Archive for the ‘UK General Election 2005’ Category

Posted by Tim Ireland at May 4, 2005

Category: UK General Election 2005

See constituencies in their estimated declaration time order.

Enter our competition and win by using The Forbidden Word.

Read and share this.

Appreciate the joy of serendipity. (More here.)

Marvel at the ingenuity.

Laugh at Rodney Hylton-Potts (1, 2) and the success of his campaign.

Read and share this.

Read my final pre-election message to my local constituency.

Take part in the final push.

And, finally, enjoy the following picture:

PS – Sorry for lack of hat-tips. I had to scrape most of this together in a hurry from my history file.

Posted by Tim Ireland at May 4, 2005

Category: Page 3 - News in Briefs, Tony 'King Blair, UK General Election 2005

UPDATE (10 Jan 2006): Click here for the ‘give respect, get respect’ campaign.

1. Michael Howard is due to patrol Guildford High St from 10:30am this morning. If you’re in the area, I have a small favour to ask.

2. You know I can’t resist saying “I told you so!”

Nudge, wink, vote!3. The Scum have come out in support of Blair with a front page, interview, and editorial that declares he is worthy of your vote because he is a “decent, caring family man”… with a large cock that he can put to good use up to 5 times a night. I kid you not. The article only appears in the newspaper, but here’s a juicy excerpt from the interview:

CB: Oh come on Tony, strip off. Let’s see that fit body we’ve been talking about.
TB: You can keep your hands to yourself, Cherie!
Scum: So how fit are you Tony?
CB: Very!
Scum: What, at least five times a night?
TB: At least, I can do it more depending on how I feel.
Scum: Are you always up to it?
CB: He always is!
TB: Right that’s enough – interview over. And I’m not doing any kissing pictures! Come on, woman, time to cook my dinner.

This is not a joke, people. This is an actual excerpt from the interview. Sadly, the Page 3 girl fails to focus on that lovely, lovely cock and instead wraps her legs around Tony’s family cred…

Today Ruth (22, from Kent) thinks it’s heart-warming that Tony and Cherie have such a strong, loving marriage. She says: “It can only be good for Britain – a stable Prime Minister means a stable country.”

Actually, that’s not a bad maxim. Too bad it falls over when you consider that Blair will continue to be a liability after the election.

He was on Radio 4 this morning pushing the line (again) that September 11 changed everything; therefore he felt he had to take action to stop the proliferation of WMDs. Starting with Iraq. But Iraq was such a failure in terms of logistics and public trust that he’s now nobbled if he wishes to tackle the further threats that he lists (Iran, North Korea etc.), so even if you take this argument at face value, Blair still looks like a failure and a liability. Because of the way he handled matters over Iraq, there is no way he’s going to be able convince the British people to get involved in armed conflict over such threats, be they alleged, possible, theoretical or actual.

But don’t let that stop you from thinking about his enormous cock.

Posted by Tim Ireland at May 3, 2005

Category: UK General Election 2005

Go, CuriousHamster, go!

Just because it’s in the news doesn’t mean we can afford to relax.

Use the forbidden word to win cash and prizes!

Last video from BB headed your way soon. Cheers all.

Posted by Tim Ireland at May 2, 2005

Category: UK General Election 2005

Get down and get funky!

Get some background.

Show Straw the door.

Posted by Tim Ireland at April 30, 2005

Category: UK General Election 2005

Nick Barlow – Tony Blair: Liar

Independent – Vote for Lib Dems will not let in Tories: Labour’s attempts to warn its wavering supporters that a vote for the Liberal Democrats could allow Michael Howard into No. 10 “by the back door” was undermined yesterday in a detailed study carried out for The Independent. The study found that a swing of 11.5 per cent from Labour voters to the Liberal Democrats could deprive Mr Blair of his overall Commons majority but it would be virtually impossible for such defections – at even twice that rate – to let in the Conservatives to form a government.

Posted by Tim Ireland at April 28, 2005

Category: UK General Election 2005

More eggy goodnessYou should be too. Please do this.

Then see what is being hidden from you.

And, when you’re done with that, please do some of this.

Busy as I am, I managed to egg myself silly this afternoon (see pic). More is on the way. Plus a groovy article about terror and (with luck) one final Flash music video. Stay tuned.

I submitted a Subject Access Form to the Labour Party on 10/03/05. The Data Protection Act allows a 40-day period in which to process such requests for information. This deadline passed over a week ago and Melanie Onn, the Constitutional and Legal Officer for the Legal and Financial Compliance Taskforce for the Labour Party has been dodging my calls and ignoring my emails for 2 days now. If she manages to dodge me again tomorrow, then the weekend (and Bank Holiday on Monday) will pass, and I will have only 3 days in which to contact her.

Even if this conversation takes place and results in a promise of delivery of the data that I have a right to (that is now over a week overdue), this data will take at least a day to reach me, and the earliest I can expect it is May 4th. That’s best-case scenario, folks.

I think it’s pretty clear what is going on here. I’m sure the Labour Party will be more than happy to take the requisite slap on the wrist from the Information Commissioner’s Office after the election has passed us by.

PS – Here’s a ‘damp squib’ for you.

UPDATE (9:26am 29 April) – I tried to reach Melanie Onn again this morning, but was advised by communications advisor Rupert Jones that she was out campaigning. Instead of focusing on her role as Constitutional and Legal Officer. So I asked to speak to someone else on the Legal and Financial Compliance Taskforce. No dice, sorry. They’re all out and about, too. Instead of doing their bloody job! So I asked to speak to whoever oversees the Legal and Financial Compliance Taskforce.

Finally, I was briefly put on hold and then told by Rupert Jones that “the matter I was calling about had been dealt with”.

Oh, really? So where was my data? When was it sent? The best I could get was an assumption that it had be mailed yesterday.

Please note that I did not get this assurance without having to push for it. They would have been just as happy to have me try to get back in touch on Tuesday.

UPDATE (10:43am 30 April) – By gum, they delivered! 10 days late, and only after I badgered them. And what did they deliver? Half-a-page of data relating to my subscription to their email newsletter. And that’s it. Well, not even that, really. When I say ‘half-a-page’, I mean more like a full page, but with the text cut in half on every line so as to make the data meaningless. There’s more, but you’ll need to wait for bit while I get my ducks in a row (I do love it when they argue).

Posted by Tim Ireland at April 27, 2005

Category: UK General Election 2005

Brian Sedgemore: ‘I urge everyone to give Blair a bloody nose at the election’

Nick Barlow – Crossing the floor

Chicken Yoghurt – Sedgemore: Twenty-two Years of Solicitude: So there you go – 22 years of looking after constituents. Granted, he didn’t reach the glamorous, heady heights of bombing women and children or privatising public services, but somebody remembers this man of “of neither ability nor attainment” with a degree of fondness and hasn’t dismissed 22 years of service with a “who?”.

Independent – Defection rocks morale in Labour marginals: Just as their morale was rising along with Labour’s poll ratings, party chiefs have been stunned by Brian Sedgemore’s defection to the Liberal Democrats. And it appalled Labour candidates in marginal seats faced with the tricky task of talking round voters considering switching support to Charles Kennedy’s party.

Scotsman – Defector says more MPs set to quit Labour: Despite Mr Sedgemore’s prediction of further defections after the elections, Labour “rebels” last night were keeping quiet about their intentions. None contacted by The Scotsman was willing to admit that they would jump ship to the Liberal Democrats…. any rebellion is likely to manifest itself after polling day. Many rebels are waiting for the handover of power to Gordon Brown before deciding whether the Chancellor, as fellow architect of New Labour, will repent and return the party to its roots.

Related: Bigger Than Blair

Pardon the link-dump-ness. Busy man here. Let’s move on to the repeated offer of nose-pegs for the needy…

Polly Tonybee – Snap yourself with a nose peg

Robin Grant – Angry Labour voters don’t care for Polly Toynbee and her f**king nose pegs

Both of these links, the arguments they prompt, and the very familiar words “send a message” that have begun to spill from Michael Howard’s mouth will, eventually, lead you here…

Cheryl Kernot – The master of the dog whistle

Meanwhile, the world’s greatest opportunist springs into action…

Guardian – Tories focus on Blair lies claim

And, yes, I *do* have a word or two to say about that.

More soon. Promise.

UPDATE – The camera never lies.

Posted by Tim Ireland at April 25, 2005

Category: UK General Election 2005

Eggs!Well done, Curious Hamster!

This one word, scrawled into the beach with a size-11 boot, will probably have had three stages of life:
1) Where people watched the scrawling
2) Where people saw the word
3) Where people saw someone rubbing the word out

All three stages are valuable and pertinent, so well done!

As one of the judges in our ‘four letter word’ competition, I’m not allowed to win anything… but that doesn’t stop me from taking part!

This morning I was listening to Jack Straw do everything he could to avoid answering John Humphrys and it struck me that – after about the 12th “with respect” from Straw – that John Prescott would have handled it much better.

Then it hit me (so to speak)…

Eggs! Omelettes! Iraq!

Eggs are wonderfully versatile things. Left in random/unlikely locations, they become wonderfully curious things

Eggs on the loose!So this morning, I went to Toys R Us and snapped up this child’s stamp/printing set for the bargain price of 5 squid (this kit includes some great large-scale letters, complete with handles).

Then I went to my local stationers for a large red-ink stamp pad.

Then I went to the supermarket and picked up a bunch of eggs (that – as chance would have it – had a ‘Use By’ date of May 5).

After some careful stamping, I spent a happy hour or so distributing my eggs.

And tomorrow, I plan to stamp and distribute some more.

I may even get cheeky and label a few ‘Prescott’.


Posted by Tim Ireland at April 25, 2005

Category: UK General Election 2005

Liberal Democrats Call For Full Public Inquiry Into Iraq War (i.e. the kind of inquiry Jack Straw seemed to suggest had happened four times over but has yet to take place).

Independent – A government at bay over Iraq war legality: The Iraq war was thrust to the top of the election agenda last night after the Attorney General’s advice to the Prime Minister over the legality of the conflict was leaked. The leak sparked the most bitter personal attacks on Mr Blair of the campaign so far with Michael Howard, the Tory leader, calling the Prime Minister a “liar”. Charles Kennedy, the Liberal Democrat leader, said it would put trust in Mr Blair at the heart of the election and turn the contest into a referendum on Mr Blair’s integrity.

Guardian – Blair’s evasions will catch up with him: There’s nothing new in it, government ministers said yesterday as they responded to an apparent leak of the attorney general’s advice on the legality of the war. That’s the best they could do on an issue that, not surprisingly, they have tried so desperately to suppress during the election campaign.

Independent – Goldsmith told Blair ‘war could be illegal’: Robin Cook, the former foreign secretary who resigned in protest as Leader of the Commons over the war in Iraq, said: “Many weeks ago, I urged the Government to publish the advice and said at the time that it was inevitable that it was going to become public. I deeply regret that the Government has left this issue to fester, to the point at which it has become public at the worst possible moment for the Government. They should’ve done it in their own time, and made a clean breast of it.”

And so it begins…

UPDATE – Edited transcript of Jack Straw dancing on Radio 4

Posted by Tim Ireland at April 25, 2005

Category: UK General Election 2005

Dawn Butler, the freshly parachuted Labour candidate for Brent South, is getting a bit ahead of herself.

UPDATE – The offending page has been removed. Good thing Guido got a screengrab, then.

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