genuine ‘kill or be killed’ scenario. With roo-burgers for afters, of course. Killer Cockatoos will be next, you just wait and see.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030714

Time
09:05
Police inform mother of son’s death via voice mail.

“You. Have. Three. Messages. And. No. Son.”

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030714
Does What It Says On The Tin
Time
09:08
Strike up a pen-pal relationship with an inmate via writeaprisoner.com

A genuinely hot prospect was dug out of the files by Roddy (who emailed today to ask very nicely if he could link to The Star Wars Photoshopping Project).

Inmate Susan Smith is a god-fearing soul who likes rainbows. She considers herself to be ‘sensitive, caring & kind-hearted’… and is currently serving a life sentence on the charge of murder.

UPDATE – It seems that Susan is getting so much attention that a press release is called for. Turn out she’s famous.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030714

Time
09:16
Recall Notice: Beware of exploding toads.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030714
The Political Weblog Movement
Time
09:17
Please note the new time for the Can Weblogs Change Politics? seminar at Westminster tonight:

14th July, 7:00 – 9:00pm

Grant Committee Room, House of Commons

Get there early if you want a seat folks. It’s going to be crowded.

UPDATE – ZDnet: Weblogs help create a political hot spot

UPDATE 2 – The weblog seminar is currently the top news item in the BBC Technology category. (Thanks, Martyn…)

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030714
2003 Blogathon
Time
09:22
Tom is thinking of signing up for the 2003 Blogathon. It won’t be the first time an MP has worked around the clock (no, really) but the idea of taking policy suggestions and debating one each hour certainly sounds new to me. He wants your suggestions. Go and chip in.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030714
Tony Blair’s Email
Time
10:37
A further baby-step. The following announcement has been added to the Downing St site:

“A facility to allow you to email the Prime Minister will be made available during August.”

Interesting that they’re also starting to refer to it as a ‘facility’ instead of an ‘address.’

1. Do you think they actually read my specifications?

2. If the new service follows these specs to the letter, should I send them an invoice?

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030714

Time
10:57
Man Gets Life Sentence For Sucking Boys’ Toes. 15 years without parole. Martin points out that this amounts to 1.5 years per toe. However, there are 20 sets of toes to take into account. On the other hand, the sentences are being served concurrently rather than consecutively, so that means…

Oh, I don’t know. Can we drop the maths and instead spiral into a Pulp-Fictionesque debate about foot massages?

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030714

Time
12:03
See William Katt and Kurth Russel read for the parts of Luke and Han at Star Wars: The Screen Tests.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030715
Does What It Says On The Tin
Time
08:55
www.boredofthebeckhams.com

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030715
Riding High on Blogdex
Time
08:55
PDF: Unfit for Human Consumption. Agreed. It’s probably the most useless format available for publishing online documents – but it makes them look ever so pretty.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030715

Time
08:57
Vicar headbutts photographer at wedding. The Sun is there.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030715

Time
08:58
Lightning strikes woman’s tongue stud. She can count herself very lucky that she didn’t have piercings in more (ahem) exotic places.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030715
Christianity Watch
Time
09:00
The Evolution Irritation Site is has ‘facts,’ ‘truths’ and Jackpots galore. Jackpots? Don’t worry, you’ll see. Enjoy.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030715

Time
09:02
Announcing the winner of the FunJunkie Digital Camcorder competition (insert drum roll here).

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030715
Flash Games
Time
09:06
Yes, we have no weapons of mass destruction!

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030715

Time
09:08
Chewbacca delivers Episode III spoilers. Damn, that reminds me… I meant weeks ago to start a petition to get Star Wars Kid a cameo in the movie. Oh well.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030715
The Political Weblog Movement
Time
09:25
The Can Weblogs Change Politics? Seminar headed up by VoxPolitics went very well indeed. Andrew Orlowski still managed to bitch about it even though he was over 5,000 miles away at the time and remains completely without a clue. Tom from Plastic Bag was there, though – and he’s got a few words to say about Andrew this morning (plus a photo of Tom Watson in the pub).

Tom, Dan and I were a little late getting to the Westminster Arms. We had a little drinkies on the terrace first to celebrate Dan’s victory in the 404 competition (I should be able to get the new 404 page live sometime soon).

Interesting times on the terrace…

You may remember a few weeks back that I got in touch with Lembit Öpik’s office about the weblog format. They said ‘no,’ which surprised me. However, after cornering the man himself on the terrace (it was either talk to me or jump in the Thames) I can tell you that he personally find the idea quite interesting.

Watch this space.

UPDATE – Richard Allan has a short report on this, and quite an interesting idea. Adopt an MP. Get in touch. Help them understand it. Those that end up wanting it as a result are prime weblog material. Those that don’t we can do without anyway.

Oh, and here’s a selective blow-by-blow by Nick Barlow. Heh. The use of the word ‘disintermediation’ actually drove me from the room. I took a full 5 minutes to recover.

Finally, for your reference, here’s a comprehensive rundown of what was said by the main speakers and a few pictures from the event.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030715

Time
13:34
BBC reports on last night’s political weblog thingie.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030716

Time
12:24
Meet Mark Andrews, aka Chicken Man. Chickens changed his life, a life that is now doubly rich in that he has married Chicken Woman.

Chicken Man’s hobbies include:

1) Riding the Big Red Truck

2) Sitting in the truck window

3) Steering the truck

4) Scratching for bugs and worms

5) Taking a nap in front of a fan

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030716

Time
12:27
Cook County sheriff’s officer Ronnie Baffield caught two men engaged in a rather personal fashion in some shrubbery. Did he arrest them? No. He offered to let them go if they painted his house and got him a good deal on a computer. The officer has since been charged with bribery and official misconduct, and a good thing it is, too. The whole deal of goods/service exchange lingers dangerously close to socialism.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030716

Time
12:31
Cafepress offers print-on-demand books.

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Date
20030716

Time
12:33
Work for eBay. It’s fun.

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Date
20030716

Time
12:34
Two men charged with manslaughter following the death of an Oxford University student. He was flung from a giant replica medieval catapult ‘in a 30 metre arc’ – but, sadly, this was a good few metres short of the distance required for him to reach the safety net.

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Date
20030716
It’s War! And Somebody’s Telling Porkies!
Time
12:39
Bush shifts blames for Iraq lies. And so ends the promised era of responsibility. They’re busy trying to line up scapegoats over here, too.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030716
Follow Up
Time
12:44
Web Site Asks Susan Smith To Drop Ad. I grabbed a print-out of the personals page in question yesterday, for my own personal reference. I didn’t know she was famous when I first blogged it, I was simply charmed by her love for rainbows.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030716
Yet Another Lame Quiz
Time
12:47
What threat to the Bush administration are you?

I’m morally deficient. And dangerous.

BTW, I just got an email from Rainbow Heron, who writes:

“I was just listening to NPR and all of a sudden they started talking about weblogs and MPs. They were talking about Tom Watson’s decision to blog and then mentioned you by name (Tim Ireland) as being a help to him in setting it up. They also briefly mentioned Richard Allan and the Adopt a British MP campaign.

“Just wanted to say, congratulations, you’re on the radio in America.

“Also, the first time I ever heard (or rather saw) of you was on NBC Nightly News way back during the war. They briefly showed that soft pron pic of Bush & Blair in the flag together. Thought it was interesting but they didn’t give you credit for it. In fact, there was no mention of where it came from.”

Tch! Typical. Still, it was out there doing its job, and that’s what counts I suppose.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030716
Flash Thingies
Time
12:54
The difference between Italians and Europeans.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030716
Search Engine Optimisation
Time
12:58
The Yahoo/Overture deal has a lot of folks expecting Yahoo to drop Google. I don’t see this as a bad prediction, but I do think it would be a bad decision. Yahoo was losing users by the truckload when Google was an alternative (rather than being fully integrated). I think they’re going to return to equal or greater losses with a central database driven primarily by paid listings.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030716
SEO: The Holy Grail
Time
13:19
Today, The Universal Church of the Interactive Network is 127th in Yahoo for the generic search term ‘religion’. That’s an all-time high, folks. Convert today and bring us one step closer to the top.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030716
The Political Weblog Movement
Time
14:06
Hmm, here’s an interesting notion. Marc’s local MP is Phil Willis (who has committed the cardinal sin of using frames and therefore hiding most of his content from people who may care about it). Phil is the father of Rachel Willis.

Who she? She girl who, until recently, was face of AOL.

AOL has just announced the inclusion of weblog technology in the next version of its service.

I’m sure that, given time, even the most clueless PR hack will be able to put the pieces together.

On a lighter and brighter note, I met Carolyn Bennett on Monday night and she has very kindly furnished me with linkage.

Carol’s quite excited by the concept of blogging (her site already includes rolling updates, so she’s pretty much halfway there). If you live in Canada and ‘have the technology’ as they say, then perhaps you should get in touch and make an offer of help. Armed with Movable Type, there’d be no stopping her.

UPDATE – Oh, and there’s this from yesterday’s Guardian… Political blogs: a brief guide

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030716

Time
14:59
Interns, office relationships and email:

what could possibligh go wrong?

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030716
Photoshopping
Time
16:53

“I find your lack of faith disturbing…”

Big one’s over at B3ta.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030717
The Political Weblog Movement
Time
07:55
Here’s a list of every blogger who attended the recent seminar at Westminster.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030717

Time
07:57
Some 19th century textbooks for you to enjoy (link via Ultimate Insult).

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030717
It’s War! And Somebody’s Telling Porkies!
Time
07:59
Why This Bush Lie? Part 1 (Hint: It wasn’t his first.)

Salon.com also nails down a whopper (registration required).

UPDATE – Sky suspends journalists over bogus story. The ‘launch’ of a cruise missile was staged from a docked vessel. Presumably, a wobbly cardboard set was not available at the time.

BTW, keeping troops in Iraq is costing us £150m a month.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030717
Follow Up
Time
08:02
Snopes.com really is on the ball lately. That intern breakup email blogged yesterday has not only been confirmed, it is quoted in full here. Have fun.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030717
Christianity Watch
Time
08:04
Bishop charged over fondling woman in casino. Being highly intoxicated in a gambling den wasn’t quite enough of an expression of freedom, it seems. You can also add profanity to the charge-sheet, apparently he used ‘some nonbishop type language.’

Also, a New Mexico family is suing the local church over a funeral which did not go as expected. The priest allegedly said the deceased was ‘only a middling Catholic who was going straight to hell.’

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030717
Photoshopping
Time
08:08
London Mayor Mayor Ken Livingstone has offered a £100,000 reward to anyone who can invent a solution for keeping the underground cool. There are some outstanding ideas being aired over at the BBC, and the influence of the photoshopping community is clear. (Here’s one I made earlier.) Kids will be learning about us in art classes within the next decade, you just watch.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030717

Time
08:16
How to handle a call from a suicidal person.

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Date
20030717

Time
08:16
Yay! It’s a genuine four-legged chicken.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030717
Blogathon 2003
Time
08:21
A mystery donor has so far made two very generous pledges of $25, but I must admit to not recognising the nickname used. You know who you are, so please send me an email so I can let everyone else know.

If you haven’t sponsored yet, get the crowbar out and open your damn wallet.

Also, if you haven’t submitted a question for the day (anything you’ve ever wondered about me or Bloggerheads), then feel free to submit a question now.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030717
Universal Church of the Interactive Network
Time
08:25
The call-to-arms yesterday resulted in at least one convert. Welcome to the fold, Rich.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030717
Back to Business
Time
08:28
I really think I’ve made the right decision – and at the right time. The whole Political Weblog thing looks set to tick along happily without me. And in the right direction. Job done; time to move on.

Added, on the e-commerce side of things, there is lots and lots and lots of good to be done. My main competitor seems to have a few funny ideas about ethics. I’m looking forward to blowing him out of the water with an honest and sustainable approach to search engine optimisation and online marketing in general.

The main benefit for you guys will be new and valuable content produced by people who can afford it (because they need your attention and genuinely wish to earn your respect).

Hell, I may even (finally) be able to convince one or two of them to open up and talk to us like human beings. Weblogs for MPs set an excellent precedent for this, but to sell the idea I do have to use wanky boardroom-speak like ‘in this case, the person is the brand.’

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030717

Time
10:37
OK, so this chap goes to test drive a Porsche a couple of weeks ago, at Chilham Sports Cars in Kent.

The car was advertised as having a full service history etc. but when he turned up, the car was a load of crap and they didn’t really give him the time of day.

Before this, CSC had a wonderfully comprehesive site at chilhamsportscars.co.uk – now there’s a new one with some important information for consumers at chilhamsportscars.com

The latter is well worth some Google-juice, IMO:

Chilham Sports Cars

Beware the voice of the publishing consumer.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030717
It’s War! And… ahhh, you know the rest by now.
Time
13:12
Bush’s Cover-Up Precedes the Scandal. Again, the path seems to lead back to ‘old-faithful,’ the so-called dodgy dossier. Convenient, and typical of our so-called special friendship.

Now, while we’re on the subject, let’s have a little fun:

Pop along to Downing Street’s website and type ‘dodgy dossier’ into the search engine there. Top result is… yep, you guessed it. Type in ‘fabrications’ and you get the same result.

Entertaining enough in itself, but let us explore further…

Type in ‘Iraq lies’ and the top result is this document claiming that the ‘Oil for food’ program is improving life in Iraq.

Type in ‘warmonger’ and the top result is Tony Blair’s statement opening the Iraqi debate back in March.

I’m sure there’s more. Go and play.








Posted in Uncategorized | Comments Off

17-30 June, 2003

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Date
20030617

Time
08:30
My Domokun Kettle arrived this morning. I plan on using it at the office. When I get one.

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Date
20030617

Time
08:31
Man stabbed to death during chess game. Police say men ‘may have been drinking.’

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Date
20030617

Time
08:33
OK, so only 33 items were really stolen from the Iraqi National Museum (not counting the loot already in place at the British Museum) but I’m pretty sure that the 350 animals missing from Baghdad zoo weren’t spirited away into a cellar for safekeeping.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030617
Riding High on Blogdex
Time
08:39
Hatfields and McCoys sign truce.

Is my memory playing tricks on me, or had a truce already been signed decades ago?

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030617

Time
08:41
Homeless serving as billboards. They’re paid in pizza, soda and ‘a few dollars.’ I’ll bet you more than a few dollars that they’re paid significantly less than your average human billboard.

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Date
20030617

Time
08:44
18th century emoticon found.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030617
Delays, Delays, Delays
Time
08:45
Man stalks woman 30 years after taking her to the prom. He told police he had been trying to get the ‘nerve up’ to ask her out.

Man spends 5 years awaiting trial for murder. He was aquitted in 15 minutes.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030617

Time
08:49
What is it with drive-throughs and crime? This undercover officer spent close to a month dressed as a McDonald’s employee. Keeping a sharp eye out for naughty behaviour in customers’ cars, he made six arrests and issued 29 citations. The (law-abiding) owner of the restaurant didn’t know anything about it, and now he’s as mad as hell.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030617

Time
08:55
Interaction with people from different walks of live and access to multiple channels of communication is widening our personal political spectrum. For me, the main effect of the Interwebnet is an overwhelming disappointment that none of the related graphs are shaped like a willy.

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Date
20030617
Christianity Watch
Time
08:59
Cherbear’s Den is absolutely the final word in Christian children’s literature and fine illustration. The Kids Cave and Teen Caverns warrant special attention.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030617
The Political Weblog Movement
Time
09:05
The Times reports on Tom Watson’s weblog. This link requires paid registration from dirty foreigners, so here’s the guts of it:

“With perhaps half a million people in the UK sharing their thoughts via personal weblogs, it is remarkable that elected politicians are failing to use the medium to communicate more vital matters with their constituents. They could publish when and what they wanted, offer instant comment on the day’s news, and push the issues that concern them. Yet only Tom Watson, MP for West Bromwich East, is currently doing so.”

I’m hoping to change this situation very, very soon.

UPDATE – Take time out of your day to welcome Richard Allan MP to the wonderful world of weblogs. I was very impressed by the very early post about Blog Aims.

BTW, I found this via my now-daily use of Technorati, which brought up this post by Simon Willison. Simon notes with a knowing smile that Richard is a Liberal Democrat spokesman on information technology. Perhaps he can have a word with his colleague Lembit Öpik, who is aware of the technology but has yet to bite the bullet.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030617

Time
12:25
Like me, you’ve probably received a few variations of this email from the ‘invincible spammer,’ with wonderfully endearing passages such as:

”Why are we so successful?? 1. Because, simply put, NO ONE can bring us down! And 2. Because we and because when you get right down to it, PEOPLE ARE LIKE SHEEP, and if the “sheep” get enough e-mail shoved at them, the sheep WILL become customers!”

On closer inspection, these repeat emails seem to be part of what is known as a ‘Joe Job’ (where someone sends spam while posing as another web user in order to get that user into trouble). Folks in news.admin.net-abuse.email seem to think so, too.

In fact, given that it taunts the user so blatantly and follows this with a comprehensive list of contact addresses and personal phone numbers – and targets one of the few spammers to actually make the news (Richard Schueler: 1, 2) – I’d say this is a pretty fair bet.

Then again, it could very well be the world’s cheekiest double-bluff.

The ‘victims’ (myrxbiz.com) are, after all, able to proudly claim that they run the ‘#1 online pharmacy affiliate program’ and still keep a straight face.

Sure, I could follow the money by doing a WHOIS of all the URLs linked in the mail or maybe chase up who runs the 1-800 numbers you have to call to ‘unsubcribe from this genuine opt-in list,’ but life is too short.

If anyone comes across a site obsessive enough to nail this one down, do please drop me a line. I’d love to see how the whole thing turns out.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030617
Flash Music Video
Time
14:09
OK… Spain. Have we done Spain yet?

Viva el pop geek!

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030617
The Political Weblog Movement
Time
15:48
Technorati tells me that Richard Allan is already enjoying fresh linkage from Al and Lance. Richard has also been kind enough to blogroll me. Can you feel the love, brethren?

I’d also like to introduce you all to the freshly formed weblog of James Mills, Conservative Councillor for Standlake, Aston & Stanton Harcourt.

Both Richard and James have been added to the Why Politicians Need Weblogs page.

While we’re on the subject, do check out the eye-straining but thought-provoking ‘e-Democracy exchange’ over at Big Blogger. The recent Cluetrain-inspired post is dead-on.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030617

Time
16:15
Ahahahahaha! A great find by Tom: The Italian arm of Powergen is available at the following wonderful, wonderful URL. Amazingly, no-one thought to add a dash where it would do the most good:

www.powergenitalia.com

This is not only highly embarrassing for Powergen; it has also robbed a potential penis-enlarging spammer of a valuable and downright catchy domain name.

(And before you threadwaste… it’s already been posted to B3ta 1,263 times. Don’t bother. Bloody hell – and now I see that it was in Friday’s NTK. How the hell did I miss that?)

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030618

Time
08:41
Earn yourself 10 grand by pimping your girl friends.

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Date
20030618
Does What It Says On The Tin
Time
08:42
www.bootlegactionfigures.com

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030618
Riding High on Blogdex
Time
08:45
We’re all a bunch of lying sickos. We all steal, too. Best quote from the former article?

“So which is the bigger threat to America? The big companies or the criminals at the computer?”

I think the biggest threat is, and always has been, people with their head so far up their arse that they can see what’s for breakfast tomorrow. I found it quite interesting that, after this regular ‘Memo’ piece, he didn’t have time for ‘The Most Ridiculous Item of the Day.’

UPDATE – Here’s another blogger’s thoughts on Mr O’Reilly’s rant, which links to an even better point-by-point post by yet another blogger. Follow your nose.

UPDATE 2 – This MSNBC article is even better. It intertwines with blogger’s comments, and even uses Technorati to guide you to more recent information. I’d like to see more of this – and not just in articles about the Interwebnet.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030618

Time
08:52
“I’m gonna get Truckasaurus on yo ass, boy!”

Business owner chases and runs over robbery suspects in his Humvee. (Includes wonderful picture and even better reader survey: ‘Should a business owner who ran over a group of robbery suspects in his Hummer face charges?’)

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Date
20030618

Time
09:02
Shit! Look at the time!

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030618
Frequently Arsed Questions
Time
09:03
“Why can’t I make comments on your weblog?”

Because I want you to make comments on yours. Oh, you don’t have a weblog? Well, now we’re getting closer to the point…

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030618

Time
09:09
The great Blogspot Exodus. Dean’s pushing the hard stuff. Well worth the move, IMO. I’m thinking of doing the same (but I’ll still be hiding my archives from Google). Only problem is, I blog like a bloody madman. There’s months and months of material to shift over to any new format, and even with a clever macro device of some sort, it would still take about 6 weeks to modify and transfer all of the old data. For now, I think I’ll stick to being somewhat of an anachronism. Unless, of course, anyone wants to pay me to take 6 weeks off work…

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030618

Time
09:16
From a journalist who was at last week’s blog conference

Companies get into weblog act:

“The best blogs don’t just deliver authoritative information; they resonate with the personalities of their creators.”

Well said.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030618

Time
09:26
‘Virgin Mary in hospital window’ claim poo-pooed by the Vatican.

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Date
20030618

Time
09:29
Man keeps wife captive for two years in impenetrable fortress fashioned from boards, nails, combination padlocks, and quite a few sheets of aluminium foil. What, no duct tape?

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Date
20030618

Time
09:32
George Bush looks to be gearing up for the next election: a new program is set to expand the internet-voting capability of military and overseas voters. If you’ve read Stupid White Men, you’ll know why this is so significant.

Incidentally, just before the war, Michael Moore’s forums were down ‘temporarily’ for ‘technical reasons.’ Now the forums have been completely removed from the navigation bar like they never existed at all. This, we can assume, has also been done purely for ‘technical reasons.’

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030618
Tony Blair’s Email
Time
09:49
Still no word from Tim Yeo. Tomorrow, it will be a full week since I emailed him. Don’t make me get angry, Tim.

BTW, some good did come of the lame stunt. A statement came from No.10 that went beyond the ‘in the new year’ promise that we’re all so familiar with. Someone, somewhere, let slip with the promise of delivery ‘in the coming weeks.’

I plan on holding them to that.

So, do you think that I should give them 2, 4 or 6 weeks before cutting loose again with a fresh clue-by-four? Emails to the usual address.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030618
The Political Weblog Movement
Time
11:23
Here’s someone who just started a blog and three or four posts in he asks his MP to do the same:

“These are people that represent us. We voted for them. I think this is a fantastic way for people to have access to them and get to know them a bit better. I have no idea how my MP usually votes, or where he stands on most issues. If I read his/her weblog frequently, I think I’d be in a better position to judge whether I wanted that person to represent me.”

This certainly is turning out to be a jolly week.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030618
Telemarketers
Time
11:26
“Hello, is Mr Bacon there?”

This cute article includes a link for people who want to go on a no-call list in North Dakota. There are links to a bunch of other state-by-state services here. Why no national service like we have here in the UK? What am I missing?

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030618

Time
12:25
Yet another new blog tool. Like Blogdex, only faster. Thanks, Rich.

Pretty snappy stuff, but it lacks one important feature that makes Blogdex the Daddy – the ability to roll over a charted link to see a range of comments from different linkers and also click through to a page that lets me see a more comprehensive breakdown of who said what as they linked.

Did you get all that?

Sorry, someone’s using a weed-whacker outside my window, and it’s very hard to think straight WITH ALL THIS BLOODY NOISE!

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030618

Time
14:40
Taliban staging a wilful comeback. I saw a bit of news on this last night. The U.S. still has troops in the region, but I’m not sure if they’re the best and brightest. One marine who was interviewed by the BBC said:

“The locals like to come out and take pop-shots at us.”

The filthy beasts!

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030618
The Political Weblog Movement
Time
14:47
Plenty of link love is rolling in for Richard Allan. Ernie the Attorney enhanced his link with some excellent comments:

“This blogging thing isn’t for every politician. Some politicians have specialised handlers that control the press, or at least control it sufficiently to ‘get their message out.’ They don’t worry if the press doesn’t get into detail because there is no detail being given out. If you have a simplistic message, then you sure as hell don’t want to post it on the web where people can see it for what it is. Blogs are as interesting to those types of politicians as sunshine is to cockroaches.”

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Date
20030618
Spamwatch
Time
16:14
CP Direct managed to shift $74 million in penis/breast/ego/etc. enlarging pills, and would be operating still had they not decided to also illegally charge consumers’ credit cards.

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Date
20030618
Tony Blair’s Email
Time
16:39
I’ve just checked my ‘Sent Items’ folder and it looks like Tim Yeo has until about midday tomorrow to get back to me by email before a full week has passed. Right now I’m standing by and ready to start ‘shopping.

You don’t necessarily have to apologise, Tim – just practice what you preach and answer my bloody email!

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Date
20030619
The Political Weblog Movement
Time
00:07
The following is a reply to an email questioning a number of matters relating to political weblogs. The person I’m replying to is quite right to play devil’s advocate, but to prove my point I pretty much had to go public with the reply.

The original email (that I’m not at liberty to blog) questioned the motives of politicians who might in future set out to abuse this channel in the same way that those loveable rascals from Richards Interactive did with the Raging Cow fiasco. It also questioned the true effectiveness of ‘mere’ online support, citing the recent failure of Gary Hart to secure that all-important nomination. Howard Dean may have garnered some beefy support of ye olde-fashioned new-meedja nature, but Gary Hart is currently the only U.S. politician with a genuine weblog. You want proof that it’s genuine? Try the tone of this:

” In the coming days I will be returning the many contributions that were made to this website and to our effort. I know that many of you have many charities you are supporting. If you choose to do so, you might consider sending all or part of your original contribution to me to one of the several very worthy efforts I support…”

If I’m wrong or even just kind of weak on any front, please feel free to comment. On your own damn weblog.

Sorry there’s no permalink. If enough people ask nicely, I’ll draw up a static page.

Cheers all.

Note – This entry will be forward-dated to midnight (once it passes) to simplify my archives. I have some rather dull and quite demanding work to do tomorrow, so this could well be the only post for the 19th. Sorry about that.

Hey (insert name here),

As it happens, I’ve been thinking about quite a few of the points you’ve raised (just in the last 24 hours) because the recent appearance of another MP’s weblog just raised the bar.

I’m not sure if I blogged this point or sent it off to a marketing mailing list, but I have acknowledged that there is a honeymoon period that will not last. The only other MP to get that ‘hey, look!’ effect automatically will be a Conservative MP.

After this, it will be a race to engage. A good thing, then, that engagement is the key.

Distancing myself from the creation of Tom’s blog, then, I can honestly tell you that I have become more interested in him as a person. Granted, I’ve had the rare privilege of facetime with the man, but a good blog can have this same effect.

Because I have established a relationship with Tom, I’m prepared to lend him my ear from time to time about matters that may or may not interest me. (If you’re married, I’m sure you can relate.)

As a result, I’ve read quite a few documents and pretty much ‘sat in’ on a few debates that I otherwise wouldn’t have given a damn about. A simple morphing of the ‘press release’ section into a faux-blog does not achieve this. Who’d visit? Who’d care?

The same goes for my blog – and you’ll have to trust me when I tell you that I have experienced the flipside. When I went into a recent spiral of political turmoil and introspection, I noticed my regular readership dropping considerably. There was far too much of ‘I think this!’ and not enough ‘Hey, isn’t this interesting?’

Talk of kittens has its place, and plays an important role.

We as readers have to be given a sense of person as well as purpose. Radio and television have allowed past politicians to express aspects of this in the past and – granted – many may have succeeded purely because of their ability to ‘play’ on their chosen communication channel.

Churchill understood the value of radio and played it well. It has been alleged that he actually had a voiceover stand-in for many broadcasts – but no-one was free to talk back to their radio.

Kennedy made great TV. This kept that supreme arsehole Nixon at bay for a time, but those small voices who would perhaps mention that they worked as an intern but were mostly paid to give the JFK blowjobs had no way to speak out (if, indeed, there were a time when their mouths weren’t full).

The closest precedent I can cite is the advent of moveable type leading to the publication of Bibles for everyone. Not just media owners (sorry, better make that ‘religious leaders’).

Suddenly everyone was free to read and interpret this all-powerful book. And publish their own thoughts on its true meaning.

Some of the biggest opinion formers of this time where known as ‘pamphleteers.’

We, as bloggers, are the pamphleteers of the 21st century.

Added, the blog system is self-correcting. Even if Google discounts them (a paranoid claim by a complete arsehole that has recently been refuted) people have had a taste of what they can offer. They will seek out an aggregator of a similar nature if they are robbed of it via their usual channel.

Blogs give everyone a voice. And a willingness to listen. When it counts.

A politician is not a god. Or even a demi-god. They need help to make things happen. I’ve seen this happen in some small way on Tom’s blog when he took on the local store with a litter problem and in many other ways on my own site.

It can also happen in a larger sense, as when folks search for info on air gun laws and are drawn via Google to Tom’s posts on the matter.

But if we don’t give a damn about Tom as a person, then we’re not going to get off our arse for him, now are we?

It also has to be added here that nothing really happens as a result of a mere link or search result.

But…

People exposed to ‘exclusive’ information in any shape or form often feel empowered enough to tell others about it. Not just by email, not just via their blog; but in real life as well.

If the information proves to be valuable, then these people draw an audience. A real-life audience. An audience that listens.

They knew first about this. They warned you about that. They’re worth listening to. This is how one small spark can spread to people actually willing to do something beyond committing to the Jedi religion for a laugh.

Another ‘but’…

I’ve tried to drive a few things forward on Bloggerheads, and it’s only the core audience that actually does anything. If what I try to do is too damn commercial or somewhat misguided, then I’m usually questioned or corrected (gently) on these matters.

If I try to do something Right, suddenly I find myself with new core members. Funny, that.

I’ve got to tell you, this is the best moral compass I have ever come across.

Being in the marketing game (maybe one evolutionary step up or down from the political game) I’m often prone to corruption.

Now I simply can’t afford to take that risk – but I’m enjoying greater benefits than I ever have before. And. I. Fucking. Love it!

Now I can simply float an idea to see who wants to make it a reality.

Now I can engage people all over the globe and actually make things happen.

But only if I strike the right chord.

There’s this feeling you get when you first encounter the Interwebnet. That ‘wow, millions of users at my fingertips’ feeling that leads to so many misguided missives about politics, religion, or the latest way to enlarge your penis.

Most of these are drowned in everyday noise and die a deserving death, but those that matter do rise to the top.

A human voice cannot be faked (and even if it can at a level enough to fool some, this deception is sure to be mentioned by those who are a little smarter about such things).

The result?

This is honest, unedited information, but open to comment that can lead to the growth, or destruction, of any given idea.

The more reasonable and/or altruistic the idea, the more likely it is to succeed.

The catch?

The idea – and the person delivering it – have to be pretty damn engaging and worthy of our trust.

If they aren’t, well, we’re sure to hear about that instead.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030619
The Political Weblog Movement
Time
00:10
Al has, as suggested, blogged his letter to his local representative asking them to get blogging.

Sorry, I forgot to use the word ‘blog’ there.

BLOG!

Happy now?

I’ve yet to do the same, but as I’ve already emailed, called and hounded Sue Doughty’s office for months on this matter, I fear any new messages may be taken out of context. They’d probably start with ‘Oi!’ and go downhill fast from there.

(For pity’s sake! Her office is 10 minutes away from my webshed, and I can pretty much turn up there at a moment’s notice. Can she not find the time to at least talk to me about this?)

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030619

Time
00:21
It’s not often that El Reg will place a plug so blatantly, but here, it’s well-deserved. As Scott notes, £171 ain’t much – but it’s a start.

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Date
20030619

Time
08:38
Wow. Now every day can be May Day. I’m just about to post this to the Urban75 forums.

“Hey where did all these people come from? Wait a minute – where did everybody go?”

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Date
20030619
It’s War! And We’re Ready To Believe Anything!
Time
08:43
Place not your trust in common sense:

A third of the American public believes U.S. forces have found weapons of mass destruction in Iraq.

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Date
20030619
Voice Of Experience
Time
08:49
You may wish to keep the following in mind:

It is not a good idea to teach your spell checker dirty words.

I got into the habit a long time ago of clicking the ‘Add’ button instead of ‘Ignore’ if a non-dictionary word cropped up here or there (this saves me time if I wish to use non-dictionary words like, say, ‘blog’).

However… because I have been known to use filthy language in the past and have out of sheer habit added an unsavoury word or two to the dictionary, yesterday I came *this* close to sending an email warning that: ‘there are sections that may need to be felched out.’

The danger is there. You have been warned.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030619
The Political Weblog Movement
Time
08:54
Take a sneaky-peek into the life of an MP:

Questions to the PM: The Limelight Lottery

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Date
20030619
Tony Blair’s Email
Time
09:46
This is a picture of Tim Yeo. It will change before your very eyes in just over two hours from now. Unless, of course, he gets off his bum and emails me before then.

UPDATE – The Guardian is at it again. Check out the following back-handed acknowledgement:

“Tim Yeo, shadow trade and industry secretary, last week followed a legion of cyber bores in pointing out that Tony Blair does not have a public email address.”

Legion are we? Boring is it?

“Like most good political japes, Yeo’s stunt scores because it exposes a genuine weakness.”

Ex-squeeze me? Bloggerheads exposed this weakness months and months and months and months ago. And that was only step one. But obviously this doesn’t count because it’s just another sodding website.

If it weren’t for the push from Bloggerheads and support from readers (including one or two MPs), Blair’s communications team would not be moving on this at all. At all.

Eight months of my life hijacked by a Conservative with a bloody Hotmail address. I’m getting increasingly upset about this.

Tim Yeo is an asshat. And he eats children’s eyeballs.

(I know I’m an hour early with the first pic, but dammit I’m angry.)

Tim Yeo wants to be involved with the project? Fine. Then he should be prepared to get naked. A lot.

He wants publicity? He’s going to get it in spades.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030619
The Tim Yeo Project
Time
12:02
Right, there you have it. A week has passed. Tim Yeo, the man so concerned about the PM’s lack of email address, can’t even answer his own bloody email.

He doesn’t even have a website. But we can soon fix that.

UPDATE – Yup, we sure can. Tim Yeo – The Weblog is live. That took about 5 minutes. About the same amount of time it takes to set up a Hotmail address. I feel so dirty.

A week is a long time in politics. This time next week, search results for ‘Tim Yeo’ are going to be interesting to say the least.

Far be it from me to steal material from another website, but this just has to be said:

I’m about to get 21st century on his ass.

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Date
20030619
A Blog Is Born
Time
13:31
Hooray! Long-time Usenutter ickle sheep has just started a blog. You’ll like ickle. We’ve shared beer on many occasions. It’s not easy with only one straw, but we get by.

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Date
20030619
Tim Yeo: Campaign Hijacker
Time
15:53
A special page has been created to acknowledge Tom Yeo’s grand contribution to the Tony Blair email campaign. The first nude image is already live. When will the nonsense end? When I get due credit for work done to date – and an apology from Tim Yeo – on the Conservatives website and in at least one major newspaper.

Lesson to be learned: If you mess with a turtle, expect to get flippered.

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Date
20030619
Flash Music Video
Time
17:06
JPEG Baby is only getting about 500 views a day at the mo, but perhaps it’s worth considering a suitable replacement for Terry Wogan. Now, let me see, who would make an excellent candidate…

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Date
20030620
The Political Weblog Movement
Time
07:43
Whoa! Cool your jets, people.

I was worried this might happen. Ickle has started a weblog on behalf of his MP. I’ve actually considered this as an option to push the whole MP weblog thing forward, but caution is required.

If there’s a sudden rash of weblogs ‘on behalf of’ MPs that show what they should be doing, then this could very well work – but if the only story that reaches them has a negative spin (e.g. ‘Weblogs Attack MPs’), then that’s all they’re going to want to know about weblogs and they’re going to run a mile.

If you’re going to do this, do try to show your fluffy side, folks. Help them to understand weblogs. Make them want a weblog. You may also want to link to Richard Allan and Tom Watson in the nav-bar so they can see what a real MP weblog looks like. Above all, be nice.

Unless, of course, the MP in question is, say, a hijacking hypocrite who’s stolen 8 months of your work for his own benefit. In which case, feel free to go completely bonkers. Who am I to say no?

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Date
20030620

Time
07:52
Scott never learned Oatmeal Box Pinhole Photography at school. I did. (Nerny-nerny-ner-ner!) In fact, I went to a school for gifted children, so we were trusted to (*gasp*) actually make our own box.

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Date
20030620
Clue-By-Four Required
Time
07:56
Oh, FFS. Some idiot company just hassled groovymother.com for using the word ‘clue by four’ because – wait for it – they own the trademark and are ‘in the process of bringing that product to market.’

They’re sure to be after me next. There’s quite a few indexed references from Bloggerheads in Google’s database and countless others in my archives.

Well, good luck to them. I have the feeling they’re going to be their own best customer.

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Date
20030620

Time
08:08
U.S. Rep. Mark Foley targets nudist summer camp for teenagers. There’s more info about the camp in this article by the New York Times (requires registration).

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Date
20030620

Time
08:13
Police shut down little girl’s lemonade stand. She didn’t have a temporary business permit. Seriously.

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Date
20030620
Murdoch is a Bastard
Time
08:15
Media bill under threat as Lords warm to ‘Murdoch’ amendment. Hurray for the House of Lords! May Dog bless one of our few remaining safety-valves.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030620
Tim Yeo’s Hotmail Account Terminated
Time
08:23
Oh dear, whatever can this mean?

This Message was undeliverable due to the following reason:

Each of the following recipients was rejected by a remote mail server.

The reasons given by the server are included to help you determine why each recipient was rejected.

Recipient: rthontonyblairmp@hotmail.com

Reason: Requested action not taken: mailbox unavailable

Perhaps it has something to do with this:

Hello Tim ,

We have taken appropriate action in accordance with the MSN Terms of Use (TOU) on the account: rthontonyblairmp@hotmail.com that you reported.

You can view our rules and regulations at:

http://privacy.msn.com/tou/default.asp

MSN Hotmail Customer Support

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Date
20030620

Time
08:27
A third of of Australians cruise through life stoned. It’s the only way to silence the voices…

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030620
Tim Yeo: Campaign Hijacker
Time
09:32
The Tim Yeo Nude Gallery has been updated with the following image entitled: ‘Modesty Above All.’

We thank you.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030620

Time
10:04
Senator Hatch, the man who wants to blow up your computer if you use copyrighted material without permission, uses an unlicensed copy of a JavaScript menu system on his official website. (Cheers to Mark for the heads-up. I missed it on Blogdex this morning.)

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030620
It’s War! And Somebody’s Telling Porkies!
Time
14:18
Christian Science Monitor: Galloway papers deemed forgeries. I just heard on the radio that good ol’ George has refused to accept their apology. But the Telegraph is standing its ground, too. They claim that their document is completely different from the six pages upon which the CSM based its story. The Telegraph document was also tested by CSM, and judged to be ‘genuine.’ And, we can assume, mysteriously fire-proof.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030620
Flash Music Video
Time
16:03
JPEG Baby is getting hundreds and hundreds of lovely visitors, thanks to pluggage by Vancouver radio station, 99.3 the FOX. A big hello to everybody who made it to the main blog.

HELLLLOOOOOOO!

We’d like you to hassle more radio stations, please. Call and request ‘JPEG Baby’ today. We want worldwide airplay without a record deal. Just to make a point.

Total page views since launch: 57,570

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Date
20030620

Time
16:18
Google calls in the ‘language police’. Fair enough, this one – they created the word. But to be included in the dictionary and used in everyday language is actually pretty cool. Almost priceless when it means free plugs on TV shows like ER. And it helps Robbie Williams to get laid. That’s got to be a good thing. The poor guy meets women in the U.S. and when he first gives them his name they (probably) usually say: “You know, you’re not as old/hairy/funny as I thought you would be. Go on, do ‘Mork’ for me.”

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030620
The Political Weblog Movement
Time
17:55
From Richard Allan, Lib-Dem MP and blogger:

“It has been a splendid first week’s blogging. I’ve had more comments in one week than my regular website received in months – I knew the format was strong but am still mightily impressed.

“And, what’s more, I’ve really enjoyed it! It really is a very engaging way to carry on a conversation with lots of people on subjects of mutual interest.”

More words of wisdom at the blog itself. Go visit. If you’re an MP, pay attention!

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030621
Tim Yeo – Where Is The Apology?
Time
00:37
Tim, don’t talk to your lawyers. They just want money.

Me…? I just want an apology..

Just email me like a goddamn gentleman, and I guarantee that you will be amazed at how fast things can change.

Do nothing, and I guarantee that you will be amazed at how fast things can change.

One email. You remember email, don’t you? You were hassling the PM about it just last week….

In fact, if you get off your arse fast enough, you can be the first ever Conservative MP with a weblog – plus win a massive and appreciative audience into the bargain! And all you have to do is (*shock-horror*) admit that you’re human.

And do you know what?

If you won’t be the first Conservative MP with a weblog, somebody else from your party will.

However…

If you step up to the plate now… If you present yourself honestly.. If you get online and Join. The. Sodding. Conversation… you can not only turn this thing around, you can give me a genuine nosebleed.

Walk the walk. Embrace technology. Start a weblog.

Conversations are the future. Come and talk with us, or stand back and watch us talk about you. At length. With illustrations.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030622

Time
12:18
Police have arrested a man who gatecrashed Prince William’s 21st birthday party at Windsor Castle last night. Please, please, please let this unnamed man be Karl Power.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030622

Time
12:22
Bloggerheads is now listed at blogwise.com (the specific listing is here). I’ll have a play with the system tomorrow, or maybe sometime today when my hangover recedes to a dull roar.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030622
Flash Music Video
Time
12:25
JPEG Baby is big in Japan again after a listing at this site. The song also got another airing on WZBC 90.3FM thanks to Steve. Cheers, mate.

Now, if I can manage to finagle a record deal, do you think we could run a successful campaign to have this joyful little wankfest top the charts? I’m dying to appear on Top of the Pop Shots.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030622

Time
12:45
I went to a wedding yesterday and met a lot of very nice people. Some of them may end up here this afternoon.

Hello.

That very long story about Tony Blair starts here.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030623
It’s War! And I’m Confused!
Time
08:26
“The museum wasn’t looted; most items where taken downstairs for storage.”

Ah, but now we find that the storerooms have been looted. The next development is sure to be a claim that the storerooms weren’t looted; concerned citizens (and some foreign journalists) merely took individual items home for safekeeping.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030623
Riding High on Blogdex
Time
08:27
Democrats Go Off the Cliff. It’s very worrying to live in a country without a cohesive and effective opposition. If these guys don’t get their act together, 2004 will be a cakewalk for The Evil One.

Interestingly, this is also charting well today:

“The Democrats seem unable to locate an issue with which to oppose Bush, most having voted for everything he’s requested to date. May I suggest the truth? The single image Bush has promoted is flag-waving hero of the Republic. The evidence proves he is a coward.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030623

Time
08:28
Do you suffer from Sexsomnia?

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030623

Time
08:31
More Barbies than you can poke a non-articulated limb at. Neo-Nazi Barbie comes with the following disclaimer from the artist:

“Please note: I do not endorse nazis. Nor do I endorse Barbies.”

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030623

Time
08:33
Media blitz ensures the return of little girl’s lemonade stand. Police and city officials have caught most of the flak, but the curtain-twitching Grinch behind the complaint that forced them to act remains happily anonymous.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030623

Time
08:37
And you think that I have too much time on my hands? Summaries of The Price Is Right will bring tears to your eyes – even if it does only cover seasons 28, 29, 30 and 31. The design, BTW, shows very clearly why JPEGs never can and never will be able to take the place of GIFs.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030623

Time
08:40
Visitors flocking to see the (alleged) apparition of the Virgin Mary in a window of Milton Hospital have been interfering with staff and patients, so administrators have put a tarp over the window. Now, instead of a lot of curious people filling the car park, they have a lot of angry people filling the car park.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030623
Christianity Watch
Time
08:41
How long has it been since you visited Bibleman?

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030623

Time
08:43
The Corporate Blog Is Catching On (requires registration).

Core messages to take away:

1. Personality is the key

2. Use a trusted employee

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Date
20030623

Time
08:47
A wonderful gallery of pre-prohibition products (via Ultimate Insult). I love the coca-wine that promotes itself as a cure for addication to opium or alcohol.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030623
Welcome to the 21st Century
Time
08:53
See George Bush falling off a Segway.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030623

Time
08:54
School bus driver asks children for directions and is taken on 20-mile detour. It took him two hours to complete a 10-minute journey.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030623
Tim Yeo: Campaign Hijacker
Time
08:56
There’ll be some more Tim Yeo action here and at the weblog later today. Today’s gallery inclusion is a submission, and I’m just trying to clear up the matter of a credit link.

Google results should be in my tomorrow morning. Here’s hoping that Tim sees sense before then and gets in touch.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030623
Updates
Time
12:42
If you’ve been here for a while, you probably already know that the ‘follow me’ section of the nav-bar is – primarily – a listing of sites, portals of communities that I visit every day. As my habits change, it becomes necessary to update this section of the nav-bar.

Today, changes have been made in order to trim sites that I no longer visit as much as I used to, and to include technorati and zfilter.

A new category has also been added to represent a new and growing interest in weblogs by MPs. I hope this will soon grow so out of control that it will have to be removed from the nav-bar and put on a separate page where it can enjoy more elbow-room.

Finally, a long-overdue personal, professional and political profile had been added to the site (and is linked under the ‘who he?’ section of the nav-bar).

That is all.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030623
Mustard Man
Time
13:08
Mike ‘Nug’ Nahrgang (see ‘Mustard Man’ for details) is participating in the 2003 Canadian National Finals of the World Beer Games. There’s a bunch of folks over at Fark having fun with one of the images right now. Enjoy.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030623
Music
Time
13:29
Anyone here from in and around Sydney? Make time to go and see Anthony Snape perform live this week. Those little hairs on the back of your neck will thank you for it. Oh, and tell him I said ‘hi.’

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030623

Time
16:42
This is a very nice piece on the recent Google (TM) hissy fit from Wordlab. The one thing Google can’t afford to do is piss people off or get heartlessly corporate – or try to reduce the way we use their brand in conversation. This is the trend that built their brand. Trying to reverse it seems somewhat backward.

A lot of ‘most popular search’ lists on other search engines are now often topped by the word (note ‘word’, not ‘brand’) ‘google.’

These days, the answer a lot of people give instead of “I don’t know!” or “Look it up!” is: “I don’t know. Have you googled it?”

I don’t want to be worried about the bloody trademark police every time I consciously or unconsciously refer new users to their service.

I’m hoping they’ll rethink this and get back to us.

If not, perhaps we can get DNA’s family to back us up on a strategic countersuit…

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030623

Time
16:55
Don’t let Bush being and arsehole blind you to the real threat of terrorism. I agree; the threat is there. Worse, the Bush administration is actually trying to use the threat to their advantage.

Incidentally, I was quite worried last month that the Big Brother house was a prime UK target (poor security, high visibility, low payload requirement, guaranteed footage, etc.) but now I’ve relaxed a bit. Nothing to do with decreased vigilance, it’s just become obvious that no-one is watching the damn thing.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030624

Time
08:27
Heh. Did George Bush fall off his Segway deliberately to support his chums in the oil industry?

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030624
Anybody But George
Time
08:29
Wesley Clark is dragging his heels, but Howard Dean has announced his candidacy. This has a few people excited, but I still think his faux-blog is pants.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030624
Riding High on Blogdex
Time
08:32
The American Apology Shirt allows you to travel in style, comfort and greatly increased safety, thanks to an important message printed clearly in Arabic, Chinese, English, French, Spanish, and Russian. Go and look. You’ll love it.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030624
Look It Up
Time
08:37
George Washington made his own whiskey. He also grew his own cannabis (and made at least one diary entry about separating the male and female plants, which is what you do if you want to use it for something besides making rope). Of course, it was Thomas Jefferson who penned ‘the pursuit of happiness’ into the constitution, but he was a notorious pothead, too.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030624

Time
08:42
That Honda ad (which I still think uses more than a little CGI trickery) won’t be screened in the U.S., as advertisers are worried that Americans won’t understand it. Perhaps they can add a little shouty person in the corner, then.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030624
Christianity Watch
Time
08:50
Smile, children! It’s Binkles the Christian Clown, and he’s here to to present a fun and funky lesson that will help you to memorise a bible verse, a few songs and an ‘unforgettable’ bible story. Most worrying of all, the site promises that: “an invitation to recieve (sic) Jesus as personal Savior and Lord is always given at the conclusion.”

(Link via fellow agnostic Scott.)

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030624
Flash Music Video
Time
08:55
Today, JPEG Baby reaches all the way to the sunny shores of Iceland. Total page views since launch: 62,963.

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Date
20030624

Time
09:04
A Blogger’s Big-Fish Fantasy (requires registration).

Quite rightly notes that ‘linking to others gets links.’ But not always. Keep it in context, people. Have something to say.

For the record, I watch my stats a lot. I’m not so worried about traffic, more about patterns.

For instance, I know from my stats that there are at least 50 of you who deliberately tune in between 8:30am-9:30am (GMT) when I do the bulk of my blogging, presumably so you can have the pleasure of watching me correct my spoiling mistakes.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030624
Blogs and Money
Time
09:11
Here’s a little tool that lets you preview Adsense, the new blogvertising service from Google. It seems to think that I’d do best selling blog tools. Funny, that.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030624
Follow Up
Time
09:12
Can’t critic see camp is nude, but not lewd? So who’s doing the exploiting; the nudist camp, or Mark Foley?

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Date
20030624

Time
09:14
I scream, you scream… PossePops is the new ice confection being touted by none other than Ice T. They look like more or less like chocolate chipwiches, but each ice cream comes with a wrapper that dares you – in authentic street-speak – to say ‘no’ to drugs, wear a condom, and go to school.

“Eat + read + learn = word!” Yo!

In (arguably) related news, a novelty ‘shock’ pen sold though ice cream vans and local markets is causing chaos at the Dickey Elementary School in Ontario.

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Date
20030624
Tim Yeo: Campaign Hijacker
Time
09:28
*sigh*

The tragedy is that this could have been avoided with a simple email last week.

Now I’m after a public apology on the Conservatives website and in a major newspaper (however, if Mr Yeo wishes to bury it bit, I suppose he can always slip this into the letters section or the personal ads).

To paraphrase another of this nation’s great public servants:

“The turtle’s *not* for tipping!”

Will I get my apology?

Well, let’s see…

This morning, searching for Tim Yeo brings up all sorts of wonderful results. The Tim Yeo: Campaign Hijacker page performs best, results for this are as follows:

AOL (#4)

Google (#4)

Yahoo! (#3)

These three search engines are the source of 75% of search engine traffic.

Tom Watson’s entry on the matter snuggles in just below this. The Tim Yeo Weblog rolls in late at #9, and – for today only – FunJunkie gives the whole issue a quick nod, courtesy of a sly change to their Page Title. Go and peek.

You may very well come to the conclusion that Tim Yeo has been ‘googlebombed,’ but such a suggestion is misleading, as Google has not provided the ammunition in this case; Tim has. A better term might be ‘tossbombed,’ then.

UPDATE – The nude gallery now contains a new, submitted image. This was supposed to go live yesterday. Sorry about that.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030624

Time
09:44
Did I blog that powergenitalia.com was a spoof? No? No matter: Snopes to the rescue.

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Date
20030624
Flash Music Video
Time
11:26
More JPEG Baby forum-love over at this thread at techimo.com. Oh, and here’s some people that didn’t like it at all. At all.

Oh well. You can’t please everybody.

UPDATE – Damn, I’ve been meaning to blog this for ages. Jim Coleman wrote in with the following:

“I just wanted to say that JPEG Baby is possibly the worst piece of music I have ever heard. Why on earth have you made this?”

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030624
Tim Yeo: Campaign Hijacker
Time
11:57
Ahahahahahaha! Justice is done. A few visitors have turned up this morning looking for Tim Yeo’s email address.

Tell you what; I’ll give him 24 hours before publishing the two core addresses he uses on the ‘campaign hijacker’ page where they’ll be much, much easier to find. It’s my duty to Google to provide what people seek, after all.

I’ll be careful to drop a spamblock in, of course. I’m not a complete bastard.

On that note, I’ve emailed Tim Yeo (again) this morning. Maybe you’d care to as well.

Use either of these:

yeot AT parliament DOT uk

timyeomp AT parliament DOT uk

Be nice.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030624
It’s War! And Somebody’s Going To Pay!
Time
15:51
Dozens of children killed by mines and unexploded bombs every day in Iraq (contains disturbing images).

It made me want to spit bullets when Blair turned around after the million-strong march with the new-and-improved humanitarian justification. Now it could very well blow up in his face.

I wonder how many of these leftover devices the UK is responsible for?

I’m not quite sure how much good this petition will do, but if it makes you feel better you may as well sign your life away.

(Links via Joho and Earth-Info.)

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030624

Time
17:17
Hehehehe.

Tom just posted the following comment he got by email regarding the Teens page:

“just to let you kno, your teenz page is the most pathetic attempt at making politics relevant for the younger generation, I have seen in a long while…..Dont try getting down wiv the kidz, let the kidz get up to politics, its time for a real democracy…”

Of course, I can’t be too smug. I did fall for powergenitalia.com, largely because of the same assumption of ignorance.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030625
The Political Weblog Movement
Time
08:13
I wanted to get deeper into the whole pamphleteer/blogger thing, so I asked my Dad (who’s got the learnin’) to have a think about it and maybe send me some details.

The email he sent me is quoted in full below.

Dad isn’t 100% on blogs, so the fact that he pretty much nails it in the first paragraph confirms the parallel for me.

A few points before we go to the email:

1. There were many, many pamphleteers who frittered this opportunity away promoting recipes for cheesecake (or ye olde equivalent).

2. People aren’t as desperate for information as they were then, but after decades of corporate bullshit, they do crave a human voice.

3. I’m sure many of you will get to the end and say: “Ah! So that’s where he gets it from!”

Dear Tim,

It seems that you are right in what you say about pamphleteers being the bloggers of the past. There are a number of criteria that you need to take into consideration when taking a stance and writing on it, however. Firstly, the position and standing of the writer determines the spread of his views. Next, the topic itself must be of interest to a wide audience. Thirdly, the facts presented must bear a ring of truth either spun or unspun. The next point is that the audience must be persuaded to read the material, which is probably the greatest challenge.

The original pamphleteers had a great advantage. People, common people, were thirsty for any news they could get and so anything in print was read and believed by those who held similar views. The views were quoted to support arguments and so the writers of the pamphlets gained notoriety. As time went on, reputation came ahead of content. Today, reputation comes from having access to a column in the print media. People who haven’t are up against the celebrity factor from the start and the catch-up is difficult.

Topics on which pamphlets must be written today are an anathema to most of the apathy-ridden masses. Why do they need to listen to criticism or even think about the policies/decisions of a Government they didn’t vote for when their favourite team/celebrity is undergoing sex changes/ a slump/ bad hair days or what have you. They just don’t give a s***. They have been programmed by the media not to.

If they are inclined to listen, they are so acclimatised to spin being put on the truth that they disbelieve everything they cannot see or touch. Logic is difficult for many to apply, so they don’t. You need to make your facts very simple and very demonstrable, even if they are lies. Remember that the spin-doctors went to the Goebbels School of Propaganda and learned that the more often a lie is told, the sooner it becomes truth and that the bigger the lie, the more likely it is to be believed.

Finally, when you consider that the most that most people read of the news is the headlines outside the newsagents, That may be a worthy place to begin. Make up your own headlines. ‘PRIME MINISTER CAUGHT TELLING THE TRUTH FOR FIRST TIME’ would be immediately believed by everybody, and they would all be wondering what that truth was. Some would even follow up the story.

So you can see the problem you have in front of you. Your content can be the best in the world, truthful and hard-hitting but you are 350 years too late to get it out there easily. I like it, and agree with a lot of it, but you need more readers. How you get them is your greatest challenge.

I could write more, but that is the guts of it. Probably a greater reflection of my own cynicism than a critique, but there you are.

Best wishes

Dad

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030625

Time
08:18
Staffordshire county councillor caught speeding with speed camera he donated to local police.

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Date
20030625
Anybody But George
Time
08:24
This ‘sneak preview of the president’s 2004 campaign’ is charting well on Blogdex.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030625

Time
08:27
Roll over. Play dead. Good boy.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030625
Follow Up
Time
08:27
Crowd gathered at Milton Hospital claim to see second apparition on chimney.

”It’s another sign . . . there is hope for us all, with all that is going on in the world,” said one.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030625

Time
08:33
There are only a few weird and wonderful products in this modest collection, but I you just have to see the portable bedroom mirror.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030625

Time
08:35
Dog born with no forelegs learns to walk upright. It would have been a better story had the dog been born with no hind legs.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030625
Tim Yeo: Campaign Hijacker
Time
08:40
Searches for ‘tim yeo’ in Google now present the ‘campaign hijacker’ page at No.3 and the Tim Yeo weblog at No. 4 (with similar results appearing in AOL and Yahoo lagging behind – for the moment).

These new results and related linkage actually knock his profile at the Conservatives website pretty much out of the picture. This would have been much harder to do with a dedicated website. Especially so if there had been an audience willing to back him up in a similar way.

Hopefully a lesson learned, then.

A new image has been added to the nude gallery. It is entitled:

“The Afterglow of Power”

B3tans got a sneaky-peek at this last night. Unsurprisingly, it broke someone’s brain. Sorry about that.

Mr Yeo should take a closer look at the Tony Blair email campaign to see how long I carried on with that (plus maybe The Star Wars Photoshopping Project to see how long I carried on with that) before deluding himself into thinking that this will pass like a bad stone.

I want my apology.

Does he really want me taking him to task on every promise he makes during the next election?

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030625

Time
09:01
Beware the Paypal Scam!

It’s not the first time this has been done, but it may be the first time for you, so watch out:

Con artists have been sending fake emails purportedly from Paypal, asking members to confirm their username, password, credit card number, etc. etc. etc.

It’s a scam. Learn to spot them for your own protection.

No organisation like Paypal would email you requesting information in such a way. Would your bank call you out of the blue asking for your PIN number?

(In fact, there have been many recent scams just like this, too. The Paypal scam appears to be a mere e-copy of these.)

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030625
Tim Yeo: The Limited Offer
Time
13:15
The following is a complete and unedited copy of an email that is being sent to Tim Yeo in 5, 4, 3, 2…

Dear Mr Yeo,

Somehow I don’t think that this one small issue encapsulates everything you have done or are trying to do as an MP, but as far as 75% of web users who search for your name are concerned, it is presented as the primary issue.

In fact, it’s now presented ahead of your profile at Conservatives.com

Perhaps, then, the small threat of admitting that you actually made a mistake pales into insignificance in this case.

Let us hope so, because I’m about to show you my fluffier side and make a very kind offer. With a shelf-life of precisely 24 hours.

What I Need From You:

- Answer this email within 24 hours.

- Acknowledge that it was a bit cheeky of you to hijack an existing campaign and use it for your own ends.

- Apologise for same.

- Guarantee that you will seek no further publicity on this front and/or promise that you will acknowledge the contribution Bloggerheads has made should the issue come up again.

(optional)

- Ask a question in parliament designed to nail down an actual delivery date on a viable service for Tony Blair (the two previous questions are on record, so how carefully you need to word this question should be obvious).

Many folks that watch Bloggerheads are almost as angry about this as I am, so they’re going to want to see a result. Because of this, I will need to blog your reply in part or total (so please keep this in mind when drafting it).

However, this strictly limited offer does negate the need for you to publish your apology at Conservatives.com and via a major newspaper. Also…

What I Offer In Return:

If we can settle this promptly to the satisfaction of my readers (and myself), it makes sense to simply draw a line under it from there and call it a day. So…

- The Tim Yeo – Campaign Hijacker page will be amended to display the true nature of this issue (i.e. as a simple, and corrected, misunderstanding).

- All nude images (and references to same) will be removed from this page.

- The Tim Yeo weblog will be shut down and removed entirely.

Why This Makes Sense:

I can stop. I can release my vice-like grip. Some form of spiked hammer is not necessary. I cannot, however, guarantee the same of anybody else who comes along and considers this situation to be well out of order. This means that you not only have to worry about escalation of activity from myself, but also from other users who may wish to use you as an IT punching-bag.

The longer this issue is out there and as prominent as this, the greater that risk is. God forbid that a journalist should decide to research your name sometime in the next few days.

I urge you to get in touch today and settle this.

There are more important things in life, and I’d like to get on with them.

I am sure that you feel the same.

Regards,

Tim Ireland

http://www.bloggerheads.com/

(Please note that this email to you has been blogged in its entirety.)

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030625

Time
13:45
Young Rich will want to be quick if he’s planning on dropping by with a ‘Tim Yeo Nude’ submission. I’m hoping that the whole issue will be done with by this time tomorrow.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030625

Time
15:12
Bloggers! Behold your prophet!

“There is one mind common to all individual men. Every man is an inlet to the same and to all of the same. He that is once admitted to the right of reason is made a freeman of the whole estate. What Plato has thought, he may think; what a saint has felt, he may feel; what at any time has be-fallen any man, he can understand. Who hath access to this universal mind is a party to all that is or can be done, for this is the only and sovereign agent.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson

It looks like we have a pretty strong candidate for sainthood here.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030625

Time
15:22
Be warned that Defend Your Castle may look simple at first, but is incredibly addictive once you get past Stage 3 or 4. For full enjoyment – Read. The. Instructions! (Found via FunJunkie.)

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030625

Time
15:48
An almost-live blow-by-blow of Alastair Campbell facing the WMD inquiry. Go watch! (Link via Tom Watson.)

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030625
Welcome to Winston’s World
Time
16:16
The government’s Criminal Justice Bill plans to give police powers to take DNA samples from anybody who has been arrested. Not just those that have been charged. I’m not terribly happy about that. Just standing up for my rights on May Day could have been enough to get me arrested. Sure, the whole thing would be cleared up pretty sharpish (I would hope), but my life would still be on a database somewhere. Operated by the Chuckle Brothers, no doubt.

Are they seriously telling us that such a database would be immune to corruption or incompetence?

Just like with bloody GM food, it’s full speed ahead, and damn the consequences.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030625
It’s War! And Somebody’s Going To Pay!
Time
17:58
When put on the spot, Alastair Campbell admitted that Californian student Ibrahim al-Marashi was indeed owed an apology. Why? Well, his work was lifted from the Internet without credit or recompense, and then misused with a highly political agenda.

Are you paying attention, Mr Yeo?

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030625

Time
23:22
Y’see, this is why I don’t read discarded copies of The Sun any more. It just aggravates me:

‘Paras’ massacred by rabble.

Such a familiar term; ‘Paras.’

Right up there with ‘Our Boys.’

Perhaps the writing/editorial team of The Sun can present us with a complete rundown of their military service record.

This simple result is by no means definitive, but it strikes a chord with me.

Also, the use of ‘rabble’ in this headline is a perfect example of The Sun’s exploitation of the illiterate and the ignorant.

I’ve actually taken a survey commissioned by The Sun.

The first question asked if I read the articles, or just read the headlines.

For many people, the simple use of the word ‘rabble’ will be the end of the matter. No matter what they read (or have read to them) after.

Were they (allegedly) Saddam loyalists and (therefore) completely evil, or were they simply a shabby crowd with ideas above their station?

If the former, we can look forward to a decent hanging at last. If the latter; how dare they attack Our Boys?

I swear; what this country needs is a broadsheet with tits in it.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030626
Riding High on Blogdex
Time
09:37
The new Google Toolbar (beta) has a pop-up blocker and a ‘blog this’ feature.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030626
It’s War! And Somebody’s Telling Porkies!
Time
09:39
Alastair Campbell shifts focus to BBC ‘lies.’

There was a lot of talk after his questioning about what a good performance it was. ‘Performance’ is right. As you would expect, his responses were high on spin and low on substance.

When it came down to the nitty-gritty of it, the suggestion that a back-room cabal had made plans for war without consulting the Foreign Office or MPs, he went on and on and on and on and on about what a serious allegation that was.

Yes, it’s serious, but that doesn’t make it untrue, now does it

He then ran off a list of the accused who had denied it.

That also does not make the claim untrue.

Said Mr Campbell;

“I know scepticism is fine, but are we really so cynical that we think any prime minister is going to make prior decisions to send British forces into conflict and wouldn’t rather avoid doing that.”

If we are that cynical, Mr Campbell, then we have you to thank for it.

And it still doesn’t make the claim untrue.

So there.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030626

Time
09:42
How To Tell If Your Head’s About To Blow Up.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030626

Time
09:43
Front yard display irks neighbours. Is it a home, or is it a business? This zoning question threatens the safety and comfort of dozens of angels, dwarfs, frogs, dogs, flamingos, rabbits, turtles, religious figures, and plastic crocodiles.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030626

Time
09:46
The top 11 movies about animals attacking people. No.1 will surprise you not a lot.

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Date
20030626

Time
09:52
Princess Di: Mutant Superhero

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Date
20030626
Christianity Watch
Time
09:54
“Even if YOU don’t know what faith you are, Belief-O-Matic™ knows. Answer 20 questions about your concept of God, the afterlife, human nature, and more, and Belief-O-Matic™ will tell you what religion (if any) you practice…or ought to consider practicing.”

The disclaimer is even funnier. Go see – and take the test. I tried it, but for some reason my answers caused a major page error.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030626

Time
09:56
OK, that’s it for now. I want to leave room for anything that (*ahem*, nudge) may come along today.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030626
Tim Yeo: The Limited Offer
Time
11:18
About 2 hours to go. He’s cutting it fine.

I’m dead busy today, so don’t expect me to go completely 21st century on his ass from the moment the deadline passes at 1:24pm

I will, however, be taking suggestions for appropriate action at this time…

Oh, just thought I’d mention… Tim Yeo’s Conservatives.com profile has staged a bit of a comeback on ‘tim yeo’ searches, but the Tim Yeo weblog is now outperforming the Tim Yeo – Campaign Hijacker page. There have been no updates to the Tim Yeo weblog today, as I genuinely hope to be able to shut it down sometime this afternoon.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030626

Time
12:23
One hour. It don’t look good.

tic tic tic tic tic tic tic

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Date
20030626

Time
13:11
Whoa! A tidy little traffic spike over the last hour, with at least half a dozen individuals accessing the site via parliament.uk

Everyone’s watching and waiting, but I have the feeling we’re all about to be sorely disappointed…

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030626
Tim Yeo: The Limited Offer
Time
13:25
Moment of truth… downloading email…

Hey, I’ve selected for a special giveaway! I can also have a larger penis, maintain a harder, longer erection with said penis, and say goodbye to my debt problems.

I cannot, unfortunately, call it a day on the Tim Yeo issue. No reply. At all.

I’m really quite sad about that.

Even notorious spin-doctor Alastair Campbell has acknowledged that a person whose material has been lifted from the Internet and used for a political purpose deserves an apology. Why can’t Mr Yeo do the same?

OK, suggestions taken from this point on. How do we reach Tim Yeo? How do we convince him to do the gentlemanly thing? He obviously doesn’t care what the online community thinks of him, so some ‘real life’ action may be called for.

Thinking caps on. Emails to the usual address.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030626

Time
14:40
I really am quite depressed about this. As soon as I finish the work on my plate, I’m going to cruise by the B3ta board for some much-needed cheering up.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030627

Time
08:35
Every Star Wars Kid video ever made. Interesting to see the number of people it inspired, but it was the original that warmed our hearts. You may recognise the collection of animations. I’ve emailed and asked (nicely) for a credit link.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030627
Riding High on Blogdex
Time
08:38
Steer and queers now legal in Texas. The Supreme Court ruling is also expected to have an impact on other states with anti-sodomy laws.

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Date
20030627

Time
08:46
These extracts from a 1970’s Scientology pamphlet are doing the rounds. Do make the effort to work through the lot. You wouldn’t want to miss highlights such as the peacekeeping efforts of the Volunteer Minister. Techniques such as Contact Assist and Locational Assist follow in situations that will chill you to the bone with their stark realism. See it all. At the very least, head forward to see the Volunteer Minister meet the ‘Chief of Police’ and solve the local crime problem with a cunning plan outlined on a single sheet of A4 paper.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030627

Time
08:50
See the mug shot of the man who tried to rob a pharmacy with his finger.

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Date
20030627

Time
08:53
A site dedicated to every single body part of Michael Jackson. She really, really likes his neck. You’ve probably also seen Eminem’s oh-so-clever stunt. It would be funnier if he weren’t just as disturbing as Jacko – and about 6 months too late. (Oooh, I am in a mood today…)

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Date
20030627
Telemarketers
Time
08:57
Phoneonthecob.com is proving popular, in that it mixes the joy of prank phone calls with truly deserving victims. They call him, y’see. And not all of them are allowed to hang up.

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Date
20030627

Time
08:59
How can you possibly say no to caffeinated beer that glows in the dark?

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Date
20030627
Anybody But George
Time
09:02
See George Bush hanging around in a classroom for five minutes after being told of WTC attack. The longer introduction (scroll down) is quite mean-spirited. I mean, maybe he just wanted to find out what made Spot run.

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Date
20030627

Time
09:05
An estimated 40,000 people have journeyed to Milton Hospital to see the apparition of the Virgin Mary. One man who was interviewed said; “I don’t see anything except a dirty window.”

Burn him! Burrrrrrn him!

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Date
20030627

Time
09:12
Husband in automotive tryst with mistress accidentally activates mobile phone – which places a call through to his wife. She then went on to attack him with an axe, presumably because she places her faith in more primitive (yet reliable) forms of technology.

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Date
20030627
The Political Weblog Movement
Time
09:22
After years of walking past each other in the halls, Tom Watson and Richard Allan stopped to shake hands on Wednesday. Because of their interaction through weblogs. Makes me warm all over, that does.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030627
Friday Feedback
Time
09:36
Tim Yeo is obviously using the ‘la-la-la this isn’t happening’ technique to deal with this little issue. I’m not 100% sure he’s worth more Photoshop time (and I don’t want to bore you chaps), but work on the weblog will definitely continue. It can be used to do a post-mortem on every inch of newspaper coverage he gets. I’m also seriously considering digging through the Private Eye collection in the attic so we can give a home to (and present a search result for) a range of informative titbits.

Given that he wants to pretend that we don’t exist – or don’t matter – some form of ‘real life’ action may also be called for. All suggestions are appreciated. Emails to the usual address.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030627
The Political Weblog Movement
Time
11:46
Thanks go to Simon) for spotting this post on senatorial blogging. Perhaps Dennis Kucinich can be convinced to help bring blogs into the senate.gov framework.

Having them outside sets the ‘independent’ precedent that potentially robs us of real voices.

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Date
20030627

Time
19:50
A long day. A busy day.

BTW, thanks for the feedback. Keep it coming.

A few folks have asked why the last few days have depressed me so.

Well, it was a pretty generous offer. A realistic offer. And Tim Yeo still couldn’t see sense. I genuinely hate it when people force me to hurt them.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030628

Time
08:51
Connex loses its franchise. Good. Thameslink and South West Trains had better watch their arse. SWT (owned by Stagecoach Holdings Plc.) is still charging extortionate fares. They hide a lot of them with laughable ‘saver’ concepts and single fares that are about 10p less than the return. All for the pleasure of riding on dirty, cramped, 40-year old ‘slam door’ stock. And the general attitude of staff just has to be experienced to be believed. I won’t be sorry to see them go.

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Date
20030628

Time
16:58
Our youngest has just developed her first ‘see it and say it’ word. I heard about it this morning, but wasn’t aware of the true implications until I took her for a drive this afternoon:

Car!

Car!

Car! Car! Car!

Car!

Car! Car! Car! Car! Car! Car!


etc…

We survived the trip on the A-road into town, but her brain finally went into overload when we pulled into the car park.

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Date
20030629
It’s War! And Somebody’s Telling Porkies!
Time
09:08
Ministers knew war papers were forged, says diplomat.

You’ll pardon me for saying so, but that’s not very diplomatic…

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Date
20030629

Time
16:02
Wow, I got much less spam this weekend than I normally do. Are all these guys at a conference or something?

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Date
20030630
Telemarketers
Time
08:35
I was wondering only last week why you guys didn’t have this. Now you do:

National ‘Do Not Call’ Registry goes live.

Pop your home/mobile number on the list, and you’re clear for five years.



The list still allows you to receive calls ‘from political organisations, charities, telephone surveyors or companies with which you have an existing business relationship,’ but with the exception of companies being allowed to interpret a single purchase as an existing business relationship, the rules looks pretty stringent.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030630

Time
08:43
San Francisco motorist runs over pedestrian, laughs hysterically and then drives over victim again. Repeatedly.

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Date
20030630
Does What It Says On The Tin
Time
08:47
www.duckhuntinggirls.com

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Date
20030630
Christianity Watch
Time
08:52
The site productsforbaby.com only has one product, but it’s a cracker. The Genesis Teething Ring (made of unknown material and bearing the name of our Lord and Saviour, Jesus) reportedly ‘goes with two things that we are going to have more of every day, babies and Christians.’

Bless.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030630
It’s War! And Somebody’s Going To Pay!
Time
08:57
Ten Appalling Lies We Were Told About Iraq.

They missed one. Remember when we stopped believing their WMD bullshit and it suddenly became a fight for democracy and regime change? Well, they got the regime change bit (almost) right, but:

Occupation Forces Halt Elections Throughout Iraq.

More on the latest developments and their implications from Back To Iraq: Iraq Intifada Gearing Up.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030630
Riding High on Blogdex
Time
09:11
Everything you need to know about irony.

If you read this and are still having trouble online, then Irony Detector 1.5 might come in handy. You may not understand what it is, but dammit, you’ll know it’s there.

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Date
20030630

Time
09:31
Is Google God? (requires registration)

In a word, ‘no.’ We, as representatives of the increasingly connected global consciousness come pretty close, but we’re not God, either.

For those that need reminding, God is a large man in a white robe with a kindly face and long, flowing beard. With all lightning coming out of his fingers, like.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030630
Tim Yeo: Campaign Hijacker
Time
10:35
From the feedback this weekend, we get (mostly) the following question, presented here in hybrid form:

Question: How do you know that he’s read your email and/or is aware of the website?

Answer: I just know, OK?

It has also been suggested that, being a Tory, Tim Yeo may actually be enjoying this public whipping and looking forward to more of the same. We shall see.

As for suggestions for development of the campaign, one piece of feedback proves particularly interesting, and suggests that simply maintaining the status quo may be enough in the short term:

From Simon of wibbler.com:

Ooooh, your efforts reach all sorts of places. The Mail on Sunday this weekend:

“Tory Grandee Tim Yeo…. is the victim of a new smear. Fake email pictures of him in various states of undress have been circulating in the commons among MPs. One features him in bed, smiling and naked, holding a magazine. Urgh!”

Now, I do try to be fair. I did warn Mr Yeo that there had been increasing views from parliament.uk, but did he listen? No.

I’ve also warned him of the possible consequences of the high search results for the Tim Yeo Weblog and the Tim Yeo: Campaign Hijacker page (which have again pushed his Conservatives.com profile out of the picture). Is he worried about that? It would appear not.

Today, the following image is presented for your amusement. It is entitled:

“The Wages Of Sin”

A larger version is presented in the growing gallery.

More on this front soon.

If I can stomach it.

UPDATE – And, just to show you that I’m not the only one who has a problem with this








Posted in Uncategorized | Comments Off

02-16 June, 2003

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Date
20030602

Time
08:52
Student suspended from last eight days of school after leaving obscene message hidden in school newspaper article. The first letter of each paragraph pretty much spelled it out for one of the faculty members – but the student only got rumbled when it was pointed out to teaching staff by one of his ‘mates’ (probably as a result of a bit of bragging).

Y’see, you have to keep this kind of thing under your hat; that’s why I’m not going to tell you where on the web you can see an example of this kind of thing from a certain copywriter who shall remain nameless.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030602

Time
09:02
Defendant marks his territory in San Diego Superior Court.

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Date
20030602

Time
09:05
Reality shows face casting crisis. It seems the number of people willing to appear on nothing but a promise is slowly but surely dwindling. Producers won’t even be able to fake it by using desperate actors, as this lot are worried about being typecast. Sadly, the numbers aren’t reduced enough to actually knock anything off the air. Yet.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030602
Yet Another Lame Quiz
Time
09:12
What movie quote are you?

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030602

Time
09:44
Looks like it’s all starting to come to a head.

PC Magazine has proclaimed blogging to be ‘the next big thing’ (i.e. the thing that will be ‘so over’ this time next year). FBI puppies gave this devastatingly attractive young student a damn good grilling over references to ‘hacking’ in her weblog.

Whoa. Hang on. Back up.

She claims to have been quoting from the movie ‘Hackers,’ but Googling for generic derivatives turned up nothing but this article and a bunch of junk. No reference to it here, either. I haven’t actually wasted time watching the movie – so let’s move along.

This, supposedly is the student’s weblog – but it looks very, very new to me.

Something smelly is going on with this one.

Now, where were we?

Ah, yes – blogging.

This Observer article responds to recent whinges about blog ‘pollution’…

“The moral is: if you want to score with Google, be on the web.”

Quite a familiar sentiment, I must say.

Finally, we come around to Andrew Orlanski’s latest piece on blogging. Either this is an outright troll, or Andrew’s cheese has well and truly slipped off its cracker.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030602
Christianity Watch
Time
09:48
Are you a Christian into Cyberdating? Then use identidate.com to ensure that your prospective partner is of good moral stock and not some crazy sicko.

Also, if you’re looking for folks out for a good time, then why not join The Church of the Lion of Judah? The Rapture is coming, and these people are ready. I’m still digging, but so far my favourite quote is:

“In order to fully understand any of what has happened and is to come, one must accept certain truths as fact.”

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030602
Flash Music Video
Time
10:17
Visits to JPEG Baby started to slow down around Friday, but interest has been renewed (and then some) after a link at Metafilter.

Here’s a little forum love that resulted. We also featured at the NSFW entensity.net, Adam Curry’s weblog and cracked the language barrier again with a link on this Russian site.

Total page views since launch: 31,976

(Oh, and while we’re slumming it in parts foreign, a fair amount of traffic came this way today and yesterday from this Brazilian review of The Star Wars Photoshopping Project. World domination is within my grasp.)

UPDATE – Yay! More Russian love coming in from vpcom.ru & absolutus.nm.ru – and now the mighty BBspot has deemed it linkworthy. A good day. Still, I’m yet to hear from a single Elvis impersonator….

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030602

Time
10:27
According to the Jail Rape Calculator, I’m worth 3 cartons of cigarettes and two porno mags – and it would take me a mere 12 days to become Bubba’s bitch.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030602
Operation Justification
Time
10:29
Blair claims to have ‘secret proof’ of WMDs. Meanwhile, George Bush claims that the two empty trailers they found were the proof. I’d be more inclined to believe them if they could keep their stories straight.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030602

Time
10:36
This time next week, I’ll be in Boston attending the ClickZ Weblog Business Strategies conference.

Sadly, this means that I will be unable to attend The 3rd Annual Nigerian Email Conference (link via TTR2).

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030603
Murdoch is a Bastard
Time
08:47
When Rupert Murdoch told a senate committee plan that he had no plans to take advantage of any relaxation in America media ownership laws they laughed in his face – but still the Republicans managed to muscle plans through.

No surprises there. It was Murdoch who sold the idea that Bush had (just) won the election, and it was Murdoch who helped to sell the idea that the war on Iraq was necessary and just.

This, I suppose, is his just reward.

Using similar muscle here in the UK, Murdoch has been using tabloids like The Sun to support the government on pretty much every issue that counts. Until he gets his way, of course. Then it’s business as usual.

Murdoch is not a man to be trusted. I even have a sneaking suspicion that he has a tooth or two in the back of his throat.

UPDATE – Q&A: US media changes and the UK

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030603

Time
08:51
What makes a weblog a weblog?

Simple answer: the nut behind the wheel.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030603

Time
08:53
Microsoft reluctantly, but clearly, calls it a day on the standalone version of Internet Explorer.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030603

Time
08:59
The Register describes it as (maybe) better than Google (even though, like most metas, it relies heavily on Google and other search engines). Company spokeswoman Megan Hamilton says that “we want to become the Hotmail of search,” which certainly sounds promising to me.

It’s Turbo10. Go and have a play if you like, but watch out for the ugly, ugly interface.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030603

Time
09:05
Japanese photographer sentenced to 18 months after cluster bomb kills airport security guard in Jordan. The bomb was a souvenir taken from Iraq. Presumably they were all out of art treasures.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030603

Time
09:08
Why merely look up her skirt when you can see the whole works? Enjoy The Visible Barbie Project. I did.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030603

Time
09:09
Find the shortest path between any two weblogs. Your first mission is to find viable links between this weblog and an intelligent one.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030603

Time
09:13
Journalist spends entire time in Iraq associating with the Baghdad blogger, but fails to realise it until he gets home. Instead of interviewing the guy, the journalist sent him out for pizza.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030603
Pets
Time
09:29
Woman claims her dog is worth $50K, because God told her so.

Cats are too smart for Meow TV.

Girl finds two-headed turtle.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030603

Time
09:31
Company sells fake six-figure ATM receipts to saddos trying to impress dates.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030603
Flash Music Video
Time
09:34
More Russian link-love for JPEG Baby. Total page views since launch: 37,228

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030603

Time
09:37
The latest story from Conspiracy Planet:

“Sources from the Department of Defense report that the covert-ops team sent to Iraq to plant the Weapons of Mass Destruction in order to justify the US War on Iraq have been killed by friendly fire – unfortunately before they could tell anyone where they hid the cache of WMD’s.”

Heh. I like this one. It has an entertaining double-spin to it.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030603
Photoshopping
Time
09:40
The latest addition to The Star Wars Photoshopping Project sees Hislop and Merton teaming up to save the day.

I was going to include the ghost of Angus Deayton, but couldn’t be arsed…

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Date
20030603

Time
16:32
I think perhaps now is as good a time as any to remind ourselves of the basic principles of fair use.

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Date
20030603
Photoshopping
Time
16:34
Could this incredible image really mark the end of the The Star Wars Photoshopping Project?

Many would hope so, but I’m not making any promises.

Let’s just say that this one feels closer to that all-important finish line than anything else that has gone before it.

I mean, really, how could I possibly top this version?

Big’un is being shown off over at B3ta.

Enjoy.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030603

Time
18:07
Help bring London out of the 19th century and sign the petition for a post-midnight service on the tube.

At least at weekends.

Ignore any arguments about the need for overnight maintenance. It’s bullshit. We all know that maintenance teams spend most of their time dodging work or catching up on sleep. I can’t see three less available hours each night (or two nights a week) messing up the current demand for maintenance if the workers are actually working. Right now this time is wasted by those with an overwhelming desire to nap or sit on one’s arse and stare into space. That’s what office jobs are for, boyo.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030603

Time
20:17
Heh. Minerva has declared that back-to-iraq.com is a cultural artifact and worth preservation and display as part of their new collection of sites relating to the war in Iraq.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030604

Time
08:08
Take your pick between domino art and toilet roll art.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030604

Time
08:10
Bank robbers captured when getaway car fails to start. Obviously these bright sparks have never been to the movies before, or they would know that you’re supposed to leave the engine running. (Unless of course you’re operating in Sgt. Harry Callahan’s district, where this kind of forward-thinking behaviour merely invites trouble.)

The passenger jumped out and tried to steal a car, before breaking into a house and trying to steal some car keys – and then running off desperately trying to flag down a lift on the nearby Interstate.

The driver merely sat there and went “C’mon! C’mon! C’monnnn!” until the police finally, mercifully, answered his call.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030604

Time
08:19
We had monkeys the other week. Today: Buy a penguin from the Penguin Warehouse!

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030604

Time
08:25
Oof! Thwack! Kapow! Kersplotch!

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030604
Christianity Watch
Time
08:27
Great. Just what we need. Another gimmick bible. That’ll make a good story. That’ll fill a few inches.

Fans of the The Mosquito Coast; feel free to gnaw your own arm off any time now.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030604

Time
08:39
See some pictures of extreme weather at weatherpix.com (link lifted from The Ultimate Insult).

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030604

Time
08:42
Velvet-Strike allows you to submit your own counter-military graffiti and images for inclusion in the network shooter terrorism game Counter-Strike. Time to dig through the Bush/Blair porn collection…

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030604
It’s War! And Somebody’s Going To Get Laid!
Time
08:45
Nevada brothel offers free sex to troops returning from the war in Iraq.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030604

Time
08:47
Property dispute turns ugly when owner responds to development/upkeep protests with lime-green signs saying “Keep the fuck out!” and “You started this shit!”

Now, there’s just no call for that. I mean, lime green? I don’t blame the council for getting involved. In fact, someone should call the police.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030604

Time
08:53
Clay Shirky: The FCC, Weblogs, and Inequality

He misses one important point…

Anybody can start a weblog, but to start/buy a major traditional outlet, such as a newspaper or television station, you need some serious cash. To get your hands on this amount of cash, you usually need to be right bastard. Bastards need regulation.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030604

Time
09:11
“How crazy would I have to make my signature before someone would actually notice?”

I’ve been tempted to do this myself. Maybe 1 in 10 shopkeepers check my signature. Even fewer give it more than a cursory glance.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030604

Time
09:14
CIA report claims that Al Qaeda terrorists are set to use chemical, biological and nuclear weapons.

Hmmm. Is it as reliable as this CIA intelligence?

The claim could very well be true, but it stinks so highly of Bush’s perpetual war that I’m inclined not to trust it.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030604

Time
09:21
BBQ brawl culminates in the inevitable skewering.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030604
Flash Music Video
Time
11:26
JPEG Baby continues to break the language barrier.

Italians, Estonians and Argentinians have all been bopping along happily. We even reached this international community of Bakunians.

Folks in Instanbul have also been having a giggle, and it was probably the appearance at this Greek portal that prompted this morning’s request for a copy of the MP3 from a radio station in Veria .

Airtime in Greece. That entertains me beyond my capacity to make… the words… um, do stuff.

More on the local front, the link has almost travelled full circle by reaching this Irish forum, where some poor chap is actually wondering what the Wogan connection is.

The show has also started to feature on more and more adult-themed sites recently. I won’t link to all of these, as my long-suffering mother reads this weblog. I feel I must, however, point out the chap who left a link to this touching ode as part of his gushing comments in a porn queen’s guestbook.

‘I love those pictures of you doing your laundry in lingerie so much that I masturbate over them while listening to this song’… what a touching sentiment. I can’t help but wonder, though, exactly what this woman wears when washing her lingerie.

Total page views since launch: 40,710

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030604
The Political Weblog Movement
Time
14:49
OK, we’re ready to roll:

Write To Your Senator Today (So You Can Leave Comments On Their Weblog Tomorrow)

Right now I’m busy emailing a few folks what is smarter than me to see what they think of the campaign and if they want to get involved.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030604

Time
16:06
Greenpeace occupies new Home Office HQ.

Heh. Investigators discovered that the contractors building the place were using logged plywood from Indonesia’s last remaining rainforests, so they went in at 6am this morning and declared it to be an environmental crime scene.

The plywood is being used for the hoardings and to hold wet concrete in place. After which it will no doubt be thrown away – or used to board up the local McDonalds next May Day.

Asked in parliament about the protest, Tony Blair said: “It may be an issue to be brought up with the contractors rather than the government.”

More:

Clock ticking for Indonesian rainforest

Lumber and Paper Giants to Announce Ban of Indonesian Wood and Pulp

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030604
The Political Weblog Movement
Time
16:21
This blogger in India wrote to his local representative, and asked him to start a weblog.

This is really spooky. He did yesterday what I only started suggesting today – right down to repeating the letter on his blog. Looks like the time is now.

(Link lifted from Tom Watson.)

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030604

Time
17:15
In keeping with new FCC guidelines, this blog has now been sold to Fanapco. All opinions from this point on will carefully reflect those of the Fanapco corporation.

All hail Fanapco, and their mighty regime!

(Yours sincerely, Little Girl…)

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030605

Time
09:13
Have fun dragging a skeleton around. And shooting it. Against a naff flaming background.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030605

Time
09:14
Man who drove around blowing his horn so everyone would see him masturbate blames neglectful wife and mother. The man’s name, BTW, is one letter away from perfection.

Also on the roads: the 15-year-old stripper whose Mum drives her to work.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030605

Time
09:22
Today we learn from ambrosian.org that the only true path to God is staying a virgin. Forever.

Via the guestbook, I also found Celidate.org – a dating service for celibates (transitional or otherwise). ‘Otherwise’ would include (I’m guessing) the medically celibate, but these people have their own network.

BTW, while we’re on the subject of abstinence, can anyone tell me when the term ‘safe sex’ was casually replaced with ‘safer sex’…?

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030605

Time
09:35
For sale: unopened jar containing one (1) captured poltergeist.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030605
It’s War! And Somebody’s Going To Pay!
Time
09:37
Wolfowitz: Iraq war was about oil.

UPDATE – This story has since been withdrawn by The Guardian due to a slight (ahem) contextual problem. Read all about it here.

I like this article (requires subscription) that outlines not one, but four reasons why we had to go to war. No. 1 being that we had to slap someone around after 11/9 (please note the correct date formatting), not only for purposes of morale, but also to show the world who’s in charge.

Meanwhile, Tony Blair has agreed to an inquiry into alleged distortion of intelligence. The very idea of such an investigation (oh, I say…) was dismissed as ludicrous just over a month ago, but since then they’ve obviously got their sacrificial ducks in a row. Someone, somewhere down the line, is in for it. They just don’t know it yet. Tony, of course, will be astounded that someone in such a trusted position would deceive him and/or his staff over a matter of such importance.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030605

Time
09:55
Woman found bound to a picnic table with leather straps and being spanked with a boat oar claims incident has been blown out of proportion.

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Date
20030605

Time
09:58
This image was reportedly part of a BBC slide show before being quietly, but no too quickly, removed from the site. It spent most of yesterday doing the rounds, but has been repeated here for folks who don’t get out much. And because it still makes me laugh.

BTW, I first saw this at groovymother.com, where I also found this great t-shirt project at threadless.com where you can submit a t-shirt design via their online community. Then everybody votes, and at the end of the month the winning designs are available for sale. Genius, no?

Me, I’m still waiting for the return of Hypercolour.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030605

Time
10:08
Man steals bus. Follows route. Collects fares.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030605
Christianity Watch
Time
10:10
Christian group seeks temporary rollback of flight restrictions over Disneyland. It’s been a no-fly zone since March due to terrorism fears, but they want a temporary relaxation of the rules. Not much, just enough for them to fly a banner over Gay Day so their organisation can let the sexually misguided heathens know that, through Christ, they can be saved.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030605

Time
10:24
Barry Manilow walks into wall, breaks nose.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030605

Time
10:25
What is it with politicians and blowjobs this week? I just got a copy of this from my sister. The chap in the background is Peter ‘Lose’ Costello. The chap doing favours in the foreground is gnome-like ruler-for-life of the lesser colonies, John Howard. Looks like he’s up to his old tricks again.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030605

Time
10:40
Are Arabs warming to the U.S.? Survey says….

This is a little unfair. And potentially misleading. I suspect this negative result is mainly to do with Arabs being accosted in the street by loud people with clipboards asking: “Do you love America?”

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030605

Time
10:45
Copywriters mourn the loss of valuable words such as Free, Opportunity, Exciting and Credit. Spam gets the blame.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030605

Time
10:48
Teens teach FBI agents cyberspeak so they can pose as underage girlies and nab a few pervs. Also covered are important subjects such as fashion and the hipness of Justin Timberlake.

“They, like, don’t know anything,” said Mary, 14, giggling.

I swear that last bit is really in the article. Go look. Or find out how you should really talk to teens. I’d normally add ‘Not!’ here, but that’s, like, sooooo 90’s.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030605

Time
10:57
A ‘Worst-Case Scenario’ book is now available for those at risk in savage work environments. Is there a chapter on knife wounds to the back?

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030605
The Political Weblog Movement
Time
13:24
Some linkage supporting the campaign to get senators online with weblogs has come in from Martin, Scott, Steve and, of course, Tom – but so far Lance has had the most to say about the whole thing.

BTW, I’m tuned into BBC Radio 2 right now, as Tom is about to be interviewed on air about his weblog. Huzzah!

UPDATE – The interview resulted from Jeremy Vine’s attempt to find Britain’s most honest politician. Tom was nominated because of his weblog. If you’ve read Tom’s blog and think that he’s an exceptionally trustworthy chap (or at the very least that the weblog format is helping him to resist dark forces), then I urge you to contact the show and contribute/vote.

UPDATE 2 – A partial transcript of the inteview and some thoughts from me:

Tom Watson: Part of the reason to have an online journal, when you’re being interviewed… you only get two minutes to give an answer, but if you have an online journal you can show all the nuances and where you’re sharing policy dilemmas with people because quite often in politics, there’s not an absolute answer. There’s not just a ‘yes’ or a ‘no,’ there’s a ‘this is probably the best route to take,’ and it’s very difficult to get that across.

Jeremy Vine: But don’t politicians have to pretend there’s a straightforward ‘yes’ or a ‘no’?

Tom Watson: Well, some do, but I think those days are gone. I think people just want you to be straight with them about where you’re sharing the difficulties of government, and of course you can always get attacked for weakness there, but… if you’re straight about what might go right and what might go wrong, people pretty much take you on trust.

And of course, with the weblog format, we can track Tom’s position on any given subject with a few clicks and (shock!) make up our own minds instead of relying on the interpretations of journalists and editors. We can also (horror!) view other people’s comments on the matter and make a comment ourselves. On our own weblog or on his.

In short, Tom is no longer impossibly distant and reliant on one-way communications channels (often controlled by others with a distinct political agenda). He gets to communicate with us. En masse and directly. We get to see what’s going on and what shapes his decisions. We even get to see what other people think about that, be it positive or negative. Presented in the correct format and context, this is powerful stuff.

You and I have developed certain expectations about communication after exposure to the Internet. Sooner or later, all politicians will have live up to these expectations just to survive.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030605

Time
14:48
The 8 Mile online MC championship has some very good – and very bad – entries. I’m sure you can guess which ones I’m enjoying the most…

Basically you just line up someone to challenge and call your entry in by phone. Rappin’ on the cordless, baby. That’s so hardcore.

My favourite rap so far is short but sweet:

Jamma.

What a dilemma.

You go to the gym to get, um, slimmer.

Or, erm, thinner.

Weird, innit?

Because, otherwise, you’ve got another dilemma…

Jamma.

Innit?

I’m not to sure why I’m rapping, or who I’m rapping to.

So that’s about my crew.

But why don’t you just f**k off?

Yeah, that’s right, you…


(contestant hangs up, leaving backing track to continue all on its lonesome)

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030605

Time
17:03
Oh dear. Turbo10.com (‘a contender for the Google crown,’ according to The Register) has melted. It still delivers an entry page if you treat it gently, but errors abound with the simplest of searches.

I may go back and try to evaluate it again later. Or I may not.

OK, the follow-up article by Andrew Orlowski claiming that it’s the result of sabotage by bloggers goes live 5, 4, 3…

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030605

Time
18:02
Planning on a quiet night in? Order one of these video blockbusters from the U.S. Secret Service and get a free Dominos Pizza voucher. Maybe.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030606

Time
08:46
Seems everyone is trying to get a piece of ‘ghost in a jar’ action. A lot of tossers are just using the keywords on unrelated goods, but today’s search does turn up some useful items, such as this Ghost in a Jar Vacation Home (i.e. an empty jar). The search has appeared at Fark (see related thread), and auctions have started turning up for jars in ghosts, homeless ghosts looking for a jar and the inevitable Ghost in a Jar-Jar. I’m still waiting for ‘goatse in a jar.’

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030606

Time
09:12
Teenager wins lying contest; plans to go into politics. Well, that’s a side-splitter if ever I heard one.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030606
Riding High on Blogdex
Time
09:16
Executive Editor of The New York Times and Top Deputy Step Down. That’s actually at the NYT site, so if you haven’t registered, you won’t be able to read it. Sorry. Why not read about it on CNN instead?

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030606

Time
09:19
19-year-old porn star runs for mayor. Regrets, I’ve had a few…

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030606

Time
09:22
Is Lying About The Reason For War An Impeachable Offense?

The discussion thread relating to this legal opinion piece (see link at bottom of page) includes the following comment of great wonder and beauty:

“Being a strong leader is only a good thing when that leader takes the nation in the correct direction and not over a cliff.”

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030606

Time
09:31
Gag-order on journalists at tech-conference bypassed by bloggers. Ah, we’re not journalists, you see. No, don’t start up with that – you can’t have it both ways.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030606

Time
09:35
Convicted heroin dealer alllowed to claim massive tax deduction on money lost in drug deal.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030606

Time
09:37
OAPS fail to give good reason for sex act in fast food restaurant. Insert obvious joke here.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030606
Flash Games
Time
09:39
Here’s a cool football game to brighten your Friday. You’re welcome.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030606

Time
09:42
It was via FunJunkie that I discovered the wonderfully diverting Buzzometer, a special web tool that measures buzzword density on any site you choose to point it to. On yesterday’s bloggage I scored a respectable 161. Today, a whopping 304.

The coolest thing is that it generates Buzzometer reporting links for every hyperlink that turns up on a page it has scanned. This means that you can just follow your nose and surf as normal, but get that all-important buzzword data every step of the way.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030606
Yet Another Lame Quiz
Time
09:53
Finally, a personality quiz that dares to tell the truth.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030606
Photoshopping
Time
09:54
To all those hoping and praying for an end to The Star Wars Photoshopping Project

…I would like to apologise for getting your hopes up.

“No, *no*, Luke I Am…”

Big’un was released last night on B3ta.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030606
Ghost In A Jar
Time
14:17
What can I say? I’m a sucker for a bandwagon. For sale: Ghost of Weapons of Mass Destruction in a Jar

Contains one (1) figment of the imagination and some recycled material. (Auction has now been removed – see below.)

UPDATE – Ahahahahahaha! I missed this one: Ghost in a Jar – movie rights. Also doing well is the “Free The Ghost In A Jar” Bumper Sticker. It’s too early for a plethora of related search results in Google (look tomorrow), but Usenet is buzzing with spectators.

There are already a bunch of domain name speculators selling related domains. You should also keep an eye out for keyword/query speculators producing optimised ‘ghost in a jar’ pages (that have nothing to do with ghosts in jars, but will offer exciting alternative opportunities). Ditto for Adwords and the like. Finally, your first attention-getting ‘Ghost In A Jar’ spam header should arrive sometime before Sunday afternoon. You have been warned.

It’s here, folks. The ‘All Your Base’ of 2003. We can go home now.

UPDATE 2 – Ebay obviously have difficulty recognising a valid work of art. I’ve replied to the following email with a very strong complaint.

—– Original Message —–

From:

Sent: Saturday, June 07, 2003 4:14 AM

Subject: PI NOTICE: eBay Auction Ended by Customer Support – Joke Auctions

–> 2933435358 Ghost of Weapons of Mass Destruction in a Jar has been ended.

–> All fees associated with this auction have been credited to your account.

–> The item you have listed does not appear to be consistent with eBay guidelines.

–> eBay does not allow listings that are intended as jokes or which feature items,

–> such as “Ghosts in Jars.”

–> Should you wish to relist your item, please remove any references to “Ghosts in

–> Jars.”

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030606

Time
15:55
Whatever you do, do not push this button.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030606

Time
15:56
OK, that’s pretty much it from me for a few days. I’m flying off to Boston on Sunday for the ClickZ Weblog Business Strategies 2003 Conference & Expo and I won’t get back here until Wednesday.

Bloggage may be light as a result, but I’ll try to stay in touch.

This is the first time I’ve been on a plane since you-know-when. Nothing to do with fear, mind, I’m just not as windswept and interesting as some of you.

Still, a pilot gave me some good advice about air travel safety a long time ago, and I do plan on following it:

Always – always – sit somewhere at the back. There has never been a recorded instance of a plane reversing into a mountain.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030608
Boston
Time
18:45
Hey, I’m here. I landed. In one piece, too. You can all relax now.

I enjoyed a lovely chicken dinner on the plane. The guy sitting in front of me got to wear his.

I also read in someone’s copy of the Sunday Express (note: Richard Desmond is a pornographer) that a production company is floating the idea of a political edition/version of Big Brother – and that Tom was considering taking part.

Honestly, I can’t leave you people alone for a second…

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030609

Time
10:04
It’s 5am in the morning here. I’m seriously jetlagged and – as a keyboard basher of some years – the need to be vewy, vewy quiet is slowing me down some. Hang in there.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030609
The Political Weblog Movement
Time
10:32
Off to the first day of the weblog conference in a few hours. I’m certainly looking forward to meeting Doc Searls.

BTW, the Doc blogged the following yesterday:

“Let’s face it: Blogs today are still unnecessary and insufficient for electing a damn soul. At best they’ll become necessary but still insufficient.

“Winning in elections, like winning in markets, requires something more than conversation, more than buzz. It requires involvement. Relationship. Connecting and reconnecting. Performing, and not just in the box office sense of that word.”

I’d agree wholeheartedly that blogs are likely to be misinterpreted by many politicians as a fundraising wonder and perhaps even a delivery system for the same old happy-slappy crap. Maybe they’ll even find a willing audience. Howard Dean has.

However, for those that do get it, blogs are going to act as one hell of a catalyst, as they allow a politician to (finally) realistically deliver the dynamite combination of access and involvement.

I really think that a significant shift is possible – and I’m inclined to think that this will happen faster in the political arena than it will in the commercial (not that the two are entirely separate these days). The invention of moveable type presented many opportunities to entrepreneurs of the day, but those who used it to press for social change had the earliest and most widespread successes.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030609

Time
10:34
“Jonah did not know it was unusual for a ten-year-old boy to have an eight-inch penis…”

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030609
Bad Monkeys
Time
10:37
1. Mother watches helplessly as baboon snatches her child and eats his brain.

2. Monkeypox hits Midwest America.

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Date
20030609
It’s War! And Somebody’s Going To Pay!
Time
11:06
Mark Steyn suggests in this Torygraph opinion piece that:

“the WMD song and dance is irrelevant, both de facto and de jure.. And as politics, two months after victory, it’s pathetically immature.”

Well, I know you are Mark, but what am I?

What a load of utter codswollop.

The action was illegal. Saddam is gone (well, missing at least) but the precedent set and the damage done to international relations by the Vigilante Justice League is going to have far more serious consequences than chemical/biological weapons that may or may not have existed and a few rusty missles that went 20 miles further than they should have.

The war itself, and the way in which it was pushed forward, requires some serious focus. Not least because it may just show people how often – and how effectively – we are lied to by those we trust with our lives.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030609

Time
11:55
Yesterday myself, Rod from GroovyMother and Scott from The Ultimate Insult all sat around the one table and enjoyed some facetime.

I regret to announce that we failed to set the world to rights (on this occasion at least) due to the overwhelming distraction of the recent smoking ban.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030610

Time
04:27
Xxxx me, what a day.

What to say, and what not to say…

One of the best moments for me today was when Xxxx hesitated quiteshortlybutstillnoticeably before announcing that Xxxx was introducing a xxxx xxxx. It made everything very clear to me.

Tomorrow, I’ll have the opportunity to speak on issues involving the use of weblogs in large IT organisations. One issue proposed for discussion is choosing the right model of moderation/management.

In the case of Chris Chambers, they chose the right man. Beyond being an NBB (‘Natural Born Blogger’- look it up sometime soon), Chris was an individual with the intuition to know instinctively and immediately what – and what wasn’t – right for publication. He was the right man to do the job all on his lonesome, and management knew it.

This meant that he could get on with his job without the kind of interference from management/marketing/PR that might otherwise rob him of the natural voice that made what he did so effective.

As Xxxx proved when Xxxxxx xxxxx the xxxx: ‘control’ is visible. And nobody likes it.

You only have to see the strings once to never look at a puppet show the same way again.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030610
Cheesecake?
Time
04:41
Sorry, I’m more into beefcake

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030610

Time
11:59
It is a bloody glorious morning here in Boston. I took a few minutes to explore the Christian Wrestling Federation (click the ‘Meet Jesus’ link for more joy), but life is too short to go any further.

(Note for new readers: when bloggage fails, see the archives or ‘stuff’.)

Right now I’m going to take time out to appreciate the wonderful water pressure folks enjoy in this part of town, then get down to the conference.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030610

Time
14:52
Jason Shellen of Blogger has just stated ‘for the record and once & for all’ that Google is not (repeat NOT) removing blogs from their database. In fact, Google is quite keen on the recency and relevance of the information they provide.

Told you so. Nyer, etc.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030611
Tony Blair’s Email
Time
11:30
I arrived at Heathrow this morning, and was in a pretty good mood until I read in the Guardian that Shadow Secretary of State for Trade & Industry Tim Yeo had ‘uncovered’ Tony Blair’s failure to connect to the world via email.

I get testy at the best of times when someone rips me off, but there are a number of added factors that make me almost ropeable about this:

1. It’s a pretty cheap copy (he set up the email address rthontonyblairmp@hotmail.com).

3. Unlike Sue Doughty and Tom Watson, who have actually taken action with parliamentary questions on the matter, Tim has obviously set up this action as a cheap stunt to gain a few column inches.

3. It’s all very well and good to criticise Tony Blair for his e-failures, but Tim Yeo’s web presence appears to be limited to this page at e-politics and this page at the Conservatives website.

Hello Mr Pot? There’s a call for you on line two from Mr Kettle. Also, this clue just arrived by mail. What would you like me to do with it?

I try to stick by the rule of never emailing when angry, so Tim won’t be hearing from me today… but I do intend to point out to him that if he really wants to embrace new technology, then he should get off his arse and start a weblog.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030611
Riding High on Blogdex
Time
12:01
Heh. A day after talking with David Winer about a certain crappy parody of his site, this tops the chart at Blogdex.

I’ll be writing about the conference (the fun stuff and the serious stuff) sometime soon, but right now my body needs to sleep.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030611
Tony Blair’s Email
Time
19:07
Now the BBC has picked up the scrag end of this story (thanks to Al Storer for the heads-up). However, to their credit, they’ve not mentioned the lame Hotmail stunt.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030612

Time
10:47
My body clock is still adjusting and my brain is overflowing. I’ll try to spill a few things out here, just to equalise the pressure so I can get on with my day:

Trip Notes

1. Here’s a picture of the poor guy in front of me who wore dinner down his back. This hot chicken dish with a very messy tomato sauce could just have easily ended up on my lap.

2. Never travel by plane with even the slightest sinus condition unless it’s well-medicated, or the descent from 30,000ft will causes stabbing needle-like pains to repeatedly punch through your forehead and eyeballs and leave a residual headache that can last for up to 2 hours.

3. The I-94W Nonimmigrant Visa Waiver Arrival Form asked quite a few questions on the back, but this was the one that tickled/troubled me the most:

“D. Have you ever been or are you now involved in espionage or sabotage; or in terrorist activities; or genocide; or between 1933 and 1945 were you involved, in any way, in persecution associated with Nazi Germany or its allies?

4. Scott was kind enough to put me up (and put up with me) for the duration. He is a gent of the highest order and I really enjoyed spending time with him and his kin.

5. I also met up with Rod from groovymother.com (who, you may note, found my comments on the I-94W form we shared in a bar blogworthy) and Steve from Off On A Tangent, who was my guest at the conference. Steve was kind enough to furnish me with a recording of the segment of his radio show where JPEG Baby got an airing.

Conference Notes

1. The weblog conference was big on evangelism in the first day, but moved more onto some serious discussion of business applications in day two. Politics also got a late look-in.

2. Many, many folks blogged their comments and reactions live, but David Weinberger has by far the most comprehensive blow-by-blow of proceedings.

3. BTW, my rather scuffed copy of The Cluetrain Manifesto has now been personally signed by David, who has a doctorate, and Doc, who does not.

4. The biggest struggle at the conference was finding precedent to reference. Adoption of this no-brainer is painfully slow across the globe. It’s nice to know that I’m not alone on this front. When I get a chance, I’m thinking of writing an article on the benefits of early adoption. There’s a honeymoon period going on right now that makes the proposal of going live with a weblog much more attractive – but it’s not going to last.



5. Those of you who have met me more than once in the past will probably be aware that I change my business card design (based on photoshopping activity) on a regular basis. The current design looks to be a ‘keeper’ for now. It turned a few heads and raised more than a few laughs. I even got a nice email from Christopher Lydon who thought it was a real hoot. Besides featuring one of the most viral images I’ve created in the last 12 months, this design is also in keeping with the current political push here at Bloggerheads. And it’s got red-hot nipple action.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030612
Flash Music Video
Time
11:03
JPEG Baby linkage looks to be tailing off, but the song has today reached an audience in Lithuania, which is pretty cool. The American market remains largely uncracked.

Total page views to date: 50,448

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030612
Tony Blair’s Email
Time
11:34
And what happens when I finally calm down enough to draft an email to Tim Yeo?

1. The Register (who really have been slipping of late) pander to this stuntmaster without even mentioning the core campaign or – in what should be an obvious move for such mischief makers – that an email-to-facsimile address exists.

2. But what really got on my tits, ladies and gentlemen, was this repeat of the story on the Conservatives website that closes with the smug:

“By contrast, Conservative leader Iain Duncan Smith is fully contactable by email and has a dedicated correspondence team to help him keep in touch with party members and the public.”

I got in touch with the Conservative party last year in search of a little backing – well before the whole thing descended into a pornfest – but was informed that they didn’t want to get involved because Iain Duncan Smith has a 0% response rating to emails and faxes, and they were afraid that Labour would bounce straight back with this.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030612
It’s War! And Somebody’s Going To Pay!
Time
13:01
US prints Saddam banknotes. Thanks to Mark for pointing this one out. Irony is our greatest weapon.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030612
Tony Blair’s Email
Time
13:31
Thanks to Al Storer (again) I’ve found out that The Guardian has grabbed the wrong end of the stick – again. Sure, it’s a mildly amusing angle, but as I made clear in these published specifications Tony does not require an email address; he requires an email facility.

My request to other journalists and politicians who may latch onto this is simple:

If you’re not willing to put forward realistic proposals or actually make anything happen, then please stay the fuck out of it.

UPDATE – Also stay out of it if you’re a bloody hypocrite. The article linked above – penned by one Blake Morrison – closes by with the following:

“All suggestions gratefully received. No postcards, though – only email.”

And which email address should I send my suggestions to, Blake? There’s none listed in the print or online version of the article.

UPDATE 2 – I neglected to mention (thanks, Molina) that journalists at The Guardian are normally contactable by firstname.lastname@guardian.etc (or, in some cases, first initial and last name) but I tried both b.morrison@guardian.co.uk and blake.morrison@guardian.co.uk ahead of making this post and both bounced. And before anybody emails, I’ve already been in touch with the Blake Morrison who writes for USA Today and they’re not the same person. So don’t go bugging him. You may, however, choose to take the logical step of writing to the Guardian’s editor, or the features desk at G2 (where the article appeared) via g2 AT guardian DOT co DOT uk – which is what I’ll be doing in 5, 4, 3, 2…

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030612
A Blog Is Born
Time
14:22
Less than an hour ago, Al Storer and I were exchanging emails about Tony Blair and weblogs in general. He’d been thinking about putting up a weblog for ages, but was worried that, as he was off for a 3-month holiday soon, now may not have been the best time.

I emailed him back and told him to do it anyway. Now. You don’t have to post every day to run a weblog and holidays are fine (at least by my standards). He said he’d think about it. 35 minutes later he emailed me the URL of his brand new weblog.

This makes me very happy. Right now I’m off to insert proper link credits into the relevant Blair posts. Because I can.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030612
Tony Blair’s Email: Letters Special
Time
16:21
This comment following Tom’s post on this subject is simply brilliant. I am in Dr Funk’s debt, and currently kicking myself for not thinking of this yesterday…

—– Original Message —–

From: Tim Ireland

To: abuse@hotmail.com

Sent: Thursday, June 12, 2003 4:20 PM

Subject: Fake Tony Blair Address

Dear Sirs,

The following articles clearly show that the account rthontonyblairmp@hotmail.com has been set up in violation of your terms of service, in that it has been used to ‘create a false identity for the purpose of misleading others.’

http://politics.guardian.co.uk/labour/story/0,9061,974811,00.html

http://www.conservatives.com/news/article.cfm?obj_id=63596

http://www.theregister.co.uk/content/6/31142.html

Wide publication of this address also threatens to overburden or impair the associated network.

I am requesting that the account be deactivated immediately and that notification be sent to the service provider via webmaster@parliament.uk

Regards,

Tim Ireland

http://www.bloggerheads.com/

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030612
Atticus Finch is a Nigger-Lover
Time
18:49
Gregory Peck has just passed way at age 87.

I saw The Omen on television the night before To Kill a Mockingbird was shown at school, so this had me expecting a number of things from young Scout that Just. Didn’t. Happen.

It kind of ruined the film for me on the day, but a re-read of the book and a rental on VHS had me well sorted a decade later.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030612

Time
22:03
I still have to poke around a bit more and trial a few bits and bobs over time (plus wait for a few others by the look of things), but Technorati looks to be the most promising blog tracking tool in a dog’s age.

It’s dynamite stuff. I can’t believe I had to go to Boston to find out about it! Tomorrow I’ll be playing with the new keyword search.

If it continues to impress at this level, it’ll be on my nav-bar within a week.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030613

Time
08:27
How good is Technorati? Well, Al Storer went live with a new weblog yesterday and Technorati had it indexed within 12 hours. Later today, I’m going to have a play with the new keyword search.

BTW, it was via Al’s new blog that I discovered the wonderful Voter Apathy Party. How do you combat voter apathy? Well, talking to us like we’re human beings would be a good start.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030613

Time
08:37
Qwest fired an entire telemarketing firm after a representative left a ‘threatening, expletive-laden message’ on the voice-mail of a call recipient who dared to hang up on him.

Been there. Done that.

Mine even took the number home so his father could shout at me some more.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030613
Flash Games
Time
08:43
Play Wild West (Pepsi) Pinball (link via flabber.nl).

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030613

Time
08:48
U.S. Patent # 6,485,773: Semen taste-enhancement dietary supplement.

Not the first product of its kind, and pretty dull to boot. Now, a dietary supplement that tasted of semen – that I could see a market for. You could call them Protein Slurpees.

Seeing as I’ve already made you spill your tea, here’s some advice on shaving your pubic hair. This site not only has a cool hairy puppet as a mascot, it prides itself on featuring ‘different methods of hair removal with a special concentration on areas that others don’t like to talk about.’

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030613
Tony Blair’s Email
Time
09:00
I suppressed my rage just long enough to send a short email to Tim Yeo yesterday (see Wednesday and Thursday in the archives if you missed the fun). He has yet to get back to me.

Perhaps someone should get in touch with the man and warn him that when I get ignored Mr Bigglesworth gets angry…

BTW, like most people, I have tracking that lets me know who’s watching. Yesterday, page views of Bloggerheads from parliament.uk increased tenfold. Hello everybody. While I have your attention…

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030613

Time
09:09
Microphone stand impales pregnant woman.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030613

Time
09:11
Adam Ant appears to be settling down. He’s moved on from going beserk in pubs to going beserk in cafes.



UPDATE – Tee-hee! Look what happens when you search for ‘Stuart Goddard’ in Google.

I really must do something about Celebrity Bestiality soon. This was my first major experiment in SEO and was very useful in its day, but lately I just can’t be arsed to make up bestial nonsense each and every month.

After months of neglect it’s still No. 3 for the search term ‘bestiality’ in Google. A lot of this comes down to a little-known aspect of Google’s ranking algorithm relating to site/index history. I created CB almost 4 years ago – well before most porn merchants cottoned onto the fact that there was a widely-used alternate spelling of the word ‘beastiality’ – and have pretty much been updating it with fresh content on a monthly basis since then.

This puts it in a position that’s pretty hard to beat without a time machine. Fresh content each month would keep it exactly where it is indefinitely, but as I said; I simply cannot be arsed these days. I’m wondering right now if I should sell it to a porn merchant or just let it die a natural death.

Actually, let’s make it the subject of some Friday Feeback. It’s been a while, and I think I need a little moral guidance. Should I get back to work on it, sell it off, let it die, or do something else? Emails to the usual address.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030613
Riding High on Blogdex
Time
09:14
The trouble with trackback. It’s long and boring, but kind of important.

If you understand all of that (or perhaps feel in some vague way that you need to) then you may also wish to take in the AlwaysOn debate.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030613

Time
09:15
Martha sings!

Wing sings!

Wingdings!

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030613

Time
09:22
I barely had time to scratch my bum in Boston, but if I’d found a lazy hour or so, I would have been on a Boston Duck Tour in a shot.

Along the roads, past the sights, then straight into the river for more of the same. Is there something like this in London? If not – why not?

UPDATE – Hooray, there is! (Matt and Al submitted links within 10 seconds of each other.)

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030613

Time
09:29
Nigel Turner wants to put black into the Jack. Can we also have a little green dot to represent the shape-shifting aliens that secretly rule our lives? How about a brown smear to celebrate the bullshit thrown about in this great nation of ours?

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030613

Time
09:43
Jesus Christ: the press conference. I remember when advertising guru Siimon Reynolds (please note wanky spelling of name) was asked on a chat show to come up with a slogan for the second coming. He earned my respect for all of 11.5 seconds with this:

‘Jesus Christ; Thank God He’s Back!’

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030613
Tony Blair’s Email
Time
10:00
Blair email ‘discovery’ used as intro for spam article. The Guardian. Again. Neil, if you’re watching, can you send a memo around or something?

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030613
Flash Music Video
Time
10:03
Some forum love for JPEG Baby has been coming in from BeyondUnreal/Jolt and the Wil Wheaton forum. Also, here’s a bunch of people saying nice things about it in Italian. Total page views since launch: 51,751

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030613

Time
10:18
Job of lord chancellor abolished after 1,400 years; Law lords to be replaced by US-style supreme court.

Australians got a fair bit of stick for ‘voting to keep the Queen,’ but they only did so because Little Johnny Howard made damn sure that the alternative model proposed in the referendum was a presidential one. I’m not a big fan of the monarchy or outmoded institutions in general, but I do think there’s a need for safety valves – especially with a blinkered leader like Blair in charge. I’m not the only one who’s more than a little bit worried about this development.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030613
Friday Feedback
Time
10:43
I’ve got a new song in my head, but to bring it to life I need someone who can perform and record a jolly good cover of The Dandy Warhols’ Bohemian Like You. Any takers?

If this isn’t you, then don’t panic. You still get to send me email. See the updated post about halfway down the page relating to Celebrity Bestiality.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030616

Time
08:25
Coca-Cola delivery sacked after 12 years of service for drinking Pepsi on the job.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030616
Photoshopping
Time
08:27
I really must look in at Worth1000 more often. This competition is pretty flat as far as variety goes, but the work itself is just wonderful: What do you think Martha’s cell would look like?

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030616
Does What It Says On The Tin
Time
08:31
Hot on the heels of rent-a-negro.com comes downwithwhitey.com

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Date
20030616

Time
08:32
Virgin Mary appears in hospital window. And here’s a picture, boys and girls…

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Date
20030616
Flash Music Video
Time
08:34
Have we done Poland yet? Oh, and after weeks of two links here and three links there, JPEG Baby has finally entered the Blogdex chart – at #32. Total page views since launch: 53,206.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030616

Time
08:42
Man arrested in million dollar eBay fraud. Lots of thousand-dollar laptops never arrived.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030616

Time
08:43
Sausages for lunch, anyone?

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030616

Time
08:44
A fine collection of screen captures of farewell messages from failed dotcoms. The final message from misguided keyword ownership venture Realnames is my favourite. They just can’t believe it.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030616

Time
08:48
This is why you never see an actual picture of the product on the front of a sex-doll box. Unsurprisingly, they’re all rubbish. The Dyanna Lauren Fantasy Doll has an artifical vagina where her bellybutton should be.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030616
The Political Weblog Movement
Time
09:29
This looks to be the week where we might actually make a breakthrough. A lot of people, some prompted by me, some not, are waking up to the political applications of weblogs. Some have done so without even realising it:

“A third part of the answer lies in ministers’ own hands too. As well as listening to criticism, they have got to find a way of addressing the public more credibly. They have to find a way of being more grown-up in public. This means seriously dismantling parts of the centralised on-message culture to allow politicians to admit to uncertainty, error and ambivalence. The trust issue will never recover without such a loosening up.

“But the need to engage has to go much wider. Last week, the Hansard Society published a pamphlet, A Tale of Two Houses, which suggests ways in which the political class as a whole can open its mind and its eyes to the Big Brother generation. Politicians, suggests the author, should do far more to show that they live in the same world as the millions who live in this instantly connected world. Not necessarily to be like them, but certainly to know what it is like to be them.”

Some, however, have already got the wrong end of this bloody stick I’ve been gnawing on for what seems like forever.

Tom Watson gets it. Gary Hart gets it. Howard Dean does not.

By engaging their audiences directly, people like Tom and Gary have built up a natural network of support in a very short time. Howard Dean does not publish his thoughts directly, and so his support network has far less to go on. Their pleading posts to Usenet (and often directly to me) to visit and/or include a link to his so-called weblog read like associate spam. Why? Because his blog lacks personal content (and, therefore, the correct context).

I’m going to be in touch with Andrew Pinder’s office this week to see if we can’t bring something solid together here in the UK. His department is in charge of leading the e-volution of government services, they’re long-overdue for a well-publicised winning initiative, and this one is a no-brainer.

A ‘Weblogs for MPs’ intitiave also sets an excellent precedent for the senatorial weblog drive.

However, it’s also very easy to get this kind of thing very, very wrong.

It won’t be enough to simply make the technology available (although I do have plans to make it more accessible). An MP needs to know what a weblog is and why he/she needs it before theirs will come to life. The drive of the individual is all-important. (I’ve been congratulated in the past for ‘getting an MP to blog,’ but I have to point out that Tom Watson came to me knowing exactly what he wanted to do and why he wanted to do it.)

The existence of Tom’s blog makes the whole thing a lot easier to understand, especially as he’s doing so well at it. The main part of this drive, then, is finding a few more folks who can lead by example. I hate to sound on-message about this, but it’s ‘hearts and minds’ time, people.

Tom’s weblog has not only shown us what press clippings and soundbites cannot (that he’s a real person who faces real challenges) he’s brought a number of documents to light that – while being publicly available – often do not reach their audience as they seem terribly abstract when not presented in context (or are hidden away, buried deep in massive databases).

If Tom works on a document or makes a decision based on it, then he links to it. That’s engaging. I’ve read a number of things via his weblog that I normally wouldn’t have bothered to look up. Because I’m interested in him, I’m interested in what he’s doing.

Another reason for Andrew Pinder’s office to get involved. This will be a win well beyond a simple matter of accessibility. It will also breath life into many past initiatives (such as those web-accessible government reports and other such documents that are currently wasting away in the ether).

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Date
20030616
Tony Blair’s Email
Time
12:43
Still no word from Tim Yeo. I wonder if he reads his email?

Has anybody else emailed him and actually received a reply?

PS – Thanks for the weekend feedback. It looks like Celebrity Bestiality is destined for ebay.

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Date
20030616

Time
13:00
Twice since Friday I’ve had to send polite emails to Labour MPs who are requesting inclusion at Tom’s list of Labour MPs online, warning them that it is not a smart idea to have a domain name with ‘mp’ in it.

When an election is announced, you lose the status of being an active MP. Even if you get voted straight back in, this still means that you legally have to relocate the website at what is a very crucial time. Not smart. Ann Widdecombe came a cropper on this technicality during the last election, but she still hasn’t learned her lesson.

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Date
20030616

Time
13:31
Cool. I rated a mention in the weblog conference wrap-up. Thanks, Rebecca. There’s a crisp twenty in the mail.

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Date
20030616

Time
13:47
Labour website hacked; photoshopped images planted. Mum, I swear I had nothing to do with it. Really.








Posted in Uncategorized | Comments Off

Hollywood Sites, Hollywood URLs

The folks in Hollywood need a serious clue regarding the location and promotion of official movie websites. Most promotional material will drive you via one of the following methods… (Hulk used as example, because Hulk good. Hulk understand.)

‘AOL keyword: hulk’
‘Visit the official website at the thehulk.com’

In this case, the studio was lucky enough to be able to secure a solid and direct domain name, but in most cases, the studio would be reduced to using a URL like:

thehulkthemovie.com

All of this activity is a complete waste of time and money, and shows no concern for long-term strategy. Here’s why:

– In most cases, people do not navigate by URL. Even if they think that they know the URL, they will more often than not search for that URL in a search engine – usually Google.

– AOL is powered by Google. What the bloody hell are you wasting money on an AOL Keyword for?

– The precedent of location by named URL is open to use or abuse by cybersquatters, opportunists, and genuine fan sites. Even if you have the time and money to hassle such people, you can’t fight them all (and in some cases you haven’t got a leg to stand on). In this case, there is a notable fan site located at hulkmovie.com – and it’s very hard to see the difference between the two sites at first glance.

– This approach does not take full advantage of the link popularity generated by interest in any given movie.

If you run the official movie site, you would (or should) be the top search result in Google for searches relating to that movie, due to the official site being linked to from heavy-duty sites such as the IMDB and a bunch of other smaller sites – that’s the way Google works. It’s also why 90% of your search traffic will come from Google in one way or another.

(The Google system works better than any other, that’s why portals such as Yahoo! and AOL have been forced to integrate it into their systems. If anything comes along one day to beat Google, it will do so by beating Google at its own game. The approach of feeding valid content and generating link popularity is a sound one, and pretty much future-proof.)

Right now, most studio and/or movie sites are flash-heavy and impossible to index. That’s the first thing that’s got to change.

Phase One – Opening Up To Indexing

Urgh! Hulk released by Universal Pictures. Hulk look at Universal Picture site. Site make heavy use of Flash and not fully indexable. Google not able to see in and feed relevant information to Hulk when Hulk search for specific movies or other stuff Hulk need to know. Hulk go to Hulk site and Universal site and have no idea that studio also make good movie Bruce Almighty!

Folks, we know you often make excellent movies and spend lots of money on them. You do not need to impress us with great swathes of Flash. You certainly shouldn’t use Flash for primary navigation. Flatten it out, invite the indexing robots in. This allows people to navigate their way directly to the most relevant section of your site via a Google search.

You also need to remember that they call the main page an ‘index’ page for a reason. There should be navigation to every primary section of the site (with highlighted versions of the most popular/useful sections) right there on this front page.

Keep it simple. You’re big enough to get away with it, and we’re too cynical to be impressed by anything OTT.

Right. Once you’ve got that sorted out, you can move onto the most critical phase of this strategy:

Phase Two – Hosting Movie Microsites at Studio URLs

Forget all of that buying domain names rubbish. The hosting/naming format you need to adapt as the norm is as follows:

universalstudios.com/hulk
universalstudios.com/bruce_almighty
etc.

Why is this important?

– It makes it immediately clear which is the official site and which isn’t in any given set of results.
– This location will still be the top search result for queries relating to the movie.
– Using a folder approach such as this allows you to take long-term advantage of resulting link popularity.

Google not only takes note of who links to your site; Google remembers. Link activity around universalstudios.com/hulk not only benefits this specific location, but also the overall ranking of other material hosted at the core URL.

Why is this important?

There are other smaller movies that you release that may not receive significant link attention, but Google will regard your site overall to be a rich source of information, and will therefore rank you highly for any other information you choose to host correctly under this URL. This goes not only for specific movie titles, but general queries relating to types of movies (more on this later in Phase Four).

Phase Three – Microsite Format and Evolution

It’s all very well and good having a big Flash presentation, but the introductory page for any given movie needs to be standardised, indexable, concise and text-based. There will be other search queries relating to different aspects of the movie (such as those relating to the director or star) and you’ll want to collect a few punters on the basis of these searches as well.

This approach also allows you to present information about other movies from your studio that may be on the same theme, by the same director, or featuring the same star(s).

This page can then evolve with the needs of the film. A quick and quiet location detector can tell you which country the visitor is in, so it’s a snap to feed them info such as:

– When it will be released in cinemas, and where it can be seen.
– When it will be available on video/DVD, and where it can be purchased.
– When it will be on cable/pay-per-view, and which channel it will be on.
– When it will be on terrestrial television, and which channel it will be on.

All of this opens the way for some healthy partnerships. Why should the Internet Movie Database have all the fun? It’s your movie, right?

Also, most movie sites will arrive with a splash and then be suddenly withdrawn. Some may stay or return for a DVD release, but more often than not a new site is built for this purpose – usually at a new location. This is not only wasteful; it tends to piss fans off.

Again, it’s your movie. For as long as there is a fan base for that movie, your studio site needs to be the primary source of information. Feel free to change, reduce or improve the content as time goes by, but keep it in one location, FFS!

It saves you money, done right it stands to actually make you money, and further down the line it makes it easier for you to promote smaller movies, the inevitable sequels to your main movies, and – most important all, I would argue – related movies:

Phase Four – Generic Search Terms

Over half a million people search for ‘action movie’ or ‘action movies’ each and every month. Where is your ‘Universal Studios – Action Movies’ page?

Sure, it’s a pretty generic search term and saturation is high (Hulk say: saturation mean when big lot of people fight for top result on same search term) but we’re talking about some hefty cumulative link popularity here – you stand a much better chance of winning this battle than most independent sites.

That’s half a million people – using one generic search term – each and every month. Why aren’t you introducing these people to your wonderful selection of movies?

Do your mainstream promotion right and people will seek a particular movie out. This is to be expected. Top search results for this movie can almost be guaranteed. Let’s take that as a given.

However, you’re not reaching the people who may not even be aware that any given movie exists! Your current Internet strategy relies heavily on offline expenditure. Assemble and present your assets correctly, and this can change.








Posted in Search Engine Optimisation | Comments Off

16-31 May, 2003

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Date
20030516
Riding High on Blogdex
Time
08:41
The resume of George W. Bush tops the chart admirably – and deservedly – today.

I’m still coming to grips with this:

‘Produced a Hollywood slasher B movie.’

Really? No… it has to be some kind of bad joke, surely.

The IMDB has quite an interesting listing for Dubya, but I see no mention of a slasher movie. I’ll go Googling later this morning to see if I can’t discover the truth.

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Date
20030516

Time
08:49
Pensacola police officer resigns after making a 16-year-old girl perform jumping jacks while topless. Officer Shields threatened the girl (and a 19-year-old lad in her company) with arrest for ‘lewd and lascivious behaviour.’ The topless exercise routine was his idea of a suitable on-the-spot punishment. He resigned 30 minutes ahead of being sacked. No doubt he looks forward to a new career in mall security, where he will find wicked, quivering teen flesh in abundance.

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Date
20030516

Time
08:57
I felt a great disturbance in the force. As though dozens of cows cried out in terror, and were suddenly silenced.

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Date
20030516

Time
09:01
The French government believes it is the victim of an ‘organized campaign of disinformation’ from within the Bush administration. I’m simply not prepared to believe that…

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Date
20030516

Time
09:03
After 7 years of legal wrangling, the Utah Supreme Court has finally ruled that cats are not dogs.

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Date
20030516

Time
09:05
More on Matrix Reloaded: ‘We waited four years for this?’

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Date
20030516

Time
09:06
I got a fair amount of stick down at the local pub for taking along a few print-outs of online articles telling the truth about Jessica Lynch’s ‘heroic’ rescue. Couldn’t be real. Any joker could have written it. Etc.

Yesterday, I went down there with a genuine newspaper.

The reaction?

“Well, what do you expect? It’s the Guardian!”

No wonder Tony and George are so confident that they’ll get away with their illegal war. They have the majority of media owners and controllers onside, and everybody trusts their favourite newspaper. Besides, they all saw it on TV – which makes it real, right?

Anyway, we didn’t have a choice. We had to deal with them there Weapons of Mass Destruction, right? Wrong.

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Date
20030516

Time
09:16
Sex: the new rules (at least for those of us in the UK). Remarkably, there is a softening in approach to so-called zoophiles, as they are covered under the general theme of ‘consent’.

Pardon? Consent?

“Sit! Roll over! Good boy! Does Rover want a snacky treat? Goood boy! Does Rover want an extra *special* treat? Goooooood boy!

RSPCA hassling you over that sack of dead kittens found in the canal? Your best defence now is to claim that it was a ‘sex game gone wrong.’

Next thing you know, we’ll have the folks from Huntingdon Life Sciences producing consent forms (signed with paw prints, natch) showing that the monkeys wanted to smoke high-tar cigarettes, the dogs asked to wear make-up and the bunny rabbits simply demanded to have the new CS gas tested on them.

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Date
20030516

Time
09:32
Desmond looks like he will get a long-overdue slapping for ‘passing off.’ He likes a good passing off, does our Richard. Here’s an article listing a few past offences.

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Date
20030516

Time
09:37
By now you all know that Tom’s Teens! page is a bit of a larf.

This isn’t. This is real. And it’s intended to help Christian youth workers to ‘reach the kids.’

Now, to be perfectly honest, I didn’t know how to speak to the kids when I was a kid – but I certainly knew enough to stick to my own damn vocabulary.

Incredibly, this page has been live for over a year and has yet to result in a single playground stabbing.

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Date
20030516

Time
09:52
Steve’s Not In My America is definitely a blog worth watching. Thanks go to Simon for putting me onto it.

The excellent question asked today is ‘where is the outrage? ….why are we not absorbed in UNgate, WMDgate and Carriergate?’

Steve rightly points out that there is plenty of outrage out there, but most of it fails to make the mainstream channels (insert ‘owned by’ list here).

‘Many of us are just too busy or too distracted or too lazy to actively gather our news. Instead, we turn on the tube or the radio and let it passively spoonfeed us.’

Well said, that man.

UPDATE – True or not, I find it quite telling that we’ve heard not a single solitary whisper about George W. Bush being accused of rape. With Clinton, true or not (or, more to the point, paranoid nutcase or not), the story would have been on the evening news in minutes. You can see some documentation here, some reflection on the media non-reaction here, a comment on it being published – and quickly pulled – at the Fort Bend Star website here and some fun being had with the story here. Enjoy.

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Date
20030516
The Humanity vs. Anarchy Project
Time
09:57
Chalking continues in The Humanity vs. Anarchy Project, but you may notice from the fresh photos on the page that I’ve been exploring new methods of delivery. I’m open to any other ideas people might have. I hear from a lot of people who want to get involved, but are somewhat nervous about committing chalk to a public surface. We need to give them something to do.

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Date
20030516

Time
11:02
I’m at my desk working right now. Honest. Actually, I’m busy sorting my socks.

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Date
20030516

Time
16:19
The truth behind Monkey Man. More free inches for the tabloids courtesy of a B3tan. How many extra copies do you think The Sun sold on the back of this (all the while nudging and winking that they themselves were behind the hoax)? The hoaxers should have grabbed the reward they claim was offered for the real identity of the masked superhero, given the story to the paper involved, and then gone to a rival paper and shopped them (offering the money to charity, of course). Of course, had they done this, the betrayed paper would have dug up just about anything they could find about the hoaxer’s background (or just made something up) and then torn them a new arsehole.

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Date
20030516
The Political Weblog Movement
Time
17:13
Looks like I’m going to have to add The Official Howard Dean Weblog to the very short list on Why Politicians Need Weblogs. Then again, perhaps not. Official it may be, but I see very few words and thoughts from the man himself. The human side is the key. Lose that and there’s no point blogging.

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Date
20030516
Friday Feedback
Time
17:40
Something different this weekend. Instead of sending feedback to me, I’m going to ask you to send feedback to your MP or other regional elected representative. Email, fax or letter, exactly what you send them is up to you – but if you appreciate the weblog format and think that it would do wonders for way they conduct themselves, then I would request that you also include the following URL:

http://www.bloggerheads.com/politicians.asp

I’m getting stonewalled everywhere I turn on this, and could do with some backup. Cheers all.

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Date
20030519

Time
08:28
It’s a Mac with a Lego chassis. So?

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Date
20030519

Time
08:30
Bank robbers asks stranger for fastest way out of town. Stranger happens to be bank manager’s son.

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Date
20030519

Time
08:33
U.S. military attacks Saddam supporters with ‘culturally offensive music’. The play list includes Metallica and Barney.

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Date
20030519

Time
08:37
Harry T. Keane Jr. sues makers of American Idol, saying he came up with the show’s title and concept. He used the old-fashioned ‘$2 copyright’ (mailing the idea to himself by registered post), so it’ll be interesting to see how this one comes out. BTW, the use of the term ‘self described’ in front of an individual’s job description is only one stop short of putting the word ‘loser’ in the headline.

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Date
20030519

Time
08:47
Read about the folks in charge of making President George Bush look good.

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Date
20030519
Christianity Watch
Time
08:51
Abbacomics.com is nothing to do with well-crafted pop. It’s actually about accepting Jesus Christ as your Lord and Saviour because the voices in your head told you to do so.

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Date
20030519

Time
08:55
The Star Wars Kid made the New York Times! (Link requires registration, but the URL alone speaks volumes…)

While we’re looking at the Times, remember those WMDs that we had to find, but now we’re not so worried about? OK, so maybe this justification for war couldn’t stand on its one withered leg, but there was the need for regime change, right? We had to liberate those lovable little Iraqis so they could run their own country, right?

Well, no…

‘In an abrupt reversal, the United States and Britain have indefinitely put off their plan to allow Iraqi opposition forces to form a national assembly and an interim government by the end of the month.’

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Date
20030519

Time
09:03
Man jailed for having sex with a cow. When will people learn that ‘moo’ means ‘no’…?

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Date
20030519
Stolen Jokes
Time
09:04
A doctor reaches into his jacket pocket and pulls out a thermometer.

‘Damn,’ he says, ‘some arsehole’s got my pen!’

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Date
20030519
Andrew Orlowski and Weblog Envy
Time
09:08
Dave Winer: ‘…Orlowski, either doesn’t understand the relationship to being on the Web and being in a search engine, or chooses not to clue his readers in.’

Doc Searls goes into much more detail, but both articles make the same point.

Want a chance to be part of the top ten on any given subject? Then you have to open up your site to Google. Duh. Want to be seen as a source of recent and relevant information? Then try publishing a web presence and actually updating it with recent and relevant information in a format that indexing robots can access.

For the record, I should note that I do agree with Orlowski on one small point – that of sometime noise pollution. That’s why my archives aren’t indexable by Google.

Directive Seven: ‘Thou shalt not pollute or corrupt search engines’

If I have something important/enduring to say, then I publish a static page and throw in some modest and relevant arming. If others find it truly relevant, then up the charts it goes.

A range of search queries for Tony Blair’s email address are a pretty good example of this. If the folks in charge of this side of Tony’s business knew what the hell they were doing, the email facility would exist. Even if it didn’t, their explanatory page leading folks to alternative methods of contact would also rank at No. 1 if armed correctly and linked accordingly.

Actually, if The Register had decent Page Titles that explained what their articles were about, I wouldn’t have been inundated with misdirected email for Tony in the first place.

This leads me to something else I should point out of the record… The Register still hasn’t addressed this major problem with Google, despite me speaking with them about this in a professional capacity over a year ago.

Every article they publish comes with the following ready-made title: ‘The Register’ – that’s it, that’s all – and that’s how it turns up in Google whenever you trip over a Reg article in a search. Having more relevant Page Titles would not only improve their ranking for relevant search terms, it would also allow those who find them among search results to know what the hell the article is about (so we know whether to choose that link, or the one above/below it).

Be critical of blogs and Google as much as you like folks, but please know what the fark you’re talking about before you do – otherwise you’ll just look like jealous wannabes.

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Date
20030519

Time
09:49
OK, so Googlewhacking is old hat, but I wasn’t expecting much from either of Dave Gorman’s previous projects and was pleasantly surprised both times – therefore, I’m willing to give him the benefit of the doubt.

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Date
20030519

Time
10:00
Wonder at the infinite inaccuracy of Hollywood with the IMDB Goofs Page.

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Date
20030519

Time
10:04
I’m praying that someone, somewhere, chooses to create a fitting answer to thankyoutony.com, as I just don’t have the time.

I would like to point out, however, that the following domain name is available.

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Date
20030519

Time
15:19
I had 4 copies of the Palyh virus sent to me this morning (that’s the one pretending to come from support@microsoft.com).

Here are a couple of news reports on this virus by the BBC and The Register. Don’t forget to update those virus definition files, folks!

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Date
20030520

Time
07:21
Meetings today, and yet another chance to educate people. I’m actually going to wear my monkey suit this time. With underwear. See you tomorrow.

PS – That flash show I’ve been working on is almost finished, but I need a few test viewers before launch. Volunteers should send emails to the usual address.

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Date
20030520

Time
16:31
I’m back from London and would dearly love to blog fully, but I’m into the last 20 seconds of this damn flash show and just have to close it off. After that’s done, I just need to add the ‘loading’ and ‘play’ functions and we’re ready for testing.

Head down.

Arse up.

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Date
20030520
Flash Music Video
Time
20:52
My very first flash show ever is now ready.

Well, kind of. I have to learn how to set the music to stream (or so I’m told) so it synchs better on a wider range of computer speeds.

I think I’ve almost got that sussed but – so you can enjoy the full benefit of the learning process – here’s Version 1, warts and all:

JPEG Baby – A Love Song For The 21st Century (800kb)

UPDATE – The version linked above is now the new streamed version. This should work for almost everybody. If it doesn’t, give me a yell. Cheers all.

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Date
20030521
Flash Games
Time
08:22
We’ve had Gasteroids, now there’s Pasteroids. Haemorrhoids will be next, you mark my words.

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Date
20030521

Time
08:25
Disgraced NYT reporter wants to write about his mistakes. And perhaps his upcoming TV movie of the week deal?

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Date
20030521

Time
08:27
Shades of Blogshares, this time paring down to link speculation: The Popdex Game gives you the chance to ‘pick links that you believe will increase in popularity the most in the next 48 hours.’ Kind of takes the fun out of it, don’t you think?

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Date
20030521

Time
08:31
I was quite surprised to read a short acknowledgment of Andrew Orlanksi’s misguided article sans clarification in Monday’s Guardian, but Neil McIntosh more than makes up for it with this belated storm in a tea cup article. On Orlanski’s stunning assumption that drove this biased article (based, he said, on ‘precedent’, Neil had this to say:

Precedent suggests nothing of the sort. The “precedent” quoted, when Google bought the Usenet archives of Deja.com and “removed the groups from the main index”, is a red herring. Google has not removed newsgroups from the main Google index – you’ll find web-based archives of newsgroups on there today. It simply built a far better, specialised search for the groups elsewhere after it acquired the Deja.com archive.

If you want to go by precedent, then it’s probably safer to assume that Google’s expected weblog search will relate mostly to a database formed from Blogger.com users.

Anyway, here’s more loose talk on Google ‘pollution’:

Google isn’t saying “sorry, this sucks for what you searched on, but I’m so confused by all this incestuous linking that I just have to give it to you anyway,” what it’s saying is “I don’t have anything useful for that query, but people seem to think this guy knows his way around, and he’s at least used the words in your search, so maybe he linked to something that will prove useful.”

Spot on. This goes back to my comments of the day before yesterday. If there is no email address for Tony Blair, then who are you gonna call?

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Date
20030521

Time
08:50
Make your own ransom note. Saves a lot of that kerfuffle with old magazines, newspapers and glue, let me tell you. (Link nabbed from Ultimate Insult.)

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Date
20030521

Time
08:53
Michael Jackson spotted in a Spiderman mask and with an afro wig. Sadly, only the second link includes a picture. Has he finally gone completely hat-stand, or is there another record coming out?

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Date
20030521
Does What It Says On The Tin
Time
08:57
beerforthehomeless.com

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Date
20030521
Riding High on Blogdex
Time
08:58
The Einstein Archives are charting well, as is news that the Pentagon has started a Ministry of Silly Walks. Also, the Star Wars Kid made Wired.

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Date
20030521

Time
09:03
Study: Teens not waiting to have sex. Well, what do they expect when Paula Abdul keeps yelling “That’s the money shot!” on network television? Perhaps the producers of American Idol can suggest that she use a more suitable term – like pop-shot, maybe…

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Date
20030521

Time
09:08
A Department of Children & Families employee has been fired after being arrested for drag racing – with his 4-year-old child in back seat.

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Date
20030521

Time
09:11
A gift for all of you who never got over it. I love websites that are hacked out on a basic Word template, and the quotes from ‘users’ are wonderfully sincere.

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Date
20030521

Time
09:15
Damn. With everything else going on today, how the hell am I going to find time to design a suitable statue of George W. Bush?

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Date
20030521
Flash Music Video
Time
09:18
In case you missed it, we premiered the Flash ‘video’ for JPEG Baby last night.

Early versions weren’t synching well on slower/faster computers, but I think we’ve got that problem licked. Do let me know if I’m wrong.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030522

Time
08:12
Which of the following would you have trouble believing?

- From 1868 to 1975, the Federal Vampire & Zombie Agency (FVZA) was responsible for controlling the nation’s vampire and zombie populations while overseeing scientific research into the undead.

- During the recent Texas Democrat Boycott, someone, somewhere decided to get a federal authority involved. That authority has since burned all of its records.

- For 29 years, the CIA withheld from the public information about a terrorist threat against Santa Claus.

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Date
20030522

Time
08:28
I remember Wacky Packages. They even made it all the way out to Australia (despite most of the products featured being completely foreign to us). The world is a different place now. Australia isn’t exactly awash with Amercian products… those clever corporations were smart enough to simply buy out local brands.

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Date
20030522

Time
08:35
It’s the tree that grows meat. So now if you’re a vegetarian, you can chew on a burger any time you like. Unless, of course, you have a problem with genetically engineered food.

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Date
20030522

Time
08:42
At the same time the terror alert was raised in the U.S., new outlines of a domestic surveillance system were released. It’s designed to keep an eye on terrorists, of course. Nothing to do with the Home Spying Network at all. Read more about the wonders of the Total Information Awareness database project.

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Date
20030522

Time
08:53
It’s certainly turning out to be an interesting day. Now we have water that goes uphill.

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Date
20030522
The Political Weblog Movement
Time
08:58
You cannot make more people vote via the Interwebnet with stupid ‘feel the width’ measures such as e-voting. Getting them more involved in the political process, however…

BTW, I made three more calls to the Technical Operations Department of the office of the Sergeant at Arms yesterday (to try yet again to get my hands on the procedures required for clearing Movable Type for use on senate.gov). I was put on hold thrice. I was redirected to some guy’s voice mail thrice. I left messages twice. All previous requests (usually left on this same voicemail) for a call, letter, email, anything have been ignored. I get the feeling they don’t take me very seriously… perhaps someone should warn them that this isn’t a very good idea.

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Date
20030522
Flash Music Video
Time
10:59
JPEG Baby received just under a thousand visitors in its first day. Referral data can only account for about half of this traffic, and there’s a lot of ‘linked from email’ indicators peppered throughout the referral stats, so it looks like there’s a great deal of one-to-one sharing going on.

The majority of linked traffic is coming from the pre-launch and launch at B3ta, this site in the Netherlands, and filepile.org

Also helping to spread the word of true love and onanism are phancy.com, TTR2, wibbler.com, meany.mine.nu, vurt.co.uk, adampsyche.com, and The Duchy of Your Fingers.

Daily indexing of Bloggerheads has been pretty patchy since my Dead Blog Holiday last month. It’s kind of like Google getting all ‘Fine, be like that!’ because I neglected our relationship. I’m hoping the link buzz around JPEG Baby will – as a healthy by-product – let Google know that I’m still busy and bring her back onside.

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Date
20030522
Photoshopping
Time
15:13
My design for the proposed George W. Bush statue is finished. I think I’ve captured his essence. What do you think?

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Date
20030522
Flash Thingies
Time
15:38
Weblog: The Movie

Short, to the point, and bound to be a complete mystery to most of the population.

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Date
20030522

Time
15:41
Blogging: Is the UK falling behind?

Tom’s right to be worried. I’m lucky enough to be going to the Weblog Business Strategies Conference in Boston but there’s sweet bugger all going on here in the UK, and this is a pretty good indication of the professional awareness/takeup of blogs hereabouts. And it’s not for want of trying, let me tell you…

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Date
20030522

Time
16:42
The dullest blog in the world just keeps going and going and going…

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Date
20030522
Ronald Scelson
Time
20:01
Ronald Scelson. Spammer. Illusionist. Delusionist.

“I’m probably the most hated person in this room,” said an unapologetic Scelson when giving testimony before the Senate Committee on Commerce, Science and Transportation.

He’s got that right. The man is either deluded beyond belief or a bare-faced liar/hypocrite/you-name-it.

Washington Post and PC World both have the story, but Slashdot has the most illuminating thread.

I have the feeling that Ronald’s letterbox will be quite full over the coming week.

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Date
20030523

Time
08:45
In the past, glow-in-the-dark products would give off a weak sheen and then die out after an hour or so, but thanks to the wonders of Strontium Aluminate (with Europium) we now have products that can glow ten times as bright for ten times as long. Thank God someone has come up with a practical application for this marvellous advance in technology.

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Date
20030523

Time
08:52
Here’s a picture of that pink bus they’ve been torturing naughty children with in the Isle of Wight. Don’t you think it’s a shame that the only disciplinary measure left to teachers is humiliation?

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Date
20030523

Time
08:55
The Star Wars Kid fundraiser netted over $4000.

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Date
20030523

Time
08:56
Documentation of Gator Advertisements and Targeting. Gator claim to be ‘the leader in online marketing,’ with more than 30 million users – most of them unwitting or involuntary. If you don’t know what Gator is, then you should probably spend time finding out. You’ll soon be asking yourself how you can see if it’s on your computer – and how you can get rid of it. The answer to both of those questions is Ad-aware.

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Date
20030523
It’s War! And Somebody’s Going To Pay!
Time
09:04
‘Regarding the situation in Iraq, it appears to this Senator that the American people may have been lured into accepting the unprovoked invasion of a sovereign nation, in violation of long-standing International law, under false premises. There is ample evidence that the horrific events of September 11 have been carefully manipulated to switch public focus from Osama Bin Laden and Al Queda who masterminded the September 11th attacks, to Saddam Hussein who did not.’

Cheers all round (again) for the indomitable Senator Robert C. Byrd. Read the entire speech here.

I’ll be emailing Sen. Byrd later today to see how approachable he is about embracing new technology.

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Date
20030523

Time
09:11
Proof that there is no God: McDonald’s is sponsoring Pope John Paul’s visit to Spain.

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Date
20030523

Time
09:13
8ft portrait of Anna Nicole Smith stolen. It’s 8 feet tall, not 8 feet wide. Stop being nasty.

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Date
20030523

Time
09:15
American Idol vote to be audited. Somebody’s been telling porkies….

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Date
20030523

Time
09:18
I won’t be wasting 15 Euros on this. I may, however, buy a monkey. Or not. With people starving, it would be indulgent of me to own a pet and feed that instead. In fact there are so many people in the world, I probably shouldn’t even be breeding. Perhaps I should do myself in and sell the parts for scrap.

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Date
20030523
Flash Music Video
Time
10:08
Yay! JPEG Baby has crossed the language barrier again.

I Babelfished the comments; they translate (very roughly) to say ‘considerably, it is good, is’ before going on to wonder who the hell it is that appears in the tail end of the video.

FYI, it’s Terry Wogan – perennial host of the BBC broadcast of the Eurovision Song Contest. Eurovision songs are notorious for long passages of la-la-la-la-la-la, that’s why he was included. The tog-sperm? Well, it was late at night – what can I say?

I’ll leave a comment on his blog and put the guy out of his misery. We want him to be able to sleep nights.

Only 637 visitors yesterday, but I’m hoping for a healthy run over the weekend to make up for it.

UPDATE – Some healthy linkage is now coming in from groovymother.com and coolio’s. Total visits since launch were nudging 2,000 around midday. I’d really like to add a zero to that figure.

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Date
20030523

Time
12:24
Don’t forget that this coming Monday (sorry) is Wank Holiday Monday. Give your hand a rest and instead donate money to the blind. I know it sounds awfully crass, but the organisers couldn’t find an established charity for people with hairy palms.

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Date
20030523

Time
12:52
Take time out to play this Coalition Cards Solitaire Game.

It’s 100% virtual, so you don’t need to respond to a steenkin’ spammer or part with any money.

Incidentally, I got a new variety of card-spam in my Inbox this morning. This new set is called the Deck of Weasels, and features a range of celebrities who dared to speak out against the war.

As you’ve probably noticed, the designer has them all wearing Saddamesque berets.

Devilishly clever, what?

Perhaps Spamhaus can help me to come up with a Spamming Bastards deck. Scelson could be the arse of spades.

UPDATE – Heh. The more I think about his idea, the more I like it. Spammers are a pretty secretive bunch, so photos will be hard to come by. Instead we can put home/business addresses on each card – and/or stats regarding the amount of spam they send. That way the deck would be dual purpose, as you could play Twat Trumps with them as well.

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Date
20030523
It’s War! And There’s Money To Be Made!
Time
13:22
Mark has pointed out to me that police trying to solve major crimes will often ‘follow the money.’ So, if anybody actually wanted to crack the case of the illegal war on Iraq, this place might be a good start.

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Date
20030523
Does What It Says On The Tin
Time
14:16
[NOTE – Do not follow the main link below without decent security settings or the latest copy of Ad-aware, or it will feed you a version of Xupiter (yet more crappy spyware).]

Sars.com is simply marvellous stuff – but don’t visit too close to lunchtime, as there’s a large image of a diseased lung that you’ll probably need an hour or two to get out of your mind. The site also has a short message or two regarding the quality of service you can expect from Verisign, but mostly it’s wonderfully OTT information about death, disease and government conspiracies.

Gems include:

‘The interpretation of the old ancient books say that the Sars Disease can very well be from the revenge of the powerful forces of the nature getting back at the Chinese people for not putting enough pressure towards their government to give back Tibet.’

and:

‘SARS is a mystery illness causes severe acute Respiratory syndrome and can kill you real fast.’

Interestingly, the site not only says ‘Copyright 1998,’ the domain has existed since May of that same year. Just how long have the Chinese been covering this up?

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Date
20030523

Time
14:19
Huzzah! Here’s a little forum love for JPEG Baby. We’ll make Top of the Pops yet. How does ‘Weblong Wonders’ sound as a band name?

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Date
20030524
Flash Music Video
Time
15:28
Now this is more like it. An appearance in the B3ta Newsletter has seen JPEG Baby reach not only the immediate audience of the newsletter, but dozens and dozens of forums as a result. It also got posted to another Japanese site and tomorrow (between 8am and 10am GMT) the song will receive airplay for the very first time on this student radio station in Wolverhampton.

[If anybody else wants to give it airplay, there is a higher quality MP3 available for download; just email me and ask nicely.]

Total visits since launch now number in excess of 10,000. Looks like I’m going to get that extra zero I wanted.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030525
Eurovision
Time
07:51
All the really awful acts appeared in the first half, so I wasn’t drunk enough to throw popcorn!

Nice to see Austria placed at 6th, though. At least *some* people in Europe still have a sense of humour.

The song and performance by the UK entry was appalling, and certainly didn’t warrant much attention – but I found it quite telling that we didn’t even get one sympathy vote.

Rock bottom with nil points for the first time ever. It doesn’t look like we have any friends left in Europe.

Oh well. At least we didn’t get booed as much as the Russians did. All that fuss over a very poor performance – and we didn’t even get to see any lesbian frottage! For shame!

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030526

Time
08:50
See some famous monkeys through history, a list of monkey appearances in The Simpsons, or go out a get a life with some gen-ew-ine sea monkeys.

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Date
20030526

Time
08:59
Trashlog collects and displays a single piece of trash every day for the benefit of the public. It’s appreciated.

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Date
20030526

Time
09:01
Ducklings led away from restaurant drive-through fall through manhole.

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Date
20030526

Time
09:03
SaferAmerica.com offers a range of products to help you deal with the ever-present threat of attack, disaster and disease. The inspired evacuation systems collection features a number of parachutes, including an Executive Chute that’s strangely less expensive than the other parachutes, but is wonderfully slimline and bound to be more effective as a result.

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Date
20030526
Eurovision
Time
09:11
UK act hits Eurovision low. At least this article acknowledges the main problem with the whole ‘nul points’ thing: Jemini were crap.

UPDATE – There’s also this excellent piece in The Guardian: Nul points – UK out of tune with Europe.

Still, Wogan said it best on the night when it became apparent that we didn’t get a single point from anybody:

“It’s pretty obvious what needs to be done. We’re going to have to send a gunboat.”

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Date
20030526
Flash Games
Time
09:16
This is a great collection of classic arcade games in Flash format, featuring everything from Pong to Kong. (Link nabbed from Ultimate Insult.)

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Date
20030526
Riding High on Blogdex
Time
09:21
Enjoy a 360° view from the top of Mt Everest.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030526

Time
09:23
Australian boobs are getting bigger. Good news for the boys at home.

(Hi Steve. Your Walnut Whips are on the way. Just send me a bloody mailing address.)

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Date
20030526
Flash Music Video
Time
09:26
JPEG Baby has now reached over 15,440 people. It has been estimated by an independent statistician (well, some guy down the pub at least) that this number far exceeds the number of people who voted for the UK act at Eurovision. Worth thinking about come selection time next year, folks.

We’re getting a lot of Blogdex love, but not all at once (which is keeping us out of the chart). Ho hum.

UPDATE – We’ve pretty much smashed the language barrier on this one. Here’s a link/review in Portugese, just for starters. A lot of what Bloggerheads does goes down well in the Netherlands, but this is the biggest success so far. Most traffic from this part of the world is coming from Westvillage, Fok! and this page at Webwereweld, but there are lots of smaller weblogs and forums adding to the swell. The Eurovision stuff was kind of added as an afterthought/joke, but I’m seriously thinking of putting an entry in for next year – especially considering the universal appeal of this song and how well Austria did with their comedic approach.

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Date
20030526

Time
09:47
Remember folks, today is Wank Holiday Monday. Give it a rest – and give generously.

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Date
20030526

Time
11:16
Media Guardian: Get a grip on reality. I worry about this kind of thing a lot, especially the aspect of aspirations. Do you really want to live in a world where kids are growing up just wanting to be famous? Not wanting to do anything to earn it, mind – just wanting to be famous.

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Date
20030526
Flash Music Video
Time
13:25
More link love from the Netherlands, with a few hundred visitors dropping by from Totally Flabbergasted (permalink with comments proving that a few people do drop by the main blog here).

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030527

Time
09:29
Could the attack near Baghdad airport have something to do with the PoW camp down the road, where thousands of Iraqi prisoners of war and other captives are being held illegally and treated inhumanely? I’d say it’s a fair bet.

In other news, the US plans to turn Guantanamo Bay into a death camp, with its own death row, execution chamber, and frozen yoghurt stand. OK, so I made that last bit up. Sue me. Or send some super-soldiers after my ass. Your choice.

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Date
20030527

Time
09:36
Campbell Island (NZ) is now rat-free. With any luck, they’ll start on the cats next.

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Date
20030527

Time
09:40
Is CD re-packaging a rip-off? Well, let me ask you… how many times have to seen a bargain-price ‘best of’ album mysteriously disappear from the shelves, only to see a new full-price version appear in its place a month or so later – the only difference being a new cover and (maybe) a few ‘lost’ studio/live tracks that nobody is interested in anyway?

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Date
20030527

Time
09:43
The winners of Nerve’s Bad Erotica Contest have been announced. The outright victor had me from the very first sentence:

“She woke with the taste of his turgid penis on her lips…”

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030527

Time
09:51
Mother arrested after putting her child in a coin-operated washing machine. The machine was of the type that locks when the cycle starts and doesn’t unlock until it’s done. A policeman had to smash the window of the machine with his baton to rescue the child.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030527

Time
09:55
A team of lawyers is set to take on the spammers. They’re led by New York state’s Attorney General Eliot Spitzer, who just happened to announce recently that he plans on running for the office of New York governor in 2006. Still, at least somebody is on the case. Spammers are getting cheekier and cheekier as they’re left to their own devices. I received one email this morning offering to make me a millionaire spammer. Be warned that the following boast (quoted word-for-word from the email) is likely to make you want to spit gravy:

”Why are we so successful?? 1. Because NO ONE can bring us down! And 2. Because we KICK ASS with Our HACKER PROOF and ANTI-SPAMMER PROOF sales websites and because when you get right down to it, PEOPLE ARE LIKE SHEEP, and if the ‘sheep’ get enough e-mail shoved at them, the sheep WILL become customers!”

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Date
20030527

Time
10:04
After years of downplaying this and denying that, Arnold Schwarzenegger finally admits plans to take over the world. You will fear his mighty muscles.

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Date
20030527

Time
10:06
Iraqi statue-makers struggle for work. Surely they should get into the statue-removal business instead? At the very least, they can help to fill out the crowds.

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Date
20030527

Time
10:14
Remember the kid that rescued children from a burning building, only to get recognised on TV by authorities who then arrested him for a probation violation?

He was arrested on Friday for hitting his brother with a shovel.

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Date
20030527

Time
10:19
Register your credit card details and share them with the world today!

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Date
20030527

Time
10:22
Arab-American woman in court to contest parking tickets faints when judge asks if she is a terrorist. Are you now…?

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Date
20030527
Bring Down The Bush Regime
Time
10:25
Senator Robert C. Byrd’s floor remarks of the 21st of May have been repeated over at thenation.com

Worth reading again, expecially when you consider the 911 link and what the government may or may not want you think about that.

Here’s a pretty strong indication that they were aware of this specific kind of terrorist threat 10 months before the incident, and here are some public documents from Congress’ Joint Inquiry into 9/11 that the Bush Administration wants to retroactively classify.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030527
Flash Music Video
Time
10:32
JPEG Baby has now reached Denmark. The Japanese are still mulling it over, and all in all we’re looking at over 20,000 page views since launch.

UPDATE – Ooh, look – a link/comment in Hebrew! Yay!

The song has only received airplay twice so far, but I’ve just put an announcement on the main page (to replace the now-outdated Wank Holiday Monday link) to let DJs of all ranks know that a high-quality MP3 is available upon request.

I think we’ve pretty much proved the appeal of the song and the promotional effectiveness of the Flash format, so this seems as good a time as any to move onto Phase 2 – getting people to bug their local radio station so we can get some serious mainstream airtime.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030527

Time
10:47
Damn. I’ve completely forgotten who asked me to send them details of the recent barcode scam, so I’m going to blog it and hope that they’ll get back to me with a ‘it was me – thanks, dumbass’ message before I completely forget that I made the offer to send the link at all.

Here’s the Wired article on this subject and here’s the site that caused most of the fuss.

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Date
20030527
Operation Justification
Time
11:25
Welsh MP Ann Clwyd is flying to Iraq as a ‘human rights’ envoy. Her main priority seems to be investigating violations by Saddam’s regime, which basically means visiting gravesites. Perhaps she should show more concern for the living and have a closer look at what the Bush regime is up to while she’s there.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030527
Photoshopping
Time
13:11
It’s a bit rough and ready, but it had to be done for my own sanity – Terry Wogan takes a stand against Outer Rim block voting.

I’ll add it to the The Star Wars Photoshopping Project later today, along with a submission I’ve been neglecting to include for about a week or so.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030528

Time
09:35
Running a bit late this morning. I woke up with two articles, and by the time I’d finished scrawling down notes, it was 9:30

I’ll be writing and releasing at least one of them later today.

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Date
20030528

Time
09:37
Thank God for the good folks of Hollywood. Without them, we wouldn’t have the ultimate miracle diet or significant advances in nipple-tape technology.

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Date
20030528

Time
09:42
Ambulance driver charged with speeding. The upshot being that an ambulance on the way to a call or carrying a patient is exempt from such charges, while an ambulance carrying organs for transplant is not.

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Date
20030528

Time
09:49
Former student claims she was sexually assaulted by a nun who taught ‘morals and religion.’ It’s alleged that the nun leapt on top of the student, telling her to “submit herself to God.”

Also, here’s a story about a boy who received a blowjob in class and claims that he had no legal duty to refuse.

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Date
20030528
Photoshopping
Time
09:54
Here’s a handy resource, rich in hummus: a large collection of WW2 posters (link lifted from Ultimate Insult).

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Date
20030528

Time
09:58
Finally, somebody dares to tell the truth: our planet is hollow. Here are details of the size and location of the polar openings. You can learn more about this – plus the location of the Garden of Eden, the origin of flying saucers and a proposal to journey to the centre – by downloading the $12 e-book.

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Date
20030528

Time
10:07
More Google paranoia:

“Google’s worldwide popularity also has led many who run Web sites to worry about becoming dependent on Google’s search result rankings to drive traffic to their sites. A businessperson’s livelihood can be based solely on a Google search results ranking.”

And that ranking, ladies and gentlemen, is decided by what you offer to the populace and how you offer it. Publish or perish. Do something positive and people will take notice – then Google will listen to those people and reward you accordingly.

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Date
20030528

Time
10:13
Internal email reveals New York Times’ main source of WMD info to be Ahmad Chalabi. Chalabi is rather close to Pentagon officials, and has tipped by some analysts as a possible successor to Saddam Hussein.

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Date
20030528

Time
10:24
OK, that’s it for a bit. Writing….

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Date
20030528
Huzzah!
Time
14:22
Well, how about that? I’ve won a Domukun Kettle in the Great Funjunkie White Goods Giveaway.

(Happy Birthday to FunJunkie, BTW. We’re talking two years of distraction here. Impressive stuff.)

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Date
20030528
Articles
Time
14:28
My latest article on SEO is up and ready to be read – at least an hour later than it should have been.

Hey, the sun was shining. That’s a pretty rare thing round these parts.

Anyway, feel free to read and enjoy: Hollywood Sites, Hollywood URLs

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Date
20030528
Civil Disobedience
Time
16:08
Hooray for the Space Hijackers, who feature heavily in a very nice article on Civil Disobedience in the latest (July) issue of Front magazine. (I’d include a link, but they’re not big on websites, these people…)

The ‘Out Of Order’ Project also rated a mention, and I even got a name-check. Pretty cool stuff.

Also, I’ve only now noticed that the project has (just) cracked the Top Ten for the Google search ‘out of order’. We do even better with the same search in Yahoo.

My, it is turning out to be an interesting day today.

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Date
20030528
The Political Weblog Movement
Time
22:19
Attention!

Your attention, please:

A significant advance has been made on the political weblog front. After a right royal run-around spanning many weeks, I finally got to talk to a real Person (and a bloody helpful one at that).

I’ll soon – finally – know what challenges we face from a technical standpoint. From here I can get on with creating the necessary demand (and dealing with the inevitable politics).

That’s where you come in.

Are you one of many Bloggerheads readers who live in the U.S.?

Your job between now and tomorrow morning (9am GMT) is to find the email/mailing address of the senator who represents you, and then email me to let me know that you’re standing by.

I’m not dicking you around here, people. Get to it. Now.

This is a very rare chance for you to have a significant effect on the political landscape.

UPDATE – I’m especially interested in hearing from folks in West Virginia. Emails from here in the UK to Robert C. Byrd appear to be bouncing.

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Date
20030529
Flash Music Video
Time
09:04
Heh. It doesn’t surprise me at all that The Old Grey Quirrel Whistle Test is made by a B3tan. This kind of thing always makes me smile.

JPEG Baby is still doing the rounds in foreign lands, but – just like poor old Robbie Williams – I’m yet to crack the American market. Perhaps someone will be kind enough to alert Howard Stern or Dr Demento

Total visits to date: 26,752

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Date
20030529

Time
09:10
Here are a bunch of American TV commercials from the 80’s. Very few of these made it to Australian TV, so thankfully we never got to hear from Annoying Encyclopedia Britannica Boy. I wonder where he is now…

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Date
20030529

Time
09:18
Bob Hope is 100 today. Like most Republicans, his deal with Satan includes exceptional longevity for as long as he can stand living like a zombie. A team of writers is standing by to provide those all-important famous last words.

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Date
20030529

Time
09:29
Big changes on the horizon for search engines. They’re going to be bigger, faster, stronger, smarter and prettier. Hopefully.

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Date
20030529

Time
09:34
The Lightbulb Museum has found a new home, but the Striptease Museum is strapped for cash. Looks to me like the local authorities are trying to squeeze the life out of it. A serious monetary injection is required – email Peter Stringfellow today and ask him to stuff a few dollar bills into their g-string.

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Date
20030529

Time
09:42
David Lee Roth says his shotgun speaks Martian and 81 other languages. Sadly, none of the voices are telling him that gun metal is ever so tasty.

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Date
20030529
For Those Who Came In Late…
Time
09:44
If you’re relatively new to the Interwebnet, I Love Bacon has a nice list of all-time classics today. Enjoy.

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Date
20030529

Time
09:51
McDonald’s sues food critic for £15.3million. He said their fries were ‘obscene and tasting of paper.’

A McDonald’s spokeman said:

“The fries that are said to taste of paper are thrown away within five minutes of being cooked if they have not been served and the oil is changed regularly.”

And this would be the same oil that you claimed for years was 100% meat-free? I think not, McDonald’s. Oh man, they are gonna lose so big.

You and I both know that the food critic speaks the truth. The moment those fries go from being red-hot to ice-cold (est. time: 52 seconds) they do actually start to taste like paper – and there’s no way that McDonald’s can guarantee that the five minute rule is applied without fail in every single restaurant. I’m estimating that this is ignored or neglected at least 20% of the time, if not more in a lot of city restaurants.

UPDATE – Meant to blog this yesterday: Read one man’s reaction to Fast Food Nation and the opposing views he found on the web. You really have to see consumerfreedom.com for yourself. Its sheer audacity will stagger you.

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Date
20030529
It’s War! And Somebody’s Going To Pay!
Time
10:05
Investigators have found evidence of weapons of mass destruction, including 100 vials of anthrax and other dangerous bacteria!

*ahem*

In Maryland.

You may also want to take the time to read this very long Fark thread that’s chock-full of wide-ranging reactions to the Guantanamo death camp story.

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Date
20030529
Yet Another Lame Quiz
Time
10:17
… well, two of them, actually. They also happen to be Riding High On Blogdex, but let’s stop screwing around with the headlines and just get to the links, OK?

The Geek Test

What Matrix Persona Are You?

I found one of the options in the latter quiz particularly appealing:

“Your personality is…

C) Gentle, with a harder side. Generally, you are harmless, but when provoked, hell is unleashed.”


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Date
20030529

Time
10:23
Remember, when you’re loading the dishwasher, spoons go up… and knives go down.

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Date
20030529

Time
10:25
Terrorism fear derails train-spotters. Truly, our very way of life is under threat.

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Date
20030529
The Political Weblog Movement
Time
10:42
I should find out what the deal is on the technical front sometime today (i.e. whether the servers at senate.gov can handle Movable Type or if we need to investigate another publishing format).

However, for this to go forward, there needs to be a visible demand for the technology. I need readers in the U.S. to be ready to contact their local senator, telling them why they – and you – need this.

Chris at TTR2 was kind enough to chip in with this page featuring contact details for all senators of the 108th Congress. Just pick your state and you’re ready to roll.

If you plan on getting involved, please get in touch and let me know that you’re standing by.

I’m doing my bit in this part of town. I’m lining up a content/design meeting with the next MP to go online with a weblog, and also making calls to a few MPs on my want list. Primary target today is Lembit Öpik.

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Date
20030530
The Political Weblog Movement
Time
08:48
Despite a very sincere promise of an immediate and direct response, there’s been no word yet. Again.

Are they really going to make me reach for the clue-by-four?

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Date
20030530

Time
08:50
Ah, that explains it. Tom Petty has actually been dead since 1996.

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Date
20030530

Time
08:52
Video games are good for you. Just for the record, there are no video games on my computer, but I am tempted to buy one of these for the den.

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Date
20030530

Time
08:54
Inside the secret world of Ronald McDonald. Considering the way the outfit is set up and what a wonderful world we live in, what do you think the chances are that at least one Ronald McDonald has been a kiddy-fiddler?

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Date
20030530

Time
08:59
Have I blogged mysterious alien rods before, or did I simply watch the documentary on TV and intend to before having my short-term memory wiped by a flying interdimensional doohickey passing through my hippocampus?

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Date
20030530

Time
09:04
Burglar steps in paint and leaves trail all the way back to motel hide-out.

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Date
20030530
Bring Down The Bush Regime
Time
09:07
Here’s a quick rundown of Operation Backpedal. Politicians wouldn’t lie to us about something as serious as this, would they? Yes, they would.

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Date
20030530

Time
09:13
New public smoking law threatens Dutch coffee shops. Let them eat cake.

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Date
20030530

Time
09:16
Romance comics from the 50’s and 60’s. (Yet another gem lifted from The Ultimate Insult.)

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Date
20030530

Time
09:18
It’s nice to see that Mike Tyson is mellowing with age.

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Date
20030530

Time
09:21
Senior students stack 600 desks from floor to ceiling. Fundraiser, protest or prank? Sorry, I’m going to make you click to find out.

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Date
20030530

Time
09:23
Recent reports that JFK was a coke-sniffing, intern-jumping nutbag were taken pretty calmly by the media. Maybe that’s why Clinton thinks the time is right for a comeback.

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Date
20030530
Star Wars Kid
Time
09:26
I made this short GIF yesterday, and a few others.

Then I stopped. For my sake, as well as your own.

BTW, it looks like Star Wars Kid is going to sue the folks that first posted his video on the Internet.

Now things get ugly.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030530
The Political Weblog Movement
Time
15:08
I’ve got my answer from the technical bods at senate.gov, and it’s looking pretty damn positive. There is no real technical reason holding back the use of Movable Type or any similar publishing system at their servers. We do, however, have to get the Rules Committee to see that there is a genuine requirement for this service before it can be put in place.

To do this, there needs to be a request for this capacity from a number of Senate offices. Basically, we have to get at least three senators set on the idea.

Until now, it’s very much been a chicken and egg thing. But at least now we know that it is theoretically possible for the egg to make its way clear of the cloaca.

I’ll be mulling it over on the weekend but, despite this being a no-brainer in many ways, it’s not going to be easy to reach the right people with the right level of understanding.

If you live in the U.S. and are inclined to help us move forward, please do get in touch. I’d like to know what kind of immediate army we have to hand before I draw up a battle plan.

Cheers all.

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Date
20030531
Nigerian Spam
Time
08:19
Always with the fresh angle…

My latest copies of Nigerian Spam claim to be from one Pastor Joseph. This time the money belongs to a British national, ‘Bro Gideon Brown.’

Heh.

Worth reading again: Here’s one chap who scammed a spammer, and here’s another who took on a few of them.

The The Nigerian Spam Scam Contest also looks fun. This could very well develop into an Olympic sport or some kind. Or another Reality TV show.








Posted in Uncategorized | Comments Off

02-15 May, 2003

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Date
20030502
Riding High on Blogdex
Time
09:27
Dante’s Inferno Test owns teh zone today, with the core URL and a number of results from the quiz hogging the top ten. The related server is doing its best to deal with the traffic, but your mileage may vary.

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Date
20030502

Time
09:30
Looks like someone’s out to shut down the Boycott Hollywood site. See what happens when you try to oppose a cash machine? (Sorry I’m in a mood today. More on this later.)

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Date
20030502

Time
09:33
“In November 2002, a telemarketer called my home in D.C. at 5:24 a.m. This is the story of how that call cost him $500.

A tale of sweet revenge that includes some great resources should you wish to take similar action.

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Date
20030502

Time
09:35
Why Blogs Haven’t Stormed the Business World.

Not sure if I agree entirely with this. I see the main problem to be overwhelming ignorance of most people in charge of marketing. Someone else build audience. Me buy media. Gain access to audience. Grog understand.

Heh. Petty? Moi?

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Date
20030502

Time
09:39
KFC is considering gassing their chickens. This way to the shower, ladies.

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Date
20030502

Time
09:41
Did you enjoy watching George Bush hitting his head on the door of the helicopter as much as I did?

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030502

Time
09:44
Editors of the New Oxford American Dictionary are considering a new entry for “Shut up!” in the next edition. Not the ‘be quiet’ version, but the ‘how interesting, do tell me more’ version.

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Date
20030502

Time
09:46
Slightly more than one of our sex offenders is missing.

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Date
20030502

Time
10:01
The photo report from the May Day protest will be completely complete in a few minutes. I’m coding like mad here, people.

I’m also as mad as hell after being grabbed by a cop and hurled inside the cordon for daring to mess with one of their favourite intimidation tactics.

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Date
20030502

Time
10:38
Here’s a nice shot of ‘patient policing’ and here’s a picture of a guy with an Out Of Order sticker on his forehead. One for the scrapbook. Please let me know of any other sightings. Right now it’s time to go and check the newspapers.

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Date
20030502

Time
11:28
The Guardian: ‘For the first time in years, all McDonald’s outlets stayed open throughout the day.’

Oh really?

BBC: ‘Police have criticised a minority of May Day protesters who they say attempted to wreak havoc in London amid peaceful demonstrations.’

I’d like to criticise the minority of police for goading many into violence.

And the final showdown?

The Independent: ‘Most of the 300-strong crowd initially gathered there were determined to make their protest peacefully.’

Damn right. And then call it a day afterwards.

I actually met one police officer who took great joy in telling the crowd – in all sincerity – that he and all the other officers had been provided with a SARS vaccine before coming out. Now what’s the point of making a statement like that?

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Date
20030502
Rebranding
Time
12:19
George Bush declares May 1st to be ‘Loyalty Day.’

Please excuse me while I throw up.

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Date
20030502

Time
12:20
It’s not the first application of its kind, but the design and execution on this one is wonderful:

The Weblog Fire Escape

Should develop into a nice little link-builder.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030502
Viral Marketing
Time
13:34
The Sun has decided to spread further confusion about this issue and benefit from other people’s work without credit or payment by launching their own ‘viral’ chart, which is even more dismal than the one at Lycos if you can believe it.

Remember folks, if it arrives by email; it’s yours free to do with as you please. So long as you give credit to the person who sent you the email, of course.

(By the way, for a small fee you too can be guaranteed inclusion at the Lycos chart, perhaps even on their list of featured items. How viral is that?)

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Date
20030502
Yet Another Lame Quiz
Time
14:37
Find your Star Wars twin.

‘Luke and Leia were seperated at birth; maybe you were too!’

Ho-ho. This is a looooong quiz, folks – but the results are quite comprehensive and put in a very interesting context that I won’t spoil for you here (expect to say that – in terms of agreeableness – I’m Emperor Palpatine and my sibling is Obi-Wan Kenobi).

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Date
20030504

Time
08:28
I don’t know what you folks are like with sleep, but I can function on 6 hours. 8 hours makes me feel dandy. 12 hours? Doesn’t happen often, but it happened last night. I may just take Monday off, after all.

Oh, thanks to Martin for the bloggage of the May Day stuff. Worth quoting:

“Now I’m still not convinced about the use of the Mayday protests, but Tim’s adventures in London have pretty much convinced me that the police are at least half the problem here. That’s not to say that there isn’t a hardcore minority determined to smash things, but there definitely is a peaceful majority and as this account makes clear the Police aren’t all that interested in them. Neither are the media.”

I’m not convinced of the effectiveness of these protests, either. They have a carefully-built reputation and close to zero coverage (until well after the fact, when ‘suspected anarchists’ are paraded by willing tabloids).

Some new ideas have occurred to me in the last few days, but I’m still mulling it over – and will probably need to do so for a few more weeks yet.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030505
Tony Blair’s Email: Birthday Special
Time
09:01
Tony Blair turns 50 today, and while there was a fair whack of email urging him to grow up a month or so ago, there was only one email sent to tony-blair@prime-minister.co.uk this morning. That either shows that these pages are finally doing their job, or that very few people care.

I’m hoping it’s the former and not the latter.

If you would like to send birthday greetings to the PM, this email-to-facsimile address will transmit the body of your email message and spit it out on his fax machine.

Repeated below is the one email that arrived at the wrong address this morning – and the one email that I sent to the correct one.

Enjoy your bank holiday, folks.

—– Original Message —–

From: poor scientist

To: tony-blair@prime-minister.co.uk

Cc: president@whitehouse.gov

Sent: Monday, May 05, 2003 2:34 AM

Subject: Re spectfully addressed to Sir :

–> Re spectfully addressed to Sir :

–>

–> My name is : Mai Sy Xuan Lam

–> Sir ! I need help . I manufactured the money not fake . That is e-money

–> (electric- money) This e-money easy to use , secure , not filch . If

–> filch , filcher not use . because e-money have safe system . This safe

–> system include : you’re a picture , password , fingerprint flash system

–> and some number . Besides , e-money system have special a public money

–> transfering computer . when tranfered a money similar send a e-mail .

–> Because We use software of e-mail . But we would repair some structure .

–> e-money functions . example :

–> It is half one’s personal papers half money , etc … . When used

–> e-money : You won’t use paper money . Paper money easy fire , e-money

–> when fired or lost , We can buy other e-money . When bought new e-money

–> , We will say your old number card for a bank agent . Money which you

–> have of old account will transfer your new account . Your money won’t

–> lose . In case you bully , and after you rob . You can recover one’s

–> money who rob . And robber will engaol . You can use your e-money at

–> other country , you will tranfser monetary value . I need help from sir

–> . In 4 next day , if I pay not house employing , I and my mother will

–> become tramper . I like very researching . And I find out 40 biology

–> formular (gene finding formular), 10 integral formular . And I

–> discovered a new microscope from a (one) magnifier ,enlarge degree

–> changing equipment of magnifier . If I was a tramper , I can’t research

–> . And Sir can for me live on Sir’s country. I am Vietnamese . I am poor

–> very . Live at Viet Nam I can’t free researching . Let help me . and let

–> help my formulars .

[address snipped]

–> If can , let Sir write vietnamese . Thank Sir ,Goodbye .

From: Tim Ireland

To: Tony Blair’s email-to-facsimile address

Sent: Monday, May 05, 2003 8:58 AM

Subject: Happy Birthday

Dear Tony,

My parents taught me to respect my elders. Right now that’s about all you’ve got going for you.

Happy birthday.

Tim Ireland

www.bloggerheads.com

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Date
20030505
Can Weblogs…?
Time
20:21
I have some fabulous ideas for distributing one very important message in particular, plus some legally-entitled mischief we can all get on with to bring at least one media mogul down a peg or two.

Normal bloggage will continue tomorrow. There’s still some thinking to do.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030506

Time
08:43
I’ve finally got a few extra minutes available, so I’m going to download and trial Spamnet, the community-driven spam filter from Cloudmark. I’ll let you know how I get on.

(Found via Countersink.)

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030506

Time
08:51
Lots of fun stuff over at Headwindow today. In fact, too much to list here. So go there.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030506

Time
08:53
References to this will end up chasing Bonsai Kitten everywhere it goes, if there’s any justice. I can taste the outrage from here.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030506

Time
08:57
I want to see Rubber Boy meet The Lizardman live on stage. Why? Because it’s sure to spice up the world’s weakest ‘extreme’ stunt.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030506
Christianity Watch
Time
09:02
A fabulous profile of Jack Chick.

Found via The Ultimate Insult, who found it via LinkMachineGo, who found it via BoingBoing. It probably also appeared at Fark about a thousand times, so I’ll reign in the credit links at that and be done with it.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030506

Time
09:13
Every manned Russian spacecraft since 1976 had carried a sawn-off shotgun on board. True or false?

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030506
Riding High on Blogdex
Time
09:16
Bill Bennet has been a bad boy. Who?

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030506

Time
09:22
One of our missing planes in missing.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030506

Time
09:23
Melbourne’s Swinburne University offering a course in make-up for drag artists.

That’s got to be a first. I mean, Melbourne before Sydney? I ask you…

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030506

Time
09:25
Secret Joe McCarthy hearings opened after 50 years. Coincidentally, it’s also the centenary of George Orwell’s ‘1984.’

This article/essay on 1984 from The Guardian is getting some serious linkage today.

Scaryduck emailed me ages ago suggesting that we get together to make sure that this book charts well in the BBC’s Big Waste of Licence Bucks, but there’s just too much to do these days. Perhaps if I win the lottery, or spend less time reading government-approved pornography…

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030506

Time
09:35
Just what we need: a new venereal disease. This could well mutate into the Big One, folks. You know, where you stick your dick where it’s not supposed to be and it explodes…

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030506

Time
09:37
Jakob Nielsen and Don Norman on Making Web Advertisements Work.

‘Unfortunately, most current Web advertising approaches are aimed at taking what doesn’t work and making it ever bigger and more annoying, continuously fighting user behavior.’

It also doesn’t help that text ads in search engines (that get a pretty easy time of it in this short article) are being sold as a form of search engine optimisation. Take my word for it, ignorance is widespread on this matter. Disturbingly so.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030506

Time
09:41
San Francisco hosts ‘Masturbate-a-Thon’. No, masturbateforpeace.com does not appear to be involved. Yet.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030507

Time
09:07
God, how I hate pop-ups. Pending pop-ups had my connection hanging for damn near 12 minutes just now. Did I ask for 9 new browser windows to load? No, I didn’t.

Interestingly, one of the worst offenders this morning was The Anarchists Cookbook. Not too anarchic to take a little coin, now are we?

BTW, The ??? Project now has a name – but I’m not going to tell you what it is yet. I first have to go out and Do Stuff so can bring together a decent ‘show and tell’ on the idea.

You’re going to love it.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030507

Time
09:13
Tom is right. I think this is well out of order (if, indeed, it turns out to be true).

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030507

Time
09:20
Read some horror stories from the front-lines of food service.

I was a waiter once. 24-hour joint in western Sydney. The Lebanese Mafia pretty much had the run of the place from midnight to dawn, but the ribs were to die for.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030507

Time
09:25
Cloudmark’s Spamnet chugged along nicely in a short test yesterday, but it’s only configured for Outlook at this stage. I’ve put myself on the alert list for when it’s available on Outlook Express.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030507

Time
09:30
Associated Press Puts Violent Words in Iraqi Protesters’ Mouths

Truth has been a major casualty, as the cliche goes – and that goes for both sides.

Oh, and Bush could have landed on the Lincoln in a helicopter if he wanted to. But no, he just had to arrive on a jet. So he could benefit from a ‘realistic experience,’ you understand – nothing to do history-making photo opportunities.

He had his chance for a realistic experience back in ’72, but chose to dodge military service. He didn’t inhale, either. Oh, wait, wrong president. George was a snorter, not a toker.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030507

Time
09:41
Judge rules that “Do I get to see my attorneys?” is not actually a request to see a lawyer.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030507

Time
09:43
It’s not me. I wear a rather dashing green cape.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030507
Headlines of Glory
Time
09:45
Man carrying severed head through town arrested

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030507

Time
09:46
U.S. to Release About 15 Detainees at Guantanamo. It’s not all good news. Read it in full, then have a little browse between the lines.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030507

Time
09:49
There’s more, but that’s about it for now. I’m doing my first project with Flash, so it’s head-down-arse-up time for most of the day.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030508

Time
08:38
Pravda: American students think that it was the USA that won WWII.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030508

Time
08:39
Authorities in Wisconsin have been on the trail of a mystery dumper for months, suspecting many things but never quite nailing down the nature, or the source, of bags of mysterious green slime. Last Friday they found the culprit and the answer they were looking for. They didn’t like it, and neither will you.

(Is it lunchtime where you are? Best skip the above link, then. You’re better off not knowing. Really.)

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030508

Time
08:48
Walter Cronkite is listed among a number of broadcast journalists who have been hired to appear in videos resembling newscasts that are actually paid for by drug makers and other health care companies (requires registration). Trusted faces mean trusted brands, folks.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030508

Time
08:51
Listen to authentic porn music when downloading your share of the filthy stuff today. I’ll have something else on this front soon. Hang in there.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030508

Time
08:54
Chewing gum stuck on end of ruler retrieves $1.825 million

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030508

Time
08:56
Get into shape this summer with housegymnastics.com (via FunJunkie).

I used to be a nut for this kind of thing when I was 8 years old. I could get from one end of the rumpus room to the other without touching the carpet once. This wasn’t easy – even the toy boxes were topped with a luxuriant blue shag pile.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030508

Time
09:02
5th-grader given patent approval for brilliant idea that will lighten your wallet. No, not that way – it’s an ingenious way to minimise the number of loyalty/reward cards you carry.

I’ve got an even better way. Don’t carry them at all.

Remember that old adage about it not being worth your time to bend over and pick up a penny? I’ve done a few calculations, and have worked out that it’s not even worth carrying these things around, much less fishing them out every time you make a purchase. Now the store owners are fighting back by asking me every time I go in if I have such-and-such a card – so I have to waste breath saying ‘No!’

Wankers.

If they want my loyalty, they should simply charge less for a can of chopped tomatoes – and remove the bloody great big toy section they’ve just put in, so I can take the kids grocery shopping again.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030508

Time
09:11
Activist takes pro-pot argument to Canadian Supreme Court. This article contains the quote of the day, from the man who actually had a modest hit of hash to focus his mind before facing a panel of 9 judges:

“I was happy, hungry and relaxed, but I was not impaired.”

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030508
Headlines of Glory
Time
09:18
Man Slices Own Head Off in Supermarket Suicide

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030508

Time
09:19
Well, what do you know? The White House has changed their story regarding the jet landing on the USS Abraham Lincoln. It seems they planned for a landing waaaaaaaay out to sea, but by the time they were ready to leave, ‘the carrier had come hundreds of miles closer to shore than expected because of the weather.’

Right.

Senator Robert C. Byrd (who, you may remember, has been blogged here before for making surprisingly sensible comments) told the Senate that he was ‘deeply troubled’ by Bush’s actions, going on to say:

“I do not begrudge his salute to America’s warriors aboard the carrier Lincoln . . . but I do question the motives of a deskbound president who assumes the garb of a warrior for the purposes of a speech.”

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030508

Time
09:29
Yay! I like a good 404, me.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030508

Time
10:08
The wife and I were supposed to use our free plane tickets to Paris this past weekend, but we couldn’t go for a number of reasons (an expired Passport being one of them).

Now I have to get something solid together for our 10th wedding anniversary (less than two months away). Any ideas? Help!

Also on the subject of travel, I’ll be heading to Boston in June to play a modest role at this weblog conference. I’ll be spending a fair amount of time with Scott, who has kindly agreed to put me up for the few days I’ll be in town, but if any other readers are in Boston (or are planning on attending the conference) and want to hook up, just drop me a line.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030509
Flash Games
Time
09:20
Yay! Psycho Bondage Bunnies rule!

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030509

Time
09:20
From Deep Thinking About Weblogs:

”…fundamentally, weblogs encourage publishing by making it really easy to publish.”

It’s spot on about this and a few other points, but like many articles that broach the subject of actual cash generation, it assumes the only money to be made from weblogs is in some form of e-commerce, affiliate deal or tip jar. Oh, wait, no – it does touch on reality with the following throwaway sentence:

“Finally, for many individuals and businesses, the self-promotional benefits of weblogging are reward enough.”

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030509

Time
09:24
Cats ‘farmed for skins in EU’ says the headline. ‘EU chock-full of primitive savages unlike our American cousins’ reads the subtext. BTW, some people have taken to hating Americans lately. Me, I just hate cats.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030509
Not Safe For Work
Time
09:31
The Porn Banner Showcase displays and reviews some of the worst in porn advertising.

On the subject of porn, Paypal will stop taking payments for most adult-themed merchandise over the next five weeks. So, who will win the inevitable battle for porn-specific e-currency supremacy?

(Take a look at your money, BTW. It may very well say ‘In God We Trust,’ but does it also say: ‘Not to be spent on hookers’?)

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030509

Time
09:40
From today, crappy plastic shopping bags are illegal in South Africa.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030509
Murdoch is a Bastard
Time
09:43
The House of Lords has been granted extra time to debate controversial changes to the media ownership rules. One of the proposed changes would allow Rupert Murdoch to buy Channel Five, which would pretty much be the death of terrestrial television in the UK.

Oh, and the Fox News Channel (that’s the one closest to Murdoch’s black heart, not Sky News, which is pretty much Murdoch-lite until he gets his way on terrestrial) is under investigation by television regulators in Britain for alleged bias.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030509

Time
09:56
As usual, Microsoft arrives late at the party, and will no doubt expect to be the one doling out drinks and choosing the music.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030509

Time
09:58
Enjoy the full transcript of James Baker being stung by Ali G (requires registration).

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030509

Time
10:50
El Reg: Google to fix blog noise problem

Don’t be thrown off by the headline and the bullish tone of the article. I’ve read a number of articles about blogs on The Register. There haven’t been many of them, but most of them have been critical and nearly all of them have been by the same journalist – Andrew Orlowski.

Rich said it best this morning:

“I’ve been getting more and more annoyed with his partisan approach to weblogs. Its like he got bitten by a weblog when he was a kid or something.”

Heh.

This latest article by Andrew starts off by making one hell of an assumption and bases the rest of its case on the same kind of idle chatter that he criticises blogs for indulging in.

How can Google discount blogs when it’s slowly but surely becoming the norm? I wouldn’t be surprised by – or worried about – a cleanout of some automated linkage, but the announcement from Google reads to me like the proposed introduction of another useful tab providing a service not unlike the oft-overloaded Daypop (and quite possibly in the beta stage based mainly on Blogger users).

I certainly can’t see Google or Google users benefiting from the forced segregation of those who dare to publish more than once a month.

Anyway, enough idle chitchat. Let’s talk about you. How are you? Did I mention that I hate cats?

UPDATE – That said, I have noticed in the last few days that Google has been indexing many sites daily/regularly, but not announcing as much in the search results. Something new is ticking over in the background – but I still can’t see it being anywhere near as extreme as Andrew makes it out to be. He just wishes is all.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030509
Photoshopping
Time
15:18
“Yeah? Well, you *better* be sure, Egon!”

You see what happens when someone makes one harmless remark when they don’t think anyone is listening?

As usual, a larger version is on display over at B3ta.

The Star Wars Photoshopping Project is now into its 12th page.

The latest version of the screensaver is terribly, terribly out of date, though. I’ll see if I can’t update it sometime soon.

UPDATE – Well, that was pretty painless. A new screensaver had been made with 40 of the best images to date and is now available for download.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030509

Time
15:29
This Sunday is May 11th. Again.

Click here to prepare an appropriate activity for this very special day.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030511

Time
19:45
The next project is ready to role but – typically – my FTP access is on the fritz. Plus I have to rush out in the morning to move furniture. I’ll do what I can to clear the problem and upload the whole shebang before I leave.

PS – Today, I chose a car completely at random and followed it. It went to the local rubbish tip, where I found some much-needed empty CD cases and a 12-volt transformer that is sure to come in handy when I least expect it. The attendants at the tip were not without a sense of humour, and allowed me to walk off with my booty.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030512

Time
08:31
‘Klingon interpreter sought for mental health patients,’ reads the headline – the thrust of the story being that a mental care facility in Multnomah County, Oregon requires a translator to help process new inmates that are convinced that they’re dispossessed Klingon warriors.

It’s at The Sydney Morning Herald, MSNBC, CNN… I could go on, but it’s too damn depressing.

They’ve all been had.

What? You didn’t know that journalists were fallible human beings? (Well, fallible anyway…) Have a crack at this, then:

A New York Times journalist has been busted for fabricating, filling or faking the majority of his stories. The Washington Times has the story, as does (*ahem*) The New York Times (requires registration).

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030512

Time
08:32
Coach suspended after kids find, watch adult video. The kids found the video in his desk drawer when they were mucking around in his office.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030512

Time
08:37
Read about the funding to fight sea lampreys and other such last-minute additions to the war bill rubber-stamped by Congress.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030512

Time
08:42
Hans Blix and the UN team aren’t being allowed back in, and it looks like the U.S. inspection team is going home empty-handed. So where are those pesky WMDs?

BTW, the latest line on why they weren’t used by a heartless regime under extreme threat is as follows:

‘The weapons were so well hidden that they couldn’t find them in time to use them.’

Well, these things can happen when you hide your WMDs in a parallel universe.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030512

Time
08:52
Two Oakland students, in a class discussion about the war in Iraq, made remarks that were interpreted by their teacher as a direct threat against the president. So she called the Secret Service. The students were duly questioned. I’ve no doubt the brown-trousers moment was also entered into their permanent record.

The fight for freedom goes on…

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030512

Time
08:54
You just have to take time to meet The Phil Kent Family today. Phil puts the ‘fun’ into fundamentalism.

Does a husband have the right to discipline his wife? No, he has a responsibility to.

‘Once you start allowing women to spiritually teach and have authority over men, you have opened the door to homosexuals.’

And so on…

BTW, new legislation in the UK will allow faith schools, churches, hospices and other religious employers to sack lesbian and gay staff. The big clue is in the ‘other religious employers’ bit. You don’t have to work for a religious organisation to be under threat, you just have to work for a company run “with an ethos based on religion or belief.”

In other words, owned or run by a man like Phil Kent. Or Brian Souter. You get the picture.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030512

Time
09:22
Hmmm. Lots of politics in today’s batch. Sorry about that. If you want some simple fun, pop over to Headwindow, which has another excellent crop of goodies today.

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Date
20030512
Riding High on Blogdex
Time
09:37
Make your own safety sign. Heh. Now that would have been really handy for The Out Of Order Project. Too bad that it’s time to move on in 5, 4, 3…

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Date
20030512
The ???? Project
Time
09:50
Argh! I’d really hoped to have the new project live before leaving, but my FTP access is still down.

I’ll have to post it later today. Hang in there.

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Date
20030512
The Humanity vs. Anarchy Project
Time
13:53
OK, folks – it’s live:

The Humanity vs. Anarchy Project

Will it be as successful as the Out Of Order Project?

If so, which word will win out in the end?

Let’s find out.

All feedback is appreciated.

Emails to the usual address.

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Date
20030512
Richard Desmond is a Pornographer
Time
15:03
Google Announces UK News Service. Actually, I found the generic news service useful enough as it was.

Oh well. Let’s use it to see what Richard Desmond is up to.

Ah, much joy today.

A leading media buyer accepted payments from Richard Desmond’s Express Newspapers in return for putting advertising into the company’s publications.

Also, Richard seems to have ideas above his station. He’s worried about being compared to Jesus.

“There has been so much rubbish written about me and I’ve kept quiet. It’s not nice being constantly vilified and attacked,” he said.

Desmond is being attacked? Heavens, no!

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Date
20030512

Time
15:40
Well, what do you know? That is a weird picture.

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Date
20030512

Time
16:42
Clare Short has resigned. For real this time. And, some would say, 9 weeks too late.

Still, there was no guarantee that her resignation would have swung enough votes to stop our involvement in the Iraq war – and the point over which she has resigned is just as important, if not more so.

Duyba’s team is setting up a system that would see the country stripped clean well inside 12 months. It also undermines the authority of the UN and sets the stage for more terrorist attacks, not less.

In her resignation statement she made quite a few good points, but the best one went more or less as follows:

The UK should have drawn the line over this, not provided cover – for the good or Iraqi, and for the good of the U.S.

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Date
20030512

Time
16:51
A friend and associate of mine, Martin Lloyd, has been blogging almost specifially to chronicle ‘the process of applying for and taking an MBA.’ You can read the article that appeared about him in The Times here, because it sure as hell doesn’t appear anywhere on The Times’ website.

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Date
20030512
The Humanity vs. Anarchy Project
Time
16:56
Ladies and gentlemen, our first foreign city to enjoy coverage is Oslo. The word chosen is humanity.



BTW, I’ll be in London for most of tomorrow and busily chalking away. I’d tell you where, but I don’t want to find a dozen police waiting for me.

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Date
20030513
Flash Games
Time
08:33
How steady is your mouse hand? Find out with this cool robot game.

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Date
20030513

Time
08:35
Computer traps Thai minister in his car. Thankfully, it wasn’t this car.

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Date
20030513

Time
08:36
Blogmatcher makes pretty good use of incestuous linkage, but loses points for a crap attempt at looking like Google.

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Date
20030513

Time
08:40
Confessions of a former spammer. Wow, we actually reached one! After months of being tracked down and confronted by anti-spam campaigners, Duncan Shiels had this to say:

“I realized I didn’t like to sell anything that nobody wants or needs or despises. I started to realize people just hate this so much.”

I’m so happy about this, I’m even going to plug his new business site. If your heart just skipped a beat at that, worry not – help is on the way.

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Date
20030513

Time
08:48
Peter rescued a black bunny from a car park and took it home. Take a look at the damage it then did to his computer.

Those demonic eyes should have been Clue No. 1 – he’s got nobody to blame but himself.

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Date
20030513

Time
08:53
Finally, an Interwebnet Timeline we can relate to. This link is pretty much everywhere this morning. The creator looks to be Farker, BTW.

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Date
20030513

Time
08:56
New York Post: Disgraced ex-New York Times reporter Jayson Blair in hospital dealing with “personal problems”

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Date
20030513

Time
09:01
Imagine being confronted by a bully and running way, only to find the same bully waiting for you around the corner. That’s quite a story. It’s not often that both twins are evil.

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Date
20030513

Time
09:06
I’m sure it won’t surprise you at all to discover that JFK had a 19-year-old intern who traveled with him on official trips.

“Apparently, her only skill was to provide sexual release for JFK on those trips and maybe in the White House,” said Robert Dallek, author of yet another Kennedy biography.

The third paragraph will make you snigger.

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Date
20030513

Time
09:10
Typical. The Federal Communications Commission intends to lift restrictions on media ownership that could allow your local newspaper, cable provider, radio stations, and TV channels in the U.S. all to be owned by one company, but most folks are more worried about a ban on the sale of Oreo cookies to children.

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Date
20030513
The Humanity vs. Anarchy Project
Time
09:14
I’ll be busy chalking (and perhaps doing a bit of work) in London for most of the rest of the day, but I’d love to come back and find lots of lovely email waiting for me. Join us. Join us now.

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Date
20030513
How Weblogs Work
Time
18:10
I was having a casual browse through Tom’s site (and was quite impressed by the effect of one small comment, BTW) when I followed static linkage over to VoxPolitics and saw that yet another MP has chosen to question Tony over his continued lack of email address.

It’s all very exciting, isn’t it?

Get in touch with your MP today, and tell them to get blogged up or prepare to make way for a rival who does.

Politicians have had to adapt to radio and TV; they now have to come to terms with online communication.

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Date
20030513

Time
18:30
Hey folks. I’m operating remotely, so I can’t access email right now (and may not be home until quite late). I’ll catch up with what I can tomorrow.

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Date
20030514

Time
16:51
Sorry, folks. A busy day yesterday, and an even busier day today. Sleep happens now. I’ll be back on deck with the full magilla tomorrow.

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Date
20030515

Time
09:00
‘Buffalo Spammer’ arrested on four felony and two misdemeanor counts. Don’t expect the cops to turn up on Ronald Scelson’s doorstep anytime soon; this early case is mostly about stolen identities.

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Date
20030515

Time
09:03
Some stills from the withdrawn Madonna video for you to enjoy, courtesy of The Memory Hole.

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Date
20030515

Time
09:12
A great article on the dangers of private media ownership. It requires registration, but here’s a quote straight from the guts of it about your friend and mine, the ever-lovable Mr Rupert Murdoch:

In the United States, Mr. Murdoch’s media empire — which includes Fox News and The New York Post — is known for its flag-waving patriotism. But all that patriotism didn’t stop him from, as a Fortune article put it, “pandering to China’s repressive regime to get his programming into that vast market.” The pandering included dropping the BBC’s World Service — which reports news China’s government doesn’t want disseminated — from his satellite programming, and having his publishing company cancel the publication of a book critical of the Chinese regime.

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Date
20030515

Time
09:14
The iLoo wasn’t a hoax, just a very bad idea. Now canned. And confusing the hell out of conflicting PR departments.

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Date
20030515

Time
09:17
The handsome chap from wifeodyssey.com is seeking the perfect missus. Prospective candidates whould have ‘a nice sleek, flat little chest and a nicely rounded little poochy tummy.’ Oh, and an appendix scar. No tattoos.

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Date
20030515

Time
09:23
Another ‘drugs sold in drive-through’ story? I’m getting pretty tired of these. Try instead the crackhouse police can’t tear down because it’s a protected historic site.

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Date
20030515

Time
09:27
Senator Bob Graham has accused the Bush administration of engaging in a cover-up of intelligence failures before and after the September 11th attacks. Seems it’s all just too embarrassing. But enough about that – let’s talk about the weather.

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Date
20030515
Flash Music Video
Time
09:37
I can take or leave the song, but the show did give me at least one belly laugh: take a look at all the short people in Hollywood.

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Date
20030515

Time
09:57
The Star Wars Kid has been found! Who is the Star Wars Kid? Just some chubby Jedi wannabe who practised his lightsaber technique in front of the school video camera – and then forgot to take the tape with him. The original ended up on the Interwebnet, and was soon remixed with full saber and sound effects. Both videos can be found by following the link at the top of the destination page – and both will make you laugh like a drain. The related Fark thread – somewhat inevitably you might think – includes a mention of our search for Mustard Man.

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Date
20030515

Time
10:23
So is Blogosphere just another aggregator? Yes and no. Mostly yes.

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Date
20030515

Time
10:24
Shades of ready.gov abuse:

How To Communicate With A Deaf Hooker

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Date
20030515
The Humanity vs. Anarchy Project
Time
12:08
I had a quick and quiet moment of stunning clarity the day before yesterday. While out and about in London, I decided to stop by the location of the incident that inspired this further action. This photo was taken at the very spot where I was grabbed by police and shoved inside the cordon. Here’s a bigger picture actually taken on that day. Have a closer look at the statue. You may have to squint to read what it says on the front, but then again you may just be able to guess.

Not bad shakes as far as shivers go. I really have to keep a closer eye on my subconscious.

Now, onwards with the updates. The Humanity vs. Anarchy Project has been updated to include photos of London activity. Did I get carried away? Well…

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Date
20030515
It’s War! And There’s Medals For All!
Time
12:25
WTF? How did I miss this?

Bush, Blair Nominated for Nobel Prize for Iraq War

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Date
20030515

Time
12:38
Oh, I like this: Join the London Riot Re-enactment Society today. Their aim? ‘To stage re-enactments of noted riots from London’s history, with some attempt at historical accuracy’. Heh.

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Date
20030515

Time
15:26
Planning on seeing Matrix Reloaded? The AintItCool reviews are kind of harsh and chock-full of spoilers. I much prefer the Landover Baptist review.








Posted in Uncategorized | Comments Off

London May Day 2003

May Day London 2003

The day started out simply enough with a trip to Canary Wharf. I must say the police presence surprised me. These were the first three policepersons I saw, and I popped my bags of shoeboxes down for a quick picture. Sharp-eyed locals will no doubt recognise the Daisy & Tom shopping bag that clearly identifies me as a hardcore anarchist.

May Day London 2003

I figured there’d be plenty to get on with on the day, so decided to get the wanky art out of the way first (see London Peace March for previous wanky art). The point of the exercise was to plant open shoeboxes (containing the pictured ‘authentic’ incriminating document) that could be conveniently discovered by Daily Telegraph ‘journalists.’

May Day London 2003

Discovery was a major part of the work, so it wasn’t quite as simple as delivering a box to the front desk. I left the first two in the care of these gentlemen facing the Canary Wharf Tower.

May Day London 2003

I also left some facing the ‘smokers corner’ out front of the building, in the park a small distance from the main building (presumably reserved for more anti-social smokers) and in this cosy little basket.

May Day London 2003

Finally, I headed into the shopping complex below the building and left a few more ready to be discovered, including this one located where most right-wing journalists do the majority of their thinking (and dating, if you believe the gossip).

May Day London 2003

From here, I made a clean ‘getaway’ via Docklands Light Railway (you can see the last one I left in place under the seat there).

BTW, the inverted commas are there because I actually had to ask a policeman for directions. Hardly the crime of the century. Still, Canary Wharf wasn’t an ‘official’ target as far as I knew, but I had mentioned my intentions regarding this installation on the Urban75 web forum (favourite for authoritarian lurkers). Could all of those police really have been there just to hassle little old me? I can only assume not, as I did the entire installation in full view of a number of police and security guards, towing a dirty great black plastic bag. And stopping to take photos every few minutes.

No matter. The train took me all the way to Bank. I toodled right along, because I was late for the disco.

May Day London 2003

En route, I met the following happy individuals, intent on cleaning up capitalism. They gave the Bank Of England a darn good polishing…

May Day London 2003

…only to get questioned by the police for their troubles. This certainly wasn’t the only overreaction of the day, but I’m getting a wee bit ahead of myself.

May Day London 2003

I wanted to hook up with the Space Hijackers, as their planned event had a simple agenda rooted in good old-fashioned fun. The mobile disco had a modest turnout, but was far from disappointing. I must admit that I did little dancing myself, but after 10 years of DJing, you kind of get used to standing back and watching everyone else have a good time. Sad, isn’t it?

May Day London 2003

Still, there was plenty to keep me entertained. When this visibly high-risk group headed towards Liverpool Street, they and the partygoers they had recruited were followed by close to a dozen police.

May Day London 2003

They drew quite an audience at Liverpool Street Station, including yet more police. Clearly nobody had anything better to do. Many lunch breaks ran into overtime.

May Day London 2003

“Caucasian male. Dark Suit. Red tie. Appears to be doing the Funky Chicken. Caucasian male. Dark suit. Blue tie. Clearly seen to limbo in a public place.”

May Day London 2003

Sadly, I had to leave the mobile disco, as I wanted to see what kind of turnout they would get at the Lockheed Martin building. I took this one last picture of the gathered audience outside, before catching the Central Line to Tottenham Court Road.

May Day London 2003

It was time for a change of pace.

May Day London 2003

It was a pretty good turnout, erm, as it turned out. I mostly busied myself with distributing surgical face-masks to those worried about the SARS virus and/or trial by media, as well as Out Of Order stickers to those concerned about the functionality of the system at large. I did, however, manage to get this picture at that vital moment when the traffic finally ground to halt. From this point on, police held the line that if you were on the road, you were an anarchist. If you were on the pavement, you were a bystander. This rule held even if the road were shut off for two blocks in either direction. I really should have remembered this, but again, I’m getting a wee bit ahead of myself.

May Day London 2003

This brave gentleman headed into the centre of the crowd claiming to be a Capitalist And Proud Of It…

May Day London 2003

…he was removed by the police for his own safety. Yes, that is an Out Of Order sticker he’s wearing. Fine by me. The joy of the Out Of Order Project is that it’s open to personal interpretation. One of the few nice policepersons I met on the day asked for a sticker as a souvenir, and actually stuck it to his inside vest – then swiftly moved it to his report book when I whipped my camera out. Heh.

May Day London 2003

From here everybody started marching down nearby Shaftesbury Avenue, and things looked pretty casual for a while…

May Day London 2003

… but about a block down the road, the rear cordon began. Police quite pointedly made it clear to anybody on the fringes that if you went in; you stayed in. Fair warning, or subtle intimidation?

May Day London 2003

Well, the photographers moved in a few minutes later, and the vans weren’t far behind, so I’m inclined to think the latter.

May Day London 2003

Here are a few folks carefully thinking it over. Numbers down this year? Here’s where about half of them went. Quite a few Parents With Prams backed off from this point on.

May Day London 2003

And here come the vans!

May Day London 2003

From here, the protestors were hemmed in and carefully guided toward Trafalgar Square. The crowd tried to change direction early on, and even had mixed success with the occasional side road, but disruption was limited to about a block a time. A sound tactic in theory, but the very deliberate warnings had stuck in my mind. A shut-in wasn’t far away. In fact, it was more or less already in effect.

May Day London 2003

Those who tried to leave the march at this stage were edited according to police tastes. If you looked like a tourist, you were allowed to leave. If you looked like a soap-dodger, you were staying right where you were. It was at this stage that I actually ran into Mike Slocombe (of Urban 75), pictured here giving an interview after being, as he described it, illegally detained. Two or three years ago, I would have mocked him for overreacting. I was two blocks away from an even more pronounced shift of opinion.

May Day London 2003

It’s important to note that the mood of the crowd didn’t change until the police tactics did. A serious shut-in took place about three blocks north of Trafalgar Square. They then almost doubled in numbers, and pushed the crowd in nice and tight, narrowing the cordon across the width of the road. Not to allow any kind of access, mind, just to make the gathering look as dangerous as possible and to dish out a mild form of physical punishment.

It was at this stage that I walked past what was clearly a monitoring van, surrounded by a few undercover guys. A quick glimpse inside showed the comprehensive face-by-face indexing was going on – and these were people that had not necessarily chosen to be where they were.

I whipped out my remaining box of surgical masks. I took one step onto the road (to join several other people with cameras) while considering my options. Big mistake – remember the arbitrary rule about roads and pavements?

I was actually grabbed by a policeman, dragged 12 feet across the road, and shoved inside the cordon!

I shit you not.

May Day London 2003

It all happened so fast, I didn’t get the officer’s number, but he was uniform – and had one eyebrow doing the job of two. He disappeared pretty sharpish. All the policemen who clearly saw me being shoved in from across the road claimed to be completely ignorant of my situation. I was inside the cordon, and there I was going to stay. I tried to leave early on (it was patently ridiculous, they had all seen what happened, etc.), but got a hefty shove in the middle of the chest for my troubles. Boos from the crowd. I asked to see a senior officer a number of times, but was given the ‘he’s over there… no, he’s not here, he’s over there’ run around.

I had no problem being hemmed in, shoved around and digitally indexed, really (damn, I’d published everything I was going to do and was well within my rights to do it) but there was a principle at stake. You know what I’m like with those pesky principles. I tend to stick to my guns.

May Day London 2003

Remember this face. This is one of the guys who ‘knew nothing’ about my situation, so was ‘completely helpless.’ We were being held ‘for our own protection and in the interests of public safety.’ If indeed it were true that I had been shoved across the road and inside the cordon, then that would have to be a serious matter to be discussed with a senior officer, but he had no indication that this truly was the case, so as far as he was concerned, I was there voluntarily. Tough. You wanna try holding that camera still, buddy – it looks like you’re shaking a bit there. And so on.

Scary, huh? After promising wife, mother and kids that I would be careful, here I was being outwitted by a bunch of halfwits. It was the trust issue that got me. I actually found it completely inconceivable that a policeman would abuse his power in such a way.

I argued with a number of police until I was blue in the face. Actually, I kind of argued until I was white in the face. That stomach virus and dealing with the rush of activity around it had pretty much knocked the stuffing out of me. On this day, after 8 hours of operating on breakfast alone (and a rather ill-advised scotch and cola en route), I suddenly dropped on the spot in a dead faint.

There were legs, arms, a couple of voices, but I didn’t really come to until I found myself sitting on my arse outside the cordon with two police medics in attendance.

Got bag? Yep. Got camera? Yep.

Bodily inventory? Everything intact, and largely unscathed. Good. State of mind? Wits returning, but dignity shot to hell. Still, you can’t have everything.

They offered me water, but I fished my own bottle out, along with a chocolate bar. The sugar rush obviously brought the colour back to my face, because the worried look on the medic’s face faded away as my focus returned…

…just in time to see the chap you see pictured above tell the medics that I was an organiser (!) and obviously faking it. He wanted me dragged back inside the cordon. Now. Get up, son. A look from one of the medics sent him on his way, but my climb back to reality just got a lot steeper.

A person is an illegal detainee if they are prevented from proceeding or restrained in custody in violation of the law – and I had been specifically singled out and collared for that purpose. This so-called servant of the public, and no doubt most of the smug gits around him, knew exactly what was going on. I was calmly and deliberately being taught a lesson.

Lesson noted. Congratulations to the police on a job well done. I used to be a Sometime Concerned Citizen. Now I’m a Determined Activist. What choice do I have?

May Day London 2003








Posted in Consume!, Photos, Uncategorized | Comments Off

16-30 April, 2003

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Date
20030416

Time
09:03
This sneering, woefully incorrect article by a Murdoch flunky makes me so angry I could spit. Andrew Bolt is an asshat who needs to get off his high horse and pick up one of these instead.

To answer his question – I’m still here and I still think that this war was wrong.

(Why am I using the past tense like Andrew the ‘it’s all over’ Asshat?)

Is wrong. To use an analogy even Andrew can understand, the U.S. has acted like a corrupt cop. I don’t care if they catch the criminal (which they haven’t) or finally find the evidence (which they haven’t) the methods they have used are illegal and completely without justification.

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Date
20030416
Riding High on Blogdex
Time
09:18
Saddam Starred in Gay Porn Films!

Or at least, one of the 1,562,342 people who look like him did. I’m sorry, this is a very amusing story, but can only be confirmed if somebody was around to take a DNA sample from the money shot.

(Oh, and that video of Britney Spears giving multiple blowjobs is real, too. It looks just like her, dontcha know?)

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Date
20030416

Time
09:24
Match the penis to the blogger (not suitable for young’uns) or gaze at natural formations that look like tits, bums and willies (not suitable for geologists of a sensitive nature).

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Date
20030416

Time
09:29
Shoplifting suspect bolts, leaves baby daughter in store.

“She’s a beautiful little girl,” said store manager Lauren Hensley, who sounds like one of those scary ladies that end up wanting to keep the sproglet.

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Date
20030416

Time
09:34
Remember 8march2003.com?

It was designed to plug a novel.

Mine’s doing fine, by the way. I’m actually looking for a few names for minor characters right now. Drop me a line if you want your name to be in the book.

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Date
20030416

Time
09:38
Did CNN Turn Up The Boos During Michael Moore’s Speech? Some evidence here for you to consider. You might also wish to take their past record into account.

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Date
20030416
Flash Games
Time
09:43
Gasteroids is pretty much what you would expect from the name. I too shoot follow-through pellets that can shatter an asteroid.

(Link via FunJunkie)

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Date
20030416

Time
09:46
Nude retiree arrested while mowing lawn. For being nude, or for mowing the lawn?

Also doing the rounds is the sixth-grader arrested for stomping in a puddle and this fine Looney Tunes moment.

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Date
20030416
Photoshopping
Time
12:12
Jon Crowley piped up with some excellent suggestions for The Star Wars Photoshopping Project. One was for the Beatles.

This was the only way to fit everybody in.

Big’un is over at B3ta.

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Date
20030416
Civil Disobedience
Time
12:16
I’ve got to stop leaving Out of Order signs around the house. Our 5-year-old son just labelled the TV.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030416
Updates
Time
16:20
Headwindow has been added to the ‘follow me’ list. In case you haven’t worked it out yet, these are the few sites that I visit every single day. It is a great honour to be included in this list, and in return for such linkage I expect nothing less than daily amusement and regular blood sacrifices.

Can Weblogs Go To Washington? and the accompanying article Why Politicians Need Weblogs have also gone live. These are mostly static versions of material blogged yesterday and the day before, so try not to get too excited about it.

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Date
20030416

Time
16:38
Ahahahahahahahahaha!

Quite possibly the best pub in the world.

Dammit, I was just in Dorset, too… how did I miss this?



(This fine site was made by a B3tan. I missed its debut while I was out shagging badgers.)

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Date
20030416

Time
16:55
Another article about Tom Watson’s site. This one focuses on the ‘teens’ page and how a Guardian journalist completely missed the point (hey, not all of them are up on the Interwebnet, you know).

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030417

Time
09:47
Sorry I’m late. An evil stomach bug has hit this house like a bomb. It’s a nasty little bugger that takes you right into the dry heaves as your stomach tries to turn inside urge purging the fucker. We were up until 3am dealing with one sproglet, and woke to find another dealing with it. One more kid to go, and we’re next.

So, remind me again why it’s a good idea to breed?

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030417

Time
09:51
Doc Searls wants us all to work on the recovery of stolen Iraqi art treasures. I saw a question relating to this during the 40 minutes I wasted at inaugural ‘Ask the White House’ online discussion last night. (Hmm, come to think of it, the vomiting started soon after this…)

I love that the British Museum has offered to help. Perhaps they can start by returning the stolen Iraqi art treasures in their possession.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030417

Time
09:59
I must admit to being quite impressed on the first view of the new Honda Accord ad (there’s a mirror of it here if you find that site a bit slow). As a ‘made for TV ad that gone viral,’ this is probably going to do as well as the John West commercial, but it does worry me how ready people are to believe that it was all done in one take (it took 606 takes, dontcha know?) and no camera trickery or cgi flim-flammery was involved.

While we’re on the subject of healthy cynicism, quite a few people are excited about Moby submitting to The Mirror Project, but that looks like a Photoshopped effort to me. The line at the bottom of the mirror is a little hazy for my liking, and those lens flares appear to exist for no other reason but to mask a sin or two.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030417

Time
10:10
Well fuck me if it’s not illegal to swear in Chicago. Feel free to let fly, though. You stand very little chance of getting arrested. Unless, of course, you walk around calling Bush a c…

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Date
20030417

Time
10:15
Coming soon to the Fox network: When Toys Attack II

Teenager blinded by spud gun

Girl killed by model plane

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Date
20030417
Does What What It Says On The Tin
Time
10:18
showmeyourwound.com has to be the world’s greatest pick-up line.

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Date
20030417

Time
10:21
Burglar showers and tidies up a bit before leaving. He also left his his dirty jeans behind, and $51.65 in cash. The strawberries on the kitchen table were an especially nice touch.

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Date
20030417

Time
10:24
Doctors present at rescue of Private Jessica question accuracy of official account. A staged operation and shameless myth-building from the US military? Never!

(Oh, time to remind ourselves again just how many joyful Iraqis were actually present at the toppling of Saddam’s statue.)

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Date
20030417

Time
10:29
43 Bridgewater-Raynham Regional High School students have been busted drinking and smoking drugs. 13 have been suspended, the rest were grassed up to their parents. A concerned parent saw images of the foul and totally out of character deeds on a website, and forwarded the details to school officials.

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Date
20030417
Jesus Week II
Time
10:37
We had a special ‘Jesus Week’ last Easter to carry folks over the holiday break. I’ll be doing the same again this Easter, so feel free to submit any juicy Jebus goodness you think should be included.

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Date
20030417
Photoshopping
Time
13:18
More joy from The Star Wars Photoshopping Project (the 11th page is filling out nicely).

As usual, a big’un is being shown off at B3ta.

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Date
20030418

Time
09:14
Here, this’ll keep you busy for a while. Watch the 1979 film ‘Jesus’ (all two hours of it) via the web, courtesy of The Jesus Film Project. This wonderful example of Christian propaganda is available in over 800 languages, but these lazy buggers have only managed to suck up the bandwidth with 54 online versions. Somebody should write a letter.

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Date
20030418

Time
09:23
Tip for Christian rock bands: try not to fucking swear during interviews.

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Date
20030418

Time
09:24
God helps those who help themselves: Christians for the cloning of Jesus.

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Date
20030418

Time
09:28
Theresa Rector is yodeling for Jesus. After several failed marriages and years of alcohol and drug abuse, the Holy Spirit spoke to Theresa and through ‘prophetic dreams and visions’ helped here to write the landmark song: I Wanna Yodel for the LORD!

More songs followed, and you can now download samples of such great works as Hallelulollalululujah Praise The Lord and I’m Gonna Yodel My Way To Heaven in MP3 format and/or buy the full inspirational collection on cassette or CD.

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Date
20030418

Time
09:38
Was Jesus and astronaut? Close. He was and is an evil shape-shifting alien out to dominate the world. Think happy thoughts.

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Date
20030418

Time
09:41
Man makes joke website asking What Would Jesus Drive?

Idea is hijacked by anti-SUV brigade.

Official site is launched as campaign grows.

Next logical step?

The ‘What Would Jesus Drive?’ weblog.

It’s all a bit worrying, and no-one seems to have come up with a definitive answer, but we can confirm that God Drives a Galaxy.

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Date
20030418

Time
09:52
Yay! It’s The Biblical Action Figures Collection!

Sorry kids, they don’t transform. No weapons, either. But each figure does come with its own background play scenery (i.e. a piece of printed cardboard) and can actually help you on the way to spiritual enlightenment (if you inhale the fumes as you melt one over a slow flame).

I love the domain name of this site. Says it all, really.

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Date
20030418

Time
10:05
Are you addicted to chocolate, or addicted to Jesus?

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Date
20030418
Jesus Week II
Time
10:09


A modest collection of links to keep you going over the Easter break. If anything else turns up, I may drop by to blog that, too.

But don’t count on it.

May Jebus bless you and may your holiday break be as cold and empty as a hollow chocolate egg.

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Date
20030418

Time
10:26
This just in: Romanian Priests Suspended For Blessing Brothels.

Oh, and can anyone explain why so many people are interested in Mustard Man today? Is there a religious connection? I’m dying to know.

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Date
20030421

Time
18:42
That stomach bug that hit us last Thursday is truly, truly evil. After going through two of our kids, it seemed to pass by the third – and us. Or so we thought.

Sunday night. There is a short discussion as the boys go to bed about the state of their room. There is a large pile of books, toys and clothes in the corner that is the result of their last few attempts to ‘tidy’ their room. They’re not too happy about the prospect of cleaning up properly on Monday, but that’s the plan, so they’re warned to get used to the idea.

About four hours after lights out, our eldest calls out for help and is suddenly and quite copiously sick. All over the aforementioned pile. His position in the top bunk helped considerably with the distance and coverage required for such a feat.

I don’t know if I’ve mentioned this before, but I’m your classic empathetic upchucker. All I have to do is see, smell, and/or hear someone doing it I’m vomiting along in full colour harmony. This means that I usually end up doing most of the cleaning, as it’s only by this late stage that I can detach myself enough to get on with the job.

Problem being, the missus was similarly struck down less than ten minutes after this spectacular hurling event.

It was not a pleasant evening/morning. It didn’t help that, while on the kitchen floor systematically cleaning a pile of sheets, clothes, toys and books, I felt the aggressive tummy grumbles signifying I was next – and soon.

I managed to get through most of the pile (including all of the 38 books, over a dozen of which were library books and therefore not quite as disposable as others) before succumbing to the inevitable at about 1am.

I managed to snatch some sleep here and there, but without the in-laws help with two of our sprogs, I don’t know how we could possibly have made the house liveable by this evening. We did, though. A sunny day went largely to waste, but it did help the enormous pile of washing along.

Time to collapse now. I may be late (again) tomorrow. Consider yourself warned.

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Date
20030422

Time
09:50
The Bush regime has a lot to learn about symbolism and timing. (How many flags did you count that were ‘hastily removed’?)

Trailer outlets of Pizza Hut and Burger King have been set up in Iraq to service troops.

“I would prefer we got decent showers and toilets sorted out first,” muttered one high-ranking officer.

Some food, water and medicine for the locals wouldn’t go astray, either.

The fun continues with plans to build a pipeline to siphon oil from newly conquered Iraq to Israel.

It’s hard to believe that anybody could be so arrogant, but there it is.

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Date
20030422

Time
09:56
‘The sugar industry in the US is threatening to bring the World Health Organisation to its knees by demanding that Congress end its funding unless the WHO scraps guidelines on healthy eating.’

10% is not enough, it seems. The sugar-sellers think that up to a quarter of our food could and should contain sugar, saying that:

“Taxpayers’ dollars should not be used to support misguided, non-science-based reports which do not add to the health and well-being of Americans, much less the rest of the world…”

Riiiight…

I’m pretty sure they can get the support of a few dental care lobbyists.

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Date
20030422

Time
10:03
Office workers will give away passwords for a cheap pen. A repeat of last year’s survey/experiment saw the overall number of cubicle monkeys willing to give away their primary password rise from 65% to 90%.

The most common password is still ‘password.’

Doesn’t surprise me at all.

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Date
20030422

Time
10:09
Soon to be a major survival-against-the-odds article in Reader’s Digest:

Officer rescues two swimmers from gator-infested lake. Lots of detail to this story, but I won’t ruin it for you. Go click.

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Date
20030422

Time
10:13
Reporter reports on sloppy reporting that has made him famous. Reportedly.

Seems he quoted a man by the name of Heywood Jablome.

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Date
20030422

Time
10:18
Under cover of war, Mugabe unleashes a new reign of terror.

Coalition actions in Iraq also lend new credence to his favourite claim, that Britain (and now the U.S.) are trying to ‘recolonise’ Zimbabwe.

Just one little symptom for you to ponder on. This is far from over, folks…

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Date
20030422
Headlines of Glory
Time
10:22
Charges Dropped In Scrotum Biting Case

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Date
20030422
Easter Roundup
Time
10:25
Staff at chocolate store have ‘a passionate philosophical debate’ over whether to put a chocolate Jesus on the shelf.

Store supervisor and ‘practicing Christian’ Liz Samuel was quoted as saying: “I just don’t think that you should eat anything that’s Jesus.”

Has she not heard of communion, then?

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Date
20030422

Time
10:32
Yes, I’m participating in TV Turnoff Week.

Yesterday was easy. Do you have any idea how many shows and ads contain food?

While we’re on the subject, subscribers to cable/satellite TV should consider the following:

You are paying for these channels, but you still have to put up with advertising – and not just the usual 30 second slots, but now increased calls for you to push the little red button before, after and during programmes.

Would you put up with this kind of behaviour from a website?

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Date
20030422

Time
10:41
Checking my email this morning I found 52 (52!) independent unsolictied emails touting the Iraqi ‘Most-Wanted’ Deck of Playing Cards. Fucking spammers.

Oh, I also found one ‘get well’ e-card. Somebody cares…

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Date
20030423

Time
09:15
Anti-war MP George Galloway was in Saddam’s pay says pro-war paper after journalist finds box of ‘secret’ documents. Left conveniently in an orange box with the word ‘Britain’ clearly written on it. In a room of other documents that had been deliberately burned beyond recognition. Pardon my cynicism.

George Galloway is planning legal action against the rag in question, but he’s sure to be given a burger with the works before he gets a chance. Meanwhile everybody is free to repeat the claims that are so damaging to the credibility of the anti-war movement. (Sounds to me like there’s another war coming. I’d better watch my back.)

Given that so many people still believe in the ‘truth’ of Jessica’s rescue and the ‘thousands’ of joyful Iraqis present at the statue toppling, I’m left wondering if, even if this is exposed as an outright lie, how many people will continue to believe in it.

UPDATE – Sorry, missed one from The Guardian: Documents prompt more questions than answers

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Date
20030423

Time
09:35
Interesting that Eminem has a body double:

Will the real Hussein plase stand up? (requires Flash)

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Date
20030423

Time
09:38
Student suspected of stealing 854 pairs of panties. Sounds like a loser to me. I mean honestly, where’s the prank value in that? Give me students who glue school doors shut any day.

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Date
20030423

Time
09:41
Only funny if you’re a Lego geek: Meet the 3-year-old Lego purist.

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Date
20030423
Does What It Says On The Tin
Time
09:44
www.toiletmuseum.com

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Date
20030423

Time
09:46
I’ve been wondering about this kind of thing myself lately… plenty of blogs die a welcome death, but what happens when a blogger dies and leaves an active blog behind?

Hmmm.

OK, so who wants to be named as Blog Successor in my Last Will and Testament?

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Date
20030423

Time
09:53
An excellent report on spam, where it comes from, and how to avoid it.

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Date
20030423

Time
09:56
A microbiologist has warned that the SARS virus ‘appears to be becoming more virulent, attacking the intestines as well as the respiratory system.’

My advice? Take shallow breaths.

Oh, and diseased or not, it still pays to avoid rampaging monkeys.

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Date
20030423
Free Music
Time
10:10
Nothing beats a little retrotech:

Floppyswop: ‘a place for sharing any files small enough to fit on a conventional floppy disc.’

Oh, the BBC is happy to play you a few free tracks, but you have to work for each one.

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Date
20030423
Headlines of Glory
Time
10:12
Overweight bears slim down after seizure in marijuana raid

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Date
20030423

Time
10:15
Children held at Camp Xray, US admits.

Held without trial, held without rights, held under a made-up term that conveniently bypasses international law and the Geneva Convention. Remind me again what constitutes an evil regime?

UPDATE – On reflection, you’re right. They deserve it. We’ve all seen the evidence, right? It was right there on the tee-vee. I remember watching the second plane smash into the WTC and thinking; “Tch! Typical! Bloody kids!!” Let’s just grab a few chainsaws and be done with it.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030424
Riding High on Blogdex
Time
09:02
Riding high? Bloody hell, it owns the zone, with positions 1-10 for a variety of references. Movable Type has launched a new user-friendly version hosted on their servers called Typepad.

Here’s the press release from the parent company, Sixapart and here’s the article in The Guardian that let me know about this before I even turned on my computer.

No dotcom goldrush pie-in-the-sky bullshit about it, either. It’s a good service offered for a small monthly fee.

Oh, there’s no word yet on the clearance procedures from the folks at senate.gov – but I’ll call and hassle them again later today.

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Date
20030424

Time
09:03
More anti-social bear behaviour: Bears Destroy Hotel Doors, Eat Floor

Yes, you read that correctly. They ate the floor.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030424

Time
09:06
The Onion continues its return to glory: New Fox Reality Show To Determine Ruler Of Iraq.

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Date
20030424

Time
09:09
The Safetype keyboard has to be seen to be believed (as the blurb goes) but it isn’t as revolutionary or as useful as you might think. It’s completely unsuitable for one-handed use, and therefore of no use to 80% of teenage web users.

Hmm, best make that 100%. Of all web users.

Oh, don’t look at me like that… I know what you people get up to.

What… me? No, never.

Seriously, never.

(Well, maybe occasionally. After all, there’s no telly this week.)

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030424
Yet Another Lame Quiz
Time
09:13
What Monty Python Character are you?

It’s not the first, and it won’t be the last. Quizzes are pretty old hat by now, but the MASH quiz still pulls over 3,000 new users a month after a year or more of service.

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Date
20030424

Time
09:20
His & Her Hummers launch to cheers and jeers. The perfect ultra-consumable to express the macho appeal of war and gratitude for all that extra oil. Optional extras for men include a mini-fridge, bald eagle art, stars and stripes floor mats and ‘Honk If You Love America’ stickers.

For the record, in most parts of Australia a ‘hummer’ is a blowjob.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030424

Time
09:26
Painting of deceased tiger scares live tigers at San Francisco Zoo. Pussies. Now this is scary.

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Date
20030424

Time
09:29
The non-existant time-travelling inside trader has skipped town. Police are questioning the Easter Bunny.

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Date
20030424

Time
09:40
US Customs officials confiscate large painting from journalist returning from Iraq.

”He didn’t think it was a big deal,” an official said of the journalist. ”He said all the embedded reporters were doing it.”

Wonderful, isn’t it?

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Date
20030424
Photoshopping
Time
15:05
I’m going to be off and out for most of tomorrow (meetings, meetings, meetings), but I do have this small amount of joy for you.

We finish off Page 11 of The Star Wars Photoshopping Project with the following:

“Luke, trust me – it’s best if you don’t know what’s coming…”

(Big’un is being shown off at B3ta.)

Enjoy your weekend. I shall try to post before Monday if anything exciting happens.

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Date
20030424

Time
16:58
Mark has written in with the following quotes, courtesy of the over-funded BBC:

Jack Straw says that finding weapons of mass distraction was not the justification for military action.

Geoff Hoon says: “We certainly will find weapons of mass destruction – that was the primary reason for invading Iraq and bringing down the regime.”

No, it’s not a case of crossed wires, it’s just that Geoff hasn’t received the latest memo on WMD back-pedalling, that’s all.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030426
OK, So I’m a Lego Geek
Time
00:11
A long day today/yesterday, but I’m still going to make time to head off to this Lego festival near Stoke-on-Trent. It’s an early start and a long drive, but I’m sure it’ll be worth it. If you’re in the neighbourhood and plan on attending, I’ll be the guy with bloodshot eyes wearing one of these.

BTW, Tom Watson’s site appears to be down after a massive hammering this afternoon. We’ll need to move the site to a beefier and more reliable server sometime next week by the looks of things.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030428

Time
09:05
1 Pixel Per Metre is quite a simple idea, elegantly done. It’s more or less a straightforward comparison of scale along the top rows (Eiffel Tower, Empire State Building, King Kong, Stay Puft Marshmallow Man, etc.), but scroll down for extended geekiness.

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Date
20030428

Time
09:08
Here’s your chance to play dress-up with a Catholic high school girl.

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Date
20030428
It’s War! And Somebody’s Going To Pay!
Time
09:29
Praise be to The Memory Hole.

First of all, because I can’t remember if I’ve blogged it or not, let’s take a look at the shoddy Photoshopping job done by the Evening Standard, meant to convince us that there really was a happy crowd of thousands at the toppling of Saddam’s statue.

Today they have images of US forces making captive Iraqi men walk naked through a park in direct violation of the Geneva Convention. Apparently the men are thieves and the technique will be used again to help discourage looting, but MH quite rightly asks if this technique will be used on US troops in Iraq that helped themselves to $13.1m in cash.

Tch! The troops should be aware that they are there to do a job, and all looting by the US has to go through appropriate channels.

From The Independent on Sunday: Intelligence agencies accuse Bush and Blair of distorting and fabricating evidence in rush to war.

A different angle on more or less the same story from ABC news: the real reason for the war was ‘a global show of American power and democracy’ after the butt-kicking that was 911.

“We were not lying,” said one official. “But it was just a matter of emphasis.”

Tell it to the judge, pal.

Finally, just as more and more people are asking Where are the WMDs? (they were the main justification for war, if you remember – before it suddenly turned to regime change to try and embarrass us bleeding-heat liberals into backing this shitfight) the Telegraph comes to the rescue with ‘proof’ that Saddam worked with bin Laden. The source of this ‘proof’ is yet another remarkably unscathed box of documents helpfully left out for curious journalists.

The truth will out – but not before Bush and his buddies have made off with most of Iraq’s wealth.

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Date
20030428

Time
09:30
Please note that if you’re a regular reader of the Times, Telegraph or Sun newspapers, then you have no need of this website.

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Date
20030428

Time
09:35
Boston Marathon runners like to urinate on lawns. The residents along the route are less than happy about it.

They should do what the posh property owners along the route of the Sydney City To Surf do; invite some friends around for a lawn party to gawk at the antics of the unwashed masses, and keep at least one garden hose primed and ready for emergencies.

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Date
20030428

Time
09:41
Enjoy 12 dumb comic book covers.

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Date
20030428

Time
09:43
Baltimore residents go nuts as Travolta hits town. One witness claimed to have seen a woman get her name signed by the star and head straight for the nearest tattoo parlour to have it made permanent.

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Date
20030428

Time
09:46
Beer bottle top promotion goes tits-up and sparks near-riot in Nairobi. Everybody is a winner, it seems.

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Date
20030428
Headlines of Glory
Time
09:47
Pet elephant kills politician

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Date
20030428

Time
09:50
This should keep – and your cursor – busy for about 30 seconds.

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Date
20030428
OK, So I’m a Lego Geek
Time
09:54
The Brickish Association Annual LEGO Festival and General Meeting on Saturday was well worth driving 182 miles for.

I turned up out of the blue after hearing about the event on Friday afternoon, and signed up to be a brickie pretty much as soon as I walked through the door.

I met a lot of like-minded (yet surprisingly normal) individuals, and saw a number of very, very impressive models.

My eldest son came along for the ride and was equally impressed. A quirky floorbot had his attention for most of the afternoon, and the chap who built it was kind enough to send me links to a number of resource pages – 1, 2, 3 – so we can (maybe) have a crack at building one for ourselves. Thanks Phil.

The one model that really caught my eye was Rhys Knight’s Colonial Viper (from the ever-crappy made-for-TV extravaganza that was Battlestar Galactica).

I took this picture, but there are many more for you to drool over here.

Now I’ve built some Lego in the past, but meeting with these guys has really inspired me to lift my game.

I’ll try not to bore you folks with it too much, but I will be spending a lot of time on the sitting room floor over the next month or so.

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Date
20030428

Time
11:09
From the soon-to-be-defunct Innovations catalogue comes this breakthrough in breast examination.

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Date
20030428

Time
13:35
I broke the television boycott a day early to watch this documentary on dodgy drug testing and shameless price-fixing last night. (Here’s the best collection of linkage for those who missed it.) During our 3-hour drive up north on Saturday, my 7-year-old son asked me – out of the blue, mind you – for examples of ‘evil’ corporations. I didn’t mention Pfizer then, but I certainly will next time.

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Date
20030429
It’s War! And Somebody’s Going To Pay!
Time
09:14
Admiral Sir Michael Boyce, this government’s most senior military adviser, has warned that UK forces will need at least 18 months to ‘draw breath’ before another major war. Now why do you think he feels such a warning is necessary?

In other news, Iraqi civilians are preparing a complaint accusing allied commander Gen. Tommy Franks and other U.S. military officials of war crimes in Iraq.

Also, Jordan (the Arab nation, not the busty b-celebrity) again has warned the US against supporting Iraqi opposition figure Ahmad Chalabi (promoted by some in Washington as a possible political leader) saying he lacks credibility and support among Iraqis and is a convicted fraud.

Finally, here’s a very long Fark thread about yesterday’s ‘proof’ of links between Saddam and Al Qaeda. Yes, there’s a link. They hate each other’s guts.

Still plenty to be angry about, people – and the war ain’t over yet.

Take note and take action.

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Date
20030429

Time
09:18
The Ultimate Insult has had another makeover. By sheer coincidence, Scott has chosen the very same layout that Tom was considering before we stumbled across this excellent design.

BTW, another MP steps up to the bat soon – so I’m going to need another designer that knows their way around MT. (I want to hire locally on this one, as there’s going to be a fair amount of back and forth.)

Emails to the usual address.

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Date
20030429

Time
09:24
Batmobile sells for $170,000.

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Date
20030429

Time
09:27
Reflections on the 25th Anniversary of Spam. According to the author, the first spam was sent May 3, 1978 – 25 years ago this Saturday.

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Date
20030429

Time
09:31
Whitey has just emailed me regarding yesterday’s post about scumbag pharmaceutical giants. He’s sent me this article about a massive vitamin and nutritional supplement recall in Australia. An audit of Pan Pharmaceuticals found that they were ‘risking lives by releasing products despite failing to test raw ingredients, or fudging the results of tests.’

The audit began after one of Pan’s products, Travelcalm, was recalled in January. A faulty batch of the product, designed to relieve travel sickness, made many people sick and reportedly had a hallucinatory effect on others. The result? Crazed people trying to jump of planes, boats, you name it.

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Date
20030429
Headlines of Glory
Time
09:41
Porno overload leaves Japanese jerkers drained dry and Deputies skeptical about family’s tale that cat shot teen.

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Date
20030429

Time
09:43
I’m sure if you watched the news last night you would have seen the footage of the brave ‘teen’ who repeatedly ran into a burning building to save a bunch of youngsters. He’s not a teen. He’s 22. Some fucknuckle in authority saw the footage too, and recognised him as the subject of an outstanding warrant. He was gaoled on Monday for violating probation.

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Date
20030429

Time
09:55
Two on the subject of novels and blogs: a report on tip-jar revenue from a ‘free’ novel and the writer who has stopped blogging so he can get on with his novel. Now there’s an idea.

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Date
20030429

Time
09:58
Madonna has released a number of ‘dummy’ files onto KaZaA in an attempt to curb free swapping of songs from her ‘American Life’ album. The files look like full-length files, but when you download them you only get a snippet of track followed by a recording of Madonna saying ‘What the fuck do you think you’re doing?’.

The inevitable result is The Madonna Remix Project, where you can download sampled dance remixes of this immortal phrase.

It’s times like this I really miss being a DJ.

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Date
20030429

Time
10:18
I still get a kick out of crossing the language barrier. It’s the whole viral/blog Raging Cow thing this time. Link’s at the bottom of the page. Babelfish awaits if you wish to read the article in Franglais.

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Date
20030429

Time
10:51
All Londoners and intelligent beings are advised to watch this space.

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Date
20030429
Riding High on Blogdex
Time
14:32
*sigh*

Well, I suppose if I must. The Apple ads and the Itunes music store pretty much own the zone today, so they deserve at least a passing mention. The next big hit is sure to be the Bush Regime Playing Cards, brought to you by uggabugga, busybusybusy, and the Department of Inevitability.

Now I’m waiting for 152 spams trying to sell me this new must-have new deck…

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Date
20030429

Time
17:06
I need a large number of empty shoeboxes for an off-the-cuff installation piece. If anybody can help, please do drop me a line.

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Date
20030429

Time
17:33
I found an excellent blow-by-blow account and article describing how weblogs can engage that wonderful effect so eloquently described in Malcolm Gladwell’s Tipping Point. It closes with something that most people miss – you not only reach a wide weblog audience in this way, you also reach a much wider audience via Google, due to the pronounced effect our conversations have on rank.

The sad thing is, most folks in marketing will read this and still miss the point.

(Link found via Countersink, which is sure to have my attention over the coming weeks. It’s a new blog, so not all navigation can be trusted at this early stage. Watch your step.)

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Date
20030429

Time
21:58
Bloggage may be late tomorrow, as we have at least one feverish kid – and I’m planning on bringing together some resources for May Day.

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Date
20030430
May Day 2003
Time
11:04

Why Will I Be Marching On May Day?

I’ll be marching because I have been born into a privileged life, with a great amount of talent, and until recently have pissed this up against the wall helping others to sell tat.

The anti-globalisation movement is largely misrepresented in the media (I’m sure you can guess why), so what little hope there is lies in grass roots action and communication.

Tomorrow, I will be using my skills to help spread an important message or two to the public at large. It’s time to get my hands dirty.

What Action Will I Be Taking On May Day?

Incriminating ‘Evidence’

In reaction to several very timely and convenient discoveries by the Daily Telegraph (and this quite excellent story), I will be planting the following forged document in shoeboxes across the city, including the Canary Wharf district.

You can click here to download a copy of this letter for distribution in your area if you think this is a fun idea.

Masks

I have no intention of getting involved with so-called extremists, but I have noticed that the police often try to intimidate crowds by deliberately and visibly videotaping and photographing faces. These are then supplied to tabloids and broadsheets for trial by media. This year, we all have a fantastic reason to wear a mask – the threat of exposure to SARS – so I will be distributing paper surgical masks to anybody who wants one.

You can walk down to your local pharmacy and buy a box of these yourself if you wish to help stop disease/intimidation.

Out Of Order Signs

Signage as used at the 2nd London Peace March will be distributed in prime locations to recruit yet more armchair activists. I will also be distributing a large number of Out Of Order stickers to anybody who wishes to contribute to the project.

You can read more about The Out Of Order Project by clicking here if you want to bring your small corner of the world to a grinding halt.

Why Should You Get Involved On May Day?

I’ve really got about a hundred reasons myself, but here’s 15 to get you started.

You can read more, and find out what action is being taken in your neck of the woods, by clicking here.

(Don’t be scared off by the paranoid and extreme chappies. You have to keep in mind that they do this kind of thing a lot more than you and I, and are feeling pretty jaded by experiences such as this.)

Come along, be counted, stay cool, and bring plenty of drinking water.

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Date
20030430
It’s SARS! And We’re All Going To Die!
Time
14:40
You want to hear something really scary? Every single pharmacy in my area has sold out of surgical face-masks and can’t get any more from the manufacturers.

Remember Foot & Mouth? The reason we didn’t (finally) vaccinate was because there wasn’t enough vaccine to do even one-tenth of the animals at risk.

These are the same people that are telling us that they have the SARS situation in hand…

Anyways, I finally hit paydirt with General Medical in Aldershot and picked up 200 or so masks in all. (No, I haven’t robbed the population of vital protection – I chose the rattiest, most useless masks available.)

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Date
20030430

Time
16:09
Read a copy of the May Day email sent from police to central London businesses. Why, I wonder, do they advise folks to watch SKY news and not the BBC?

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Date
20030430

Time
17:30
May Day protesters will face ‘penning in’ tactics.

What? Again? They barely got away with it last time (even with the skewed coverage, this year to be supplied by SKY News).

During the penning-in of May 2001, all publicly accessible traffic cams in and around the area were conveniently out of order. I managed to find two private ones facing the square and watched the whole sorry state of affairs. The patience of those hemmed in by the police amazed me. Another reason I’ve gone from heckling these people to joining them.

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Date
20030430

Time
17:49
Most of the shoeboxes are done. You may note that they are all slightly different in size, so they more or less fit inside each other to make two manageable and easy-to-carry collections.

About 1500 Out Of Order stickers have also been printed up, ready to go.

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Date
20030430

Time
23:33
OK, I’m geared up and ready to roll. Time for bed.

Obviously there will be no bloggage tomorrow, but you can keep up with the news via this simple search at Google News and get an activist’s perspective on media coverage by monitoring this thread over at Urban75.

Preaching will stop and fun will continue on Friday. Assuming, of course, that I don’t get arrested.

(Don’t worry. My parents read this blog. I just threw that in to freak them out…)








Posted in Uncategorized | Comments Off

01-15 April, 2003

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Date
20030401

Time
08:48
Ho ho ho. It is the French Army Knife. I can tell you’re amused. Here’s a Sith Army Knife to make up for it.

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Date
20030401
It’s War! And Everybody’s Got Busy Hands!
Time
08:51
Gang, you’ve be told about this before – don’t send any more porn to the troops. Please.

If you have to send something, send an email from a Playmate.

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Date
20030401
Can Weblogs…?
Time
08:56
“How does the second superpower take action? Not from the top, but from the bottom.”

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Date
20030401

Time
08:58
Bikini waxes will soon be legal throughout North Dakota.

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Date
20030401

Time
09:01
GP attempts to cure knucklehead with frying pan.

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Date
20030401

Time
09:02
A French company, Sodexho Alliance, currently feeds U.S. Marines. Congressman Jack Kingston wants the Bush administration to cancel the $881 million supply contract and I have a sneaky feeling he may just get his way.

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Date
20030401

Time
09:08
Life goes on with half a beard.

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Date
20030401

Time
09:09
Twins kept older brother locked in attic for 40 years. Something wrong there. How can they both be the evil one?

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Date
20030401

Time
09:12
Sacked NBC reporter Peter Arnett has been hired by the Daily Mirror. Here’s hoping his life improves sometime soon.

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Date
20030401

Time
09:15
A Warmonger explains war to a Peacenik.

My eldest son asked me this morning why Saddam started the war. Now that took some explaining…

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Date
20030401

Time
09:19
Is this war a mismanaged, misjudged shit-fight? Well, a scapegoat is already being lined up. What do you think?

BTW, here’s some of the stuff that happens when all eyes are on a war and here’s what’s coming next – if we’re lucky.

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Date
20030401
Civil Disobedience
Time
12:11
An early report on The ‘Out Of Order’ Project is now available. If I’ve quoted you and you don’t mind a credit link, please do let me know.

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Date
20030401
Photoshopping
Time
15:06
Bloody hell.

Now I’m going to have to build an 11th page for The Star Wars Photoshopping Project.

I need a holiday and lots of bedrest.

(Note – a bigger version of this is being paraded over at B3ta.)

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Date
20030401

Time
16:07
From today, British citizenship can be revoked from immigrants who ‘seriously prejudice’ the UK’s interests.

A good thing I’m working so hard to keep this country on the straight and narrow then, isn’t it?

Hm.

Does this mean that Mohamed al-Fayed jumped before he was pushed?

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Date
20030402

Time
08:42
‘You just killed a family because you didn’t fire a warning shot,’ screams the officer who gave the order to fire on a vehicle full of Iraqi civilians. Lesson to be learned? It’s always easier to kick shit downhill.

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Date
20030402

Time
08:44
Help Madeleine Bunting write her new book. Nah, fuck that. Help me to write my book. All I need is about 3 months of relative peace and quiet. Right now I don’t even have the time or energy to scratch my bum.

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Date
20030402

Time
08:47
Object of game: Get out of prison alive.

Execution: lame.

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Date
20030402

Time
08:49
Saturday July 12 is the 23rd Annual Mooning of Amtrak. Mark your calendars.

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Date
20030402

Time
08:51
No, I didn’t mess with your heads yesterday. I wasn’t in the mood. Neither were a lot of other people this year. Funny that.

Still we had the ‘hilarious’ free Eminem concert gag and an equally inspired virus hoax that caused panic food buying and a stock market slump. Nothing like a good laugh, is there?

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Date
20030402

Time
08:54
The results are in for the 2003 Antibloggies.

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Date
20030402

Time
08:56
After a brave start, Madonna wimps out.

Remember folks, you are not allowed to criticise the war in Iraq. Howl with the wolves you must.

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Date
20030402

Time
09:00
Bill Gates issues $60-million research grant to fund search for the invisible condom.

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Date
20030402

Time
09:04
Detectives have arrested two Lawndale High students who allegedly planned to celebrate the anniversary of the Columbine massacre with some homemade explosives.

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Date
20030402

Time
09:06
Journalists discuss the firing of Peter Arnett. You can read his first article for those opportunistic scumbags over at The Mirror here. Be begins by saying; ‘I am still in shock and awe at being fired.’

The man is obviously a genius. Actually, he’s an idiot. Sure, his heart was in the right place but he should have known that his words would be used as ammunition.

More idiocy: The plan to target MPs who voted in favour of the war. Tom has followed this up with

some details and a disturbingly correct judgement on my view. Doing the wrong thing in the name of righteousness? That’s what we’re protesting against, isn’t it?

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Date
20030402

Time
09:24
Boy weds 42-year-old. What better way to celebrate your 14th birthday?

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Date
20030402

Time
09:26
We all learned about World War I in school, right? Lots of contributing factors, but the defining moment came when the 7th assassin finally managed to do Franz Ferdinand in.

20 years from now, I swear there’ll be a chapter on Freedom Fries to study and regurgitate at will. It’ll come right after the chapter covering dangerous regimes and rigged elections.

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Date
20030402

Time
09:31
We don’t understand Iraqis, admits US officer.

“I just don’t know why they’re shooting at us. All we want to do is bring them democracy and white bread. Transplant the American dream. Freedom. Achievement. Hyperacidity. Affluence. Flatulence. Technology. Tension. The inalienable right to an early coronary sitting at your desk while plotting to stab your boss in the back.”

Hawkeye Pierce (M*A*S*H, Episode B306 – ‘O.R.’)

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Date
20030402
Civil Disobedience
Time
09:36
I’ll do full credits on the first ‘Out Of Order’ report as soon as I get a few more yays and nays in.

(Did I quote you? Get in touch and let me know if you want to be credited or anonymous.)

In the meantime, you need to know that the best action report by far (the one with the ‘out of order’ stationary cupboard) comes to you from princess erin the mighty.

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Date
20030402
The Political Weblog Movement
Time
11:45
This just in: Former senator Gary Hart started a weblog about 6 days ago.

So, it looks like I won’t be able to claim the first. I’ll just have to settle for best, then.

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Date
20030402
Photoshopping
Time
13:54
Page 11 of The Star Wars Photoshopping Project is starting to fill out nicely with the help of The Professionals.

Again, there’s a large version of this posted over at B3ta.

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Date
20030402
The Political Weblog Movement
Time
18:38
OK, here’s the deal with senatorial weblogging: Once you’re a senator, your web presence must be hosted at senate.gov and abide by certain rules. First hurdle is to get Movable Type approved by the Sergeant At Arms for use on these servers. I’m on the case.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030403

Time
08:41
I think perhaps someone should point out to the U.S. Army that ‘General’ is a French word. Alternative names for a General, then?

Liberty Leader?

Director of Justice?

Sorry, no ‘liberty’ and ‘justice’ for you. Both words are of French origin.

How about something cool like Ultra Marine?

Considering how many Iraqis have actually surrendered so far, how about Optimist Prime?

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030403

Time
08:42
15-year-old hires escort from his hospital bed and teen voyeur gets trapped behind shower wall. Both stories have wonderful details and developments that I won’t spoil for you here.

This and more chewy goodness (including the man who left polaroids of his privates under the windscreen wipers of ladies cars) available today via Romenkso’s ObscureStore.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030403

Time
08:49
Iraq knocked off Interwebnet. No use emailing support, boyo.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030403

Time
08:53
“We do view Google more and more as a competitor. We believe that we can provide consumers with a better product and a better user experience. That’s something that we’re actively looking at doing,” says Bob Visse, a marketing director for Microsoft. Pardon me while I giggle foolishly.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030403

Time
08:54
The Beginner’s Guide to Self-Immortalization (not to be confused with self-immolation).

(Link via The Ultimate Insult.)

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030403

Time
08:58
Nick Nolte goes clean, comes clean.

Insert detergent gag.

Run quote:

“Every once in a while, you lose it. You saw my pictures. There’s no hiding there.”

Pictures? What pictures?

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030403

Time
09:03
Dead journalists campaign for freedom of the press. And more spicy brains.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030403

Time
09:04
Attention Super Man and Super Squid – Tokyo is that way – –>

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030403

Time
09:07
Conspiracy theorists will love this one: anti-war anthem champ Edwin Starr is dead.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030403

Time
09:09
Don’t like America? Then Leave.

Oh dear. Y’see, the problem is that most of your resident peacemongers love America and what it’s supposed to aspire to. Sadly, almost every lofty ideal has been corrupted or neglected under the current regime.

Still, if you feel you must export enlightened souls to other countries, you just go right ahead.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030403

Time
09:57
From Rainbow Heron we find ProtestWarrior.com

I may not agree with what they’re doing, but I love the way they’re doing it.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030403
Fursday Feedback
Time
09:59
Last night I had a dream that I needed more sleep. I think that’s pretty much all I needed to push me over the edge.

One of the biggest problems in my life is not having enough time and it never being a good time. I’m slowly learning to deal with that, so next week – good time or not – I’ll be taking a short bloggage holiday.

I plan to spend this time wisely by sitting in the garden and/or digging a small hole to retreat into while I have quiet think and maybe do a little writing just for me.

Bloggerheads gets about 100 new visitors a day, so I need some static content for this week to cover my sluggish butt.

All I need really is 2 or 3 letters from regulars explaining what Bloggerheads is usually like when I’m not offline and huddled in a corner, trying to get into myself.

If you have a site of your own, then please include a URL with your letter. This gives visitors somewhere to go once they’ve found out there ain’t much going on here.

Emails to the usual address. Get ‘em in today. I’ll be publishing tomorrow.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030403

Time
11:10
The Independent: Military briefings are chock full of lies. One man’s chemical weapons factory is another man’s all-night petrol garage. No doubt it was the evil packaged sandwiches that fooled them. Or maybe the longlife pastries.

(Found via the folks at Supervillainwatch, who are kindly supporting The ‘Out Of Order’ Project.)

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030404

Time
08:57
Wow, it’s all peace, love and football just like the good old-fashioned wars of the past. I watched the footage of this on TV, but couldn’t spot Sylvester Stallone anywhere. No wonder the Iraqis won; our side didn’t have their regular goalkeeper.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030404

Time
09:01
‘Girls Gone Wild’ Producers Arrested On Racketeering Charges. They’ve been telling girls to lie about their age, the naughty scamps. Incidentally, the $100 some lucky girls get paid to strip naked in a cheap motel room is enough to buy maybe 5 copies of the video they appear in. They don’t even have to be naked for that to be described as exploitation.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030404

Time
09:06
Burt Ward ordered to clean up dog mess. Only the best celebrity gossip here, folks.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030404
Christianity Watch
Time
09:07
’Poised behind the troops, waiting for a signal that Iraq is safe enough for them to operate in, are the evangelical Christians – carrying food in one hand and the Bible in the other.’

That’s Billy Graham’s little boy on the march there. He’s the chap who describes the Muslim faith as a ‘wicked, violent’ religion. He also delivered the invocation at Dubya’s inauguration, which is probably why he’s been awarded the conversion contract.

“Here ya go, fella – some nice cool water. Gosh darn, I spilled some. No matter. Let’s just start by getting that towel off your head and…”

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030404

Time
09:09
Teacher gets 5 years for three bank robberies. He still doesn’t know why he did it, but suspects it has something to do with a faulty moral compass. Government issue, no doubt.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030404

Time
09:11
Explore happiness and love at Leisuretown.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030404

Time
09:12
Murder suspect captured because he couldn’t kick karaoke. It’s a filthy habit. Serves him right.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030404

Time
09:15
Murdoch: US must ditch ‘inferiority complex’

WTF?

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030404

Time
09:16
Meet Headnoise, the Christian rock band that refuses to endorse ‘the dogma of Punk.’

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030404
Civil Disobedience
Time
09:18
A report from one of our more ingenious ‘Out Of Order’ operatives:

My coup de grace this weekend was watching swarms of confused tourists reading the sign I left on a car park ticket machine ‘Out of Order – use machine in car park opposite’. They’d dutifully traipse over the road to read a sign reading ‘Out of Order – use machine in car park opposite.’

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030404
Dead Blog Holiday
Time
09:25
Yep, I’m around for most of the day. Got a few loose ends to tie up and a lot of fun to watch with Tom’s Teens! page. I’m sure I don’t need to explain it to you.

Anyway, I’ve two very nice letters that I’ll be popping up when the guns go quiet later this afternoon. That’s going to have to tide you over for about a week, so take your time reading them, OK?

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030404

Time
10:10
I’m going to be a complete bastard now and slip a song into your head that will stick with you for most of the day.

Sing this to tune of Auld Lang Syne:

We’re Here Because We’re Here

Because We’re Here Because We’re Here

We’re Here Because We’re Here

Because We’re Here Because We’re Here

Terrible, isn’t it? It caused untold misery in the trenches during World War I. Perhaps ‘our boys’ should start a revival in Iraq. It certainly seems enough of an explanation/justification for some.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030404

Time
15:40
Emails pouring into Bagdad. That’s Bagdad in Tasmania, folks.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030404

Time
15:42
Look, it’s nothing sinister… we’re just your betters is all.



A surprisingly blinkered and over-the-top article for The Register. You may want to soothe yourself with the related Metafilter thread afterwards.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030404
Dead Blog Holiday
Time
16:26
I’m taking a little blogging holiday for about a week and didn’t want to leave an empty shell behind, so here are a couple of letters from regular readers to let you know what you should normally expect from Bloggerheads – and how you might care to spend your time while I’m sitting in the comfy chair with a box of chocolates, watching my stories.

Hope to see you when I get out of getting into myself.

Cheers all.

Manic

Bloggerheads is overflowing with anarchic juices. It’s comedy with a dark, dark heart and the occasional self-deprecating lighter moment. I know it could cost a politician his job to be anywhere near such seditious writing but it’s strangely addictive. If you’re new to the site then bad luck, Tim is in the garden for the week. My advice is to begin at the beginning and take two or three months a day. You should be up to speed by the time he’s back.

Tom

www.tom-watson.co.uk

So, you’ve arrived here at Bloggerheads and you’re wondering; “What the hell? What is it? Why have I been brought here? And where’s the pr0n?”

Sadly, I can’t help you with the last question (well I can, but I’ll come to that later), but as a dedicated follower of Bloggerheads I can perhaps help you a little bit with what goes on here whilst Manic takes a holiday from saving the world from tedium.

Bloggerheads has become, at least for me, a shrine to online deviousness. Manic picks out, day after day, week after week, the choicest and freshest cuts of the web’s sublime and subverted nature.

You want an alternative view on what’s going on in the world of weblogs? This is the place where no punches are pulled and where intellectual wankery is used as a punch bag.

Feel as if you’re drowning in political bureaucracy and bullshit? This is the hall where the dishonest and disgraceful get their come-uppance.

Have a chair and peruse with us the wonders of the World Famous Star Wars Photoshopping Project. See what happens when politicians don’t keep their promises and wonder at the power of the interwebnet at discovering long lost bizarre mustard men!

Manic’s gone for a short holiday to recharge, so take this opportunity to steal all the beer from his fridge and get lost in the annals of scandal. It’s educational, emotive, entertaining and ridiculous, and it’s all wrapped up into one discrete weblog for the bargain price of nada.

Oh, you were only here for the pr0n? Well, I did promise didn’t I? Luckily for you I’m a man of my word, so enjoy.

Wild

www.funjunkie.co.uk

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Date
20030414

Time
16:25
Like I said, it’s never a good time. Tom’s ‘Teens’ page seems to have rocketed around the Interwebnet in my absence. (Is it just me, or are the majority of people who don’t get it well over the age of 30?)

Here’s a new article about Tom’s site, BTW. That’s a pretty solid name-check there. I’m not used to those.

I have another MP’s site to build and will crack on with that tomorrow, along with some serious groundwork for the whole senatorial blogging thing.

Yes, I quite enjoyed my quiet think – and even managed to get out of the house now and again (see image).

Right now I have to wade through 596 emails and see what’s waiting for me.

Back on deck at the usual pace tomorrow, folks. Please forgive me if I post anything that’s last Tuesday.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030414

Time
16:28
Yay! Scott got a job! Sadly, I had nothing to do with it (pause) or did I…?

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030414
The Political Weblog Movement
Time
18:31
Wow, that’s spooky. Check out this Raging Cow article by Rob Walker that just went live at Slate/MSN. I just now spoke on the phone with a chap who goes by the same name in relation to the following:

Re: the possibility of the first senatorial weblog

I’m in touch with the office of the Sergeant at Arms (new bloke in charge is Bill Pickle) about the clearance of Movable Type for use at senate.gov and am awaiting procedural guidelines by email.

I had one nagging worry about all of this: that material published at senate.gov would be subject to clearance. Happily, this isn’t the case. The guidelines/rules for publishing at senate.gov are not available to members of the public, but what I did find out was that what is published at senate.gov must be in keeping with the rules and ethics of the Senate. If not, it will be subject to review by the Senate Ethics Committee and the Senate Rules Committee.

Because the frequency allowed by the weblog format is likely to complicate matters in this area, a proposal may need to go past these committees. I’ve been in touch with the relevant offices, and will probably be faxing something once I get the whole MT clearance thing rolling.

Given that I am a foreign devil with limited understanding of the inner workings of the U.S. Senate, I’ve also been in touch with the office of Gary Hart to see if they want to get involved.

Depending on my workload tomorrow, I’ll probably be going live with this project on a step-by-step basis under the heading:

Can Weblogs Go To Washington?

It’s good to be back.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030415

Time
09:39
I know you all know about welovetheiraqiinformationminister.com – hell, I even met a guy in a small rural pub with no web access that knew all about it. This same guy, mind you, was of the opinion that Iran and Syria should be next. No link between Iraq and terrorism? Rubbish! The whole Arab state is in on this thing! The main weapon of the ay-rab is the dagger. It’s for stabbing people in the back.

Etc. etc. etc.

I actually spent 2.5 seconds wondering if I should get involved in this argument, until someone helpfully pointed out that there was no point talking to me, as my mind had been poisoned by the novel I had been quietly reading in the corner.

I pointed out that the title of the book wasn’t ‘Al Qaeda on The Western Front,’ and left them to it.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030415

Time
09:41
Boss teases employee about being serial killer. Employee turns out to be actual serial killer.

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Date
20030415
Photoshopping
Time
09:43
Fark theme: What is President Bush really stepping over?

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030415

Time
09:44
Man arrested for masturbating at library computer. He was downloading porn in the children’s department. No children were there to witness the event, but a security camera and a library guard were on hand. So to speak.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030415

Time
09:48
U.S. Marines ‘liberate’ a donkey, which promptly escapes to help spread their message of peace, love and occupation.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030415

Time
09:51
Saddam’s son had pictures of the Bush twins on his wall.

Please, please, let it be these.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030415

Time
10:06
Farmers Put Live Chickens in Wood Chippers.

I’m thinking feathers a-flying, I’m thinking comical noises, I’m thinking Chicken McNuggets.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030415

Time
10:09
Remember when Saddam’s statue came toppling down? How many jubilant locals do you think were actually there at the time? Hundreds? Thousands?

Try about a dozen.

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Date
20030415

Time
10:17
Isn’t it funny how one pointed question can reveal the truth in many unexpected ways? This is today’s must-read, folks. Enjoy.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030415
The Raging Cow Boycott
Time
10:26
The Slate article has resulted in a fresh surge of support for The Raging Cow Boycott. Suddenly we’re back in the Top 5 for ‘raging cow’ searches in Google.

The most interesting support link yesterday came from Christina, whose recent thesis on the subject of blogs just passed with distinction. She’s due to get her Masters’ in Interwebnet policy/marketing/culture this May. And she thinks I’m right.

Almost makes it worth getting dressed this morning. Almost.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030415
The Political Weblog Movement
Time
10:37
It looks like I may just have support from the right quarter. More later. Work awaits.

Here’s yesterday’s post on the subject for those who missed me creeping back onto my beige monster.

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Date
20030415

Time
12:34
Welcome to The United States of Whatever.

Great song, very cool show to go with it.

(Link via Headwindow, which is a shoe-in for the next update of the ‘follow me’ navigation selection.)

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030415

Time
12:54
Oh dear. That’s a little worrying. And somewhat depressing.

UPDATE – It’s not an official site. William Hague hasn’t really published anything beyond this. I’m hoping that situation will change soon.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030415
Why Politicians Need Weblogs
Time
22:55

I needed some all-purpose text to help folks along on the political weblog front. I’ll be posting this as a static article later tomorrow.

You have enough crap to read through, so I’ll make this brief.

Put simply, a weblog is an online diary. There are a number of different formats, and a wide variety of people that use them. Instead of publishing more or less static content that explains who you are and what you care about, a weblog format allows you to express yourself a sentence at a time. You tell people what’s happening, as it happens. If there’s further reading on the subject, you link to it. This can happen on a weekly, daily or hourly basis.

Running a weblog is so straightforward that many people who appreciate their value as a resource find it very easy to start one (or adopt the format for use on their existing site). This leads us to the issue of interaction.

A lot of the people that you reach via a weblog will post comments on a weblog of their own and link to you in the process. Some weblogs have an audience counting in the dozens, others into the hundred or thousands. Portals that watch or monitor such link activity have audiences reaching more towards hundreds of thousands. Good stuff – important stuff – reaches many, many people almost immediately in this way.

This publishing frequency (presented in the correct format) has a very positive effect not only on people, but also on the search engines that are using them increasingly to decide what is the most important, relevant and fresh result for any given search query.

A valid weblog will have a pronounced effect on the two top search databases on the planet – Google and Yahoo. People seeking information relating to issues you think to be important will invariably find your site among the top results.

End result?

You show the people who vote for you how hard you’re working, and attract the majority of those interested in issues you care about. You may even learn an important thing or two from us in the process.

It’s wonderfully organic, and it works. And you need it.

Early adopters who do it – and do it right – stand to benefit the most.

Get on with it. The next election is closer than you think.

Examples of weblogs by politicians:

Labour MP Tom Watson (UK)

Former senator Gary Hart (US)

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030415

Time
23:23
“Ask the White House” — a live online interactive forum where you can communicate with White House and administration officials.

Next Guest: White House Chief of Staff Andrew Card

Time: 7pm – 7:30pm (ET)

Date: Wednesday, April 16

You can submit questions to “Ask the White House” one hour before the online discussion begins.

I may have a question or two. I’ll be nice. Ever so nice.

Thanks to Tom for the link – and the subtle hint.

UPDATE – It might be nice if a few people asked about senatorial weblogging. Show some interest, folks. Raise awareness. Make it happen.








Posted in Uncategorized | Comments Off

London Peace March

It should be noted from the outset that, apart from the Mass Lobby of Parliament on the 24th of January and the Million-Strong March on the 15th of February, I haven’t really marched for anything since I was about 14 years old.

But, while I may not be a professional activist or one of the ‘usual suspects,’ I’d like to think that I made a valid contribution to the march beyond adding one more head to the count.

 

London Peace March

Things started out looking very bleak indeed. At the million-strong march, this road was packed with people all the way back to the bridge by 11:00am. This photo of the same road at the most recent march was taken at 11:30am. I also noted with sadness that The Mirror had failed to supply placards for this event. These were the placards that most people vandalised in an effort to remove the untoward branding, and great numbers of them had been altered beyond repair very early in the day on the previous march. I’d come armed with duct tape, some spray-adhesive, a beefy staple gun, and hundreds on non-branded messages on A3 paper to rejuvenate such placards, but I didn’t see it as my right to remodel the placards of movements such as the CND, the Communist Party and what not en masse (these were lying around ready for use in great numbers). While I may not agree with everything these groups stand for, what they stand for cannot not be dismissed as easily and readily as the philosophy of ‘sell more newspapers.’ At least, not by little old me.

London Peace March

So, to kill time, I started out by placing a few signs (outlining a certain plan for civil disobedience) in high traffic areas that led to the assembly area. You can read the full text that appeared on these signs by clicking here.

London Peace March

Pretty much everything at the assembly point was covered, from phoneboxes and road signs through to the mirrors in the toilets and even the wobbly bridge.

London Peace March

Just as the march was starting, I approached a few folks with large placards that were blank on the reverse side and placed a few extra images on them with their permission. By the third time I’d done this, I was surprised by a sudden rush of people wanting the same treatment for a variety of placards. The most popular choice by far was the Bush/Blair pic, as seen here.

London Peace March

I was damned busy for about 10 minutes before I ran out of signs – too busy to take photos, in fact – but I did manage to catch up with a few folks who had adopted them, and once I had one or two of these shots in the can I quietly got on with the serious business of marching.

London Peace March

Of course, there were quite a few businesses and amenities along the route that were closed down, boarded up or out of use. Such facilities were correctly labelled wherever possible.

London Peace March

This included the statue of Achilles at the entrance to Hyde Park (seen here fighting off one of those damned pigeons), but signage took on a fresh twist once the rally had started.

London Peace March

Here we move into an area that can only be described and conceptual art/wank. Armed with a staple gun, some plastic sheeting, duct tape and a lot of discarded placards, I began to build my own terror shelter.

London Peace March

A number of people watched me build over the hour or so that followed, which meant that my wanky installation had fulfilled its first purpose; to prove how easy it is to distract people with some duct tape and a few yards of plastic. The final touch was the ‘out of order’ sign. The point of this being?

London Peace March

Well, I would like to think that its pretty obvious. The shelter was soon surrounded by spectators, and delivering its message nicely. I left it to its job and headed over to the U.S. embassy in the hope that it would be inundated with protesters and therefore in need of an ‘out of order’ sign.

London Peace March

I was quite surprised to find it this quiet. Probably something to do with the (ahem) modest police presence.

London Peace March

I headed towards Oxford St, where I could see police blocking the road in even greater numbers. I met these chappies on their way back from what I assumed to be an effective redirection of the crowd.

London Peace March

These nice blokes were also on hand to discourage any unruly behaviour.

London Peace March

The protestors headed for the embassy had decided to take their stand where they were – by sitting down. Oxford St had suddenly become a pedestrian mall for peace, and the line of buses went back 6 blocks. I sat down and joined the protest.

London Peace March

The police moved in with a row of vans and an aggressive cordon. Sorry, but there’s no other way to put it. They came at us in a line – too fast at some times – causing a very unhealthy crush, and pushing people over trash cans and benches in the name of public safety (to cries of ‘shame’ from the protesters and onlookers).

London Peace March

Here’s a photo of the nice chap who moved me along. Things got interesting after this.

London Peace March

The Met’s methods met with limited success, as the protesters simply fell back where possible to form a new line. Of course, this was fine as far as the police were concerned. All they had to do was keep us busy so nobody got the bright idea of taking a quick walk one block south to the U.S. embassy.

London Peace March

It occurred to me that somebody could mention this to the crowd at any time and really shake things up, but having seen the aggressive way in which they merely kept us busy (and the huge presence waiting around the corner), I thought it best to keep my fool mouth shut.

London Peace March

The police had pretty much guaranteed that London would be the only city in the world that day not to host a protest outside a U.S. embassy , but they really had this young lad to thank for it. By climbing on top of a police van, he gave them a great excuse not to move and provided the crowd with a welcome focus point.

London Peace March

As we obviously weren’t going anywhere for a while, I took it upon myself to label a few buses caught up in the jam.

London Peace March

Then – and this really surprised me – a copy of my Bush/Blair pic came out of nowhere and was passed up to Vanboy. He threw it down, gave it a good stomping and then tore it up to enormous cheers. I rummaged though my bag and found that I had one more ‘No Blood For Bush’ sign left over and passed it up to the front. It got the same treatment. Some people have no respect for art.

London Peace March

BTW, this is the official police photographer who got a wonderful shot of me helping out. I figured one good turn deserved another.

London Peace March

From here I ran out of constructive things to do, so left the protest. Sure enough, the police were still waiting just around the corner. When I returned home, I heard that the riot police turned up not long after and things got rather ugly.

London Peace March

Hyde Park was pretty much empty by the time I got there, but I was still in time to check if my little art installation had survived the afternoon ahead of the cleanup.

London Peace March

Yup, it was still there 3 hours later, and largely intact.

London Peace March

I packed it up and helped to clean up a bit, but did wonder how many people I actually reached. In fact, I wondered for most of the trip home…

London Peace March

…until I arrived and saw this at the station. Score one for the team.








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