Some free advice for Jonathan King

Posted by Tim Ireland at May 14, 2008

Category: Teh Interwebs

This entry was posted on
Wednesday, May 14th, 2008
12:56 pm and is filed
under Teh Interwebs.

Via the latest B3ta newsletter I learn of Jonathan King’s promotional video and ‘single’ Wilde About Boys from his free-to-view-online musical Vile Pervert (NSFW*):

Excuse me while I fire off a quick open letter:

Dear Jonathon,

1. If a major point you wish to get across is that you haven’t been buggering boys, then don’t make the catchiest part of your song a statement saying that there’s nothing wrong with buggering boys… or people are most probably going to take it the wrong way.

2. There’s no use you claiming a victory on the basis of being more enlightened than those who miss the point, because you are not in a position to be offering people the wrong end of any stick. No-one will really notice or give a damn that the opening lyrics of your song insist on the need for consent (presumably from those capable of granting it) or that you’re stepping into the shoes of Oscar Wilde or whatever…

3. You may not like it, but Oscar Wilde’s shoes are seen to be far, far bigger than yours. You look silly stepping into them, or making any statement that compares you in any way to Elvis or the Beatles.

4. You’ve been signed up to B3ta for nearly two years now, and in that time you’ve only ever turned up to plug your stuff or berate others for not being as appreciative as they could be of your outright spam. You may not want to be liked, but you need at least to be trusted… and nobody trusts a spammer.

5. You’ll need to do far better than this if you’re going to convince me that it’s worth sitting through your grand opus.


Tim Ireland

[*NSFW – I am reliably informed that Jonathan King flashes the camera in the opening minute. There are genitals. You have been warned.]


  1. Jim Bliss says

    You complete and utter bastard, Tim. You've gone too far this time and I demand some kind of public apology or display of contrition.Jonathon King may well write truly dreadful songs (and he does), but he writes truly dreadful *catchy* songs. I've been humming "there's nothing wrong with buggering boys" for the past hour and I can't get that bloody chorus out of my head.If it's still there when I awake tomorrow, I may never forgive you.

  2. The Great Architect says

    This chap is getting exactly what he wants – exposure – (and not just in the opening minutes of his 'musical'. He's not stupid enough to be ignorant to the perceived public opinion of himself and has obviously played on it by hawking out this 'song' via the only media he has left to control – the internet. It appears to me – although maybe a simple viewpoint – that he's just doing it knowing that it will spark this sort of outrage (the b3ta replies speak volumes on this) and thus get him the publicity he so desperately craves. After all, once this starts doing the rounds, and with the backlash of people going against it, it won't be long before tabloids like the Sun (et al.) pick up the story and start getting him back into the headlines, helping him 'cash in' on this unfortunate business, and at the same time plugging his appeal process and how he's produced this 'musical' to reinforce points about his case. Sure, he's probably never going to win over public support, but he sure as hell will make some money off it to pay legal fees.Also, having sat through (well, skipped through) that 'musical' it appears he needs all the help he can get financially, having appeared to film and produce it a bedsit.The actual subject matter of the song and indeed – the 'musical' aside, he's playing the media and getting away with it. His website for the 'musical' and his own personal website positively reek of self indulgence and a man who fully hasn't come to terms with loss of fame, and presumably, fortune.All this being said, the one small glimmer of a smile while rushing through that 'musical' was a rather obvious turn by King as Rebekah Wade.

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