Hey, it’s not my fault that this is news

Posted by Tim Ireland at April 30, 2008

Category: The Political Weblog Movement

This entry was posted on
Wednesday, April 30th, 2008
11:35 am and is filed
under The Political Weblog Movement.

Well, maybe it is a bit.. but only to the extent that in some small way I may have contributed to a festive, carefree air on the evening of 16 April

Independent – Pandora: Blogger ‘Guido Fawkes’ is led off to the Tower: (Guido Fawkes)… the famously thirsty troublemaker, real name Paul Staines, was up before the beak at Tower Bridge Magistrates Court last Thursday. He admitted driving while under the influence and without insurance after being stopped by the Plod in the small hours of 17 April, driving his wife’s Volkswagen fast and swerving across lanes in south London. He was breathalysed and found to be almost twice the legal limit. Asked by District Judge Timothy Stone whether he had an alcohol problem, Staines said: “Possibly.” Sentencing is on 15 May. It is his fourth alcohol-related offence and second drink-driving reprimand – he was banned for 12 months in 2002 – requiring the judge to consider a jail sentence.

I’m declaring a zinger competition in a vain effort to jump on board this bandwagon or witch hunt or piffling trifle whatever he plans on calling it before swiftly jumping off again. Then we’ll crack on. Promise.

I’ll start a sequential list here. We can argue and vote later:

Unity: “Do they have internet access in Wormwood Scrubs?”
Justin McKeating: “What’s the libertarian argument for driving whilst uninsured and over the legal limit for alcohol?”
Tim Ireland: “Would it help if I turned up as a character witness?”
Bob Piper: “Not only will the judge be considering a custodial sentence… but Gordon Brown has intervened to freeze his wages.”
Professor Paul: “That explains his visitor figures. He sees everything double all the time!
OneHourAhead: “For the story in the Independent go here, for schadenfreude go here, here, here or here, for no comment go here or here.”


  1. Paul.Ferrari says

    I loved Bob's comment on his Blog about recommending a good lawyer !Drunk and without insurance – I think he's just lost any moral high-ground that he was squatting on.

  2. Manic says

    Yes, but I'm censoring all shower-related jokes. I'm in a Liberal Nazi mood today.:o)

  3. jailhouselawyer says

    I thank Bob for the recommendation, however, axe-murdering scumbags have morals and as such I would have to decline any advances made towards me by Guido Fawkes/Paul Staines.I have advocated that the magistrates should lock him up and throw away the key. I am in a merciful mood given that capital punishment has been abolished.

  4. Professor Paul says

    That explains his visitor figures.He sees everything double all the time!

  5. Manic says

    Professor Paul: LOL!JHL: Technically not a zinger, but I'm loving it anyway…http://prisonersvoice.blogspot.com/2008/04/lock-h

  6. Professor Paul says

    I keep thinking Father Ted….I think we know which of these is Guido,& I favour Iain Dale for Father Dougal;who might the others be?

  7. Tom says

    I must say, on the occasion I met him he was sinking the stuff by the yard, mind you so was I. Close too, I can report, he's got the symptoms of a hard life behind a glass written all over him, so this news is hardly surprising. At least he doesn't appear to have hit anyone.

  8. Manic says

    Professor Paul: I'm more of an On The Buses man meself:https://www.bloggerheads.com/images/iain_dale_blak…(Hat tips to JHL, Justin and Unity.)… but Nadine Dorries simply must play Mrs Doyle or I'm off the project.Tom: Thanks to the intervention of the police, Paul got home in one piece, too.

  9. An Englishman's says

    How I nearly got sent to the Tower…

    Blogger 'Guido Fawkes' is led off to the Tower – Pandora, Columnists – The Independent "I had been speaking at the Adam Smith Institute," Guido explains. "They have made a lot of money so the booze is usually pretty…

  10. Bartholomew says

    http://www.libertarian.co.uk/news/nr058.htmNEWS RELEASE FROM THE LIBERTARIAN ALLIANCEIn Association with the Libertarian InternationalRelease Date: Sunday 9th December 2007Release Time: ImmediateSCRAP ALL DRINK DRIVING LAWS", SAYS FREE MARKET AND CIVIL LIBERTIES THINK TANKThe Libertarian Alliance, the radical free market and civil liberties think tank and pressure group, today calls on the British Government to repeal all laws against drinking and driving. Drivers should be free to drink as much alcohol as they like before and while driving. The Police should be allowed to intervene only if a driver appears from his actions to be a danger to other road users, or if he causes an accident…

  11. Paul.Ferrari says

    That Blakey image is brilliant !I can just imagine him … "I hate you Ireland, I hate you"

  12. Professor Paul says

    Check out this linkhttp://www.flickr.com/photos/donmimi83/1467685831/I think you’ll enjoy it.

  13. Manic says

    Bartholomew: Well, that answers Justin's question. Can't say I'm impressed, though:"It should be possible for a person to drink a bottle of whisky, get into a car and drive away – and the authorities should have no power to stop this."That's not a sensible approach at all in my view.

  14. Unity says

    >>> … but Nadine Dorries simply must play Mrs Doyle or I'm off the project.You will ban abortions… You will. You will. You will. You will. You will. You will. You will. You will. You will. You will. You will. You will. You will. You will. You will. You will. You will. You will. You will. You will. You will. YOU WILL!!!

  15. Manic says


  16. Professor Paul says

    Guido's on the Ollie Reed diet.He's already lost three days.

  17. QT says

    If, as the report says, he was "driving…fast and swerving across lanes", then even under the Libertarian Alliance's suggested laws he would have been stopped.

  18. Professor Paul says

    Actually,you have to wonder if,bearing in mind the banner ad at the top of Iain Dale's b(l)og,if Guido is his best customer?Maybe that's why Dale (allegedly)gets so many hits;Guido placing a repeat order!

  19. Manic says

    Hahahahaha! I take it you're referring to the 'wine at 2.67 a bottle from Laithwaites' promotion…http://www.yceml.net/0608/10404448-14.gif… one of many Commission Junction ads presently running on MessageSpace.

  20. Professor Paul says

    I was mulling this over this evening.Iain Dale is always banging on about his latest penis extension,sorry,I meant to say car. He's a self confessed petrolhead.Paul Staines has acknowledged a love for the falling down water ,he is in fact a reverse messiah,turning wine into water .A self confessed pisshead.So here's how we make a shedload of cash from these two,without fraudulent claims about how popular their blogs are supposed to be.We stick the pair of them in a car together,& they go off around France or America,exploring how good the booze is,while Dale can occasionally bang on about cars.It's a really original idea,a boozehound driving around with a car nut,looking for free drink.Should make us a mint.What,you mean the BBC already did it?Bugger.

  21. Scaryduck says

    "Then I was giving a few people a lift to Victoria station when the fuckers pulled me over"I trust the ladies and gentlemen at the Yard will be taking this into account next time he asks a favour of them…

  22. irritant says

    The Libertarian Alliance is calling itself a think tank these days…Jesus Fucking Christ.It's about time I made one up for myself.

  23. poons says

    @irritant – I have a think tank – I call it a cistern. The "ideas" I come up with are generally inline with those of most think tanks, and when I leave the "meeting" they end up in the right place.@manic – I find it disgusting that you are kicking Paul when he is down. You should at least have the decency to throw a few punches to the head.Let me start

  24. poons says

    Let me startbad url sorry

  25. poons says

    FFS – okay no html then<a>start"&gt <a href="http://;http://www.youtube.com/watch?jkz12OslGhU>startTim,” target=”_blank”>;http://www.youtube.com/watch?jkz12OslGhU>startTim, feel free to tidy this up into one comment – you comment nazi you

  26. Manic says

    Hahahahaha!No, let's leave it as it is as a lesson to newcomers.:o)No HTML in comments, but if you post a URL on its lonesome it will generate a link automatically. Like so:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jkz12OslGhUAnd I should point out that Paul does not drink-drive with his kids in the car.No, wait… strike that. Let's be precise about this:To the best of my knowledge, Paul Staines has not been caught drink-driving with his kids in the car.

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