This entry was posted on
Friday, August 1st, 2003 at
9:12 am and is filed
under Uncategorized.
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Date
20030801
Time
09:12
Government-commissioned report reveals how terrorists can best destroy Australia. This may seem like a shoot-yourself-in-foot moment, but the report does not detail any plans to halt the beer supply, and as such appears to be deliberately flawed.
UPDATE – This information is soooo sensitive, the newspaper wasn’t allowed to include the URL or the authors’ name. Too bad a direct quote from the report allowed me to find it in about 30 seconds.
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Date
20030801
Time
09:16
Behold Seyed, the religious prophet of many (domain) names.
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Date
20030801
Time
09:17
Six injured in freak milk-separating machine accident at Freeborn County Fair.
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Date
20030801
Time
09:18
He left court ‘without a stain on his character’ according to the judge, but you and I know that mud sticks and whispers will continue. Watch John Leslie’s statement after the decision. It looked and felt genuine to me. Give that man a weblog!
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Date
20030801
Does What It Says On The Tin
Time
09:20
Scott woke up one morning wondering what would happen if he wore a nametag everyday. See the drama and intrigue unfold at www.hellomynameisscott.com (via Ultimate Insult).
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Date
20030801
Anyone but George
Time
09:23
Dubya discusses top priorities for the U.S. You may want to read the immediate reaction to this:
“I believe in the sanctity of marriage. I believe a marriage is between a man and a woman. And I think we ought to codify that one way or the other. And we’ve got lawyers looking at the best way to do that.”
At times like this, you really have to ask yourself if there can be an effective separation of church and state when there’s a religious zealot in office. Especially when he seems to be adopting strategic stances to win votes from certain religious communities.
Also, Charlotte sent the following link in this morning:
The Emperor Has No Flight Suit!
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Date
20030801
Time
09:38
Wired: The Case for Terrorism Futures
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Date
20030801
Time
09:41
Vandal wears high-heels to disguise getaway footprints. Too bad he was spotted wearing the heels and police found an abandoned pair of tennis shoes at the scene of the crime.
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Date
20030801
Time
09:44
Sex with stranger costs $37,500
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Date
20030801
Christianity Watch
Time
09:45
Over Three Hundred Proofs of God’s Existence. Well, that’s me told, then.
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Date
20030801
Time
09:47
I hate when I have an idea, don’t act on it, and then see it (poorly) executed by somebody else.
I wanted my evil fortune cookies to be produced for real (instead of on a website with two Amazon affiliate links). I contacted the three major producers of fortune cookies in the UK, and all of them turned the idea down as wholly inappropriate.
Bummer.
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Date
20030801
Tony Blair’s Email
Time
09:57
You may have noticed that – after months of campaigning – I pretty much backed off on the whole Tony Blair email thing when war broke out. I had what I considered to be a pretty solid promise of delivery, and it was pretty obvious that they weren’t about to launch it at a time when the system was likely to be immediately overloaded.
Now, however, we have the promised delivery date of ‘during August,’ and guess what? It’s August! I’ll be watching matters very closely. They have 31 days.
You people have seen me cut loose before. It’s not pretty. Here’s hoping for the best.
UPDATE – Like it or not, it looks like Alastair Campbell is headed for the chop. To nominate me as his replacement, get in touch with Tony’s communications dept. the old-fashioned way or send them a message via this email-to-facsimile address.
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Date
20030801
The Political Weblog Movement
Time
10:15
David Weinberger is now ‘Senior Internet Advisor’ for Howard Dean. Well done, you. Here’s hoping we see more posts from the man himself as a result. (Link magically discovered via Technorati, which revealed this post at Das E-Business Weblog.)
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Date
20030801
Can Weblogs…?
Time
12:46
Can Weblogs Go To Washington? was the question we asked. The main drive was to get a blogging facility requested and installed at senate.gov but, as Steve has kindly informed us, Senate minority leader Tom Daschle planning to start a blog regardless of this current lack of publishing format.
Can weblogs go to Washington? Ladies and gentlemen, they have officially arrived, and the very first post can be found here.
We still want Movable Type or a bloody good equivalent installed at senate.gov, though – and you can still help to make that happen – but it looks like I’ll need another Can Weblogs…? project soon.
Currently I’m toying with the idea of getting JPEG Baby to the top of the charts.
It’s Friday. Send feedback.
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Date
20030801
Photoshopping
Time
16:01
The Guardian is having a design your own sculpture for Trafalgar Square’s fourth plinth competition thingy.
If I can’t have George Orwell, I want one of these. (Click here for a larger version.)
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Date
20030802
Time
07:45
Ronald (Ronnie) Scelson is in the news again, defending the indefensible.
And lo, Ronnie did see ISPs filtering known spam, and did crawl out from under his rock and proclaim:
“There’s no right for them to decide and destroy what belongs to you. Whether you want it or not is your decision, not the carriers.”
Reach out and touch the man. You know you want to.
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Date
20030804
Time
08:58
Jesus used Marijuana? No wonder he was so good at the old ‘loaves and fishes’ trick. They didn’t have 7-11s in them days.
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Date
20030804
Follow Up
Time
09:00
That chap who stole a bus, took it on its normal route and collected passengers and fares has been at it again.
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Date
20030804
Flash Thingies
Time
09:04
Keep your parents off the Internet! Scott’s right… it is slightly amusing.
I had an interesting moment with my Mum yesterday, when calling Australia about this and that. I wanted to show her that cool search result for ‘love song’… and please keep in mind that this was moments after her comment that she sometimes find content at Bloggerheads disturbing.
“Ah yes, but we’re doing good things, Mother. Pop along to Google…”
“Yes…”
“Enter the search query ‘love song’…”
“OK, here come the results..”
“Do you see it there at number 4?”
“Oh yes, ‘JPEG Baby’…. what is that?”
“You mean you haven’t heard ‘JPEG Baby’ yet?”
“No.”
“OKseeyouMumloveyoubye.”
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Date
20030804
Time
09:13
Read a discussion about religion prompted by a link to the Universal Church of the Interactive Network.
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Date
20030804
Riding High on Blogdex
Time
09:15
Did Bob Hope ever say anything funny? You’ll find the range of comments about this piece and its author far more interesting than the article itself.
Also, the preview release launch of TypePad today has most people’s attention.
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Date
20030804
Time
09:18
Meg Ryan to star in violent, sexually explicit thriller. I hope it’s not too violent; skinny actresses of a certain age have a tendency to snap like dry kindling.
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Date
20030804
Photoshopping
Time
09:21
Fark theme: Photoshop President Bush snickering.
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Date
20030804
The Political Weblog Movement
Time
09:24
Following this announcement we hear news that Howard Dean is to drive his ‘grass roots’ campaign via television advertising. Please note the addition of inverted commas, now made necessary by the use of mass communication.
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Date
20030804
Time
09:34
HangingDay: Five predictions about the David Kelly enquiry.
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Date
20030804
Anyone but George
Time
09:35
Less than half of US would vote to return Bush to White House: poll Yes, but less than half got him into the White House in the first place.
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Date
20030804
Funny, That…
Time
09:37
Senator fuming over gay marriage order. Says Rome should have more respect for America’s long-held separation of church and state.
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Date
20030804
Time
09:40
Boulder librarians deleting user databases to protest the Patriot Act.
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Date
20030804
Viral Marketing
Time
09:43
Justin Kirby edges dangerously close to the truth about viral marketing. Still no mention of the SEO factor, though – and he really shouldn’t have mentioned Fark or B3ta. Now they’ll be inundated with commercial crap for the next three weeks running.
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Date
20030804
Time
09:48
John Leslie – Should he have been given anonymity?
I picked up a stray copy of the Daily Mail on Saturday. Always a mistake. They went straight for the man’s jugular, with 8 pages dedicated to exposing his evil nature. My favourite informed/expert opinion started with: “I never met John Leslie, but I certainly know his type…”
UPDATE – And here’s a picture, boys and girls…
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Date
20030804
Time
10:51
Hoon under fire as holiday clashes with Kelly funeral. Tony Blair will also be out of the country on the day (sunning himself in lovely Barbados). According to some papers, Janice Kelly has said that neither of them would be welcome anyway, but the government still feels it necessary to send a reliable stand-in for this sensitive occasion – John Prescott.
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Date
20030804
Time
13:08
Just a little Google-juice for smelly water.
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Date
20030804
A Blog Is Born
Time
15:27
Scott from The Ultimate Insult is on the ball. Introducing the weblog of Austin Mitchell (Labour MP for Grimsby).
1. Here’s a growing list of people who care.
2. I could have sworn his name was Austin Haddock.
3. Austin has always been somewhat of an individual, so I’ll do my best to deal with the eyeball-tearing colour scheme.
4. The link to this from his static site points us to a non-existant index.htm file. Somebody may wish to update this link so it directs us to the index.php file or – to keep things simple – http://www.austinmitchell.org/
5. I looked and looked and looked, but couldn’t find any way to email Austin and congratulate him. Oh well. Back to the static site we go for the necessary contact information (and a quick perv on his staff).
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Date
20030805
Christianity Watch
Time
08:56
Cardinal denounces same-sex headline. He doesn’t say what’s wrong with it, he just denounces it. I think perhaps the suggestion is that the Vatican’s recent statement on same-sex marriages isn’t anti-gay, it’s pro-hetero – and shame on you for not knowing the difference. I tell you, this Catholic-bashing getting way out of hand.
Speaking of which:
Smart investing and Catholic values? Now you can have both!
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Date
20030805
Time
09:04
Hanging Day dares to ask: Has Private Eye gone establishment? Tissues and tears all round.
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Date
20030805
Time
09:05
Tiny Tim: The Musical. It’s got puppets! Woo!
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Date
20030805
Time
09:06
Inventor develops electronic glove to translate sign language into speech.
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Date
20030805
Does What It Says On The Tin
Time
09:07
www.freethegnomes.com
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Date
20030805
Search Engine Optimisation
Time
09:09
Google has introduced a new advanced search feature that allows users to search not only for a particular keyword, but also for its synonyms. I’ll have a poke around with that later today.
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Date
20030805
Time
09:11
Why are Liberian soldiers wearing fright wigs? Cross-dressing combatants are a fun distraction, but these kids are drugged out of their minds and running around willy-nilly with live ammunition. And we feel compelled to stand by on the sidelines because we’ve already had one war this year.
Cheery news for a Tuesday, huh? Here, some images of nuclear explosions will help jolly you up.
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Date
20030805
Riding High on Blogdex
Time
09:16
How to install Windows XP in 5 hours or less.
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Date
20030805
Time
09:17
Right-wing bloggers follow ’10 best’ list with ’10 worst figures in history’ list. Bill Clinton manages third place. Jane Fonda and Michael Moore get ‘honourable mentions.’
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Date
20030805
Only Interesting to Bloggers
Time
09:20
RSS: Dave Winer vs. the alternative developers. It’s already descended into childish name-calling – on one side, anyway.
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Date
20030805
Telemarketers
Time
09:23
Read about a new scam meant to get around the new ‘do not call’ list.
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Date
20030805
Time
09:25
Robert De Niro, Harvey Keitel and Howard Stern are legally entitled to carry a loaded firearm in NYC. Steven Seagal and Joan Rivers are not.
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Date
20030805
Time
09:52
Peace love and rainbows… Gay and Lesbian Alliance (GLA) changes name to Death Penalty Party of South Africa (DPP).
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Date
20030805
Time
09:55
Consumerism gone mad: celebrity ducks.
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Date
20030805
Time
09:56
Heh. A nice reaction to the Pentagon’s proposedthenquicklyshelved terrorism futures market. Why bet and trade of terrorism when you can instead bet and trade on which country the White House will threaten next?
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Date
20030805
Tom’s Teens Page
Time
13:43
Tom Watson’s Teens! page enjoyed another outing in print today, courtesy of yet another journalist operating without the benefit of a scroll bar (or a sense of humour, by the looks of things).
Thanks to Joe Smith for the heads-up.
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Date
20030805
Photoshopping
Time
16:09
I made this. Oh, and on my travels I found this cool ‘photos of my friends’ site that pretty much typifies Tripod use. (Poor Amanda – a promising modelling career shot to hell…)
Mind you, some good is done on this corner of the web. Case in point: The Ultimate Build Your Own Cow Page!
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Date
20030806
Time
09:07
Really bad spam delights geeks. Whatever floats your boat. I hate it all.
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Date
20030806
Time
09:09
There’s a funeral today. Take time out for a minute’s silence if you can. Then get back to shouting.
Repeat after me:
“It’s all about regime change!”
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Date
20030806
Time
09:11
I’m sure you’ll enjoy this fantastic collection of souped-up rice-burners. The genuinely sad spend as much on their sound system as their bodywork and accessories. I once knew a chap whose bass-bins took up the entire back seat. This would be a problem if he ever met a real-live girly. If…
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Date
20030806
Time
09:16
Man gets 12 months for publishing bomb recipes on his website. The website in question is here. You may wish to read the statement on it. The grand and glorious Web Archive is having server problems at the moment, but it’s probably worth checking later today to see the earlier version of the site that got him into so much trouble.
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Date
20030806
Time
09:21
Explore the Mormon/Battlestar Galactica Connection (link via the Ultimate Insult). This site has a bunch of other crazy B-movie stuff on it. So does this one. Enjoy.
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Date
20030806
Time
09:26
Steel Worker Takes 30,000-Volt Jolt. Apparently it’s a miracle he’s alive, but major voltage passing through your body is less likely to kill you than, say, a modest 240v or so. Mind you, it burns like a bastard…
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Date
20030806
Time
09:28
Here’s an interesting little camcorder review found by FunJunkie.
UPDATE – Many, many, many more excellent reviews can be found in this B3ta thread.
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Date
20030806
Christianity Watch
Time
09:30
Two lame mud-slinging attempts have fallen by the wayside and the Episcopal Church has approved the election of its first openly gay bishop.
More earth-shattering than this, however, is the news that 404 errors were foretold in the Bible (link removed because spam).
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Date
20030806
Time
09:33
Power from blood could lead to ‘human batteries’
Insert obligatory Matrix reference here.
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Date
20030806
Time
09:35
John Farnham has been asked to join famed British rock band Queen! If you just said ‘John who…?’ then count yourself lucky. Nobody deserves to start Wednesday morning with a cold and dark fear that penetrates their very soul…
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Date
20030806
Time
09:39
Hooray for Japanese vending machines!
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Date
20030806
Photoshopping
Time
10:12
The temperature is supposed to top 37 degrees celsius today, so for the rest of the morning I am going to attempt to beat the heat by pretending that it’s Christmas.
Wish me luck.
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Date
20030807
Time
09:21
Some frank tips for avoiding airline terrorism. Pick of the bunch:
“Bring your own bomb on board. If terrorists get up and start threatening everyone, you then threatening to blow up the plane if they don’t shut up. That will steal their thunder, and they’ll probably just sulk and then sit back down.”
Also, there’s this:
My work is done here. Onwards and upwards…
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Date
20030807
Riding High on Blogdex
Time
09:25
I was just getting over the news that Arnold Schwarzenegger is running for governor of California when I turned on my ‘puter to discover what radio and television decided to keep from me… that Gary Coleman is also running!
Oh, this is going to be fun. When you’re done reading quotes from Arnold Schwarzenegger’s announcement, you might want to also consider ten reasons why Gary deserves your vote.
Finally, we take a look at this morning’s chart topper:
You can find out what other bloggers think about this by clicking here or here.
PHOTOSHOPPING UPDATE – Don’t laugh. It could happen.
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Date
20030807
Time
09:42
Hooray for Google News Alerts! Now I’ll get an email anytime Tim Yeo gets a mention. This, combined with the ‘Blog This’ feature on Google’s toolbar, makes stalking the man a breeze.
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Date
20030807
Time
09:46
Given the choice, would you travel by a dog-powered scooter or flying car?
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Date
20030807
Time
09:49
J-Lo has dumped Ben. Try to pretend that you care.
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Date
20030807
Time
09:50
Women exposed to WTC dust may be giving birth to undersized babies. The asbestos issue looks to have been swept under the rug (as is said) but this site pokes around the top Google search results for you.
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Date
20030807
Time
09:58
Enjoy rock’s ten most infamous copyright battles. Huey Lewis vs. Ray Parker Jr. will always be my favourite. Apparently the producers of the film Ghostbusters specifically referenced I Want a New Drug when describing the kind of sound they were looking for and Ray, Dog bless him, delivered it in the most efficient way possible – by simply ripping off the melody.
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Date
20030807
Time
10:06
Bus driver drinks until 4:00am before starting shift at 4:10am
A completely different bus driver got around the ‘no shorts’ rule by wearing a skirt instead.
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Date
20030807
Tom’s Teens Page
Time
10:08
A fanta-stick letter in the latest issue of Private Eye hits the nail right on the head. Brian Whiley of Hull, if you’re out there, drop me a line. A free book is yours for the asking.
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Date
20030807
Time
10:12
Napalm devices were used on Iraqi troops.
Said Col. Randolph Alles; “The generals love napalm. It has a big psychological effect.”
He also notes that it’s a less than pleasant way to die. The White House takes a different view. It’s not napalm, oh no. It’s a firebomb. And presumably it kills people in an entirely different and much more pleasant manner. Kind of like flowers falling from the sky, except with a slight tingling sensation and a mild BBQ-like smell.
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Date
20030807
Time
10:33
Amazon.com founder Jeff Bezos is branching into space-tourism.
You know, it occurred to me recently that the Russian space program could benefit greatly from a little clever marketing. Dennis Tito paid the Russian Space Agency $20m, but there have been state lotteries in the U.S. offering prizes bigger than this (and taking in a great deal more in the process).
So why not have a lottery offering the winner a chance to go into space?
It’s a beautiful idea in so many ways:
– For the month or so that the lottery runs, everybody who participates will get to enjoy that tantalising (albeit slight) possibility of travelling in space.
– The person who does end up going won’t be some rich nut with more money than sense.
– The Russian Space Agency will take in a shedload more than $20m.
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Date
20030807
Time
16:40
I was just having a quick poke around trying to see if there were any weblogs, community sites or portals for the UK fashion/modelling scene, and while I did find one solid weblog on the subject pretty much straight away, I am very easily distracted.
And here are those distractions in full:
Men with eye-patches. Is there anything cooler than a complete loss of depth perception?
Surely this qualifies as desecration of the American flag?
1. It’s touching the ground.
2. It’s touching pubic hair!
3. It’s probably also duct-taped to his butt.
Finally, whatever happened to natural big-breasted curvy girls?
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Date
20030808
Time
09:05
‘Wedding still on’ says Lopez. Thanks, Steve. We can all sleep now.
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Date
20030808
Time
09:06
There’s a nice write-up on the current Iraq situation over at Hanging Day – and a timely warning for Hans Blix. For the sake of your own health, Hans, do try to avoid deserted streets and grassy knolls.
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Date
20030808
Time
09:08
Behold the sporting wonder that is Zorb!
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Date
20030808
Time
09:09
Court rules that man is not allowed to own a dog. Ever. “You’re just a bad, bad owner,” said the judge.
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Date
20030808
Time
09:11
The Monkey Shakespeare Simulator (via Ultimate Insult).
It’s kind of like a simian version of the Seti @ Home project. Every time you view the page, ‘your computer is put to work to simulate a number of monkeys typing randomly on typewriters, and each page typed is checked against every play Shakespeare ever wrote.’
Heh. Cool. The longer you stay on the page, the greater your chances of breaking the current record – 6 letters from King John after 86,339 monkey-years.
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Date
20030808
Time
09:18
Security flaw at spammer’s website reveals people are actually buying. Doesn’t surprise me. Close to a quarter of a million people The Sun is a newspaper and Lombard Direct is ‘easier, faster and cheaper’ than going to the bank.
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Date
20030808
Time
09:25
I played with the Random Personal Picture Finder for a bit yesterday. It’s pretty smooth, and has a nifty ‘choose size of picture’ feature, but I still have a soft spot for Randimaginator.
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Date
20030808
Flash Games
Time
09:28
3D Stress Ball is like Marble Madness, except with bouncing and far more severe consequences when gravity takes hold.
Ooooh, what’s that big green and brown thing coming towards me? I think I’ll call it ‘ground.’ I wonder if it will be my friend…
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Date
20030808
Time
09:31
When good stories go bad:
Some prankster set a chicken aloft by attaching 100 helium balloons to it. It became trapped in power lines, and a police officer used an air pistol to pop some balloons and bring the chicken safely to the ground. Said officer is now being investigated for firing a non-regulation weapon. At, what we can only assume, was a non-regulation chicken.
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Date
20030808
Time
09:36
Researchers publish guidelines for Web addiction, complete with nifty acronym:
More than intended time spent online
Other responsibilities neglected
Unsuccessful attempts to cut down
Significant relationship discord because of use
Excessive thoughts or anxiety when not online.
Now perhaps somebody can look into the risks of researching and at what stage it interferes with somebody actually having a life.
Ooooh, hang on, there’s more:
You can tell it’s summer break, can’t you?
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Date
20030808
Time
09:39
This giant robot dog costume is the coolest thing you will see all week. The inclusion of an animated pilot (that ‘operates’ the controls in synch with the wearer’s movements) is inspired.
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Date
20030808
Time
09:45
Parking inspector puts parking ticket on windscreen of car. While the driver was slumped in the front seat, dead from an overdose.
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Date
20030808
Time
09:48
A cool collection of Russian anti-alcohol posters.
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Date
20030808
Time
09:49
New stadium’s toilets tested with simultaneous flushing. 200 volunteers flushed 627 toilets.
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Date
20030808
Time
16:01
Here you go – look at some flat tops.
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Date
20030808
Does What It Says On The Tin
Time
16:22
Via NTK:
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Date
20030808
Photoshopping
Time
16:24
Some wallpaper-sized movie images for you, and a nice collection of hi-res images from T3. Use them wisely.
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Date
20030810
Time
12:12
This bloody heatwave had better break soon. The unrelenting heat is starting to diddle with my head. Poor sleep, the inability to think straight… I never liked it in Australia, and I certainly don’t like it here.
Enough with the heat already!
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Date
20030811
Time
09:00
It’s… tesg’s guide to big chain road food consumption (via Ultimate Insult).
His review of Kenny Rogers Roasters is pretty straightforward:
“I don’t care for chicken, and I don’t care for Kenny Rogers.”
Still, he managed to walk away with a new-found love for Kenny’s wood-fired rotisserie chicken, if not for the man himself.
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Date
20030811
Flash Games
Time
09:04
El Reggio is right. This game isn’t the best game in the world, but the work-alert feature is second to none.
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Date
20030811
It’s War! And Somebody’s Telling Porkies!
Time
09:07
WMDs: Depiction of Threat Outgrew Supporting Evidence
Oh, but there’s new evidence on the way. No, really.
Why are you looking at me like that?
UPDATE – Tickle your giblets with more on this subject over at Hanging Day.
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Date
20030811
Riding High on Blogdex
Time
09:10
This example of a bikini model shot from a digital manipulation portfolio is enjoying a fair amount of attention.
She looks great at first, but then we find out that she’s got bad skin, a furry body and hands like grandma.
Says the artist:
“It doesn’t seem natural to me to take out every curve, to airbrush out every blemish, but what the Art Director wants, the Art Director will get.”
Remember, if you don’t have access to Photoshop, then beer has pretty much the same effect.
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Date
20030811
Time
09:17
Remember the good old days before cable television when the cheapest thrill one could have at home was a twenty minute (ahem) ‘aerobic’ workout?
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Date
20030811
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Date
20030811
Anyone but George
Time
09:22
Now, this is a campaign site I can believe in.
On a similar note, the anti-Arnie movement got off to a good start this weekend with this striking campaign and this run-down at rotten.com (careful with that last one – it contains a naughty image or two).
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Date
20030811
Only Interesting to Bloggers
Time
09:27
A charming song from Radio Free Blogistan and a review of Blogshares.
Incidentally, shares in Bloggerheads.com show steady growth. Invest today. Or send me some real money.
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Date
20030811
U.C.I.N.
Time
09:32
The Universal Church of the Interactive Network has been reviewed by this weblog that tracks ‘unusual’ churches.
Unusual? What’s unusual about love and respect for your fellow web users?
Oh, right. Reality. Sorry, I do keep forgetting…
BTW, current UCIN placement for the ultimate generic search query ‘religion’ in Google is 91st (up from 102nd last month). Slowly but surely…
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Date
20030811
Time
09:38
Car falls from five-story carpark and lands on rooftop opposite.
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Date
20030811
Follow Up
Time
09:39
US admits it used napalm bombs in Iraq.
A 1980 UN convention banned the use of napalm against civilian targets. Yet another treaty not signed by the ultimate rogue state.
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Date
20030811
Time
09:42
Mr Men ‘go corporate’ to sell pharmaceutical message to kiddies.
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Date
20030811
Tom’s Teens Page
Time
09:46
Heh. Tom’s not taking any chances with Private Eye – and rightly so.
As Paul Carr notes in this excellent article, a simple search would have saved them a lot of embarrassment.
That’s a good rule of thumb, there:
“When in doubt, use Google.”
And, if still flummoxed, try Technorati.
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Date
20030811
Time
09:53
Man disguised as gorilla snatches bananas from shop. The shopkeeper was treated for shock. You may also want to take a seat for the earth-shattering revelation that a film company was behind the prank.
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Date
20030811
Time
09:56
Prince William spears antelope while on holiday in Kenya. The freshly shish-kebabed beast is also known as a ‘dik-dik,’ providing animal lovers and cheap tabloids ample ammunition with which to strike back on its behalf.
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Date
20030811
Spam
Time
10:00
Ah yes, now this is what we like to see: filters that fight back.
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Date
20030811
Flash Thingies
Time
11:03
Meet Edward the Fat Panda.
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Date
20030811
Time
11:43
Bill Thompson is Andrew Orlowski in a fake beard AICMFP.
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Date
20030811
Time
12:40
When the killer heatwave finally breaks down south we can look forward to killer lightning strikes.
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Date
20030811
Flash Thingies
Time
16:35
This should keep you busy for the rest of the afternoon. Play with the numbers, click OK. That’s about it, really.
Try 15, 5, 10, 10 for a cool bouncing wormlet, or go and watch the B3tans playing with it.
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Date
20030811
Time
16:47
Prepare to up-chuck (submitted by Pete, who now has to clean my shoes).
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Date
20030812
Time
08:54
Two big launch announcements:
Announcing Issue Zero of the London News Review (£5 well spent) and the victorious debut of the Domkun kettle in the Screen Pages office kitchenette (a heavily lime-scaled veteran bites the dust).
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Date
20030812
Time
08:59
Speedstacks is the undisputed leader in the exciting sport of of Cup Stacking. You’ll want to make time to watch their collection video clips.
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Date
20030812
Time
09:01
Historic schoolhouse deroofed when demolition contractor starts work on wrong building.
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Date
20030812
Time
09:03
Some ‘off the record’ work stories (link via Ultimate Insult). Some of them read like the lamest of Life’s Like That submissions, but there are some gems hidden in there.
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Date
20030812
Yet Another Lame Quiz
Time
09:06
Which Fantasy/SciFi Character Are You? I’m Elrond – a ‘stern yet benevolent organiser.’ Isn’t that nice?
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Date
20030812
Time
09:10
Hong Kong fashion company under fire for Nazi-themed clothing line and store decorations.
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Date
20030812
Time
09:11
Doonebury’s trolling for blog traffic.
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Date
20030812
Flash Thingies
Time
09:13
George Bush is a bad egg.
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Date
20030812
Riding High on Blogdex
Time
09:13
Should be interesting to see how this pans out: a weblog investigating the effectiveness of penis enlargement pills. Some people are already asking if it’s a clever marketing ploy. See a list of weblogs that link to this.
On a related note, the President of the Australian Society of Plastic Surgery has said that men seeking surgical penis enlargement are showing ‘profound psychological disturbance.’ Best stick with the pills, then.
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Date
20030812
Time
09:18
The Game Show Network is offering lesser-known candidates for Governor of California a chance to debate en-masse live on TV. The show is quite cleverly titled Who Wants to Be Governor of California?
You might also want to check out porn-star candidate Mary Carey’s official election site when the boss isn’t watching. Shall I tempt you with a platform sample?
1. Legalize gay marriage in California. This will generate a tremendous amount of revenue for the state as a honeymoon destination.
UPDATE – See a picture or Mary Carey chatting with fellow candidate Mathilda Karel Spak (100) while they wait for their paperwork to clear.
Finally, more anti-Arnie bits and bobs for you to enjoy. Seems folks are on the lookout for any footage of Mr Schwarzenegger misbehaving on UK television.
OK folks, can we help out on this one?
UPDATE – Found some screengrabs. See Arnie wrestling with Denise van Outen here and here. All in good fun.
Oh, and have you seen this at your local news stand today? Does it scare you as much as it scares me?
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Date
20030812
Time
09:24
Traces of Agent Orange still linger in the Vietnamese food chain.
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Date
20030812
Flash Games
Time
09:58
Play shopkeeper! I was terrible. So much for my planned career in the service industry.
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Date
20030812
Time
10:01
Stray chickens in Bartow, Florida are now officially ‘fair game.’ Can you say ‘buckwheats’ boys and girls?
UPDATE – Do watch out for chickens that can fight back and, hey, let’s be careful out there.
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Date
20030812
Online Marketing
Time
10:09
Read about B3tans whoring themselves in the online advertising world. It does irk me slightly that the B3ta mods tend to shun all commercial executions – unless of course it’s made by one of the B3ta mods. OK, it’s their site, but the hypocrisy doesn’t sit well.
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Date
20030812
Time
14:16
A man claiming to be Saddam Hussein’s sorcerer has predicted that the former dictator will be found dead in the village of Dhuluaiyah (55 miles north of Baghdad). He has also asked not to be identified. We can probably assume from this that Saddam has more than sorcerer – or just one very stupid one.
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Date
20030812
Doing The Rounds
Time
14:53
You should be getting a copy of this link (or a screen grab of same) in the mail anytime now.
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Date
20030812
Time
17:11
You’ve probably already read about the sentencing of Luke Sadowski the 19-year-old who tried to buy a 9-year-old girl for sexual purposes.
Seeing the footage of his arrest was even scarier. The kid looked completely distanced from reality. Just about every aspect of the case is mind-boggling, from the borderline entrapment to the light sentencing.
Now someone has just posted the following to the Popbitch board:
Luke Sadowski’s mother is a social worker. His father is a child psychologist.
If it’s true (remember, we are talking about Popbitch here), then we may very well drown in saliva when The Sun starts frothing at the mouth about it.
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Date
20030813
Time
09:12
This NYT article (submitted by Nic) requires registration, so here’ s a quote to wet your whistle:
“In a lame attempt to be hip, pols are posting soggy, foggy, bloggy musings on the Internet. Inspired by Howard Dean’s success in fund-raising and mobilizing on the Web, candidates are crowding into the blogosphere – spewing out canned meanderings in a genre invented by unstructured exhibitionists.”
If you can get past the sarky attitude, this article does make a few good points worth pondering, and is rare in that it points out that Howard Dean doesn’t actually post much himself.
If you want political blogging to go in the right direction, if you want your local elected officials to speak to you like a human being, then the first step is up to you. A good blog starts with the right motivation.
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Date
20030813
Riding High on Blogdex
Time
09:19
Everyone’s worried about the W32.Blaster.Worm – and rightly so.
Apparently it’s a right bugger to fix and Microsoft aren’t able to help a heck of a lot. A chap at work has an infected machine at home. He (just barely) managed to power up and patch, the log files showed a successful correction, but the infection remains.
Watch for updates, and watch your step.
UPDATE – Justin successfully removed this little bastard of a virus from his ‘puter last night and has provided this useful link for the afflicted. Cheers, mate.
Oh, there’s also this info page from The Washington Post.
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Date
20030813
Time
09:24
Ralph Nader has copped a pie in the face the day after it was whispered that he claimed that the September 11th terrorist attacks wouldn’t have happened if he had been president (scroll down).
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Date
20030813
Wonderful stuff. Sadly, I had to leave my vinyl collection behind when I left Australia – it simply wouldn’t have survived the extremes of temperature your average shipping container is subjected to.
I hope one day to be reunited with my vinyl. It’s in trustworthy hands, but it did come close to disaster during a recent bushfire. Yes, I lost sleep as a result.
Pretty sad, huh?
Even sadder, I think it would be a good idea to transfer vinyl recordings to MP3 so even tech-heads can enjoy their favourite tracks as God intended them.
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Date
20030813
Time
09:35
I don’t know which way to spit!
Did you know that Fox News registered ‘Fair & Balanced’ as a trademark in 1995?
!!!
Now an author wants to take a look at this ridiculous state of affairs but Fox is suing him over the title.
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Date
20030813
It’s War! And Things Is Getting Ridiculous!
Time
09:38
Activist fined $10,000 for going to Iraq to protest the war. He thought the fine was $500, but authorities have record-clubbed his ass by jacking up the price. That’ll learn him.
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Date
20030813
Time
09:40
Bust a move with Rippin’ Richie at popandlock.com!
The site includes hints and tips for improved body-popping endurance, details about his instructional DVD (will teach you how to pop, wave, glide and do the ‘King Tut’ – with no shipping charges for a limited time only) and his thoughts on politics and religion.
You’ll want to check out his ‘not-at-all-typical 9/11 song’ – it’s a wonder to behold.
It also magically sticks in your head, like all good songs should.
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Date
20030813
Time
09:50
American tourists scared by hi-tech Japanese toilets.
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Date
20030813
Time
09:53
Like lists? Here are the fifty worst worst artists in music history according to US music magazine Blender. I’m sure you’ll find at least one inclusion to object to.
Get yourself a free copy of Blender and write a letter of complaint to the editor. It won’t silence the voices, but it may kill an hour or two.
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Date
20030813
Time
10:14
Stand by for cynicism…
Last night, this story was presented by the BBC as a terrorist plot to shoot down Air Force One.
Pardon? How’s that work then?
Everybody except the dealers involved were government operatives in on the sting, from the Russians who sold it to missile, to the customs agents who allowed it through – even the bloody buyer was an FBI agent!
The threat to Air Force One is now being played down, but I’m willing to bet it was presented as part of the sales pitch (‘Just imagine what this baby could do!’).
We also have a high-risk-completely-genuine-not-all-all-to-do-with-PR terror threat going on and a scheduled terror test on the tube.
OK, the danger is there, but the timing of some previous alerts and exercises (like rolling tanks into Heathrow the day before the biggest peace march in this country’s history) has a lot of people wondering what is real and what is rubbish.
That, I would think, is a threat in itself.
UPDATE – Ionicus remembers the tank stunt, too – and wonders quietly why we never heard anything about the supposed threat, where it came from and where it went to…
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Date
20030813
Time
11:42
Heads up! The Hutton Inquiry has its own website! Cheers to Andy who’s minding the fort for Tom.
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Date
20030813
Time
13:38
A ‘5 Questions’ blog-interviewing meme is doing the rounds. Sadly, my link in the chain is weakened by my lack of permalinks and a comments function, so allow me to present the passage of this meme from its origins to my blog by way of apology:
I found out about it via bar room philosophy, who picked it up from Green Fairy, who learned of it from Feministe, who cottoned on via Swirlspice, who was infected via Kathy Howe who plucked it from the source at Cornelia Smith’s weblog.
Here are the rules. To play, you will need your own weblog or online journal.
1. If you want to participate, leave a comment saying “interview me” (in my case, of course, you will have to send me an email…).
2. I will respond by asking you five questions – each person’s will be different.
3. You will update your weblog/journal with the answers to the questions.
4. You will include this explanation and an offer to interview others in the same post.
5. When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions.
Now, without further ado, I present my answers to the questions from Justin at bar room philosophy.
1. Imagine you have been given unlimited funds and resources in order to make the world a better place. How would you go about it?
Can I rephrase that to ‘considerable funds and resources’? With unlimited resources, I’d simply be able to distribute them evenly – as generously as I wished – and then take the rest of the day off (so I could listen to all of the people complaining that what I gave them wasn’t enough).
2. Blow your own trumpet. What is your greatest contribution to the field of human endeavour?
Well, rooty-toot-toot! I’ve made well over a million people happy in one way or another, but I’d probably place more importance on the few people I’ve inspired to go out and do the same thing. Does that blow enough?
3. Name a world record you would like to be the owner of and why.
Best-selling book of all time – because the Bible has held the title for far too long. The money would come in handy, too.
4. Your blog or daylight. Which would you rather go without for a month?
Only a month? Pass the sun lamp.
5. If you were forced to, which of your five senses would you give up? Why that sense?
Humour. It would allow me to finally go into politics.
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Date
20030814
Time
09:27
Hanging Day on the demise of Lady Mosely. Altogether now:
Who do you think you are kidding Independent?
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Date
20030814
It’s War! And Somebody’s Telling Porkies!
Time
09:29
Is the White House manipulating Iraqi intelligence?
They seem to have a fair amount of influence over UK intelligence, albeit by sucking Tony Blair dry of his.
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Date
20030814
Only Interesting to Bloggers
Time
09:31
Andrew Orlowski lays in with some Winer-bashing.
A glowing review for Typepad with one minor grumble. He’s right – the Amazon linkage is a bit cheeky.
Finally, cheers to Wordlab for the kind mention (and to Simon for the heads-up).
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Date
20030814
Riding High on Blogdex
Time
09:38
Top link today: Google’s clever little conkulator.
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Date
20030814
Old News
Time
09:39
Yesterday was International Left Handers Day and National Underwear Day. Hands up everyone else who missed it (i.e. right-handed people who forgot to wear underwear).
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Date
20030814
Time
09:44
Old nutter spends thousands of dollars putting up ‘Thank God for Fox News’ billboards. He wants to wake the young folks up.
On the opposite end of the nutter spectrum, may I present this report of the US Air Force flying Saddam Hussein out of Baghdad?
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Date
20030814
Time
09:47
Hooray! It’s the Young Communist League U.S.A. to the rescue. Read some fun poetry or find out how to start your own club. Even better, simply join online. Another witch-hunt can’t be too far way, and you’ll want to have your name on those all-important membership lists.
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Date
20030814
Follow Up
Time
09:53
SFGate reports on the Elite Force Dubya action figure. It’s not a toy, it’s an ‘adult collectible item.’
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Date
20030814
Time
09:55
Christian school pressured to fire principal. He took a long line of young ladies to ‘Disney’ and back.
I don’t understand. Do they mean Disneyland, Disneyworld, EuroDisney… or are they merely speaking figuratively?
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Date
20030814
Flash Games
Time
10:00
Pretend to be an old lady who likes crisps. It’s pretty boring, but at least it sucks.
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Date
20030814
Time
10:01
Malaysia to ban the cooking of food, the washing of clothes and the lighting of fires in public toilets. You will also be fined heavily if you fail to flush.
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Date
20030814
Time
10:03
Young, gifted and entrepreneurial? Up to £30,000 in grant money is up for grabs. Please form an orderly line behind me.
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Date
20030814
Tony Blair’s Email
Time
13:03
A little bloody recognition wouldn’t go astray. (Sits down to type angry email…)
BTW, Tony’s development team is running out of August. I sent a polite reminder by email this morning.
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Date
20030815
Flash Thingies
Time
09:02
Why voting for Ah-nold you should be doing. There’ll be quite a few of these in the coming weeks. Maybe even one from me.
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Date
20030815
Tony Blair’s Email
Time
09:03
Yet more media attention for Tim Yeo the campaign hijacker. Thankfully, most people who hear about him this way will search for his name in Google or Yahoo. The real story is only one step away, and here’s one blogger who took that short journey.
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Date
20030815
It’s War! And Somebody’s Telling Porkies!
Time
09:05
Won’t somebody pleeeeeeease think of the troops?
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Date
20030815
Time
09:09
Major power outage hits New York, other large cities. I can’t wait to see the first photo-blog from this.
UPDATE – Here’s more from the BBC and an interesting theory about the Great Northeast Blackout of November 9, 1965. Did anybody see any lights in the sky while they were out looting?
UPDATE 2 – Hooray for TTR2! They found this photo-blog of the blackout. Everybody appears to be having a wonderful time.
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Date
20030815
Flash Thingies
Time
09:10
Go ahead, just try to sleep at night after watching this.
Incidentally, I woke up this morning and found myself reaching for my blankie. Then it struck me – I was cold! Cold! Three hours later, and there’s still a cheery nip in the air. Oh blessed relief!
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Date
20030815
Time
09:13
500 Chilean tarantulas abandoned at Mexico City’s international airport. 135 are already dead, 20 have been donated to Chapultepec zoo. A local wildlife centre is taking care of the rest, but if you’re in the area and would like a potentially lethal pet, then drop by and see if you can adopt one.
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Date
20030815
Time
09:21
Cloning Yields Human-Rabbit Hybrid Embryo.
Pfizer’s stock will plummet as a result, you mark my words.
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Date
20030815
Time
09:24
Police reacting to noise complaint arrive to find naked man and woman covered in blood. He claimed to be making a porno film, but the officers failed to find any video equipment.
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Date
20030815
Time
09:26
Drop by the Retrolounge for a heady taste of yesteryear. Things were better in them days, yessiree Bob.
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Date
20030815
Follow Up
Time
09:28
Re: ‘Fair & Balanced’
I couldn’t resist. Front page tagline duly updated.
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Date
20030815
Time
09:30
Love Is Only Sleeping – Sleepy Jean’s ‘secret oasis of love and clairvoyant understanding.’ Offers art, poetry, information about her past lives, plus lots and lots of Monkee-love. I weep for poor Mike Nesmith. Can you imagine the fan mail he gets from this woman?
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Date
20030815
Time
09:41
Ahahahahahahaha! TV stations in California who broadcast any Arnold Schwarzenegger movies would have to allow other candidates equal time.
So, no Arnie movies to be shown in California until October 7th. Nice to see some good has come of this ridiculous charade.
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Date
20030815
Tony Blair’s Email
Time
15:06
The Torygraph, unsurprisingly, puts it down to Tory intervention. Silicon.com simply accepts that it’s on the way without asking themselves why.
I’m feeling decidedly unappreciated today. FFS, doesn’t anybody do research anymore?
