Dear Party Animals and Village Vermin… bite me

Posted by Tim Ireland at January 31, 2007

Category: Consume!

This entry was posted on
Wednesday, January 31st, 2007
6:04 pm and is filed
under Consume!.

The only thing worse than a piss-weak joke is a badly-judged one… witness the disaster that is Village Vermin.

Ministry of Truth – Village Vermin: What a complete bag of shit! Look, read the disclaimer, run a WHOIS on the domain if you like (the owner listed a Party Animals Production Ltd) it amounts to the same [thing], a piss-poor attempt to create a viral advert for the programme using a fake blog on the premise that somehow we’ll all find a bunch of fake online gossip interesting – and on, I might add, with the weirdest blogroll I think I’ve ever seen – I mean who the fuck blogrolls the Downing Street website?

(Psst! More about the series Party Animals here if you feel you need to know more.)

Johnny Void jumped down my throat for saying this before, but I’m going to say it again:

Bloggerheads: Those of you who know what I’ve been up to these past few years will know that I helped make a lot of firsts happen in political blogging, and I am still doing things right now that won’t be done on a widespread basis for at least a few years. Call me self-important if you like, but I’ve learned quite a few things in the process; stuff that even most ‘experts’ don’t know about the long-term political use of weblogs.

Ditto for marketing. If you search for ‘raging cow’ in Google you’ll find some information about one of the ‘firsts’ in that arena, and my role in it.

That was nearly four years ago. Even then, it should have been obvious that people take this blogging thing seriously. That goes for political blogs as well as personal blogs because… well, people who are involved in such things tend to take politics rather seriously, too. Duh.

Ugh! Me know blogs good!If you create a fake weblog to promote anything, you will want to make damn sure that your venture is well-researched and well-judged… or that ‘joke’ will be about as welcome as, say, your faking the death of a close relative.

(But I was just kidding! Honest! Look, it was just a joke people… hey, where is everybody going…?)

For a start, look at this blogroll (see right)… I mean just look at it!

It looks like it was drafted in a hurry by someone who talked to someone who once read a thing or two about political weblogs in a pamphlet by Carol Vorderman.

Some of the sites have individual worth – (author waves to Wibbler) – but then, individual words have meaning too… that doesn’t make a random string of words a meaningful sentence.

This is laziness at work.

This is stupidity at work.

This is ignorance at work.

This is arrogance at work.

As for comments about the fake comments threads… well, I’m lost for words, to be honest.

I think the only saving grace of the Village Vermin website is that it’s not designed to promote a series about bloggers.

[Hello BBC and Party Animals Productions peeps! While I’ve got your attention, is now a bad time for me to pitch my idea for a new comedy/drama? It’s about this blogger who isn’t really a blogger who claims to be an impartial trouble maker when he’s really a smear merchant working for a shadowy right-wing cabal made up of lizard-like aliens with teeny-tiny penises. It’s kind of like Drop The Dead Donkey meets FreakyLinks. In Episode One, our anti-hero joyfully ‘outs’ one filthy homosexual after another. Just when he thinks he’s gotten away with it, he walks into the wrong Gentlemen’s Club. Hilarity ensues. In Episode Two, he buries a story because it involves one of his informants, but he secretly rats out his informant anyway. Just when he thinks he’s gotten away with it, he walks into the wrong Gentlemen’s Club. Hilarity ensues. In Episode Three….]


  1. johnnyvoid says

    “Ditto for marketing. If you search for ‘raging cow’ in Google you’ll find some information about one of the ‘firsts’ in that arena, and my role in it.”i think bill hicks said it best”By the way if anyone here is in advertising or marketing… kill yourself. No, no, no it’s just a little thought. I’m just trying to plant seeds. Maybe one day, they’ll take root – I don’t know. You try, you do what you can. Kill yourself. Seriously though, if you are, do. Aaah, no really, there’s no rationalisation for what you do and you are Satan’s little helpers, Okay – kill yourself – seriously. You are the ruiner of all things good, seriously.No this is not a joke, you’re going, “there’s going to be a joke coming,” there’s no fucking joke coming. You are Satan’s spawn filling the world with bile and garbage. You are fucked and you are fucking us. Kill yourself. It’s the only way to save your fucking soul, kill yourself. Planting seeds. I know all the marketing people are going, “he’s doing a joke”… there’s no joke here whatsoever. Suck a tail-pipe, fucking hang yourself, borrow a gun from a friend – I don’t care how you do it. Rid the world of your evil fucking machinations. I know what all the marketing people are thinking right now too, “Oh, you know what Bill’s doing, he’s going for that anti-marketing dollar. That’s a good market, he’s very smart.” Oh man, I am not doing that. You fucking evil scumbags! “Ooh, you know what Bill’s doing now, he’s going for the righteous indignation dollar. That’s a big dollar. A lot of people are feeling that indignation. We’ve done research – huge market. He’s doing a good thing.” Godammit, I’m not doing that, you scum-bags! Quit putting a godamm dollar sign on every fucking thing on this planet!”Ooh, the anger dollar. Huge. Huge in times of recession. Giant market, Bill’s very bright to do that.” God, I’m just caught in a fucking web! “Ooh the trapped dollar, big dollar, huge dollar. Good market – look at our research. We see that many people feel trapped. If we play to that and then separate them into the trapped dollar…” How do you live like that? And I bet you sleep like fucking babies at night, don’t you?”

  2. Manic says

    Johnny,I’m not afraid of getting stick from you, as you usually take hold of the wrong end of it.My ongoing ‘obsession’ with how people treat other people has cost far more money than it has made… I could easily double or triple my income by keeping my head down, my mouth shut and my heart cold.By the way, you are afforded more liberty here than you ever would be over at Staines’ website, but for some reason you seem intent on casting me as a closet comment fascist… and you also seem intent on pushing things to the point where you are edited, deleted or banned (perhaps to prove your ‘point’).Generally, if you are using a quote from a third party on someone else’s website, it is considered polite to copy and paste a short, pertinent passage, and provide a link to the rest. Here, you have published the whole damn passage, and provided no link to the material around it: follows your stunt last week, when you deliberately cropped to a quote of mine on your own website – without providing a link to the original – because it helped you struggle toward another ‘point’.

  3. Paul Linford says

    You neglect to mention that the "weird blogroll" also contains a link to Westminster Village, a blog that has been out of action for at least a year.The "Party Animals" series appears to be based on the experiences of its producer, Eleanor Greene, who spent some time moving in vaguely political circles a while back. Recess Monkey had the original story here:

  4. johnnyvoid says

    poor old tim, unfamaliar with the work of bill hicks, who died before most people had even heard of websitesi'm sure he won't mind me not linking to his nonexistant websitehe would mind you not killing yourself though, he was always quite clear about that

  5. Manic says

    Paul:I see Dale and Staines are bragging about playing a role in the (very poor) research. This explains a lot:…It's also fun to watch PragueTory in this same thread praising the fake weblog for its authenticity. The poor chap must be under the impression that all weblogs benefit from many fake comments written by very few people.Johnny:It doesn't matter who has or has not heard of who and/or who needs or wants a credit-link, but thanks for the diverting flame.If you must use a quote for the bulk of your comment, make it short and link to the rest. If you must cut a quote short for *any* reason, try to make your selection as representative as possible and link to the rest. You've shown very poor manners in your use of quotes twice now.My comment settings are now set at 'untrust' for you (I will be reading anything you submit before it is published), and this setting will remain in place until you show that you can be trusted to conduct yourself in a manner befitting an adult.

  6. johnnyvoid says

    aw bless, such a sensitive soul, the quote would hardly have worked unless it were in its entirity.and given the epic nature of some of your posts it was hardly that long was it?wassup tim, can give it out but cant take it?

  7. Manic says

    Johnny, I know many teachers of young children, and they have passed their wisdom onto me. In such situations, I have been advised to quietly take you to one side and issue the following verbal warning, which has been carefully crafted by experts in the field:Johnny, I know you're angry and upset right now, but please grow up or fuck off.PS – It seems to have escaped your attention that it was you who pointed the dollar finger at an act that had nothing to do with dollars. You might want to have a think about that.

  8. johnnyvoid says

    see id tell you to fuck off back, but now youve decided that you'll censor my comments then its probably a waste of time

  9. Manic says

    Johnny, you really need to stop making assertions based on assumptions.

  10. balders says

    Ah Johnny, in the interests of attempting to educate you, the following would have been a more appropriate approach to your comment…[sample]"Ditto for marketing. If you search for 'raging cow' in Google you'll find some information about one of the 'firsts' in that arena, and my role in it."i think bill hicks said it best: "By the way if anyone here is in advertising or marketing… kill yourself…"[/sample]Wouldn't have made your response any more relevant, but at least it would have been more polite. Heck, there's a whole raft of transcriptions of the Hicks tirade out there on Google.Okay, I know trying to educate you in the social graces is a bit like teaching a horse to sing…… but follow the link and you'll see the point. Or not.

  11. An Englishman's says

    Blogwars – part two

    Bloggerheads (UK) – Dear Party Animals and Village Vermin… bite me The only thing worse than a piss-weak joke is a badly-judged one… witness the disaster that is Village Vermin…. I'm going to say it again:…Those of you who know…

  12. Tim Worstall says

    Temper, Temper.

    Really, where have all the adults gone?

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