Archive for the ‘Consume!’ Category

Posted by Tim Ireland at September 29, 2008

Category: Consume!

Hi gang!

It looks like Google Images has dipped in for a second helping over at the B3ta boards (click here for background) so it’ll probably be a few weeks yet before we see any relevant results for ‘julie moult’ in Google Images.

Therefore, (a) for now I’ll just have to settle for being the top text result for her name almost everywhere, and (b) there’s no point putting off the first round of prizes any longer.

Well, maybe a *bit* longer.


There’ll be a general prize-giving from the prize shelf next Monday afternoon (the latest thinking is to just let winners just choose an item off the shelf, neatly side-stepping any random draw nonsense), PLUS, on the same day I’ll be giving away a free ticket to my upcoming SEO seminar.

Details to follow.

Posted by Tim Ireland at September 23, 2008

Category: Consume!, George W. Bush, The War on Stupid

Independent – Bush launches $700bn rescue plan and confesses he didn’t realise how severe problems were

Justin sees another parallel here.

Applaud* the artist here.

(*Save something for Tinkerbell.)

(Oh, and for Dog’s sake, stop playing with your pocket change.)

[Image not stolen. Used with permission. I don’t normally need to point that out, but a certain someone fresh from a rough afternoon should be on his umpteenth unit and *this* close to kicking the cat by now and I feel like rubbing his nose in it, just to set him off. Because I loathe cats. And because that’s what leading bloggers do. Apparently.]

Posted by Tim Ireland at September 23, 2008

Category: Consume!

Never Trust a Hippy – A declaration – draft 1: I thought it would be asking you – my readers – to help me compose a certificate that could be sent out to every Thatcherite and right-wing libertarian that you have contact details for….

To be read in full over coffee… but not too near the screen, especially if you’re going to stray into comments.

Speaking of which, allow me to draw your attention not only to that post, but also to this response from that champion of truth and justice, Paul de Laire Staines:

Guido Fawkes said

A re-draft:

“Greed — for lack of a better word — is good.

Greed is right.

Greed works.

Greed clarifies, cuts through, and captures the essence of the evolutionary spirit.

Greed, in all of its forms — greed for life, for money, for love, knowledge — has marked the upward surge of mankind.”

1. As usual, there’s not an original thought in the man’s head.

2. But at least the ‘city boy’ shirt mystery has been cleared up; Staines wears part of this 80s-era uniform almost everywhere for the same reason that children wear Superman* outfits.

(*Batman outfits are OK for grown-ups. Kevlar is a useful and practical material, especially in these stabby times.)

3. Not that we should expect anything less than a deceptive narrative from a man who’s made crafting these his raison d’etre, but greed for money is not the same as lust for life. Unless of course we are talking about circumstances in which your enjoyment of life can lead to someone having less of it… or none of it.

[Psst! That Staines is one of Britain’s most shameless hypocrites is not news, but just for the record; OMG, the thieving tosspot doesn’t like people stealing ‘his’ stuff.]

Posted by Tim Ireland at September 12, 2008

Category: Consume!

Andrew of SumoLounge was kind enough to send me one of his products, the Omni chair, and I’m happy to oblige with a review.

Now, I should make it clear from the outset that bean-bags aren’t for everyone, and they can be temperamental and sometimes downright vindictive. I was thrown by one, once. Honest.

Five stitches to the chin, and I still bear the scars. It completely ruined an otherwise spectacular leap from the storage chest.

So this time I played it safe and let the kids face the danger.

Incidentally, they’re not too impressed with the colour (Pitch Black) because they’re still children. But I chose that colour (Pitch Black), for the very same reason.

(Don’t ask if we would have them eat from a trough. You wouldn’t like the answer.)

Right! Onto the testing floor we go:

Tester #1:

“The beanbag is brilliant. It has plenty of room and is tough wearing. It would probably be better in some brighter colours, and be available in smaller sizes. If it was available for a cheaper price then I would buy it.”

Yes, I know that the chair comes in many colours that are much brighter than black. But don’t let on.

Tester #2:

“The beanbag is soft, comfy but a bit on the large side and it gets in the way a lot. At times it is quite stiff, but overall it is a very nice and comfy bean bag and I would happily buy this beanbag from a shop.”

Putting young consumer aspirations aside…

Yes, it is big. You’d need to reserve an armchair-sized hole for one or have a place to store it if you didn’t want it complicating your every journey across the living room.

Tester #3:

“I think the bean-bag is comfy. The size is great, it fits four people on it. The colour is too dark. I think it will look better in another colour.”

Tch. Kids. What do they know? Black goes with anything.

Yes, it fits four people on it. Four little people, some of whom will be spilling over the edges. Still plenty big, though.


The nylon cover is tough and, I would add, easy to clean.

It’s big and comfy, with plenty of room for most adults.

Because of its shape, there are corners to be negotiated, but a rounder product, the SumoSac, is available.

Here, it’s mostly used as a lounge station for morning or afternoon television, or as a flexible body platform during gameplay.

Please note that it *will* take up space. Because it is big. It’s not a weighty item, which makes it easy to move about, but if there isn’t a place where it can sit in standby mode, then you will need a place to store it, or you will forever be moving it about.

(And it hasn’t made its move against me yet, but I know that it’s only a matter of time.)

Posted by Tim Ireland at August 28, 2008

Category: Consume!

I wish I’d mentioned this sooner so more of you could’ve experienced the half-hour I just enjoyed:

The Wrong Door on BBC3 is like hanging around the, but on telly. I chuckled and gasped and guffawed all the way through tonight’s episode.

It’s. Awesome.

Ben Wheatley has produced something that I would rank up there with The League of Gentlemen, and I don’t say that lightly.

(“Hey! Hey! hey! Look! … No, loooook! Look there! There! … It’s my finger! Ahahahahahahaha!”)

Posted by Tim Ireland at August 27, 2008

Category: Consume!, The Political Weblog Movement, Updates

A new post from Justin. I invite you to admire it.

My brand new Prize Shelf. Ditto.

Yay, prizes!

Posted by Tim Ireland at August 11, 2008

Category: Consume!

This is not a special offer. It is retarded.


Let’s face it folks; the recession’s here.

Posted by Tim Ireland at July 30, 2008

Category: Consume!

Justin is now blogging about Nuclear Power for Greenpeace.

You might want to take a wee step back and seek some cover. (Over the horizon and into a lead-lined fridge should do it.)

Posted by Tim Ireland at July 28, 2008

Category: Consume!

Another pleasant surprise for your eyes, courtesy of one of London’s leading tart carders.

I didn’t have a camera on me when I spotted this one, and so had to pocket it for later reference. My apologies if the fold mars the otherwise happy finish:

Posted by Tim Ireland at June 5, 2008

Category: Consume!

This just in… Belinda Carlisle is a pre-op transsexual. Apparently.

Belinda Carlisle tart-card

Hey, there’s an easy win for Boris… cleaning up the tart cards! Just imagine the defiant last-ditch party that would provoke.


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