16-30 April, 2003

Posted by Tim Ireland at April 16, 2003

Category: Uncategorized

This entry was posted on
Wednesday, April 16th, 2003
at
9:03 am and is filed
under Uncategorized.

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Date
20030416

Time
09:03
This sneering, woefully incorrect article by a Murdoch flunky makes me so angry I could spit. Andrew Bolt is an asshat who needs to get off his high horse and pick up one of these instead.

To answer his question – I’m still here and I still think that this war was wrong.

(Why am I using the past tense like Andrew the ‘it’s all over’ Asshat?)

Is wrong. To use an analogy even Andrew can understand, the U.S. has acted like a corrupt cop. I don’t care if they catch the criminal (which they haven’t) or finally find the evidence (which they haven’t) the methods they have used are illegal and completely without justification.

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Date
20030416
Riding High on Blogdex
Time
09:18
Saddam Starred in Gay Porn Films!

Or at least, one of the 1,562,342 people who look like him did. I’m sorry, this is a very amusing story, but can only be confirmed if somebody was around to take a DNA sample from the money shot.

(Oh, and that video of Britney Spears giving multiple blowjobs is real, too. It looks just like her, dontcha know?)

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Date
20030416

Time
09:24
Match the penis to the blogger (not suitable for young’uns) or gaze at natural formations that look like tits, bums and willies (not suitable for geologists of a sensitive nature).

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Date
20030416

Time
09:29
Shoplifting suspect bolts, leaves baby daughter in store.

“She’s a beautiful little girl,” said store manager Lauren Hensley, who sounds like one of those scary ladies that end up wanting to keep the sproglet.

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Date
20030416

Time
09:34
Remember 8march2003.com?

It was designed to plug a novel.

Mine’s doing fine, by the way. I’m actually looking for a few names for minor characters right now. Drop me a line if you want your name to be in the book.

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Date
20030416

Time
09:38
Did CNN Turn Up The Boos During Michael Moore’s Speech? Some evidence here for you to consider. You might also wish to take their past record into account.

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Date
20030416
Flash Games
Time
09:43
Gasteroids is pretty much what you would expect from the name. I too shoot follow-through pellets that can shatter an asteroid.

(Link via FunJunkie)

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Date
20030416

Time
09:46
Nude retiree arrested while mowing lawn. For being nude, or for mowing the lawn?

Also doing the rounds is the sixth-grader arrested for stomping in a puddle and this fine Looney Tunes moment.

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Date
20030416
Photoshopping
Time
12:12
Jon Crowley piped up with some excellent suggestions for The Star Wars Photoshopping Project. One was for the Beatles.

This was the only way to fit everybody in.

Big’un is over at B3ta.

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Date
20030416
Civil Disobedience
Time
12:16
I’ve got to stop leaving Out of Order signs around the house. Our 5-year-old son just labelled the TV.

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Date
20030416
Updates
Time
16:20
Headwindow has been added to the ‘follow me’ list. In case you haven’t worked it out yet, these are the few sites that I visit every single day. It is a great honour to be included in this list, and in return for such linkage I expect nothing less than daily amusement and regular blood sacrifices.

Can Weblogs Go To Washington? and the accompanying article Why Politicians Need Weblogs have also gone live. These are mostly static versions of material blogged yesterday and the day before, so try not to get too excited about it.

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Date
20030416

Time
16:38
Ahahahahahahahahaha!

Quite possibly the best pub in the world.

Dammit, I was just in Dorset, too… how did I miss this?



(This fine site was made by a B3tan. I missed its debut while I was out shagging badgers.)

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Date
20030416

Time
16:55
Another article about Tom Watson’s site. This one focuses on the ‘teens’ page and how a Guardian journalist completely missed the point (hey, not all of them are up on the Interwebnet, you know).

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Date
20030417

Time
09:47
Sorry I’m late. An evil stomach bug has hit this house like a bomb. It’s a nasty little bugger that takes you right into the dry heaves as your stomach tries to turn inside urge purging the fucker. We were up until 3am dealing with one sproglet, and woke to find another dealing with it. One more kid to go, and we’re next.

So, remind me again why it’s a good idea to breed?

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Date
20030417

Time
09:51
Doc Searls wants us all to work on the recovery of stolen Iraqi art treasures. I saw a question relating to this during the 40 minutes I wasted at inaugural ‘Ask the White House’ online discussion last night. (Hmm, come to think of it, the vomiting started soon after this…)

I love that the British Museum has offered to help. Perhaps they can start by returning the stolen Iraqi art treasures in their possession.

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Date
20030417

Time
09:59
I must admit to being quite impressed on the first view of the new Honda Accord ad (there’s a mirror of it here if you find that site a bit slow). As a ‘made for TV ad that gone viral,’ this is probably going to do as well as the John West commercial, but it does worry me how ready people are to believe that it was all done in one take (it took 606 takes, dontcha know?) and no camera trickery or cgi flim-flammery was involved.

While we’re on the subject of healthy cynicism, quite a few people are excited about Moby submitting to The Mirror Project, but that looks like a Photoshopped effort to me. The line at the bottom of the mirror is a little hazy for my liking, and those lens flares appear to exist for no other reason but to mask a sin or two.

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Date
20030417

Time
10:10
Well fuck me if it’s not illegal to swear in Chicago. Feel free to let fly, though. You stand very little chance of getting arrested. Unless, of course, you walk around calling Bush a c…

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Date
20030417

Time
10:15
Coming soon to the Fox network: When Toys Attack II

Teenager blinded by spud gun

Girl killed by model plane

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Date
20030417
Does What What It Says On The Tin
Time
10:18
showmeyourwound.com has to be the world’s greatest pick-up line.

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Date
20030417

Time
10:21
Burglar showers and tidies up a bit before leaving. He also left his his dirty jeans behind, and $51.65 in cash. The strawberries on the kitchen table were an especially nice touch.

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Date
20030417

Time
10:24
Doctors present at rescue of Private Jessica question accuracy of official account. A staged operation and shameless myth-building from the US military? Never!

(Oh, time to remind ourselves again just how many joyful Iraqis were actually present at the toppling of Saddam’s statue.)

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Date
20030417

Time
10:29
43 Bridgewater-Raynham Regional High School students have been busted drinking and smoking drugs. 13 have been suspended, the rest were grassed up to their parents. A concerned parent saw images of the foul and totally out of character deeds on a website, and forwarded the details to school officials.

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Date
20030417
Jesus Week II
Time
10:37
We had a special ‘Jesus Week’ last Easter to carry folks over the holiday break. I’ll be doing the same again this Easter, so feel free to submit any juicy Jebus goodness you think should be included.

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Date
20030417
Photoshopping
Time
13:18
More joy from The Star Wars Photoshopping Project (the 11th page is filling out nicely).

As usual, a big’un is being shown off at B3ta.

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Date
20030418

Time
09:14
Here, this’ll keep you busy for a while. Watch the 1979 film ‘Jesus’ (all two hours of it) via the web, courtesy of The Jesus Film Project. This wonderful example of Christian propaganda is available in over 800 languages, but these lazy buggers have only managed to suck up the bandwidth with 54 online versions. Somebody should write a letter.

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Date
20030418

Time
09:23
Tip for Christian rock bands: try not to fucking swear during interviews.

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Date
20030418

Time
09:24
God helps those who help themselves: Christians for the cloning of Jesus.

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Date
20030418

Time
09:28
Theresa Rector is yodeling for Jesus. After several failed marriages and years of alcohol and drug abuse, the Holy Spirit spoke to Theresa and through ‘prophetic dreams and visions’ helped here to write the landmark song: I Wanna Yodel for the LORD!

More songs followed, and you can now download samples of such great works as Hallelulollalululujah Praise The Lord and I’m Gonna Yodel My Way To Heaven in MP3 format and/or buy the full inspirational collection on cassette or CD.

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Date
20030418

Time
09:38
Was Jesus and astronaut? Close. He was and is an evil shape-shifting alien out to dominate the world. Think happy thoughts.

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Date
20030418

Time
09:41
Man makes joke website asking What Would Jesus Drive?

Idea is hijacked by anti-SUV brigade.

Official site is launched as campaign grows.

Next logical step?

The ‘What Would Jesus Drive?’ weblog.

It’s all a bit worrying, and no-one seems to have come up with a definitive answer, but we can confirm that God Drives a Galaxy.

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Date
20030418

Time
09:52
Yay! It’s The Biblical Action Figures Collection!

Sorry kids, they don’t transform. No weapons, either. But each figure does come with its own background play scenery (i.e. a piece of printed cardboard) and can actually help you on the way to spiritual enlightenment (if you inhale the fumes as you melt one over a slow flame).

I love the domain name of this site. Says it all, really.

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Date
20030418

Time
10:05
Are you addicted to chocolate, or addicted to Jesus?

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Date
20030418
Jesus Week II
Time
10:09


A modest collection of links to keep you going over the Easter break. If anything else turns up, I may drop by to blog that, too.

But don’t count on it.

May Jebus bless you and may your holiday break be as cold and empty as a hollow chocolate egg.

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Date
20030418

Time
10:26
This just in: Romanian Priests Suspended For Blessing Brothels.

Oh, and can anyone explain why so many people are interested in Mustard Man today? Is there a religious connection? I’m dying to know.

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Date
20030421

Time
18:42
That stomach bug that hit us last Thursday is truly, truly evil. After going through two of our kids, it seemed to pass by the third – and us. Or so we thought.

Sunday night. There is a short discussion as the boys go to bed about the state of their room. There is a large pile of books, toys and clothes in the corner that is the result of their last few attempts to ‘tidy’ their room. They’re not too happy about the prospect of cleaning up properly on Monday, but that’s the plan, so they’re warned to get used to the idea.

About four hours after lights out, our eldest calls out for help and is suddenly and quite copiously sick. All over the aforementioned pile. His position in the top bunk helped considerably with the distance and coverage required for such a feat.

I don’t know if I’ve mentioned this before, but I’m your classic empathetic upchucker. All I have to do is see, smell, and/or hear someone doing it I’m vomiting along in full colour harmony. This means that I usually end up doing most of the cleaning, as it’s only by this late stage that I can detach myself enough to get on with the job.

Problem being, the missus was similarly struck down less than ten minutes after this spectacular hurling event.

It was not a pleasant evening/morning. It didn’t help that, while on the kitchen floor systematically cleaning a pile of sheets, clothes, toys and books, I felt the aggressive tummy grumbles signifying I was next – and soon.

I managed to get through most of the pile (including all of the 38 books, over a dozen of which were library books and therefore not quite as disposable as others) before succumbing to the inevitable at about 1am.

I managed to snatch some sleep here and there, but without the in-laws help with two of our sprogs, I don’t know how we could possibly have made the house liveable by this evening. We did, though. A sunny day went largely to waste, but it did help the enormous pile of washing along.

Time to collapse now. I may be late (again) tomorrow. Consider yourself warned.

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Date
20030422

Time
09:50
The Bush regime has a lot to learn about symbolism and timing. (How many flags did you count that were ‘hastily removed’?)

Trailer outlets of Pizza Hut and Burger King have been set up in Iraq to service troops.

“I would prefer we got decent showers and toilets sorted out first,” muttered one high-ranking officer.

Some food, water and medicine for the locals wouldn’t go astray, either.

The fun continues with plans to build a pipeline to siphon oil from newly conquered Iraq to Israel.

It’s hard to believe that anybody could be so arrogant, but there it is.

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Date
20030422

Time
09:56
‘The sugar industry in the US is threatening to bring the World Health Organisation to its knees by demanding that Congress end its funding unless the WHO scraps guidelines on healthy eating.’

10% is not enough, it seems. The sugar-sellers think that up to a quarter of our food could and should contain sugar, saying that:

“Taxpayers’ dollars should not be used to support misguided, non-science-based reports which do not add to the health and well-being of Americans, much less the rest of the world…”

Riiiight…

I’m pretty sure they can get the support of a few dental care lobbyists.

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Date
20030422

Time
10:03
Office workers will give away passwords for a cheap pen. A repeat of last year’s survey/experiment saw the overall number of cubicle monkeys willing to give away their primary password rise from 65% to 90%.

The most common password is still ‘password.’

Doesn’t surprise me at all.

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Date
20030422

Time
10:09
Soon to be a major survival-against-the-odds article in Reader’s Digest:

Officer rescues two swimmers from gator-infested lake. Lots of detail to this story, but I won’t ruin it for you. Go click.

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Date
20030422

Time
10:13
Reporter reports on sloppy reporting that has made him famous. Reportedly.

Seems he quoted a man by the name of Heywood Jablome.

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Date
20030422

Time
10:18
Under cover of war, Mugabe unleashes a new reign of terror.

Coalition actions in Iraq also lend new credence to his favourite claim, that Britain (and now the U.S.) are trying to ‘recolonise’ Zimbabwe.

Just one little symptom for you to ponder on. This is far from over, folks…

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Date
20030422
Headlines of Glory
Time
10:22
Charges Dropped In Scrotum Biting Case

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Date
20030422
Easter Roundup
Time
10:25
Staff at chocolate store have ‘a passionate philosophical debate’ over whether to put a chocolate Jesus on the shelf.

Store supervisor and ‘practicing Christian’ Liz Samuel was quoted as saying: “I just don’t think that you should eat anything that’s Jesus.”

Has she not heard of communion, then?

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Date
20030422

Time
10:32
Yes, I’m participating in TV Turnoff Week.

Yesterday was easy. Do you have any idea how many shows and ads contain food?

While we’re on the subject, subscribers to cable/satellite TV should consider the following:

You are paying for these channels, but you still have to put up with advertising – and not just the usual 30 second slots, but now increased calls for you to push the little red button before, after and during programmes.

Would you put up with this kind of behaviour from a website?

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Date
20030422

Time
10:41
Checking my email this morning I found 52 (52!) independent unsolictied emails touting the Iraqi ‘Most-Wanted’ Deck of Playing Cards. Fucking spammers.

Oh, I also found one ‘get well’ e-card. Somebody cares…

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Date
20030423

Time
09:15
Anti-war MP George Galloway was in Saddam’s pay says pro-war paper after journalist finds box of ‘secret’ documents. Left conveniently in an orange box with the word ‘Britain’ clearly written on it. In a room of other documents that had been deliberately burned beyond recognition. Pardon my cynicism.

George Galloway is planning legal action against the rag in question, but he’s sure to be given a burger with the works before he gets a chance. Meanwhile everybody is free to repeat the claims that are so damaging to the credibility of the anti-war movement. (Sounds to me like there’s another war coming. I’d better watch my back.)

Given that so many people still believe in the ‘truth’ of Jessica’s rescue and the ‘thousands’ of joyful Iraqis present at the statue toppling, I’m left wondering if, even if this is exposed as an outright lie, how many people will continue to believe in it.

UPDATE – Sorry, missed one from The Guardian: Documents prompt more questions than answers

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Date
20030423

Time
09:35
Interesting that Eminem has a body double:

Will the real Hussein plase stand up? (requires Flash)

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Date
20030423

Time
09:38
Student suspected of stealing 854 pairs of panties. Sounds like a loser to me. I mean honestly, where’s the prank value in that? Give me students who glue school doors shut any day.

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Date
20030423

Time
09:41
Only funny if you’re a Lego geek: Meet the 3-year-old Lego purist.

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Date
20030423
Does What It Says On The Tin
Time
09:44
www.toiletmuseum.com

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Date
20030423

Time
09:46
I’ve been wondering about this kind of thing myself lately… plenty of blogs die a welcome death, but what happens when a blogger dies and leaves an active blog behind?

Hmmm.

OK, so who wants to be named as Blog Successor in my Last Will and Testament?

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Date
20030423

Time
09:53
An excellent report on spam, where it comes from, and how to avoid it.

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Date
20030423

Time
09:56
A microbiologist has warned that the SARS virus ‘appears to be becoming more virulent, attacking the intestines as well as the respiratory system.’

My advice? Take shallow breaths.

Oh, and diseased or not, it still pays to avoid rampaging monkeys.

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Date
20030423
Free Music
Time
10:10
Nothing beats a little retrotech:

Floppyswop: ‘a place for sharing any files small enough to fit on a conventional floppy disc.’

Oh, the BBC is happy to play you a few free tracks, but you have to work for each one.

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Date
20030423
Headlines of Glory
Time
10:12
Overweight bears slim down after seizure in marijuana raid

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Date
20030423

Time
10:15
Children held at Camp Xray, US admits.

Held without trial, held without rights, held under a made-up term that conveniently bypasses international law and the Geneva Convention. Remind me again what constitutes an evil regime?

UPDATE – On reflection, you’re right. They deserve it. We’ve all seen the evidence, right? It was right there on the tee-vee. I remember watching the second plane smash into the WTC and thinking; “Tch! Typical! Bloody kids!!” Let’s just grab a few chainsaws and be done with it.

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Date
20030424
Riding High on Blogdex
Time
09:02
Riding high? Bloody hell, it owns the zone, with positions 1-10 for a variety of references. Movable Type has launched a new user-friendly version hosted on their servers called Typepad.

Here’s the press release from the parent company, Sixapart and here’s the article in The Guardian that let me know about this before I even turned on my computer.

No dotcom goldrush pie-in-the-sky bullshit about it, either. It’s a good service offered for a small monthly fee.

Oh, there’s no word yet on the clearance procedures from the folks at senate.gov – but I’ll call and hassle them again later today.

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Date
20030424

Time
09:03
More anti-social bear behaviour: Bears Destroy Hotel Doors, Eat Floor

Yes, you read that correctly. They ate the floor.

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Date
20030424

Time
09:06
The Onion continues its return to glory: New Fox Reality Show To Determine Ruler Of Iraq.

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Date
20030424

Time
09:09
The Safetype keyboard has to be seen to be believed (as the blurb goes) but it isn’t as revolutionary or as useful as you might think. It’s completely unsuitable for one-handed use, and therefore of no use to 80% of teenage web users.

Hmm, best make that 100%. Of all web users.

Oh, don’t look at me like that… I know what you people get up to.

What… me? No, never.

Seriously, never.

(Well, maybe occasionally. After all, there’s no telly this week.)

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Date
20030424
Yet Another Lame Quiz
Time
09:13
What Monty Python Character are you?

It’s not the first, and it won’t be the last. Quizzes are pretty old hat by now, but the MASH quiz still pulls over 3,000 new users a month after a year or more of service.

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Date
20030424

Time
09:20
His & Her Hummers launch to cheers and jeers. The perfect ultra-consumable to express the macho appeal of war and gratitude for all that extra oil. Optional extras for men include a mini-fridge, bald eagle art, stars and stripes floor mats and ‘Honk If You Love America’ stickers.

For the record, in most parts of Australia a ‘hummer’ is a blowjob.

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Date
20030424

Time
09:26
Painting of deceased tiger scares live tigers at San Francisco Zoo. Pussies. Now this is scary.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030424

Time
09:29
The non-existant time-travelling inside trader has skipped town. Police are questioning the Easter Bunny.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030424

Time
09:40
US Customs officials confiscate large painting from journalist returning from Iraq.

”He didn’t think it was a big deal,” an official said of the journalist. ”He said all the embedded reporters were doing it.”

Wonderful, isn’t it?

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030424
Photoshopping
Time
15:05
I’m going to be off and out for most of tomorrow (meetings, meetings, meetings), but I do have this small amount of joy for you.

We finish off Page 11 of The Star Wars Photoshopping Project with the following:

“Luke, trust me – it’s best if you don’t know what’s coming…”

(Big’un is being shown off at B3ta.)

Enjoy your weekend. I shall try to post before Monday if anything exciting happens.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030424

Time
16:58
Mark has written in with the following quotes, courtesy of the over-funded BBC:

Jack Straw says that finding weapons of mass distraction was not the justification for military action.

Geoff Hoon says: “We certainly will find weapons of mass destruction – that was the primary reason for invading Iraq and bringing down the regime.”

No, it’s not a case of crossed wires, it’s just that Geoff hasn’t received the latest memo on WMD back-pedalling, that’s all.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030426
OK, So I’m a Lego Geek
Time
00:11
A long day today/yesterday, but I’m still going to make time to head off to this Lego festival near Stoke-on-Trent. It’s an early start and a long drive, but I’m sure it’ll be worth it. If you’re in the neighbourhood and plan on attending, I’ll be the guy with bloodshot eyes wearing one of these.

BTW, Tom Watson’s site appears to be down after a massive hammering this afternoon. We’ll need to move the site to a beefier and more reliable server sometime next week by the looks of things.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030428

Time
09:05
1 Pixel Per Metre is quite a simple idea, elegantly done. It’s more or less a straightforward comparison of scale along the top rows (Eiffel Tower, Empire State Building, King Kong, Stay Puft Marshmallow Man, etc.), but scroll down for extended geekiness.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030428

Time
09:08
Here’s your chance to play dress-up with a Catholic high school girl.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030428
It’s War! And Somebody’s Going To Pay!
Time
09:29
Praise be to The Memory Hole.

First of all, because I can’t remember if I’ve blogged it or not, let’s take a look at the shoddy Photoshopping job done by the Evening Standard, meant to convince us that there really was a happy crowd of thousands at the toppling of Saddam’s statue.

Today they have images of US forces making captive Iraqi men walk naked through a park in direct violation of the Geneva Convention. Apparently the men are thieves and the technique will be used again to help discourage looting, but MH quite rightly asks if this technique will be used on US troops in Iraq that helped themselves to $13.1m in cash.

Tch! The troops should be aware that they are there to do a job, and all looting by the US has to go through appropriate channels.

From The Independent on Sunday: Intelligence agencies accuse Bush and Blair of distorting and fabricating evidence in rush to war.

A different angle on more or less the same story from ABC news: the real reason for the war was ‘a global show of American power and democracy’ after the butt-kicking that was 911.

“We were not lying,” said one official. “But it was just a matter of emphasis.”

Tell it to the judge, pal.

Finally, just as more and more people are asking Where are the WMDs? (they were the main justification for war, if you remember – before it suddenly turned to regime change to try and embarrass us bleeding-heat liberals into backing this shitfight) the Telegraph comes to the rescue with ‘proof’ that Saddam worked with bin Laden. The source of this ‘proof’ is yet another remarkably unscathed box of documents helpfully left out for curious journalists.

The truth will out – but not before Bush and his buddies have made off with most of Iraq’s wealth.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030428

Time
09:30
Please note that if you’re a regular reader of the Times, Telegraph or Sun newspapers, then you have no need of this website.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030428

Time
09:35
Boston Marathon runners like to urinate on lawns. The residents along the route are less than happy about it.

They should do what the posh property owners along the route of the Sydney City To Surf do; invite some friends around for a lawn party to gawk at the antics of the unwashed masses, and keep at least one garden hose primed and ready for emergencies.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030428

Time
09:41
Enjoy 12 dumb comic book covers.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030428

Time
09:43
Baltimore residents go nuts as Travolta hits town. One witness claimed to have seen a woman get her name signed by the star and head straight for the nearest tattoo parlour to have it made permanent.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030428

Time
09:46
Beer bottle top promotion goes tits-up and sparks near-riot in Nairobi. Everybody is a winner, it seems.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030428
Headlines of Glory
Time
09:47
Pet elephant kills politician

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030428

Time
09:50
This should keep – and your cursor – busy for about 30 seconds.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030428
OK, So I’m a Lego Geek
Time
09:54
The Brickish Association Annual LEGO Festival and General Meeting on Saturday was well worth driving 182 miles for.

I turned up out of the blue after hearing about the event on Friday afternoon, and signed up to be a brickie pretty much as soon as I walked through the door.

I met a lot of like-minded (yet surprisingly normal) individuals, and saw a number of very, very impressive models.

My eldest son came along for the ride and was equally impressed. A quirky floorbot had his attention for most of the afternoon, and the chap who built it was kind enough to send me links to a number of resource pages – 1, 2, 3 – so we can (maybe) have a crack at building one for ourselves. Thanks Phil.

The one model that really caught my eye was Rhys Knight’s Colonial Viper (from the ever-crappy made-for-TV extravaganza that was Battlestar Galactica).

I took this picture, but there are many more for you to drool over here.

Now I’ve built some Lego in the past, but meeting with these guys has really inspired me to lift my game.

I’ll try not to bore you folks with it too much, but I will be spending a lot of time on the sitting room floor over the next month or so.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030428

Time
11:09
From the soon-to-be-defunct Innovations catalogue comes this breakthrough in breast examination.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030428

Time
13:35
I broke the television boycott a day early to watch this documentary on dodgy drug testing and shameless price-fixing last night. (Here’s the best collection of linkage for those who missed it.) During our 3-hour drive up north on Saturday, my 7-year-old son asked me – out of the blue, mind you – for examples of ‘evil’ corporations. I didn’t mention Pfizer then, but I certainly will next time.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030429
It’s War! And Somebody’s Going To Pay!
Time
09:14
Admiral Sir Michael Boyce, this government’s most senior military adviser, has warned that UK forces will need at least 18 months to ‘draw breath’ before another major war. Now why do you think he feels such a warning is necessary?

In other news, Iraqi civilians are preparing a complaint accusing allied commander Gen. Tommy Franks and other U.S. military officials of war crimes in Iraq.

Also, Jordan (the Arab nation, not the busty b-celebrity) again has warned the US against supporting Iraqi opposition figure Ahmad Chalabi (promoted by some in Washington as a possible political leader) saying he lacks credibility and support among Iraqis and is a convicted fraud.

Finally, here’s a very long Fark thread about yesterday’s ‘proof’ of links between Saddam and Al Qaeda. Yes, there’s a link. They hate each other’s guts.

Still plenty to be angry about, people – and the war ain’t over yet.

Take note and take action.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030429

Time
09:18
The Ultimate Insult has had another makeover. By sheer coincidence, Scott has chosen the very same layout that Tom was considering before we stumbled across this excellent design.

BTW, another MP steps up to the bat soon – so I’m going to need another designer that knows their way around MT. (I want to hire locally on this one, as there’s going to be a fair amount of back and forth.)

Emails to the usual address.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030429

Time
09:24
Batmobile sells for $170,000.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030429

Time
09:27
Reflections on the 25th Anniversary of Spam. According to the author, the first spam was sent May 3, 1978 – 25 years ago this Saturday.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030429

Time
09:31
Whitey has just emailed me regarding yesterday’s post about scumbag pharmaceutical giants. He’s sent me this article about a massive vitamin and nutritional supplement recall in Australia. An audit of Pan Pharmaceuticals found that they were ‘risking lives by releasing products despite failing to test raw ingredients, or fudging the results of tests.’

The audit began after one of Pan’s products, Travelcalm, was recalled in January. A faulty batch of the product, designed to relieve travel sickness, made many people sick and reportedly had a hallucinatory effect on others. The result? Crazed people trying to jump of planes, boats, you name it.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030429
Headlines of Glory
Time
09:41
Porno overload leaves Japanese jerkers drained dry and Deputies skeptical about family’s tale that cat shot teen.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030429

Time
09:43
I’m sure if you watched the news last night you would have seen the footage of the brave ‘teen’ who repeatedly ran into a burning building to save a bunch of youngsters. He’s not a teen. He’s 22. Some fucknuckle in authority saw the footage too, and recognised him as the subject of an outstanding warrant. He was gaoled on Monday for violating probation.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030429

Time
09:55
Two on the subject of novels and blogs: a report on tip-jar revenue from a ‘free’ novel and the writer who has stopped blogging so he can get on with his novel. Now there’s an idea.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030429

Time
09:58
Madonna has released a number of ‘dummy’ files onto KaZaA in an attempt to curb free swapping of songs from her ‘American Life’ album. The files look like full-length files, but when you download them you only get a snippet of track followed by a recording of Madonna saying ‘What the fuck do you think you’re doing?’.

The inevitable result is The Madonna Remix Project, where you can download sampled dance remixes of this immortal phrase.

It’s times like this I really miss being a DJ.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030429

Time
10:18
I still get a kick out of crossing the language barrier. It’s the whole viral/blog Raging Cow thing this time. Link’s at the bottom of the page. Babelfish awaits if you wish to read the article in Franglais.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030429

Time
10:51
All Londoners and intelligent beings are advised to watch this space.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030429
Riding High on Blogdex
Time
14:32
*sigh*

Well, I suppose if I must. The Apple ads and the Itunes music store pretty much own the zone today, so they deserve at least a passing mention. The next big hit is sure to be the Bush Regime Playing Cards, brought to you by uggabugga, busybusybusy, and the Department of Inevitability.

Now I’m waiting for 152 spams trying to sell me this new must-have new deck…

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030429

Time
17:06
I need a large number of empty shoeboxes for an off-the-cuff installation piece. If anybody can help, please do drop me a line.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030429

Time
17:33
I found an excellent blow-by-blow account and article describing how weblogs can engage that wonderful effect so eloquently described in Malcolm Gladwell’s Tipping Point. It closes with something that most people miss – you not only reach a wide weblog audience in this way, you also reach a much wider audience via Google, due to the pronounced effect our conversations have on rank.

The sad thing is, most folks in marketing will read this and still miss the point.

(Link found via Countersink, which is sure to have my attention over the coming weeks. It’s a new blog, so not all navigation can be trusted at this early stage. Watch your step.)

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030429

Time
21:58
Bloggage may be late tomorrow, as we have at least one feverish kid – and I’m planning on bringing together some resources for May Day.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030430
May Day 2003
Time
11:04

Why Will I Be Marching On May Day?

I’ll be marching because I have been born into a privileged life, with a great amount of talent, and until recently have pissed this up against the wall helping others to sell tat.

The anti-globalisation movement is largely misrepresented in the media (I’m sure you can guess why), so what little hope there is lies in grass roots action and communication.

Tomorrow, I will be using my skills to help spread an important message or two to the public at large. It’s time to get my hands dirty.

What Action Will I Be Taking On May Day?

Incriminating ‘Evidence’

In reaction to several very timely and convenient discoveries by the Daily Telegraph (and this quite excellent story), I will be planting the following forged document in shoeboxes across the city, including the Canary Wharf district.

You can click here to download a copy of this letter for distribution in your area if you think this is a fun idea.

Masks

I have no intention of getting involved with so-called extremists, but I have noticed that the police often try to intimidate crowds by deliberately and visibly videotaping and photographing faces. These are then supplied to tabloids and broadsheets for trial by media. This year, we all have a fantastic reason to wear a mask – the threat of exposure to SARS – so I will be distributing paper surgical masks to anybody who wants one.

You can walk down to your local pharmacy and buy a box of these yourself if you wish to help stop disease/intimidation.

Out Of Order Signs

Signage as used at the 2nd London Peace March will be distributed in prime locations to recruit yet more armchair activists. I will also be distributing a large number of Out Of Order stickers to anybody who wishes to contribute to the project.

You can read more about The Out Of Order Project by clicking here if you want to bring your small corner of the world to a grinding halt.

Why Should You Get Involved On May Day?

I’ve really got about a hundred reasons myself, but here’s 15 to get you started.

You can read more, and find out what action is being taken in your neck of the woods, by clicking here.

(Don’t be scared off by the paranoid and extreme chappies. You have to keep in mind that they do this kind of thing a lot more than you and I, and are feeling pretty jaded by experiences such as this.)

Come along, be counted, stay cool, and bring plenty of drinking water.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030430
It’s SARS! And We’re All Going To Die!
Time
14:40
You want to hear something really scary? Every single pharmacy in my area has sold out of surgical face-masks and can’t get any more from the manufacturers.

Remember Foot & Mouth? The reason we didn’t (finally) vaccinate was because there wasn’t enough vaccine to do even one-tenth of the animals at risk.

These are the same people that are telling us that they have the SARS situation in hand…

Anyways, I finally hit paydirt with General Medical in Aldershot and picked up 200 or so masks in all. (No, I haven’t robbed the population of vital protection – I chose the rattiest, most useless masks available.)

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030430

Time
16:09
Read a copy of the May Day email sent from police to central London businesses. Why, I wonder, do they advise folks to watch SKY news and not the BBC?

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030430

Time
17:30
May Day protesters will face ‘penning in’ tactics.

What? Again? They barely got away with it last time (even with the skewed coverage, this year to be supplied by SKY News).

During the penning-in of May 2001, all publicly accessible traffic cams in and around the area were conveniently out of order. I managed to find two private ones facing the square and watched the whole sorry state of affairs. The patience of those hemmed in by the police amazed me. Another reason I’ve gone from heckling these people to joining them.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030430

Time
17:49
Most of the shoeboxes are done. You may note that they are all slightly different in size, so they more or less fit inside each other to make two manageable and easy-to-carry collections.

About 1500 Out Of Order stickers have also been printed up, ready to go.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030430

Time
23:33
OK, I’m geared up and ready to roll. Time for bed.

Obviously there will be no bloggage tomorrow, but you can keep up with the news via this simple search at Google News and get an activist’s perspective on media coverage by monitoring this thread over at Urban75.

Preaching will stop and fun will continue on Friday. Assuming, of course, that I don’t get arrested.

(Don’t worry. My parents read this blog. I just threw that in to freak them out…)








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