(Karaoke) – Lyrics to ‘Amphibians’: the Rowlf & Kermit version of Billy Joel’s ‘Piano Man’

This entry was posted on
Thursday, January 28th, 2021
10:35 am and is filed
under Karaoke.

Jim Henson was a genius; his gentle soul spoke to us through both Kermit the frog and Rowlf the dog, and this song is about the moment when Rowlf and Kermit first met, and aspiring to be all you can be in a lovely shade of green*.

(*There’s a metaphor involved here: please do not rush out and join The Army.)

These lyrics began as a soulless and silly little ditty about tadpoles, but from the moment I pictured Rowlf sat behind a piano in a swamp singing to Kermit, the song grew a heart all by itself, and told me a new story about how The Dog met The Frog.

ALL of that was inspired by Jim Henson, his beautiful soul, and his lifetime mission to educate us in joy. Lyrics below the fold.

LYRICS – ‘Amphibians’ by Tim Ireland

(Sung to ‘Piano Man’ by Billy Joel)

It’s nine o’clock at The Lily Pad
Regular crowd’s hoppin’ in
An irregular bought my usual
I’m a dog,
he’s a frog,
and that’s gin

He says ‘Rowlf, can you pound out a note or two?’
I’m not really sure what that means

I escaped from the pound
It was bringing me down
When humans were controlling me

Da da da de de da
Da da de de da
da da

We ache for legs
Like amphibians
Growing, by painful degrees
But then what could be worse
Can be learned here, in verse:
It’s to give up, and never be free

See, Kermit the frog
is a friend of mine
He gets me my gigs for free
And he’s not very big
and his girlfriend’s a pig
And there’s someplace that he’d rather be.

He said ‘Rowlf, I believe this is killing me’
As the smile ran away from his hand
‘Well I’m sure that I could host The Muppet Show,’
‘If you would join Animal’s band’

Da da da de de da
Da da de de da
da da

Now Robin is a frog and a relative
A tadpole but who really cares
If he thinks that it’s child’s play
Does everything halfway
He’ll always be stuck on those stairs

When that frog in your throat screams for destiny
You must croak with the pondlife or shout
So let’s lay out our tongues
Or come cough up a lung
And turn all your guts inside out

(twinkle instrumental)

It’s a pretty good crowd, for a sewer day
And the old frog he gives me a smile
From the end of a rainbow
Like a fried green tomato
We sit and get legless awhile

And the swampland it sounds like a carnival
And the water, it smells like faeces
But they leap from their pads
And they’re all really glad
Just to be an amphibian species

We ache for legs
Like amphibians
Growing, by painful degrees
But what would be wrong
As you’ll learn from this song
Is to give up, and never be free

About Tim Ireland

Tim is the sole author of Bloggerheads.
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