Friday, May 27, 2005 

All publicity is good publicity II

Anne's first local press result! And yes folks, it's an overwhelming reaction to Anne's maiden speech.

Erm, actually it's not. Perhaps if she included the phrase "Webster's Dictionary describes Guildford as..." or a bit more information on the Norwegian Leather Industry, she would have got more coverage...

(Note - I've highlighted gems that are sure to have been lifted directly from a press release.)

icSurreyOnline - Councillor's lobbying skills in demand:

A well-known former borough councillor has been elected as an MP - but it is not her lobbying skills that are attracting attention. Anne Milton, voted in as Conservative MP for Guildford, has been singled out by Private Eye magazine as being a dead-ringer for TV comic Julian Clary.... The mother-of-four has taken the jokes in good spirit and admitted to being "moderately flattered" by the comparison... "I was amazed by it," she told the Surrey Mirror. "I think it's very amusing. People like George Bush get in Private Eye so I was moderately flattered."

Reigate borough councillor and friend John Lyndon Morgan said he was not surprised to hear that Mrs Milton was amused by the comparison. He added: "I didn't see the article myself but her reaction is just as I would have expected. Perhaps it's Julian Clary that looks like her and not the other way around. Anne is a super person and I hold her in high regard."


Friday, May 20, 2005 

All publicity is good publicity

Spotted in Today's Times (20 May 2005): Anne Milton, the new Tory MP for Guildford, has been subjected in Private Eye to unflattering comparisons with the camp comic Julian Clary. Imagine Milton's surprise when she opened her post yesterday to find a signed copy of Clary's book, A Young Man's Passage, complete with a charming message from the author. Whether she reads it is another matter.

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Thursday, May 19, 2005 


1. I can offer a very special and exclusive prize (to anyone who's a fan of my photoshopping) for the first photo of Anne Milton - our loving Matron - with her lips wrapped around a smoking fag.

2. Word reaches me that Anne has a nickname other than 'Dipstick'. It has been reported than the name 'Princess Pushy' has been attributed to her since She With The VSM (very small margin) was seen edging her way to the front of subsequent photo-ops. Ah, yes... eye on the prize. Patsy likes that in an MP, yes she does.

3. I wonder when Anne's 'residence' will come back on the market? Perhaps it's on the market or even taken already. No sense in continuing to live in a one-bedroom flat with a husband and three kids at home, now is there?

4. This groundless, needlessly personal and clearly biased post is dedicated to the many supporters of Anne Milton who finally had to guts to speak up (after the election) but still have not answered any pending questions beyond "Ha-ha, you lost!" and/or "Anne is a really nice person, why can't you accept that?"

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Tuesday, May 10, 2005 

Spot the attention-seeker

click for story

Yes, it's the man in the orange tie.


The best 'in defence of' comment so far has come from Patsy, who seems to be claiming here that an MP who seeks attention is more visible, which in turn makes them more accessible.

Well, perhaps from a sniper's point of view.

(Attention Mandy Worrall: that is what is known in human circles as a *joke*. And speaking of jokes...)

Independent - Electoral reform: Why it's time for change: The Government is facing calls for a wholesale review of the voting system after the general election was condemned as a "travesty of democracy". Politicians from all parties demanded that the first-past-the-post system be scrapped after Labour formed a Government with the smallest share of the vote for more than 100 years. In Surrey, more than 148,000 votes were cast for the Liberal Democrats and 87,000 voted Labour, yet every seat was won by the Tories.


Friday, May 06, 2005 

Fear. Works.

Guildford, we're in for a rough 4 years. Bullshit won the election (by 347 votes); Milton will *not* be allowed to get away with bullshit as our representative.

My first question to Dipstick: *When* exactly will we see you take action against a Guildford casino? As you promised. (I so look forward to your first hug confrontation with Michel Harper.)

PS - Those of us watching the results live have been disturbed by a pattern of strong BNP results. This is almost certainly the result of the Tory/Crosby effect bolstering, spreading and/or legitimising racism. Anne Milton did not - at any stage of her campaign - even try to distance herself from the grubby, racist Tory leaflets deliberately targeted at impoverished areas. You will want to watch this woman very, very closely.

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Wednesday, May 04, 2005 

Last-minute number-crunching

Up until this very moment, this weblog has reached 4,375 unique visitors. 1,673 of them have come back for more.

The Press Association do not expect results from Guildford until 2:30am on Friday morning. reports the following odds from William Hill:

Liberal Democrat Party - 4/9
Conservative Party - 13/8
Labour Party - 33/1
UKIP - 100/1

There are a lot of unknowns (from the effectiveness of the Tory 'fear of everything' campaign to the increased likelihood of protest votes from former Labour supporters) but my own personal prediction in this election is for Sue Doughty to retain her seat by at least 1,200 votes.



A final word

Good people of Guildford; I have a few final words I'd like to say about this weblog, the Conservative candidate, and your vote on May the 5th.

You are, of course, welcome and free to vote any way you wish... but there are a few facts (repeat; facts) that I think should be brought to your attention. All of this data was collected as part of the main purpose of the weblog, which was made clear from the very start: The plan is to focus a microscope on Anne Milton's campaign in an effort to find something - anything - of substance.

It has been suggested/suspected that this weblog is the work of Liberal Democrats. I feel I should also go on the record - one final time - and state my position on this:

I am planning on voting for Sue Doughty. Why? Because over the years I've seen plenty of evidence of her effectiveness as an MP. I've been greatly cheered by her correspondence (in the letters pages of the Surrey Advertiser) with the developer Michel Harper over the small matter of large casinos. When I needed her, Sue Doughty was there to ask a question in Parliament on my behalf. And finally, whenever the subject of Iraq or civil liberties came up in Parliament, I had no need to badger my local MP to do the right thing, as I knew that Sue Doughty would always vote responsibly. In this respect and in many others, she has never let me down. I am more than happy to see Sue Doughty continue as my - and your - MP.

I am not a member of the Liberal Democrats. I am not associated with Sue Doughty's campaign and/or a member of her campaign team. I am merely a satisfied constituent.

So let's get on to Anne Milton who, statistically speaking, is the only alternative candidate.

The first time I approached Anne with a problem, it involved a rather disturbing cold-call from a 'research centre'. When I emailed her about it, she addressed almost every question I raised. Except for the one about where this call came from. Anne knew full well that it came from Geneva (a call centre directly associated with the Conservatives) but failed to point this out at the time. She promised - and I quote - to "investigate and find out what this is all about".

I took her at her word. A month passed. I happened across the truth myself and started this weblog soon after.

And in the process of studying, investigating and publishing major aspects of the campaign literature sent to my home and the homes of other constituents, I discovered the following...

Anne Milton: The Deception of 'Success'

Anne Milton presents herself as a popular woman of action and the 'talk of the town'... but the best she can drum up by way of visible support is a rag-tag bunch of Tory activists, Tory councillors, wives of Tory councillors, relatives of Tory promoters (1, 2) and members of her campaign team. Granted, passing off campaign members as ordinary members of the public may not be a new trick and/or one exclusive to the Conservatives, but:

1. That everybody/anybody else does it does not make it any less of a deception.
2. Regardless of this, I urge you to look at the big, empty space behind this deception. Nothing succeeds like success, as the maxim goes... but Anne appears to have created her 'success' as a local campaigner out of thin air.

Anne Milton: The Empty Promises

She's all mouth and no trousers. This has been covered comprehensively in a previous post.

Anne Milton: The Racism

Anne likes to portray me as an angry young man, but there's really only one thing that made me truly angry about her campaign; the pamphlets that pandered to racism. Pamphlets with Anne Milton's smiling face all over them. These pamphlets played on people's fears in a way that is both offensive and irresponsible. This pattern continued with the Tories stirring up fear of disease and murder.

Anne Milton: The Mumbles

When confronted over the presence of activists in her pamphlets, the best Anne Milton could do was; (mutter) opaquely that it was possible to use a photograph inadvertently. When confronted about racist pamphlets only appearing in impoverished areas, she muttered some excuse regarding the Post Office!

1. The Post Office didn't write them.
2. The Post Office didn't deliver them.

This is just one small reason why I think Anne Milton will have some difficulty acting effectively as an MP. In Parliament, a record is taken of everything that is said and follow-ups are common. Mumbles just don't cut it.

Anne Milton: The Lie

However... there is one instance I know of where she has given a (more or less) direct answer to an awkward question. And it was a lie.

Anne Milton: The Conclusion

I wouldn't trust Anne Milton as far as I could throw her. I place no faith whatsoever in her abilities, her word, her promises, or her character. I had my doubts when I started this weblog, but did not form a firm opinion until I had been exposed to much of what you see above.

I'm far from impressed by the way Anne Milton has conducted herself during this campaign and have seen no evidence that proves her to be a viable alternative to Sue Doughty.

I'm hoping that some of my fellow constituents - when presented with the facts - will agree. I'm even hoping that some dyed-in-the-wool Conservatives will see sense on May 5th. After all, their best chance to get a stronger candidate next time is to reject Anne Milton this time.



One final outing

My, my, my... so many familiar and friendly faces!

Today at the short Conservative rally in Guildford High St, I saw three people from the now-infamous March pamphlet: Mike Chambers, Mandy Worrall, and Katherine Lyons (1, 2).

In this picture you can see Mandy and Katherine. I've blacked-out their eyes because - after offering to pose for a picture - Mandy realised who I was and insisted that I did not have permission to take photos of her. I've assumed that Katherine has similar objections to me taking photos of her. When there were half-a-dozen press photographers there doing exactly the same thing.

Mandy was a very nice lady. She insisted that I "should have my collar felt" and then - in front of an independent witness I would very interested in tracking down - accused me very loudly of "inciting people to undertake criminal acts."

I asked her exactly what she was referring to. Perhaps it was my suggestion that people put posters up in their own front yards. But she refused to talk to me any further following her accusation, so - if my witness comes forward - I may have to prompt her with a little legal action.

Anyway, I met three people from the now-infamous March pamphlet and...

No... wait... back up... better make that four. Because this chap was there, too. He was obviously part of the campaign team, as he spent a great deal of time placing our now-familiar 'average people on the street' at the front of the crowd. People like Mandy and Katherine. His name is Grant. And I know that because he also posed as 'your average man in the street' in this same pamphlet:

(So, running clockwise, that four people in a row who are directly connected to Anne's campaign. It's a pity there's only one day left, as I would have loved to have acquired the whole set.)

Grant is a downright friendly chap who really knows his job. He was even clever enough to 'accidentally' barge me and my camera out of the way as Anne Milton and Michael Howard made their way past. And Grant can't deny this because I have it - surprisingly enough - on camera.

That's not why this picture is so blurry, though. This picture is blurry because Anne didn't want me to shake Michael Howard's hand:

I did get to inform him that Anne was a dipstick, though.

I also talked - at some length - to a nice chap about what goes into this blog and what doesn't. He knows of at least one 'in the know' person that I talked to about a matter that I've covered here.... up to a certain limit. Now - hopefully - he should also know why I'm not repeating it here, because there *is* a limit. (And here I should point out, Everybody Else Who Isn't This Guy, that I'm not hinting at some great scandal. As I said; it's been covered.)

Back soon with a final post.

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Spotted in Bramley this morning:


Tuesday, May 03, 2005 

Michael Howard comes to town

A little bird tells me that Michael Howard will be patrolling Guildford High St from 10:30am Wednesday morning and pressing the sweet, supple flesh of local voters.

I've been tagged by Miltonites, and am unlikely to get anywhere near the man.

So, if it's not too much trouble, could someone please take the time to greet him nicely, shake him by the hand, and tell him in the politest way possible that Anne Milton is a dipstick? He's a busy man, and may not be aware.



Sunday, May 01, 2005 

Ooooh, get her!

The Times - Battle of the Guildford gals: It's a Tory-Lib Dem marginal and the top two candidates don't get along. Believe me, these babes hate each other. "Have you seen the website?" Doughty, who is defending the seat, had asked me gleefully over a plate of pate in the bland corporate dining area of the nearby Holiday Inn. Yes, I've seen it. Doughty is referring to a local blogger's site entitled Anne Milton: Nurse, Mother, Dipstick. An entire website dedicated to trashing - with spite, nastiness and some acuity - Milton's campaign to return Guildford to the Tory embrace which, these past four years apart, has held it tight for most of a century. Not the most cruel allegation on the site is that Milton resembles the popular entertainer Julian Clary. Worse, it is revealed that almost all of the local people photographed in Tory leaflets praising Milton are, actually, Conservative activists. "The picture of 'Andrew from Christchurch', for example, is in fact Andrew from Christchurch, the Tory deputy leader of the council," says Doughty, smothering a snigger. And the blogger has reproduced fairly risible leaflet pictures of Milton "taking action on the environment" (picking up some litter), "taking action on families" (talking to a lady with a pushchair), "taking action on immigration" (hitting a black person with a claw hammer). Actually, I made the last one up. There are no black people in Guildford, or almost none. To her credit, Milton takes it all in good heart, even if she suspects the Liberal Democrats of having some clandestine involvement (which they deny).

Clandestine? Try overt. There's Sue herself letting me know via a national newspaper about yet another ringer in this pamphlet (PDF). Damn it, she was supposed to deliver this message via coded entries in the *crossword*. Maybe if we keep quiet about it, no-one will notice.

Anyway, let's get to the meat of this article, which is the journalist (Rod Liddle) being just a *little* bit sexist. And a bigger bitch than he paints Sue or Anne to be in the process.

Get close to any hard-fought campaign and you'll see the same level of personal/emotional conflict; it doesn't matter if the candidates are male, female, or a little bit of both (insert needlessly cruel comment about the Conservative candidate's Adam's apple here).

Oh, go deeper into the article and you will happen across a 'nail on the head' moment. Sue Doughty is praised for being "a fine and principled politician with a pretty impressive CV from within the public and private sector."

While the best that can be said of Milton is that she's feisty and has the common touch. Arguably good qualities for winning votes, but not for doing the actual job. And substance is what it's about, folks.

So far, this blog has revealed racism, deception and outright lies at the heart of Anne Milton's campaign. And what is quite possibly a serious breach of electoral guidelines. In the space of about four weeks. One can only wonder what she'll get up to over the space of four years if given the opportunity to 'serve' as an MP.


About me

    Hi. I'm Tim. I live in Guildford. I've built a few political weblogs here and there. If you're wondering why I decided to start this particular blog, click here.


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