Archive for the ‘Guy Fawkes Night’ Category

Posted by Tim Ireland at November 2, 2007

Category: Guy Fawkes Night, Rupert 'The Evil One' Murdoch

I’m burning Rebekah Wade in effigy tomorrow night as part of the Guy Fawkes / Bonfire Night celebrations.

In keeping with tradition, she will first be paraded in front of the townspeople, and then ceremonially placed upon the bonfire.

Then (and I am not kidding you, as we take Bonfire Night very seriously around here) villagers will throw flaming torches at her and cheer as she burns.

To prepare for her weekend adventure, Rebekah has chosen to spend today relaxing in the garden, enjoying the fruits of her labour:

Rebekah Wade

As with the effigy of Tony Blair (final reports on the burn here and here), some serious voodoo is at work:

– The head itself is empty, but at the last minute it will be filled with roughly one kilo of rancid porridge (which is right now quietly decomposing behind the shed).

– Rebekah’s face, rather than being painted, has been finished with a lovingly-applied layer of her own lies.

– She is dressed, as you may note, in the type of power-suit she favours when badgering vulnerable young women into spouting right-wing propaganda, and her body has been stuffed with the finest copies of News of the World and The Sun that the local bins have to offer.

– Special care has been taken with the stuffing of her (ahem) reproductive area, which has been carefully lined with used sandpaper.

– I decided against shoes or boots at the last minute, and instead chose a pair of striped stockings for her feet. This is exactly what the Wicked Witch of the East was wearing *just* before a house fell on her.

I’ll be watching very carefully to see if her feet curl as she burns on Saturday. Only then will I know if my voodoo is strong.

Posted by Tim Ireland at November 5, 2005

Category: Guy Fawkes Night, Tony 'King Blair

Burning Blair(For those who came in late: Burning Blair.)

As you can probably tell from his healthy glow, Tony’s ‘teflon’ coating has been completed without fuss or bother; but a little extra work popped up this morning…

This A.M. I went to a boot sale for some eye-food and happened across an early paperback copy of Tony Blair’s 1996 book; New Britain: My Vision of a Young Country.

The scan you see to your right is from the first page I saw as I leafed through it, before parting with my hard-earned 20p to buy it. The highlighting isn’t mine, but that of the original owner.

The book is now planted deep inside his chest, along with a few other items.

You may also note one final touch… the badge.

Our local line-up of Guys is traditionally an affair for the young-uns, so I needed to classify my Blair Guy as something other than an entry… so he is now officially a Special Guest Judge (Jury & Executioner).

Less than 6 hours to go now….

I have two cameras to hand, one of which has (limited) video capabilities. I will do what I can to capture the moment.

UPDATE (8:10pm)
– A full report will be with you on Monday, but I need to note the following for the record while it’s fresh in my mind:

– Torrential rain was forecast for this evening (across the whole of southern England), and this was the only thing that could have stopped Teh Burning… but that rain never eventuated.

– I didn’t hear a cross word all night; every person who saw Tony (and realised what he was there for) was happy – and vocal – about it.

– Tony was given the most prominent position on the bonfire.

– As people arrived, almost every electrical torch was trained on Tony.

– When it came time to throw the kerosene torches that would ignite the bonfire, the majority of people aimed for Tony and often spoke of their intent before they did so.

– When Tony collapsed into the flames… people cheered. Loudly!

Tony Blair, your time is up. Please hand in your pass at the desk before you leave… and don’t let the door hit your arse on the way out.

Oh no! Oh dear God, no!

I talked to a few people with better cameras than my own. With any luck, they’ll get in touch and send in their pictures/footage. I have some further photos, video and sound of my own to share with you… later.

Meanwhile, I’d like to close by quoting James Brown:

Wow. I feel good. I knew that I would.

Posted by Tim Ireland at November 3, 2005

Category: Guy Fawkes Night, Tony 'King Blair

'Please consign me to the cleansing flames!'Reuters – Blair under fire after “day from hell”: Prime Minister Tony Blair was under pressure to reassert his authority on Thursday after he suffered one of the worst days in his eight years in office. Nearly six months after comfortably winning a third successive election, Blair faced a barrage of front pages saying his authority had slumped during his “day from hell”.

BBC – Blair seeks Blunkett row closure: Tony Blair will try to move on from the resignation of his ally David Blunkett when his Cabinet meets on Thursday. Conservative leader Michael Howard said Mr Blunkett’s departure was part of a “haemorrhage” in Mr Blair’s authority. But the prime minister’s supporters say that is nonsense and Mr Blair will just get on with reforms to public services.

Why oh why oh why do I obsess over Iraq so? Well, let me tell you about one thing that stops me from drawing a line under it anytime soon…

The only people Blair can appoint or count on in the pursuit of his reforms have to have backed him over the war on Iraq then and continue to back him to this day. And anyone who can do that with a smile on their face is duplicitous, stupid or woefully misinformed. It’s no longer a case of the best man or woman for the job. Take a look at John Hutton’s position as one very clear example of this at work.

There’s no drawing a line under an issue when people are still dying and a greater crisis looms… or when that issue colours and shapes almost every other issue.

The only way to start to move forward is to draw a line under Tony Blair, and on that note I’d like to change the subject to that of voodoo.

As I carefully formed Tony Blair’s face from shreds of the Sun newspaper and later prepared to form the body using that same tabloid as stuffing, it occurred to me that a few extra items were required to make my voodoo strong.

For this reason, the following extras have been added to my Blair Guy (or are due to be added later).

some objects– Pot Pourri was mixed with the newspaper stuffing for that sweet, sweet smell of the farts that stream from his bottom, bathed in glorious sunlight.

– The suit itself is special… it’s a shoddy, showy silver number that I used to wear when I was a DJ. It’s quite audacious. I used to wonder why I kept it all these years… but I don’t any more.

– A broken watch has been placed in his breast pocket to represent his corruptibility… and his dodgy ticker*.

– Print-outs of every email Pete Broderick thought he had sent to Tony Blair that included his concerns about the Catholic Church (of which there are many) have been stuffed into Blair/Guy’s chest to represent the often-neglected religious aspect of Guy Fawkes night… and Tony Blair himself (oh, and as a sly nod to people who might think that I’m beginning to lose my mind).

– A liberal application of hairspray will be added late on Saturday to represent Blair’s Teflon coating

Feel free to suggest extras. We have the luxury of time.

Now don’t go away just yet, because I’m going to ask you to join me in a short voodoo ritual today.

Instructions follow…

Today is a very special day. It marks the beginning of the end for Tony Blair.

I ask you, the good people of Britain, to join me in a short voodoo ritual:

Step 1 – Write down Tony Blair’s full name – Anthony Charles Lynton Blair – on a piece of paper

Step 2 – Draw a line under it

… and then pass this short message on. Thank you.

a quite frankly shocking act of voodoo

(*At this point, two wonderful ideas occurred. I do love this project. ‘Cathartic’ doesn’t begin to describe it.)

Posted by Tim Ireland at November 2, 2005

Category: Guy Fawkes Night, Tony 'King Blair

Blair is built, and only requires a few finishing touches. On Saturday, he burns.

Posted by Tim Ireland at October 31, 2005

Category: Guy Fawkes Night, Tony 'King Blair

Blair's head taking shape

How about that? This *has* been a journey of discovery. I’ve spent many a quiet minute focused on the task of building my Blair Guy, and – as often happens when I focus on a project (professional, political or otherwise) – all sorts of groovy stuff starts falling out of the side of my head.

There is a new animation on the way. Totally new. You will be struck by its newness.

Posted by Tim Ireland at October 26, 2005

Category: Guy Fawkes Night, Tony 'King Blair

Burning BlairLadies, gentlemen, small boys and girls,

I’ve never felt driven to burn anyone in effigy before, but I would like to invite you to join me on my own personal voyage of discovery as I attempt to burn Tony Blair in effigy this Guy Fawkes night.

I feel this will be an educational, cathartic and ultimately rewarding experience.

Will my local community be fearful of boat-rocking? Does it harbour any fervent Blairites?

What steps will these people take to prevent expression via incineration?

I need to know the answers to these questions almost as much as I need to build a Blair/Guy with my own two hands, watch it take shape and – hopefully – look on in satisfaction as it burns to a cinder.

Watch this space for ongoing reports… and please do join me by building, burning and blogging the results yourself.

Cheers all.

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