This entry was posted on
Sunday, December 15th, 2002 at
8:57 am and is filed
under Uncategorized.
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Date
20021215
Flash Games
Time
08:57
Here you are – go play in the snow.
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Date
20021216
Flash Games
Time
08:42
You might recognise this Santa as the drunk chap on the roof, now he appears to be ski-jumping while under the influence. Professionals may wish to note the placement of the ‘vote for this at Lycos’ link. Votes don’t push you up the table, BTW. Table ranking at Lycos is determined by the number of views.
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Date
20021216
Time
08:47
Bill Clinton is dating Demi Moore. Hang on, that can’t be true. Bill is married, isn’t he?
UPDATE – Bill’s attraction to Demi explained with a single image.
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Date
20021216
Time
08:55
3,000 luxury cars parked at the bottom of the English Channel. I’m assuming they went down to refuel.
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Date
20021216
Time
08:57
Lend a hand if you can: Operation Santa Claus
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Date
20021216
Riding High on Blogdex
Time
09:00
Google and its battle against evil. A fight worth fighting, but pity Sergey Brin, the poor man at the centre of it.
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Date
20021216
Time
09:02
A complete list of references to steenkin’ badges? We don’t need no complete list of references to steenkin’ badges!
(link via ultimateinsult.net)
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Date
20021216
Time
09:04
Hospital guard charged with stealing winning lottery ticket from corpse.
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Date
20021216
Time
09:06
Did the News Of The World set a ‘honey trap’ in an effort to pluck a strand of hair from Prince Harry’s head and therefore score a DNA sample? The cynic in me says no. In my mind, it’s far more likely that they’ve done this a number of times, and are actually after a ‘I shagged Harry/William’ story.
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Date
20021216
Time
09:10
Baby Jesus kidnapped. Ransom note demands $800 in small bills.
Heh. The note was signed by by “Me, him and the other kid who was really scared and didn’t want to take your baby Jesus and the whole time all he did was say stuff like you’re going to hell, this isn’t right, stop.”
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Date
20021216
Time
09:13
Genitals, genitals, genitals!
What Every Man Should Know Before Having a Vasectomy and How To Use a Penis and/or Vagina.
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Date
20021216
Time
09:16
Here’s the post celebrating Bloggerheads’ 1st birthday, just in case you missed it.
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Date
20021216
Photoshopping
Time
11:25
There have been many, many requests for the Simpsons, but I’d didn’t want to do the standard Homer/Bart thing.
Oh, I found this fantastic collection of customised Simpsons action figures on my travels. Well worth a look.
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Date
20021216
Time
15:36
The harassment of spam king Al Ralsky continues. Poor diddums. His mailbox is full of junk and now people are dropping by to look at his house. At least Ronald Scelson has had the good sense to keep quiet.
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Date
20021217
Time
07:39
If you live in the U.S. and purchased a CD (or CDs) between 1995 and 2000, please read on. Everybody else, there’s no money in it for you, just the knowledge of one (very small) victory:
Maryland, 41 other states and three territories sued the distributors Bertlesmann Music Group, Inc., EMI Music Distribution, Warner-Elektra-Atlantic Corporation, Sony Music Entertainment, Inc., and Universal Music Group, and the retailers Transworld Entertainment Corporation, and Tower Records and Musicland Stores Corporation for violating antitrust laws. Working collectively to rip you off, in other words.
The suit alleged that the defendant distributors and retailers illegally conspired with one another to fix prices at which CDs could be sold to consumers. The illegal conspiracies allegedly grew out of the practice in the recorded music industry known as Minimum Advertised Price, or M.A.P., in which the distributors would pay for retailer’s advertising in local media, provided the retailers did not advertise CDs at a sale price below a minimum established by the distributor.
The defendants deny the allegations in the suit – but for some strange reason, they’ve settled to the tune of $143 million.
In typical music biz fashion, a portion of this will be paid in free CDs, but over $65 million is earmarked for consumers.
Here’s a press release showing you it’s legit.
Here’s where you can claim your share.
Oh, the defendants ‘have agreed to stop engaging in practices that led to artificially high retail prices for CDs’. Even though they didn’t do anything wrong in the first place… *cough*
UPDATE – There’s a beautiful Fark Thread on this subject. Some paranoia, some cheering, and a lot of cynicism. Best comment to date comes from a Farker who writes:
“I want to have a settlement too. I will send any music company that files a claim $20 for any music that I may have illegally downloaded since 1995. This is not an admission of guilt, just an out of court settlement.”
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Date
20021217
Time
07:45
Oh, FFS: Feng Shui for web designers.
Does pissing myself laughing count as a water feature?
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Date
20021217
Time
07:47
Bishkek’s best brothel announced. You may recognise the image with this story… I used it as the source image for Hamsterdam.
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Date
20021217
Time
07:51
A beautiful story on the Fark effect.
Look at info on Six Steps to Spiritual Revival (a book by Pat Robertson – founder and chairman of the Christian Broadcasting Network) and you’ll note recommendations for books on anal sex and assisted suicide. Someone wishes he would fuck off and die, in other words. Like this person.
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Date
20021217
Time
07:57
Be warned: Max Headroom may return. Bring on the BlipVerts!
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Date
20021217
Time
08:06
The multi-car/ship pile-up in the English Channel continues. They ought to get a traffic cop down there.
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Date
20021217
Photoshopping
Time
09:43
“Sorry Princess, I don’t know what happened to your message to Obi-Wan. Maybe in got… lost in the mail.”
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Date
20021217
Time
11:10
BBC report on Al Ralsky. Thanks, Tony.
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Date
20021217
Photoshopping
Time
12:12
Here’s a sneaky-peek at the latest image – Young Frankenstein this time. We’re just about to head into the 6th page of the gallery.
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Date
20021218
Riding High on Blogdex
Time
08:30
This web-tailored multi-permission copyright notification system has received a pretty warm welcome. Perhaps it’s too early in the morning, but to me a it looks like a copyrighted version of copyright. I’ll probably stick with my old-fashioned ©, if that’s OK. It’s not just how people use my material, it’s who uses it that counts a lot as well. This being the case, I really would prefer that they got in touch and asked.
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Date
20021218
Time
08:34
Those cuddly Nigerians are at it again with a new scam involving counterfeit cheques. Read it in full, folks.
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Date
20021218
Flash Games
Time
08:39
Here’s a bunch of stick-figure games for you to enjoy. Mouse-control appears to be the key on these. Get clicking.
(link via ultimateinsult.net)
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Date
20021218
Time
08:42
After their baby died from pneumonia, Matthew and Rachel Hartnett figured they could do without monthly reminders of their tragic loss by mail, so asked Tesco to remove his name from their Baby and Toddler Club mailing list.
‘Fine,’ replied Tesco, ‘Just show us the death certificate and we’ll be happy to comply.’
Ed Rooney is alive and well and working for Tesco. Tell your friends. Actually, get a print-out first, then tell your friends… because they won’t believe this one without proof.
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Date
20021218
Time
08:50
Bestiality makes baby Jesus cry:
Man arrested for having sex with sheep in nativity scene.
What an idiot. He’s at least two months too late for the Turner prize.
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Date
20021218
Time
08:55
Santa has a weblog, and he sure is a grumpy old bastard.
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Date
20021218
Photoshopping
Time
08:56
I know this one is terribly obvious, but I slipped another little treat in for hardcore M*A*S*H fans on page 6 of the gallery. Enjoy.
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Date
20021218
Time
09:01
Pete Waterman and company seem to think that they’ve got the Christmas No. 1 wrapped up. Want to prove them wrong? Take action now.
What, are you still here? I said take action now!
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Date
20021219
Time
08:34
Tesco continue a week of PR disasters by giving their employees a £1 Christmas bonus. They only made 1.2 billion last year, so times are tough.
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Date
20021219
Time
08:39
Paul McCartney has switched the writing credit from ‘Lennon-McCartney’ to ‘Paul McCartney and John Lennon’ on his latest album and Yoko is pretty pissed about it.
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Date
20021219
Time
08:39
The Temple of the Vampire is a real church for heartless bloodsuckers. Insert Tesco joke here.
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Date
20021219
Time
08:51
The 50 Most Loathsome People in America. Quite interesting that Tony Blair made the list, don’t you think?
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Date
20021219
Time
08:53
Chirac tells French to drive like the British. How many people died driving on the wrong side of the road before folks realised he was making a broad comment about civility?
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Date
20021219
Time
08:55
He did say he’d be back: watch the trailer for Terminator 3.
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Date
20021219
Time
08:56
Here’s some wonderful online Christmas cards that you can send to friends. They even let you write your own text, so you can send a message of peace, love and bollocks to enemies as well.
(link via funjunkie.co.uk)
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Date
20021219
Time
09:02
The Onion still has that distinctive flavour:
Bill Of Rights Pared Down To A Manageable Six
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Date
20021219
Time
09:04
Man goes into coma and dies after eating two kilograms of baklava on a bet. He won the bet, BTW.
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Date
20021219
Time
09:05
440 guinea pigs destroy home. Hmm, while we’re on the subject on overwhelming infestation, perhaps now is a good time to calculate the Body Mass Index of your houseflies. (Thanks to The Ultimate Insult for that last link.)
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Date
20021219
Photoshopping
Time
09:11
Ed Rooney strikes!
On my travels, I found this incredibly comprehensive collection of highlights from Ferris Bueller’s Day Off. Oh, and this collection of observations from Star Wars: A New Hope is equally huge and well worth a loooong visit. There you go, that’s your lunch break sorted – for today and tomorrow.
UPDATE – After posting this on B3ta, I discovered that Jeffrey ‘Ed Rooney’ Jones was arrested last month on charges of using a minor for sex acts and possession of child pornography. Ass. Mine. Etc.
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Date
20021219
Time
09:42
Face of Jesus appears on ‘No Parking’ sign.
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Date
20021219
Photoshopping
Time
10:19
The Star Wars gallery is now up to its 7th page, and there’s a cracker of an image starting it off for readers from the UK. The latest version of the screensaver has this and 29 other images, ready to float around your screen while you nip outside for a fag. Enjoy.
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Date
20021219
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Date
20021219
Time
16:38
Nestle is demanding $6m in compensation from famine-stricken Ethiopia. Perhaps killing babies with breastmilk substitutes isn’t thinning out the third-world population quite as efficiently as they first thought.
Hmm, I’m looking for a word here that starts with C and ends with T, but can’t…
Can’t!
That’s it!
Nestle are a bunch of can’ts.
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Date
20021220
Time
08:29
The U.S. military is seeking ways to help their soldiers do without sleep. How about lying awake wondering if today is the day you’re going to die? No? OK, mind-altering drugs it is, then.
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Date
20021220
Time
08:32
The Japanese man who’s been stalking Britney Spears is an elite academic, is in his 40’s and still lives with his parents. It’s Comic Book Guy!
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Date
20021220
Time
08:36
Man sentenced to 12 years for throwing dog from 23rd-floor balcony. But dangling babies is OK?
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Date
20021220
Time
08:38
Corn-fed beef may soon be a thing of the past. These Black Angus steers do just fine on leftover chips, nachos, pretzels, popcorn and cheese curls, a meal that we’ll all become familiar with over the coming week of morning afters.
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Date
20021220
Time
08:42
The dumbest crimes of 2002.
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Date
20021220
Time
08:45
For fans of The I Can Eat Glass Project:
How to say ‘Oh my god! There’s an axe in my head,’ in 102 languages.
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Date
20021220
Time
08:48
Finally, some small profits boost hopes for the future of e-commerce.
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Date
20021220
Time
08:49
Prank victim eats bat-sandwich.
I’m sorry, but whenever I hear the words ‘bat-sandwich,’ I can’t help thinking of Adam West’s (alleged) comments to Burt Ward and collapsing into fits of giggles.
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Date
20021220
Photoshopping
Time
08:55
Today, Private Pyle meets Private Pyle. This short Kubrick Season continues with 2001 on Page 7 of the gallery.
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Date
20021220
Flash Games
Time
09:01
Ooh, they are quick:
See if you can park your ship in the English Channel without sinking too many tug boats.
While we’re on the subject of flash games and what not, I have about three-dozen Christmas-themed viral thingies stinking up my inbox. Do you guys want to see them, or does overkill ruin your seasonal goodwill?
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Date
20021221
Time
07:21
Damn, now I’m starting to have dreams about that bloody picture. I honestly don’t know where this will end.
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Date
20021222
Photoshopping
Time
09:19
The Mirror has won News Photograph of the Year for that picture. Editor Piers Morgan stepped down from the mount and up to the podium to ever-so-graciously give credit to creator Carl Baldwin, but the picture shouldn’t have been entered in the first place, and The Mirror certainly shouldn’t be accepting an award a picture they just took without asking and slapped onto the front page with their usual ‘hey, everything on the interwebnet is free’ arrogance. Is Carl Baldwin a member of staff? No. Is Carl Baldwin a regular freelancer for the paper? No. Was he paid for this front-page image? Well, he got a few inches of publicity the next day. No, in other words.
Will The Mirror rabbit on about how they won picture of the year without giving Carl any further mention? I suspect so.
Nice also that the 3am Girls won Showbusiness Reporter (what, are they all one person?) of the Year, especially as they’ve stolen not only some distinctive reporting techniques from Popbitch, but one hell of a lot of material as well.
Something’s got to be done about this. I’ll have a think about it when I’m done fuming.
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Date
20021223
Time
09:10
Remember the bat-sandwich? The kid behind it faces charges. Oh, and the bat was raw.
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Date
20021223
Riding High on Blogdex
Time
09:12
Erm, and Daypop:
Coffee, Tea, or Should We Feel Your Pregnant Wife’s Breasts Before Throwing You in a Cell at the Airport and Then Lying About Why We Put You There?
This closes with a great little quotable, but I won’t ruin it for you by repeating it here.
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Date
20021223
Time
09:16
I was reading the graphic novel Uncle Sam last night. It’s a great piece of work, but the earnest inclusion of this fake Lincoln quote ruined it a bit for me.
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Date
20021223
Time
09:20
A weighty but groovy article on copyright online that even spares a few words for fair use.
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Date
20021223
Flash Games
Time
09:21
How many girls can your perv on before getting busted by your girlfriend?
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Date
20021223
Time
09:22
Spam is killing off small ISPs. They’re collapsing under the weight of it.
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Date
20021223
Time
09:23
Lingerie Barbie is on the way. Still no joy when you strip the undies off, though. Perhaps there’s money to be made from little plastic merkins and paste-on peni…
Now wait a minute, that’s not a bad idea. Anybody here in the plastics industry?
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Date
20021223
Time
09:26
The U.S. government is bending over forwards for big business again. They’ve just blocked a global deal to provide cheap drugs to poor countries, following ‘intense lobbying of the White House by America’s pharmaceutical giants.’
Well, they can’t be expected to give it away now can they? Besides, they need to save most of the hard stuff for the military.
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Date
20021223
Time
09:30
Gay porn just got more dangerous; the 3D monitor is on its way.
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Date
20021223
Time
09:32
The bright sparks who force pop-ups into our lives no doubt think that making them more intrusive will improve their performance. Dickheads.
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Date
20021223
Time
09:35
Waytoomuchinformationaboutcaffeine!
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Date
20021224
Time
09:12
Police go undercover on nude beach. “Gosh Sarge, we’re in plain clothes but everyone still seems to know that we’re cops. Why is that?”
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Date
20021224
Time
09:14
Here’s a picture of the Lingerie Barbie we blogged yesterday.
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Date
20021224
Time
09:16
C’mon everybody, sing! What the world needs now…
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Date
20021224
Time
09:17
Weblogs influence the news. A Lott.
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Date
20021224
Time
09:18
Baby Jesus returned unharmed. The church has forgiven the kidnapper, who is now unlikely to face charges.
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Date
20021224
Time
09:20
Take a tour of Arlington, Massachusetts. It sucks, apparently.
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Date
20021224
Riding High on Blogdex
Time
09:21
The death of Joe Strummer: 1, 2, 3, 4, and a tribute board.
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Date
20021224
Time
09:26
Jakob Nielsen’s Top Ten Web-Design Mistakes of 2002.
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Date
20021224
Time
09:27
Buying or selling a flight manual on ebay? Be prepared to be hassled by the feds.
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Date
20021224
Time
09:30
15-year-old lesbian sues over locker room ban.
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Date
20021224
Time
09:59
I was reading Joe Sacco’s classic Palestine last night. It’s worth reading in the current political climate. This popular Shin Bet joke is begging to be shared, too:
A CIA agent, a KGB agent, and a Shin Bet agent are walking by the woods. They see a rabbit running into the trees. The CIA agent dashes after it, and returns with the rabbit in less than 10 minutes. The KGB agent thinks he can do better, so they release the rabbit and the KGB agent gives chase. He returns triumphant in less than 5 minutes. The Shin Bet agent thinks he can do better, so the rabbit is released again. The Shin Bet agent disappears into the trees, but nothing is heard from him for 5 minutes. Then 10. Then 20. A full half-hour passes, and the two remaining agents decide to go and look for their friend.
They move cautiously into the trees, and begin to search the forest for the Shin Bet agent. They search and search.
Suddenly, they hear someone yelling and screaming, and run toward the sound with guns drawn. They enter a clearing to see the Shin Bet agent with a donkey that is tied to a tree. The Shin Bet agent is punching the donkey in the face again and again and screaming in its ear: “Admit you’re the rabbit! Admit you’re the rabbit!”
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Date
20021224
Time
12:13
The Corporations That Supplied Iraq’s Weapons Program. You are highly unlikely to see this list in an American newspaper.
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Date
20021224
Time
12:15
The Sheboygan Art Museum offers much more than first appears.
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Date
20021224
Time
12:52
OK, that’s about it from me until Friday. You still have time to buy me something nice, but rest assured that I’ll be spending tomorrow celebrating the birth of our saviour and the next day regretting the creation of a hangover. Here’s a swag of Christmassy viral mechanisms to keep you busy in the meantime:
Send a rancidass ecard, hunt a turkey, have a snowball fight, watch an offensive video, throw more snowballs, this time at celebrities, enjoy even more snow, go ski-jumping with Santa, help him to collect presents, listen to some Santa banter, then send an anonymous Christmas kiss.
Should be enough to keep you busy.
Make sure you cook that turkey properly, and don’t drive if you’ve been drinking.
Best singing voices at the ready people…
Happy birthday to you,
Happy birthday to you,
Happy birthday dear Jeeeeeeeesus,
Happy birthday to you!
Any many morrrrrrrrrre…
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Date
20021227
Time
09:17
This is the first time I’ve really stopped in close to two years, and I’m beginning to enjoy it. I do believe I’m going to take a few more days off, just because I can. See you soon.
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Date
20021229
Time
13:02
Still on a break, but kind of busy getting my ducks in a row. I’ve started by letting on that one of them has been sneaking slugs on the side.
