Nadine Dorries seeks iron-clad ‘humanzee’ guarantee

Posted by Tim Ireland at October 23, 2008

Category: Christ...

This entry was posted on
Thursday, October 23rd, 2008
4:44 pm and is filed
under Christ….

Do take the time to read this excellent post by Unity…

Unity – The Prevention of Unicorns Act

… but not before gazing in wonder at this passage that is on the record in Hansard:

Nadine Dorries (Mid Bedfordshire, Conservative) | Hansard source

That makes my point even more coherently for me. Perhaps we need to legislate to ensure that this activity cannot happen even in pursuance of a licence. I cannot believe that anybody in this House believes that inserting human sperm into an animal would be a good thing to do, so why do we not clearly state in the Bill that it will not be allowed to happen? This argument is not a surprise to the Government, because it has been pointed out over and over again that the Bill would allow this activity to take place in the seeking of a licence. One has to ask why they have not addressed the issue.

This is a sinister matter, because of the connotations. It is impossible to discuss insemination of animals with human gametes for very long without considering the infamous Soviet hybridisation trials of the 1920s. There are a huge number of historians on the Conservative Benches–I do not know how many there are on the Labour Benches–and one of the great pleasures for me, since becoming an MP, has been listening to some of those amazing and learned historians. I am sure that they will forgive me if I get anything wrong in the following paragraph.

At that time, the Soviet authorities were struggling to rebuild Stalin’s red army after it had suffered many deaths and huge defeats. Stalin told his top scientist, Ilya lvanov, to turn his skills to breeding an ultimate soldier by crossing human beings with apes. Stalin told him to breed a soldier who would not be fussy about what he ate, who did not feel pain and who was invincible. Stalin told Ivanov to use all his scientific knowledge and know-how to cross apes with humans and breed that soldier for him.

Many people in this House might think that it is ridiculous my even mentioning what Stalin did in the 1920s, but his ideas found credence among many in the scientific community and even became quite popular among evolutionary biologists in America; as my hon. Friend Mr. Cash said, the idea that perhaps we could cross humans with apes and thus have almost a humanzee took root.

And now, because I fear that you still won’t believe me, here is video footage of Dorries in the Commons; watch as this drivel drips from her lips, down her chin and onto her bib:

Nadine Dorries isn’t your average, garden-variety idiot; she’s a danger to herself and the community at large.

(Oh, and the rigged poll conducted and published by the ‘politically neutral’ magazine Total Politics ranked her site as one of the top blogs by an MP and 34th overall when it doesn’t even qualify as a blog. Her close and personal friend Iain Dale made the rules and counted the votes, so if you have any doubts about that result, go and ask him about it instead of simply staring at your computer screen in disbelief.)


  1. BenSix says

    Sorry to get all spambot on your comments section, but I've noted that Nadine's smears are getting…weirder..…She claimed that "some of the media" had dubbed Evan Harris "Dr Death". Her problem was that only one article on the whole wide web had mentioned that nickname, and only to comment that politicians had used it. Interestingly, Nadine may have been the source…Ben

  2. Manic says

    Ta for that, Ben. You spamming bastard.

  3. BenSix says

    I'll get me (wonderful, Blue Harbour leather) coat (from Marks and Spencer, at a discount price).

  4. Amelium says

    LTLFTP…Anyway, you know the reason he's called Dr Death is nothing to do with his stance on abortion or anything of the sort? It was a joke back in the day amongst Oxford Lib Dems that patients that he saw when he was a medical doctor often later died.No more truth in it than any other joking nick name, but it seems as ever Nadine's overheard something and made 2+2=5.

  5. Manic says

    Thanks for taking the time to register and tell us that, Amelium.Thanks (properly) to you too, Ben.Working on a special review of Nadine's talents at the mo… I'm sure you'll enjoy it.

  6. Justin says

    In the words of Bart Simpson: 'God, schmod! I want my monkeyman!'

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