Anne Milton - Guildford MP (and Dipstick)

The latest issue of the Surrey Advertiser reports that David Cameron rolled into town this week "to test-drive an array of eco-friendly cars" at Dunsfold Park.

It also informs us that MPs Jeremy Hunt and Anne Milton were rather shy about what they drive... they both chose to hide their cars behind an aircraft hangar!

Jeremy - to his credit - reacted to that hot feeling on the back of his neck and made a pledge to upgrade to a hybrid alternative.

Anne had no such feeling (insert 'cold-blooded reptile' joke here) and made no such pledge... and instead chose to dodge the issue. (Surprise, surprise, surprise!)

So... given that Amme has to drive all the way from Reigate (on those days when she can be bothered to turn up in Guildford at all) I think that the electorate has a right to know what model car she drives... don't you?

PS - I really must include this picture from the event. It speaks for itself...

UPDATE - Independent - Cameron's image as green leader goes up in smoke: David Cameron's campaign for the green vote suffered a setback when it emerged that he is followed by his official car when he cycles to work. Mr Cameron has been regularly photographed cycling the five miles from his west London home to Westminster. In fact, he is often followed by his Lexus car, whose driver picks up shoes, clothes and documents the Tory leader cannot carry on his bike.

Labels: 'local', david cameron, hypocrisy, publicity

There now follows a short cross-party announcement:

At 14.30 the PCT will meet at the Millmead Baptist Centre (map) to recommend that community beds are reduced, and that Cranleigh and Milford close. It is thought probable that at a later stage we will lose Haselmere hospital too. Cranleigh and Milford hospitals perform differing functions with Cranleigh serving mainly the area around it providing good bed care which is better provided away from the Royal Surrey County Hospital (RSCH). Milford hospital has provided rehabilitation care across the Guildford and Waverley area and is used by Guildford people. The decision is devastating for the groups who have been supporting these hospitals and calls into question the groundbreaking plans for a new Cranleigh Hospital and Health Centre which would have been a joint NHS/Private facility using non PFI funding, and underpinned by a major donation of land for the hospital and lots of local fundraising. It is possible that the hospitals could be closed within a week of the decision.

This is a good photo opportunity and we are expecting substantial media attention on the meeting. We will also be listening to the deliberations of the PCT board. We will not be allowed to ask questions at this meeting. If at all possible please come as if for a funeral. Many of us will be wearing black and sitting at the back of the Baptist Church.

UPDATE - She turned up. Late.

Labels: publicity

I wish to formally distance myself from the suggestion that Anne Milton resembles Julian Clary (especially now that the two have met and Julian has wisely decided to run very fast in the opposite direction).

Truth be told, Anne Milton bears a much closer resemblance to Lauren Harries.

OK, I know what you're thinking; first I compare her to a transvestite, now a transsexual... but just take a look for yourselves before you scream the word 'homophobe':

Labels: turtleneck sweaters

Surrey Advertiser - Hospital beds set to close: There was bad news for Cranleigh this week when it was revealed that local health chiefs are pushing for the closure of the village hospital’s beds... Guildford MP Anne Milton said she was deeply upset by the news, adding: “The community is having to take the pain of years of mismanagement within the PCT.” The PCT has hailed the response to its consultation – almost 24,000 contributions – as a success but Mrs Milton said: “Whatever people said, it wasn’t going to make any difference to what the PCT did.” She has again written to Health Secretary, Patricia Hewitt, but doubted the PCT was likely to change its stance. Former MP, Sue Doughty, labelled the proposal “outrageous”, adding: “It completely flies in the face of the Government’s own proposals, and combined with the proposals to close A&E at the Royal Surrey means that Cranleigh people will be completely isolated in terms of hospital based health care.”

How nice it is to see our former MP (who may stand again) defiant in the face of reckless stupidity while the alligator-skin luggage we've been lumbered with publicly admits defeat. I don't know exactly what Milton used to do as a nurse, but I pray to God they didn't put her in charge of resuscitation.... because Milton also appears on page 3 of the Surrey Ad, and again throws her hands in the air with a defeatist line on public consultation... this time over the possible closure of the A&E department of the Royal Surrey County Hospital!

We don't pay her to be angry, upset or passionate... we pay her to take action. FFS, this is supposed to be the one area where her strengths lie, but she's turning out to be as useless as tits on a bull on all fronts. (Though I suppose we should be thankful that she has at least got her hands on a clever researcher. Amme now manages to avoid major embarrassments in Westminster when she's not required to think on her feet.)

Of course, Amme now finds it much harder to get things done after close to 12 months of treating local groups and organisations like something she found on the bottom of her shoe (she turned up at my kids' school the other week and this pattern continued when she stayed long enough to have her picture taken and then took off).

You'd think that a woman who began with no real support network (1, 2, 3, 4) would work to build an actual one upon getting the job, but not our Amme.

No, she prefers to slug it out take a dive alone.

Labels: inaction

Anne Milton MP launches search for local heroes: Anne Milton MP is urging Guildford residents to nominate their community's local heroes for recognition through the Nationwide Awards for Voluntary Endeavour... Anne Milton MP said: "These awards recognise and reward the 'local heroes' in our community whose voluntary of community activity has made a real difference to peoples' lives. Those who give up their free time to help others rarely ask for recognition but I believe they deserve it. This is your chance to nominate someone who you believe deserves and award and make sure their work is recognised. The closing date for nominations is the 28th April 2006."

Well, there you have it... you have 8 days left to nominate little old me.

;o)

Click here to do so.

Labels: publicity

Independent - How the BNP is gaining ground in Barking with a campaign of lies and distortions:

Rose Thomson has lived happily next to the Longbridge Road campus buildings for 30 years. But now she wants to move. She said: "The asylum-seekers are coming. They're taking over. It's not British here any more."

Mrs Thomson, 67, echoed many who live near the complex outside Barking town centre who believe the site, now occupied by the University of East London, will soon be turned into housing for refugees.

It is not true. The campus is earmarked for a regeneration project that includes low-rent housing. But that has not stopped it being circulated on doorsteps on behalf of the British National Party as it tries to polarise opinion and win backing among the 165,000 voters in this docile and traditionally Labour-dominated corner of east London in next month's local elections.

The result is a game of political smoke and mirrors with the far-right party using shady tactics, including the apparent use of unoccupied addresses as candidates' homes, and questionable statistics to boost its support...

Well, how about that, then? It would appear that the BNP uses exactly the same tactics that our dear friend Anne Milton used to earn her 347-strong majority.

I'm tempted to stick to this point, but first I must turn my attention to the news.... erm, because there hasn't been any.

Last week the Queen dropped by to visit Guildford. She distributed the Maundy Money at a service in Guildford Cathedral. Then she went on a walkabout in the High Street. Before stopping for lunch at the Guildhall. Basically, she was in town for a while and she rubbed more than one elbow.

Did Amme get her picture in the local paper as a result of this visit? No.
Did Amme get *mentioned* in the local paper as a result of this visit? No.
Did Amme manage to get snapped with the Queen at all? No.
(Note - Even Dennis Paul failed to get a shot off!)

Ooooh, that's gotta hurt. Especially for a born attention-seeker like Anne Milton.

I must admit that when I first read about the visit I had to do some checking to make sure that she turned up in the first place... and perhaps - just perhaps - her failure to turn up to a string of local events (and/or staying for more than two minutes while feigning graciousness) played a role in this under-reporting. I'm not suggesting that it was malicious, only that reporters may have failed to recognise her, having not seen her around for a while.

No matter... with such a slim majority, a distinctly lacklustre first year and recent boundary changes to the constituency, Milton must know by now that her future does not lie with Guildford (if she ever thought of us as something other than a stepping-stone in the first place).

No, Anne's future lies with a career in the Conservatives and...

Sorry, what's that? She's in the what now...?

Guardian - The little blue book: Shortly after "Dave the Chameleon" makes his first appearance on TV tonight, Dave's shadow chancellor will be launching a thinktank pamphlet. These days, George Osborne doesn't turn up to any old Westminster launch. But then Conservative Revival: Blueprint for a Better Britain isn't any old thinktank rant. David Cameron pouts earnestly from the cover of the 170-page handbook, which, in style and content, is the closest the Cameroons have come to a brand manifesto.... The contributing authors were to have included the MPs Justine Greening and Anne Milton. In the end, Philp looked to a younger generation of Tories: Dominic Schofield, Nicky Morgan, Sarah Richardson, Martin McElwee, Robert Halfon and Damian Collins, all of whom failed to gain seats in 2005.

Aw, no... now the Tories won't let poor Anne join in any reindeer games.

I've got two words for you, folks: Old and Busted.

Yes, Anne Milton has been cast aside for the New Hotness... even though all of these alternative candidates failed to lie their way into a seat as Milton has done.

Taking all of these factors into account, and combining it with Anne Milton's flat-out refusal to live anywhere but Tierra del Fuego, I feel compelled to offer Anne the following career advice:

Join the BNP and run in Reigate. You'll feel right at home.

Labels: publicity, racism