The bone in my dick

Posted by Tim Ireland at May 18, 2011

Category: Christ..., Tories! Tories! Tories!

This entry was posted on
Wednesday, May 18th, 2011
10:46 am and is filed
under Christ…, Tories! Tories! Tories!.

No names, but at about the time I was passing through one of a series of lessons in sex education, we had a teacher with a conservative outlook who not only choked on simple words associated with the act of sex, but also had an annoying habit of not-quite-answering one question before swiftly moving on to the next; just as his answer got to the tricky part with the ‘dirty’ bits, he would trail off and then pretend to be distracted by another child with their hand raised, only to half-answer their query and so on.

One day, the girls departed for a gender-specific film and associated lesson on topics that are easy enough to guess at, and the boys were left unsupervised, with a generic film about hygiene to serve as the only distraction.

Collusion was afoot. When the teacher returned to check up on us at the end of the film, he was faced with a question he was not expecting:

Student #1: “Mr _____, do you have a bone in your dick?”

‘Teacher’: “Oh! Erm, the PENIS, I think you will find, has absolutely no bones, but rather a mass of… erm.. erectile tissue that… when engorg…* (to Student #2) yes, you had a question?”

Student #2: “Then why is mine hard right now?”

All Students: (laughter)

‘Teacher’: (exits)

That’s how we mucked up in my day, by the way. Totally rock’n’roll. I was lucky I turned my life around before I ended up on the streets. Anyway, the point is; some mockery from boys attending ex education class may arise from their frustration with the prudishness of the teacher, and possibly the curriculum.

I can’t pretend this applies in every instance, obviously. It would be wrong of me to do this based on a single anecdote populated by unnamed people.

[Boys! You may not have a bone in your penis, but lots of mammals do. An erection in humans is the result of blood pumping into two cylindrical sponge-like regions running along its length. And riding on buses.]


  1. Bugrit says

    My most vivid sex ed memory was the look of horror on everyone's face when we got showed the footage of the birth. Was absolutely hilarious.

    Coincidentally, I now find that thoroughly arousing.

  2. Carl Eve says

    Riding on buses? Upstairs or downstairs? (also, does that mean bus drivers have permanent erections?)

    Leaning against a washing machine on "spin" has the same effect.

    So does a porn movie, but that's probably one everyone knows about.

  3. Evil Fred says

    Apparently humans who do a lot of riding (of horses, just to clarify that) wind up with deposits of calcium in the thighs which amount to additional bones. It is entirely possible that someone who had a lot (an awful lot) of sexual activity might wind up with deposits of calcium in their penis. A real boner.

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