We buried our first pet today

Humphrey was an acrobatic hamster with an enviable lust for life. He will be missed.








Posted in Updates | 2 Comments

World Weary Detective calls it quits

World Weary Detective – This is the End: I have committed no crime. I have compromised no police operations. I have received no payment for anything published on this blog. All opinions expressed are my own. It is therefore with deep regret and great sadness that I must announce that I will no longer be submitting posts to this blog. I cannot challenge New Scotland Yard. I am weary indeed and cowardice is my bedmate. The protection of my family must take precedence. To each and every one of you – take note of what has happened here and be afraid.

(Cheers to Seamus O’Blimey for the heads-up.)

Bob Piper’s comment is worth highlighting: WWD, I think you should continue. You do not publish defamatory material, offensive or inappropriate remarks or anything which would compromise operations. You give people a valuable insight into what a bloody difficult job you have. At times ‘lefties’ like me need a reminder about some of the complex duties the police have to carry out.

… but I think that if WWD judges this development to be too great a risk (or perhaps a veiled threat) then we should respect the call.








Posted in The Political Weblog Movement | 1 Comment

The Legislative and Regulatory Reform Bill must die!

Pardon the ‘copy + paste’, but this is the best round-up of the Legislative and Regulatory Reform Bill monster that I’ve seen to date. Highlights are mine, further reading is below, and if you have any doubts about how this act will be used abused, then click here.

Simon Carr – Now we can all make laws (if our faces fit)

We mustn’t overstate these things because they’re quite important enough as they are. Suffice it to say that the entire British constitutional settlement is being overturned in Standing Committee A by one of the most junior and inexperienced ministers, the stand-in for the Duchy of Lancaster.

Jim Murphy’s probably a nice young fellow but by no means, in the language of the day, fit for purpose.

The Legislative and Regulatory Reform Bill going through its stages is a New Labour masterpiece. It was conceived to “remove burdens” from over-regulated citizens. Towards the end of the drafting process, some brilliant Whitehall Olly reasoned thus: “Why should ministers have fewer rights than ordinary citizens? Don’t ministers deserve to have their burdens relieved too?” No contrary argument could be found. As a result, ministers are now being given powers to amend any laws they like without the burden of parliamentary approval.

In the most perverse of consequences, the Bill to remove regulations has made it infinitely easier for ministers to pass them.

I’ve been along to three of these committee meetings over the past week and am more and more surprised at each outing. Jim Murphy offers long and detailed assurances about how the Act will and won’t be used. When asked to put these assurances into the Bill, he refuses. Ministerial assurances at the despatch box have the legal status of intestinal afflatus so you would be wrong to be reassured.

Jim Murphy buries himself ostentatiously in his brief, frequently refuses to take interventions (“I want to make progress”), and dismisses fundamental arguments against the Bill as “debating points”.

As a result of his approach, ministers will be empowered to amend any and every sort of law from habeas corpus to what they are going to put on your ID card.

“A person” is to get legislative powers. Anyone. If you are in the circle. The minister will be able to offer you the power to make laws. Maybe they’ll be outsourcing to Bangalore. Maybe they’ll let the TUC write employment regulations. Maybe the incoming government will let Rupert Murdoch write the takeover code.

There are safeguards. “Controversial” legislation won’t be eligible for the “abbreviated procedure”. But who decides if it’s controversial? The minister. But there will be public consultation? The minister will assess, interpret and present the responses and doesn’t have to abide by the result anyway. Certain select committees may (that’s not a will) have a power of veto – but select committees are appointed by the whips and they have government majorities.

And for any talk of safeguards, the Bill can be used to amend itself, abolishing anything in it the minister wishes.

Turn your face to the wall, oh you democrats, and say goodnight nicely.

Further reading:
Spy Blog – Legislative and Regulatory Reform Bill – arbitrary powers for Ministers by Order, no exempt Acts, no full public consultation no detailed scrutiny by Parliament
Guardian – Reform bill could ‘sweep away parliamentary debate’
The Times – Who wants the Abolition of Parliament Bill?
Observer – How we move ever closer to becoming a totalitarian state
Tim Worstall – BCC and The Abolition of Parliament Bill

Now… find out more and find out what you can do about it.

UPDATE – I have decided to name this little monster LaRRaBee, after the Chief’s able assistant in Get Smart.

UPDATE – Save Parliament! Stop the Legislative and Regulatory Reform Bill!








Posted in Tony 'King Blair | 8 Comments

All your ports are belong to us

AP – Thousands of Federal Trials Kept Secret: Despite the Sixth Amendment’s guarantee of public trials, nearly all records are being kept secret for more than 5,000 defendants who completed their journey through the federal courts over the last three years. Instances of such secrecy more than doubled from 2003 to 2005… The data show a sharp increase in secret case files over time as the Bush administration’s well-documented reliance on secrecy in the executive branch has crept into the federal courts through the war on drugs, anti-terrorism efforts and other criminal matters.

A culture of secrecy is wonderful way to hide criminal acts, negligence, and/or acts of criminal negligence… three things we’ve come to expect from this administration on a frighteningly regular basis. Hell, even hardcore Republicans have had enough…

ABC – White House: Bush Played No Role In Ports Contract: President Bush has been trying to quell a bipartisan backlash over a commercial deal which would see an Arab company run the operations of six major US ports. Mr Bush is facing opposition over the issue from his own Republican Party leaders in both the House of Representatives and the Senate. And while he hasn’t used his veto power during his five years in office, he is now threatening to use it on any legislation that blocks the deal.

The Daily Show has this same story, and includes Teh Funneh. Click for video.

See also: Time – How Much the Ports Storm Is Costing Bush








Posted in George W. Bush | Comments Off on All your ports are belong to us

Mark Pritchard is a witless buffoon

Mark Pritchard – The Blog – Data Protection Act? pah: So how is this keeping my data in the strictest confidence in accordance with the DATA protection act? Because our inept MP can’t manage to stick his emails in the right Send To Box over 200 people now have my email address. This from a man who wants the government to appoint a Cyber Security Tsar

A classic beginner’s mistake. What a tool.








Posted in The Political Weblog Movement | Comments Off on Mark Pritchard is a witless buffoon

Tessa Jowell can do no wrong III

There’s a glorious letter in the Independent today. It makes me want to learn more about the author:

Sir: It gets more like the Colosseum every day. I am increasingly sickened by watching the gutter press behaving like the lions.

Tessa Jowell is my MP, and a very good one. I don’t know enough to condemn her or not but I know that the way certain sections of the Press are handling things is appalling. It’s a kind of torture by media. We’re used to trial by media, but this is different.

EMMA HITCHCOCK
LONDON SE24

UPDATE – A liitle bird tells me that BT has no record of an Emma Hitchcock (nor any E. Hitchcock) living in SE24. Or anywhere in London, for that matter. Electoral rolls, anyone? I simply must know who’s responsible for the glorious spin of ‘torture by media’… such genius deserves to be rewarded.

UPDATE – Electoral rolls from 2001-2006 checked and re-checked, and still no E Hitchcock. I think we have a ringer.








Posted in Tony 'King Blair | 4 Comments

Investing in Tessa

They *are* charmers over at Bloggers4Labour, aren’t they?

And now… a joke of the funny variety. (via)

UPDATE – Oh dear. Full support of the PM. Ruth Kelly survived the kiss of death… will Tessa?








Posted in Tony 'King Blair | Comments Off on Investing in Tessa

Any resemblance to persons living or dead is purely coincidental

The Sun – Are you next JK Rowling? (March 2, 2006): Today is World Book Day – and to celebrate The Sun is launching a search for the new JK Rowling. We are looking for an undiscovered writing genius among our army of ten million readers. Could YOU have a previously untapped talent for telling a story? Your masterpiece can be up to 1,000 words and on any subject as long as it is your original work. Judges will be Sun columnists and best-selling authors Jane Moore and Jeremy Clarkson. They will pick winners in two categories – under-16 and 16 and over. The best stories will be published in The Sun and there are fabulous prizes for the winners… SEND your story to: Get Britain Reading, The Sun, 1 Virginia Street, London E98 1SN. Or you can email it to features@the-sun.co.uk Remember to put ‘Get Britain Reading’ in the subject field. You must include your name, address, age and daytime phone number. Entries must be no longer than 1,000 words. Closing date is March 20, 2006.

How could one possibly resist?

Here is my 686-word entry. I look forward to seeing it in print…

Chilling

by Tim Ireland

The cold of the bench in the barren cell penetrated her overcoat and the flimsy party dress beneath it, chilling and numbing her genitalia.

The irony was not lost on her; it was her inability to feel anything below the waist (or, indeed, allow herself to be penetrated) that led to this whole mess in the first place.

She shifted her weight to allow the cold to weave its way into her sexual innards and smiled with grim satisfaction.

This was the way of the world for her, and she would embrace it willingly. Her fate, not unlike the cold bench that was to be her mate for the evening, was set in stone.

She sat.

She chilled.

She planned her revenge.

A mere three hours ago, she had been coked up to the eyeballs in yet another foolish attempt to stimulate or simulate a warming emotion, and the result – as usual – had been an icy rage. Then, revenge was to have been a carving knife plunged deep into the chest of her significant other, but this was denied her.

Pah! ‘Significant other’…. she loathed the words and their politically-correct origins, but the English language provided no description beyond this and the even more unsuitable options of ‘husband’ or ‘partner’.

‘Other’ was totally suitable in itself, in that he could feel passion for others of his kind. Others unlike her.

But ‘significant’?

When her rage was at its height, he had cowered in a corner and called the police. The police!

Long ago she had come to accept that she was not like other human beings, but she had drawn strength from the knowledge that this was because she was born to be set apart as their leader, not an outcast.

To be bundled into a police car by a uniformed sheep with the ‘law’ on his side was therefore the ultimate indignity. It was insulting to think that she had no choice but to play along and allow the morning light to reveal the truth… that these so-called laws did not apply to her.

Once again, she felt the knife in her hand, heard it slice through the air and felt it carve through flesh and glance off bone as it buried itself to the hilt in his chest. Teasing the blade, she felt the satisfying resistance as it scraped against his ribs. She looked into his eyes as they bulged in disbelief, before twisting the blade hard and finally withdrawing it so she could revel in the gushing fountain of blood warming her face.

She smiled again, this time at her own weakness.

She stood for a moment, swept the tails of her overcoat to one side, and sat once again to better embrace the cold.

There were other ways to carve the heart from his chest. That which made him ‘other’ to her involved two significant weaknesses:

One; while she was forced to manufacture emotion, he was a slave to it.

Two; that which stirred his emotion sickened not just herself, but also many lesser human beings.

She could not simply cast a bright light upon it all; that would most likely compromise her secret as much as his. But she could take the time to coldly and cruelly torture him in the dark and he would be helpless against her.

Yes.

Yes, that was the answer.

The men he lusted after were young; young, and therefore malleable. She would crawl beneath their skin, one by one, and turn their passion to other men. Significant men.

This time it would be he who returned home to find his inner sanctum violated.

This time it would be he who returned home to see passion flaunted before him… and feel passion denied him.

And she would engineer this time and time again until – finally – it would be he who reached for the carefully-placed knife.

Then he would learn the true difference between them.

The cell door opened as the morning brought freedom. For the first time in a long time, she felt a warm emotion wash over her. It was hope.

UPDATE (26 Feb 2007) – Finally, the results are announced!








Posted in Rupert 'The Evil One' Murdoch | 3 Comments

Let’s show them how it should be done

Amnesty International – Iraq: Thousands of detainees denied their basic rights: Thousands of detainees being held by the US-led Multinational Force (MNF) in Iraq are trapped in a system of arbitrary detention that denies them their basic rights, Amnesty International said in a report published today. At the same time, there is increasing evidence of torture of detainees by the Iraqi security forces that the MNF underpins.

Well, it’s a jolly good thing that we have the moral authority required to…

Oh. Sorry.








Posted in It's War! It's Legal! It's Lovely! | Comments Off on Let’s show them how it should be done

Lest ye be judged

OK, I’ve watched the interview and have seen/heard the quote in context. I’ve gazed into those tear-filled puppy-dog eyes and have come to the following conclusion;

Tony Blair did not state that Yahweh told him to invade Iraq. Rather, he generously credited Yahweh with being part of the decision-making process.

My immediate reaction was to wonder whether he considered Yahweh to be part of the decision-making process when he decided to turn a blind eye to people being boiled alive and raped with broken bottles.

Let us see what the morning papers bring.

PS – Thank you to CuriousHamster for pointing out that a lightning bolt was mine to command; I had but to look for it.

UPDATE – God’s judgement leaked! Another startling scoop for The Scum!








Posted in Christ... | Comments Off on Lest ye be judged