Simon Edhouse: adventures in the entrepreneurial mindset

Posted by Tim Ireland at November 26, 2009

Category: Consume!

This entry was posted on
Thursday, November 26th, 2009
12:30 am and is filed
under Consume!.

I’ve been funnelling most of the ‘diverting links’ content through my Twitter channel lately, but it will take a smidgen over 140 characters for me to run you through this so you get the full benefit, so for the first time in a long time…

I started by reading this post from David Thorne (a man who does not have any pets and once tried to pay a bill with a drawing of a spider):

David Thorne – Please design a logo for me. With pie charts. For free.

No, no, no… don’t read this yet. Go up and read that first. Then come back here. I’ll wait.


Done? Good. Onward…

David Thorne’s encounter with Simon Edhouse made me want to know more about the man, so I looked him up in Google. The first thing I noticed was that – within hours of his post – David had already placed third in Google for Simon’s name. Without trying:


The top search result was not Simon’s personal site ( or his business site (, but this listing at, which informed me that Simon has the following qualification from the Entrepreneurship, Commercialisation and Innovation Centre of the University of Adelaide (and no, I’m not making any of this up)

Master of Science and Technology Commercialization

I have highlighted this qualification (the result of a two year* course) so you can stare at it for a very long time, like I did, before moving on to Simon’s Twitter page and comparing it to David’s:


Admittedly, Simon has published over 6 times as many tweets than David, but if you’re going to commercialise, bums on seats is the slightly more vital statistic, and the margin is pretty clearly in David’s favour. Like 36 to 1 in David’s favour.

Now, most of you who know me know that I have very little time for stat-porn and associated willy-waving, but given Simon’s interest in the web and networking thingamajigs I’d say it’s a fair stick to measure him by, so I find this difference in Twitter performance telling, and a reliable indicator of how polite and respectful I might be in Simon’s position if asking someone like David Thorne for a favour… especially when there is a considerable risk of David saying or doing something that might result in many, many people pointing and laughing at me if I muck him about.

On that note we move on to where David Thorne is wrong; it is not Twitter (with a coin slot) that Simon Edhouse has invented, it is BitTorrent (with a coin slot)… and I have discovered on my travels that Simon appears to have gone about building the project in much the same way as he went about commissioning the logo for it:

BotTorrent commercial project, needs help
Simon Edhouse [simon at]
Sat Jan 15 03:56:27 CST 2005


I am new to this list. So I hope this invitation is OK. I am looking
for people to collaborate on a project to design a commercial
BitTorrent application. Specifically I am looking to find someone with
advanced maths skills who can assist with modelling various scenarios.
All interested parties are welcome to email me to discuss. –
simon at


Still, Simon Edhouse has played a vital role in some pretty high-flying high-tech successes in the past (and you can be the 266th person to hear all about them here on YouTube), so who knows? We may yet live to see David Thorne begging to be a part of his success as Simon rocks with laughter on the deck of his yaght yacht… especially now that David has foolishly awarded him all this free publicity and I’ve unwittingly fallen into his trap as well.

In fact, if Simon is half the man I think he is, then he’s already worked out eight ways to make mockery shit money.

All he needs now is someone to build the gubbins… maybe fashion a logo… knock together a few pie charts… and paint his fucking house.

UPDATE – I was in two minds about publishing what I had found, but this removes any doubts I may have had about how much this guy deserves to be mocked. Most of you who know me will also know that I have NO time for this kind of crap:


Don’t feel at all bad for laughing at this guy… he is clearly a dick.

*UPDATE: 1.5 year course, I’ve found. Pardon the inaccuracy. All other updates have unfolded in comments.

UPDATE (27 Nov) – Lots of words down there. Here is a picture summary, issued after much discussion, and a complete failure by Simon Edhouse to follow through on any of his sound and fury about the exchange being faked:


  1. Daniel Rutter says

    Not yet having recognised the hole in which he is located, Mr Edhouse continues to dig with all possible vigour.His Naymz page now says, in part:"David's story is of course quite untrue, the emails fraudulent, and we will take appropriate legal action, with the Police and through the Courts."Look out, David! Simon's calling the capital-P Police to report your defamatory acts! And right after they tell him to piss off because that's a civil matter, he'll be straight on the phone to his Internet Lawyer!It's Serious Business for sure, now!(I'm not sure exactly where in Australia Mr Edhouse's "Virtusoft" is located, because requires a login {and has unhelpful domain-registration info} and there appears to be no "Virtusoft" in the Australian phone book. It doesn't matter much, though, because Australia's over-broad UK-style defamation law was recently revised………to make truth, by itself, an acceptable defence. So if by some bizarre freak of chance it should turn out that the e-mails in question WEREN'T "fraudulent", Mr Edhouse may find any actual venture into the legal system rather disheartening.)

  2. Manic says

    Cheers for that, Daniel.I've been on the receiving end of similar outbursts before, and Simon's reaction is pretty textbook.I especially love the way he defames David Thorne while claiming to have been defamed.Interesting that he maintains these messages while deleting the shorter accusation of mental illness on Twitter but, as you note, he is still digging the same hole. The latest message has been revised to:—————————————————'NOTE: to all those who might have visited here in relation to a posting by David Thorne on his website, David's story is of course quite untrue, the emails fraudulent, and we may take appropriate action. (haven't decided yet) LET ME SAY THIS… Yes, David is a VERY funny guy, and I know his humour and him more than most as we have been friends for years, and worked together. However, the things he has said about me are fabrications, and he does this type of character assassination often and wantonly. – I could laugh too, if I didn't know that he would go on hurting others again and again until someone says, 'enough is enough' i.e. try and be funny without trying to denigrate and humiliate your friends.'David is a very angry man, (with H.A.T.E. self-tattooed on his knuckles) and has many problems. His satirical piece on me is quite ironic actually, because we would be very happy to pay David well for his graphic design, (if he would just do that, but the difficulties working with him outweigh the benefits) He is an excellent designer and we certainly have the funds to pay him. However, David would prefer to slander and defame and make up this kind of silly nonsense than conduct himself in a professional way. – I have always liked David, but as I said, he has some serious personal issues. (To all other victims of David's vicious pranks… shall we form a support group?) – Cheers, Simon.'source:—————————————————At first glance, he appears to be specifically claiming that the email exchange has been fabricated, but he might instead be referring to the back story in the sidebar that describes his interactions with previous co-workers. The use of 'fraudulent' to describe the email exchange may involve a very broad interpretation of the word that relates mainly to Simon's expectations about confidentiality when making his generous offer.On this point, that he would (apparently) seek to revise history on his willingness to pay for this work makes me trust him that little bit less. Unless the guts of the email exchange is a fabrication, of course, in which case I do wish Simon would come right out and say it.On Twitter, he adds this:—————————————————'I've been in touch with David Thorne's previous employer and it seems many angry people are trying to locate him. DM me for support & info.'source:—————————————————Again, textbook. I've had people attempt to 'white knight' me, too, and the two most recent attempts have been by complete liars and conmen. (Obviously, this does not automatically make Simon Edhouse a liar or a conman.)To answer your point about Virtusoft details, earlier versions of his professional presence reveal that Simon is (or was) based in a roomy PO Box in Adelaide…P.O. Box 37, Kent Town BC, South Australia 5071*(*I haven't posted the phone numbers for obvious reasons.)… but this isn't the only thing that makes me suspect that there might be a teensy bit of projection in Simon's assertions that angry people who used to work for David Thorne are out looking for him.

  3. Manic says

    Previous comment served as a pretty weighty update, so at the risk of appearing as if I'm speaking to myself, rather than confuse the issue/timeline, I'm going to break with convention and keep future updates to comments.Simon Edhouse has now finally specifically claimed that the email exchange is fabricated in whole or in part (and now he's started, he doesn't appear able to stop)—————————————————'@simonmc Simon, its pretty interesting. Certainly not viral PR, I don't need that kind of PR LOL! Suffice to say, whole thing is a fraud.'source:'@jamesfitz86 James… David is a truly great designer… I love his work… but the emails on are a hoax, pure and simple.'source:'@wclements William… for the record, that whole series of emails are a fraud and a hoax… very funny apparently – made my day!!! (not)'source:'@Katy_Potaty Katy… it didn't happen… the emails are made up. get it? I didn't write those emails. This has been such a strange day.. LOL'—————————————————Simon Edhouse has previously stated his intention to address the matter through the courts, makes out that he has ample resources to do so, and now states that the exchange he claims defamed him was fabricated in whole or in part, so the only credible move he can make from this point is to commit to legal proceedings.(waits)

  4. Manic says

    I have repeatedly/specifically asked Simon Edhouse about the matter of civil action on Twitter, (latest/example : ) and put him on the spot about it in this post that is currently one of the top search results for his name, but there is still no word from him about any impending civil action, only incrementally-specific versions of his denial. (Earlier, there was a LOT of wiggle room, but Edhouse now quite specifically claims that the entire exchange is an invention, as the following examples show.)—————————————————'@PanMan "awesome read" but realise its a total fantasy… funny, perhaps… Fiction, yes. The emails are bogus, the exchange never happend.'source:'@NunoCardoso Dear Nuno… the pie-graphs, the story, and the emails are a total fiction… Never happened. It is a hoax and a fraud…'source:'@mohitranka hello mohitranka… of course not. I believe in FREE, always. By the way, that story is a hoax, David created all the emails.'source:—————————————————IMO, he's already cast the seeds of doubt by failing to come out with these strong and specific denials immediately (and instead lashing out at Thorne with a since-deleted claim that the man had "mental problems"), and he is not going to get very far with many people by simply resting on this denial and not commiting to civil action after stating intention to do so and making out that he had ample resources. The suspicion is going to remain that his denials mean little-to-nothing, and/or that 'little-to-nothing' is a fair description of his resources (which may not be as funny as what David Thorne has published, but undermines a 'successful entrepeneur' narrative just as effectively).It is now past 1am in Adelaide, and Simon Edhouse is currently making vague, unsubstantiated claims that David Thorne is directly involved in some form of hacking attempt on his website. This is textbook in two ways: (a) the mocking crowd appears to include one or two people who have reacted childishly to the ultra-secrecy of his project site at (which is what I assume he refers to here) and (b) Edhouse is attacking his primary mocker with an accusation of criminal/improper behaviour:—————————————————' "..our system has reset your Server Admin FTP/SSH password due to suspicious activity observed on your (gs) Grid-Service." (i.e. Mr. Thorne)'source:'Folks… this Twitter feed will document his desperate and childish exploits as they occur… enjoy.'source:—————————————————The further accusation (of desperation) I've filed under 'projection'.I'll leave it there for now, because Simon has just this moment finally responded and (oddly) asked for my 'advice':

  5. Manic says

    The advice I gave Simon Edhouse (edited into one single paragraph because I don't want to start mixing up my tweets with his in an already-busy series of updates):'If the published exchange is real/accurate, take a deep breath & prepare to eat humble pie chart. If the published exchange is invented as you claim, insist on clarification/retraction, backed by legal action. Oh, and don't rush into making any claims that you cannot substantiate (e.g. does Thorne REALLY have tattooed knuckles?) Given that [it's] past 1am where you are, I'm also inclined to suggest that you pull up now and sleep on the matter.'It later emerged – after Edhouse reinforced his previous claim with a further implication that Thorne was involved in a hacking attempt on him (alongside a repeat of his claim that the same man had tattooed knuckles ) – that the 'hacking' alert was most likely nothing to do with David Thorne OR Simon Edhouse specifically:…(Please note that this revelation does NOT prove Simon to be a liar.)

  6. Daniel Rutter says

    I think it's worth mentioning that not only do nearly all threats of legal action – ESPECIALLY on the Internet – lead to nothing at all, but the greater the number of threats and allegations made in person and not through a lawyer, the lower will be the probability that suing will be successful, or even occur.The CORRECT next step after threatening to sue, if the threat does not induce the object of your dislike to back down, is to retain the services of a lawyer and get that lawyer to send a nastygram.I wrote a thing about legal letters a while ago:……upon the occasion of receiving the very first actual nastygram I'd ever seen, despite the moderately long list of assorted zealots and nutcases who've personally sent me creatively-spelled legal threats over the years.

  7. Manic says

    Nice response, and a useful post. I'll even plug it myself for good measure:…I've received my share of threats and nastygrams, and my experience is similar; most of them are just more hot air (in an expensive package). The ones that mean business get down to business, without delay.I gave Simon Edhouse plenty of chances to convince me of the truth of his (initially vague) claims that the exchange was a fabrication, and he totally failed to convince me, mainly because he put himself in a position where his only credible move was civil action, and he failed to follow though.It may well be the case that Simon cannot afford to engage in any level of civil action (in which case he would have my sympathy) but after giving the impression that he had the will and the cash to do this, he backed down. This only reinforced one of the main points that comes across in David Thorne's piece; the man is all mouth and no trousers.

  8. Simon Edhouse says

    greetings all… I have read the blog piece and all the comments, and will respond to the satire on David's site in due course. I had some immediate reactions and responses to what happened, and some of those reactions were based on my complete disbelief at what I was witnessing. I have made some simple statements about my position, but it seems more is required. I am happy to do that, but I will do so carefully… mainly because David has been a friend for many years and there is a lot more to this than people realise. – Just re-reading David's piece, I had to laugh myself, because its so silly. The last time David did a logo for me was actually back in October 2005, when he designed the virtusoft logo just before I incorporated the Company (I just checked) and yes he did it very cheaply, because we were mates, and I paid him immediately. – I have never asked David to design a "pie-graph", and I don't owe him any money. (this recent event seems to have been triggered by me asking him a few weeks ago not to contact me) – In case people haven't realised, this is all David's way of having fun. (as per the email I received from him last Friday, (the day after this began), responding to a comment I made on Twitter :- – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – -From: David Thorne 
Subject: /
Date: 27 November 2009 1:44:37 PM ACDT
To: Simon Edhouse@FxNxRl LOL… Alan, yes strangely, I making a lot of new aquaintences/friends through this silly episode.. a fascinating soap opera.Thats the game. Admit it, you are having fun.- – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – -To David this is an exciting and hilarious game. Trouble is, to the many people (often his friends) he tries to humiliate with these "games", it is not terribly funny.

    • MissyAnthropy says

      Simon, I have a very simple question that may or may not solve all of your issues. Did you pay David for previous work? Or are you dead beat client? Were you going to pay David for his work? Or are you a dead beat client?

      While you may have all of the intentions of paying these people when you finally strike it rich and famous with your "yacht" and party girls post cards living it up like Pdiddy in Beverly Hills. Let me tell you a piece of wise advice my grandfather would say to me.

      The road to riches is not paved with good intentions.

      Also, I have noticed from googling you for a whole 15 minutes. You appear to have no viable skills outside of talking out of your ass and blantly lieing to people. While this type of profession might of been viable in 1720 when you were convincing indians to give up their land for beads. In the current year of 2014, this doesn't work because even my 4 year old knows your eyes are brown.

      David might be an angry man with mental problems, but at least he isn't a liar.

      Signed with much disrespect,

      Missy Anthropy

    • Charlotte says

      Stop digging you moron!

  9. Manic says

    "I… will respond to the satire on David's site in due course. "I will continue to wait patiently. We have weekends here, too.

  10. lewayotte says

    Did anyone else see this tweet from David come through on their feed?…The original tweet was deleted, but the URL was according to my TwitterFox add-on for Firefox.

  11. Manic says

    I took that as a joke myself. Edhouse clearly exists.

    • iridiumhawk says

      I'm still just amazed at the knack that David apparently has for attracting complete idiots. Either they're a lot more common than I had assumed, or David puts a lot of work into tracking down fodder for 27bslash6.

  12. CDC says

    Manic, I'd say Edhouse exists – got an email from him, and I can't really see Thorne going to the trouble of sending a fake email to one random person as who made a Twitter comment on this whole exchange.Quite bizarre.

  13. AGD says

    If Simon had any sense, he would have said from the beginning"No idea where this came from or why he did it; haven't talked to the guy in x years. Trying to get a hold of him now…"or"I did make a logo request, I do owe him money, and our conversation was on casual terms…I wasn't expecting that reaction, and I would have happily discussed paying him something if he had just said 'hey, I worked hard on the last logos, can you pay me up front this time?' But he decided to turn a simple business request into a blog post by baiting me."orPost his copy of the email thread to prove the fraud.However:Simon *is* loving the drama and attention. The fact that he can't PR his way out of this very simple situation of internet detractors doesn't bode well for his business sense.

  14. Just Saying says

    Old news, I know; but I just came across this today (being somewhat of an old fella) and so decided to comment anyway: this whole issue surrounds a posting from a person who is known for other humorous stories involving ping-pong correspondence. So (especially given that deep down inside I don't really give a toss anyway), I would give Edhouse the benefit of the doubt. Even trial by internet should surely include the presumption of innocence?

    • Hahaha says

      Hello Simon, I know it's you. The way you feel you have to point out it's "old news and you only just came across it today" and that you "don't give a toss" When you clearly do, gave you away.
      Simon just accept that no body believes that the email exchange was faked., The world is laughing at you and by denying it and with lame attempts like this to try and get people on your side you just draw more attention to the fact that you are a joke

  15. Rossco says

    Jeez. I also googled Simon and this was the 1st Stop! He's missing a great opportunity… somewhere.
    This has also saved me having to think too hard about whether he's an idiot or not. I just realised I don't care.
    David Thornes deleted twitter post thickens the stew tho…. We all love a mystery ay?

  16. Lofo says

    If Simon had any sense he would have stfu from the word go, and kept away from the guy. He obviously didn't and can't, and this is the result. Plus, his business ideas sound seriously lame. Now there's an article in The Age making the whole problem for him even bigger. LULZ

  17. Raymond says

    I discovered Thorne yesterday; now I can't do anything else.

  18. some1 says

    Tim, you seem to be misunderstanding the meaning of peer-to-peer networking. Downloading systems like (bit)torrent is a form of peer-to-peer, but it's not just that. Peer-to-peer means that people share something alike over a network. With bittorent this means that people don't download getting the data directly from a server, but upload whatever parts they've downloaded as well ('seeding'). Any downloader is also an uploader.
    As for the P2P site Simon was going to make, he probably did mean something like twitter/facebook/.. I quote Simon: "The technology allows users to network peer to peer, add contacts, share information..". In this case the peer-to-peer part is users posting and reading each others' comments etc.


    Googling for Simon Edhouse quickly reveals he and his company are a joke. The website of this co-called company looks like crap, pretentious and has nothing more than some text/titles in the 'portfolio' section. Whether the page on David's website is entirely true, I don't know. But David is funny as heck.

  19. Jake says

    You do know its just a joke don't you? Simon is just Zeppo to Dave's Groucho – it's a little double act. The spider thing and some of the other wind-ups are straight ahead piss-taking, but the complaint letters that leave all the funny bits in, those email exchanges where Simon sets Dave up for the big laugh. I don't think you're even expected to think its real.

    I expect you all think Dunder Mifflin is a real company too?

    • Tim_Ireland says

      I can assure you that Simon was not laughing when this initially unfolded, but I can understand why he might like to pretend that he was part of the joke, and not the subject of it.

    • nol says

      that's a different simon.

  20. @HudlUser says

    What I want to know is did he buy his "yaught"?

  21. HyipBox says

    Hi, Have you paid David yet?

  22. @surattb says

    David claims to have purchased Simon 4,000 extra Twitter followers:

  23. Scott says

    Unfortunately, a FB post has indicated that Simon took his own life.

    • Tim_Ireland says

      I am reasonably certain that this Facebook message refers to a different Simon. Simon Edhouse remains active on @SimonEdhouse.

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