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Can Weblogs Make a Politician Keep a Promise?

Tony Blair's Email Phase 4 - The Blair Porn Project


One of a series of Can Weblogs...? experiments from 2002-2004.

Click here to review Phase 1, Phase 2 or Phase 3

WARNING - this is not Tony Blair's real email address

I don't believe this; Tony Blair is forcing me into a fourth phase!

After Tony Blair promised to deliver a publicly available email address 'in the new year,' Bloggerheads went on strike for a week in early January (with no bloggage bar constant repeats of this same damn picture), and urged its readers to send a letter or facsimile to 10 Downing St asking exactly when this email address would be ready.

Downing Street's reaction to this was to simply repeat the same vague promise of delivery - further watered down to 'sometime in the new year' - and to deny that any letters or faxes were received on this matter. I was stupid enough to believe them. For about 8 seconds.

Readers of this blog were then granted the status of union members and asked to vote on the continuation of the strike. The options provided were as follows:

1) Get back to blogging and trust that they'll eventually deliver (perhaps even before the war starts).
2) Continue the strike, but this time with images of Tony Blair in pornographic poses.

Voting from readers/members was 50-50, and I must admit that we looked to be a no-win situation until I noticed that many folks voting for a return to work also expressed an interest in Blair Porn, and that many who voted for a continued strike action did so mainly because Blair Porn came with the package.

Added to this was the fact that I've yet to talk to a real person at 10 Downing St.

No matter what I do or how I approach the situation, I always seem to end up talking to an on-message flunky in the press office or someone-or-other in charge of communications. The last such person tried to offer some comfort by assuring me that she could see the IT department from where she was sitting, but this still doesn't put me directly in touch with the person in charge of the project, now does it? At best, I can hear them playing Bullshit Bingo in the background.

When will this email service be delivered? Are they having any problems? Can I help? I can't ask any of these questions and have them answered intelligently until I speak to someone in charge.

So far, I've tried to be pretty reasonable about this. I'm in command of most top search results pertaining to Tony Blair's email address. Free email-to-fax services exist that would allow me to immediately provide a well-publicised 'email Tony Blair now' service that is sure to overload their fax machines within a day. I haven't done this. Yet.

But...

The deletion of all remaining emails in my possession will be going ahead as planned in late January. (There's a special surprise in store on this front, so do stay tuned for details...)

Additionally, the regular production of Blair Porn begins here. We'll start slowly with a few gentle barbs aimed at Tony. His office should be advised that these images will become increasingly pornographic until I get some real answers from the project leader who's supposed to deliver this long-overdue email address.

Further, readers of this weblog will be requested to forward these charming images to friends and colleagues. Once each image is released in such a way, it will remain in the public domain pretty much forever. For-ev-er. No matter how many demands they send to have such images removed from this site or any other that cares to host it, they will continue to bounce from inbox to inbox and there won't be a bloody thing they or I will be able to do about it.

Finally, if there's a pronounced delay to a real reply from 10 Downing St, we start on Cherie (though we'll probably kick in with the email-to-fax service before we stoop so low as to target Euan).


The Image Gallery

13 Jan, 2003 - Tony Blair enjoys some light reading...

Our first image has a simplistic charm combined with a carefully-layered political message (though you probably need to be a Private Eye reader to catch it all).


14 Jan, 2003 - George and Tony cuddle up against terrorism...

Our second image pretty much sums up the United Kingdom's 'special relationship' with the United States.
Click here for a large B&W cut-out version for use on anti-war placards, banners, etc.

15 Jan, 2003 - Yeeeeeeehah!

This is what Tony gets up to on his holidays...


16 Jan, 2003 - Group

Let's hear it for Electric Tonyland! His office had best call soon - things are getting a little steamy.


17 Jan, 2003 - Classic Nude

I thought to myself; "Self," I said, "if you're forced to reveal genitalia, try to do so with a little bit of class."


Click here to go to Part 2 of the Blair Porn Gallery


Back to 'Can Weblogs...?' for further results and updates.


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