Anne Milton - Guildford MP (and Dipstick)

Dear Anne,

It's been 11 days, 18 hours, 4 minutes and 19 seconds since you promised to get back to me about your latest pamphlet and how many 'men or women in the street' were actually Tory party activists and/or closely associated with your campaign.

Just how long does it take to formulate the reply; "All of them!"...?

I ask because I'd like to put this episode behind us and move on to some other questions such as:

Are you really claiming that you will oppose any plans to build an incinerator in Guildford? Isn't this a little strange, given that plans for an incinerator originated from the Tory-run Council?

You appear to be strangely silent on the subject of the rights and wrongs of a casino in Guildford. Do you actually have a view on this, or are you waiting to hear what other people think first?

Cheers

Tim

Labels: inaction, tory ringers

A reader just sent me scan of a recent pamphlet/newsletter from Dennis Paul. You can click here to see a JPG, but I've also included the full text below to make your life easier.

Dennis Paul is a local prospective Conservative County Council candidate. He features in Anne Milton's latest pamphlet and appears here with Anne as part of their campaign to reduce noise levels from the A3. You can see a larger version of this photo and others at Dennis Paul's website.

(Please note that I have yet to get in touch with Dennis Paul to authenticate this document. The only reason I suspect it may not be genuine is because it reads like something the BNP would release.)

Transcript follows:

Conservative - Park Barn Edition - February 2005

Asylum Numbers Fuels (sic) Fears About Housing Availability

Local applicants for Council housing have raised concerns with prospective candidate Dennis Paul about uncontrolled immigration.

As one resident in Park Barn we spoke to put it, "I've been on the waiting list for housing for 3 years now. I have 2 small kids and getting a suitable place these days with house prices the way they are at the moment is impossible. It's unfair that locals like me have to wait, while an asylum seeker get's (sic) put up in a nice home within weeks".

Another enraged resident claimed, "I've paid taxes all my life... for what? They are getting state help without paying anything back whatsoever. I've heard the Government is planning to bring in loans too, but whose (sic) going to pay for those who default, and for the administration that goes with it - us, the taxpayer".

(Did You Know? - Between 1997-2003 asylum applications rose by an astonishing 48 per cent. Despite the end of the Cold War and wars in the Balkans, the number of people claiming asylum under the last Conservative Government fell by 43 per cent between 1991-1996.)

Conservatives will offer refuge to people genuinely fleeing persecution and torture, but like you, we see the Government has:

- failed to effectively deal with the thousands of asylum applications;

- failed to process applications quickly;

- failed to ensure that those who disappear or are found bogus, are found an required to leave.

Conservatives would tackle this problem more effectively with better control of immigrations, which would help alleviate concerns about housing availability.

Join Me Online At My Campaign Website www.dennispaul.org

/transcript


1. His use of statistics is selective at best. Especially as this was published in February 2005, and he fails to acknowledge the recent decrease in figures...

BBC - Tue 22 Feb 2005 - Asylum figures continue to fall

2. CRSA - Asylum Seeker Myths - They are being given a high standard of housing while locals are homeless and living in run-down homes: Council taxpayers' money is not used to house asylum seekers therefore local people are not being disadvantaged. We are meeting our obligations under international law to treat asylum seekers fairly and decently.

This is a myth that Dennis Paul is perpetuating by printing something that suggests there is a direct connection between a Park Barn resident's housing problem and the housing of asylum seekers. Why, it's almost as if they gave a this person's house to an asylum seeker. Sure, it happens all the time. Why, I once heard that...

3. Let's stick with that for a moment here. The headline states that "asylum numbers fuel fears about housing availability"... but in this very pamphlet, Dennis Paul uses those same fears to make his case and his own carefully massaged figures to increase the fear!

There is no real problem here that I can see... only the perception of one. Which doesn't really become a big problem unless someone irresponsibly perpetuates myths and stirs up fear (say, for political gain).

In short, Dennis Paul claims he wishes to act mainly to "alleviate concerns".... but these concerns he wishes to alleviate are the same concerns that he works so hard to exacerbate!

In fact, it seems to me that the only problem present in this document would be improved greatly by Dennis Paul's absence.

That's one heck of an ally you've go there, Anne. I can't wait to find out more about your other Tory chums.

Labels: dennis paul, racism

And now, an important message from Anne Milton, Yoda and the Conservative Party:

WHAT DO TRAINS YOU THINK?

This wonderful photo (you can see more here) was taken when Anne Milton hit the streets to ask Guildford's commuters what they think of the rail service:



So... what do trains I think?

Privatisation be the problem making, I think. Problem be Conservatives caused by, I think also.

Words be spoke by Tim Yeo the former Shadow for Transport Minister being: "Railway privatisation, of which I have long been an enthusiastic supporter, is the first and long overdue step towards rebuilding a golden age of rail.."

But turning out that way they not turn out to be, yes?

Things be turning out as a pear all shaped.

So... what do trains I think?

I think shutting up Anne Milton should be.

What do trains you think?

Labels: hypocrisy, the usual rubbish

[SPECIAL UPDATE (Jan 2007) - Click here to find out what Michael Chambers has been up to since this first outing.]

Hehehehehe.

From the comments under Anne Milton's latest pamphlet: Mike Chambers curiously has a very close resemblance to the original Alfred E. Neumann of MAD magazine ("What, me worry ?") Are They related ? I think we should be told; it was bad enough having Anne Milton looking like Julian Cleary having a bad-hair day !

You know, our man from Shalford may just have a point...

Labels: mike chambers

[SPECIAL UPDATE (Jan 2007) - Click here to find out what Michael Chambers has been up to since this first outing.]

There was something that caught my eye on the latest Anne Milton pamphlet to drop through my door. It all began with the back page featuring real-genuine-on-the-spot-people-on-the-street giving their opinions and showing that Anne Milton is the talk of the town and beloved by all. But the subject of one of these vox-pops also appears on the front page in a group shot of local Tory councillors.



They may very well have collared an ordinary member of the public on the street for a vox-pop and then coaxed her into the group shot. I admit that this is possible. But it was enough to make me curious about some other faces on the back page.

I began with 'Mike', who says: "Fun, enthusiastic and a real fighter for young and old. Anne's a winner."

The only problem is that 'Mike' bears an uncanny resemblance to Mike Chambers, who describes himself here as "Chairman of The Conservative Society" (for the University of Surrey, presumably) and a "Tory party activist"...



This isn't the only discussion board that Mike Chambers has been active on, BTW. Here's Mike Chambers singing the praises of Anne Milton and here he is slagging off Lib-Dem MP Sue Doughty.

Here he is getting a plug on the Guildford Conservatives website, and here he is again on a decision to "establish a Guildford branch of Conservative Future – the wing of the Conservative party for 18-30s" (this same page also announces an exciting future event - Comedy Night with Jim Davidson!)

The photo above was sourced from this photo gallery at the University of Surrey Conservative Society website, where you can see Mike Chambers meeting Anne Milton and meeting Jeffrey Archer.

If the two Mikes are one and the same, then:

1. Yes, he's local
2. Yes, he's welcome to his opinion
but...
3. He's hardly your typical man on the street, now is he?

So, that's one. Before I dig any deeper, let's begin with that and ask Anne Milton straight out...


To: anne AT annemilton DOT com
From: Tim Ireland

Dear Anne,

I've just received a copy of your latest pamphlet. On the back are some vox-pops that appear to be from ordinary members of the public, but 'Mike' looks an awful lot like Mike Chambers, who is a self-proclaimed Tory party activist and - as far as I can tell - Chairman of The Conservative Society for the University of Surrey.

1. Are the two Mikes one and the same person?
2. Who else on this back page is closely tied to a Conservative organisation and/or your campaign?

Before you answer by promising to investigate, please remember that you promised to investigate an unpleasant call I received recently, but failed to reveal or 'discover' that the call came from a Tory Party call centre.

Tim Ireland

UPDATE (2:00pm) - I emailed Mike Chambers about it, too. At his Learning & Skills Council email address. And since then, someone using this Learning & Skills Council IP address has visited this page and refreshed it quite a few times. Perhaps Mike is waiting to see if there's an answer from Anne. But an answer from him would do just as well. Mike, I know you're probably reading this... would you care to confirm or deny?

UPDATE (5:30pm) - Well, this pretty much nails it for me... I popped into the Univeristy of Surrey discussion board linked above and asked some regulars if this was the same Mike they knew and loved. There was some confusion at first, because the Mike in Anne Milton's pamphlet does look like Mike Chambers... only much younger. But I'm now convinced that it is him. The clincher (apart from the responses on this board and two private confirmations by email) was the response from 'maxski', who not only knows Mike, but is involved in some of his Tory activities. His response wasn't 'yes' or 'no', but "Haven't you got anything better to do???"

(BTW, my answer to that question is; "304 days, 17 hours, 44 minutes and 54 seconds"...)

UPDATE (7:00pm) - We now have confirmation direct from Anne Milton that it is Mike Chambers. Her position can easily be summed up as 'So what if it is?', as the pamphlet says "What do local people think about Anne Milton?" and being a Tory party activist does not stop someone from being a local person. Technically. I personally hold a different view. The pamphlet is designed to suggest that these are normal work-a-day people who have nice things to say about Anne as she is 'the talk of the town', when in reality, an unknown number of them are closely associated with her party and/or campaign. Anne has promised to get back to me with details of the other vox-pops. Updates to follow.

Labels: mike chambers, tory ringers

I think that perhaps I've been a little unfair about this whole star sign malarkey, so have decided to publish the personalised star charts (via Astrolabe) for the three major party leaders below in an effort to explore the possibilities of Anne finding and determining her own destiny via the stars.

(If Anne would care to get provide her own precise birth-date, I'd be happy to source and publish a combined daily horoscope that will allow her to determine the best days on which to press the flesh, draft press releases, tackle large issues, and perhaps even find love.)

One interesting thing to note about Tony Blair's star chart is that birth date. If the general election does take place on May 5, Tony will be celebrating his 52nd birthday the day after the election!

-

Name: Tony Blair
Born: May 6 1953 in Edinburgh, Scotland

Star Sign: Taurus

Rising Sign: in 17 Degrees Leo

You love to be the centre of attention and you want to appear strong, confident and dominant. You are very proud of yourself, sometimes quite vain even. When all around you are bedraggled and falling apart, you look like a million bucks! Very dignified and honourable, you enjoy the power and privilege, but not the responsibilities, that come with leadership. You are very idealistic but can also be quite stubborn. Others impress you only if they have integrity (but wealth, power and influence can also turn your head). You prefer rich, elegant surroundings and possessions, and will try to acquire them as your budget allows. Physically, you are very impressive - - at your best you have a regal, charismatic demeanour and bearing. Try not to be such a show-off!

-

Name: Michael Howard
Born (as Michael Hecht): July 7, 1941 in Llanelli, Wales

Star Sign: Cancer

Rising Sign: in 27 Degrees Virgo

You tend to be very shy and not very self-assertive. You are supercritical about how you appear to others. Even though you may think you are uninteresting and dull, you are actually quite soft- spoken, orderly, neat and very likable. You are a perfectionist with high standards, and at times you can be quite tactless in pointing out the faults of others. Very practical, efficient and purposeful, your appearance and bearing reflect your need to appear graceful, sensible and reserved. You have a crisp, no-nonsense approach to dealing with others. Never lazy or self-indulgent, you tend to be dedicated to the work ethic.

-

Name: Charles Kennedy
Born: November 25, 1959 in Inverness, Scotland

Star Sign: Sagittarius

Rising Sign: in 18 Degrees Capricorn

You are practical and reserved but very ambitious. An achiever and a hard worker, you respect success. Older looking and very serious as a youth, things lighten up and you relax more as you mature. You have a serious view of the world as being a difficult place to be in. Very envious of those who seem to have an easier life than you have, relaxation and play do not come easily. It is important that you had abundant parental support as a child so that you do not feel lonely and isolated as an adult. Generally, you have a good, earthy sense of humour that can carry you through when times really do get tough. You are purposeful, self-willed, industrious, realistic and responsible.

-

Labels: the usual rubbish

Anne Milton first came to my attention in the latter half of 2004, when posters and pamphlets first appeared giving me the following details about her qualifications...

Anne Milton: Nurse. Mother.

... and that's it. I remember being distinctly underwhelmed, but didn't see the point in making a big deal about it. (Nature abhors a vacuum - and I'm less than tolerant myself - but at this stage I was trying to set a good example for proxy-bloggers... so much so that I'd even eased up on Tim Yeo).

I later heard that subsequent pamphlets had gone one step further by revealing Anne's star-sign. I had a quiet chortle at that, but - again - let it go.

However... when someone from an 'independent survey company' called my home on behalf of Anne Milton and got uppity when I wanted to ask a few questions, I was a little bit peeved. When I emailed Anne Milton about it and she promised to 'investigate' but failed to mention (or perhaps 'discover') that this call came from a Tory party call-centre, I was well-and-truly miffed.

So, here I am with a brand new weblog. Its title:

Anne Milton: Nurse. Mother. Dipstick.

The plan is to focus a microscope on Anne Milton's campaign in an effort to find something - anything - of substance.

Labels: housekeeping, inaction, the usual rubbish