Search Seminar: last call for entries

Don’t forget to get your entries in for the SEO seminar ticket giveaway. Deadline is midnight on Sunday.

(You are a pack of lazy beggers, I’ll tell you that for nothing. There have only been email entries so far, and some pretty pathetic begging. In short, this competition is still wide open.)

;o)

UPDATE (28 Oct) – A report on this first event has now gone live here.

Click here to find out when the next Google 4 Grown-Ups seminar and workshop will be held.








Posted in Search Engine Optimisation | 3 Comments

Ian Blair resigns

And there goes Ian Blair! Only a few years too late, but never mind.

Isn’t it nice to know that you can shoot the wrong people, raid the wrong houses, lie outright to save face and still remain in your job, so long as you have the support of Boris Johnson?

I’m set for life… so long as I stay on his good side.

[dramatic sting]








Posted in The War on Stupid | 2 Comments

You’ll need coffee before tucking in

Tabloid Lies – The Sun at the fringe: … this year, for the first time ever, the Sun newspaper has been holding fringe events at the Labour and Conservative party conferences… The theme of the events, in case you couldn’t guess, is “Broken Britain”…








Posted in Rupert 'The Evil One' Murdoch | Comments Off

Sarah Palin will, I expect, be praying right about now

The Vice presidential debate* will be worth watching if you have the stamina.

(*Friday, 3 October 2008, 01:00:00 GMT -|- Thursday, 2 October 2008, 20:00:00 CDT)

(Psst! It’s fair to call this cramming, yes? Also, note the curt tone of CNN here.)

Andrew Sullivan – The Lies And Lies And Lies Of Sarah Palin: These are all documented, bald-faced factually irrefutable lies. More to the point: she refuses to cop to them or be held accountable for them or take questions about them.” (via)

Jonathan Martin – In reintroduction, Palin to do more interviews and “tell her story”: Of concern to McCain’s campaign, however, is a remaining and still-undisclosed clip from Palin’s interview with Couric last week that has the political world buzzing. The Palin aide, after first noting how “infuriating” it was for CBS to purportedly leak word about the gaffe, revealed that it came in response to a question about Supreme Court decisions. After noting Roe vs. Wade, Palin was apparently unable to discuss any major court cases. There was no verbal fumbling with this particular question as there was with some others, the aide said, but rather silence. (see also)

UPDATE – The BBC will be streaming the Biden-Palin debate live on its website from 0100 GMT. A prominent link to that will most probably appear here.

UPDATE – Video Streams: C-Span | BBC | MSNBC








Posted in Christ..., US Presidential Election 2008 | Comments Off

You’re welcome

You might remember a few years back that we had a period of financial difficulty that followed 9/11 11/9. In the 6 months that followed, I noticed a sharp rise in a particular type of spam; it was obvious from the cookie-cutter nature of the spam and the common sites, products and affiliate schemes they were promoting that someone, somewhere was getting rich selling ‘money making’ packages to desperate people everywhere.

Not long after, I wrote and published The Porn Report.

The intention of the report was to show budding porn salesmen that the typical porn-oriented entrepreneurial experience involved a fast path to disappointment, not riches.

We are now entering a fresh period of financial difficulty, and I’m confident that any time now we can expect a fresh batch of desperate people to:

– Look at the small amount of money they have to hand
– Wonder how they might be able to turn it into a future mortgage payment or two
– Seriously consider wasting their time (and yours) by having a go at making money from selling porn online ‘just this once’.
– Start this journey by entering a word or three into a search engine

Ladies and gentlemen, I humbly submit to you the following community service from Bloggerheads:

[post continues after the fold]

Continue reading








Posted in Search Engine Optimisation | Comments Off

SEO Seminar (10 Oct) – free ticket giveaway

Google 4 Grown-Ups is a search engine seminar with a live afternoon workshop, written and presented by yours truly:

Google 4 Grown-Ups
SEO Training Seminar
9am – 4pm Friday 10th October, 2008
Radisson Edwardian Grafton Hotel, London UK

The short version is that I’ve taken everything I’ve learned over the past 10 years (my first SEO experiments began in the day-long summer of 1998) and have carefully distilled it into a brand new seminar with something useful for everyone from beginners up, including these crucial aspects:

– How to form a keyword strategy that will last for years

– How to deploy that strategy so it brings in immediate returns

– How to structure that strategy so it brings in ever-increasing returns, with link popularity being your only variable

– What to consider when deciding the best method of link generation for your website

And after we’ve covered all of that, we’ll sit down for a tasty lunch and a chat, then reconvene for a workshop where we’ll address specific issues relating to the websites of audience members.

Even an expert can walk away from this seminar with something new, even if it’s ‘only’ the ability to finally explain what he does to laymen. (This is more important than you might think, because generally it’s a layman signing the cheques.)

So…. by now some of you will be wondering how you’re going to get your hands on that free ticket. Well, let me tell you about the three potential paths to freebie-land:

(Deadline for entries: 12 midnight, Sunday October 5th 2008)

1. Beg privately via email

Couldn’t be easier, or more demeaning. Just send me an email with the subject header ‘g4gu: begging for tickets’. Put what you like in the body of the email. Just make sure that you beg.

Begging privately via email = 1 chance in the draw

2. Tell a tale of search engine serendipity
(requires use of a weblog)

The role of search engines in the formation of networks should never be underestimated. I know of several long-time readers of Bloggerheads who first arrived via a search engine or search engine experiment, including Tom Watson. Most readers of weblogs will have at least one story in them about how they met a close friend/associate via a search engine and/or weblog… now is a good time to tell that story and (maybe) cash in. Once you’ve blogged it, drop me a line and send me a link to it.

Telling a tale of search engine serendipity = 5 chances in the draw

3. Convert to my religion and/or testify
(requires use of a weblog)

I’ve been trying to score a top search result for ‘religion’ in Google for years; last month I came tantalisingly close as I quietly slipped in and out of the Top 10 for the first time. With just a few more converts, I can finally take this long-term experiment to the next level. Click here to begin the conversion process and make sure that you let me know once you have converted.

If you have already converted (and many readers have) simply tell your readers why you did this and when, then send me a link to that post.

Converting to my religion and/or testifying = 10 chances in the draw

By now you may have noticed that web users with weblogs have a distinct advantage over those who don’t:

1. There will be no charge for this free lesson on How Teh Internets Work

2. Of course this competition is rigged! What do you take me for?

Once the deadline for entries has passed, I’ll draw a few items from the pile at random, and then choose one of my mates as the winner. Simple as.

(OK, I kid. The free ticket will go to the one reader of Bloggerheads that I regard to have the greatest need and/or the most potential. So choose your method and manner of entry wisely.)

The winner will be announced Monday 6th Oct, 2008.

Click here to find out more about Google 4 Grown-Ups.

UPDATE (28 Oct) – A report on this first event has now gone live here.

Click here to find out when the next Google 4 Grown-Ups seminar and workshop will be held.








Posted in Search Engine Optimisation | 2 Comments

Some interesting twitters from Tory fringe events in Birmingham

At the fringe of the 2008 Conservative Party Conference, a ‘Freedom & the Internet’ panel was chaired by notorious control-freak and liar Iain Dale, and featured Guido Fawkes, Phil Hendren, Chris Mounsey, Nadine Dorries. Oh, and last-minute hanger-on Praguetory.

Quite a line-up.

/understatement

The event went so well that not one of the bloggers who appeared on this panel has blogged about it yet, though it should be noted for the record that Mounsey can perhaps be excused on (ahem) compassionate grounds.

Some twitters from witnesses who are obviously enemies of freedom include:

Someone on the panel saying that ‘the internet’ needs to clean up its act. Personally, I’ve heard nothing but resistance to this idea from almost every member of this panel (and/or their sock puppets), and the chair (and/or his sock puppets). I’d be very interested to hear who actually said it.

No prizes for guessing who made this claim, though:

apparently guido fawkes (www.order-order.com) is on the a-level syllabus (source)

Paul ‘Guido’ Staines has also claimed that he is responsible for the most popular political video in the UK, that he’s getting up to five times more traffic than he has actually tracked, and that his blog is worth “at least” a million pounds.

We probably should have known what we were in for when the thieving little sod turned up out of the blue in 2005 and immediately declared himself and two mates (including Alex Hilton) to be “three of Britain’s most popular political bloggers”.

Paul ‘Guido’ Staines is also oddly fond of claiming that he does a lot of work to keep the BNP at bay. And that’s all that gets deleted under comments on his site, obviously. Staines would never stoop to censoring comments and/or making anonymous comments on his own website (while screaming ‘astroturfer’ at others) when it’s his own fat arse on the line, oh no.

A most revealing comment from the floor twittered here; it was suggested that delegates “blur the lines between fact and fiction ‘with integrity’…”

OK, stop laughing at the back, there’s still a lot of Dorries to get through.

(pause)

What did I just say?

(pause)

*sigh*

OK, just hold your sides and we’ll soldier on as best we can:

Her Majesty enters the room, and all are amazed at this dazzling vision of truth and purity.

Almost a year after suddenly closing comments on her ‘blog’, Nadine Dorries still hasn’t come up with a plausible excuse: 1, 2, 3.

Nadine Dorries declares that she gets someone else to do the actual posting for her. Wow. She’s an even more pathetic blog-pretender than I previously gave her credit for.

Nadine Dorries claims that the chief whip has been telling her what she can and cannot blog. But she’s probably just big-noting herself.

Nadine Dorries effectively calls the Tory front bench a bunch of liars!

At a later event ‘Collaboration or Control? Politics and the Internet in the 21st Century’ featuring Robert Colvile (Telegraph), Iain Dale, Jeremy Hunt MP and Paul Morris (Microsoft), it was twittered that someone (probably Colvile) cited Nadine Dorries as the reason why most MPs don’t blog:

mp nadine has just been quoted as the reason most other mp’s don’t have blogs. but they’ll have to come round eventually (source)

Dale was up to speak immediately afterwards. What he said in response to that is not mentioned, but he’s unlikely to tell MPs that what Nadine is doing isn’t really blogging.

All hail Teh Grand Ambassadors of Political Blogging.

(Psst! Another highlight: Jeremy Hunt apparently claiming that Web 2.0 belongs to the right. In 2006, Hunt was confronted with evidence that two totally-2.0 Tory activists working under neighbouring MP Anne Milton had produced an anonymous weblog claiming that a political opponent was a paedophile. Like Dale, Hunt refused to condemn the action, or even mention it. What a nice guy.)

UPDATE – As I was writing this, Phil ‘nuisance caller’ Hendren finally managed to blog something about the event, but couldn’t squeeze out anything beyond more blurring of the lines between fact and fiction. With integrity, obviously.

(Re: Dorries’ apparent decision to stop pretending to blog… don’t get your hopes up.)








Posted in The Political Weblog Movement | 3 Comments

Images, goodies and updates

Hi gang!

It looks like Google Images has dipped in for a second helping over at the B3ta boards (click here for background) so it’ll probably be a few weeks yet before we see any relevant results for ‘julie moult’ in Google Images.

Therefore, (a) for now I’ll just have to settle for being the top text result for her name almost everywhere, and (b) there’s no point putting off the first round of prizes any longer.

Well, maybe a *bit* longer.

:o)

There’ll be a general prize-giving from the prize shelf next Monday afternoon (the latest thinking is to just let winners just choose an item off the shelf, neatly side-stepping any random draw nonsense), PLUS, on the same day I’ll be giving away a free ticket to my upcoming SEO seminar.

Details to follow.








Posted in Consume! | Comments Off

Bloggers issued with hastily-carved ‘Ten Commandments’

Oi, you lot!

Go work your own side of the streetthis spot’s taken.








Posted in Christ... | 1 Comment

Dracula’s Lament (by Jason Segel) – lyrics and tabs

This is my new favourite thing:
Dracula’s Lament (Jason Segel)

From the not-bad movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall.

The best cover I’ve heard so far is here.

It’s so sad and lovely, and I’d like to encourage further appearances of this song, so consider this a litle way-station for people who are taking a serious interest in it.

Here are the lyrics:

Jason Segel – Dracula’s Lament

It’s getting kind of hard to believe things are going to better.
I’ve been drowning too long to believe that the tide’s going to turn.
And I’ve been living too hard to believe things are going to get easier now.
I’m still trying to shake off the pain from the lessons I’ve learned.
And if I see Van Helsing I swear to the Lord I will slay him. AH-HAH-HAH-HAH!
He’d take it from me, but I swear I won’t let it be so. AH-HAH-HAH-HAH!
Blood will run down his face when he is decapitated. AH!
His head on my mantle is how I will let this one know: how much I love you.

Die.

Die.

Die.

I can’t.

*sniff*

I just need a moment…

(grimaces)
(cracks)
(bawls)

UPDATE – OK, some passable tabs can be found here (hidden under ‘more info’), complete with a handy video. Fine and selfless work from enigma515, who has also done this same job on Peter, You Suck).

Do shout out if you find a better/tidier version or if you think you can better/tidy any of this.








Posted in Geekage | 4 Comments