Archive for the ‘Anne Milton’ Category

Posted by Tim Ireland at August 11, 2006

Category: Anne Milton

Guess which member of the Health Select Committee has the worst attendance record. Go on… take a punt.

Posted by Tim Ireland at June 26, 2006

Category: Anne Milton

Is it right for an MP (or their staff) to use time and facilities paid for by the taxpayer to edit their Wikipedia listing to their liking? (Not quick factual updates, you understand, but vanity-edits and/or censorship.)

The reason I ask is that (*ahem*) someone seems determined to remove all reference to the Anne Milton weblog from Anne Milton’s Wikipedia entry, and the most recent change (involving yet another removal of any reference/link to the weblog) tracks straight back to the IP address

(Psst! Run this IP address through Wikipedia’s back-end to see who else has been making good use of their your time.)

UPDATE (27 June) – Another data and link deletion from inside the Houses of Parliament at 11:06am. They don’t learn, do they?

UPDATE (28 June) – And the entry has been censored *again* at 9:17am from inside the Houses of Parliament. Bold and arrogant, or just plain stupid… what do you think?

Posted by Tim Ireland at May 25, 2006

Category: Anne Milton

Just in case you’re interested… I’m just rumbled Anne Milton on a clear conflict of interest. She’s taken a public stand against the amalgamation of five local PCTs… without telling the public that her husband holds one of five positions that are soon to be merged into one as a result.

Her most ardent supporters (Dennis Paul and Mike Chambers) continue to embarrass Milton – and themselves – by assuring everyone who will listen that this is some kind of personal attack, while they launch anonymous (or, rather, what they assume to be anonymous) personal attacks against me.

(Dennis Paul would do well to remember that the last time he and Mike went shouty-crackers on Milton’s behalf that she responded by requesting that he tone down his link to her on his crappy website.)

So… how will Milton react to this, I wonder? She may be a dipstick, but there’s no way she can be thinking she’ll be able to dodge this one with her ‘angry young man’ routine.

Posted by Tim Ireland at October 26, 2005

Category: Anne Milton

A new, enormous and very exciting picture of Dennis Paul recycling in his back yard (a feat made possible only by the good work of the Conservative Borough administration) can now be seen at his website. Prepare your modem for a hammering…

Posted by Tim Ireland at October 17, 2005

Category: Anne Milton

Dennis Paul and Mike Chambers

Meet Dennis Paul and Mike Chambers. They helped Anne Milton (MP for Guildford) to victory in the 2005 General Election, and they now appear to be campaigning in earnest for the Onslow Ward of Guildford Borough Council. They have answered the call and look forward to doing all kinds of neat stuff together.

Guildford was one of the top targets in the 2005 General Election, so Dennis and Mike are A-team players. I thought it might be educational for folks to see these two Top Guns in action as they go about the business of convincing an electorate that;
a) there’s a job to be done
b) they’re the men for the job

(Readers are reminded to not try at home without a third stooge present.)


Mike Chambers – Campaign team member for Anne Milton who also appeared on her campaign literature, boldly and ingeniously posing as an ordinary member of the public by using a photo of himself in his youth. Former chairman (and website designer) of the University of Surrey Conservative Society. Also popular on the University of Surrey Student’s Union discussion boards for providing bold commentary in support of Anne Milton and ‘Conservative action’.

Dennis Paul – Promotes Anne Milton and Onslow Conservative Councillor Sheila Kirkland on his website. The disgraceful attachment of the ‘racist’ tag to his campaign literature was handled with statesman-like aplomb. He was also very popular on his own discussion page (currently withdrawn), on which he appeared to be the sole author.

Chris Ward – Editor of Barefacts, the official newspaper of the University of Surrey. Recently elected as Ethics & Equal Opportunities Officer on the University of Surrey Student’s Union. Liberal Democrat campaigner (who campaigned for former Guildford MP Sue Doughty) and blogger. Obviously lacking in political experience, as he openly admits to political roles and allegiances when discussing matters… and will more often than not back this up by posting under his name (and his name alone) when discussing matters or expressing opinions online. I would regard Chris Ward to be a net-friend (we have shared many a slack-jawed moment following the adventures of Anne Milton and her associates), and I dedicate this post to him in the hope that he may one day learn how true professionals conduct themselves.

Tim Ireland – Your author. Independent blogger, observer and campaigner with deep but largely unreasonable fear of holding office. Verbal critic of Anne Milton and her campaign team. Descibed by Sandra Howard as a “deeply unpleasant man”.

The Problem

The latest copy of Barefacts contains a half-page report on the good work of the Conservative Society on Page 19, but it also contains – on Page 1 – a note that the recently-elected MP for Guildford declined to meet her student electorate at a freshers’ fayre after the election, when she seemed awfully keen to attend many a freshers’ fayre before the election.

How does one combat such accusations when to address them directly involves admitting that Anne Milton declined many invitations from local groups during her diplomatic mission to Cyprus and Tierra del Fuego? Well, the front page also carries a report that; “The University of Surrey has been slammed in the results of the national student survey.”

Bang. There’s your answer, and the A-Team are on it like white on rice.

The Plan

On the front page of Dennis Paul’s website (UPDATE – this has since been moved to a dedicated page) you’ll find a blistering article identifying the clear threat to students – the obviously partisan and student-hating University of Surrey Student Union…

Dennis Paul: The attacks on the University of Surrey by the publication threaten to undermine those with a crucial stake in the Universities future… The Student Union would do better to get their own house in order and campaign (or take action) to clean up the University Campus blighted by litter and trash dumped every weekend by a minority of drunks following closing time at the Student Union bars.

According to his profile, Dennis Paul ‘manages a range of Estate Services for a London Local Authority’… so knows his garbage. His concerns about the urban environment carry equal weight to ex-nurse Anne Milton’s concerns about health.

Co-campaigner Mike Chambers is an ex-student of the University of Surrey, and a current member of the University of Surrey Conservative Society, so he’s down with the kids. He’s also up on the hip, new Broken Window theory.

Together, they approach the campus to show uppity students that they had best get their own house in order before criticising their betters.

The Execution

Big campaigns need big images. Do not make the mistake of resizing and compressing your images with photo-manipulation software. Instead, follow the example set by Dennis and Mike and upload them straight from your camera to the server. Then use HTML to resize them. Most people have broadband these days, so a few 350Kb+ images shouldn’t present them with any difficulty.

The content of the images themselves itself is a far more complicated affair, and presents even greater difficulties. Like Dennis and Mike, you should – before attempting any such activity yourself – spend some time learning from a master.

The Art of Looking Concerned – Picture 1a (original):
“Dennis Paul with prospective MP Anne Milton expressing concern about A3 traffic noise.”

Dennis Paul with prospective MP Anne Milton expressing concern about A3 traffic noise

Traffic noise is a hard target that many shy away from, particularly because it is very hard to grimace at the volume, put your fingers in your ears, show a look of concern and gesture toward the source of the noise at the same time. It can be achieved by sharing tasks between two participants (one can grimace at the volume and put their fingers in their ears while the other shows a look of concern and enjoys the free use of both hands to gesture toward the source of the noise and a now-visible sufferer) but here Dennis Paul and Anne Milton have come up with a unique solution.

The source of the noise is still clearly visible, but your attention is directed via a clear gesture toward an assessment. The existence of this assessment means that we are no longer reliant on the word of the two participants that traffic noise is at an unacceptable level. The secondary participant – by holding the assessment – is now a take-charge activist instead of a helpless victim. The primary participant can efficiently deliver a look of concern and gesture at the primary cause of concern; the assessment that the traffic noise is at an unacceptable level.

The Art of Looking Concerned – Picture 1b (original):
“Dennis Paul expresses concern over campus litter.”

Dennis Paul expresses concern over campus litter

Litter; scourge of every modern society. Again, a hard target that requires bold visual action.

Dennis Paul (in this photo, the primary participant) has crouched down on his haunches. This classic pose allows him to be closer to the cause of concern (which is often found at ground level) and also convey a suggestion of surrounding danger. He has also ingeniously established the campus as his location by posing in front of an eating/drinking area. This is where many students take vital sustenance and discuss the latest pop bands, so there is a strong emotional attachment and they are more likely to recognise it as a landmark. It is also a place that one is likely to find litter, so there is no need to move litter to that location for a full-bodied conveyance of concern.

The brutal efficiency continues as the primary participant conveys an impressive sense of concern with his face as he gestures to the cause of concern with a single hand. This leaves his other hand free to maintain balance and drape casually in a way that suggests confidence in the presence of the aforementioned surrounding danger.

The Art of Looking Concerned – Picture 1c (original):
“Dennis Paul and Mike Chambers prepare to express concern over campus litter.”

Dennis Paul and Mike Chambers prepare to express concern over campus litter

The most exciting thing about this image is its candid aspect. You can clearly see some spectators in the background (no doubt keen to see masters of local democracy in action). The image has also been caught just as Dennis Paul and Mike Chambers are mid-manoeuvre

Dennis, graciously playing the role of secondary participant, has clearly instructed Mike (here, the primary participant) in the correct use of the classic ‘haunches’ position, and has his look of total despair at its peak as his partner prepares to deliver a look of grim determination (note preparatory lip-wetting position of tongue) and gesture toward the cause of concern (note projected path of gesture).

By simply taking a picture few frames before the completion of the manoeuvre and leaving in the people in the background, they have provided a convincing and motivating tableau whilst also showing us their love for their art… and a strong level of public support!

It should also be noted that – in yet another efficient move that is typical of this team – the same bench/litter has been used twice in a way that convincingly portrays the very real problem of litter occurring in multiple locations.

The signal has been sent, but the message is not yet complete. Students must also know that they are dealing with men of action, who address matters of life and death with even stronger looks of concern…

The Art of Looking Concerned – Picture 1d (original):
“Dennis Paul looks concerned and (determined to do something about) overgrown plants obscuring traffic signs.”

Dennis Paul looks concerned and (determined to do something about) overgrown plants obscuring traffic signs

Here the cause for concern is ‘overgrowth obscuring road signage’. The picture clearly shows the overgrowth, the sign and the level of obscurity, but watch Dennis for the true economy of this image.

It’s a life or death issue, so the direction of the cause for concern is taken as a given. Instead Dennis uses his hands to enhance his look of concern with a classic ‘beard-stroking’ gesture, and place a hand on one hip in order to let you know that he is a confident man, determined to take action.

The Art of Looking Concerned – Picture 1e (original):
“Mike Chambers expresses concern about faulty lighting as Dennis Paul and Cllr Sheila Kirkland look determined to do something about it.”

Mike Chambers looks concerned about faulty lighting as Dennis Paul and Cllr Sheila Kirkland look determined to do something about it

Here you can clearly see that Dennis Paul has passed on his knowledge to partner Mike Chambers, as the latter performs the devastatingly effective ‘beard-stroker’ solo, allowing Dennis and Conservative councillor for Onslow Sheila Kirkland to save themselves for a dual survey of the area, pointedly underlined by each of them using not one, but two hands on hips.

No directional gesture is necessary, as the clever use of shadow and Cllr Sheila Kirkland’s look off-camera (to an unseen and therefore more potent cause of concern) clearly conveys a sense of darkness and foreboding.

Just one look at this image, and you know that – come hell or high water, by hook or crook – a lightbulb is about to be changed.

The Conclusion

This is clearly the work of professional, close-knit team with a knowledge-sharing ethos.

Students at the University of Surrey would do well to think twice before crossing them again, lest questions start getting asked about the connections between their garbage-strewn campus, open-all-hours liquor licencing and local problems with youth crime.

UPDATE [20 Oct] – It’s full-on damage control! Dennis Paul has withdrawn the ‘attack on students’ articles (see comments) and made some cosmetic changes to the site that involve the removal of Anne Milton’s image for some strange reason. Meanwhile, Mike Chambers has gone charging into the USSU message boards to defend himself, but not before (God help us) trying to be funny first. Students like Teh Funny, yes they do… those groovy, hip nutters. It should be noted for the record that this incursion is Mike Chambers’ first post to the USSU messageboard for many a month. For some strange reason, Mike suddenly stopped posting there after this adventure.

UPDATE – He’s still at it! I don’t want to go charging in, especially as the boarders were so nice to me last time and they just want him to go away (if I butt in, he’ll go on and on and on and on), so I’ll say this here:

Mike, if you’re a smart man, you’ll know when to stop.

Posted by Tim Ireland at August 19, 2005

Category: Anne Milton

'Dennis Paul - local hero, campaigner and web designerFolks, I’d like you to meet Dennis Paul. Again.

Dennis Paul is a local campaigner for the Conservative Party who dreams of one day holding office. During the most recent election, he put out a misleading pamphlet that pandered to racism (it didn’t go out to everyone; only people who lived in certain areas). He and his wife also chipped in to help Anne Milton squeak to victory. (But Anne Milton would rather we didn’t mention that.)

Dennis is also an excellent web designer, who has cut and out of whole cloth. You will note on both sites that he repeats the mistake of resizing (HUGE!) images with HTML…. but it would appear that this is not his only bad habit.

You see, Dennis Paul (or perhaps one of his able assistants such as Mike Chambers) has a small problem with apostrophes. A few days ago, a campaigner for the Liberal Democrats – Chris Ward – noticed this when looking at Dennis Paul’s new discussion board. There is a very strong indication that all of the posts (under different names) – and many of those that abused the comments system at the Anne Milton weblog – are written by the same person. Posing as ordinary members of the public (a common tactic for the Milton team; 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6).

But there’s joy beyond this ‘tell’ and the very real prospect that a lot of online support for Anne Milton is one man talking to himself…

Dennis recently opened an online discussion room with all the security of a rusty screen door. It was soon sniffed out by spambots, who began to have their wicked way with his website.

Dennis Paul’s response was to blame “Lib Dem spammers” (his words)… before swiftly deleting the offending entry as part of what he claimed was a clean-up of spam. A message heading this discussion board still reads: Apologies for disruption caused by spam postings. My opponents seem hell bent on causing a nuisance. They are cleared regularly so you can browse articles and posts more effectively.

1) The spam is obviously automated dross that most of us are prone to from time to time… but Dennis Paul is especially prone to it because he is hopelessly inept as a web designer.

2) He is also either a liar, a jerk, and/or a delusional and paranoid jerk for claiming that Chinese ads for generic Viagra are part of an attack by Liberal Democrats.

I popped in to have my say and inevitably the conversation turned to his pandering to racism during the election. Most of the original entries are gone now, because Dennis likes to use the spam as an excuse to delete anything that disproves any of his claims or reveals him to be the duplicitous loner that he is. Here’s an exchange that was deleted yesterday:

Dennis Paul refuses to put up or shut up
From: Tim Ireland
Date: Thursday August 18, 2005
Time: 13:12
Comments: How curious that you’ve deleted the entries that: 1) Suggest yet again that it’s you, Dennis, making all of these posts from ‘genuine members of the public’ 2) Called upon you to make good on your threat to ‘take this further’ I’ve made my case. You’ve questioned it (and then requested that I make my case all over again). Are we going to court or not, Dennis? Put up or shut up.

Racism Smears
From: Dennis Paul
Date: Thursday August 18, 2005
Time: 13:20
Comments: Previous sparring bout of tittle tattle deleted – back to the serious claim. The submitter named as Tim Ireland complains of a “misleading pamphlet that pandered to racism and was deliberately sent only to impoverished areas” sent out in my name. This is similar to a claim made by the Liberal Democrats during the County Council election of 2005. As yet, the Liberal Democrats or Tim has yet to clarify or substantiate: a) whose racism I was pandering to; b) racism in what respect; c) their definition of an impoverished area. These claims may be seen by many as the politics of the gutter, smearing candidates with a racist brush for cheap political gain. Will they ever have the courage and sincerity to explain who the racists were I am alleged to have pandered to, where they live, and why they or I am racist…….I await the answer.

Re: Racism Smears
From: Tim Ireland
Date: Thursday August 18, 2005
Time: 13:31
Comments: I refuse to dance your little dance knowing that anytime I do make a valid point, you’ll delete the article. I’ve made my case and you have challenged it. Are we going to court or not?

This scenario was played out time and again as Dennis Paul continued to assert in new posts that I had failed to substantiate my claims, while he deleted any responses from me that did so and/or challenged him on his threat to ‘take things further’ with the authorities. (Chris Ward caught him at it over the ‘Lib Dem spammers’ claim and I have a few screengrabs of my own.)

I called him on his bluff time and again (on his joke of a discussion board and via direct email) and asked him when we were going to court. He responded by deleting every such post and ignoring every email. He then introduced a password system on the discussion board (that made his whole site fall over) before quickly giving up on the idea.

That was fun to watch, but the icing on the cake was the honour of a front-page story repeating his assertion that claims that he had pandered to racism for political gain had yet to be substantiated:

Cheap Claims of Racism Are Unsubstantiated (16/08/05)

Site visitors will note claims in my Discussion Room of a “misleading pamphlet that pandered to racism and was deliberately sent only to impoverished areas” sent out in my name during the 2005 County Election Campaign. This is similar to a claim made by Liberal Democrats during that same campaign.

My opponents submitting posts have yet to clarify or substantiate:

a) whose racism I was pandering to;
b) racism in what respect;
c) their definition of an impoverished area.

I cannot at this stage verify the identity of those making the claims, but they appear to be an attempt to smear my character with a racist brush for cheap political gain. Those who submit posts to my discussion room are responsible for their content and are invited to explain their rationale – this is not a threat, and incidentally, I have made no denial about the content of any leaflet bearing my name.

We are entitled to ask, will they ever have the courage or sincerity to explain who the racists are that I am alleged to have pandered to, the area where they live, and why they or I am racist…….I await the answer.

The thing is… he got his answer. Again and again and again. But he deleted each answer and pretended that no such answer was given. (Unless it was an answer on his terms; the way he’s trying to frame the argument suggests that he wants a ‘poor people of Guildford are inherently racist’ comment from me that he can pluck out of context and use as he pleases.)

This is another thing Dennis Paul has in common with the anonymous posters who have ‘contributed’ to the Anne Milton weblog. When asked to put up or shut up on any particular claim or accusation, they failed to put up… then failed to shut up.

Dennis Paul, I’m calling you out. I continue to maintain that you were directly involved with a misleading pamphlet that pandered to racism. If you have a problem with that, I suggest you make good on your threat to ‘take it further’.

I also maintain that you publish and moderate information on your website in a way that is grossly misleading, and shows a total lack of respect for the truth and the online community. Again, if you have a problem with that, you know what to do.

PS – Good luck deleting this. Jerk.

UPDATE – Dennis Paul’s site has a new message today. It reads: Coming soon…THE SEWER – Guildford’s very own gutter of bile, bull and hate that lies beneath…. (I smell a hatchet-job in the offing. We may end up in court after all.)

UPDATE 2 (20 Aug) – ‘The Sewer Tunnel’ is live. (Wait. Ignore that link. It’s recently been renamed and moved: Click here for ‘The Sewer’.) It’s a bunch of excerpts of stuff that has been said about him on my site and others (or by others on my site). If you ask me, the man has lost it. Maybe we can get him to quote the following:

Dennis Paul fribgiblet wibble-wobble farley-farley-farley on a lurgid bee.

Oh, and the main page for the online discussion room appears to have been removed. How will Dennis get by with no-one to talk to but himself? (No, wait…)

UPDATE 3 (20 Aug) – Oh dear. And he really should learn not to leech images from other websites.

UPDATE 4 (24 Aug) – Oh dear, oh dear. He now claims to have been hacked. Twice. (Details in comments.)

Posted by Tim Ireland at August 3, 2005

Category: Anne Milton

A victory of sorts over at the Anne Milton weblog. My local MP wasn’t promoting her advice surgeries. I made an issue of it. She responded with urgency bordering on the desperate.

Now all that remains is for the regular team of ‘impartial’ contributors to start bitching and moaning about how this disproves every point raised during the short campaign.

Posted by Tim Ireland at June 9, 2005

Category: Anne Milton

Anne Milton has once again proved herself to be a woman of action with genuine grass-roots support.

Posted by Tim Ireland at May 9, 2005

Category: Anne Milton

The fragrant Sandra Howard: The jeers of a few vocal protesters are drowned by the cheering. It’s a rousing reception. One deeply unpleasant man near me, called Anne a “Dipstick”; she says he’s been stalking her on his website as well. She’s the best woman for the job and deserves to win – and will!

1. There were dozens of protestors (Labour and UKIP), who were actually outnumbered by people who simply didn’t like Milton, Howard and/or the Tories in general.
2. Yes, I can see how objecting to the irresponsible use of racism and fear of disease would make me an unpleasant individual.
3. Nice use of the word ‘Dipstick’, though. Funny thing is, when I used the word, she accused me of using foul language.
4. Apparently scrutiny=stalking.
5. Anne was not the best woman for the job, she didn’t deserve to win, but win she did.

So the work will continue at the Anne Milton weblog, where several Miltonites, emboldened by the win, have suddenly found a voice and turned up to make a few comments. In their minds, Milton’s squeaking past the post means that every method she used in order to pull it off is justified and/or magically fades away. Or never happened in the first place. Give them a couple of weeks, and they’ll interrupt new material that develops from ongoing scrutiny to ask why I keep dwelling on the past.

  • NEW! You can now support Bloggerheads by buying handmade firelighters for camping and utility or deluxe firelighters for your home fireplace. Visit to see my products.

    Fire Burn Good fire lighters

  • External Channels

  • Tim Ireland

  • Page 3 Politics

    Page 3: a short history

  • Main

  • Archives

  • Categories

  • The Cautionary Campfire Songbook

    The Cautionary Campfire Songbook

  • Badges + Buttons