16-31 October, 2003

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Date
20031016

Time
09:31
Some guy in America caught a ball or something…

ABC News: We don’t know his name. We don’t want to know his name. We hope no one in Chicago ever learns his name.

Smoking Gun: Meet Steve Bartman.

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Date
20031016

Time
09:33
Sorry, my connection is painfully slow this morning. With you in a jiffy.

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Date
20031016
It’s War! And Somebody’s Telling Porkies!
Time
10:22
CBS News: Colin Powell told us lies.

Washington Post: Fox News sold us lies.

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Date
20031016

Time
10:25
Fijian Tribe : Sorry we ate your vicar while he was visiting.

Family puppy: Sorry, I knawed off Junior’s fingers while he was sleeping.

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Date
20031016

Time
10:31
George W Bush: I am deliberately targeting regional media.

US Army: We did not deliberately target regional media.

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Date
20031016

Time
10:38
If you haven’t visited The Memory Hole recently, then do so today.

All sorts of interested stuff is cropping up lately, including the following, listed in their ongoing series of soft-pedalled stories:

Australian PM John Howard has been censured by the Senate for misleading the public in his justification for sending Australia to war with Iraq.

The London New Review Journal also has its teeth sunk into something soft and juicy: an old article from 1998 by George Bush Snr. and Brent Scowcroft explains why the US didn’t attempt to oust Saddam and occupy Iraq following the Gulf War (and this follow-up pretty much nails the scan as genuine):

“Going in and occupying Iraq, thus unilaterally exceeding the U.N.’s mandate, would have destroyed the precedent of international response to aggression we hoped to establish. Had we gone the invasion route, the U.S. could conceivably still be an occupying power in a bitterly hostile land.”

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Date
20031016

Time
10:54
Don’t follow this link. It will lead you to the new archive of still images at britishpathe.com that is currently being crushed by overwhelming demand. Bookmark it for later. If you need something to tide you over, this small preview at the BBC website should tide you over.

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Date
20031016

Time
11:00
Personal publishing, community sites, and online newspaper archives make it extremely easy to catch up on old friends and acquaintances with no more than a quick Googling – but what happens if you find out they died years ago without bothering to tell you?

This makes me wonder if anyone will bother to store and display Bloggerheads in its entirety long after I’m gone.

Unlikely.

Equally unlikely is any kind of showing in The Guardian’s weblog competition.

FunJunkie have their category list. Here’s mine:

Best Design: You’ve seen the archives, yes?

Best Specialist (which applies to any blog about a single topic): A single topic? Here? Hmmm, let me see… marketing, politics, religion… um.. weblogs?

Best Under 18: Maybe in dog years

Best Use of Photography: For one brief, shining moment I thought this was Best Use of Pornography. Oh well.

Best Written: Modesty forbids me.

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Date
20031016

Time
11:20
Wordlab takes a look at Abbey National’s very expensive rebranding effort.

A lesson I learned a long, long, time ago: the bank that plays on your emotions the most is the one that you should trust the least.

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Date
20031016
The End of Democracy
Time
11:27
The Independent’s excellent expose on Republican-controlled e-voting still hasn’t broken as a story in the US.

Watch what bloggers are saying about it here and here.

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Date
20031016
Video
Time
13:17
I got very, very excited when I first found Retromedia (via The Ultimate Insult). Then I saw this:

“All Retromedia.tv video clips are Real Media”

I removed RealPlayer (or RealOnePLayer whatever the heck they’re calling it these days) from my system a long time ago, and it will never – ever – go anywhere near one of my hard drives again.

Still, if you have it on your system, it may just hold together long enough for you to enjoy one or two clips from what looks like an excellent collection.

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Date
20031016

Time
13:26
Meet William “Jerry” Boykin, one of Bush’s key generals in the war on terror.

Here are his views on George Jnr.:

“Why is this man in the White House? The majority of Americans did not vote for him. Why is he there? And I tell you this morning that he’s in the White House because God put him there for a time such as this.”

!

They’re equally dumbstruck over at Eschaton.

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Date
20031016

Time
15:33
A child’s view of the Iraq war.

UPDATE – You’ll have to excuse me. I thought this image required a minor adjustment.

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Date
20031016
Search Engine Optimisation
Time
18:05
My second SEO seminar is tomorrow. Bloggage will be light as a result.

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Date
20031017
Weapons of Mass Distraction
Time
18:37
I find The Sun’s ‘Shop a Yob’ campaign to be obscene.

This is yet another case of Rupert Murdoch doing his best to keep the populace busy while Blair gets away with lie after lie after lie.

Interesting also that they’ve found the perfect poster child in Michael Carroll.

I bet I can name someone richer than Michael who does more damage to society on a daily basis.

You should read up on Sun editor Rebekah Wade a bit, too. A dangerous woman in a very influential position.

In fact, ‘Shop a Yob’ angered me so much that I simply had to make the following poster as therapy.

You can get yourself a nice, large copy for your home or workplace by clicking here.

Download, print, display and enjoy.

I know it made me feel a heck of a lot better (and if you like, I can do a new one for Murdoch on Monday).

Cheers all.

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Date
20031020
Can Weblogs…? – Baring Your Bum at Bush
Time
09:54
Telegraph: Plans for the Queen and George W Bush to make a triumphant procession along the Mall during the president’s state visit next month have been abandoned because of fears of anti-war protests.

Bush has had to drop plans to address Parliament. He was going to bring his bulletproof Cadillac along, but now it looks like he’ll have to travel by helicopter everywhere. If indeed, there is anywhere left to go once we’re through with him.

One step at a time, folks. One step at a time. He may even cancel (no doubt blaming an unspecified terrorist threat) if this kind of thing keeps up:

In Thailand, the spirit of George W Bush has been trapped in a clay pot and tossed into a river after being cursed by hundreds of farmers.

He’s due in Australia in a couple of days. Give him hell.

UPDATE – Hmmm. Travel by helicopter. Sounds like we should be painting a few rooftops…

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Date
20031020
Anyone but George
Time
10:00
Finally, a leader we can believe in.

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Date
20031020

Time
10:01
What? More Bush? Sorry, folks – but I simply can’t let this one pass:

Bush Sr.’s ‘message’ to Bush Jr.

The 2003 George Bush Award for Excellence in Public Service is to be awarded to anti-Iraq war Democrat Ted Kennedy.

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Date
20031020
Flash Games
Time
10:06
Indiana Jones and the Lawsuit Waiting To Happen! Play it while you can…

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Date
20031020
Rupert ‘The Evil One’ Murdoch
Time
10:12
Friday’s ‘Shop a Nob’ turned out to be pretty popular, so here – as promised – is a Murdoch follow-up.

There’s a large version for printing and displaying here.

Enjoy.

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Date
20031020
Tony Blair’s Email
Time
10:17
Blair’s heart problem dominates papers.

You know where to send your get-well messages, right? I know it’s been a bad year, but please try to be nice. When the irregular heartbeat thingie was mentioned in the pub last night, I almost got lynched for muttering; “Well, maybe if he used the bloody thing more often…”

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Date
20031020

Time
10:32
This is probably all you’ll see out of me today. I’m busy as all hell.

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Date
20031020

Time
12:01
Bloody hell. They’ll get us all microchipped one way or another…

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Date
20031020
The End of Democracy
Time
12:54
Still no mainstream coverage in the US about Republican/corporate-controlled e-voting. Oh well. At least they know about it in New Zealand.

Perhaps Diebold’s reputation for ‘zero tolerance’ has something to do with it:

Slashdot: Diebold issues Cease and desist notice to upstream provider of San Francisco Indymedia for having links to mirrors of leaked internal memo.

Sydney Morning Herald: EFF to defend Indymedia and its providers against claims of indirect copyright infringement made by Diebold.

Oh, and while I’ve got your attention, Arnie has found the time to appear in one small movie before taking office:

The Rise of The Digital Voting Machines

UPDATE – This is the link you’ll be wanting to share today.

Cheers all.

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Date
20031020

Time
13:32
Wahey! Thanks to offmessage for this marvellous discovery:

MIT researchers plan online database to help citizens track the activities of government organisations.

An early version of the system is here. Bookmark it.

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Date
20031020

Time
15:13
I’m sure the folks at Jali won’t mind if I have a public smirk at their helpful guide to using the Interwebnet.

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Date
20031020

Time
15:18
A Polaroid photography project that deserves to go on and on and on and on and on and… (link via Rogi)

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Date
20031020
Shop a Nob
Time
17:10
Shop a Nob now has its own special page. I’m going to be very busy this week, but I may have time to knock out a few more based on your nominations. You know the address…

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Date
20031020
Photoshopping
Time
17:31
Get your work on the cover of The Face.

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Date
20031020

Time
17:32
Remember Franks Burns ranting into his walkie-talkie in the classic M*A*S*H episode The Bus?

“I’ve got the enemy, sir! I can hear their secrets!”

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Date
20031021
Emailing Tony
Time
09:17

Dear Tony,

Two things occurred to me this morning:

1 – There are still a few nutters who are convinced that tony-blair@prime-minister.co.uk is your real email address, and they continue to hammer this address with all sorts of garbage on a semi-daily basis (as they have done over the past 18 months). I haven’t forwarded any of these emails in the past, and I certainly have no plans to direct them to the new email facility, as they’ll only eat up valuable bandwidth and manpower.

Oops – speak of the devil. I just now received an email from one of your regulars. Here’s a sample of what you’re missing out on:

“To have peace, Israel must defeat the Arab Muslims in war, because the Arabs Muslims don’t want peace.”

2 – Rather than simply demand the introduction of an email facility, I did my best to actually specify a system that would be useful not only to web users, but also your good self. Your IT team has shamelessly ripped of these specifications and claimed the credit. To tell the truth, I expected no less of them, but all the same a little bloody gratitude wouldn’t go astray.

I figure both of the above factors give me the right to – for a while at least – drop you an email on a regular basis to let you know what’s going on in the world and bug you with a few things that keep me awake at night.

First of all, I’d like to express my concern for your health and well-being. I arrived in the UK in 1998 and since then you appear to have aged in dog years before my very eyes. Your recent heart scare may be part of this, or it may not. On Sunday night, I watched a bit of them cutting Blaine loose from his little Perspex box. Watching the footage of those who attended this stunt on a regular basis and reading the signs they erected in support (“David Your A Star!”) was amusing in itself, but when Blaine stood up and said that he learned to appreciate all the simple things in life like “a smile from a strange one” I damn near had a fit. Is this what happened to you?

Oh, I read that Blaine was playing chess with some homeless guy throughout. Here’s a link that tells the story of how this started – and why it stopped:

http://headlessness.com/belowtheabove.htm

While we’re mentioning links, here’s another one that might interest you… Microsoft has announced ‘leak-proof’ e-mail. As the article notes, this may help to avoid another Jo Moore incident – or it may not. We *are* talking about Microsoft Screendoor Technology here:

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/business/3205080.stm

Also on the technology front, you may wish to keep your distance from George W Bush. I’ll talk about his upcoming visit in another email, but in the meantime you do need to be aware that he and his corporate mates are about to get done for major electoral fraud. The many Republican connections of the main company involved – Diebold – are interesting, as are the many shortcomings of the system itself. When we get e-voting in the UK, will the technology be provided by Diebold, or by a more reliable and impartial company such as Capita?

http://news.independent.co.uk/world/americas/story.jsp?story=452972

http://silicon.com/news/500022/1/6368.html

I watched the announcement of the top 21 books from The Big Read with interest. Someone suggested that I run a campaign to ensure high placement for George Orwell’s Nineteen Eighty-Four, but to be honest it was more important to me that the book be judged fairly on its own merit. It may not be the best book, but in the times we live in, it certainly is the most important. I was disappointed that they chose Jo bloody Brand as the book’s champion and played the Big Brother theme over most of the presentation. It all seemed so cheap, tawdry and misguided. As anybody who has read the book will know, the hijacking of Big Brother’s image as entertainment that actually trains us to watch other people is pretty damn ironic.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/arts/bigread/vote/

It also encourages the cult of celebrity that’s doing society so much damage at the moment. A lot of kids are growing up with the impression that fame for its own sake is a worthy aspiration. God forbid they should want to actually achieve anything first. I read some interesting thoughts that dallied on this subject in Pravda this morning, and though you might enjoy it:

http://english.pravda.ru/mailbox/22/98/387/11109_politics.html

(BTW, your fake email address gets an awful amount of spam from Russia. I’m not quite sure why, but if you ever need drugs that will make your penis larger or a degree from the Krasnogorsk Language School, just let me know and I’ll send a few on.)

After the Pravda thing, I tripped over this neat-o story about a policeman who recognised the prostitute he was arresting as a girl that he used to baby-sit:

http://www.sptimes.com/2003/10/19/Floridian/Girl_next_door.shtml

Then I visited the Museum of Coathangers:

http://homepage.mac.com/marchesbaugh/moch/intro.html

After that I kind of lost the plot, so this first letter is going to trail off with very little point.

Sorry about that.

Until tomorrow…

Tim Ireland

www.bloggerheads.com

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Date
20031021
Video
Time
10:34
“Saaayve the gorillas, your money for their life…” Oh dear.

(Requires Quicktime.)

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Date
20031021

Time
11:58
New Statesman: “If the first threat to childhood is poor protection from the real dangers posed by commercialisation, the second is overprotection from the mostly imaginary dangers beyond the front door.”

Spot. On. Read more.

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Date
20031021
Tony Blair’s Email
Time
12:12
The email below hasn’t been sent to Tony yet, because his email facility fell on its arse this morning. No matter; it’ll keep. However…

What really rubs me the wrong way is the way his IT team deliberately ignore me. I sent them an email this morning (to an address provided on one of those rare occasions when they saw fit to acknowledge my existence) to let them know that the service wasn’t running properly. Soon after, the following message appeared on the website:

“This service is currently unavailable, please try again later. Please accept our apologies for any inconveneience. No10 Webteam”

But did they email me back and say ‘thank you’? No, they sodding well didn’t. Just like they didn’t email me to let me know about the launch of the bloody service – as they promised they would.

OK, I’m willing to accept that perhaps a bunch of people emailed in to let them know about this, but I just emailed them again with the following:

You mis-spelled ‘inconvenience’

and…

Perhaps you could also add:

“One day we will do Tim Ireland the courtesy of returning his bloody emails and thanking him for his input.”

The offending typo was corrected within minutes, but did I get a reply?

No, I sodding well didn’t.

Thanks, ‘No10 Webteam’. You just keep pretending that I don’t exist and watch what happens.

UPDATE – The attached Photoshop does not imply a specific threat; it just makes me feel better.

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Date
20031021
Yet Another Lame Quiz
Time
13:02
Which Survivor of the Impending Nuclear Apocalypse are You?

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Date
20031021

Time
13:13
Richard Allan presents a word or two – and a link or two – on electronic voting.

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Date
20031022
Emailing Tony
Time
09:28

Dear Tony,

Did you go to bed early last night, or did you stay up to watch that BBC documentary about racism in the police force? I did the latter myself, and found it quite interesting. I didn’t focus on the racism much. What struck me most was the sheer *cowardice*. The abuse of authority by people who are unhappy with their dismal little lives.

To many police, the distinctive helmet they get to wear in this country not only looks like, but acts like, a form of penis extension. Quite fitting when you consider where it’s placed, because being a policeman can really bring out the dickhead in some people:

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/manchester/3208310.stm

But to be fair, the same can be said of ticket inspectors, parking officers and anyone else in a job where the only real reward is the ability to dish out a little personal – and often selective – justice.

Rooting out racism in the police force is a fine aim but, as Deputy Chief Constable Alan Green quite rightly points out, they can’t do a heck of a lot when they recruit from the community (where the problems come from in the first place). Socialism is meant to address this by ensuring a more just and equitable system, thereby reducing the fear and desperation that drives such behaviour, but as we all know socialism is a dirty word that has no place in New Labour (soon to be re-branded ‘Conservatism Lite’).

Perhaps the solution is cloning police officers from reliable stock, or genetically modifying them in some way. Is there a gene responsible for making people act like tossers the moment they get a uniform on? A little research goes a long way, and I think it’s worth looking into – especially as ‘GM Police’ has such a nice ring to it:

http://www.gmp.police.uk/

That Diebold thing is still kicking around, even though it hasn’t quite broken as a mainstream story in the US. Yet.

Diebold has hit out by issuing ‘cease and desist’ orders to sites that dare to cast light on their dirty doings. Good luck to them, I say. A campaign of civil disobedience has kicked up, the aim of which is to ensure ongoing public access to the leaked memos that clearly show that Diebold has created a system that allows anyone with access to add and delete votes without detection:

http://www.scoop.co.nz/mason/stories/WO0310/S00237.htm

http://www.theinquirer.net/?article=12261

Onto other matters, I want to talk to you about this whole anti-social behaviour thing you’ve got running. Do you, like the police, genuinely support The Sun’s disgraceful ‘Shop a Yob’ campaign? You know what happened last time Rebekah Wade got her teeth into something like this. How long do you think it’s going to be before someone takes the law into their own hands or – even worse – eases their fear by targeting the wrong youth on the basis of a low resolution image they saw in the local shop window?

I found a nice article from The Guardian on this subject when I was checking search results for ‘shop a yob’ in Google this morning and thought you should read it:

http://media.guardian.co.uk/presspublishing/story/0,7495,1065602,00.html

My little page on this subject has just gone live in the database and is in 2nd place for this search query, which is nice. I like using my powers for good, rather than evil. In fact, you’ll want to keep an eye on me during the next election. The moment the bullshit starts flying, I plan on being right there returning fire with a Google-powered tennis racquet. Prepare to duck.

https://www.bloggerheads.com/yob.asp

Finally, I do want to express my ongoing concern for your health. I hope the wobbly you threw *was* caused by a caffeine overdose, but would suggest that you do your best to avoid stress in future, as this may well have been a major contributing factor.

In fact, I found a nifty gadget yesterday that will help you to reduce the strain of confrontational situations in the Commons. It’s this nifty little electronic voicebox called ‘Mr T In Your Pocket’, that will let you return fire with all-purpose phrases such as ‘Shut up, fool’ and ‘Don’t gimme no back talk, sucka’ without stressing out and without wasting valuable oxygen:

http://www.iwantitcheaper.com/2728/144/buy-gadgets.htm

Anyway, that’s about it for this morning. I do want to talk to you very soon about George’s upcoming visit, but it’ll keep for now.

Cheers

Tim Ireland

www.bloggerheads.com

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Date
20031022

Time
09:36
Good old Nick (who’s a subject editor for Xcalibre, portal of the gifted and talented) found this guide to using the Internet from a manufacturer of radiator cabinets most useful, and wanted to share the following with you:

Arriva presents: How To Use a Bus

Sample:

“When the bus approaches your bus stop the number and destination of the service will be displayed on the front of the vehicle. To stop the bus simply signal to the driver by raising your arm and step aboard.”

They forgot to add ‘when the bus stops‘ and ‘when the door opens‘.

They also forgot to mention that their buses don’t always stop – especially when they’re driven by tossers who decide that you’re not worth stopping for because you’ve made an official complaint about one of their co-workers.

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Date
20031022
The Impeachment of George W Bush
Time
10:52
“George W. Bush is a liar. He has lied large and small. He has lied directly and by omission. He has misstated facts, knowingly or not. He has misled. He has broken promises, been unfaithful to political vows. Through his campaign for the presidency and his first years in the White House, he has mugged the truth—not merely in honest error, but deliberately, consistently, and repeatedly to advance his career and his agenda. Lying greased his path toward the White House; it has been one of the essential tools of his presidency.”

From the introduction of The Lies of George W. Bush by David Corn – the next book on my shopping list. When payday comes around. (Being a wage slave is so tiresome.)

You can check out the offical website here.

Buying this book by either of the links below supports the Bloggerheads beer fund:

Buy The Lies of George W. Bush in the US

Buy The Lies of George W. Bush in the UK

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Date
20031022

Time
13:54
Stand back everyone! The fuse is lit! (Link via Tom Watson.)

Heh. Tim Yeo as party chairman, anyone? Party leader?

PM one day, maybe?

Oooh, this is going to be fun.

UPDATE – Ahahahahahahaha! Look at the ad that’s started turning up recently on the Tim Yeo Weblog.

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Date
20031022
Photoshopping
Time
14:12
Today’s ‘most emailed’ image at Yahoo was in need of improvement.

UPDATE – Here, have another on me.

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Date
20031022

Time
16:22
Hooray for fake doctors armed with WH Smith scissors!

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Date
20031023
Emailing Tony
Time
10:53

Dear Tony,

This is only my third email to you, but I get the feeling that we have already begun to bond. Of course, I could be wrong. You may think I’m an outright nutcase, but at least I’m not this far gone. Yet.

http://www.sarcasmoscorner.com/2003_10_01_archive.html#106684442166057684

I must admit to losing it from time to time. In fact, as serious as the implications of growing and Labour-weighted quangos are, I just can’t get Engelbert Humperdink’s voice out of my head every time I hear that bloody word (that second link is a special one for you, our leading axemaster):

http://www.epolitix.com/

http://www.theguitarguy.com/quandoqu.htm

So, let’s move on, shall we?

Can you please spare a moment of your time addressing the matter of Iraq’s debt? I watched a cracking programme about it on Channel 4 last night, and must admit to not releasing how serious the issue is before now:

http://www.mtcp.co.uk/debtcollector/

You’ve stated quite clearly that freedom and democracy is the aim in Iraq. A country this deep in debt can never be free. Any privatisation established without the backing of its people only serves to destabilise democracy. Besides, it seems a little unfair to ask for Saddam’s victims to cough up for debt he accrued when buying weapons, palaces, and shiny new torture chambers. Anybody who backed his regime financially should, in my opinion, kiss that money goodbye as a bad investment. Pretty much everything the money was spent on is gone. We bombed the hell out of it, remember?

Speaking of bad investments, are you seriously thinking of continuing your close relationship with George W. Bush? His visit to the UK in November looks like it’s going to be an unmitigated disaster – for both of you. You’ve already had to cancel addresses in the Houses of Parliament and a parade because of protest threats. I mean, if I were planning a barbeque and found out that I had to do without a flame grill, beer *and* potato salad, I’d really be thinking seriously about calling the whole thing off. Really, what’s the point of this happy-faced masquerade?

In Australia, they had to lock members of the public out of Parliament House:

http://www.guardian.co.uk/worldlatest/story/0,1280,-3299166,00.html

This didn’t stop a couple of pesky Greens from having their say, but in the end you have to consider that they went to all this bum-licking effort just so Bush could thank *Austria* for their support. Seriously, the guy’s an effing moron.

Oh, and his comments regarding vocal dissent in the chamber…?

“I love free speech,” Bush said to laughter.

I would dare to suggest that MPs laughed because They. Knew. He. Was. Joking.

Are we really going to greet this man as an honoured guest? How many millions of pounds will it cost us as taxpayers for a ‘security’ operation primarily designed to keep protestors at a distance? And, if you don’t mind me asking, how many British mice are going to have to put their lives at risk during this visit?

http://www.alertnet.org/thenews/newsdesk/MAN84422.htm

The US is currently under the control of private corporations – and religious fanatics:

http://journal.lnreview.co.uk/archives/000066.shtml

Their troops are coming home from Iraq in coffins, but nobody is allowed to see it:

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/articles/A55816-2003Oct20.html

Democracy has effectively ceased to exist in their country, but nobody is allowed to hear about it:

http://www.commondreams.org/headlines03/1013-01.htm

Here at home, most folks are desperately holding their bladders until Hutton makes good with his findings, but you and I both know what the result is going to be.

Fine, let the visit go ahead if you must – but do me favour and consider this:

Your only chance to survive is to repent. Now.

Let Bush come. Arrest the fucker the moment his plane hits the tarmac, and demand the immediate introduction of free and democratic elections in the US.

You’ll come out of it looking like a bloody hero, trust me.

Kind Regards,

Tim Ireland

www.bloggerheads.com

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20031023

Time
12:03
Encouraging independent Iraqi trade unions? Now there’s a mighty fine idea, and a significant signpost on the road to democracy (link via Tom).

“Facing an estimated seven million unemployed, a collapsed economy, and the need to build up a new society from scratch, the Iraqi unions face enormous challenges.”

Hmmm. I bet I can name one.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20031023

Time
12:24
See Walt Disney’s original plans for for EPCOT (link via Steve).

Did you know ‘EPCOT’ stood for ‘Experimental Prototype Community of Tomorrow’? I didn’t.

And you know what? I’ve looked and looked and looked through the maps and plans, but I can’t find the Super Happy Fun Detention Centre anywhere.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20031023

Time
12:28
Tony Blair says: “We have different practices in this country to the United States and, as you know, I don’t follow them slavishly in all respects.”

So, just most respects then, is it?

(Thanks to Mark for the link.)

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20031023

Time
13:00
I know it’s all been terribly political today, but really feel I should share an excerpt of this entry from Baghdad Burning with you:

“Ever since the occupation, employees of the Ministry of Oil are being searched by troops – and lately, dogs… Today, one of the women who work at the ministry, Amal, objected when the troops brought forward a dog to sniff her bag. She was carrying a Quran inside of it and to even handle a Quran, a Muslim has to be ‘clean’ or under ‘widhu’. ‘Widhu’ is the process of cleansing oneself for prayer or to read from the Quran. We simply wash the face, neck, arms up to the elbows and feet with clean water and say a few brief ‘prayers’. Muslims carry around small Qurans for protection and we’ve been doing it more often since the war- it gives many people a sense of security. It doesn’t not mean the person is a ‘fundamentalist’ or ‘extremist’.”

It’s at this stage I feel I need to remind some people of the fuss kicked up when certain Australians (*gasp*) actually dared to touch the Queen.

It also needs to be pointed out that dogs have been known to stick their noses in other dog’s bottoms and even lick their own testicles from time to time. And, if the readership of Popbitch is to be believed, this one probably started its morning with a relaxing handjob. Still, for some funny reason, Islam considers dogs to be unclean.

So, with that in mind…

“As soon as Amal protested about letting the dog sniff her bag because of the Quran inside, the soldier grabbed the Quran, threw it out of the bag and proceeded to check it. The lady was horrified and the dozens of employees who were waiting to be checked moved forward in a rage at having the Quran thrown to the ground. Amal was put in hand-cuffs and taken away and the raging mob was greeted with the butts of rifles.”

Result? Bingo. Yup, there you go.

I’m sure they’ll all settle down when the first McDonald’s goes up, though. It’s hard to stay uptight about such things when you get a free toy with your Happy Meal.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20031023

Time
13:20
A cracker of a story from science class over at Scaryduck today. It’s almost like being there, which is a damn fine thing considering that Mrs Shagwell’s arse plays such a pivotal role.

One day I’ll tell you all about Mr Matthews and the greased nipples. One day. When you’re older. Maybe.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20031023

Time
13:55
“A staggering US$4 billion in oil revenues and other Iraqi funds earmarked for the reconstruction of the country has disappeared into opaque bank accounts administered by the US-controlled body that rules Iraq. By the end of the year, if nothing changes in the way this cash is accounted for, that figure will double.”

Christian Aid is calling on Tony Blair to deliver on his promises of financial transparency in dealings with Iraqi oil. I’ll try and make time to mention it to him tomorrow…. right now I’ve got a mind full of greased nipples.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20031023

Time
14:22
Would one of my German readers care to track down the thread at this forum where Bloggerheads is mentioned? I’m detecting a fair bit of traffic from there, but there’s no search function and trying to dig through the all-deutsch topics is likely to do my head in.

UPDATE. Heh. JPEG Baby. I should have known. Thanks, ScaryDuck.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20031023
Bush visits Australia
Time
18:05
Read about it, and see images of protestors.

Read more at Yahoo, and see a photo of John Howard kissing arse.

See a video of Bush being heckled by Senator Bob Brown.

See a photo of Senator Bob Brown rejecting ejection.

Hey, good news! Australia has been upgraded from deputy sheriff, to sheriff.

Oh, and ‘a man of steel’ is Texan for ‘fair dinkum’.

Christ, he really is a moron, isn’t he?

Congratulations to every Australian who had the gumption to stand up and speak out. You’ve earned yourselves a beer, you fair dinkum men and women of steel.

UPDATE – The follow-up interview with US ambassador Tom Schieffer (with the boring bits taken out):

“Good speech… good speech… positive speech… moving speech… speech about what is good… I think people were moved by the speech.”

The transcript of that speech is here. Terrorism is carefully woven into the justification for the illegal invasion of Iraq. Again.

Here, the Australian police explain why a bit of argy-bargy was ‘necessary’ and give some details of related arrests. Bicycles and plastic webbing? Yeah, sounds like serious measures to keep terrorists at bay to me.

Bush protected by Armed fighter jets with a ‘licence to kill’! Ah, now that’s more like it!

To wrap it up, here’s a shedload of related media, courtesy of the Sydney Morning Herald, and a range of audio files courtesy of news.com.au – listen to Bush’s speech to hear him say ‘Austria’ instead of ‘Australia’ at least twice.

Oh, and check out this map of the exclusion zone to see open democracy in action. Oh yes, Bush loves free speech. When it’s out of bloody earshot, that is.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20031023

Time
18:10
George Galloway has been expelled from the Labour Party.

Of course, as we all know, it was George Galloway’s words that brought the Labour Party into disrepute. Tony Blair’s actions had nothing to do with it.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20031024
Emailing Tony
Time
09:31

Dear Tony,

Congratulations. This is a bloody good start. Can we have more of this, please?

“Network Rail will today announce that it is taking all maintenance on Britain’s railways in-house, axing more than £1.3bn of private contracts in a move likely to be viewed as a step towards ‘renationalisation’ of the system”:

http://politics.guardian.co.uk/publicservices/story/0,11032,1070044,00.html

Privatisation of utilities the public relies on is a bad idea. Service, reliability and safety usually go out the window as a result. You can set up as many watchdogs as you like, but the fact remains that the first priority of any private company is profit – and now a lot of these companies know that they can not only strip these facilities clean, but also rely on taxpayers bailing them out from time to time. It’s ridiculous. It also sets us on an inevitable march towards corporate slavery.

Think I’m overreacting? This is the kind of crap they’d *like* to get away with:

http://news.independent.co.uk/uk/media/story.jsp?story=455650

This is the kind of thing they *are* getting away with:

http://www.fcw.com/geb/articles/2003/1020/web-diebold-10-23-03.asp

You know how different politics is in the US. There, the system is so far gone that candidates need to amass a serious amount of moolah before they can run for office. What kind of people do they get in charge as a result? Bingo.

Here, any man can step forward and run for office. For now. But they can still be cut down by powerful media magnates like Rupert Murdoch and the soon-to-be-reformed-the-moment-he-can-unload-at-a-profit porn merchant Richard Desmond.

You do know Richard Desmond, right? He’s the chap that donates all that money to the Labour Party:

http://media.guardian.co.uk/express/story/0,7521,1040560,00.html

http://media.guardian.co.uk/express/story/0,7521,714743,00.html

You really do need to be more careful when choosing your friends.

And with that, my dearest Tony, we get back onto the subject of the upcoming visit of George W. Bush. You can cut back public appearances and cordon us off as much as you like, but we *will* have our day, and we *will* have our say:

http://www.timesonline.co.uk/article/0,,3-865532,00.html

http://indymedia.org.uk/en/2003/10/279398.html

Do you want to be a leader? Do you want to stand tall? Then stop bending over for media magnates, corporations and those who support their rise to power.

Cheers

Tim Ireland

www.bloggerheads.com

PS – George Galloway? Oh boy, you really fucked up there. Did London’s Mayoral Elections teach you nothing?

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/talking_point/3208577.stm

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20031024

Time
09:35
Has anybody else noticed that The Sun is happy to show tits on page 3 – and even in the bloody comics section – but they still can’t bring themselves to print the word fuck?

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20031024
Can Weblogs…? – Baring Your Bum at Bush
Time
09:51
Indymedia is on the case, and Joe Momma is preparing some soft, gooey pretzels.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20031024
Riding High on Blogdex
Time
09:51
Donald Rumsfeld has no idea how the War on Terror is going.

Glenn Reynolds thinks that – important as it is – this memo shouldn’t have been leaked.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20031024
Christianity Watch
Time
09:59
Reverend Stephen White, infamous for preaching against homosexuality and sexual promiscuity at Yale and other college campuses, was arrested in June after he allegedly offered $20 to a 14-year-old boy for permission to perform oral sex on him.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20031024

Time
10:02
Ten geekiest hobbies named. Blogging doesn’t get a mention; neither does Lego.

Still, I score two points for Star Wars and comic books. That’s got to count for something.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20031024

Time
10:06
Victorian-era robots. Riveting stuff. (Link via Ultimate Insult.)

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20031024
The Political Weblog Movement
Time
10:11
Have a flutter on the Tory Party leadership.

Heh. I amuses me greatly that every time Tim Yeo makes the news, there’s a traffic spike at the Tim Yeo weblog from people wondering who the hell he is. Is the new website he promised built yet? I can’t see it.

Oh, and I suggested to William Hague back in March that he stand again for leadership. Laugh if you like, but I think the man has masses of untapped potential and some effective opposition is badly needed in this country.

If you think this is a good idea, you can get in touch with him and tell him so.

Tell him I sent you. I’ve been trying to get him to start a weblog so you can all see what you’re missing.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20031024

Time
10:35
Police have told people wanting to see Concorde’s last flight to stay away from Heathrow airport. And surrounding areas. And the M25, just to be sure.

This is beacuse it will be too crowded, not because the event is a top-notch target for terrorists that may or may not exist.

The last three Concordes will arrive together at Heathrow Airport at around 3.55pm GMT. The approach is planned from the east, but they should be passing close enough to Wisley for me to get an eyefull.

Rogi has a bunch more on this today. I get the feeling he’s going to miss Concorde…

UPDATE – Man converts £800 of biscuits into flight on Concorde.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20031024

Time
11:32
Breaking News: Pope still not dead. He is, however, looking awfully relaxed.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20031024

Time
11:36
I’m with Nick. George Galloway should go for it and force a by-election.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20031024

Time
12:03
What’s the most evil prank you ever played?

This one isn’t necessarily evil, it just happens to be my favourite.

As a DJ, I used to have a real problem with people ‘borrowing’ my cigarettes when I wasn’t looking.

Solution was as follows…

Equipment required:

– 1 cigarette

– 1 match or toothpick

– Scissors (optional)

– 1 standard party popper

Instructions:

– Squeeze front of party popper to displace cardboard shield, extract confetti/paper

– Use match/toothpick to push string and small cardboard tube through stem and extract through large opening

– Carefully cut/bite string from small cardboard tube (this is the charge)

– Take cigarette and push/twist match/toothpick into open end to make neat hole for charge

– Push charge into cigarette (if you do it carefully and correctly, the tobacco at the top will close over it, hiding it from sight)

– Place cigarette back in pack and wait for victim

(If it’s your pack, the fag with the charge is easy to spot if you know what you’re looking for.)

Normally the charge will go off by the 4th or 5th drag. The bang is so loud that it can clearly be heard at distances of up to 30ft in a busy nightclub. The cigarette itself will remain intact at the base, but splay comically at the tip/middle with shreds of paper that provide the perfect dressing to one very stunned faced.

But don’t try it at home home, OK kids?

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20031024
Viral Marketing
Time
13:28
This is simple. This is quality. It uses existing client assets to create something familar, yet unique.

But…

1 – ‘Send to a friend’ is there, but where’s the link referral mechanism?

2 – I think the ad for the movie could be a little bit bigger.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20031024

Time
13:33
“America produces a quarter of the world’s carbon dioxide emissions, the population has risen by 100 million since 1970 and when an area three times the size of Britain was recently opened up for mining, drilling, logging and road building, no one took much notice.” (Probably because it was announced late one Friday afternoon, a little too late for the Fear at 11.)

“And what does the Bush administration do? It ignores all attempts to curb environmental damage.”

Matthew Engel reports on how America is ravaging the planet in The Guardian.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20031024
Search Engine Optimisation
Time
13:39
Google ‘nearly ready’ to float.

And here’s a fun reaction from a borderline Orlowskian.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20031024
Christianity Watch
Time
15:36
Senior Catholic theologian claims that masturbation is like owning a Ferrari and driving only in first gear.

Check out the post at Greenfairy (where I found this) and the related comments. It’ll make your afternoon.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20031024
Goodbye, Concorde
Time
15:49
This is so cool. Concordes are circling in the sky above Wisley as we speak.

UPDATE – That was great. All three came over Wisley in a wide arc on their final approach. Blue skies (rare at this time of year) and a great view. One for permanent storage.

As of now, memories and facsimiles are all we have left.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20031024

Time
16:05
Behold the origin of NoHands!

Oh, and this is a great conker simulator, too. Too bad they don’t know how to spell ‘unlucky’…

Thank you, B3ta.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20031024

Time
16:18
Thanks, NTK, for bringing this neglected corner of the web to my attention.

Don’t count on it being fixed anytime soon. Lycos promised to include an opt-in/out function on Fight Club registration almost two years ago. I’m still waiting.

Oh, and plugs in the newsletter? Works for me. I. Want. One.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20031027
Emailing Tony
Time
09:24

Dear Tony,

Can you and your mate George please do me a favour and stop talking about the war in Iraq in the past tense? This ongoing denial is really starting to get on my nerves:

http://www.cnn.com/2003/WORLD/meast/10/26/sprj.irq.hotel/

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/middle_east/3216539.stm

You really can’t blame IDS for being in his own little ‘lalalalalalalait’snothappeninglalalalala’ world lately. He’s seen you keep your job after an illegal war where thousands of innocent people died, but he’s about to lose his over a measly 12K. Personally, I’d find that a little hard to accept, too:

http://news.independent.co.uk/uk/politics/story.jsp?story=457349

It sure will be interesting if Tim Yeo beats the odds and scores the top spot. Then I’ll have a personal vendetta with the PM *and* the leader of the opposition. All that remains, I suppose, is for me to start calling Charles Kennedy names.

Back onto denial, it seems that your mate-in-cash Richard Desmond has trouble accepting that he’s a pornographer. When asked about his low-grade one-handed magazines and range of adult TV stations, he said: “It’s not porn. Porn is illegal!”

http://media.guardian.co.uk/mediaguardian/story/0,7558,1071525,00.html

Oh, and folks in authority are so concerned about racism in the police force that they didn’t want us to know about it in the first place:

http://politics.guardian.co.uk/media/story/0,12123,1071469,00.html

lalalalalalala…

Oh, you’re probably aware that Halloween is coming up. I don’t know about you, but it’s already starting to get to me.

I had this great dream last night where you answered the door at No. 10 and outside there were a bunch of Iraqi children standing on what was left of their legs and holding out shabby sacks on what was left of their arms, chiming; “Trick or Treat!”

You gave them candy, but they wanted to eat your spicy brains. Things went downhill from there.

Tim Ireland

www.bloggerheads.com

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20031027
Shop a Yob
Time
09:25
The Sun’s Shop a Yob campaign is not only disgraceful, it’s a shameless rip-off.

Hmm. Hard to know who to root for on this one.

Andrew Parkes is the editor of News Shopper, which has been running its own Shop a Yob campaign for almost two years, and he had this to say:

“If The Sun is serious about joining with us in our fight to identify and shame the scum of our society then I welcome them.”

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20031027

Time
09:36
Personal submarine for the super-rich! All I need now is an underwater lair to park it in.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20031027
Can Weblogs…? – Baring Your Bum at Bush
Time
09:37
The Guardian – Bush is not welcome in Britain

Roy Hattersley quite rightly points out that, previously, such an invitation was only granted after ‘long deliberation’ revealed that it was in the nation’s interest. And in this case, it’s most certainly not.

The closing paragraph and the use of the word ‘hooligan’ is a cause for concern, though – especially as his solution to the problem appears to be a deluge of postcards.

Roy, the reason plans for the visit have been ‘truncated and emasculated’ so is the visible willingness of so-called ‘hooligans’ to stand in the way of the charade.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20031027

Time
11:58
New York: 450 nude women appear in Grand Central Station

Are they still cleaning up Times Square, then?

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20031027
Christianity Watch
Time
11:59
Jesus…

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20031027
The End of Democracy
Time
12:03
Beatnik Salad says: “So, if I’ve got this right, the police can declare ‘orders akin to the announcement of martial law’ for an entire month, in our capital city, without telling anyone and without attracting any press attention.”

Yup, that’s about it in a nutshell. Welcome to the War on Freedom.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20031027
Photoshopping
Time
13:12
Ideas for Halloweeen Costumes #1 – Lord Hutton

Requires:

– Long black cloak with hood

– One pair of spectacles

– Tony Blair’s head on a stick

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20031027
Only Interesting to Bloggers
Time
13:24
A new weblog aggregator to play with: BlogPulse

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20031027

Time
16:36
Illegal foreign workers in West Sussex – what have they been selling to survive?

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20031028
Riding High on Blogdex
Time
08:57
Y’see, this is why I think we need an alternative to ‘traditional’ forms of protest (slightly biased bloggage, but you’ll enjoy it all the same). It seems every time I stand up to be counted, some idiot waves a copy of The Socialist Worker in my face.

The Washington Post has a report on the DC antiwar protest, too – but it’s nowhere near as fun.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20031028
Goodbye, Concorde
Time
09:02
Mirjam dropped in with the following images from the last flight, brought to the web courtesy of Adam Curry.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20031028

Time
09:08
Get to know more about David Rees, creator of the excellent Get Your War On. (Direct link provided because the article has managed to provide the wrong domain name and screw up the hyperlink. Sheer genius.)

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20031028

Time
09:15
Countless Chicago residents expected to dress as Steven Bartman this Halloween. Perspective, people…

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20031028

Time
09:17
‘See the latest images from the Southern California wildfires, taken by people on the ground with camera phones and digital cameras.’

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20031028
Rupert ‘The Evil One’ Murdoch
Time
09:18
Fox News threatened to sue The Simpsons. Groening figured (correctly) that Murdoch wouldn’t allow the Fox News cable network to sue the Fox Broadcast Network, and refused to cut the segment with this hilarious news crawl – but they won’t be getting away with it again. Or will they…?

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20031028

Time
09:26
Yesterday, it was a personal submarine. Today, I’m shopping for a Pulsed Plasma Mobile Hydrogen Generator. I’d insert an evil laugh here, but I just don’t have the lung capacity for it this morning.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20031028

Time
09:30
Search in Iraq fails to find nuclear threat. Turns out the sanctions were working after all. Oh well.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20031028
The End of Democracy
Time
10:00
“DELAND, Fla., Nov. 11 – Something very strange happened on election night to Deborah Tannenbaum, a Democratic Party official in Volusia County. At 10 p.m., she called the county elections department and learned that Al Gore was leading George W. Bush 83,000 votes to 62,000. But when she checked the county’s Web site for an update half an hour later, she found a startling development: Gore’s count had dropped by 16,000 votes, while an obscure Socialist candidate had picked up 10,000–all because of a single precinct with only 600 voters.”

Washington Post Sunday , November 12, 2000 ; Page A22

The explanation given for this at the time was a faulty memory card, but the leaked Diebold memos (which have finally reached the mainstream press – kinda sorta – as interest grows in the ‘cease and desist’ letters Diebold fired off to people who dared share them) reveal something far more sinister may have been in the works.

The guts of it is spelled out in the following extract from Black Box Voting In the 21st Century by Bev Harris:

“If you strip away the partisan rancor over the 2000 election, you are left with the undeniable fact that a presidential candidate conceded the election to his opponent based on [results from] a second card that mysteriously appears, subtracts 16,022 votes, then just as mysteriously disappears.”

Chapters 1 to 11 of this book were available in PDF format at blackboxvoting.com but this version of the site has been taken down by their ISP – again – after repeated hacks and false spam reports.

Happily, blackboxvoting.org is still live and Scoop has a mirror of the PDF downloads.

Read the article and memo extracts in full. Download the PDFs. Then write to your local paper and ask them why they’re not reporting this.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20031028
Emailing Tony
Time
10:01
Tony Blair won’t be getting an email today. I figured that your infinite patience should be rewarded with at least one stray day of ‘normal’ bloggage.

You’re welcome.

Oh, here’s a young lady with rhythm (requires Quicktime).

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20031028
Photoshopping
Time
10:39
Ideas for Halloweeen Costumes #2 – Iain Duncan Smith

Requires:

– Dark suit with blue tie

– 2 rolls crepe bandage

– 1 pair dark sunglasses

– 3 kitchen knives (optional)

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20031028

Time
11:20
Pentagon wants to develop and test ‘mini-nukes’ to fight terrorists.

OK, now can we get a little bit nervous? Surely using a ‘low-yield’ nuclear weapon is like getting a little bit pregnant – and what happens we drop a few that fail to detonate? We may as well gift-wrap make-your-own-nuke kits and be done with it.

Also, what happens when the Bush crowd sets another unhealthy precedent that initiates a return to the glory days of nuclear proliferation?

In other news, the federal commission investigating the September 11 attacks says that the Bush administration is continuing to withhold several ‘highly classified’ intelligence documents. What, we all wonder, could be so very, very secret?

Odds on it’s either a complete lack of intelligence – or something even scarier for us little folks. When you think about it, there’s one thing that would all but guarantee George W Bush victory in the next election. All he has to do is let one slip through the net (without appearing to do so) and the War on Terror will return as a ratings winner….

(Links via Sunfist. Paranoia exclusive to Bloggerheads.)

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20031028
World-Famous in Wolverhampton
Time
12:13
Come lunchtime (1pm-2pm GMT), I’ll be having a little chat on Wolverhampton Community Radio about Tony Blair’s email, BYBAB and stuff like that.

You can listen in if you like. I’ll try to be as eloquent as possible, but having a belly full of a rushed chicken fajita, I make no guarantees.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20031028
The Political Weblog Movement
Time
12:34
“There was a rather cruel comment by one Tory MP who said he didn’t know about 25 signatures to start an election… but it only took three signatures to Section IDS under the Mental Health Act!”

Ahahahahahahaha!

And it was on that note that I discovered the brand new weblog of Clive Soley, Labour MP for Ealing Acton & Shepherds Bush.

He and Austin Mitchell will be added under ‘blog mps’ on the navbar as soon as I get around to it.

When, I wonder, will we finally see a genuine weblog by a Tory MP?

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20031028

Time
13:18
Some dickless wonder is running a fake version of Baghdad Burning.

It looks just like the original, but is decidely – and laughably – pro-US.

Thanks to Atrios for the heads-up and John for the run-down.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20031028
Virus Alerts
Time
15:58
Here we go again… Anti-virus firms are warning about a Windows worm called Sober that is starting to spread widely online.

Update now, and please don’t open anything suspect. When SoBig was on the loose, my server had to deal with about 100 incoming versions a day.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20031028

Time
16:26
Take a look at the robots.txt file for the White House website.

Put simply, the robots.txt file allows you to tell visiting robots what shouldn’t be indexed or archived on any given site. Search engines use robots, as does the Wayback Machine at archive.org

So, technically, it’s still freely available information, but very hard to nail down in a comprehensive and comparative fashion (like, say, when you wish to find conflicting statements on Iraq).

BTW, modern versions of the robots.txt file allow you to disallow the lot and then specify exceptions. Benefit? You don’t end up giving people a handy shopping list of places you don’t want them poking around.

So, what we learn from this is:

1 – There is information on the White House website that they wish to hide from search engines, that they don’t want stored in Google’s cache, and that they certainly don’t want stored long-term at archive.org – just in case their story changes.

2 – Whoever wrote this robots.txt file is a doofus.

There’s a massive thread over at Slashdot with arguments for and against the importance of this little discovery. There’s a lot to dig through, but you definitely have to check out this cracker of a post that hits the nail right on the head.

Revision? What revision?

“I meant what I said, and I said what I meant, an elephant’s faithful one-hundred percent.” (Horton the Republican Elephant, via our good friend Dr. Suess)

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20031029
Riding High on Blogdex
Time
09:29
Those up-to-date on-the-ground images of the Southern California wildfires have the top spot, but this satellite image is also charting well.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20031029

Time
09:36
Alan is being mean to Tom.

Tom is being mean to Tim.

Me, I’m investing £10 (at 16-1 odds) on Tim Yeo and his total loyalty (you know it’s true if it’s in The Sun).

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20031029

Time
09:39
George Lakoff: conservatives use language to dominate politics.

Wired: Spammers mutate language to dominate Inboxes.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20031029
Christianity Watch
Time
09:41
Hey there, party people! Meet William who is called Chris. He’s a Christian and a pyro. No burning crosses on the site, sadly – but there is poetry.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20031029
It’s War! And Things Is Getting Ridiculous!
Time
09:44
George W Bush: Suicide bombings are a sign of success. Oh. ‘Kay….

UPDATE – Also, we have this:

George W Bush: I did not have relations with that ‘Mission Accomplished’ sign.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20031029

Time
09:46
Granny cleared of drag-racing charges. Oh, and that bright spark who conked his pal with a skateboard – at his pal’s request I hasten to add – is now doing time in juvie.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20031029
Flash Games
Time
09:48
Halloween Whack-a-Ghoul – Huzzah! (Link via Funjunkie, who are off to the races today.)

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20031029

Time
09:51
Mr Dyball may have smoked like a chimney, but he was a knockout maths teacher. He taught us that the Pythagoras rule was the greatest scientific discovery of all time, and damn it, he was right.

He also used his great knowledge of percentages to teach us that Hire Purchase was ‘the greatest rip-off of the 20th Century’.

Of course, here in the 21st Century, we have many new wonders to enjoy, including Extended Warranty.

Here’s a bunch more from some chap who sells trampolines. Enjoy.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20031029

Time
09:58
In-car device lets drivers change stoplights; officials fear gridlock. Can you imagine the chaos if just two people had these at the same intersection? This deserves to get stamped on. Hard. (Link via Tom.)

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20031029
Photoshopping
Time
10:01
Ideas for Halloween Costumes #3 – Rebekah Wade

Requires:

– Standard witch costume

– Ginger wig (the cheaper the better)

– Handful of Shop a Nob posters

Catchphrase:

Burn them! Burn them all!

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20031029

Time
10:05
UK call centres use postcodes to single out customers on the basis of their wealth. Nice one. Oh, I just got a cracker of an email from a technology company that thinks their message went to Tony Blair. I may well share it with you tomorrow.

(Checks email for privacy policy…) Nope, nothing there. Oh well. See you tomorrow, then.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20031029

Time
10:10
Kinky letters. *ahem*

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20031029

Time
10:11
BBC: How spammers are targeting blogs.

Bill Thompson is a week or so behind the rest of us (as usual), but at least he bothered to come up with a makey-uppey name – ‘flyblogging’.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20031029
Emailing Tony
Time
10:21
Tony Blair’s new email system is supposed to send me a confirmation message when I submit an email. I’ve sent dozens over the last few weeks/months, but have yet to receive one single confirmation email.

Of course, I’ve emailed Tony’s IT team about this, but they’re still busy pretending that I don’t exist.

You know what I think has happened?

The specifications I drew up (that they ripped off wholesale) outline plans for a deep, dark hole for problem children.

I think emails from me have been destined for this deep, dark hole from Day One.

In short… I made it all happen, I all but designed the facility – but I’m the first one to be banned from using it.

Should I keep hammering away and sending emails in blind faith?

Should I try to get an answer about possible blockage from Tony’s IT team?

Should I drop the lantern, pick up the magic sword and head east into the forest?

What do you think?

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20031029

Time
10:40
Blogman has just discovered that one of his close friends is a closet blogger – and so he’s done this friend the courtesy of a glorious one-off broadcast of his views. Go check it out, if you like – but do take your singing voice with you.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20031029

Time
10:55
Richard Allan – MP for Sheffield Hallam: “An informant in the lift tells me that Iain Duncan Smith will get 40 odd votes to 70 or 80 against with a lot of abstentions. I’ve no idea if this is right or not but we’ll find out soon enough.”

Oh, and: http://saveiainduncansmith.blogspot.com/

Good luck to everybody with money on this.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20031029
A Blog Is Born
Time
12:39
Destined for the Blogroll, this one – and it’s only been live for about a week or so….

Folks, I’d like you all to meet Luke Robinson over at Expats Against Bush.

His post on antiwar hijackers and hangers on deserves special attention. Go visit.

UPDATE – Thanks to Luke, I didn’t miss this dynamite lunchtime read from Eric Schlosser, author of Fast Food Nation:

“I can’t remember another time when having an American accent provoked as much immediate hostility from Brits of every race, creed, class, and sexual orientation. If you’re an American, overseas, in the fall of 2003, you’ve got a lot to answer for.”

and…

“Putting nationalism aside, the real problem at the moment is the arrogant exercise of power by elites, not just in my country, but in many, many others. It’s worth keeping in mind that the American people have been lied to and misled about the behaviour of their government, have far more compassion than it does, and despite all the imperial grandeur, have a lower standard of living than most people in western Europe. Was the British working class to blame for the British empire?”

He then goes on to plug his play, but I liked this article so much, I’m going to give it a plug myself:

Americans – now showing at the Arcola Theatre in London!

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20031029
Anyone but George
Time
13:13
bushin30seconds.org – create a TV ad that tells the truth about George W Bush. Inspired!

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20031029

Time
16:55
1 – Half-hourly updates on IDS’s vote of confidence

2 – “I am leader; hear me roar!

Ahahahahahaha! Thanks, Tom. Thanks, James.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20031030
The Political Weblog Movement
Time
12:26
Simon Waldman says in The Guardian : “The first politician – of whatever political hue – who uses a blog to reveal humanity, warmth, humour and intelligence (and it is not being overly optimistic to assume that there are politicians with all of the above) will truly be seen as a leader for our times.”

He’s got a point about political blogs in the US. Both Wesley Clark and Howard Dean let staff do most of the bloggage – and George W Bush’s ‘blog’ is a complete abortion and not at all worthy of the title – but to discount the importance of the genuine engagement and action trends set by local politicians (Tom Watson, Richard Allan, etc.) is pretty insulting in my opinion.

Is he saying that they’re not engaging – or is he suggesting that they’re somehow not real politicians?

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20031030
Can Weblogs…? – Baring Your Bum at Bush
Time
12:34
Hmmm. I’m not entirely sure how happy I am to have Aljazeera onside.

Oh, if you’re in any doubt about what the upcoming UK visit means to George W Bush, check out this big-noting press release US Embassy website:

“This State Visit is the first time an American President has visited the United Kingdom as a guest of the Queen since President Reagan’s visit in 1982.”

And we’re all mightily impressed down here, I can tell you…

Remember, folks – Bush has nothing to offer that’s of substance, therefore image is his greatest weapon. We have to do everything we can to reduce the effectiveness and range of that weapon.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20031030
Christianity Watch
Time
12:42
As far as I understand it, the Catholic Church still has a strict hierarchy in place.

If you wish to confess your sins, you need to do it through a priest. If you die without professional assistance in the form of last rites, then you’re in for a rough ride.

Most importantly, as a member of this church, you are not allowed to talk to God directly. That’s why they have a this extraordinary range of saints in place to act as middlemen.

Me, I dare to speak one-to-one with the Big Guy. It’s his fault I’m here in the first place.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20031030
Emailing Tony
Time
13:00
The following is an email addressed to what the sender thinks is the email address for Tony Blair:

tony-blair@prime-minister.co.uk

I have gone to great, great lengths to point out that this is not the email address of our beloved PM. Also, you will note that this email has no privacy or confidentiality statement attached.

So…

I’m repeated this email in full for you to read and share with others, as I believe it is the public interest to show clearly how wrong things can get when corporate thinking influences politics.

Some passages have been highlighted by me, but apart from this minor change, this is the entire email presented in full and without editing:

The Right Honourable Tony Blair, MP

Prime Minister

10 Downing Street

London SW1A 2AA

United Kingdom

Dear Mr. Prime Minister:

In the course of history, Americans and Britons have been blessed by innovation and invention. Our political leaders have been quick to embrace this innovation for our common defence. Meanwhile, our enemies have failed to appreciate the need to develop and improvise, thus allowing our two countries to gain the advantage during conflicts. Albert Einstein was driven from Germany by persecution and settled in the United States. When America was drawn into World War II, members of the scientific community introduced him to President Roosevelt who then launched the Manhattan Project and the rest is history.

The technology developed by Connotate Technologies represents a quantum leap in the ability to glean information from the web. Think of an army of tireless information agents scouring the web night and day in any language looking for specific information related to security in the United States, and that of interest in MI-5, MI-6 and Echelon. Once identified this information can be seamlessly delivered via any of a number of data transportation methods to the user, in any language.

Using this technology, human research staff can be reassigned to analysis rather than retrieval functions, and duplication can be eliminated. Think of the possibilities. The entire World Wide Web becomes a data warehouse that is continuously monitored for security related information that is collected, collated and delivered through a software program without the need for tedious human intervention.

Information sharing between organizations, and rapid integration of existing data can be easily achieved using Connotate’s Information Agent solution. Connotate’s technology will enable all departments within the United Kingdom’s overall security network to be connected.

Mr. Prime Minister, our firm is in business to earn a living for our investors and employees, but we also desire to provide our nation and allies with the finest tools available in the war against terrorism. We would be pleased to demonstrate our capabilities at your convenience and we firmly believe that our product can make a difference for the safety and protection of the United Kingdom. We are available to speak to those whom you deem appropriate from the IT perspective. As supplemental information, I have attached two documents that may be useful in better understanding our solution.

“One ought never to turn one’s back on a threatened danger and try to run away from it. If you do that, you will double the danger. But if you meet it promptly and without flinching, you will reduce the danger by half. Never run away from anything. Never!” — Winston Churchill

Very respectfully,

Dennis A. Tedder

Senior Sales Executive

Connotate Technologies, Inc.

New York City, New York, 10128

http://www.connotate.com

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20031030
Steady On…
Time
13:06
“I think I’ve found pornographic pictures of someone I know on the Interwebnet – what should I do?”

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20031030
Video
Time
13:07
Bloody hell! Where does one sign up for the Trojan Games? Check out the Video Highlights for full freakage (it’s pretty much NSFW) but do remember that this is not something that you should try at home. Here’s why.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20031030
Spam
Time
13:38
Y’see, this is another reason why you won’t see me going into politics – I can’t stand being surrounded by morons.

Yes, morons. Complete and utter morons! (Link/news via abnu and MarketingWonk.)

These are the people helping us to fix the Spam problem? Oh, FFS. And the US isn’t helping by insisting that free speech entitles spammers to invade my privacy.

(Ever notice when you view some spam, a new one arrives very soon after? A new tracking system, that is my children. Spammers are offering premium services that allow clients to spam people that they know are online. You open/preview the email, they know you’re there – bang comes another Spam. C**ts.)

Tell you what, instead of all this ‘track everyone’ nonsense, can we instead have a special opt-out database made up only of women – oh, and men who are quite happy with the length and girth of their appendages? It’d reduce the total volume of spam by at least 50%… that, or we could launch a pre-emptive strike against Nigeria.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20031030
Viral Marketing
Time
13:53
The Jamie Oliver calendar picture – genuine stuff-up or clevery-clogs viral marketing ploy?

You know, I find myself caring very little. Farmers (and whole villages, for that matter) are going under all over the country, but Sainsburys have millions for twatboy Jamie.

Meet Lord Sainsbury. He donates millions in cash to the Labour Party; they invite him into government. Now, amongst other things, he’s responsible for ‘the Office of Science and Technology… Bioscience and Chemicals (except GM Foods)’.

I love the ‘except GM foods’ bit. That and the blind trusts make me feel all warm and comfortable inside.

But of course, I’ve got some blind trust of my own.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20031030
Spam
Time
14:23
I wonder how many people fall for this one:

Dear Mr Admin,

Your listing is yellovvpages.com is about to expire…

Take a close look at that URL, folks….

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20031030
The same thing we do every day, Pinky…
Time
14:31
As announced by Tom Steinberg in The Guardian: “We are trying to bring together great project ideas, enthusiastic developers and visionary funders to produce cheap, effective services with a demonstrable real world impact.”

Sound like a righteous idea to me. First submission is headed their way in 5, 4, 3, 2…

UPDATE – Tharrr she blows! See? I told you I was working on a universal micropayment solution.

Go forth, people! Give an idea or two the chance to breathe at MySociety.org

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20031030
Flash Thingies
Time
15:12
One for the clock watchers.

Nice, but this classic is yet to be topped.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20031030
Anyone but George
Time
15:43
Wesley Clark: “(The Bush administration) cannot walk away from its responsibilities for 9/11… strong rhetoric in the aftermath is no substitute for wise leadership.”

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20031030
Only Interesting to Bloggers
Time
15:48
Michael Hanson has been busy contracting for Xerox Business Services at Microsoft’s Redmond campus. The other day he posted this picture of a shipment of Mac G5s being delivered to Microsoft’s loading dock on his weblog.

Today, his employer (not Microsoft) had this to say:

“…as it’s your site on your own server, you have the right to say anything you want. Unfortunately, Microsoft has the right to decide that because of what you said, you’re no longer welcome on the Microsoft campus.”

Bye-bye job. Cheers, Microsoft.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20031030
Updates
Time
16:56
Austin Mitchell and Clive Soley have been added to ‘Blog MPs’ in the navbar.

Expats Against Bush, James Mills, Stuart Bruce, whodoyouworkfor.org and Martin (aka Web Frog) have been added to the experimental Blogroll.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20031031
Riding High on Blogdex
Time
09:47
Donald Luskin is at it again, this time threatening to sue Atrios for calling this self-described stalker… a stalker. More on this at The Register.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20031031
Told You So
Time
09:52
George W. Bush has fired the first shot of the next perpetual war – The War on Pee-doh-files. You want freedom on the Interwebnet? Oh, you must be a supporter of pee-doh-files! And so on…

Oh, this is somewhat related:

Adult bookstore employees hose down protester taping customers entering and leaving the business.

UPDATE – Hoorah! SomethingAwful.com is celebrating National Protection From Pornography Week.

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Date
20031031

Time
09:57
The hundred scariest screen moments according to Channel 4 is a bit rubbish, really.

The hundred scariest movie moments according to Retrocrush is far better.

Mind you, both of them forgot the gravy.

UPDATE – The forum link above refers to this cool collection of censored Warner Brothers cartoons. I looked and looked and looked for a dedicated page for Chow Hound, but no joy. Still, here are some more banned and censored cartoons that I found on my travels. (Oh, and do be careful where you travel on the latter site if you’re not familiar with it already…)

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Date
20031031

Time
10:13
The Onion : ‘Well, You Try To Reconstruct Iraq,’ Says U.S. Defensive Dept.

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Date
20031031
Flash Games
Time
10:19
Run down children and old ladies in your police car. (Car sickness via FunJunkie.)

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Date
20031031
It’s War! And There’s Money To Be Made!
Time
10:20
Washington Post: “Private contractors that received billions in reconstruction contracts for Iraq and Afghanistan contributed significantly to President Bush’s election campaign and stocked their staffs and governing boards with well-connected former federal officials, according to a report released today by a watchdog group.”

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Date
20031031
Christianity Watch
Time
10:22
Halloween according to Kenneth Copeland Ministries. I used to watch cuddly Kenneth at 5am on Sunday after a hard night’s slog on the decks. He seemed to make a lot of sense. Mind you, I was usually drunk out of my mind at the time.

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Date
20031031

Time
10:25
Open your eyes: your children are ugly and obnoxious. Not mine, though. Mine are genetically advanced and a tremendous gift to the world. In fact, one day they will be your leaders.

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Date
20031031
Search Engine Optimisation
Time
10:27
Pop over to Google and search for ‘christmas shopping’… the top (unpaid) search result should be e-Christmas.

This site has been live for… Two. Days.

Yes, I armed it – but I didn’t have a lot to work with, as most of the content is hidden under frames. So why did it perform so well – and so fast?

I’ll tell you why; there have been several incarnations of this site since 1997. All of the past inbound linkage (here’s an example) may not be immediately visible in Google, but this information is in the database and credit is being afforded this site for past interest in it.

In short, there is a history aspect to Google’s ranking algorithm.

Told you so. Nyer, etc.

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Date
20031031

Time
11:45
I’m a snail!

UPDATE – OK, OK, so I’m a turtle. Same difference.

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Date
20031031
There Goes The Neighbourhood
Time
12:58
New York Times: “Google, the highflying Silicon Valley Web search company, recently began holding meetings with bankers in preparation for its highly anticipated initial public offering as it was still engaged in meetings of another kind: exploring a partnership or even a merger with Microsoft.”

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Date
20031031
Photoshopping
Time
13:03
This is the most wonderful thing I have seen all day.

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Date
20031031

Time
13:28
*sigh*

They don’t make scary ghost stories in the news like they used to.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20031031
The End of Democracy
Time
13:29
Diebold are having a little trouble stuffing the genie back in the bottle.

This quote hits the nail on the head:

“The copyright stuff is a sideshow. If what the memos suggest is true, this makes hanging chads look like state-of-the-art (election technology).”

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Date
20031031

Time
13:37
The funny thing about this article is that, about halfway down, they appear to start typing one-handed.

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Date
20031031

Time
16:33
I’ll be at the B3ta party tonight.

My costume lacks imagination, I’m afraid. I was all set to go dressed as a Photoshop of a man drinking beer, but instead worked overtime on a surprise prize for the server fund raffle.

You’ll be able to see constantly updated images of the drunken rampage at Mr Alfie’s moblog. Isn’t technology wonderful?








Posted in Uncategorized | Comments Off on 16-31 October, 2003

01-15 October, 2003

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Date
20031001
The Passive Resistance Movement
Time
09:17

OK… I want to think this last bit out loud, so please bear with me.

Protesting simply isn’t doing us any good. Too many media networks deliberately ignore the action, downplay the numbers or skew the intended purpose.

I want to set up a new location, a nice, tidy and effective .org, where we run maybe one major campaign a month and a few fun activities on the side.

The central principle behind each campaign will be as follows: simple actions, undertaken in a devastatingly coordinated fashion.

Each activity will be clearly linked with a problem we think should be acted on, and a sense of humour will be employed wherever possible. That makes the activity more fun. It also makes us harder to demonise.

Here are a few draft ideas I’ve been knocking around over the last couple of days…

Banks take the piss. 7 days or more to clear cheques when they have the technology to do it immediately? (They don’t check most signatures anyway, they just like playing with our money for a few days.) So… what do you think would happen we all withdrew a significant amount of money at the same time?

Not everybody has cash to withdraw, but that’s fine too. Perhaps this will make them wonder why that’s the case and how it’s restricting their freedom.

Given that they don’t properly check the details that protect our assets, perhaps we can instead have a special day where everybody signs their cheque/cards with ‘Mickey Mouse’ instead of their name.

Guantanamo Bay. Sorry, but terrorists or not what is being done to these suspects is against the rules. I think an International Lock-Up Day would be nice for this one. Everybody takes one padlock or similar security mechanism and locks something up nice and tight. This may restrict a few people unfairly on the day, but at least we’ll all feel a heck of a lot more secure.

UPDATE – A fine thought occurs: many of us will get a good result merely by hiding keys.

I hope you can see what I’m driving at. Identifying clear problems that concern us all and mobilising en masse to give a swift, sharp warning that we’re less than happy about it.

Some activities will involve action; some will involve the spread of information.

Media control is a big issue. I’d like to warm up on the soft underbelly of Richard Desmond (local pornographer and Labour Party donor) before moving on to a cracker of a campaign against the Murdoch juggernaut.

There’s more, but I don’t want to ruin any surprises.

Right, down to business…

We need a central web presence with a range of interactive capabilities.

This takes money. I’m sure there’s a few ways we can bring it together, but we need someone who can handle the cash properly.

It will require technical knowledge – for design and back-end. I’m sure Movable Type will be able to handle the bulk of it, but we’ll be needing a few added bits and bobs here and there.

The put it simply; I cannot do this alone, and I will be asking for your money, support or involvement.

Still think it’s a good idea?

Think we can pull it together?

You know what to do; get in touch.

“They got the guns, but we got the numbers.” – Jim Morrison

“If you tolerate this, then your children will be next.” – Nicholas Jones

Boomshanka.

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Date
20031001

Time
09:55
What the **** does she think she’s doing? Madonna busted stealing images (via TTR2).

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Date
20031001

Time
09:56
“I’ve not got a reverse gear.” – Tony Blair

If you’re like me, you had this exact same thought.

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Date
20031001
Christianity Watch
Time
10:00
Hooray for Fish Wars (link via The Ultimate Insult).

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Date
20031001

Time
10:02
Tony Blair says we should be listening to what the Iraqi people are saying. I already am, and wonder if he is.

This post from several weeks ago still haunts me, but this alternative voice also provides pause for thought.

Another blogger you should be watching today is Atrios. He’s all over the Plame plume. In fact, even Matt Drudge considers the content to be worth ripping off.

Finally, you’ll definitely want to drop by Hanging Day today. This post on the recent writings of Douglas Rushkoff is a gem:

“It isn’t just that it lacks any expertise, or real engagement with ideas: it also has no sense of urgency or practice. Right now, we don’t need someone telling us about the the way the internet is making ideologies obsolete. We need people to say that if there is no open consultation on the creation of standards for, say, voting machines, and if we cannot scrutinise these standards to be sure of their security, then electronic democracy might be fucked, on a very basic level.”

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Date
20031001
Riding High on Blogdex
Time
15:14
Watch the trailer for The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King and read Moby’s post suggesting he may decide to get himself sued by the RIAA. For having illegal MP3s of his own songs.

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Date
20031001

Time
15:57
Who would you trust to provide you with premium image supplies?

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Date
20031001

Time
16:04
Oh dear.

Oh dear.

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Date
20031001

Time
17:03
The conference speech Tony should have made.

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Date
20031002

Time
09:35
To: The London News Review

From: Tim Ireland

Dear Sirs,

I have just received my copy of Issue Zero of The London News Review.

For a first-time publication, I found it to be extremely disappointing.

There was a disturbing lack of font variety and the use of clip-art & decorative borders was close to non-existent. Additionally, I found a typo on Page 20 and the cartoon by Matt Groening appears to be ten years out of date.

Were I a teacher, I would mark your efforts with a terse ‘must try harder’.

Yours Sincerely,

Tim Ireland

UPDATE – Ooh, look… FunJunkie have a few complaints as well.

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Date
20031002
Only Interesting to Bloggers
Time
09:36
Dave Winer: The Rule of Links

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Date
20031002
She Who Shall Not Be Plamed
Time
09:37
Amusingly many journalists have started avoiding the use of the named agent – about two months after the horse has bolted and galloped for the scrub. Oh, and Karl Rove looks to be nailed. Atrios has the poop.

Here, it’s not being treated as much of a story. Everybody’s too busy trying to shame-without-naming over an alleged rape. A crime of violence trotted out as titillation. And it’s got football! Seriously, how can anybody pass that up?

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Date
20031002
Spam
Time
09:48
Meet Andy Markley, who nailed notorious spammer Eddy Marin for illegally using his domain name for fake addresses in the ‘From’ field:

Markley believes that Marin didn’t single him out, but suspects that his domain was chosen because it appeared at the top of some alphabetical list that Marin works from. He’s heard from others who have domain names starting with the letter “A” who have also been victimized.

I got a bunch of ‘failed message’ alerts in my Inbox yesterday. Someone has been using randomised letter/number combinations in front of the bloggerheads.com domain as the ‘From’ address in a campaign to shift shifty shit.

Looks like Eddy is deep into the B’s already.

UPDATE – Did anyone else notice how few spams were flying about when SoBig was on the loose? Given that SoBig had the capacity to harvest addresses and most spam comes from maybe half a dozen operators, well… I don’t really need to finish that sentence, now do I?

Oh, and this is supposed to help, but I’m not holding my breath. BTW, if we know who the spammers are, why can’t we have them arrested or file a civil suit?

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Date
20031002

Time
09:59
Thank you, David J. Bradley!

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Date
20031002

Time
10:03
Dog owner forced to pay for abortion after helping to lead neighbour’s dog astray.

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Date
20031002

Time
10:07
Homeless man finds little joy in $10,000 duck-money.

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Date
20031002

Time
10:09
Feel like climbing the walls today?

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Date
20031002

Time
10:11
Doctor accused of sewing woman’s anus shut. I’d be more impressed if he put a watch in there first.

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Date
20031002

Time
10:16
Remember having Sex-Ed in school? The guy in charge of (ahem) ‘Personal Devlopment’ at our school was afraid to spell the word s-e-x, and had a nasty habit of taking another question to avoid having to answer a tricky one in full.

We had this nailed pretty quickly, and when he wasn’t as helpful as he could be, we peppered him with countless bizarre/stupid/inane questions just to watch him sweat.

One day, the girls got to leave class and watch a film. Probably this one.

The boys were left behind with little more than a moral-dilemma colouring challenge, so the teacher really shouldn’t have been surprised by the peppering he got when he refused to answer a simple question regarding the subject matter of this top secret film.

From the ensuing exchange was born the quick-fire classic:

Student 1: Mr B, do you have a bone in your dick?

Mr B: Why, er, no. Yes, you at the back with a question?

Student 2: Then why is mine hard right now?

(Cue hasty exit by Mr B)

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Date
20031002
The Passive Resistance Movement
Time
10:27
We need a name!

The central site (probably about two or three weeks away) needs a snappy, descriptive and phonetic name. Well, that’s just my opinion, but I do want to make us easy to find when people see a stunt and/or the result of it (and there simply may not be the time to write ‘passive-resistance-movement.org’ on the wall before fleeing into the night).

There are other ways to get the name out, but it needs to sell the idea of what the movement is about, even when seen all by its lonesome.

I have a boring/sample version of a name for you, complete with the planned tagline for the site, just to give you a feel for it:

organised.org :: globalised. mobilised.

Can you do better? Can you sex it up so it sells? When you’re done, can we do lunch, darling?

You can check availability of .org domains here. Suggestions should be sent to the usual address.

Cheers all.

UPDATE – Kevin is suspicious. He wonders if I’m any relation to Inspector Tim Ireland, of t’South Yorkshire Police.

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Date
20031002
Flash Thingies
Time
14:01
An awesome Japanese website for you to enjoy. It’s pretty top-heavy and incomplete in places, but… wow!

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Date
20031002
Anyone but George
Time
14:57
I (heart) NY!

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Date
20031003
Riding High on Blogdex
Time
08:52
This is a very long and technically very good essay on the subject of power, why America currently has so much of it, and why they should – for all their faults – be trusted with it.

It’s worth reading in full, but the guy who wrote it has his head on backwards.

America can be trusted with power because they have no imperial ambitions? Pardon me if I choke on that ‘comforting’ thought.

“I am not one of those rare experts. I am certainly not Mark Twain. But I do grasp what he is saying here, and it bears repeating: Those foreigners who see in American power imperial ambitions do not know the soul of this country. They see mechanisms and potentials, they see through the eyes of their own histories and cultures.”

Our own histories and cultures? Well, I don’t know about you, but most of my history has been steered (or revised) by America in one way or another. And culture? It’s awash with American dross. I’m sure you can see what I’m getting at here…. why invade when you can simply incorporate?

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Date
20031003

Time
09:04
The Onion: 48-Hour Internet Outage Plunges Nation Into Productivity

Heh. BBSpot also has a cracker this morning:

United States Postal Service sues email users for damage to the letter-writing industry

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Date
20031003

Time
09:07
Are you large and loving it? Then Big Boxers of Brooklyn want you to send in a photo of you modelling their underwear. They offer a mighty 10% discount (on your next order) for each photo published.

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Date
20031003
OK, So I’m a Lego Geek
Time
09:09
American brick-shifters! Stand ready to give it your all for a chance to join the LEGO Master Model Builder team.

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Date
20031003
The Californian Recall
Time
09:13
Arnie apologises for groping women. He thought it was all good, clean fun – but now he realises that it was wrong to grab their boobs/bums and deliberately humiliate them in public. Well, I’m happy. This pretty much settles the issue for me. Gosh, don’t you think he would make a good president? Etc.

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Date
20031003

Time
09:18
Penis? Looks more like a squid to me…

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Date
20031003
She Who Shall Not Be Plamed
Time
09:20
Washington Post: Nearly seven in 10 Americans believe a special prosecutor should be named to investigate allegations that Bush administration officials illegally leaked the name of an undercover CIA agent.

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Date
20031003
It’s War! And Somebody’s Telling Porkies!
Time
09:39
Blair asked us to wait. We waited. The report’s in: No WMDs found in Iraq. None. Zip. Zilch.

Both sides are now coming forward claiming the report backs their case, but in the press and at the Labour party conference there’s been a lot of focus on the need for regime change for humanitarian reasons. Blair first started to trot this dross out in earnest following the million-strong march (he needed something to win over us poor, misguided peaceniks).

People were suffering under a cruel dictatorship, of that I have no doubt. But it’s not the only cruel dictatorship in the world, so why Iraq? Why the urgency?

No matter what Bush or Blair may suggest, the wording of the UN resolution did not call for armed conflict following non-compliance.

OK, so there’s this guy down the street from me who I think may be dealing drugs. Heck, I know he deals drugs. To kids! And I think he may have guns. The police have placed him under house arrest, but I think me and a few mates ought to go charging in and shoot the place up, just to be sure. The police can come in and help clean up later, but it’ll be on our terms dammit! Oh, and we may not find any guns in the house, but anything else we find, we get to keep. Heck, we’ve earned it for making the neighbourhood safer.

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Date
20031003

Time
09:42
It’s World Smiling Day. Cheer the fuck up. That’s an order.

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Date
20031003
The Passive Resistance Movement
Time
09:43
Some good suggestions are coming in for a name for our passive resistance movement. I can’t trot out any of the good ones just yet, but later today I’ll post a few rejects for you to chew on.

Want to make a suggestion? Keep in mind that the brief is as follows:

This needs to be easy to write, easy to read, and easy to remember. Ideally, it should be phonetic.

We don’t want anything that will cause someone who is exposed to the name to make any dismissive assumptions about the group (activist-like names like wageslave.org could prove to be counter-productive).

Make it short, make it clever, make it suitable – and make sure it’s available as a .org domain name.

When you’re done, send your suggestions here.

Rejects to follow.

UPDATE – As promised, here are some of the rejects:

I delved into a bit of Latin yesterday. Being the root of many modern languages, I was hoping it would deliver something descriptive, emotive and more or less universal.

Only problem was, most of the relevant words that cropped up where either taken as a .org or sounded like some wanky Potteresque spell (Reluctor! Resisto!)…

If we decided on the Latin word for our status as a collective, then our address would be cunctus.org

(ahem)

So much for Latin…

There were dozens of ‘does what it says on the tin’ names. Descriptive, certainly, but names like standupandfight.org and fightback.org are too militant. Goodfight.org is taken (and quite amusing if you’d care to peek).

I was warming to peskykids.org (think ‘they would have got away with it if it weren’t for…’) but I’m not sure if ‘childish, but effective’ is a solid enough mission statement.

Andy was playing with a few promising acronyms:

Movement

United

For

Freedom

I reworked one of his, but was less than happy with the result. Acronyms and overuse of the word ‘freedom’? That’s George W. Bush’s department, surely?

Electronic

Networking

Um

Forget it.

Some suggestions were amusing, but less than helpful. I’m no sure how far we’d get with freedumb.org or penismightier.org

Still, no need to be downhearted. There were quite a few excellent suggestions as well – most of which are available as a .org (but we have to stay quiet about these for a bit so they stay available).

I have a few in particular that I really, really like and will be emailing everybody who’s made a suggestion to see what they think of what we have so far.

Cheers all.

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Date
20031003

Time
12:01
Another version of the eBay scam is on the loose. I’m sure you don’t need to be told that companies like eBay and PayPal do not email you to ask for your password… just as your bank doesn’t call you up to ask for your PIN number.

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Date
20031003
Viral Marketing
Time
12:18
I won’t be participating unless they let me run a ‘Lycos is Shit’ page.

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Date
20031003
Can Weblogs…? – Baring Your Bum at Bush
Time
12:29
Bush will not be permitted to speak to the House of Commons, after fears of a massive boycott by MPs. Big fancy dinners are going to be short of a few politicians and celebrities who don’t want to be seen with George W. Bush. Here’s that article in full, folks. Looks like we’re winning.

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Date
20031003
Flash Games
Time
14:49
Alien Abduction (found via FunJunkie) is the mutt’s. At first, the puny humans don’t do much to prevent a potential anal probing (maybe it’s just one of those neighbourhoods) – but they are tricky to find sometimes and some challenges will come your way. Eventually.

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Date
20031003

Time
17:27
We’ve got a great show for you today, including Christian Punk Rock (woo)… the Amazing Rolf Harris Jukebox (yeah!)… and the music of Senator Orrin Hatch (wtf?)

But first, here come the Solid Gold Dancers!!!

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Date
20031006

Time
08:51
Derren Brown’s cunning stunt last night began with the following dual warning:

Viewers should be advised that this stunt is being done by experts in controlled conditions and should in no circumstances be attempted by viewers at home. (pause) There will be strong language.

UPDATE – Oh, and good timing on Channel 4’s part. Putting a Russian Roulette stunt on immediately after a documentary on the suicide of Dr David Kelly. Tasteful.

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Date
20031006

Time
08:54
McDonald’s are opening their doors so you can see into the kitchens and ease your mind about silly notions such as human phlegm in the burgers and chicken fat in the shakes: Australia | UK

They’re doing this because their profits are finally under threat. Before now, they really couldn’t give a damn. Think about that.

Oh, and you may wish to leave a review for The Fast Food Song by the Fast Food Rockers. I know the song has been around for ages (I first heard it being used to teach potential teachers how to play the guitar) but in its new form it’s positively obscene (especially when they play it again and again on children’s television). Oh, and Burger King may not get a mention, but the producers of the music video have been very careful to include a BK-esque logo on the flying drink cup that floats in front of your eyes every ten seconds.

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Date
20031006
Riding High on Blogdex
Time
09:09
Bloggercon has been and gone. See what people are saying about it.

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Date
20031006
The Californian Recall
Time
09:11
Forget Nazis and nipple-gripples… here’s something serious Arnie wants to hide.

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Date
20031006

Time
09:13
Laura Bush: “President Bush is a great leader and a husband, but I bet you didn’t know he is also quite the poet.”

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20031006

Time
09:16
Sick of reading news about the Siegfried & Roy tiger-mauling? Read an online discussion instead.

UPDATE – The related Fark thread is even longer, but is sure to tickle you in places.

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Date
20031006
Can Weblogs…? – Baring Your Bum at Bush
Time
09:21
Michael Moore: I have seven questions for you, Mr Bush…

There will be a significant update/addition to the BYBAB campaign page in the next few days. A full plan has been formed.

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Date
20031006
The Passive Resistance Movement
Time
09:31
More details on the upcoming movement for you:

I was brought up in an educational environment, and learned pretty quickly how important sparks and nuggets are. Many that hit me 20+ years ago are still with me.

The central purpose of this movement isn’t to replace ‘traditional’ forms of protest and activism; it’s meant to be an introduction to them.

Unlike some online campaigns, the trail will not end with you simply clicking a button or signing and online petition, it will culminate in an action that involves you getting out and actually doing something.

This action will be simple, fun, and relatively risk-free. Some campaigns will involve the spread of information, some will involve symbolism, some will involve action; but all will involve you getting off the couch at least once.

The effectiveness of your individual action will be enhanced by co-ordination (i.e. there will be many people doing the same thing at the same time), so you will be making a difference; but the main aim is to make you wonder what you could achieve by doing something more.

Keeping that in mind, we now enter the last round of suggestions for a name for our movement.

Make it short, make it clever, make it suitable – and make sure it’s available as a .org domain name.

When you’re done, send your suggestions here.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20031006
Tony Blair’s Email
Time
09:42
Heh. Someone’s been busy optimising the page where you can now email Tony Blair. Oh, and his communications office still owes me £2000 or some sodding credit for the format of the solution. Can this not be arranged as part of the new touchy-feely “we’re ready to listen” regime?

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Date
20031006

Time
09:56
My thoughts exactly.

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Date
20031007
Weblog Marketing
Time
09:18
Following on from last month’s Barney Gumble is this cheap little stunt:

The Rise of Comment Spam

You may have noticed a few weblogs with a ‘most recent comments’ list presented as a sidebar. Well, a few so-called marketers have, too. Here are a couple of guilty parties:

http://www.1viagra.com/

http://www.discount-life-insurance.us/

As you can see from this range of screengrabs, the discount-life-insurance.us site has actually charted at No. 4 on Blogdex this morning because of comment spam posted at these weblogs – but what these dickheads are really chasing is a range of keyword-rich inbound links to boost their search results in Google.

Badly Dubbed Boy has noticed this at his own blog and commented on it. To answer his question; looking across the spectrum of comments you can clearly see that they’re simple cut-and-paste one-word comments, and their purpose is not to enrich your weblog, but exploit it.

Delete the comments, block the IP address.

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Date
20031007

Time
09:25
Presenting the world’s first ‘scratch and sniff’ site. You know what’s coming, don’t you? (Link via TTR2.)

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Date
20031007
Only Interesting to Bloggers
Time
09:27
Andrew Orlowski continues to troll the weblog community. If The Register made any reports on weblogs that weren’t by this idiot, I’d be more inclined to believe that it’s all a bit of a laugh.

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Date
20031007
Telemarketers
Time
09:30
Ahahahahahahahahahaha *(breeeeeeeeeeeeeeath)* ahahahahahahahaha!

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20031007

Time
09:33
Damn and blast it, I missed the blessing of the pets.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20031007
It’s War! And Somebody’s Telling Porkies!
Time
09:34
The reporter who was busted for faking a cruise missile launch as part the super soaraway Sky News coverage of the Iraqi war has committed suicide.

You’ll have to excuse me for thinking this out loud, but I can’t help but wonder which politician will complete the trifecta.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20031007
Christianity Watch
Time
09:41
Armageddon Books claims to be ‘the world’s largest Bible prophecy bookstore featuring books, videos, and charts on Armageddon, Antichrist, 666, Rapture and Revelation’. Do take the time to review the 21 signs of Christ’s return; you’ll want to know when to look busy.

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Date
20031007

Time
09:44
FunJunkie is running a weblog for the Italian Job Rally. They also dropped by to visit David Blaine the other day. Both are worth checking out. One stunt has little cars; the other has little merit.

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Date
20031007
Photoshopping
Time
09:48
Theme: Cheap ways to keep a moron occupied. Quite a few in-jokes, but some crackers are hidden in there. Somewhere. No, honest…

UPDATE – This new thread is much funnier. Enjoy.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20031007

Time
09:50
Brownie troop leader arrested for stealing cookie money.

Teacher throws rowdy students out of first-story window.

Leadership. Discipline. That’s what it’s all about.

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Date
20031007
The Californian Recall
Time
09:55
The professional smearing of Arnold Schwarzenegger is part of a vast and well-coordinated liberal conspiracy.

You know it to be true.

You also know in your heart of hearts that – while Arnie may have restricted his campaign to a string of film cliches – that he has a foolproof top-secret plan to revive California’s economy. He just can’t tell us about it yet in case robots from the future get wind of it. Or something.

Californians: Please do try to vote sensibly today; and if you can’t, please vote for Gary Coleman. He needs your love.

UPDATE – Isn’t interesting that Jill Stewart’s article, masked as a valid point, has the timing of last-minute mud-slinging?

Consider this: her ‘proof’ is an assertion, nothing more. It may very well be revealed to be true. Or false. Or somewhat misleading. Tomorrow. When it’s too late.

All sexual allegations aside, Arnold Schwarzenegger is an unashamed, ruthless manipulator. His priority always has been, and always will be, what is best for Arnie.

I don’t see that changing in a hurry.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20031007
Can Weblogs…? – Baring Your Bum at Bush
Time
13:35
Oh dear. Go to Google and search for ‘bum’…

Traffic spike! Traffic spike!

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Date
20031007

Time
16:38
Bård Torgersen beaten up over article about how to get sex from Muslim women, written by an entirely different Bård Torgersen. Well, it did happen in Norway. Perhaps ‘Bård Torgersen’ is their version of ‘John Smith’…

Oh, and here’s an article about the offending article. In Norwegian, of course.

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Date
20031007
The Passive Resistance Movement
Time
17:52
I think we’ve got the name nailed, boys and girls. I’ll tell you all about it once we have it secured.

Oh, and I have a full campaign plan for Bare Your Bum at Bush in my head – but I need a few cartoony cliparty type images to make it work. It needs to be neat and instructional style. Any volunteers?

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Date
20031008

Time
08:52
Jesus H. Christ on crutches. I think I’m going to fucking cry.

I don’t think there’ll be much bloggage today… blame 50% of the population of California.

UPDATE – Graham Pond over at Hanging Day is equally shell-shocked. More thoughts are being expressed here at the BBC website.

Also, this not-at-all-suprising petition is doing the rounds.

Oh, and collating your press releases and presenting them in weblog format does not make your site a weblog.

George W. Bush’s election campaign ‘weblog’, therefore, is not really a weblog.

Nice touch with the ‘posted by GeorgeWBush.com’, though. It feels almost real.

More from Blogdex:

Another feelgood proclamation that means sweet bugger all.

FFS, it makes me want to vomit. Repeatedly. Copiously.

I can’t stand it.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20031008
Can Weblogs…? – Baring Your Bum at Bush
Time
09:28
George W Bush will not be visiting Scotland. Kilts must make him nervous for some reason.

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Date
20031008
Photoshopping
Time
17:32
This did cheer me up. A bit.

Then Jon brought this to my attention.

I’m back at square one. Time to go home and crawl under my rock.

See you tomorrow.

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Date
20031009

Time
09:33
The London Underground: sometimes it’s faster to walk. Good advice for newbies. FunJunkie also has links to loads of useful information on the Tube this morning.

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Date
20031009
The California Recall
Time
09:37
Now I know there’s something fundamentally wrong with the universe: Larry Flynt got more votes than Gary Coleman! Oh, and Paul spotted the same comment over at the BBC website that made me chuckle yesterday.

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Date
20031009

Time
09:40
Raelian clone a hoax? No! I refuse to believe your liiiiiiiies!

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20031009

Time
09:43
TV star Linda Robson (who?) mugged for plastic bag of dog poo.

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Date
20031009

Time
09:44
The Straight Dope reveals the purpose of the Scroll Lock key.

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Date
20031009
The Political Weblog Movement
Time
09:47
Blogger who blogs for Dean blogs that Bush’s blog isn’t really a blog. With me so far?

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Date
20031009
OK, So I’m a Lego Geek
Time
09:49
Mathematical LEGO Sculptures! Mobius strips! Minimal surfaces! I ask you; could life get any more exciting?

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Date
20031009
Christianity Watch
Time
09:53
The Catholic Church is telling people in countries stricken by Aids not to use condoms because they have tiny holes in them through which the HIV virus can pass.

UPDATE – ‘Elect Pope George Ringo’ jokes are due any time now. Stand by.

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Date
20031009

Time
09:55
Do you spend a lot of time wishing that George W. Bush would hurry up and die? Reading his medical history may provide a glimmer of hope.

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Date
20031009

Time
09:59
Heh. Did you ever wonder what Shaggy got up to in the back of the Mystery Machine? The time displayed on this clock may provide a small clue. (If you don’t get it, this should clear matters up for you .)

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Date
20031009

Time
10:03
Vice-narcotics web pages uses logo of National Organization for the Reform of Marijuana Laws as a background image. Why blame theft and ignorance when you can scream ‘hacker’?

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Date
20031009

Time
10:14
Andra Ferguson and Brandon Kivi (both 15) use the same type of asthma medicine, Albuterol Inhalation Aerosol. They’re boyfriend and girlfriend, so we can probably assume that they also share spit from time to time, too. So, if one of them has difficulty breathing but doesn’t have their medication with them, surely it’s no big deal for the other to simply pass the inhaler, right? Wrong.

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Date
20031009
Anyone but George
Time
10:16
George W. Bush attempts self-fulfilling prophecy; says he doubts CIA leaker will ever be caught. Well, that’s good enough for me. Time to move on.

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Date
20031009
The Passive Resistance Movement
Time
10:17
The name we wanted appeared to be free in one database, but turned out to be taken. Damn and blast it. A modest offer has been made. I’ll get back to you shortly.

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Date
20031009
Media Fun
Time
12:06
Networks play ‘peek-a-boo’ with exit-poll data.

Also, ‘we can name this footballer as a rape suspect, but we can’t show you his face’. FFS!

I was a naughty monkey and used a search engine – but when I arrived at this page as a result, I was confronted by a rather interesting interstitial pop-up thingie for Reebok’s latest and possibly ill-fated clever-clogs campaign.

A good thing I’ve been practising my quickfire screengrab technique…

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Date
20031009
Stuff I Didn’t Do Today
Time
14:13
I need to do an update to the Bush campaign pages. It’s coming. Soon. Trust me.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20031009

Time
14:21
Doll Offers Modest Image for Muslim Girls

“The main message we try to put forward through the doll is that what matters is what’s inside you, not how you look,” said doll creator Ammar Saadeh.

What a load of old rubbish. Everybody knows that what really counts is eagle-eye vision and kung-fu grip.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20031009
Can Weblogs…? – Baring Your Bum at Bush
Time
18:57
OK, ladies and gents, I have what I think is a pretty good plan for the Bush visit with something for everyone.

(Myself, I’ve booked the entire week off work and yes, I do still plan to bare my bum if the opportunity arises.)

Keep a sharp eye out for typos. I built it in a bit of a hurry.

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Date
20031010

Time
09:13
Noodles the Clown pleads guilty to child porn charges. I’d be willing to bet that at a few Ronalds have been led astray, too. I wonder who’s in charge of hushing this up?

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Date
20031010

Time
09:37
Not the best domain name for a ‘quit smoking’ site. Perhaps they’re trying to be clever by catching people who navigate by domain names. Which almost nobody does.

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Date
20031010
Media Fun
Time
09:38
From the New York Post of all places comes this ‘well duh!‘ admission:

“One of the whopping lies of our time is that journalists are simply innocent bystanders with no responsibility for the outcome of events… The truth is that today’s media shape reality – often for the worse.”

Make up your own lies here.

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Date
20031010

Time
09:40
Ooh-ahh or ewww-ah? Your call. (Link via Ultimate Insult.)

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Date
20031010
The California Recall
Time
09:42
Hmmm. Is it just me, or are intelligent Californians being driven into the sea?

Somewhat related: Alec Baldwin offers box of dog biscuits to redistricting Republican Rick Perry. Quote: “I wanted to give this to Tom DeLay’s lap dog…”

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Date
20031010
Search Engine Optimisation
Time
09:43
MSN dumps Looksmart. Another signpost on the road to two new search databases that – unless Yahoo and MSN are complete fools – will follow the basic principles of Google.

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Date
20031010

Time
09:45
What does $87 billion look like? Ripped off from the Megapenny Project, but still interesting.

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Date
20031010

Time
09:47
Siegfried: Tiger was confused and trying to ‘help’ Roy. By tearing him a new cakehole?

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20031010
Can Weblogs…? – Baring Your Bum at Bush
Time
09:54
Again, it just makes me want to cry. Chris from TTR2 brought this to my attention last night, but I could swear that I’ve blogged it before. No matter. Metafilter are onto it, too and the related thread mentions the Bare Your Bum at Bush campaign, which now has an exciting new page for you to enjoy. With me so far? Good. Meanwhile, the blood-red carpet is being rolled out for Bush in Australia. Hmmm, a blood-red carpet. Not a bad idea…

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20031010

Time
09:57
I wish I were a big-time Hollywood producer. And writer. And director. And editor. And bottle-washer.

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Date
20031010
Riding High on Blogdex
Time
09:59
Fellatio reduces risk of breat cancer. Oh dear, it’s a parody. And it’s been removed. No problem, you’ve still got a few hours to catch it in Google’s cache.

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Date
20031010

Time
10:01
Holly Valance admits she needs to get naked to keep her music career alive. Also, Cheryl Tweedy of Girls Aloud is in court over the little adventure she had in my local nightclub. I still don’t get this story. Why would anybody want a lollipop – free or otherwise – that had been sitting in a toilet?

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Date
20031010

Time
10:05
FunJunkie is planning a Christmas party for bloggers! I not only plan on attending, I’d like to make a fool of myself on the decks if they’ll let me.

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Date
20031010
Updates
Time
11:44
Follow Me Navbar:

1. The link to Blogdex has been given a long-overdue update to the new core URL at blogdex.net

2. Hanging Day has moved to http://journal.lnreview.co.uk/, link updated

3. LinkMachine Go added.

4. TTR2 moved to brand-new Blogroll

The Blogroll will only appear on the front page for now. It’s my first one, so there may be some changes and additions as I get used to using it.

The Blogroll is a mix of political blogs, industry blogs, and people blogs. Have a poke around and let me know what you think. Too long? Too short? Am I missing anyone?

Cheers all.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20031010
It’s War! And Somebody’s Telling Porkies!
Time
12:31
The full text of IDS’s Tory party conference speech.

Michael Billington in The Guardian – “…what depressed me was the assumption that all politics is now a branch of showbiz.”

‘Following his speech to Party Conference in Blackpool, Ladbrokes have lengthened the odds on Iain Duncan Smith leading the Conservative Party into the next election from 1/4 to 2/5.’

A few things struck me:

1. Some of those hand movements and gestures were distinctly Blairesque.

2. That Charles Kennedy comment? Cheap shot.

3. The ‘that was a lie’ sounded like a strong challenge, but is quite misleading. IDS is using the Kelly affair to attack Tony Blair without really acknowledging the central issue – the illegal war that made such actions and lies a strategic necessity. The illegal war that the Conservative Party rubber-stamped right along with the Blair regime. The illegal war that everybody with a brain knew was bogus.

The speech contained the following quote:

“…I believe the world is better off today because Saddam Hussein is no longer running Iraq. I’m not going to twist or turn with the prevailing wind. I won’t play games with the defence of Britain. We’ll leave that for the Liberal Democrats.”

Another cheap shot – and pretty wide of the mark, at that. The prevailing wind was and is against the war (it’s not over yet, folks) or at least it would have been had democracy and the media not failed us.

Where were the responsible actions expected of an opposition party in the lead-up to this conflict?

The Conservative Party failed to acknowledge the alarm bells. The Conservative Party did not ask the hard questions when the chips were down.

The Lib-Dems did.

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Date
20031010
Only Interesting to Bloggers
Time
13:27
The Guardian are indeed running another blog competition and, as predicted, ScaryDuck will be one of the judges. FunJunkie has the poop.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20031010
Photoshopping
Time
18:14
I’ve just now finished a nifty new image to help with the protest effort during Bush’s visit to the UK.

I know it’s a bit obscene, but then again, so is napalming Iraqis.

You can access a mighty big A4-sized version suitable for printing at the second page of the ‘chase Bush out of Britain’ campaign.

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Date
20031013

Time
09:51
Morning all. Apologies for the single post, but I woke up with this idea and thought you’d find it entertaining. If you require further distraction, you may wish to cast your mind back to the day I received an email objecting to the Bush/Britain campaign. Over the weekend, I tripped over the thread this email originated from. Mental giants one and all – and it’s worth noting that their outrage resulted in one single email of complaint. It’s also worth noting that, as a group, they seem to have trouble grasping the basic principles of copyright. And apostrophe placement.

Oh, and if you missed it on Friday or over the weekend, you may wish to catch the new poster featured in Part II of the Bush/Britain campaign.

UPDATE – OK, OK, OK! Increasing outbound linkage in 5, 4, 3, 2… This is fun. This is interesting. Happy now? Good.

Anyway, on with today’s main feature – an email that has just been sent to two competing TV bods. One can only wonder what they’ll come back with (if, indeed, they choose to get back to me at all). Actually, let’s assume they won’t. How about you send me some feedback instead?

Cheers all.

UPDATE 2 – Some related bloggage from Steve shows that I’m not the only person eating too much cheese before bedtime.

To: Nav Raman, Commissioning Editor (Channel 4); Glenwyn Benson, Controller of Factual TV (BBC)

From: Tim Ireland

Dear Nav and Glenwyn,

I’m writing to you today to propose the next logical step in reality television.

My elevator pitch is as follows: ‘Pop Idol’ meets politics.

Over a 12 week period, we run an online forum that allows members of the public to propose and vote on articles that will form a draft manifesto for the Working Title Party. We also call for participants in a first stage of auditions to find this country’s next great political leader.

As with Pop Idol, this first stage of auditions will make for the best TV; as it is sure to bring out the nutters and present you with something akin to the best and worst of Speaker’s Corner.

The obligatory panel of judges should include:

– a politician or ex-politician

– a political commentator (television)

– a political commentator (newspaper)

– an image consultant

The two political commentators will need to have well-established and opposing right and left wing views to provide balance (and an entertaining level of conflict).

Initial auditions will be based on the participant’s own views and proposals (we want maximum nuttage to keep those ratings ticking over); if they make it to the next round, their material from this point on will be based largely on articles drawn from the draft manifesto.

At this next stage, we have a round of heartless eliminations driven partially by the decisions of the judges, but also by the manoeuvrings that result from group interaction (basically, we’ll want to prompt some serious backstabbing).

The semi-final round will be based on short speeches or presentations that the public can vote on by text, interactive TV, or premium rate phone line. The final round itself can be run much like an election, with short films based on public appearances by candidates, and perhaps even a live debate.

Viewers will be allowed one vote and one vote only for their favourite candidate based on their charisma, leadership potential and/or the policies they support.

I know what you’re thinking and it’s not a problem, believe me.

The winning participants can be awarded prize money on a sliding scale. With this funding, the outright winner will have the freedom to begin his own party based on their views and/or the views of their competitors. Recruiting less-successful participants to form a cabinet after the series will be the true test of this individual’s leadership. In fact, the outright winner may not be the person who brings this together – there could very well be a political Darius waiting in the wings (‘I will be the leader of a political party and win an election by the age of 35!’).

So they may as a group choose to form an actual party, or they may not. That party may be led by the outright winner of the series, or it may now. Some participants may actually choose to use their funding and fame to begin a political career in existing parties.

In short, no political party will be promoted during the series, as it will not – or even may not – exist until well after the series has concluded.

The educational value of such a series should be obvious. If the views of candidates and their popular support leads to perversity, we will have made a salient point about the state of populism in politics. If it leads to diversity, we will have made a valuable contribution to the political spectrum.

Either way, to me it sounds like a ratings winner (and a nice little earner) and I’d love to hear your thoughts on its potential development.

Regards,

Tim Ireland

www.bloggerheads.com

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Date
20031013

Time
16:58
Ha! How Rush Limbaugh would have reacted to Bill Clinton admitting drug use.

The latest effort from The Ministry of Truth, Justice and the American Way: “Letters from hometown soldiers describing their successes rebuilding Iraq have been appearing in newspapers across the country as U.S. public opinion on the mission sours. And all the letters are the same.

Oh, and I made this picture. Cheered me up no end.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20031014
Flash Music Video
Time
09:00
This is just brilliant. One day soon the music industry will take their damn blinkers off and realise that presenting singles on the web inside a Flash show will allow people to discuss new songs in the open – instead of exchanging them in private.

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Date
20031014
It’s War! And Somebody’s Telling Porkies!
Time
09:02
John Scarlett, the intelligence chief in charge of putting together everybody’s favourite dossier has admitted to removing a key piece of information that would have diluted the case for war. He did so because of pressure from Downing St. Oh, and according to Sir Kevin Tebbit, Tony Blair chaired a crucial meeting which agreed how Dr David Kelly’s name would become public.

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Date
20031014
Only Interesting to Bloggers
Time
09:12
An MT-Blacklist is on the way to help bloggers fight the increasing threat of comment spam.

SixApart is also throwing some ideas around.

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Date
20031014

Time
09:16
Lenin to get fashion makeover. Sadly, it won’t be done live on TV with Susannah and Trinny.

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Date
20031014

Time
09:18
Waste-of-space ‘rebel’ Angle Grinder Man makes the New York Times. BTW, NTK revealed his secret identity a few weeks ago, but nowt has happened as a result. Just goes to show that he can’t even get himself arrested in this town.

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Date
20031014

Time
09:24
Planet Earth is blue and there’s nothing I can do…

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Date
20031014
Spam
Time
09:25
Some tips for fighting spam. As usual, it mostly involves filters and controls at your end, which means there will still be a bunch of lost or bounced messages clogging the network. It doesn’t matter if you hide your email address, as spammers have no compunmction about simple using automated guesswork and sending crap to everythingunderthesun@yourprovider.com

FFS, we know who the worst offenders are, when will someone in authority actually take to these guys with a big stick?

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20031014
Can Weblogs…? – Baring Your Bum at Bush
Time
09:34
The Finger: a comprehensive guide to flipping the bird. Giving the finger is one of the Lightweight options presented in Part II of Can Weblogs Chgase Bush Out Of Britain?. These pages are now responding very well to a variety of searches queries relating to Bush’s visit to the UK in November. Amusingly, Part I is also the No. 2 search result for ‘bum’ in Google.

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Date
20031014

Time
09:40
Watch some free videos or cool sparkly patterns inside your eyelids.

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Date
20031014

Time
09:43
Parents struggle to explain to children why Mr Gosnell isn’t their teacher anymore. Dennis William Gosnell, a fourth-grade teacher, was advertising sex for sale on websites. He was arrested last week after he allegedly agreed to perform a sex act for money with an undercover officer.

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Date
20031014

Time
09:48
No response yet to yesterday’s email about the Working Title Party, but I have heard from somebody interesting today regarding an unrelated (but equally misguided) proposal. I’m keeping it under my hat for now. Deal with it.

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Date
20031014
The Impeachment of George W Bush
Time
09:52
Heh. The Plame Affair finally has a cool name – ‘Intimigate’.

Serious probing has begun, but the widespread media blackout will probably continue until it’s all but over.

lalalalalalalala-thisisn’thappening-lalalalalalalala

BTW, Bush claims that the situation in Iraq ‘is probably better than you think’. Of course it is. That’s why there are so many positive letters to newspapers back home. It’s not like stress is a major issue and soldiers in Iraq are committing suicide or anything. Damn it, we have a country to rebuild!

*ahem*

The Independent: “US soldiers driving bulldozers, with jazz blaring from loudspeakers, have uprooted ancient groves of date palms as well as orange and lemon trees in central Iraq as part of a new policy of collective punishment of farmers who do not give information about guerrillas attacking US troops.”

lalalalalalalala-thisisn’thappening-lalalalalalalala

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20031014

Time
10:16
An Appraisal of the Utility of a Chocolate Teapot. (Link nabbed from Al.)

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Date
20031014
The Passive Resistance Movement
Time
10:29
A .org domain name has been secured for the movement. After a week or so of trying to blend a call-to-action with an identity, I stumbled across something quite nifty and more universal. In the next week or so, I’ll be lining up a secret-squirrel meeting of founding members in and around my neck of the woods so we can lay out plans for approach and content (focus will be as important as functionality).

Put simply, the movement will be a starting point for budding activists, prompting them to take one (collective) action a month.

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Date
20031014
Photoshopping
Time
10:35
Ahahahahahaha! They’ve been enjoying a bit of a Kill Bill bandwagon over at the B3ta messageboard. So far, this is the silliest, this is the sickest and this is the slickest.

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Date
20031014
Search Engine Optimisation
Time
11:46
Andrew Orlowski really should try switching medication. For once, he has a valid point (some automated aspects of weblog linkage should and probably will be discounted by Google) but that point is lost because he still sounds like some poor sod whose mother ran away with a weblog. That, and his ‘reference’ links mostly point to his own bloody articles (but, thankfully, not his own websites, which are the very definition of empty and useless space).

Own up, El Reg… this has been a wind-up from start to finish, hasn’t it? There comes a time when a troll goes beyond a joke, and that’s pretty much now. We’re bored. It’s over.

Related:

Andrew Orlowski is a weblogger – and not a very good one.

Andrew Orlowski not only misses the point, he quotes conveniently anonymous readers and fails to give valid examples.

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Date
20031014

Time
13:29
Isn’t it interesting that, just as we’re learning how to plug monkey brains into robots, a new kind of robot is developed that’s able to do complex martial arts moves? They’re developing giant monkey-driven warbots, people! With a nuclear arsenal and a hankering for bananas! Life as we know it is over…

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Date
20031014
Anyone but George
Time
14:28
A number of recent mid-term elections in the US saw sudden and unexpected swings in favour of Republican candidates when voters actually went to the polls. On electronic voting machines developed and provided by companies that are all prominent Republican Party donors. With vote counts that were not conducted by state elections officials, but by these same private companies. On machines that, under the contract of provision, cannot legally be checked for accuracy and – conveniently – were set up in such a way as to totally rule out any kind of recount.

Read this article at The Independent or check out the mirror at commondreams.org

Show it to an American who thinks that their vote is worth a damn.

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Date
20031015
The End of Democracy
Time
09:03
I’ve been following reactions to this article in The Independent on the subversion of the democratic process in the US (via dodgy electronic voting systems provided and administered largely in secret by pro-Republican companies) and thought I’d share a couple of interesting posts with you.

Frank over at exit.com (that’s a cool domain you’ve got there, fella) noted in in his post on the subject that:

“These companies have an obvious conflict of interest, given that they have political interests in the outcome of elections and they provide the mechanisms by which the government conducts those elections. Further, they have managed to hide the evidence of their malice and dishonesty behind draconian ‘trade secret’ agreements that forbid anyone from auditing their devices.”

Billmon noted in this post, as many did, the wider implications of this story being reported in the UK, but not in the US. Thank Dog we have blogs:

“The fact that such an important and thoroughly researched story appeared in The Independent, and not the New York Times or the Washington Post, is a pointed comment, I suppose, on the long decline of American journalism.

“It seems voting machines aren’t the only democratic devices in danger of failing.”

Tom Watson’s post drew a few comments, most notably this one from Neil Walshaw:

“Thats one of the scariest political stories I’ve ever heard. It broke on Salon.com a couple of weeks ago with a run through of the software problems and I have been waiting for it to become a scandal and so far very little.

“America (has) been America though and the mainstream media hasn’t picked up on it. There’s a surprise.

“It raises the question – what ever happened to paper and pen? Americans should keep their voting like they keep their President – Simple.”

A quick search revealed the Salon.com article he mentions. It requires subscription if you wish to read it in full, but if you’re interested in seeing the opening shot you can find it here:

Salon.com “Not only is the country’s leading touch-screen voting system so badly designed that votes can be easily changed, but its manufacturer is run by a die-hard GOP donor who vowed to deliver his state for Bush next year.”

If you’d like to track comments and reactions right along with me, you can see the Blogdex link cosmos here and here or the Technorati link cosmos here and here.

UPDATE – The London News Review is onto it, too. Check it out.

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Date
20031015

Time
09:19
This is cool stuff: see the Third Reich in ruins (link via Ultimate Insult).

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Date
20031015
Tony Blair’s Email
Time
09:21
Heh. Voidstar thinks that Tony Blair should have a blog. A real one, not a bullshit collection of press releases like Dubya has.

I’d be happy to design and produce such a thing, but I’d want to be paid this time, damn it!

Oh, and regarding the issue of Downing St ripping off my specifications for a viable email facility for Tony Blair?

A thought occurred this morning (mornings are a dangerous time for me). It wasn’t until the exchange of emails with Cherie Blair that my existence was finally acknowledged (at least in part) by Tony’s IT team. Before I talked to Cherie, I couldn’t get past the switchboard or the press office. After talking to Cherie, it was; ‘Hello, IT department!’

I also made Cherie aware of the relevant specifications during this exchange of emails (all the way back in February), so it should be clear to her that I have a case.

I’ll let you know what she comes back with.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20031015

Time
09:30
FunJunkie have picked up on the cybernetic killer monkey threat:

“The monkeys will come, and then we will die. Its as simple as that.”

You have been warned.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20031015
Christianity Watch
Time
09:36
The Vatican may claim that condoms have tiny, invisible little holes that let the HIV virus through, but if condoms can’t stop AIDS, then Christian Panties sure as heck will. The Best Caption on a G-String Award goes to:

“Remember: you pray with that mouth!”

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Date
20031015

Time
09:41
Oi! Canadians! Stop being so damn smug. You too are under threat of psychic attack.

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Date
20031015
Riding High on Blogdex
Time
09:43
Bush bypasses ‘biased’ national media; courts regional media. Because it’s easier to corrupt.

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Date
20031015
The Working Title Party
Time
09:45
The BBC are first out of the gate with a response to The Working Title Party. The proposal has been officially logged and added to a document queue somewhere in the system. That’s one in the pot…

UPDATE – The following clipping was spotted and scanned by Wibbler….

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Date
20031015
Pluggage
Time
09:59
Steve’s mate Paul Wagner is performing a one-man play entitled God, Inc!

It’s on in London on Oct 14th and again from the 23rd-25th at the Hen & Chickens Theatre at 8pm

Margaret Ishola and Zoe Philpott didn’t think much of it, but Toby Fox did. As with any corporate religious experience, I think it’s important that you attend and make up your own mind.

UPDATE – Sara Daniels writes:

“I’ve seen some bad shows at the Edinburgh Fringe in my time, but this one really took the biscuit. The two jokes just went oooooon so long, used over and over again. I don’t know who put up the good review at Chortle but they must have been a plant. There were only 15 people in the show I went to and 5 walked out before the end (a couple of them were quite near the start, actually). Fucking dire, in all honesty. It was at times like watching the death of a comedian.

“Does it tell you something that 2 months later I’m still angry about the hour and a half of my life (he overran, forgivable in a good comedian but unforgivable in a shite one) that this puerile crap took away?”

Hmmm. Your call, gang. See it or don’t. Me, I’m not in any position to judge as I haven’t seen this show, and a proposed one-man show based on The Star Wars Photoshopping Project has been rejected outright by a number of venues. Presumably because they think it would be equally crap.

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Date
20031015

Time
10:07
What do Eighty-Seven Billion, Eight Hundred Seventy-Eight Million, Seven Hundred Eighty-Seven Thousand, Eight Hundred Seventy-Eight Big Macs look like? (Link via everlasting blort.)

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Date
20031015
It’s War! And There’s Money To Be Made!
Time
12:43
The Guardian: About 100 private companies, mainly from Britain and the US, gathered in London yesterday to discuss investment opportunities in post-Saddam Iraq. Even McDonald’s was in attendance, because they don’t have an outlet in Baghdad. Yet.

More from what is obviously a misleading pinko broadsheet:

Lord Alexander, a leading legal peer, accused the attorney general last night of “scraping the bottom of the legal barrel” to give legitimacy to the war on Iraq.

One can only wonder why Blair forced/cajoled us into giving crucial legitimacy to the ‘coalition of the cowed’. Perhaps he needed Bush’s support in the war on Spam.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20031015

Time
13:31
Chris Eubank has been arrested after a one-man protest against the military presence in Iraq. He turned up outside Downing Street (that’s the place with the big bloody gates) inside his vehicle of choice (which happens to be a big bloody truck).

Sadly, all that was damaged was a delivery van.

Fun activities follow:

Read this same news article in authentic Eubanksian.

Email Chris Eubank and thank him for being one of the (very) few celebrities with the guts to speak out and take action.

(I’m planning on doing the latter in 5, 4, 3, 2…)








Posted in Uncategorized | Comments Off on 01-15 October, 2003

16-30 September, 2003

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Date
20030916
The Californian Recall
Time
08:54
Aww, poor widdle Arnie won’t get to go redistwicting… and it’s all down to the unreliability of the punch-card system that allowed The Unworthy One into office. There’s a mighty fine online interview with Washington Post Los Angeles Bureau Chief William Booth here. Enjoy.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030916
11/9 (please note correct formatting of date)
Time
09:00
John & Mirjam sent in this wonderful Sept. 11th memorial. There was also a cool Arnold Schwarzenegger clip but, happily, this has now become rather dated and unnecessary.

Also, read about the truck driver who closed down eight miles of interstate highway with a ‘flip remark’ about explosives in his load.

UPDATE – Yet another juicy conspiracy theory for you and news that – surprise, surprise – recent anti-terrorism laws in the U.S. are increasingly being use to fight common criminals.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030916
It’s War! And Somebody’s Telling Porkies!
Time
09:13
Hanging Day presents a few words from the troops. Also, The Guardian reveals that quite a few more troops have been injured in Iraq than the administration/military has let on.

Christiane Amanpour, CNN’s top war correspondent, has said that the press muzzled itself during the Iraq war as a result of intimidation by the Bush administration ‘a climate of fear and self-censorship’ kept alive by Rupert ‘The Evil One’ Murdoch’s Fox News flunkies.

Meanwhile, China is sending armed forces to ‘monitor’ the North Korean border. It’s a ‘routine adjustment,’ so relax.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030916

Time
09:22
Family left homeless after demolition crew takes right/wrong turn.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030916

Time
09:24
You don’t have to agree with all of it, but you should read it: Ian Buruma on the Bush regime. It’s a long article. Save it for lunch and have a good chew.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030916

Time
09:26
Sorry, it’s turning out to be a terribly political morning. Exit quietly and go hang gliding if you feel you need a break. (Link nabbed from FunJunkie.)

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030916
Anyone but George
Time
09:29
Bruce Springsteen tells concertgoers: “It’s time to impeach the president and get a man in there to get us out of this mess!”

Also, here’s some material to help you spread dissent. The Orwellian triptych in particular is inspired.

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Date
20030916
Christianity Watch
Time
09:37
Parents whose infant daughter died of meningitis after they treated her with prayer instead of medicine are charged with child abuse and involuntary manslaughter.

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Date
20030916

Time
09:39
Industrial rock band Hell On Earth are to feature a live suicide at their Oct 4th performance. It’s to raise awareness for ‘dying with dignity’…

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Date
20030916

Time
09:42
OK, let’s break for some serious news: Gloria Estefan doesn’t think much of David Blaine’s nappies.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030916

Time
09:43
No matter where I turn this morning… the Bush administration has decided that all Canadians travelling to the United States should carry a passport. Papers! Papers, please!

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030916

Time
09:45
Font Browser lets you see what fonts are installed and active on your system. Useful for anybody unable to find the Control Panel, I suppose.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030916
The Political Weblog Movement
Time
09:47
Meet Douglas Alexander. He’ll be playing an important role in Labour’s election campaign, dontcha know?

In this article, he references Howard Dean and certain new technologies, before going on to say:

Above all Labour’s next campaign will have a back to the future edge: there will be an emphasis on local campaigning – “a move from a mass campaign to a personal campaign”. Mr Alexander believes that “local sources of information are far more trusted, so that mums at the school gate, or a workmate at the workplace has far more credibility than some of the traditional forms of media”.

Now, I wonder what he could be talking about there?

Your mission today, should you choose to accept it, is to get in touch with Mr Alexander and warn him how easy it is to stuff these things up.

You may also want to warn him that the time for action is now, and not a few months before the election.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030916
Can Weblogs…? – Baring Your Bum at Bush
Time
12:45
German pole vaulter Tim Lobinger faces a US$5,000 fine after dropping his shorts in protest at a decision by the judges during the World Athletics final in Monaco at the weekend. Not as serious as it sounds; it’s being docked from his winnings – and Monaco’s Royal Family got a proper eyeful, which is nice.

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Date
20030916
Photoshopping
Time
13:45
No prizes for guessing who’s on my mind today.

“This will take time and require sacrifice…anybody got a problem with that…?”

UPDATE – Marcus has kindly emailed in to let us know that the Sunday Herald article is enjoying extended coverage courtesy of Indymedia.

I’m still looking for a flash developer to do a show for the campaign song, BTW. Pop your hand up if you have some free time this week.

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Date
20030916
Anyone but George
Time
16:34
Off On a Tangent has led me to some excellent information that you may wish to share with less enlightened friends.

This is a welcome return to form from the recently rant-prone Michael Moore (whose site-based forum mysteriously disappeared just before the war, and has yet to re-appear). Looks like he’s switched to de-caf.

That Ladies Home Journal interview looks to be a classic, but the content Michael Moore references does not appear in the excerpt presented on the LHJ website. I’d be willing to pay someone to send me a hard copy, just for my own reference (and peace of mind) so do get in touch if you’re in a position to help out.

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Date
20030916

Time
17:27
Man arrested after cutting cables leading from David Blaine’s box. That’s cable’s coming from the box, not cables holding it up. Still no need to get excited, folks.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030917
Weblog Marketing
Time
09:53
Oh dear God, this is pathetic. Some loser has decided to effectively spam Blogdex and other blog aggregators by opening up multiple blogs that all link to a central ‘sell’ blog.

The central spamblog is located here, and is chock-full of affiliate toss.

Inbound linkage, apart from one link at Everything I Read who, along with Evil Pundit of Doom, was one of the first to rumble this guy, comes from the following Blogger weblogs, and has resulted in a 7th-place listing at Blogdex:

henryimbriaconashville.blogspot.com

ironhanksview.blogspot.com

henry-imbriaco.blogspot.com

henryimbriacohealth.blogspot.com

totechsol.blogspot.com

henryimbriacorealestate.blogspot.com

totechsol.blogspot.com

henryimbriacocomedy.blogspot.com

henryimbriacohealth.blogspot.com

henryimbriacomovies.blogspot.com

henryimbriaconashville.blogspot.com

A quick search for Henry Imbriaco revealed a number of other weblogs started by this same individual, and a Technorati lookup on the spamblog shows not only a bunch of other blogs not picked up by Blogdex, but also a trail that leads right back to what appears to be his central weblog (no, he doesn’t work for Budweiser, that address stems from this free email service).

The man is quite obviously a genius of the highest order, so you may wish to also read his thoughts on marketing at his ecademy.com profile.

Apart from a few automated instances (say, when Tripod closed down ‘dead’ sites registered with Blogdex and placed the same commercial partnership link at each of them) this appears to be the first marketing wankage of its kind, and as such it needs a name.

I’ve decided to christen this lame stunt a Barney Gumble, after this great man’s highly convincing multi-personality turn in The Simpsons (Episode 2F21 – The Springfield Connection), where our hero, Homer, Moe, Carl and Lenny are sitting around playing poker. Barney, concerned about the beer supply, uses a cunning ploy to send Homer to his carhole to fetch more Duff:

Barney: Hey Homer, I’m worried about the beer supply. After this case, and the other case, there’s only one case left!

(Barney hides his mouth behind his beer can and begins to throw his voice)

Yeah, yeah! Uh, Barney’s right.

Yeah, let’s drink some more beer.

Yeah!

Hey, what about some beer?

Yeah, Barney’s right.

Genius. Sheer (if somewhat adulterated) genius.

And, speaking of which, there is an old adage about great discoveries being made at the same time by scientists who are working independently, and – lo and behold – there is yet another genius is at work on the Movable Type front, running a series of ‘personal’ weblogs that are merely fronts for porn sites.

This trail starts at the decidedly NSFW trickytarts.com and leads to a number of other ‘tricky’ blogs on different themes ranging from attractive soccer moms to ladies with (ahem) extra equipment.

I wouldn’t go following that trail, BTW. It’s not at all safe for viewing at work and will only depress you in the end. Suffice it to say that it exists, and the effort is a load of crotchless pants.

(Note – as I still dwell in the dark ages of blogging and have no permalinks, chums and chumettes of Bloggerheads with more advanced blogs may feel free to repeat this post in its entirety for reference purposes.)

UPDATE – Rich from FunJunkie informs me that trickytarts.com have hit their site with referral spam in the recent past. Doesn’t surprise me at all.

UPDATE II – The discussion about this post at ecademy is bound to be interesting. As with the Raging Cow debate, I’m sure someone, somewhere is right now carefully examining my pot for telltale signs of blackness.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030917

Time
10:03
Yesterday was a great day in politics and today appears to be an equally impressive day in the history of online marketing.

Verisign have, in their infinite wisdom, decided that when you type an incorrect URL you should, instead of receiving an error message, receive a message from their chosen advertiser.

The implications of this crass move are explained clearly at Slashdot and The Register.

UPDATE – No, wait! There does appear to be some hope after all! Martin Lloyd has completed his MBA and he’s sure to come out kicking. After he’s finished bumming around Amsterdam for two weeks, that is.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030917
Anyone but George
Time
10:39
I spent a bit of time last night pondering the growing unrest in the U.S. and wondered what specific move – if any – would be enough to start a significant groundswell against the Bush regime.

Then I woke up this morning and found a surge in popularity for new sites like amiserablefailure.com, nobodydied.com and misleader.org

It appears that the moment involved, as you would expect, a sudden and unexpected shock to the wallet. It’s just taken folks a few days to get their hosting sorted.

Adding to the increasingly loud whispers are John Burns’ account of media control in Iraq before, during and after the war and the rather unfortunately named Col. David H. Hackworth’s thoughts on persistent lies about the Saddam/WTC connection. Even Donald Rumsfled has let slip that the connection is a load of old cobblers.

(UPDATE – Alternet has more on this. It’s a good read, and references the welcome awakening.)

You know what I want? I want this realisation to grow. I want Bush forcibly removed from office by any fair and legal means possible.

And, you’ll pardon me for saying so, but I think Tony Blair deserves a public arse-kicking as well.

Be warned that this will be no easy affair. Opponents of Bush and Blair will be ruthlessly attacked by the Murdoch media empire and the use of misdirection and misinformation will ascend to dizzier and dizzier levels.

The resulting power vacuum on both sides of the Atlantic will be messy, but it’s too late to simply put the ‘French’ back into fries. Just look at the mess this team has led us into and have a quiet think about how much worse it can get if left uncorrected.

Regime change begins at home. Let’s show them how to do it without needless bloodshed.

And bottoms. Lots and lots of bottoms.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030917

Time
10:48
I first saw mention of AngleGrinder Man a few days ago, and must admit to yawning more than once. I seriously didn’t think it was blogworthy, but the media are eating it up. Well, it does provide readers with a heady dose of rebellion. In an entirely non-political way, of course.

Hm. Maybe it’s time that I switched to de-caf.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030917

Time
10:56
This is a fine gallery of old magician’s posters. In fact, it gives me a fine idea for a B3ta challenge, which I’ll suggest later today. (Link via The Ultimate Insult.)

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030917
Follow Up
Time
10:59
Petition makes print: will Star Wars Kid get a Star Wars role?

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030917

Time
11:00
What are the worst jobs in science? Smelling other people’s farts is at No. 1

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030917

Time
11:02
Smokers of Canada’s government-approved marijuana say it’s ‘disgusting’ and want their money back.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030917
Flash Thingies
Time
11:04
Spot the difference. (Slighty NSFW.)

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030917

Time
11:05
Ahahahahahaha! Crank caller phones RIAA amnesty line to ‘surrender’.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030917
Can Weblogs…? – Baring Your Bum at Bush
Time
11:06
Whispers reach me that the Bare Your Bum at Bush campaign has rated a mention in The Independent (it’s in Pandora, so no link is available, I’m sorry). It tries to tie the campaign to Richard Allan and Tom Watson, which is a bit cheeky.

For the record… these are the actions of a slightly imbalanced man working independently.

Well, not entirely independently. Here’s a handy list of nice people who have supported the campaign with linkage.

Incidentally, it was Pandora that first went to print with news of the hoax address for Tony Blair way back in 2001, and it was on this day last year that I first got the idea for the Tony Blair Email campaign.

Oh, and remember that Sun article that got my daily stats ass-backwards? Turns out it was quite prophetic. The number of individual daily visitors to Bloggerheads has, in the last two weeks, leaped from 1500 a day to over 15,000. On average, the server is now feeding a hungry populace 430Mb of data per day. Per day.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030917
Riding High on Blogdex
Time
12:57
CalPundit has done a damn fine interview with Paul Krugman. This is today’s must-read.

Outright lies from the Bush regime about the economy and the war, and not your usual lies, either – but downright scary 2+2=5 stuff. Toward the end, Krugman predicts a drastic change.

Scan down below the article and check out the comments (if you dare), and have a look at what other people are saying about this on their own weblogs.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030917
It’s War! And Somebody’s Telling Porkies!
Time
13:53
How did I miss this? Britain and America have decided to delay indefinitely the publication of a full report on Iraq’s weapons of mass destruction after inspectors found no evidence that any such weapons exist.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030917
Bunch of Stuff
Time
17:01
Sing this to the tune of She’ll Be Coming Round The Mountain, but do be careful… you could be infringing copyright.

After you’ve finished ogling women in spacesuits, you’ll want to take a peek at SomethingAwful’s collection of alternative iPod ads and if you’re into coding and love Google, then Google is interested in loving you back (but do make sure that you fill out the right forms first).

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030918

Time
09:20
Man buys cookie jar from long-lost-brother on eBay.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030918

Time
09:21
“If you are young man or a first time buyer of expensive jewelry, this website may seem long-winded.” No! Really?

Spend some time getting to know Capetown Diamond’s founder and chairman, Carl Kenneth Marcus and buy a watch, dammit!

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030918

Time
09:23
Huzzah! The winners have been announced for the Anti-Terrorism License Plate Contest! (Link via TTR2.)

That’s some mighty effective proper-gander the kids have come up with there. Should keep the terrorists at bay for years (but if you’re still feeling nervous, feel free to back your number-plate up with a Baby on Board sign – and maybe a stick-on Garfield with an AK-47).

Here’s a slightly chummier contest for kids in the UK:

Win the chance to be the speaking clock!

I heard about this on Radio 2 yesterday when they interviewed the chap who has been the voice of the speaking clock for the last 18 years – and was quite tickled to learn that he’s the same guy who did the ‘Stand by for action! 5, 4, 3, 2, 1…’ intro that began every Thunderbirds episode.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030918
Riding High on Blogdex
Time
09:35
The Gospel of Supply Side Jesus

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Date
20030918

Time
09:37
Fellas, check your trousers. Is anything missing?

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Date
20030918

Time
09:39
Kansas senator Sam Brownback introduced legislation on Tuesday that could prove a real headache for the RIAA. Let’s hear it for due process!

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Date
20030918

Time
09:42
Meet the monster-sized marsupial that’s a distant relation of koalas and wombats. And people still don’t believe in Dropbears…?

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030918

Time
09:47
Competition and spectator tickets are now on sale for the 2003 Rock Paper Scissors International World Championships! (Cheers, Funjunkie.)

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030918

Time
09:50
Well, how about that? Monkeys covet.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030918

Time
09:52
If you’re setting out on a journey to fight evil today, you may need this map. Alternatively, why not take your dog for a walk so he can leave a little present outside the White House?

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030918
Anyone but George
Time
10:13
A lot of positive noise around yesterday about Wesley Clark’s announcement that he was joining the presidential race. His official site is here and charting quite well on Blogdex this morning.

Me, I don’t know the man from Adam, but I did poke around a bit and found this report on the man damn near starting WWIII. Perhaps he was having a bad day. And perhaps you may wish to Vote Hamster instead.

OK, maybe I’m being a little unfair. Bush is leading the polls, after all. Despite being a liar and despot. Media control is everything, baby!

America needs a leader to take this next election by the balls. If there isn’t one strong point of focus, Bush could get Nadered right back in again.

Still, why wait? Steve sent me the following link that you may wish to act on:

Sign the petition to move for impeachment.

Not just Bush, but also his willing partner in crime, Dick Cheney.

Best news this morning? The awakening over the last few days has actually has an effect:

President Bush admits that there was no evidence that former Iraqi President Saddam Hussein was involved in the Sept. 11th terrorist attacks. Erm, but in the same breath, he’s denying that this false connection was used to justify war.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030918

Time
10:15
Burp!

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030918

Time
11:01
Hooray for Ruben Pla, one of the finest actors of our generation. You doubt me? Pshaw! Just look at his range!

I don’t suppose anybody know where I can find the remarkable Internet serial Cosmic Fury? I’d love to see it.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030918

Time
12:08
Tomorrow be International Talk Like a Pirate Day. Prepare your office for action with this PDF poster and brush up on your pirate-speak with this handy guide.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030918
Photoshopping
Time
16:44

Woof!

Oh, and you’ll love this pirated image from over at B3ta. You’ll laugh like a loon, says I.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030918

Time
16:52
I’ve just put my application in for the 2004 Onians Fellowship. If you think you have something new to offer the business world, you have just over a week to flesh out your brilliant idea (in less than 500 words) and get your form in.

Do it now. Tomorrow you’ll be too busy talking like a pirate.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030918

Time
17:02
Bloody hell. Just look at the size of Hurricane Isabel!

Some more pictures from Yahoo of fun and games at ground level can be found here.

Good luck everyone in range of the storm whose power hasn’t been cut yet. It’s probably a bit late to break out the duct tape, but at least try to be careful.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030918
Can Weblogs…? – Baring Your Bum at Bush
Time
17:28
Heh. Check out Richard Allan’s reaction to being unfairly linked to the Bare Your Bum at Bush campaign by The Independent. (Found via Tom, who is more restrained but just as understanding about the whole thing…)

Oh, and I’ve cracked the language barrier again. Hungarian this time. That’s a first, as far as I can recall. I don’t suppose anyone would care to translate?

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030919

Time
10:03
Arrr, Pri’ate Eye be clutchin’ at straws as part o’ a petty campaign against t’Guardian.

This keelhaulin’ began after Paul Carr’s art’cl about their missin’ the point o’ Tom Watson’s Teens page.

Ya-harr, t’Guardian reports on t’Interwebnet more than any other UK newspaper, and that be the truth.

Anybody who knows anythin’ about t’Interwebnet knows what a major force Google be. If ye report on t’Interwebnet, ye’ll end up spendin’ a lot o’ time talkin’ about Google – as t’Guardian has (and not always in a positi’e manner, me hearties).

And if we’re goin’ t’ talk about ad’ertisin’ placement, let’s be lookin’ at this same issue o’ Pri’ate Eye which be carryin’ a full-page ad for a new ser’ice from BT/Yahoo. As any daft son o’a sea biscuit knows, Yahoo be the nearest thin’ Google has t’ a serious competitor, and they’re settin’ themsel’es up t’ be in a much stronger position t’ compete.

How nice o’ Lord Gnome t’ take their filthy lucre and hang the enemy from the yardarm t’ aid their cause.

Not that Yahoo be the only benefactor.

Pri’ate Eye also takes time t’ print paid ad’ertisements for sites such as the eye-rection-boostin’ www.generic-viagras.com, Herbalife privateer www.iwantmorethanthis.com and toss-title pro’ider www.elitetitles.co.uk

Perhaps t’Guardian carries many ads for Google a’cos they don’t be ha’in’ as much choice as the come-one-come-all Eye.

This one be takin’ the sea-biscuit, and no mistake!

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030919

Time
10:09
Yarrr, two men have been found guilty by her Majesty’s court o’ casting fake doubloons (and doubloon be spel’t with only one ‘l’).

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030919

Time
10:11
Thar be nothin’ I fear on land, be it man or beast, but the ungodly creatures o’ the deep still make me shiver with feare.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030919
Ridin’ High on Blogdex
Time
10:13
Avast! I be wantin’ me own paragraph in t’future o’ blogging.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030919

Time
10:19
Unworthy cur subjects sea-dog to semen. It be a crime against nature.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030919

Time
10:21
Ah-har, ah-har, ah-har-har-har! ‘Lord’ Archer be a lord no more!

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030919

Time
10:22
Thar be unhealthy stirrin’ in the East, as Saudi Arabia arms with the ultimate cannon.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030919

Time
10:41
They be stealin’ our words! This calls for mutiny, m’lads!

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030919
Photoshoppin’
Time
10:42
Ah-harr, Bush be playin’ dress-up again!

Ye can be seein’ a larger version over the dateline at B3ta.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030919

Time
10:57
Yarrr! Ah-harr! It be International Talk Like a Pirate Day today!

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030919

Time
12:13
New virus ahoy!

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030919

Time
12:49
Avast, ye swabs! Ye be nowhere today without the Random Pirate Insult Generator. Ye’ll be needin’ it to fend off the lily-livered landlubbers questioning yer rightful pirate status.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030919
Spam’n
Time
13:13
Arrrrrr, it now be a criminal offence to spam in the UK, but this new law of the land only covers yer personal address, mates. (Yarrr, it blows….)

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030919
Photoshoppin’
Time
13:17
Ah-harrr! I be front-paged over at B3ta with this treasured masterpiece.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030919

Time
13:23
Versign be softenin’ their partnership page to include other domains ye be seekin’. Here be an example.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030922
Anyone but George
Time
09:25
Justin (whose site appears to be down this morning) was kind enough to email me on Friday with an image alert.

This familiar image appears in a double page spread of the current issue of New Statesman.

If you’d care to pick up a copy (or subscribe online) there’s also a grand article by Mark Thomas on the recent arms fair protests and use of anti-terrorist laws to curtail the legal right to peaceful protest.

I found this article in Saturday’s Independent to be extremely heartening. It seems the military community is joining the awakening. The Guardian also reports a 14-point fall in overall approval ratings for The Unworthy One.

The Nation also predicts a gloomy future for Bush in light of the quite savage by-election backlash here in Brent-East.

Goodbye, George. I can’t say it’s been a pleasure knowing you, but it sure has been interesting.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030922

Time
09:38
Owning a cat may increase your chances of becoming schizophrenic or manic depressive. If you’re in any doubt about the ownership of a cat leading to significant mental problems, I’d like to present the following additional proof.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030922

Time
09:42
Men holding Bible class capture murder suspect who interrupted a discussion on biblical prophecies. Bet nobody saw that coming.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030922

Time
09:46
Finally someone gets the point. It’s not that Londoners are hostile, it’s just that we fail to see the point of David Blaine’s little box stunt.

OK, so maybe we’re a little bit hostile

(Latter link via Rogi, who’s made a welcome return to regular bloggage.)

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030922
A Blog Is Born
Time
09:53
The Soulrage Project is a quest to take over the world, inspired by the blog you see before you. Perhaps the early stages of world conquest can include getting my name right….?

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030922
Does What It Says On The Tin
Time
09:56
They’re cold and impersonal, but unlikely to press charges. Find out more at statuemolesters.com

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030922

Time
09:58
U.S. soldier shoots a rare Bengal tiger at Baghdad zoo. They turned up in ‘casual dress’, drinking beer. After closing time. They broke into a protective cage to get closer so they could try and feed the tiger. The tiger bit and clawed the idiot trying to feed it. So one of the soldiers shot the animal dead. Nice.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030922
The Political Weblog Movement
Time
10:03
Huzzah! Tobias Ph. E. Romer is on the case in Switzerland.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030922

Time
10:05
I tried to track down the full online version of this Saddam in secret negotiations with the US story at The Mirror, but all I found out was that Mariah Carey is single and desperate.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030922

Time
10:32
U.N. compound hit in second car bomb attack. This follows an attempt on Akila Al-Hashimi’s life on Saturday.

Stability appears to present a problem to someone’s agenda.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030922

Time
10:43
For those who missed the alert on Friday (there’s at least one of you): The Swen virus masquerades as a new Microsoft patch – find out how to avoid it, and what to do in the case of infection.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030922

Time
10:50
David Blunkett doesn’t have a bloody clue how many illegal immigrants are in the country and seems to think that curtailing the civil liberties of law-abiding citizens is the solution (via Ionica).

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030923
Doing The Rounds
Time
10:05
Beware the dreaded lurgy,

It will take you from behind;

It will drip-drip-drip your sinuses,

And swiftly fog your mind.

The screen! The screen!

It hurts my eyes,

This rotten little bug;

Bed rest! Bed rest!

And chicken soup,

And lots and lots of drugs.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030924

Time
09:24
William Blair is hot. David Blaine is not.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030924

Time
09:25
Parents seek to ban Aldous Huxley’s Brave New World and Robert Heinlein’s Stranger in a Strange Land. The claim is that they may lead to ‘inappropriate sexual arousal of young teens’.

Incidentally, this week is Banned Books Week. The list of The 100 Most Frequently Challenged Books of 1990–2000 makes for interesting reading.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030924
Riding High on Blogdex
Time
09:32
Search Google by location. If that location is in the U.S.

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Date
20030924
Does What It Says On The Tin
Time
09:33
Bring life back into the old soldier with zombiepinups.com (link via TTR2).

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Date
20030924
The Californian Recall
Time
09:35
Court rules that recall can go ahead in October. Oh well. At least we shut Arnie up for a couple of weeks.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030924

Time
09:36
Mother throws baby out window (minus bathwater). She claims it jumped.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030924
Rupert ‘The Evil One’ Murdoch
Time
09:37
You know the Lib-Dems have made it when The Sun gets this desperate.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030924

Time
09:40
Tasteless website probed by police for humiliating the homeless. They claim they can’t do much, as the site has now closed down. Have they checked the archive?

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030924

Time
09:43
Hungarians have more sex than anyone and Australia is the gayest country in the world. The same survey claims that Australians were twice as likely to fake their orgasms. How does that work, then?

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030924

Time
09:46
Army admits using personal passenger data provided by Jet Blue. A group of passengers have already sued the airline.

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Date
20030924

Time
09:50
U.S. Army plays nice: Send toys to Iraqi children. No guns, please.

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Date
20030924
Can Weblogs…? – Baring Your Bum at Bush
Time
10:30
This looks like the news we’ve been waiting for folks: Buckingham Palace is due to announce details of George W Bush’s visit to the UK within a week.

The article claims that Bush will receive ‘a full ceremonial welcome’… too bloody right!

If you want to keep an eye out for this impending press release, then this is the page to watch.

Thanks to the Martyn Traynor, we also have a link to this Ananova article, which ties the impending announcement to plans being made by the Stop the War Coalition.

UPDATE – The mass mooning may very well take place outside the palace. Does anyone know what kind of view the Belgian Suite provides? Also, if Bush is addressing both Houses of Parliament, then our chances of getting a bum inside are greatly increased. Somewhere out there is a Lord or MP willing to make the ultimate political statement. Nominations gratefully accepted.

I watched George W Bush’s address to the U.N. live yesterday afternoon. More of the same old lies, dressed up with a few new weapons of mass distraction, including the ever-trusty back-up plea for us to pleeeease think about the children.

I actually choked on my Lemsip when he claimed that he and his cronies had acted ‘to defend the peace, and the credibility of the United Nations’.

If he really believes that, then we are in trouble.

Daily Kos has some thoughts on this speech, and on the subsequent interview on Rupert ‘The Evil One’ Murdoch’s FOX News network.

I’m sure it won’t surprise you to learn that Bush protects his feeble little brain from the turmoil of the outside world, rarely reading actual news and instead scanning the headlines and trusting entirely in his advisors (the clever chaps who’ve decided that Friday is the best day to release bad news).

Hmm, perhaps then the secret to reaching The Unworthy One is putting the story in the headline. Here’s a good one to start with:

Poll: Bush down, Clark up

Don’t plan on the election saving you, BTW. Bush already has a plan to sort out those pesky percentages.

I know it’s getting chilly, folks – but you should be preparing yourself to bare those buttocks and send Dubya a message that’s crystal-clear (and doesn’t contain any long or difficult words).

Note – Today’s image comes to you courtesy of One-Term President. Download and display a copy for yourself today.

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Date
20030924
Rupert ‘The Evil One’ Murdoch
Time
13:22
Tuesday: The Sun calls Frank Bruno ‘bonkers’ and is forced to make humiliating climbdown.

Wednesday: The Sun makes a donation to charidee by way of apology… and makes a Happy Meal of it that – sadly – many of their readers will swallow.

1. Asking readers to chip in to boost their donation. And the whole country’s behind them, folks!

2. Columnist Jane Moore (longtime servant of The Evil One) asks you to pray for Frank. It’s a ‘cautionary tale of modern times’…

3. “No one loves Frank Bruno more than The Sun. We’ve been by his side throughout his career, sharing his triumphs and helping shoulder his tragedies…” Which, presumably, is why they were kind enough to print the retraction that appears in the archive results today under to the original story and the longer, fluffier one.

What a bunch of shameless hypocrites!

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030925
Anyone but George
Time
09:20
“(Saddam) has not developed any significant capability with respect to weapons of mass destruction. He is unable to project conventional power against his neighbors.”

Secretary Colin L. Powell in Cairo, Egypt on February 24, 2001

Well, waddya know? He was right!

A CIA-led team of 1,400 weapons experts and support staff, and all they found was a few suspiciously clean bunsen burners.

But George W Bush is still using this old chestnut while telling the UN to drop dead.

Well, he didn’t actually say ‘drop dead,’ but according to reports, Wesley Clark did take the time to say ”Limbaugh’s full of shit.”

A few opening barbs have been sent Wesley Clark’s way, BTW. He appears to have dealt with them like an actual human being.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030925

Time
09:22
Behold the winner of The Most Phallic Building of the World competition. London’s lovable Gherkin took the ‘Best Uncircumcised Building’ award.

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Date
20030925

Time
09:26
I didn’t comment on MSN closing down their chat rooms yesterday, as I don’t use chat rooms much and didn’t feel qualified to comment – but I do know an overreaction when I see one. Check out this screengrab from The Mirror’s most recent online poll.

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Date
20030925

Time
09:29
Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey (via TTR2, who are spot on about it being addictive).

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Date
20030925
Does What It Says On The Tin
Time
09:31
Shed a sympathetic tear at oldmencrying.com

Also, you may wish to spare a thought for the lost soul at single-male.com

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030925

Time
09:32
Bomb squad called in to dispose of box of candy. A local church youth group left it in place as a ‘random act of kindness’…

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Date
20030925
My Son Calls Them ‘Evil Corporations’
Time
09:34
What money wants, money gets: a federal court has blocked the U.S. national ‘do not call’ list days before it was due to come into effect. You’ll want to come out fighting this one…

In other news, the RIAA has dropped its lawsuit against a 66-year-old grandmother who was supposed to have downloaded and shared over 2000 songs online. Including the rap song I’m a Thug. On her Macintosh computer, which is unable to run Kazaa.

The RIAA has called this a ‘gesture of good faith’ but in truth it’s a clear case of mistaken identity and they simply don’t have a case. You and I know that if they had the goods on this granny, they would sue her without hesitation.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030925

Time
09:42
Your trusty guide to mathematics in The Simpsons.

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Date
20030925

Time
09:44
Wind Power Is Now Cheaper than Coal in the U.S.

Damn it, I want my windmill!

In other news, the statement from the biotech mouthpiece claiming that the results of the GM debate were flawed because 99.9% of the population did not take part made me chuckle.

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Date
20030925

Time
09:55
eBay thief reveals tricks of the trade. He claims that many ‘customers’ are too scared to question his credenditials.

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Date
20030925
Anyone but George
Time
09:57
Following up on yesterday’s Salon article:

Claims that electronic voting is unreliable, unverifiable and funded by the radical Christian right.

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Date
20030925

Time
10:03
Bomb pranksters arrested. It sure was nice of them to videotape their antics for future reference.

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Date
20030925

Time
12:05
!

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030925
Rupert ‘The Evil One’ Murdoch
Time
12:31
The Sun Says: Our Armed Forces put their lives on the line to drive out Saddam Hussein. They still risk their necks each day to keep the peace and make Iraq a safer place. But what do that small-minded bunch of windbags known as the Lib Dems do? They carp that the war may not have been legal and that Britain may have been wrong to join the Americans in deposing Saddam. What an insult to the courage of Our Boys and Girls, many of whom died for the cause of freedom.

Sorry to interrupt your Lib-Dem bashing, Rebekah… but if the war was illegal, then they didn’t die for the cause of freedom, now did they? They died needlessly. You jumped-up, dried-up old ginger tosser.

UPDATE – Hm. That last comment was a tad harsh. An apology is in order. To ginger folks everywhere… I’m sorry to connect you in any way to Rebekah Wade. The jumped-up, dried-up old xxxxxx tosser.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030925
Can Weblogs…? – Baring Your Bum at Bush
Time
13:03
Tharrr she blows!

George W. Bush has called our bluff. We have our dates:

The President of the United States has accepted an invitation from The Queen to pay a State Visit to the United Kingdom from Wednesday 19th November to Friday 21st November 2003.

A few people have been asking and yes, there are possible legal implications to taking any buttock-waving action. By baring your arse in such a way, it is likely that you could be arrested for a breach of the peace.

By encouraging you to do so, I may very well be done for incitement. Hell, for linking to the campaign page, you could get done for incitement.

Nevertheless, I consider George W. Bush to be a criminal and his presence on these shores to be an insult.

I do this out of love for my country.

Still, there’s no point playing into the hands of The Met and t’media.

The Bare Your Bum at Bush campaign page has been updated with a some further thoughts on strategy. I’ll keep you posted.

UPDATE – In the meantime, you may wish to send a letter to Liz and warn her to count the towels:

Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II

Buckingham Palace

London SW1A 1AA

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Date
20030926
Does What It Says On The Tin
Time
09:08
worldbeardchampionships.com! No? OK, how about awfulplasticsurgery.com?

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030926
Riding High on Blogdex
Time
09:09
Gen. Shelton shocks Celebrity Forum, says he won’t support Clark for president.

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Date
20030926
Fair and Balanced
Time
09:10
And now, a few words from the right. They’re claiming media bias, the poor dears.

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Date
20030926

Time
09:13
Advertising authorities in Moscow have banned a poster campaign showing the euro having sex with the US dollar. Take a look at that pic. It’s the wrong way round, surely. Everybody knows that the dollar is the daddy. Most of us bend over for a good shafting on a daily basis.

And, good news from China, believe it or not – they’ve banned TV commercials for feminine hygiene products and haemorrhoid ointments during meal times. We should have the same thing here.

Oh, and why may I ask do they have ads for loans sharks and ‘sue-em-all’ shysters on children’s channels? What’s the point of that exactly? OK, so parents may unwittingly give way on a few sugary treats, but I’m pretty sure that any conversation started with ‘Dad, do we need an unsecured personal loan?’ is going to be a bloody short one.

My eldest (8 years old) has these ads well-sussed, himself. He keeps asking if he can call the free phone number and give them an earful about wasting his time and their advertising dollars.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030926
Flash Music Video
Time
09:14
Gollum Rap is mildly diverting, but do watch out for some NSFW ads on this page.

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Date
20030926

Time
09:25
Ahahahahahahaha! David Blaine may have to pay for the rather costly police protection he’s been receiving. Dollars to donuts that we pay for Bush’s protection, though.

I can confidently predict that a lot of money will be wasted on police manpower intended less to protect Bush, and more to make him look good by keeping protesters a few blocks away from the action. Your tax dollars at work, folks…

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030926
Christianity Watch
Time
09:30
Vatican plans to discourage the use of altar girls and ban applause and dancing at Masses. They’ll still be serving snacks and drinks though, right?

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030926
Can Weblogs…? – Baring Your Bum at Bush
Time
10:07
sofa_king_angry writes:

I always thought you Brits were a bit cheeky, but this protest idea is sublime. I hope you can bare thousands of bare bums to show the murdering, war-mongering horse’s arse Bush that he’s not welcome.

On second thought, speaking for the majority of Americans who didn’t vote for him, why don’t you keep him? I’m sure he’d get on quite well with your royals, as he’s never worked a day in his life and has had everything handed to him on a silver platter. I’m sure they could find room for him.

I invite all of you peace lovers to join an international thong in an orgy of anti-Bush, anti-war rants at: www.smirkingchimp.com

You’re not the first to make that request, mate – and you won’t be the last. The answer, as always, is ‘no’

You may not have voted for him, but until you impeach the man, you’re stuck with him. Sorry.

Actually, everybody is Iraq is stuck with him, too – and he’s not leaving until he has bled that country dry:

Bush sells Iraq to his corporate buddies #1

Bush sells Iraq to his corporate buddies #2

That latter link is from the Iraqi blog Baghdad Burning, and it’s a cracker of a post. Read it and weep.

UPDATE – *chortle* Iraq now for sale on eBay. See it before it’s withdrawn by the anti-fun squad. (Cheers to Rogi for the link.)

This list of Bushims also provides serious food for thought. Remember; this man has WMDs of his own.

There was a serious traffic spike last night, thanks to plugagge over at Eschaton. The resulting comments thread is particularly entertaining.

OK, down to the business of the actual bum barrage…

The Five Live interview went OK. Ish. I got the distinct impression that they thought the Bare Your Bum at Bush campaign was a bit silly and beneath them – but anybody who’s marched in this country in the last few years will know that legitimate protest does sweet bugger all.

Trust me when I tell you that the Met will be well-funded and well-prepared to herd and harass anybody who looks a little bit like a protestor. This being the case, I’m not entirely sure that a mass-mooning is a good idea. It may also reflect badly on the rather more staid approach being taken by the Stop the War Coalition, who are busy making their own plans.

UPDATE – Bush visit prompts protests threat

Right now, I’m leaning more towards the original idea of spontaneous hit and run action, which will be much harder to police.

The more people we have on the ground with this simple and quite suitable idea in their heads, the more chance we have of success. In fact, I dare to dream that if there is enough public support, we’ll be able to convince at least one MP to risk ejection from the chamber for daring to bare during Bush’s address to the House of Commons.

Your mission today: Send a fax to your MP and advise them that your vote is assured should they choose to make the ultimate show of defiance on your behalf.

I’m currently working on new assets to help spread the word. Hang in there. (Oh, and a tangential idea occurred last night. How do you think Bush’s security team would react to laser-pointers…? It sure freaked David Blaine out.)

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030926

Time
10:55
A cheeseburger and fries, all wrapped up in one nuggety package. Dip them in your shake (now with less than 3% sodium hexametaphosphate) for the ultimate taste explosion.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030926
Flash Games
Time
12:00
A very cool game found via wibbler.com: arrange your guests with RSVP. Very neat, and quite distracting.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030926

Time
12:20
The biggest security operation seen in Britain will be mounted when President Bush makes a state visit to stay with the Queen in November. And remember, folks – our tax dollars will be paying for it….

Oh, I do love this:

“The senior Special Branch officer will always be close to the President, travelling in his armoured Cadillac.”

An armoured Cadillac? I’m assuming that this is being flown/shipped over here. For a two-day visit.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030926
Flash Thingies
Time
13:46
Counting Sheep (via the latest B3ta newsletter). That’s a damn fine result for Joel Veitch, too. I’m jealous as all hell.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030926
Blogdeath
Time
16:07
It is with great sadness that we mark the sudden and unexpected passing of bar room philosophy.

Gentlemen, raise your glasses…

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Date
20030926

Time
16:29
Robert Palmer dead at 54 after heart attack in Paris. Considering how he died, they really could have picked a more appropriate picture, don’t you think? Ah, there you go – much nicer.

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Date
20030926

Time
16:38
How did a dope like George W Bush get rich? Here’s the answer in nice, easy-to-understand chart form.

A little further down is a nice pie-chart breaking down the content of his UN speech.

You’ll want to poke around uggabugga a bit – there’s lots, lots more.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030926
OK, So I’m a Star Wars Geek
Time
17:00
Isn’t it wonderful the difference a simple pair of underpants can make?

Oh, and true geeks everywhere are buzzing about the return of Dr Who. Just thought I’d mention that.

What? A link? Hmmm, how about Daleks that used to rehearse in their underpants?

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030926

Time
17:19
Some quality stuff leaping in front of my eyeballs this afternoon. FunJunkie invited me along to a virtual frog dissection. I was away the day we did this is school, so there were pins and guts everywhere on my cyber-froggie.

I also found this great collection of political and corporate propaganda over at The Ultimate Insult. A great collection of Vietnam propaganda was featured this week, too. Matter of fact, there’s a bunch of great stuff that Scott has managed to sneak past me this week – you should go have a browse for yourself.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030929
One Of Those Days
Time
10:08
I’m having a quiet think today, so bloggage may be light as a result. Sorry about that.

Still, there are some bits and bobs…

Ooooh, someone’s looking to get sued…

The new tabloid version of The Independent is a bloody good idea. Were I still a train-slave, this would immediately become my format of choice (you’d be surprised how many people choose the Mail or Express purely for reasons of practicality).

My copy of Issue Zero of The London News Review is due sometime early this week. I’m champing at the bit.

The central issue that could bring down the Labour Party won’t be discussed at their conference. Said top-down captain Tony Blair: “I don’t think we’ve got anything to apologise for as a country”…!

I beg to differ.

Check out Tom Watson over the next couple of days for conference-related posts. It’ll be interesting to see what he gets away with and how the ‘on the ground’ info differs from the media take.

Oh, and the invoice I sent to Downing St clearly stipulated 30-day terms. Payment is now over a week overdue. They’ve made clear to at least one journalist that they don’t recognise the claim. I may have to get nasty about this to see a result.

I want my windmill!

There’s a new, comprehensive and highly detailed topographic map of the UK available. Insurance companies are reported to be very happy about this, as it can let people enter a postcode and immediately be ruled out for flood cover based on the actual level (or perhaps we’d better make that ‘potential depth’) of their property. Me, I’m more interested in height. Cross-reference this with regional wind speed and direction data (that goes back decades) and you have at a glance what the potential is for wind harvesting for any given property. Based on this, the homeowner could know immediately whether it’s worth getting a surveyor out for the installation of anything from a small battery charger to a big whooshing mother that could provide all of their power needs and contribute to the grid.

Nice pipe-dream, huh? Unfortunately, that’s all it is right now – because the economy of this country simply isn’t geared for this kind of thing. Better and easier to buy a car you can’t afford or sue someone (free!) for an accident that was your own damn fault.

Here’s a quick experiment for you… do a quick search for a place in the UK where you can buy a windmill of any shape or size. Good luck.

Hmm, these few bits and bobs are growing… maybe if I just spill my guts and let you know what’s on my mind we’ll be able to pull full bloggage out of the hat.

Thinking last night:

I’m sick to death of staggering from one crisis to another with a feeling of complete powerlessness. I’ve also had it with our actions being hindered by the government or deliberately misrepresented by the media when we feel the need to protest.

Things are going too far across the board. As fun as it would be to line a few folks up against the wall, I’m inclined to think that a little friendly persuasion is in order to bring about an essential correction or two.

I think there’s scope for – and a real need for – a passive resistance movement.

Worldwide, web-coordinated, and operating on multiple fronts with one simple, central idea:

It’s. Just. Not. Good. Enough… and me and my mates plan to do something about it.

Just think… if there were one small thing you could do (without endangering your life or liberty) and simply doing it at the same time as a few thousand others would force any targeted government, corporation or organisation to make a significant change in position, would you do it?

Drop me an email today if you think you may wish to play along. I’d like to start with a few small wins and then take things up a notch as we move from success to success.

Oh, it has to be fun and interesting wherever possible, too. Hope that’s OK.

A few practical assets that I’ll need to bring it together are beyond my immediate technical/financial capacity. And I’d like to hear about what you think of the idea in general.

Been reading Bloggerheads for a while? Haven’t sent an email yet? Today’s one of those days when I could really do with your input. Get in touch.

Cheers all.

(sings)

Satyagraha ’till we meet again…

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Date
20030929

Time
10:25
Read Baghdad Burning’s latest entry and then check out The Guardian article this post references. Iraq is being systematically looted before your very eyes.

Also, check out the post on the same subject from Not in My America (permalink is broken, sorry):

“This trend is leading me to believe that we will lose Iraq, not because the resistance will defeat us, but because corporations will try to milk Iraq for every dollar they can. Worse yet, the Bush administration is actively promoting the milking.”

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Date
20030929
It’s War! And Somebody’s Telling Porkies!
Time
16:04
The father of U.S. soldier killed in Iraq: “My son died because Bush lied.”

Shades of David Kelly: Bush Administration Is Focus of Inquiry: CIA Agent’s Identity Was Leaked to Media. A simple revenge attack, by the looks of things. Oh, and in violation of federal law.

For a tidy overview of what this is about and what the possible implications are, check out this handy post by Chris Nelson.

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Date
20030930

Time
09:34
Build your own Segway or a codpiece just like Darth Vader’s.

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Date
20030930

Time
09:35
More workers get shut out of e-mail. We must protect our wage-slaves from the outside world.

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Date
20030930

Time
09:38
‘Restless’ gorilla escapes from zoo, injuring toddler and teenager.

In other zoo news, Hanging Day has a nice piece on the shooting of a bengal tiger by US troops in Baghdad Zoo.

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Date
20030930

Time
09:42
Dubya’s uncle likes to give remote-controlled fart machines as gifts.

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Date
20030930
The Californian Recall
Time
09:45
College student uses Wheel of Fortune winnings to run for governor.

Arnie is the clear front-runner, which makes me want to eat my own neck. Hanging Day have a few thoughts on this, too.

UPDATE – Sunday’s Doonesbury drops the funny to make a direct plea to readers in California.

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Date
20030930

Time
09:48
A telling cover story from TIME: Mission not accomplished. In this same issue: WMDs – Chasing a Mirage.

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Date
20030930
The Impeachment of George W Bush
Time
10:35
What do you think of my new Subject Title? I quite like it, and hope to use it more often. It makes me feel good just to look at these words and dream of the day that America emerges from its recent nightmare.

If you spent any time online last week, you’re sure to have sensed a widespread and quite heartening awakening. The Bush administration acted with predictable neverwrongability, but now – just look at this and think about the implications – America seems to have actually woken up screaming:

White House officials ‘out’ secret agent in revenge attack against her husband. Who dared to accuse the Bush administration of exaggerating the case for war against Saddam Hussein, don’tcha know?

This is an explosive issue, so information is coming out thick and fast (in fact, too thick and fast for Instapundit) but here are some posts that may help you understand what this means.

Josh Marshall is all over this, but you may wish to avoid the partial transcript of the regular news briefing with White House press secretary Scott McClellan. Trying to follow this could very well make your head explode, but if you’re a glutton for punishment you may wish to take a look at the complete transcript.

Basically, we’re being told that this leak by the Justice Department is going to be investigated – by the Justice Department. (Oh, and scroll down to the very bottom for a predictable treat).

What really caught my eye at Josh Marshall’s site was this post:

“What’s clear from McClellan’s statement is that a lot is already known in the White House – probably everything – and they’re trying to keep a lid on it.”

Equally telling for me today was this post by Daniel Drezner:

“If Rove or other high-ranking White House officials did what’s alleged, then they’ve earned the wrath of God…

“Let me make this as plain as possible – I was an unpaid advisor for the Bush-Cheney 2000 campaign, and I know and respect some high-ranking people in the administration. And none of that changes the following: if George W. Bush knew about or condoned this kind of White House activity, I wouldn’t just vote against him in 2004 – I’d want to see him impeached. Straight away.”

Bye-bye, George.

UPDATE – Huzzah! We already have a Plame blame game! Who do you think will take the fall?

(I’ll try to make post later today about further thoughts I’ve had regarding the proposed passive resistance movement. Hang in there.)

MORE INPUT:

Here’s a jolly nice breakdown of this messy affair.

Ooh, look: Open Source Politics were onto this a month ago.

Slate.com also acknowledges that this issue has been around for a while, but they have their doubts about it actually shaking Bush.

A variety of posts have been made at http://atrios.blogspot.com/ – this blog bears watching if you want to keep up and/or watch a lot of people arguing about it. Beware of trolls.

Finally, if you live in Washington, do take a umbrella when you go out today. There’s going to be blood, mud and bulldust coming from all directions.

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Date
20030930

Time
13:07
This expose will make you spit with rage. Hooray for a world where life means nothing to some people.

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Date
20030930

Time
14:35
Vasectomy delays Tube commuters. A trainee driver fainted as his two colleagues described the procedure in grisly detail. The trainee driver actually threw up at one stage, but his colleagues persisted until he actually fainted and fell out of the (moving) vehicle. Nice, huh?

I can’t deliver the choo-choo train, but I can offer you the heady experience of fainting at your desk by linking to my-vasectomy.com

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Date
20030930
Anyone but George
Time
17:37
A comment spied over at smirkingchimp.com that tickled my fancy:

Don’t ever forget what Jim Morrison said long ago: “They’ve got the guns, but we’ve got the numbers.” How right he was. I am past the point of caring anymore how I sound to ANYONE. I am an AMERICAN, this is MY country as well as everyone else’s, and I intend to run my mouth and be active in any way I can to get these fucking criminals OUT of office.

Oh, and I’m still thinking about that other thing. People are hammered by online protests and petitions on a daily basis these days. New ’cause’ sites are springing up everywhere. Weariness and apathy abound, so I want to make the proposal as attractive, easy and crystal-clear as possible.








Posted in Uncategorized | Comments Off on 16-30 September, 2003

01-15 September, 2003

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Date
20030901

Time
09:13
Fight the battle against head lice with Lice Rid Man!

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Date
20030901
The Californian Recall
Time
09:13
Arnie refuses to take part in candidate debate. Of course he does. He’s leading in the polls and doesn’t want to screw it up by opening his big fat mouth.

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Date
20030901
Tony Blair’s Email: News and Linkage
Time
09:15
Finally! Recognition in Britain and Iran.

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Date
20030901
Does What It Says On The Tin
Time
09:20
Have you spilled precious blood lately? Upload your injury to woundgallery.com and share your shameful disfigurement (careful @ lunch).

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Date
20030901

Time
09:27
Read reactions to Alastair Campbell’s resignation. He will be sadly missed.

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Date
20030901

Time
09:30
‘Time Travel’ spam tracked to source. The Massachusetts attorney general got on his case and the spammer – one Robby Todino – agreed to pay a $5,000 fine and halt ‘misleading and deceptive’ spamming practices.

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Date
20030901

Time
09:33
A rapping juggernaut born on ‘the harsh and unforgiving streets of New York City’s Chinatown.’ Behold The Notorious MSG (link via TTR2).

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Date
20030901
Summertime News
Time
09:38
An excellent rundown of what’s been a very busy silly season.

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Date
20030901

Time
09:41
You may scoff when I write stuff like this, but I hope the following provides pause for thought:

Laurel Wellman writes: ‘the whole Internet thing has been a grand experiment, but an experiment that’s failed.’ Oh, really? Well, I’d best just lock up my webshed and go home, then.

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Date
20030901

Time
09:47
Over 900 copies of the SoBig virus in my Inbox from this latest mutation. I’m genuinely hoping for a public stoning on this one.

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Date
20030901

Time
09:49
Cow without tail fitted with flyswatter. Yes, there’s a picture.

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Date
20030901
Conspiracy Theories
Time
09:50
Military helicopters study crop formations and the top ten conspiracy theories of 2002.

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Date
20030901
Anyone but George
Time
09:53
Howard Dean flip-flopping and nobody seems to care about the Democratic presidential race. You better start caring real soon, people. Allowing Dubya a second term borders on criminal negligence.

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Date
20030901
Riding High on Blogdex
Time
09:58
Is your boss an idiot?

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Date
20030901
Flash Games
Time
09:59
Bring peace to your little patch of desert. With bombs and heat seeking missiles, of course. (Link via FunJunkie.)

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Date
20030901

Time
10:03
Did FDR end the depression or prolong it? A scholar is claiming that he kept it ticking along nicely until the Japanese kicked the war machine into life.

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Date
20030901

Time
10:05
Child cyclist to stand trial for ‘falling off bike.’ He’s lucky the Greek authorities recently did away with the death penalty for wearing stupid shorts.

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Date
20030901

Time
11:17
Could anything be more cringeworthy than The Star Wars Holiday Special? Yes: C3PO busts R2D2 in this classic anti-smoking ad. Now to find a video of this sucker…

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Date
20030901

Time
16:54
I must admit to watching the car crash that is Poop Idol over the weekend. These jokers wasted money on an ad during the programme, telling viewers that they could help make them famous:

http://www.worldbeautysearch.com/

(You’ll have to copy and paste the URL, because I’ll be damned if I’ve going to give them any Google-juice.)

They’re touting themselves as ‘Licensed Talent Scouts’ or ‘Personal Marketing Consultants’ and offer an exclusive and unique way to helping you to make your dreams come true.

Yes, folks at home, success can be yours with the Diamond Kit from World Beauty Search!

Why is this ‘groundbreaking promotional tool’ known as the ‘Diamond’ Kit?

Well… it’s a Direct Integrated Automated Marketing Online Networking Device.

A web page, in other words. For only £200 a year.

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Date
20030901
OMG!
Time
17:18
I tripped over Dit net wel in my referral logs and found the most incredible website as a result.

Remember Peter Pan of Pixyland? Well, I think I may very well have just found his soul mate.

(WARNING: Watch out for NSFW pop-ups on this site!)

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Date
20030902
Does What It Says On The Tin
Time
08:41
Trigger your inner epileptic with seizurerobots.com (link via ultimateinsult.net).

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Date
20030902

Time
08:43
A giant lizard terrorised Beirut and I wasn’t informed?

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Date
20030902

Time
08:44
Boozeking.com offers the following hangover prevention technique but the reader-submitted preventions and cures at HairyTongue.com are far more comprenhesive and useful. Pity the same can’t be said for this collection of masturbation prevention techniques.

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Date
20030902
Flash Music Video
Time
08:51
Visually, it’s very professional – but the song would be lost without puerile humour. Still… not a bad punchline. Check out The Prison Bitch Song (link via TTR2).

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Date
20030902
Riding High on Blogdex
Time
08:55
This article about Saudi ties to terrorists and alleged involvement in 11/9 (please note correct date formatting) is ruffling a few feathers, but quite a few people are taking time out to enjoy the simple pleasures of watching George Bush drop his dog Barney. Myself, I’m opting for the simple pleasures. The Ministry of Truth is sure to let us know if there’s going to be a war – illegal, misguided or otherwise.

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Date
20030902

Time
09:06
Flotilla of rubber duckies threatens east coast of U.S. Ernie denies involvement.

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Date
20030902

Time
09:08
Atlanta Journal-Constitution apologises to readers for using picture of Britney Spears kissing Madonna on front page. Surprise, surprise, the editor realised – after a deluge of complaints – that it wasn’t newsworthy.

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Date
20030902
The Californian Recall
Time
09:11
Arniew bows to public pressure and agrees to one debate. But he gets to be on top.

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Date
20030902

Time
09:12
David Blaine is doing his best to freak out journalists again. THis time he pretended to cut off an ear during a press conference. “A quick warning to the folks in the front row…”

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Date
20030902

Time
09:14
A quick overview of Buddhism from Kuro5hin. Do take time to review the comments.

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Date
20030902

Time
09:17
Forget crabs. It’s lobster herpes that you’ll want to worry about.

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Date
20030902

Time
09:19
Boy hitchhikes 1,250 miles to Swedish girl he fell in love with on holiday. He arrived to find out that he was yesterday’s news.

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Date
20030902

Time
09:22
So this is it – we’re all going to die. (#12,623 in a series.)

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Date
20030902

Time
09:33
ScaryDuck on the value of the BBC.

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Date
20030902
Tony Blair’s Email: News and Linkage
Time
09:37
Internet Magazine:

Now you can email Tony Blair
.

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Date
20030902
Pauline Hanson
Time
09:39
After getting over the initial (and considerable) feelings of jubilation, I’m starting to have some serious doubts about the way this whole Pauline Hanson thing was handled.

Please Explain…?

I’m not entirely sure that the end justified the means. In fact, I’m of the opinion that the means will lead to a rather sticky end.

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Date
20030902
Can Weblogs…?
Time
21:41

I know what we need to do.

It’s a quick win; it’s a decisive win – and it involves bloggers from both sides of the Atlantic.

Bush The Pretender has timed his visit to this country very carefully.

We’re about to teach him that timing is not everything.

The next project will be: Can Weblogs Chase Bush Out Of Britain?

This has been a media war from start to finish. We, the proponents of the New Meedja, should stand ready to teach him a Very Old Lesson.

We need:

– Resources

– Link support

– Bodies on the ground

Media coverage can either reflect what the media wants us to know, or What Cannot Be Ignored.

Personally, I want to rob this throwback redneck of every photo opportunity he would otherwise take for granted – in the finest British tradition, of course.

What do you think?

Emails to the usual address.

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Date
20030903

Time
09:06
Still getting over Madonna and Missy Elliot’s corporate whoring? Try this:Justin Timberlake is going to rap for McDonald’s.

I went to the Gap website yesterday and searched for ‘jaynz.’ They didn’t have any.

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Date
20030903

Time
09:12
A fantastic find from Joe Smith: these are quite possibly the bestest products in the whole wide world.

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Date
20030903
Riding High on Blogdex
Time
09:16
Psychologist Oliver James analyses the behaviour of the American president. The man has issues.

Also: Which president told the biggest whoppers? You get to decide.

On the subject of Can Weblogs Chase Bush Out Of Britain? I’m still have a quiet think about the best tools and methods to use to make the man feel decidely unwelcome before he even arrives. I’d love for this to happen again.

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Date
20030903

Time
09:21
Plumber goes down for wrecking house of client who criticised his work. He’s been sentenced to do 100 hours of community service work – and the judge told him that he had better do a bloody good job of it.

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Date
20030903

Time
09:26
Study ties IQ closely with social class. Basically, if you’re poor, you suffer because of a lack of quality input.

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Date
20030903

Time
09:28
Spammers band together for emotional support. Group hug! Group hug!

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Date
20030903

Time
09:29
Issue Zero of The London News Review has just sold out before even going to print. FunJunkie acknowledge their place on the ‘too slow’ list with this post.

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Date
20030903

Time
09:36
Lonnie Boyd got hit by lightning and now he wants a lightning bolt tattoo. Tyler Weikel wanted a tattoo, but felt that he lacked a suitable traumatic incident in his life. So he decided to stage one by jumping out of moving car. He’s dead.

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Date
20030903

Time
09:41
There’s still one day of school holidays left for a lot of youngsters, so today is your last chance to treat them to a visit to the British Lawnmower Museum. Adults get in for a quid, and kids are only 50p. Bargain!

On show are lawnmowers of the rich and famous (including the lawnmower of Lady Di) and the fastest lawnmowers in the world ‘as seen on TV.’

If you do go and visit, please do take some pictures and send them in. I’d love to see what the place looks like, and their photo gallery is mostly full of pictures of lawnmower manuals.

Oh, and get me something from the gift shop too, OK? Nothing fancy, just a lawnmower key ring or a postcard will do.

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Date
20030903

Time
11:43
Money a problem? Debt got you down? Cheer up! This site lets you see how well-off you really are.

Erm, and then asks for money.

Hang on, how does debt figure into this equation? If I owe money, don’t I actually have less than someone who has nothing?

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Date
20030903

Time
15:35
Hey, everybody! Al’s back!

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Date
20030903
Can Weblogs…?
Time
15:35
OK, the next experiment is live and ready to roll.

Heads up and trousers down, people. It’s time to bare your bum at George W Bush!

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Date
20030904

Time
09:05
The Sun discovers blogs. They interviewed me, but I failed to get a mention. Is it because I is a Guardianista?

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Date
20030904
The Political Weblog Movement
Time
09:06
Dave Winer’s tips for successful political weblogging. Some good advice in there, be he’s still recommending that politicians have others blog on their behalf. How can you have a decent conversation by proxy?

Also, check out the new superblog: Open Source Politics.

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Date
20030904

Time
09:11
Britney discusses that kiss. She also has some interesting thoughts on politics:

“Honestly, I think we should just trust our president in every decision that he makes and we should just support that.”

You may well prefer Johnny Depp’s thoughts:

“America is dumb, it’s like a dumb puppy that has big teeth that can bite and hurt you.”

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Date
20030904

Time
09:13
Terrorists recruiting zombie army to invade U.S. They want to feast on your decadent western brains.

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Date
20030904
The Californian Recall
Time
09:14
Arnie gets egged after he opts out of debate.

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Date
20030904
Christianity Watch
Time
09:16
This excellent piece on Paul Hill over at Hanging Day inspired me.

Their posthumorous follow-up is also quite fabulous.

While we’re up in the clouds gabbing with God, take a few moments to check out The Christian Skydivers Association. Their motto: AirBornAgain.

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Date
20030904

Time
09:24
Spammers turn to chain letters to harvest email addresses.

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Date
20030904
Can Weblogs…? – Baring Your Bum at Bush
Time
09:42
Well, Mum’s already been in touch, begging me not to stir up the lunatic fringe. Actually, I see us as more of a discontented mullet. Rather silly and oft-mocked, but we do help to keep the sun off your neck, if you get my drift.

Link support and campaign commitment is coming in from Bar Room Philosophy, BingoBowden, Greenfairy , the Kurry Kings and TTR2.

There’s also this email from Thomas (who has just been offered two Atari games of his choice in exchange for his domain name):

“I like this idea. I like it a lot. Even if I have to cycle my sodding bike all the way to Heathrow, Bush *SHALL* get a good look at my fat hairy arse.”

Do be careful, Tom. After an hour or so on that bicycle seat, your arse could very well be classified as a biological weapon.

For those who are wondering, yes, I will be making a concerted effort to bare my arse at Bush. ScaryDuck pointed out by email that the one venue we could be sure of was an address by Bush to the House of Lords.

What say you to a group buttock-baring for the benefit of attending press? Just like a Flashmob, but this time with a point to the entire exercise.

With regards to the risk of a charge of indecent exposure, a fine suggestion of flesh-colured body-stockings (with cracks painted on, or course) has been posted over at the B3ta boards. A good solution for some, but I quite like the feel of a fresh breeze on my buttocks.

A further suggestion of ‘complete flesh coloured body suits with unrealistically large appendages attached’ was dismissed out of hand.

UPDATE – A fine entry, rich in persuasive juices, over at ScaryDuck and an equally compelling call-to-action over at FunJunkie. It looks like there’ll be bare arses across Britain come autumn.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030904

Time
09:54
This JPEG Baby linkage led me to an classic post in this same forum:

15 Things to do at WalMart.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030904

Time
11:17
Longtime lurker Andrew Hewitt has finally spoken up and sent in a link to hangman for the inept and addled of mind. I must admit to running through the vowels before twigging.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030904
Can Weblogs…? – Baring Your Bum at Bush
Time
11:57
A fine post by the Soliloquist. The following blogs also join the Bogroll of Honour:

ChaChaCha | Cloud23 | Dearie Me | Jezblog | Reblog | Ramblings and Revelations

I thank you one and all. Right now I’m busy drafting my letter to local and foreign press. Oh, and doing some work, of course.

UPDATE – 22nd on Blogdex. This could well turn into an international sport. Good thing, too. George Bush has a new and disturbing secret weapon.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030904

Time
14:55
Ahahahahahahaha! ScaryDuck points out that in the new movie about the president’s whereabouts in the days following 11/9 (please note, as ever, the correct date formatting) the role of George W Bush will be played by… Timothy Bottoms.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030904
Greetings, New Readers!
Time
18:19
Ooh, look at that: this looks due to appear in The Sun tomorrow, but it’s live on the site now.

Many new visitors already as a result (BTW, the official stats for this site are 1200-1500 readers a day, not 12,000-15,000), so I thought some short introductions would be in order.

Welcome to you, reader of The Sun. May I interest you in the following subversive image?

No?

Then perhaps you’d care to bare your bum at George W Bush.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030904
Bumming Bush
Time
21:57
Heh. A sincere display of cynicism has resulted from this post at Metafilter. Apparently I’m not the first person to think of showing their arse to George W. Bush.

Doesn’t surprise me.

Also, something about me bugs Andrew.

Andrew, you’re not the first, and you won’t be the last. When in doubt about a new blogger, do what I do. Use the bloody archives. If you’re still in some doubt, use Technorati.

/sothere

I have to go now. The weather’s turned cold all of a sudden, and our hedgehog regular has returned. We must build a shelter! Please send cheques or money orders to the following address….

UPDATE – I always, always get a kick out of cracking the language barrier. You’ll probably have to View- –>Source to find the link, but it’s there.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030905

Time
08:38
Play keepy-uppy with your cursor (link via Ickle, whose URL I appear to have mislaid).

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030905

Time
08:40
Downing St website target of virus-borne DoS attack.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030905

Time
08:41
How can you possibly say no to a one-stop shop for limp-wristed sperm? I’ll have a large protein-slurpee to go, thanks.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030905

Time
08:47
Laxative-laced brownie prank leads to the expulsion of three students. One of them was lucky enough to have her expulsion cancelled by a judge because she opted out at the last minute. There’s one for the permanent record. (Hmmm. I wonder what happened to mine. It must be eating up valuable storage space somewhere…)

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030905

Time
08:53
Enrich your inner geek with Star Trek on Ice (link via TTR2).

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030905

Time
08:55
The print version of this Sun article appears to have been bumped. Ah well. Outrage at sex monsters must come first, I suppose.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030905
Photoshopping
Time
08:57
WARNING: photoshopping kittens may very well lead to psychotic decline.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030905
Flash Games
Time
09:01
Catch flies with chopsticks! (link via FunJunkie).

The increasingly cold weather is driving more and more flies into the office. My flyswatter is looking decidely ragged around the edges, but it’s still doing a bloody good job. Blogging has been slow this morning because I’ve been busy swatting between posts. Close to a dozen of the buggers have met their maker so far. It’s satisfying work, but very, very distracting.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030905

Time
09:08
We’ve discussed water intake as a hangover prevention method before, now New Scientist is on the case.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030905

Time
09:11
See video footage of Arnie being egged.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030905
Tony Blair’s Email: News and Linkage
Time
09:15
The invoicing of Tony Blair has just been covered by my local paper The Surrey Advertiser. I am now officially world-famous in Cranleigh.

The important thing about this article (sorry there’s no linkage, there’s a fabbo picture in there of me pretending to use a laptop) is that the journalist has managed to get a statement from Downing St. They have said that they do not recognise the claim.

I’m lacing up my arse-kicking boots…

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030905

Time
09:21
This database of Japanese Holdouts is attempting to list (and verify) sightings of soliders who refused to believe that WWII was over. Do pop out and check the garden shed when you have a few minutes. Just in case.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030905
Can Weblogs…? – Baring Your Bum at Bush
Time
09:49
Well, the blog world knows about it. The campaign appears to have peaked at No. 2 at Blogdex, and also gets a plug today over at MSNBC’s Weblog Central.

Now we find out if people are actually willing to act on it, and if this action has any effect.

Added to the bogroll of honour today:

100% Proof | Feck | Follow Me Here | Hot Buttered Death | Ionica | The Last Word | Mad Musings of Me | The Partially Clothed Civil Servant | Pigs In Lipstick | Somewhat, Mulchy | TheOneEyedMan | timeformetofly | Wingardium Leviosa

Thank you, one and all. If I’ve missed anyone, drop me a line.

We also managed to crack the language barrier at smoel.nl, Ponto Media and now dardesar.

Heh. You know I never fail get a kick out of that.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030905

Time
09:55
A compendium of crazy fads from the 20’s to the 90’s. Nothing from the noughties. Yet.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030905
Anyone but George
Time
10:23
Countdown to Election Day: 525 Reasons to Dump Bush

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030905

Time
13:49
Johnny Depp realises that some of the people who pay to see his movies are American.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030905
Photoshopping
Time
15:14
The Bare Your Bum at Bush campaign has rated mention in the B3ta newsletter. (A good thing, then, that I’ve taken a step forward with a planned mass mooning and a song to back it.)

This week’s Photoshopping Challenge theme is vikings. Again, it’s a busy friday, so I only have time for one entry. You can click here to see a large version.

UPDATE – Oh, and The Lycos ‘Viral’ Chart has finally featured a link to the Tony Blair email campaign.

Tch! Where were they when I needed them?

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030906

Time
13:11
We have a hedgehog that hibernates in our garden each winter. He’s returned during the sudden cold snap (we spotted him ambling about the night before last), so this afternoon I’m going to finally get off my arse and build the little fella a shelter.

This page by Epping Forest Hedgehog Rescue has some good tips. We’re going to use an old chest of drawers that would otherwise be destined for the tip and cannibalise it for parts.

If I’m not too embarrassed about the result of my often-bodgy D.I.Y. skills, I may even post a picture of the finished product.

There. Now you really have something to look forward to.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030908

Time
08:49
Shock! Horror! Happier animals result in tastier food! I know of a certain sheep that must have been decidedly unhappy (latter link contains some dang-doodle cusswords).

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030908

Time
08:53
Happy birthday (+1) to you,

Happy birthday (+1) to you,

Happy birthday dear Gooooogle,

Happy birthday (+1) tooooo yooooooooou!

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030908

Time
08:55
Snopes not entirely infallible. This be that fact-checking aspect we blogfolk talk about sometimes.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030908

Time
08:57
Man has gun permit suspended after trying to kill his brother’s car.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030908

Time
08:59
Spammers in Italy now risk fines of up to 90,000 euros and between six months and three years in prison. Good.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030908

Time
09:01
Doonesbury ‘self-dating prevents cancer’ strip censored. It’s based on research results suggesting that masturbation can lower the likelihood of prostate cancer.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030908
Christianity Watch
Time
09:04
Museum removes ‘killer’ Christ icon. An ‘energy field’ (or, to be more specific, a ‘negative bio-field’) at the centre of the painting has reportedly killed several staff members.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030908

Time
09:08
Clay Shirky on the future of micropayment. He doesn’t see one.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030908
Video
Time
09:09
I like this. I like this very, very muchly:

Stealthdisco.com will make you laugh like a drain – and may very well inspire you to engage in equally foolish behaviour at your place of work.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030908
Does What It Says On The Tin
Time
09:11
A useful link from TTR2:

Oldversion.com is an archived collection of old versions of software (for when the software no longer exists or when the new versions are bloated beyond all recognition, bundled with spyware, etc. etc. etc.)

Bookmark it (you’ll probably need it one day, as I have). Also, have a poke around your downloads folder and see if you have anything useful they might need. I’m planning on donating an old version of Animagic I have laying around at home.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030908
Can Weblogs…? – Baring Your Bum at Bush
Time
09:29
With 7 out of 10 Americans believing that Saddam Hussein had a role in the Sept. 11 attacks you can’t really blame Bush for including as the central thrust of his address to the nation the assertion that ‘Iraq is now the central front’ in the perpetual war on terror.

If it is, it’s only because he made it that way (UPDATE: ooh, look – Howard Dean agrees). Such bare-faced cheek is the central inspiration behind the Bare You Bum at Bush campaign, and it’s growing and growing and growing.

The prospect of a mass-mooning has quite a few people excited. Not least the many Australians who emailed to inform me that Bush is visiting their neck of the woods, too (thanks especially to Peter V and Whitey, who were first in with the news and linkage respectively).

If you run a solid blog in Australia and/or live in Sydney or Canberra and want to organise a mass-mooning there, do get in touch. A sister campaign would be welcomed.

One thing that gives me hope is the massive number of Americans not only linking to this campaign, but also sending emails of support. The best one came from housebound, who said:

I just gotta thank you. Being an American and reading this sentence: “George Bush is unlikely to walk around the streets kissing babies because of the large number of people that wish to blow him up.” Well, it was fun. Everyone is so damn touchy in this country. I wish they would wake up and smell the blood on their hands.

Good to know that not everybody is buying this long line of bullshit. It means that I can put off plans to leave the planet (at least in the short term).

Bless my soul (currently valued at £8582), it warms the heart to see that so many sensible people are willing to get silly for the cause (even though some may have their doubts).

The following sites and weblogs have joined our growing bogroll of honour:

Off On A Tangent | Idle Type | Ben’s Blog | Diversionz | You Know You Love It | Weird Ass Shit | Storm Warning | The Meandering Mind of Mad Mitch | Gene Eric’s Weblog | Nick’s Rants | Quaequam Blog | Pete Ashton’s Weblog | What You Can Get Away With | Ariped | Uncle Scoopy’s Other Crap | Baron’s Bollocks | Everything I Read I Blog | Chuck’s Blogumentary | Caleb Walker | Today I blog, tomorrow I sleep | The Last Minute | Chapel Perilous | Jetcloud | Brain Off | Cherry Hinton Blues | Casino Avenue | sTaRe | A day in the life of a Middle Manager | we are the bean robi | Rands in Repose | BigDaddyBlog | Perfect Duluth Day | Lemonpillows | i am a donut | Meeting Space | The Daily Dave | Internet Weekly | Voxpolitics

And, last but by no means least (as is said) Anyhoo, who wonders if the moonfest will go international.

Well, there’s at least one Canadian in amongst that lot proposing some local action and, as I mentioned, many, many Americans.

A mass mooning in Washington? I have the feeling that authorities will do their best to crack down on that (sorry) but do have a think about it while you check out this excellent Quicktime movie (if this doesn’t get you in the mood to bare your bum, nothing will).

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030908

Time
11:25
Quack! Quackquackquackquack…

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030908
Only Interesting to Bloggers
Time
11:29
Emerging Alternatives: Blogworld

See? We’re not only becoming increasingly useful, we’re having fun doing it. We are having fun, right? Uh, guys…? (Link via Chuck’s Blogumentary.)

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030908

Time
11:35
I just went looking in Google Images for a picture of George W Bush playing dress-up in his favourite flight suit. No joy.

What? You’re kidding, right? I suspect that Warbaby may just be onto something here.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030908
How Weblogs Work
Time
14:34
Did you arrive here via the article in The Sun? Good-oh, then you may wish to read the reactions to this article from meish.org and Wherever You Are. Do take the time to read the comments. Oh, and so things remain fair and balanced, here’s a list of every blog who commented on this article.

This entry from Gert deserves special mention in the category of Most Effective Use of a Stereotype.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030908
It’s War! And Somebody’s Telling Porkies!
Time
16:38
Michael Meacher: This war on terrorism is bogus!

You’ll want to be reading the resulting letters and the link cosmos, just to know that you’re not alone.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030908

Time
16:45
I’ll be giving my first search engine seminar tomorrow, so there probably won’t be any bloggage until late afternoon. Sorry about that.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030909
Search Engine Optimisation
Time
09:30
Well, the seminar is all set up and ready to roll. Everybody is upstairs registering and networking. I’m hiding down here in the basement. Blogging. I think it’s time to admit that I may just have a problem.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030910

Time
09:04
Goodbye Warren Zevon. You’ll be missed.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030910

Time
09:05
Inmate falls through ceiling tiles in front of judge.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030910
Yet Another Lame Quiz
Time
09:05
Which breed of dog are you? Vague result, no link mechanism. *sigh*

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030910
Video
Time
09:07
Now you can download all the amazing ads for Family Auto Mart and enjoy them in the privacy of you own home (or take them to the office along with your wicked, wicked ways).

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030910

Time
09:10
Church of Scientology loses copyright case. They’ve got some nerve those people, especially after shamelessly ripping off other people’s sites.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030910
Riding High on Blogdex
Time
09:14
12-year-old girl sued for downloading music. RIAA are weighing in with a suit that could mean penalties as high as $150,000 per song, but they’ve kindly offered evil illegal downloaders amnesty if they turn themselves in and promise to never, ever do it again. Of course, if you’ve already been sued, it’s tough titties.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030910
Flash Games
Time
09:18
Lego Treasure Hunt! Rough around the edges, but loaded with detail. Leave it for lunchtime.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030910

Time
09:23
My eyes! The goggles, they do nothing!

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030910

Time
09:24
Mystery tiles spread mystery message around the world.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030910

Time
09:28
Judge Allows Sept. 11 Suits Against Airlines. Here’s where it starts. Also, keep an eye out for the first asbestos-related cases from deceived New Yorkers.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030910

Time
09:34
Librarians make stern faces over ‘shushing’ action figure.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030910
Can Weblogs…? – Baring Your Bum at Bush
Time
09:56
Donald Rumsfeld: Opposition to George W. Bush is encouraging Washington’s enemies and hindering his ‘war against terrorism’ Well, you’d best avoid this point-by-point of his recent speech, then. You don’t want to hinder George’s noble cause, now do you?

You certainly don’t want to attend this rally in Trafalgar Square on the 22nd of October and you almost definitely should never, ever, dare to Bare Your Bum at Bush.

Plans for the mass mooning in the UK are ticking along, and the campaign song will (I hope) be ready to roll soon.

Added to the bogroll of honour today:

iCandy | Will Burnham | The Daily Post | Bumptious | NomadChick | CheeseDog | ambivalent imbroglio | Carlton Hibbert’s Illustration Blog | Nick Denny | melancholic in mid Glamorgan

Language barrier cracked today courtesy of Sargasso and Vouich.com

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030910
OK, So I’m a Star Wars Geek
Time
09:57
I can be a mite obsessive at times, but at least I’m not this far gone. (Cheers to Steve for the heads-up.)

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030910
Search Engine Optimisation
Time
10:33
Thanks to everybody who emailed and wished me well for the search engine seminar yesterday. I had no idea you guys cared so much (but please do stop, it’s making me blush).

I was worried that nerves would hit me at the last minute, but this didn’t happen and the whole presentation went very, very smoothly.

I started out by outlining basic principles of keywords, search engines and directories (a lot of people were surprised at just how important a simple listing in the Open Directory Project is).

I also outlined the importance of human response, not just now with Google, but almost certainly in the future with databases being developed by MSN and Yahoo!

Along the way, there were case studies of a few things you may already be familiar with (peeking as you do into my daily dealings in the petri dish) including Lugjam, The Star Wars Photoshopping Project, The Universal Church of the Interactive Network and Tom’s Teens! page.

I only got to glance at the comment forms this morning (someone, somewhere, is typing like mad right now) but the words that kept popping up again and again were ‘very useful,’ ‘informative,’ and ‘great’ – which pleased me no end.

Russ Hirst happened by the blog as a result, and made his way past the spamblock to say:

“Cracking seminar this morning, excellent content and good delivery style!”

The boss even dropped by my desk with a bottle of bubbly this morning (I’m not sure if this was meant to be a gesture of thanks or contra payment in lieu of a raise, but perhaps if I cash it in at the local off-license it can be both).

The one thing I didn’t do was factor in the need for handouts (some parts were pretty technical), so for the rest of the day I’ll be busy creating a summary document.

Roll on, October 17th.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030910
Flash Games
Time
11:15
Defend yourself against the evil Mutant Dictator Clones! (You’ll need a fast machine and a zippy connection for this one – and do watch out for ghosts of past evil dictators.)

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030910

Time
11:25
I had a little difficulty with a certain anniversary last year and I’m sure that this year will be no different.

Well, a bit different. The Bush administration is becoming increasingly shameless in their use of September 11th as an offensive weapon.

Over 3,000 innocent Americans have died. That’s a tragedy.

But over 6,000 innocent Iraqis have died as a result of this tragedy being used as a successful propaganda device. That is an outrage.

If I do have a moment of quiet reflection tomorrow, it’s going to start here.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030910

Time
15:56
Isn’t in wonderful that the London Metropolitan police are working so hard to keep the world safe for arms dealers?

Absolute gents, they are, each and every last one of them.

I doff my cap to David Blunkett. It was an inspired move to give police permission to use anti-terrorism powers against protesters.

Such irony is delicious – and such responsibility couldn’t be in better hands.

UPDATE – BTW, it occurred to me last night how talented the London Met are (after years of experience) at monitoring websites and discussion groups, planting undercover officers and disrupting legitimate protests. During the last peace march, ours was the only country in the world not to stage a protest outside the U.S. embassy. Well done, the Met! I’ll be thinking very carefully about their way of doing things as the mass-mooning comes together.

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Date
20030911

Time
09:06
Windoze is about as useful as a concrete submarine with screen doors. Just as SoBig is timing out, there’s a new vulnerability alert and a new patch to download. Please do download and restart before doing anything else today. My wings were like a shield of steel throughout SoBig, but I really could have done without the 35,000+ versions of it on my mailserver at 100K a time.

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Date
20030911

Time
09:10
Wordblog sets a different scrabble conundrum each day. There aren’t any prizes, but today if you can make a word out of PEGCMAW and score higher than 24, at least you can walk away with an air of superiority.

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Date
20030911

Time
09:14
Hanging Day on police use of anti-terrorism legislation against protestors at the DSEi arms fair. I can’t wait for these guys to get into print.

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Date
20030911
Christianity Watch
Time
09:17
Take the kids out for a fun and educational day at the Creation Museum and Family Discovery Centre! When they’ve finished building it, that is. They’ve only just got the roof on and the Lakeside Adventure Trail isn’t entirely complete (I can only assume that what’s missing is life-size models of humans walking side-by-side with dinosaurs). Still, with your help they just may complete the project before the rapture.

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Date
20030911

Time
09:22
15-year-old dies after coaxing his friend to hit him in the head with a skateboard.

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Date
20030911
Riding High on Blogdex
Time
09:25
Everybody’s buzzing about the 12-year-old girl being sued by the RIAA. The case has been hurriedly settle to the tune of $2,000. The Register, Wired and Yahoo are all carrying stories.

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Date
20030911
Yet Another Lame Quiz
Time
09:30
How Old is Your Inner Child? Mine is 6, as you can probably tell from the way I stamp my little feet. (Link now fixed. Cheers, Andy.)

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Date
20030911
Spam
Time
09:33
Spammers facing lawsuit from anti-spam groups wave white flag. Sorry, it’s not as simple as unsubscribing, as you should well know.

Also, a bold prediction: Why RSS Will Kill E-mail Publishing.

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Date
20030911

Time
09:37
Larry Hovis (who did much more than just appear as Sgt. Carter in Hogan’s Heroes) has died aged 67.

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Date
20030911

Time
09:51
The FBI wants to know how a man manged to ship himself from New York to Dallas in a crate. You just want to know what the hell he was thinking. As it turns out, he could have flown first class for the same price.

Speaking of idiots locking themselves in boxes, here’s a sample of what Brits think of David Blaine’s latest stunt and here’s a new report about police question Blaine-botherers armed with laser pens.

OK, let me see if I’ve got this straight….

You can hurl insults, throw eggs, aim your bare breasts and hit golf balls at him, but you can’t point a beam of light at him. Erm, because sometimes lasers are attached to guns. In the movies.

A few days ago, I considered getting people to practice their bum-baring techniques on Mr Blaine, but he’s just not worth the effort.

UPDATE – Laser-weilding flashmob due to descend on Blaine tomorrow evening. I prefer the mirror idea, myself.

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Date
20030911
11/9 (please note correct formatting of date)
Time
10:01
Well, here we are. Two years on. I don’t know about you, but it feels like a heck of a lot longer to me. The world has changed a lot, not for the better, and not entirely because of the acts of terrorists.

Chemical weapons ready to fire in 45 minutes? Impressive, if not at all true. I’m willing to bet that a certain blood-hungry halfwit could deploy nuclear weapons in 10.

George W. Bush is an idiot.

His administration is incompetent.

Rupert ‘The Evil One’ Murdoch is doing what he can to help…

…but they can’t hide everything.

BTW, considering how quickly such draconian laws were exploited here in the UK (and who they were used to control) you folks in the U.S. should be very worried about this.

UPDATE – You can now see an animated version of today’s picture over at B3ta.

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Date
20030911

Time
10:21
Two tots crash family car on unauthorised McDonald’s run.

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Date
20030911
Can Weblogs…?
Time
10:22
Well, Lidl have yet to be completely Watsoned, but it’s nice to know that someone is paying attention.

BTW, I know what the next ‘Can Weblogs…?’ project is going to be. It doesn’t involve politicians (well, not entirely) and it doesn’t involve nudity. You’ll love it. Trust me.

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Date
20030911
Viral Marketing
Time
15:20
Xiao Xiao goes commercial! This one is so tasty, it may even take that bad taste out of your mouth. Cheers to Tim Howell for the heads-up.

UPDATE – Check out the international coverage on this. Heineken must be chuffed.

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Date
20030912
How Weblogs Work
Time
09:23
It had to happen: Weblog raises money for 12-year-old girl sued by the RIAA. Like the Star Wars Kids fund, this isn’t endorsed by the victim, so pride could get in the way of things. Still, they’ve taken this into account. The link will probably top Blogdex before the day is out.

UPDATE – Andrew Hewitt has written in to point out that Wayne Rosso, president of P2P software development company Grokster, has also offered to pay the fine in full on her behalf.

OK, that’s the 12-year-old girl sorted. Can we maybe send something useful to Iraq now? Besides troops, I mean.

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Date
20030912
Riding High on Blogdex
Time
09:25
I heard about this late yesterday via UKB and it’s already in the news. Blogger Pro features are now being integrated into the free version. Now all Typepad has going for it is sheer superiority – but that didn’t help the Beta format, now did it?

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Date
20030912

Time
09:33
New UK law could see teenagers imprisoned for heavy petting. Parents who ‘endorse’ such activity by, say, letting teenagers out of their sight for more than a few minutes, also face a 14-year jail term.

Perhaps AOL can help out with a bit of part-time child-minding.

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Date
20030912
Christianity Watch
Time
09:44
At last! Undeniable proof that God exists! Sadly, without faith, he is nothing. Aaaand cue puff of smoke.

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Date
20030912
Spam
Time
09:47
Former Microsoft programmer wins $250,000 judgment against spammers.

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Date
20030912

Time
09:49
Sadly, I am unable to nip into a phone box and transform into Paperbaghead. Alls we got around here are plastic bags. Unless you buy a Happy Meal, I suppose.

Incidentally, McDonald’s caved into pressure from environmental lobbyists in Australia over a decade ago and now have more environmentally friendly packaging. In Australia. On a recent trip to the U.S. I noticed they’d finally made some positive changes there, too. So why no significant change here in the UK? Simple. They just don’t feel that they have to.

Perhaps someone with less on their plate would like to keep that in mind.

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Date
20030912

Time
09:54
I think I’ve just found a viable alternative to my trusty Converse All-Stars (Converse were recently bought by Nike, so I won’t be buying them anymore).

Introducing the blackspot Sneaker.

I’ll be sending my support and a few design requests later today.

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Date
20030912
11/9 (please note correct formatting of date)
Time
10:20
I did a little more WTC-inspired work late yesterday, but an FTP snafu stopped me from uploading a blog-friendly version – so here it is today.

You can see the big version (released last night) over at this thread at B3ta.

Blogdex is lousy with Sept. 11 linkage this morning, so please excuse me while I do a quick rundown for the record:

The The September 11 Digital Archive was extremely well-linked, as was the tale of the falling man, but this collection of personal stories has more meat on its bones, as does this year-old collection of untoward feelings, which enjoyed a revival of sorts.

Many folks sent in a link to a photo-mosaic of George W Bush which they thought tied in neatly with the Bare Your Bum at Bush campaign. I wasn’t going to blog it, but as we’re all grown-ups here and it’s charting well at Blogdex anyway:

See a picture of George Bush made up of a variety of sphincters. In varying states of health (careful @ work, avoid @ lunch).

Incidentally, George couldn’t resist feeding off the terrorists yesterday, but finally the backlash has started. In fact, people are starting to ask all sorts of awkward questions.

Anyway, that’s it for the rundown. The anniversary has come and gone and we (mostly) survived unscathed. Perhaps now we can look forward to happier times, such as International Talk Like a Pirate Day, scheduled to take place next Friday.

UPDATE – The UK headquarters be here. Arrrrrr.

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Date
20030912

Time
10:22
Tommy Chong has been sentenced to nine months in federal prison and fined $20,000 for selling drug paraphernalia over the Interwebnet. Replying “Dave’s not here, man!” failed to prevent a raid by the DEA.

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Date
20030912
Flash Games
Time
10:30
You’re a rabbit. Some damn fool has given you a gun. Your choice is clear. (Link via FunJunkie, who boast the usual collection of Friday games today.)

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Date
20030912

Time
10:32
Monty Python: The Musical! The end days are upon us, etc. etc.

Oh, while we’re on the subject, Joe Smith has emailed the following:

Yes! We’re all individuals! Is someone illegally cloning corporate-speak?

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Date
20030912

Time
10:37
Planned Blaine-lasering reaches mainstream media. Police are sure to be aware by now, so do watch your step and be prepared for a damp squib.

Incidentally, the mass-mooning of Bush will most probably have no timetable, no staging area, and no organisers. Just a lot of people up and down the country with their necessary equipment on stand-by.

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Date
20030912

Time
10:41
Mmmm, some tasty links today. What flavour would you like – news censorship or social hygiene?

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Date
20030912
Doing The Rounds
Time
17:17
You’re bound to get a copy of this by email (assuming you haven’t already):

Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at an Elingsh uinervtisy, it deosn’t mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoetnt tihng is taht frist and lsat ltteer is at the rghit pclae. The rset can be a toatl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae we do not raed ervey lteter by it slef but the wrod as a wlohe.

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Date
20030913

Time
14:36
Christian advertising with hilarious results – or a silly own goal? This story had me smiling all the way through breakfast, even thought I did have other things on my mind.

Dead police, dangerous rumours, U.S. denials and missing bodies? This massacre is going to be very hard to explain away, but Paul Krugman thinks that this administration’s infallibility complex is going to lead to much, much worse in the future.

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Date
20030914
Can Weblogs…? – Bare Your Bum at Bush!
Time
09:20
Scotland’s Sunday Herald reports on the Bare Your Bum at Bush campaign. Cheers to Stephen Naysmith for a cracking article and some serious coverage. I’m quite tickled that the Foreign Office declined to comment.

UPDATE – Public Support Wanes for Bush Foreign Policy. Oh dear, how can that be?

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Date
20030915
Lettters
Time
09:27
Just thought I’d share a glimpse or two of some recent email on this fine and sunny Monday morning…

Russell attended my recent search engine seminar. I’ve already found his new blog (I’m ever so sneaky) but I won’t be linking to it until he has a chance to play around and flesh it out a bit. I found this letter to be quite heartening, as it shows the pronounced effect weblogs can have when they bypass mainstream media and/or give access to a wider variety of same:

The link to the chap in Iraq is illuminating, to say the least and has helped to change

my perspective on the world generally, since I started to read all the blogs – cracking stuff!! I am desperate to start my own weblog and start getting actively involved in blogging, but am treading carefully, so as not to end up in a corner on my own!! You know, I never had a particularly strong view of Bush until this week, now I think he is a complete c… and a w….r !!!

As you know, I had some misgivings about what to say (and what not to say) about Sept. 11th. It looks like I found the right balance, at least at far as Y. Bee Normal is concerned:

Thanks for not being an asshole about 9/11. You just say the government is full of crap. You never said the people in there deserved it or minimized what they went through… I just get so angry when people say we deserved it. I know the people in Iraq didn’t deserve it and neither did we.

It seems like you are more interested in actually getting some stuff to change rather than laughing at other people’s suffering. I always read with interest what you have to say and will treat it seriously because I know this.

Sadly, I failed to reach everybody. Patrick McGuinness emailed in with a word or two from Texas. It was a long email, but here’s the guts of it:

Bush is the Churchill of the War of Terror. He will do what is right no matter what ignorant nay-sayers say, because this fight is too important not to win.

I for one am grateful that your PM Tony Blair “get’s it”, even if many of his fellow UK citizens do not. If you dont “get it”, keep your pants on, sit down and *watch* and *listen*, you might actually learn something from your betters.

The last word, however, must go to Jon Peace:

As an American citizen, I have just one thing to say about this…if he comes over to England, would you keep him…please!?

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Date
20030915

Time
09:29
The flashmob/lasering of David Blaine didn’t amount to much and there’s some rather unkind discussion about it over at Fark. I’ll keep my eye out for other reports today (if, indeed, there are any to be found – it sounds like no-one turned up). Me, I’m happy to go it alone, mono e mirror.

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Date
20030915

Time
09:37
Behold the Pieces of Eight All Amputee Skydiving Team as they embrace gravity! The site is sadly short on copy, but it does take a moment to say: ‘These guys are not handicapped, they just come with some assembly required!’

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Date
20030915

Time
09:41
Next month is National Novel Writing Month. Apparently. I won’t be playing, but the FAQ may tickle you, advising as it does that this is a good idea because ‘if you don’t do it now, you probably never will’ and ‘aiming low is the best way to succeed’. Words to live by.

And no, I haven’t typed a bloody thing since my Dead Blog Holiday, but the opening chapter is an unrivalled work of art that I’m still happy to admire privately.

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Date
20030915

Time
09:48
The Different Methods of Defending Oneself with a Walking-Stick or Umbrella when Attacked under Unequal Conditions (PartI) Sorry, it has no bananas. (Link via TTR2.)

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Date
20030915

Time
09:50
My Reference links folder just grew by one with the inclusion of the Historical Atlas of the Twentieth Century. Cheers, Scott.

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Date
20030915
It’s War! And Things Is Getting Ridiculous!
Time
09:52
The Onion’s still on the money: Saddam Proud He Still Killed More Iraqi Civilians Than U.S.

So far….

On that note, Hanging Day has a nice piece on recent happenings. Oh well. Omelettes, eggs and all that. At least they’ve returned the bodies and said ‘sorry’. That makes everything OK, right?

(Well, I can think of at least one blogger that may disagree…)

BTW, Bush is trying to keep an eye on the budget. Wounded U.S. soldiers have to pay for their own food.

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Date
20030915
Micropayment
Time
10:04
Scott McCloud responds to Clay Shirky’s negative spin on micropayment. Sorry if this stuff bores you, but I’ve been thinking about it a lot lately.

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Date
20030915

Time
10:12
Dodgy George W. Bush $200 bill successfully passed in North Carolina.

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Date
20030915
Riding High on Blogdex
Time
10:13
Technology has us in its thrall this morning: Mobile telephones could cause an entire generation to go prematurely senile, but at least we can all ride escalators into orbit. Now we just have to remember not to spit over the side.

Also getting a fair amount of attention is the RIAA petition which claims, quite rightly, that this strong-arm action is actually doing very little to benefit artists. The final word on this goes to Deadbrain.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030915

Time
10:20
Australia: home of the Big (insert object here).

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030915
Can Weblogs…? – Baring Your Bum at Bush
Time
10:22
For those who missed it, here’s yesterday’s article on bum-baring from Scotland’s Sunday Herald. Also, the Washington Post has some serious points for you to ponder on the subject of dwindling liberty.

And *ahem* this is a little bit embarrassing, but Koit has gone all-out to finish a music track in good time for the Bare Your Bum at Bush campaign, but I’ve just arrived at work to find a mountain of must-dos waiting for me. I don’t suppose there’s a stray flash developer out there who wants to make a nifty show to go with this? I won’t have time to do much more than scratch my left buttock before Thursday at the earliest.

UPDATE – George really must be more careful with his hand gestures. This one damn near gives the game away.








Posted in Uncategorized | Comments Off on 01-15 September, 2003

16-29 August, 2003

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Date
20030816

Time
13:27
Independent poll shows 25% of voters in favour of Lt. Gov. Cruz M. Bustamante. Arnie follows close behind at 22%. Poor old Gary Coleman doesn’t even appear to rate a single digit.

BTW, all the short-cuts made to bring this ridiculous recall in under budget have finally elicited a response from the folks who are supposed to authorise such changes to the voting system. Apparently they may act.

Altogether now: Ooooooooh!

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Date
20030816

Time
15:50
Bye-bye Idi Amin. I’m sure that history will forgive you.

You were, after all, merely a harmless buffoon who liked to play soldiers… right?

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Date
20030818
It’s War! And Things Is Getting Ridiculous!
Time
09:21
US unveils new secret weapon – photoshopping!

1. Using photoshopping for political ends? Damn, wish I’d thought of that. Devilishly clever, the U.S. Army.

2. I do hope that said army plans to seek the permission of the creators of these images before using them on the streets of Iraq.

3. I do hope that The Guardian sought of the permission creators of these images before using them on their front page.

4. I can’t help but wonder what would happen if an Iraqi citizen chose to put up posters of George Bush with breasts.

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Date
20030818

Time
09:26
US troops shoot Reuters cameraman in Iraq. They mistook his camera for a rocket propelled grenade launcher. Easy mistake to make.

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Date
20030818

Time
09:28
Hanging Day on the possibility of U.N. reform. Read, learn and laugh out loud.

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Date
20030818

Time
09:31
Dale and his readers ponder the significance of the Universal Church of the Interactive Network.

Note to self: find out who this Lain fella is.

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Date
20030818

Time
09:33
The beginner’s guide to Sumo wrestling (link via TTR2).

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Date
20030818

Time
09:35
Homeless woman incarcerated for stealing a shopping cart. She spent a week in the cells before a journalist pointed out the obvious.

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Date
20030818
The Big Blackout
Time
09:38
Power outage traced to dim bulb in the White House. Deregulation strikes again.

Also, see John Wehr’s photos of New Yorker’s aimlessly wandering the streets and read some tips from Iraqis for dealing with a blackout in hot conditions.

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Date
20030818

Time
09:46
Build a goddess in your own back yard. Remember, you’re not breaking the second commandment if you refer to it as an icon.

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Date
20030818

Time
09:49
Hospital elevator doors sever doctor’s head in freak accident.

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Date
20030818
The Political Weblog Movement
Time
09:51
Tom Watson and Richard Allan have been interviewed by BBC Radio regarding the political effectiveness of weblogs. Yours truly also rated a mention. Cheers, Tom.

The content has been syndicated, thus the report from Elena that I scored airtime on Australian radio. An archived sound file should appear here later today.

I may be getting my wires crossed, but I’m pretty sure that this eventuated because of interest in Tom’s Teens page. This post from Tom seems to confirm that.

While we’re on the subject, Wibbler reports that FHM forgot to scroll down and included a link to the Teens page in their newsletter, citing it as genuine.

It amazes me that, with at least a dozen giveways in the text and now the new message at the bottom of the page, that this continues to fool people.

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Date
20030818
Flash Games
Time
10:05
Throw things at your boss and go ‘Tony Martin’ on some intruders. Then do try to get some work done. The economy won’t fix itself.

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Date
20030818
It’s War! And Somebody’s Telling Porkies!
Time
10:08
The Guardian on biased reporting of the Hutton Inquiry.

Rupert Murdoch’s major rag The Sun is running a week-long feature on asylum seekers to keep the masses distracted, starting with this wonderful piece based on a survey of Sun readers. I’m sure you can guess what the results are.

UPDATE – Topping the Blogdex chart this morning is a right old Beeb-basher of an article. Find out what other bloggers are saying about it by clicking here or here.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030818
Photoshopping
Time
10:54
Hehehe. Here’s a right-old blast from the past that I tripped over today when looking for images of anti-war protestors.

This week’s B3ta comp is the double-take challenge. I woke up with this in my head this morning (that’s why I had to go anti-war image surfing). It’s just been front-paged (read the related B3ta thread here).

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Date
20030818
Christianity Watch
Time
13:39
Almost forgot to blog this: Vatican ‘ordered abuse cover-up’

The initial spin is that this was for the good of the victims.

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Date
20030818

Time
17:32
Warren Ellis writes a book via a weblog! Bloody great, and only up to part 6 if you want to jump on board.

(Ellis is the author of Transmetropolitan, a downright tasty series of graphic novels. His main/personal weblog is here.)

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Date
20030818

Time
17:39
Be the geekiest kid on your block with a Star Wars credit card!

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030819
The Political Weblog Movement
Time
09:20
That radio interview with Tom Watson and Richard Allan is finally live at this page (NetNews 17/08/03 ).

Direct links to media files: Realplayer | WMV

Hehe. ‘Honestnessness’….?

Do excuse me, it was my first radio interview.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030819
Only Interesting to Bloggers
Time
09:24
Harsh words, ill-advised posts, and a visit from Child Protective Services. It all looks very messy. I’m staying out of it.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030819
Games
Time
09:31
Lemmings and zombies, death and disease. What a lovely way to start the day.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030819

Time
09:46
Mark Wards gets in on the dangers of Word documents and, as Hanging Day points out, pads this summer story with superfluous technical cleveryness.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030819

Time
09:52
A satellite image of NYC looking pretty dark.

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Date
20030819

Time
09:53
Single males ‘between the ages of 21 and 30 with a steady job, a love of children, strong morals, and no criminal baggage’ can feel free to audition for a chance to date this woman’s daughter. Think carefully before you do. Can you imagine what this woman would be like as a mother-in-law?

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030819
The Political Weblog Movement
Time
09:56
*sigh*

I’ve commented before on my doubts about Howard Dean being presented as Political Blogger Prime. That he rarely posts on his own damn site might suggest to some that he doesn’t quite get it.

Now, Howard Dean’s team has admitted to spamming.

To their credit, they’ve admitted the mistake (resulting from trusting a dodgy contractor) and seem pretty serious about not letting it happen again.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030819

Time
10:02
If you’ve recently been overheard making disparaging remarks about George W. Bush that may or may not be feasibly construed as a threat, then take heart. With this handy guide to SWAT team hand signals, you’ll know exactly what the squad of black-clad government-approved gun-nuts on your front lawn are up to right up to the moment when they slap the cuffs on (or accidentally pop a cap in your ass).

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Date
20030819

Time
10:06
A criminal recently broke into a the home of an artist and found what he thought was a head in jar. He immediately informed the authorities. For the exciting conclusion to this story, tune into the BBC or Canada.com News.

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Date
20030819
Christianity Watch
Time
10:14
Ahahahahahahaha!

This quick study of Christian sex-education LPs is a fantastic find from The Ultimate Insult. The relevant MP3 files are pretty hefty, but Scott’s 100% on the money when he says that they’re worth the download.

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Date
20030819
Only Interesting to Bloggers
Time
10:16
RSS feeds, aggregators… * oh, sorry… I dropped off for a moment there.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030819

Time
10:19
Hooray for the triumphant return of the Tasmanian tiger!

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030819
Yet Another Lame Quiz
Time
11:43
How Tolerant Are You? is a quiz meant to promote this campaign. They want to ‘get people of all faiths and none to give time to each other.’

Prince Naseem thinks it’s ‘wicked.’ In a good way.

1. The quiz is spread over two pages for some reason.

2. It hits you with an email capture function before you can get to your results.

3. Then, when it presents your results, it doesn’t allow you to show these on your website via a simple copy and paste mechanism. It does allow you to forward a link to another person by email via a pretty bog-standard referral tool, but that doesn’t let you automatically reveal your results, either.

This is not how the quiz format is supposed to work, people…

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030819
It’s War! And Somebody’s Telling Porkies!
Time
13:05
No 10 knew: Iraq no threat.

Downing Street chief of staff, Jonathan Powell, sent the following private warning a week before the dodgy dossier was released:

“We will need to make it clear in launching the document that we do not claim that we have evidence that (Saddam Hussein) is an imminent threat.”

Now, let’s look at what the world leaders had to say for themselves in the eve of war:

Tony Blair: “Iraq continues to deny that it has any weapons of mass destruction, although no serious intelligence service anywhere in the world believes it.”

Oh, really? What about our own intelligence service, then?

George W Bush: “Intelligence gathered by this and other governments leaves no doubt that the Iraq regime continues to possess and conceal some of the most lethal weapons ever devised.”

Other governments? Oh, that’ll be us then. Sorry, we were wrong. Actually, we were lying our asses off to help out our special-friends-in-need, but it certainly got the job done, didn’t it?

Stress levels rising. Red mist descending. Please pass the kittens.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030819

Time
16:01
Blast hits UN building in Baghdad. It was a car-bomb, not a confused marine.

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Date
20030819

Time
17:22
It seems like every man and his dog wants to tell B3tans about the giant gerbil infestation in China. Trust me, they know.

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Date
20030820

Time
10:25
Some mornings it just doesn’t pay to get out of bed.

I have a hat-full of headaches today, so there’s going to be very little bloggage.

I would, however, like to draw your attention to the following shameless attempt by The Sun to downplay the importance of the Hutton Inquiry.

Oh, and do update and scan today. Judging by the number of virus attachments that arrived at my main email address this morning, at least a few of you seem to be infected with the Nachi worm (which bizarrely, seems to have been created to destroy the MSBlast virus). The Symantec profile on this is here.

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Date
20030820
Tony Blair’s Email: The Delivery!
Time
20:03

Well, how about that? I did it!

You can now email Tony Blair via this web page – and it only took 304 days, 17 hours, 44 minutes and 54 seconds to make it happen.

I’ve just sent the following email via the service:

Dear Tony,

Congratulations and welcome to the Interwebnet. You may get some stick about the web-based format and the front-end filtering on this email service, but I think it’s a damn fine idea.

I hope you enjoy the benefits of immediate feedback, and maybe even get a kick out of successfully answering the odd email or two.

All the best,

Tim Ireland

https://www.bloggerheads.com/

PS – OK, that’s game. I win. Now *you* get to make naked pictures of *me*.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030820
Tim Ireland’s RSS: The Promise
Time
21:51
Fair comment.

OK, it will take a lot of effort to migrate to a new system to sort permalinks and what not, but I’m sure I can handle an interim RSS feed. Good enough?

Somebody showed me a sample via Sitescooper or something like that, but I’ll take any suggestions if you’ve got ’em.

Fast, easy and effective. That’s all I ask.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030820
Tony Blair’s Email: The Delivery!
Time
22:35
Aaaand, KableNET are first with the story!

No mention of the campaign (funny, I sent them an angry email days ago) but this article does point out that the facility was ‘tested and developed (over) the past nine months.’

If Tim Yeo dares to poke his head above the parapet and take credit, I am going to be very upset and uncontrollably vocal about that.

Oh, has anyone else noticed how closely they followed my specifications? I’m having a quiet little think about that, let me tell you.

I can’t help but wonder how much of that £11,000 I’m entitled to…

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030821
Tony Blair’s Email: The Delivery!
Time
09:00

We did it!

You, me, and everybody else who linked, mailed, faxed and acted to support the 11-month-long campaign.

For those who missed the announcement late yesterday, you can now send an email to Tony Blair via the following URL:

http://www.number-10.gov.uk/output/Page821.asp

I was up until 2am sending ‘thank you’ emails to everybody who supported the campaign (if I’ve missed anyone, I do apologise).

Special thanks go out to the following people:

My local MP Sue Doughty, who tabled the first written question in Parliament.

Tom Watson, who backed the campaign in many ways (we deleted 9.1Mb of Tony Blair’s email in his office), tabled a follow-up question in parliament and was so inspired by the way we took action on this that he decided to join us in the blogosphere.

My two Downing St spies (who should probably remain anonymous), who provided vital inside information.

Kevin Marks, who provided us with the fantastic interim measure of an email-to-fax address.

And – last, but by no means least – Cherie Blair, who took the time to answer my email, was very sporting about the whole nude image thing, and whose timely influence helped me to (finally) get through to Tony’s interwebnet team.

Now, we move onto the small matter of the design of the service. It gets a chilly reception at The Guardian, along with the inevitable comparison to the recent changes at Dubya’s website, but if you take a close look at the specifications laid out back in January you’ll see that the new service pretty much follows these specs to the letter.

The specifications called for ‘a form format with a hidden destination,’ and this is precisely what they’ve delivered. I’m not sure what form the automated and direct replies take yet, but I’ll be watching very closely and will let you know as and when.

The specifications also contained the following recommendation:

“I accept that you don’t have time to read everything (or even close to 1% of it), this is why those who do deal with your email should classify each and every valid message according to the issue it addresses and the position it takes on this issue – then make a record of it (e.g. hunting-for, immigrants-against). A table can then be drawn up to give you a weekly overview of direct feedback. A simple program should suffice, but it will have to be reasonably intelligent, otherwise you might get the idea that a policy of hunting immigrants will win you the next election.”

The Downing St site, which actually has a modest filtering device on the front-end to start this process, also announces that:

“All e-mail messages are read and each month the Prime Minister receives a report on the issues raised, together with a representative sample of individual e-mails.”

That’s not only a damn fine result, it pretty much warrants an invoice.

Updates will follow throughout the day. Given that the release from Downing St makes it clear that work on this facility began in earnest 9 months ago, I can’t wait to see if Tim Yeo will dare to take the credit.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030821
Tony Blair’s Email: News and Linkage
Time
09:37
Heh. The BBC hasn’t mentioned it on their news site, but at least they’ve told the kids about it.

TTR2 is encouraging people to email Tony Blair today, as is Wibbler.

Hip-hips and huzzahs:

Bar Room Philosophy

Martin Lloyd’s MBA Experience

Ramblings and Revelations

Voxpolitics

Off On a Tangent

Slugger O’Toole

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Date
20030821

Time
09:55
Bride-rage ends in arrest! The story is great, and the accompanying mugshot is to die for.

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Date
20030821

Time
10:20
Pauline Hanson jailed for electoral fraud! My day just keeps getting betterer and betterer. (Link via this excellent entry at Bar Room Philosophy.)

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Date
20030821

Time
11:13
Sobig-F fastest growing virus ever. Ten scrubbed copies of this have arrived in my Inbox over the last hour alone. There were well over 100 that arrived yesterday.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030821
Search Engine Optimisation
Time
11:19
Yahoo prepares to dump Google. Testing is taking place via their Australian portal, which will surprise a few bods who expected this to take place in the UK first.

Don’t expect change anytime soon. If the Inktomi database isn’t up to scratch, this could take a while.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030821

Time
12:14
The Guardian has launched a new weblog with a great central porpoise.

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Date
20030821
Riding High on Blogdex
Time
12:33
I’ve checked today’s blog with the Gender Genie and I’m sure you’ll be happy to know that I don’t write like a complete girl. (Unless of course you test any of my articles or campaign pages. For some strange reason, these ooze oestrogen.)

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Date
20030821
Tony Blair’s Email: News and Linkage
Time
13:12
ZDNet – Prime minister gets email: “The news is seen as a personal triumph for Tim Ireland, an Internet enthusiast who has spent the last three years campaigning for the prime minister to become an email user.”

Inches and linkage. Result!

Of course, the core campaign has only been running for 11 months, but I’m sure we can forgive minor inaccuracies on such a happy, happy day.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030821
Tom Watson: Campaign Hijacker
Time
14:22
ITV reports on the launch of the service and gives credit to Tom Watson.

*What*?!

Right, nude images of Tom start in 5, 4, 3, 2…

(Yes, I’m kidding. This isn’t the first time Tom’s comments have been edited to remove vital big-ups and name-checks. That’s one of the reasons why the man runs a weblog.)

UPDATE – Oh, I do love the arrogance of established media. From the same release by Tom comes this piece from the BBC. Please note that, as a mere mortal, I am deemed unworthy of a name-check on the BBC website. And rightly so.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030821
It’s War! And Somebody’s Telling Porkies!
Time
14:42
Bogus Blair, Bogus Bush: “For the most part, American media is doing a lousy job of following the British investigation of how Blair and his aides spun the case for war with Iraq. From a journalistic standard, that’s bizarre because the story of official deceit in Britain is also the story of official deceit in the United States.”

Well said, that man.

UPDATE – Today, the Hutton Inquiry revealed David Kelly predicted back in February that he would be ‘found dead in the woods’ if Iraq was invaded.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030821
Photoshopping
Time
15:35
I’m in a jolly good mood today. Does it show?

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030822

Time
09:46
Bloody hell! 130 copies of SoBig waiting for me this morning – at 100Kb a time. One can only imagine how this is crippling the network. It must be hell for modem users, too.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030822

Time
09:49
Popmates – pick your favourite album, movie and book and find a partner. A neat idea, but where’s the function that lets me seek out people who hate the stuff I like? I think that’s where the secret of true love lies.

My wife and I have a great partnership, but she hates it when I play Sgt. Pepper over and over, she can take or leave Star Wars and I’ve never been able to get her to read 1984.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030822

Time
09:58
Your Marketing Sucks! Heh. A snappy title, and the manifesto looks pretty good. I may just buy a copy. (Link via Off On a Tangent.)

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030822
A Blog Is Born
Time
10:14
This new blog from Iraq comes highly recommended from Hanging Day. It even got a heads-up from Salam Pax.

From a comment on the bombing of the UN building:

“You know what? Something like this could never happen to the Ministry of Oil. The Ministry of Oil is being guarded 24/7 by tanks and troops. It has been guarded ever since the fall of Baghdad and will continue under Bremer’s watchful eye until every last drop of oil is gone.”

This entry will chill you to the bone.

Ignore me for the rest of the day. Go and read her instead.

If you need it, Hanging Day have even taken the the initiative and sorted out an RSS feed. Enjoy.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030822

Time
12:36
PRESS RELEASE

After an 11-month campaign to bring about a serviceable public email facility for Tony Blair, marketing consultant Tim Ireland has decided to invoice Downing Street for his contribution to the development of the service.

“The campaign went well beyond a simple demand for the service,” said Ireland, “the aim was to bring about a truly viable and beneficial solution and to that end I provided a lot of information about how that could be best achieved.”

Ireland was in an excellent position to do so. Via a quirk in search engine results, a hoax address he created in 2000 started getting regular email intended for the PM, which provided an excellent overview of how a simple published address would be used – and abused – by the public.

In January, he submitted to Downing Street (and published on his weblog at bloggerheads.com) full specifications for a workable service, including recommendations for a web-based interface, subject filtering and weekly reports to be reviewed by the PM.

The new service uses a web-based interface with subject filtering and monthly reports to be reviewed by the PM.

“I’m very happy that an efficient facility has finally been put into place,” said Ireland via his weblog, “This new system is beneficial to the public and to Tony Blair, at minimal cost to the taxpayer. It’s a very well-conceived system, and I should know. I conceived it.”

The £2000 invoice submitted to Downing St is for ‘provision of specifications for Tony Blair’s email facility,’ but adds that there is ‘no charge’ for ‘provision of impetus.’

Tom Watson, a Labour MP, active blogger and valued supporter of the campaign, said: “There is a remarkable similarity between Mr Ireland’s proposal and the format of the new Downing Street email facility. At the very least he deserves credit for coming up with a very good solution to a difficult IT problem.”

The small matter of simple recognition appears to be on Tim Ireland’s mind as well. The invoice he faxed to Downing Street closes by saying that ‘an official statement from Downing St acknowledging my contribution to the project will be accepted in lieu of payment.’

Links and Contacts

New email service for Tony Blair:

http://www.number-10.gov.uk/output/Page821.asp

Original specifications:

https://www.bloggerheads.com/x-archive.asp?viewblog=20030120&date=20/01/03

Campaign:

https://www.bloggerheads.com/can_weblogs/tony_blair.asp

Please refer any questions about this press release to manic@bloggerheads.com

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030822

Time
14:31
SoBig update: Organised criminals marry spam and viruses.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030822
Flash Music Video
Time
15:56
Stickman: Weapon of Choice is… sorry, I just don’t have the words for it. Turn your speakers on and click for yourself. (Link via the B3ta newsletter.)

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030823
Updates
Time
18:50
My Photoshopping gallery has now (finally) been updated from a sequential selection to a categorised one. I wasted an entire Saturday afternoon on it, but it may be rough in places. Watch your step.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030825

Time
09:10
Australian readers: If you have a copy of yesterday’s Sun Herald, please hang onto it. I may be requesting a scan of the Sports section tomorrow.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030825

Time
09:18
Cackhanded ‘viral’ marketing from the music industry? Heaven forfend.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030826

Time
09:09
Connection… slow… downloading.. *ungh* purging… 702… copies… of.. SoBigvirus… from… mailserver!

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030826
How Weblogs Work
Time
09:12
An associate of mine brought an online diarist to my attention when that diarist made a mention of Tony Blair’s email late last week. His email address was published on his site, so I sent him a copy of my press release.

He got in touch with Tom and myself yesterday an not only published a short write-up, but also got in touch – via Tony Blair’s new email facility – to ask how likely it would be that I would actually get any form of recognition for my input.

I’ve got a crazy feeling that this diarist is more likely that you or I to get a reply. And when you see the diary entry you’ll know why.

Inches and action? Heh. I love it.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030826
Only Interesting to Bloggers
Time
09:15
See blog entries pop up across the globe in real time. (Fabbo link via TTR2.)

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030826
Photoshopping
Time
09:17
The launch of the revamped and – finally – categorised photoshopping collection has caused yet another revival of the Star Wars Photoshopping Project. I even got a couple of (v.good) suggestions over the weekend for the first time in a long time. Funny what a little context will do.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030826
Riding High on Blogdex
Time
09:20
Greg Dyke, director general of the BBC, has announced plans to give the public full access to all the corporation’s programme archives.

There’s an excellent piece on this over at Hanging Day, which is also charting well.

Oh, but it bears mentioning that your personal share of the archive – if stored on a recordable CD – may not last as long as you think.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030826

Time
09:24
Texas man has wallet returned. It was found in Okinawa – where he lost it in 1957.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030826
Christianity Watch
Time
09:28
Autistic 8-year-old boy dies when smothered by sheets during prayer service. They were trying to exorcise the ‘evil spirits’ responsible for his condition.

Not that all American are religious nutbags, but I’ve wondered aloud in the past how a country built on the idea of the separation church and state should be so ruled by religion.

Well, not just religion. Rupert ‘The Evil One’ Murdoch provides several state-approved channels for the heathens, too.

Can I just take this opportunity to apologise for Rupert again on behalf of all Australians? We really are ever so sorry that he got out. Someone left the gate open during the daily feeding. Of virgin’s blood.

UPDATE – Oops. I forgot to be fair and balanced:

Muslim girls in Norway are not allowed to ride bicycles. Blame ignorance, not Islam.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030826

Time
09:39
Coke and Pepsi deny ‘removing’ logos painted on Himilayas by simply slapping a new coat of paint over them.

While we’re guzzling branded soft-drinks, pop over and have a peek at Richard’s Can Universe. Richard can look at a can of Coke from fifty paces and tell you which country it comes from. That’d be a great party trick… if he ever left the house.

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Date
20030826

Time
09:48
Do you have loud conversations on the tube? Look out – this man eavesdrops.

Pick of the day before the day before yesterday:

“That Dominic Mohan was on my tube. He reads all the papers at once. And he has an i-pod. He smells a bit.”

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Date
20030826

Time
09:52
A Queer Girl’s Top 10 Gay Myths

You go, girl! BTW, I’m on your side and all, but we do have to talk about this whole ‘we own the rainbow’ thing. The Bible did kind of get there first by branding it as God’s promise never to destroy the world by flood again (so, famine fire or pestilence next time, is it?) and it really was quite cheeky to hijack it as your own personal logo.

Why not use kittens instead? Everybody loves them, and they’re ever so fluffy. Oh, and they eat fish (so if you’re a gay Christian, you can have an exciting chase scene on your car window or bumper).

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030826
Tony Blair’s Email: The Delivery!
Time
10:19
Watch Shout99 give the service a test-run.

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Date
20030826

Time
10:20
This is an interesting development: creative whoring for fun and profit, aimed squarely at the Farker market. ‘People like to laugh… apparently.’

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Date
20030826

Time
10:49
This story is mainly about the flak the new Acropolis museum is getting, but what makes me smile is the British Museum being kind enough to consider the remote possibility of loaning the Elgin marbles – named not after their creator but the guy who stole them – back to the people we stole them from. On a temporary basis. Perhaps. (Link via ionica.)

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Date
20030826

Time
14:55
Is Yahoo! entering the blogfight with a competing service? And, if so, will it really blow as much as they promise it will?

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Date
20030826
The Ship/Fan Interface
Time
16:05
Origin of 45-min claim revealed – and it wasn’t made up by Gilligan.

Corporations played a large role in developing President Bush’s energy policy – and, at a guess, we’re probably not supposed to know about that.

Hands up everybody who’s sick to death of being lied to and cheated with an increasing amount of cheek….

Thought so.

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Date
20030826

Time
17:07
One of the world’s biggest ever trade fairs for guns, bombs, military planes, small arms, mines and tanks is taking place in London from 9th – 12th September 2003.

From the boycott site we get this wonderful titbit of information:

“The last DSEi exhibition took place over 11th September 2001, the day of the attacks on New York and Washington in America. While many businesses around the world closed, the arms fair stayed open. For three more days, countries including America, Israel and 14 different Arab nations continued to shop, side-by-side, for weapons to attack each other with!”

Warms the heart, doesn’t it?

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Date
20030827

Time
09:30
Running out of disk space. Have to clear the decks. With you in a mo…

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Date
20030827
Tim Yeo Speaks!
Time
09:31
Reportage over at the FT continues, and they’ve not only taken Tim Yeo to task over the shameless hijacking of the original campaign, they’ve also managed to squeeze a quote out of the man:

“I thought of the idea independently. From what I have heard of what he has been doing, I don’t think there would be any benefit in contacting him.”

1. I thought of the idea independently…

Then he’s either a liar or a fool. The most cursory search for information about Tony Blair’s email address and what action had been taken to date would have been necessary before pulling a stunt like this, surely. Such a search would have brought up numerous references to this website.

2. From what I’ve heard he has been doing…

Heard? Heard? You’re just peripherally aware of it then are you, Tim? Your arse is too far off the ground to be worried about such petty concerns? Wrong. You and I both know that you’ve been watching this action closely all along, and denying its importance and your awareness makes you look like an arrogant tosser.

3. I don’t think there would be any benefit in contacting him…

I got in touch with Tim Yeo a full week before I took any action. (You can check my archives from 11 June 2003 onwards to confirm this.) All I wanted was an answer to my email. Then it became clear that – just like Downing St – he thought that the most prudent course of action would be to pretend that I didn’t exist. From that point on, I was after an apology. A promise was made that all activity would cease the moment he apologised. Kind offers were made time and again. If you take note of this kind offer of amnesty you’ll note that it asks a number of things of Tim Yeo. The one thing he did do was take on board my suggestion that he actually table a question in parliament on the matter. He submitted a question the day after this entry – and milked the resulting answer for yet more publicity. While still pretending that I didn’t exist. He’s made a right tit of himself all along and it’s there for all to see. No benefit? There were benefits from Day One – and benefits remain. If he doesn’t want me stalking him right up until the next election, all he has to do is talk to me like a human being.

Finally, we have this:

“Yeo too, is launching his own website in the autumn.”

It won’t save you, Tim. People don’t navigate by URL, they navigate via search engines – and I’m going to be there every step of the way with alternative reports. You’ve got my details. Get in touch.

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Date
20030827

Time
09:49
Hooray for Slim Goodbody, Super Hero of Health!

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Date
20030827
Wedding Bells
Time
09:51
Wrong stripper turns up late to bachelorette party and gets beaten up by bride-to-be’s mother. He was covering for a mate, did a lousy job (a short performance with not enough love for the hen) and got bruises, scratches and head injuries for his troubles.

Wedding guest bites off man’s finger. He also smeared cake on a 9-year-old boy and knocked a 49-year-old woman out cold.

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Date
20030827
Only Interesting to Bloggers
Time
09:58
Yahoo introduces RSS feeds.

On the subject of (ahem) my overdue RSS feed (here’s an RSS primer for the uninitiated), we have a minor technical hitch. The format I’m using does not have code denoting the start and finish of any given post. IT also names post as 1, 2, 3, etc. instead of 01, 02, 03. This is why things turn out so higgledy-piggledy in the archive.

The original developer is long-gone, and I just don’t have the ASP hummus required to fix this kind of thing myself.

Right now I’m quietly considering my options.

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Date
20030827
Photoshopping
Time
10:06
A veritable cornucopia of wonderfully naff retro images for you to use and abuse (link nabbed from ultimateinsult.net).

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Date
20030827
Summertime News
Time
10:08
British Romans in fashion faux-pas shock! Socks and sandals? No wonder the Empire crumbled.

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Date
20030827

Time
10:10
A pocket lexicon of teen lingo. Here’s a tip: why not just use words from your shared vocabulary?

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Date
20030827

Time
10:14
Find out when you can get a good peek at Mars. A £5 bet on overcast conditions in Britain tonight….

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Date
20030827

Time
10:16
The number of American troops killed in postwar Iraq now exceeds the number killed during the intial conflict. Is is still too early to start using the ‘V’ word?

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Date
20030827

Time
10:18
Government scientists in the 1950’s, curious to know how we would hold up under a nuclear attack, drew up secret plans to sell radioactive meat to the public. It’s not revealed whether the plan was put into action, but given that these documents were scheduled for release in 1972 and they haven’t seen the light of day until now, I’d say the chances are pretty bloody good.

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Date
20030828
Christianity Watch
Time
09:23
Ten Commandments monument moved. I watched Alabama Chief Justice Roy Moore speak out on TV last night. It scared me. The quote given at this CNN report doesn’t do the reception of his statement justice, so here’s the full version including crowd responses just for you. No, this isn’t a joke:

It is a sad day in our country… Praise Jesus! …when the moral foundation of our law… Speak it, brother! …and the acknowledgment of God… Hallelujah! …has to be hidden from public view… Amen! …to appease a federal judge. Go tell it on the mountain!

(OK, so maybe I made that last one up.)

UPDATE – In Tarrant County, Texas a lone protestor is demanding the removal of a statue of a sleeping panther on the grounds that it is a pagan image.

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Date
20030828
Photoshopping
Time
09:31
The infection… it spreads!

Thanks to Martin, we have a nifty scan of this unexpected tangent to the Star Wars Photoshopping Project from the 24 Aug edition of Sydney’s Sun Herald. The chap featured is Willie Mason. They appear to be making fun of his new hair-do.

Incidentally, I knocked out a fresh entry to the gallery yesterday after an excellent suggestion from Lewis Henson that I do The Matrix. You can see the result here.

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Date
20030828

Time
09:43
A handy find from The Ultimate InsultJetable offers disposable email, ideal for signing up to forums, making one-off Usenet posts, etc.

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Date
20030828

Time
09:45
Canada bans passport smiles. You must wear ‘a neutral expression.’ At all times. But think happy thoughts… happy thoughts… happy thoughts…

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Date
20030828

Time
09:52
Holiday Inn has declared today to be Towel Amnesty Day. A cold-hearted marketing monster pretending to be human, but fun all the same. After all, they don’t want their towels back, they just want you to tell them why you stole it. 25 100% legal souvenir towels are up for grabs for the best stories. (What, no shampoo or shower caps?)

As an added nicey-nicey touch, a crisp American dollar goes to charidee for each story told.

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Date
20030828

Time
10:03
Would-be pig thief brutally murdered. He was quite literally butchered like a hog.

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Date
20030828

Time
10:05
From the man who brought you claims that the U.S. Air Force flew Saddam out of Iraq comes this report about new American ‘super tanks’ used in Iraq that shoot fire and lightning.

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Date
20030828

Time
10:09
Mother charged after buying beer for her teenage son and friends and putting on a strip show for them. It was to make up for ‘a failed birthday trip to ride go-carts.’ The Smoking Gun has the paperwork. Me, I’m dying to see the mugshot.

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Date
20030828

Time
10:12
Guerilla Parenting (via TTR2).

I love this bit:

“Warning: Police may confuse your activities with illegal grafitti vandalism.”

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Date
20030828
Follow Up
Time
10:14
Former POW Jessica Lynch honorably discharged from Army. Sadly, they didn’t send a SWAT team in to stage a brave rescue from the Camden-Clark Memorial Hospital – but you’ll be happy to know that publishers are lining up with book deals.

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Date
20030828

Time
10:17
Germaine Greer is scheduled give a public lecture at the Department of Film, Television and Media Studies at the University of Auckland. The only problem is that she faces arrest upon entering New Zealand for swearing during an Auckland Town Hall meeting. In 1972.

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Date
20030828
Flash Games
Time
10:20
Bomb Bandits! (via FunJunkie). I sniggered at the name, but sucked at the game.

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Date
20030828
It’s War! And Somebody’s Telling Porkies!
Time
11:04
You may want to read the full story of Tony’s time in power before taking a peek at what some think will be the final chapter. This latter page is sure to feature update links and/or partial transcripts later today. A full transcript should be available via the Hutton Inquiry website sometime this evening.

Bring forth the interrogation droid!

UPDATE – Dossier wasn’t case for war says Blair. This BBC page also has a link to a blow-by-blow account.

UPDATE – A fine analysis of Tony’s lawyerspeak from Hanging Day. It’s not the first time he’s played the ‘exteremly serious’ card, and I seem to remember a certain document used as a central device in the justification for war not only by us, but the US as well.

Oh, and there’s a few thoughts from Bar Room Philosophy that you may wish to consider.

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Date
20030828

Time
15:41
Smoking Gun uncovers 1977 interview with Arnold Schwarzenegger. It’s fruity stuff. You may have to lower your chair.

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Date
20030829

Time
09:20
The site’s been down since about 6:00pm (GMT) last night. Sorry about that. One of our hamsters died. I woke up to find him dead on the wheel, the poor chap.

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Date
20030829
Tony Blair’s Email: News and Linkage
Time
09:21
The Guardian: TonyBlair@onlineatlast.gov.uk No name-check, but a mighty fine URL-check. It also contains a minor inaccuracy. I didn’t target Cherie to make her get in touch. I started with nude images of Tony then, when his office continued to ignore me, I started on Cherie. It was then that someone piped up with some solid e-mail addresses for the First Lady.

Note – if you’re a first-time visitor, you can read more about this exciting chapter by clicking here for the closing stages of the campaign. Alternatively, you can simply check out the archived weblog entry from the day I emailed her, which has a full transcript of the email sent and a very rare image for you to enjoy from the comfort of your own web shed.

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Date
20030829
Arrogance of Established Media
Time
09:26
The Mirror has swiped online content yet again by picking up the Arnie story blogged yesterday and giving zero credit to The Smoking Gun who originally unearthed and published the 1977 interview.

You can voice your displeasure here, or get in touch with their i-blog team (they don’t have many friends, so will be happy to hear from someone by email).

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Date
20030829

Time
09:35
Revealed: How RIAA tracks downloaders. Step One appears to be kicking your door down and seizing your computer.

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Date
20030829

Time
09:40
Today, it’s cold and miserable. Again. And I love it! I can’t wait to get home tonight and curl up in my burlap sack under the bridge. The bad news is that the cold weather has driven the flies indoors here at work. However, I brought a flyswatter in yesterday morning and we’ve got the little buggers on the run. I killed two with one blow yesterday when they stopped for a shag on top of my monitor. Please raise your coffee cups in a toast to dying happy.

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Date
20030829
Follow Up
Time
09:43
That bride who went on a drunken rampage has been fined $90 for creating a public disturbance. Shouldn’t her parents pay that fine?

(Also via romenesko’s Obscure Store… read about the man who published a fake obituary to get out of a court appearance.)

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Date
20030829

Time
09:48
Powerskip! A new German sport that lets you dance around like a cyber-enhanced fairy.

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Date
20030829

Time
09:50
Harrison Ford blasts US Iraq policy. Mind you, he waited until he was out of the country before he did so. The big baby.

In other news, Halliburton, the company formerly headed by Vice President Cheney, has won contracts worth more than $1.7 billion under Operation Iraqi Freedom. That’s far more than was originally claimed, and there’s more in the pipeline. So to speak.

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Date
20030829
Flash Music Video
Time
09:54
MTV roll out the Dancing Paul format yet again for God Save The Queen (link via TTR2).

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Date
20030829
Yet Another Lame Quiz
Time
09:57
The Jedi Test is a perfect example of how to suck all the value out of the personality quiz format.

Personal publishing is on the rise, largely thanks to a new format that allows people to express themselves through their discoveries. Personality quizzes go right to the heart of this (which is why they’ve played such a big part in the weblog explosion).

Where, may I ask, is the feature in this particular quiz that allows participants to display the results on their site and in doing so link to the quiz?

Some people never learn.

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Date
20030829

Time
10:07
Tour locations in London as featured in PS2’s Getaway. A fantabulous find from The Ultimate Insult.

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Date
20030829

Time
10:08
A new variation of the SoBig virus must have just kicked into gear. It’s been all quiet for the last 12 hours, and now they’re coming in thick and fast again.

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Date
20030829
Rupert ‘The Evil One’ Murdoch
Time
10:10
Al Franken talks about his big victory over the Fox News bullies.

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Date
20030829

Time
10:11
Are we really to good guys? Of course not – we just have a better publicity machine. Too bad it’s mostly internal. Y’see, this is why a lot have people have no qualms about blowing us up.

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Date
20030829
Friday Feedback
Time
10:32
The moment Downing St comes good on this invoice or due credit for the design of the email service I think we can pretty much call it a day on this long-running Can Weblogs…? project. The senatorial weblog campaign Can Weblogs Go To Washington? is still ticking along, but I think there’s room for another one if there’s a quick win up for grabs.

I’m open to suggestions, people. The word ‘we’ is not used in the royal sense. Emails to the usual address.

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Date
20030829

Time
11:31
My recent efforts have just been reviewed in Swedish. Would anybody care to translate? The credit link leading to this prayer has me ever so curious…

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Date
20030829

Time
12:18
FBI reported to be questioning 18-year-old suspect in the U.S. about the authorship of a later version of MSBlast (link via loving the alien). I’d be more impressed if they caught the rotten buggers behind SoBig, but as these guys look to be actual criminals (by and large smarter than your average attention-starved teenager), I’m not holding my breath.

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Date
20030829
Photoshopping
Time
13:50
The latest B3ta challenge just went live: Hollywood Premakes (how would current movies would look if made in the past).

I’ve only got time for one entry today, but it’s ever so user-friendly and you can see it here.

UPDATE – Front-page action! Huzzah!

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Date
20030829

Time
14:40
Steady on, fellas…

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Date
20030829

Time
15:47
Alastair Campbell is to resign as the government’s director of communications and strategy. (Thanks to Wibbler for the heads-up.) That’s one down…

UPDATE – make what you will of the BBC being so ready with an obituary, or drop by this page to leave a comment.

Best comment so far:

“Well he says he’s resigning. Have we had this confirmed by more than one source?”








Posted in Uncategorized | Comments Off on 16-29 August, 2003

01-15 August, 2003

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Date
20030801

Time
09:12
Government-commissioned report reveals how terrorists can best destroy Australia. This may seem like a shoot-yourself-in-foot moment, but the report does not detail any plans to halt the beer supply, and as such appears to be deliberately flawed.

UPDATE – This information is soooo sensitive, the newspaper wasn’t allowed to include the URL or the authors’ name. Too bad a direct quote from the report allowed me to find it in about 30 seconds.

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Date
20030801

Time
09:16
Behold Seyed, the religious prophet of many (domain) names.

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Date
20030801

Time
09:17
Six injured in freak milk-separating machine accident at Freeborn County Fair.

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Date
20030801

Time
09:18
He left court ‘without a stain on his character’ according to the judge, but you and I know that mud sticks and whispers will continue. Watch John Leslie’s statement after the decision. It looked and felt genuine to me. Give that man a weblog!

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Date
20030801
Does What It Says On The Tin
Time
09:20
Scott woke up one morning wondering what would happen if he wore a nametag everyday. See the drama and intrigue unfold at www.hellomynameisscott.com (via Ultimate Insult).

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Date
20030801
Anyone but George
Time
09:23
Dubya discusses top priorities for the U.S. You may want to read the immediate reaction to this:

“I believe in the sanctity of marriage. I believe a marriage is between a man and a woman. And I think we ought to codify that one way or the other. And we’ve got lawyers looking at the best way to do that.”

At times like this, you really have to ask yourself if there can be an effective separation of church and state when there’s a religious zealot in office. Especially when he seems to be adopting strategic stances to win votes from certain religious communities.

Also, Charlotte sent the following link in this morning:

The Emperor Has No Flight Suit!

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Date
20030801

Time
09:38
Wired: The Case for Terrorism Futures

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Date
20030801

Time
09:41
Vandal wears high-heels to disguise getaway footprints. Too bad he was spotted wearing the heels and police found an abandoned pair of tennis shoes at the scene of the crime.

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Date
20030801

Time
09:44
Sex with stranger costs $37,500

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Date
20030801
Christianity Watch
Time
09:45
Over Three Hundred Proofs of God’s Existence. Well, that’s me told, then.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030801

Time
09:47
I hate when I have an idea, don’t act on it, and then see it (poorly) executed by somebody else.

I wanted my evil fortune cookies to be produced for real (instead of on a website with two Amazon affiliate links). I contacted the three major producers of fortune cookies in the UK, and all of them turned the idea down as wholly inappropriate.

Bummer.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030801
Tony Blair’s Email
Time
09:57
You may have noticed that – after months of campaigning – I pretty much backed off on the whole Tony Blair email thing when war broke out. I had what I considered to be a pretty solid promise of delivery, and it was pretty obvious that they weren’t about to launch it at a time when the system was likely to be immediately overloaded.

Now, however, we have the promised delivery date of ‘during August,’ and guess what? It’s August! I’ll be watching matters very closely. They have 31 days.

You people have seen me cut loose before. It’s not pretty. Here’s hoping for the best.

UPDATE – Like it or not, it looks like Alastair Campbell is headed for the chop. To nominate me as his replacement, get in touch with Tony’s communications dept. the old-fashioned way or send them a message via this email-to-facsimile address.

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Date
20030801
The Political Weblog Movement
Time
10:15
David Weinberger is now ‘Senior Internet Advisor’ for Howard Dean. Well done, you. Here’s hoping we see more posts from the man himself as a result. (Link magically discovered via Technorati, which revealed this post at Das E-Business Weblog.)

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030801
Can Weblogs…?
Time
12:46
Can Weblogs Go To Washington? was the question we asked. The main drive was to get a blogging facility requested and installed at senate.gov but, as Steve has kindly informed us, Senate minority leader Tom Daschle planning to start a blog regardless of this current lack of publishing format.

Can weblogs go to Washington? Ladies and gentlemen, they have officially arrived, and the very first post can be found here.

We still want Movable Type or a bloody good equivalent installed at senate.gov, though – and you can still help to make that happen – but it looks like I’ll need another Can Weblogs…? project soon.

Currently I’m toying with the idea of getting JPEG Baby to the top of the charts.

It’s Friday. Send feedback.

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Date
20030801
Photoshopping
Time
16:01
The Guardian is having a design your own sculpture for Trafalgar Square’s fourth plinth competition thingy.

If I can’t have George Orwell, I want one of these. (Click here for a larger version.)

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030802

Time
07:45
Ronald (Ronnie) Scelson is in the news again, defending the indefensible.

And lo, Ronnie did see ISPs filtering known spam, and did crawl out from under his rock and proclaim:

“There’s no right for them to decide and destroy what belongs to you. Whether you want it or not is your decision, not the carriers.”

Reach out and touch the man. You know you want to.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030804

Time
08:58
Jesus used Marijuana? No wonder he was so good at the old ‘loaves and fishes’ trick. They didn’t have 7-11s in them days.

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Date
20030804
Follow Up
Time
09:00
That chap who stole a bus, took it on its normal route and collected passengers and fares has been at it again.

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Date
20030804
Flash Thingies
Time
09:04
Keep your parents off the Internet! Scott’s right… it is slightly amusing.

I had an interesting moment with my Mum yesterday, when calling Australia about this and that. I wanted to show her that cool search result for ‘love song’… and please keep in mind that this was moments after her comment that she sometimes find content at Bloggerheads disturbing.

“Ah yes, but we’re doing good things, Mother. Pop along to Google…”

“Yes…”

“Enter the search query ‘love song’…”

“OK, here come the results..”

“Do you see it there at number 4?”

“Oh yes, ‘JPEG Baby’…. what is that?”

“You mean you haven’t heard ‘JPEG Baby’ yet?”

“No.”

“OKseeyouMumloveyoubye.”

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030804

Time
09:13
Read a discussion about religion prompted by a link to the Universal Church of the Interactive Network.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030804
Riding High on Blogdex
Time
09:15
Did Bob Hope ever say anything funny? You’ll find the range of comments about this piece and its author far more interesting than the article itself.

Also, the preview release launch of TypePad today has most people’s attention.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030804

Time
09:18
Meg Ryan to star in violent, sexually explicit thriller. I hope it’s not too violent; skinny actresses of a certain age have a tendency to snap like dry kindling.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030804
Photoshopping
Time
09:21
Fark theme: Photoshop President Bush snickering.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030804
The Political Weblog Movement
Time
09:24
Following this announcement we hear news that Howard Dean is to drive his ‘grass roots’ campaign via television advertising. Please note the addition of inverted commas, now made necessary by the use of mass communication.

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Date
20030804

Time
09:34
HangingDay: Five predictions about the David Kelly enquiry.

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Date
20030804
Anyone but George
Time
09:35
Less than half of US would vote to return Bush to White House: poll Yes, but less than half got him into the White House in the first place.

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Date
20030804
Funny, That…
Time
09:37
Senator fuming over gay marriage order. Says Rome should have more respect for America’s long-held separation of church and state.

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Date
20030804

Time
09:40
Boulder librarians deleting user databases to protest the Patriot Act.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030804
Viral Marketing
Time
09:43
Justin Kirby edges dangerously close to the truth about viral marketing. Still no mention of the SEO factor, though – and he really shouldn’t have mentioned Fark or B3ta. Now they’ll be inundated with commercial crap for the next three weeks running.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030804

Time
09:48
John Leslie – Should he have been given anonymity?

I picked up a stray copy of the Daily Mail on Saturday. Always a mistake. They went straight for the man’s jugular, with 8 pages dedicated to exposing his evil nature. My favourite informed/expert opinion started with: “I never met John Leslie, but I certainly know his type…”

UPDATE – And here’s a picture, boys and girls…

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Date
20030804

Time
10:51
Hoon under fire as holiday clashes with Kelly funeral. Tony Blair will also be out of the country on the day (sunning himself in lovely Barbados). According to some papers, Janice Kelly has said that neither of them would be welcome anyway, but the government still feels it necessary to send a reliable stand-in for this sensitive occasion – John Prescott.

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Date
20030804

Time
13:08
Just a little Google-juice for smelly water.

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Date
20030804
A Blog Is Born
Time
15:27
Scott from The Ultimate Insult is on the ball. Introducing the weblog of Austin Mitchell (Labour MP for Grimsby).

1. Here’s a growing list of people who care.

2. I could have sworn his name was Austin Haddock.

3. Austin has always been somewhat of an individual, so I’ll do my best to deal with the eyeball-tearing colour scheme.

4. The link to this from his static site points us to a non-existant index.htm file. Somebody may wish to update this link so it directs us to the index.php file or – to keep things simple – http://www.austinmitchell.org/

5. I looked and looked and looked, but couldn’t find any way to email Austin and congratulate him. Oh well. Back to the static site we go for the necessary contact information (and a quick perv on his staff).

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030805
Christianity Watch
Time
08:56
Cardinal denounces same-sex headline. He doesn’t say what’s wrong with it, he just denounces it. I think perhaps the suggestion is that the Vatican’s recent statement on same-sex marriages isn’t anti-gay, it’s pro-hetero – and shame on you for not knowing the difference. I tell you, this Catholic-bashing getting way out of hand.

Speaking of which:

Smart investing and Catholic values? Now you can have both!

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030805

Time
09:04
Hanging Day dares to ask: Has Private Eye gone establishment? Tissues and tears all round.

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Date
20030805

Time
09:05
Tiny Tim: The Musical. It’s got puppets! Woo!

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Date
20030805

Time
09:06
Inventor develops electronic glove to translate sign language into speech.

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Date
20030805
Does What It Says On The Tin
Time
09:07
www.freethegnomes.com

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Date
20030805
Search Engine Optimisation
Time
09:09
Google has introduced a new advanced search feature that allows users to search not only for a particular keyword, but also for its synonyms. I’ll have a poke around with that later today.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030805

Time
09:11
Why are Liberian soldiers wearing fright wigs? Cross-dressing combatants are a fun distraction, but these kids are drugged out of their minds and running around willy-nilly with live ammunition. And we feel compelled to stand by on the sidelines because we’ve already had one war this year.

Cheery news for a Tuesday, huh? Here, some images of nuclear explosions will help jolly you up.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030805
Riding High on Blogdex
Time
09:16
How to install Windows XP in 5 hours or less.

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Date
20030805

Time
09:17
Right-wing bloggers follow ’10 best’ list with ’10 worst figures in history’ list. Bill Clinton manages third place. Jane Fonda and Michael Moore get ‘honourable mentions.’

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Date
20030805
Only Interesting to Bloggers
Time
09:20
RSS: Dave Winer vs. the alternative developers. It’s already descended into childish name-calling – on one side, anyway.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030805
Telemarketers
Time
09:23
Read about a new scam meant to get around the new ‘do not call’ list.

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Date
20030805

Time
09:25
Robert De Niro, Harvey Keitel and Howard Stern are legally entitled to carry a loaded firearm in NYC. Steven Seagal and Joan Rivers are not.

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Date
20030805

Time
09:52
Peace love and rainbows… Gay and Lesbian Alliance (GLA) changes name to Death Penalty Party of South Africa (DPP).

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Date
20030805

Time
09:55
Consumerism gone mad: celebrity ducks.

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Date
20030805

Time
09:56
Heh. A nice reaction to the Pentagon’s proposedthenquicklyshelved terrorism futures market. Why bet and trade of terrorism when you can instead bet and trade on which country the White House will threaten next?

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030805
Tom’s Teens Page
Time
13:43
Tom Watson’s Teens! page enjoyed another outing in print today, courtesy of yet another journalist operating without the benefit of a scroll bar (or a sense of humour, by the looks of things).

Thanks to Joe Smith for the heads-up.

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Date
20030805
Photoshopping
Time
16:09
I made this. Oh, and on my travels I found this cool ‘photos of my friends’ site that pretty much typifies Tripod use. (Poor Amanda – a promising modelling career shot to hell…)

Mind you, some good is done on this corner of the web. Case in point: The Ultimate Build Your Own Cow Page!

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030806

Time
09:07
Really bad spam delights geeks. Whatever floats your boat. I hate it all.

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Date
20030806

Time
09:09
There’s a funeral today. Take time out for a minute’s silence if you can. Then get back to shouting.

Repeat after me:

“It’s all about regime change!”

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Date
20030806

Time
09:11
I’m sure you’ll enjoy this fantastic collection of souped-up rice-burners. The genuinely sad spend as much on their sound system as their bodywork and accessories. I once knew a chap whose bass-bins took up the entire back seat. This would be a problem if he ever met a real-live girly. If…

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Date
20030806

Time
09:16
Man gets 12 months for publishing bomb recipes on his website. The website in question is here. You may wish to read the statement on it. The grand and glorious Web Archive is having server problems at the moment, but it’s probably worth checking later today to see the earlier version of the site that got him into so much trouble.

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Date
20030806

Time
09:21
Explore the Mormon/Battlestar Galactica Connection (link via the Ultimate Insult). This site has a bunch of other crazy B-movie stuff on it. So does this one. Enjoy.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030806

Time
09:26
Steel Worker Takes 30,000-Volt Jolt. Apparently it’s a miracle he’s alive, but major voltage passing through your body is less likely to kill you than, say, a modest 240v or so. Mind you, it burns like a bastard…

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Date
20030806

Time
09:28
Here’s an interesting little camcorder review found by FunJunkie.

UPDATE – Many, many, many more excellent reviews can be found in this B3ta thread.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030806
Christianity Watch
Time
09:30
Two lame mud-slinging attempts have fallen by the wayside and the Episcopal Church has approved the election of its first openly gay bishop.

More earth-shattering than this, however, is the news that 404 errors were foretold in the Bible (link removed because spam).

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Date
20030806

Time
09:33
Power from blood could lead to ‘human batteries’

Insert obligatory Matrix reference here.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030806

Time
09:35
John Farnham has been asked to join famed British rock band Queen! If you just said ‘John who…?’ then count yourself lucky. Nobody deserves to start Wednesday morning with a cold and dark fear that penetrates their very soul…

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030806

Time
09:39
Hooray for Japanese vending machines!

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030806
Photoshopping
Time
10:12
The temperature is supposed to top 37 degrees celsius today, so for the rest of the morning I am going to attempt to beat the heat by pretending that it’s Christmas.

Wish me luck.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030807

Time
09:21
Some frank tips for avoiding airline terrorism. Pick of the bunch:

“Bring your own bomb on board. If terrorists get up and start threatening everyone, you then threatening to blow up the plane if they don’t shut up. That will steal their thunder, and they’ll probably just sulk and then sit back down.”

Also, there’s this:

Help! Hong Kong police-terrorist use Brain Voice Read / Write Machine Murders Hong Kong people , 100% true story, please E-mail your dear people and the local news, thank my dear Internet friend.

My work is done here. Onwards and upwards…

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030807
Riding High on Blogdex
Time
09:25
I was just getting over the news that Arnold Schwarzenegger is running for governor of California when I turned on my ‘puter to discover what radio and television decided to keep from me… that Gary Coleman is also running!

Oh, this is going to be fun. When you’re done reading quotes from Arnold Schwarzenegger’s announcement, you might want to also consider ten reasons why Gary deserves your vote.

Finally, we take a look at this morning’s chart topper:

Also-run Larry Flynt is requesting that you pray for the death of FOX news ‘journalist’ and anchor Bill O’Reilly.

You can find out what other bloggers think about this by clicking here or here.

PHOTOSHOPPING UPDATE – Don’t laugh. It could happen.

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Date
20030807

Time
09:42
Hooray for Google News Alerts! Now I’ll get an email anytime Tim Yeo gets a mention. This, combined with the ‘Blog This’ feature on Google’s toolbar, makes stalking the man a breeze.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030807

Time
09:46
Given the choice, would you travel by a dog-powered scooter or flying car?

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030807

Time
09:49
J-Lo has dumped Ben. Try to pretend that you care.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030807

Time
09:50
Women exposed to WTC dust may be giving birth to undersized babies. The asbestos issue looks to have been swept under the rug (as is said) but this site pokes around the top Google search results for you.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030807

Time
09:58
Enjoy rock’s ten most infamous copyright battles. Huey Lewis vs. Ray Parker Jr. will always be my favourite. Apparently the producers of the film Ghostbusters specifically referenced I Want a New Drug when describing the kind of sound they were looking for and Ray, Dog bless him, delivered it in the most efficient way possible – by simply ripping off the melody.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030807

Time
10:06
Bus driver drinks until 4:00am before starting shift at 4:10am

A completely different bus driver got around the ‘no shorts’ rule by wearing a skirt instead.

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Date
20030807
Tom’s Teens Page
Time
10:08
A fanta-stick letter in the latest issue of Private Eye hits the nail right on the head. Brian Whiley of Hull, if you’re out there, drop me a line. A free book is yours for the asking.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030807

Time
10:12
Napalm devices were used on Iraqi troops.

Said Col. Randolph Alles; “The generals love napalm. It has a big psychological effect.”

He also notes that it’s a less than pleasant way to die. The White House takes a different view. It’s not napalm, oh no. It’s a firebomb. And presumably it kills people in an entirely different and much more pleasant manner. Kind of like flowers falling from the sky, except with a slight tingling sensation and a mild BBQ-like smell.

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Date
20030807

Time
10:33
Amazon.com founder Jeff Bezos is branching into space-tourism.

You know, it occurred to me recently that the Russian space program could benefit greatly from a little clever marketing. Dennis Tito paid the Russian Space Agency $20m, but there have been state lotteries in the U.S. offering prizes bigger than this (and taking in a great deal more in the process).

So why not have a lottery offering the winner a chance to go into space?

It’s a beautiful idea in so many ways:

– For the month or so that the lottery runs, everybody who participates will get to enjoy that tantalising (albeit slight) possibility of travelling in space.

– The person who does end up going won’t be some rich nut with more money than sense.

– The Russian Space Agency will take in a shedload more than $20m.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030807

Time
16:40
I was just having a quick poke around trying to see if there were any weblogs, community sites or portals for the UK fashion/modelling scene, and while I did find one solid weblog on the subject pretty much straight away, I am very easily distracted.

And here are those distractions in full:

Men with eye-patches. Is there anything cooler than a complete loss of depth perception?

Surely this qualifies as desecration of the American flag?

1. It’s touching the ground.

2. It’s touching pubic hair!

3. It’s probably also duct-taped to his butt.

Finally, whatever happened to natural big-breasted curvy girls?

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030808

Time
09:05
‘Wedding still on’ says Lopez. Thanks, Steve. We can all sleep now.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030808

Time
09:06
There’s a nice write-up on the current Iraq situation over at Hanging Day – and a timely warning for Hans Blix. For the sake of your own health, Hans, do try to avoid deserted streets and grassy knolls.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030808

Time
09:08
Behold the sporting wonder that is Zorb!

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Date
20030808

Time
09:09
Court rules that man is not allowed to own a dog. Ever. “You’re just a bad, bad owner,” said the judge.

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Date
20030808

Time
09:11
The Monkey Shakespeare Simulator (via Ultimate Insult).

It’s kind of like a simian version of the Seti @ Home project. Every time you view the page, ‘your computer is put to work to simulate a number of monkeys typing randomly on typewriters, and each page typed is checked against every play Shakespeare ever wrote.’

Heh. Cool. The longer you stay on the page, the greater your chances of breaking the current record – 6 letters from King John after 86,339 monkey-years.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030808

Time
09:18
Security flaw at spammer’s website reveals people are actually buying. Doesn’t surprise me. Close to a quarter of a million people The Sun is a newspaper and Lombard Direct is ‘easier, faster and cheaper’ than going to the bank.

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Date
20030808

Time
09:25
I played with the Random Personal Picture Finder for a bit yesterday. It’s pretty smooth, and has a nifty ‘choose size of picture’ feature, but I still have a soft spot for Randimaginator.

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Date
20030808
Flash Games
Time
09:28
3D Stress Ball is like Marble Madness, except with bouncing and far more severe consequences when gravity takes hold.

Ooooh, what’s that big green and brown thing coming towards me? I think I’ll call it ‘ground.’ I wonder if it will be my friend…

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030808

Time
09:31
When good stories go bad:

Some prankster set a chicken aloft by attaching 100 helium balloons to it. It became trapped in power lines, and a police officer used an air pistol to pop some balloons and bring the chicken safely to the ground. Said officer is now being investigated for firing a non-regulation weapon. At, what we can only assume, was a non-regulation chicken.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030808

Time
09:36
Researchers publish guidelines for Web addiction, complete with nifty acronym:

More than intended time spent online

Other responsibilities neglected

Unsuccessful attempts to cut down

Significant relationship discord because of use

Excessive thoughts or anxiety when not online.

Now perhaps somebody can look into the risks of researching and at what stage it interferes with somebody actually having a life.

Ooooh, hang on, there’s more:

Yet another team of researchers claim that email users are only six mouse-clicks away from anyone else in cyberspace.

You can tell it’s summer break, can’t you?

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030808

Time
09:39
This giant robot dog costume is the coolest thing you will see all week. The inclusion of an animated pilot (that ‘operates’ the controls in synch with the wearer’s movements) is inspired.

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Date
20030808

Time
09:45
Parking inspector puts parking ticket on windscreen of car. While the driver was slumped in the front seat, dead from an overdose.

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Date
20030808

Time
09:48
A cool collection of Russian anti-alcohol posters.

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Date
20030808

Time
09:49
New stadium’s toilets tested with simultaneous flushing. 200 volunteers flushed 627 toilets.

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Date
20030808

Time
16:01
Here you go – look at some flat tops.

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Date
20030808
Does What It Says On The Tin
Time
16:22
Via NTK:

www.fixyourmp.com

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Date
20030808
Photoshopping
Time
16:24
Some wallpaper-sized movie images for you, and a nice collection of hi-res images from T3. Use them wisely.

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Date
20030810

Time
12:12
This bloody heatwave had better break soon. The unrelenting heat is starting to diddle with my head. Poor sleep, the inability to think straight… I never liked it in Australia, and I certainly don’t like it here.

Enough with the heat already!

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Date
20030811

Time
09:00
It’s… tesg’s guide to big chain road food consumption (via Ultimate Insult).

His review of Kenny Rogers Roasters is pretty straightforward:

“I don’t care for chicken, and I don’t care for Kenny Rogers.”

Still, he managed to walk away with a new-found love for Kenny’s wood-fired rotisserie chicken, if not for the man himself.

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Date
20030811
Flash Games
Time
09:04
El Reggio is right. This game isn’t the best game in the world, but the work-alert feature is second to none.

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Date
20030811
It’s War! And Somebody’s Telling Porkies!
Time
09:07
WMDs: Depiction of Threat Outgrew Supporting Evidence

Oh, but there’s new evidence on the way. No, really.

Why are you looking at me like that?

UPDATE – Tickle your giblets with more on this subject over at Hanging Day.

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Date
20030811
Riding High on Blogdex
Time
09:10
This example of a bikini model shot from a digital manipulation portfolio is enjoying a fair amount of attention.

She looks great at first, but then we find out that she’s got bad skin, a furry body and hands like grandma.

Says the artist:

“It doesn’t seem natural to me to take out every curve, to airbrush out every blemish, but what the Art Director wants, the Art Director will get.”

Remember, if you don’t have access to Photoshop, then beer has pretty much the same effect.

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Date
20030811

Time
09:17
Remember the good old days before cable television when the cheapest thrill one could have at home was a twenty minute (ahem) ‘aerobic’ workout?

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Date
20030811

Time
09:20
Southwest ticket agent tells man he is too big to fit on the plane – makes point by pointing to his stomach and laughing.

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Date
20030811
Anyone but George
Time
09:22
Now, this is a campaign site I can believe in.

On a similar note, the anti-Arnie movement got off to a good start this weekend with this striking campaign and this run-down at rotten.com (careful with that last one – it contains a naughty image or two).

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Date
20030811
Only Interesting to Bloggers
Time
09:27
A charming song from Radio Free Blogistan and a review of Blogshares.

Incidentally, shares in Bloggerheads.com show steady growth. Invest today. Or send me some real money.

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Date
20030811
U.C.I.N.
Time
09:32
The Universal Church of the Interactive Network has been reviewed by this weblog that tracks ‘unusual’ churches.

Unusual? What’s unusual about love and respect for your fellow web users?

Oh, right. Reality. Sorry, I do keep forgetting…

BTW, current UCIN placement for the ultimate generic search query ‘religion’ in Google is 91st (up from 102nd last month). Slowly but surely…

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030811

Time
09:38
Car falls from five-story carpark and lands on rooftop opposite.

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Date
20030811
Follow Up
Time
09:39
US admits it used napalm bombs in Iraq.

A 1980 UN convention banned the use of napalm against civilian targets. Yet another treaty not signed by the ultimate rogue state.

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Date
20030811

Time
09:42
Mr Men ‘go corporate’ to sell pharmaceutical message to kiddies.

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Date
20030811
Tom’s Teens Page
Time
09:46
Heh. Tom’s not taking any chances with Private Eye – and rightly so.

As Paul Carr notes in this excellent article, a simple search would have saved them a lot of embarrassment.

That’s a good rule of thumb, there:

“When in doubt, use Google.”

And, if still flummoxed, try Technorati.

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Date
20030811

Time
09:53
Man disguised as gorilla snatches bananas from shop. The shopkeeper was treated for shock. You may also want to take a seat for the earth-shattering revelation that a film company was behind the prank.

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Date
20030811

Time
09:56
Prince William spears antelope while on holiday in Kenya. The freshly shish-kebabed beast is also known as a ‘dik-dik,’ providing animal lovers and cheap tabloids ample ammunition with which to strike back on its behalf.

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Date
20030811
Spam
Time
10:00
Ah yes, now this is what we like to see: filters that fight back.

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Date
20030811
Flash Thingies
Time
11:03
Meet Edward the Fat Panda.

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Date
20030811

Time
11:43
Bill Thompson is Andrew Orlowski in a fake beard AICMFP.

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Date
20030811

Time
12:40
When the killer heatwave finally breaks down south we can look forward to killer lightning strikes.

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Date
20030811
Flash Thingies
Time
16:35
This should keep you busy for the rest of the afternoon. Play with the numbers, click OK. That’s about it, really.

Try 15, 5, 10, 10 for a cool bouncing wormlet, or go and watch the B3tans playing with it.

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Date
20030811

Time
16:47
Prepare to up-chuck (submitted by Pete, who now has to clean my shoes).

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Date
20030812

Time
08:54
Two big launch announcements:

Announcing Issue Zero of the London News Review (£5 well spent) and the victorious debut of the Domkun kettle in the Screen Pages office kitchenette (a heavily lime-scaled veteran bites the dust).

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Date
20030812

Time
08:59
Speedstacks is the undisputed leader in the exciting sport of of Cup Stacking. You’ll want to make time to watch their collection video clips.

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Date
20030812

Time
09:01
Historic schoolhouse deroofed when demolition contractor starts work on wrong building.

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Date
20030812

Time
09:03
Some ‘off the record’ work stories (link via Ultimate Insult). Some of them read like the lamest of Life’s Like That submissions, but there are some gems hidden in there.

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Date
20030812
Yet Another Lame Quiz
Time
09:06
Which Fantasy/SciFi Character Are You? I’m Elrond – a ‘stern yet benevolent organiser.’ Isn’t that nice?

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Date
20030812

Time
09:10
Hong Kong fashion company under fire for Nazi-themed clothing line and store decorations.

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Date
20030812

Time
09:11
Doonebury’s trolling for blog traffic.

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Date
20030812
Flash Thingies
Time
09:13
George Bush is a bad egg.

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Date
20030812
Riding High on Blogdex
Time
09:13
Should be interesting to see how this pans out: a weblog investigating the effectiveness of penis enlargement pills. Some people are already asking if it’s a clever marketing ploy. See a list of weblogs that link to this.

On a related note, the President of the Australian Society of Plastic Surgery has said that men seeking surgical penis enlargement are showing ‘profound psychological disturbance.’ Best stick with the pills, then.

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Date
20030812

Time
09:18
The Game Show Network is offering lesser-known candidates for Governor of California a chance to debate en-masse live on TV. The show is quite cleverly titled Who Wants to Be Governor of California?

You might also want to check out porn-star candidate Mary Carey’s official election site when the boss isn’t watching. Shall I tempt you with a platform sample?

1. Legalize gay marriage in California. This will generate a tremendous amount of revenue for the state as a honeymoon destination.

UPDATE – See a picture or Mary Carey chatting with fellow candidate Mathilda Karel Spak (100) while they wait for their paperwork to clear.

Finally, more anti-Arnie bits and bobs for you to enjoy. Seems folks are on the lookout for any footage of Mr Schwarzenegger misbehaving on UK television.

OK folks, can we help out on this one?

UPDATE – Found some screengrabs. See Arnie wrestling with Denise van Outen here and here. All in good fun.

Oh, and have you seen this at your local news stand today? Does it scare you as much as it scares me?

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Date
20030812

Time
09:24
Traces of Agent Orange still linger in the Vietnamese food chain.

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Date
20030812
Flash Games
Time
09:58
Play shopkeeper! I was terrible. So much for my planned career in the service industry.

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Date
20030812

Time
10:01
Stray chickens in Bartow, Florida are now officially ‘fair game.’ Can you say ‘buckwheats’ boys and girls?

UPDATE – Do watch out for chickens that can fight back and, hey, let’s be careful out there.

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Date
20030812
Online Marketing
Time
10:09
Read about B3tans whoring themselves in the online advertising world. It does irk me slightly that the B3ta mods tend to shun all commercial executions – unless of course it’s made by one of the B3ta mods. OK, it’s their site, but the hypocrisy doesn’t sit well.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030812

Time
14:16
A man claiming to be Saddam Hussein’s sorcerer has predicted that the former dictator will be found dead in the village of Dhuluaiyah (55 miles north of Baghdad). He has also asked not to be identified. We can probably assume from this that Saddam has more than sorcerer – or just one very stupid one.

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Date
20030812
Doing The Rounds
Time
14:53
You should be getting a copy of this link (or a screen grab of same) in the mail anytime now.

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Date
20030812

Time
17:11
You’ve probably already read about the sentencing of Luke Sadowski the 19-year-old who tried to buy a 9-year-old girl for sexual purposes.

Seeing the footage of his arrest was even scarier. The kid looked completely distanced from reality. Just about every aspect of the case is mind-boggling, from the borderline entrapment to the light sentencing.

Now someone has just posted the following to the Popbitch board:

Luke Sadowski’s mother is a social worker. His father is a child psychologist.

If it’s true (remember, we are talking about Popbitch here), then we may very well drown in saliva when The Sun starts frothing at the mouth about it.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030813

Time
09:12
This NYT article (submitted by Nic) requires registration, so here’ s a quote to wet your whistle:

“In a lame attempt to be hip, pols are posting soggy, foggy, bloggy musings on the Internet. Inspired by Howard Dean’s success in fund-raising and mobilizing on the Web, candidates are crowding into the blogosphere – spewing out canned meanderings in a genre invented by unstructured exhibitionists.”

If you can get past the sarky attitude, this article does make a few good points worth pondering, and is rare in that it points out that Howard Dean doesn’t actually post much himself.

If you want political blogging to go in the right direction, if you want your local elected officials to speak to you like a human being, then the first step is up to you. A good blog starts with the right motivation.

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Date
20030813
Riding High on Blogdex
Time
09:19
Everyone’s worried about the W32.Blaster.Worm – and rightly so.

Apparently it’s a right bugger to fix and Microsoft aren’t able to help a heck of a lot. A chap at work has an infected machine at home. He (just barely) managed to power up and patch, the log files showed a successful correction, but the infection remains.

Watch for updates, and watch your step.

UPDATE – Justin successfully removed this little bastard of a virus from his ‘puter last night and has provided this useful link for the afflicted. Cheers, mate.

Oh, there’s also this info page from The Washington Post.

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Date
20030813

Time
09:24
Ralph Nader has copped a pie in the face the day after it was whispered that he claimed that the September 11th terrorist attacks wouldn’t have happened if he had been president (scroll down).

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030813

Time
09:27
A (very) close look at vinyl addressed ‘to the people who are still in love with their vinyl collections.’

Wonderful stuff. Sadly, I had to leave my vinyl collection behind when I left Australia – it simply wouldn’t have survived the extremes of temperature your average shipping container is subjected to.

I hope one day to be reunited with my vinyl. It’s in trustworthy hands, but it did come close to disaster during a recent bushfire. Yes, I lost sleep as a result.

Pretty sad, huh?

Even sadder, I think it would be a good idea to transfer vinyl recordings to MP3 so even tech-heads can enjoy their favourite tracks as God intended them.

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Date
20030813

Time
09:35
I don’t know which way to spit!

Did you know that Fox News registered ‘Fair & Balanced’ as a trademark in 1995?

!!!

Now an author wants to take a look at this ridiculous state of affairs but Fox is suing him over the title.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030813
It’s War! And Things Is Getting Ridiculous!
Time
09:38
Activist fined $10,000 for going to Iraq to protest the war. He thought the fine was $500, but authorities have record-clubbed his ass by jacking up the price. That’ll learn him.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030813

Time
09:40
Bust a move with Rippin’ Richie at popandlock.com!

The site includes hints and tips for improved body-popping endurance, details about his instructional DVD (will teach you how to pop, wave, glide and do the ‘King Tut’ – with no shipping charges for a limited time only) and his thoughts on politics and religion.

You’ll want to check out his ‘not-at-all-typical 9/11 song’ – it’s a wonder to behold.

It also magically sticks in your head, like all good songs should.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030813

Time
09:50
American tourists scared by hi-tech Japanese toilets.

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Date
20030813

Time
09:53
Like lists? Here are the fifty worst worst artists in music history according to US music magazine Blender. I’m sure you’ll find at least one inclusion to object to.

Get yourself a free copy of Blender and write a letter of complaint to the editor. It won’t silence the voices, but it may kill an hour or two.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030813

Time
10:14
Stand by for cynicism…

Last night, this story was presented by the BBC as a terrorist plot to shoot down Air Force One.

Pardon? How’s that work then?

Everybody except the dealers involved were government operatives in on the sting, from the Russians who sold it to missile, to the customs agents who allowed it through – even the bloody buyer was an FBI agent!

The threat to Air Force One is now being played down, but I’m willing to bet it was presented as part of the sales pitch (‘Just imagine what this baby could do!’).

We also have a high-risk-completely-genuine-not-all-all-to-do-with-PR terror threat going on and a scheduled terror test on the tube.

OK, the danger is there, but the timing of some previous alerts and exercises (like rolling tanks into Heathrow the day before the biggest peace march in this country’s history) has a lot of people wondering what is real and what is rubbish.

That, I would think, is a threat in itself.

UPDATE – Ionicus remembers the tank stunt, too – and wonders quietly why we never heard anything about the supposed threat, where it came from and where it went to…

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030813

Time
11:42
Heads up! The Hutton Inquiry has its own website! Cheers to Andy who’s minding the fort for Tom.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030813

Time
13:38
A ‘5 Questions’ blog-interviewing meme is doing the rounds. Sadly, my link in the chain is weakened by my lack of permalinks and a comments function, so allow me to present the passage of this meme from its origins to my blog by way of apology:

I found out about it via bar room philosophy, who picked it up from Green Fairy, who learned of it from Feministe, who cottoned on via Swirlspice, who was infected via Kathy Howe who plucked it from the source at Cornelia Smith’s weblog.

Here are the rules. To play, you will need your own weblog or online journal.

1. If you want to participate, leave a comment saying “interview me” (in my case, of course, you will have to send me an email…).

2. I will respond by asking you five questions – each person’s will be different.

3. You will update your weblog/journal with the answers to the questions.

4. You will include this explanation and an offer to interview others in the same post.

5. When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions.

Now, without further ado, I present my answers to the questions from Justin at bar room philosophy.

1. Imagine you have been given unlimited funds and resources in order to make the world a better place. How would you go about it?

Can I rephrase that to ‘considerable funds and resources’? With unlimited resources, I’d simply be able to distribute them evenly – as generously as I wished – and then take the rest of the day off (so I could listen to all of the people complaining that what I gave them wasn’t enough).

2. Blow your own trumpet. What is your greatest contribution to the field of human endeavour?

Well, rooty-toot-toot! I’ve made well over a million people happy in one way or another, but I’d probably place more importance on the few people I’ve inspired to go out and do the same thing. Does that blow enough?

3. Name a world record you would like to be the owner of and why.

Best-selling book of all time – because the Bible has held the title for far too long. The money would come in handy, too.

4. Your blog or daylight. Which would you rather go without for a month?

Only a month? Pass the sun lamp.

5. If you were forced to, which of your five senses would you give up? Why that sense?

Humour. It would allow me to finally go into politics.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030814

Time
09:27
Hanging Day on the demise of Lady Mosely. Altogether now:

Who do you think you are kidding Independent?

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030814
It’s War! And Somebody’s Telling Porkies!
Time
09:29
Is the White House manipulating Iraqi intelligence?

They seem to have a fair amount of influence over UK intelligence, albeit by sucking Tony Blair dry of his.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030814
Only Interesting to Bloggers
Time
09:31
Andrew Orlowski lays in with some Winer-bashing.

A glowing review for Typepad with one minor grumble. He’s right – the Amazon linkage is a bit cheeky.

Finally, cheers to Wordlab for the kind mention (and to Simon for the heads-up).

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Date
20030814
Riding High on Blogdex
Time
09:38
Top link today: Google’s clever little conkulator.

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Date
20030814
Old News
Time
09:39
Yesterday was International Left Handers Day and National Underwear Day. Hands up everyone else who missed it (i.e. right-handed people who forgot to wear underwear).

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Date
20030814

Time
09:44
Old nutter spends thousands of dollars putting up ‘Thank God for Fox News’ billboards. He wants to wake the young folks up.

On the opposite end of the nutter spectrum, may I present this report of the US Air Force flying Saddam Hussein out of Baghdad?

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Date
20030814

Time
09:47
Hooray! It’s the Young Communist League U.S.A. to the rescue. Read some fun poetry or find out how to start your own club. Even better, simply join online. Another witch-hunt can’t be too far way, and you’ll want to have your name on those all-important membership lists.

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Date
20030814
Follow Up
Time
09:53
SFGate reports on the Elite Force Dubya action figure. It’s not a toy, it’s an ‘adult collectible item.’

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Date
20030814

Time
09:55
Christian school pressured to fire principal. He took a long line of young ladies to ‘Disney’ and back.

I don’t understand. Do they mean Disneyland, Disneyworld, EuroDisney… or are they merely speaking figuratively?

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Date
20030814
Flash Games
Time
10:00
Pretend to be an old lady who likes crisps. It’s pretty boring, but at least it sucks.

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Date
20030814

Time
10:01
Malaysia to ban the cooking of food, the washing of clothes and the lighting of fires in public toilets. You will also be fined heavily if you fail to flush.

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Date
20030814

Time
10:03
Young, gifted and entrepreneurial? Up to £30,000 in grant money is up for grabs. Please form an orderly line behind me.

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Date
20030814
Tony Blair’s Email
Time
13:03
A little bloody recognition wouldn’t go astray. (Sits down to type angry email…)

BTW, Tony’s development team is running out of August. I sent a polite reminder by email this morning.

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Date
20030815
Flash Thingies
Time
09:02
Why voting for Ah-nold you should be doing. There’ll be quite a few of these in the coming weeks. Maybe even one from me.

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Date
20030815
Tony Blair’s Email
Time
09:03
Yet more media attention for Tim Yeo the campaign hijacker. Thankfully, most people who hear about him this way will search for his name in Google or Yahoo. The real story is only one step away, and here’s one blogger who took that short journey.

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Date
20030815
It’s War! And Somebody’s Telling Porkies!
Time
09:05
Won’t somebody pleeeeeeease think of the troops?

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Date
20030815

Time
09:09
Major power outage hits New York, other large cities. I can’t wait to see the first photo-blog from this.

UPDATE – Here’s more from the BBC and an interesting theory about the Great Northeast Blackout of November 9, 1965. Did anybody see any lights in the sky while they were out looting?

UPDATE 2 – Hooray for TTR2! They found this photo-blog of the blackout. Everybody appears to be having a wonderful time.

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Date
20030815
Flash Thingies
Time
09:10
Go ahead, just try to sleep at night after watching this.

Incidentally, I woke up this morning and found myself reaching for my blankie. Then it struck me – I was cold! Cold! Three hours later, and there’s still a cheery nip in the air. Oh blessed relief!

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Date
20030815

Time
09:13
500 Chilean tarantulas abandoned at Mexico City’s international airport. 135 are already dead, 20 have been donated to Chapultepec zoo. A local wildlife centre is taking care of the rest, but if you’re in the area and would like a potentially lethal pet, then drop by and see if you can adopt one.

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Date
20030815

Time
09:21
Cloning Yields Human-Rabbit Hybrid Embryo.

Pfizer’s stock will plummet as a result, you mark my words.

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Date
20030815

Time
09:24
Police reacting to noise complaint arrive to find naked man and woman covered in blood. He claimed to be making a porno film, but the officers failed to find any video equipment.

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Date
20030815

Time
09:26
Drop by the Retrolounge for a heady taste of yesteryear. Things were better in them days, yessiree Bob.

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Date
20030815
Follow Up
Time
09:28
Re: ‘Fair & Balanced’

People. Are. Funny.

I couldn’t resist. Front page tagline duly updated.

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Date
20030815

Time
09:30
Love Is Only Sleeping – Sleepy Jean’s ‘secret oasis of love and clairvoyant understanding.’ Offers art, poetry, information about her past lives, plus lots and lots of Monkee-love. I weep for poor Mike Nesmith. Can you imagine the fan mail he gets from this woman?

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Date
20030815

Time
09:41
Ahahahahahahaha! TV stations in California who broadcast any Arnold Schwarzenegger movies would have to allow other candidates equal time.

So, no Arnie movies to be shown in California until October 7th. Nice to see some good has come of this ridiculous charade.

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Date
20030815
Tony Blair’s Email
Time
15:06
The Torygraph, unsurprisingly, puts it down to Tory intervention. Silicon.com simply accepts that it’s on the way without asking themselves why.

I’m feeling decidedly unappreciated today. FFS, doesn’t anybody do research anymore?








Posted in Uncategorized | Comments Off on 01-15 August, 2003

18-31 July, 2003 (includes Blogathon 2003)

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Date
20030718

Time
09:20
Meet Saint Cloud’s own personal version of Superman. He doesn’t leap over tall buildings, but somewhere in his busy schedule, he does find time to stand on street corners and wave at passing traffic. Quite foolishly, he reveals his secret identity on the site, but because his flatmates Jim and Bern got angry about him publishing their phone number on the site, you can now only make contact (and enquires about possible romance) by email. Visit the photo gallery and leave a comment if you have the time. This man needs your support.

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Date
20030718
Photoshopping
Time
09:26
Fark competition: What would the world be like if everyone bought spammers’ products?

Also, Andy emailed and asked where I’ve hidden my page about photoshopping techniques.

Answer: the link keeps moving because it’s presented at the tail end of the ever-expanding Star Wars Photoshopping Project. I suppose I really should put a link at the front page of the general photoshopping gallery, but in the meantime you can find this semi-educational page by clicking here.

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Date
20030718

Time
09:33
The Elliott Avedon Museum and Archive of Games is a fantastic collection of games and game-related objects. I found the collection of board games based on TV shows the most enlightening. There’s even a M*A*S*H game. There are also a few blank spaces. If you have a unique board game lurking in your attic, the museum gratefully accepts donations.

In fact, I dimly recall buying a Jason Donovan dating board game of some sort a year or so back at a boot sale. I may just wrap it up and send it off to its ultimate destiny.

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Date
20030718
Go Figure
Time
09:41
Tatu are fighting over a boy and Drew Barrymore likes girls.

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Date
20030718

Time
09:43
Man fined for leaving 65 ducks and geese in a motel room. He was a hunter, so you know the story isn’t going to be as fun as it first seems.

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Date
20030718
It’s War! And Somebody’s Telling Porkies!
Time
09:56
FBI hassles/intimidates man for daring to read this ‘Weapons Of Mass Stupidity’ article in public.

You may want to take a look over your shoulder before reading this report on CIA Director George Tenet’s appearance before members of Congress. Or this one. Mind you, the assertions/admissions he makes conveniently absolve George Bush of everything but stupidity, so perhaps you should make the effort to read something more subversive.

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Date
20030718

Time
09:58
Man commits suicide after girlfriend falls in love with his online alter ego. Tim better watch out. I’ve had my eye on his wife for years…

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Date
20030718
Blogathon 2003 – Friday Feedback
Time
11:06
Blogathon 2003 – Friday Feedback

Our mystery donor is a new reader by the name of Mirjam.

She emailed me a while back, but I must admit to completely forgetting her name in the hustle and bustle of the last two weeks.

Mirjam doesn’t have a website (yet) and operates from an undisclosed location in the North Sea, so I’m going to ask you to instead send some positive vibes via the following sentence. Please concentrate on it as hard as you can and picture wonderful things happening to her:

Today, I want something magical to happen to Mirjam

Right, karma addressed, let’s get down to business…

Click here to sponsor me for the 2003 Blogathon!

Over the 24 hours of the Blogathon, I’ll be answering 48 questions from readers. I’m still quite a few questions short of the target.

Click here to submit a question by email!

To give you a taster, I’m going to answer a general question Rod sent in this morning:

Q: How do I develop a link format that will generate more traffic? Does this question even make sense?

A: That’s actually two questions, but I’ll let it slide just this once. A good example of a link generation tool is the quiz format (used by many bloggers and webmasters to promote their site).

This format was investigated in the early days of Bloggerheads with Which M*A*S*H Character Are You?

This quiz has reached approximately 100,000 individual visitors over the last year or more and is still being discovered by between 100-200 new visitors each and every day.

You may also note that the ‘cut and paste’ code format has been used on a number of campaigns here at Bloggerheads, from the overt request for link whorage as part of the Raging Cow campaign to the more subtle inclusion of the ‘cut and paste’ feature in the recent campaign to get senators blogging.

However – and here’s the tricky bit – you need to provide some pretty solid motivation for people to actually take the trouble to include such a link on their website. In fact, most of the inbound links to Bloggerheads or bits and bobs created here have managed to crop up without the aid of this small tool of convenience. Good examples being The Star Wars Photoshopping Project and JPEG Baby, which contain no referral mechanisms and simply earn inbound links on the strength of the content alone.

So, the link format itself is easy enough to create (the code is pretty common and easy-to-understand stuff), but what will really drive its success is the very content it is meant to drive traffic to.

Is it interesting? Is it original? Is it something people are going to want to share?

That should be your main focus.

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Date
20030718
It’s War! And Somebody’s Going To Pay!
Time
11:16
Earlier this week, Dr David Kelly denied being the BBC’s primary source regarding this governments sexing-up of the dodgy dossier. Yesterday, he went missing. Today, a body has been found.

I can’t do better than quote Mark on this:

“Gentlemen, start your conspiracy theories!”

UPDATE – Actually, this has now been topped by The Boozehound, who linked to this story with the following:

“COUGH*assasinated*COUGH”

I’ve instructed a few folks nearby to follow this link and refresh often, so they can watch this spread through the blogosphere. Linkage on Blogdex bears watching, too. It should top the chart within a few hours.

UPDATE – The image of Alastair the Assassin seems to have struck a chord. It’s front page at B3ta.com (precise link for archive purposes is here) and Wibbler has also been nice enough to give it a fully credited airing.

An hour after its creation, it’s also No.2 on the Lycos new release chart, just under this quite cool flash game: Gravity Ball.

Note to Piers Morgan: Ask me nicely. I may surprise you.

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Date
20030718

Time
13:01
I’m trying to keep mention of Tim Yeo to a minimum on this blog, because now the man has a weblog completely dedicated to him, there’s no point boring you with bits and bobs here day after day.

I would like to point out, however, that the Tim Yeo Weblog has now cracked the top sport for searches for ‘tim yeo’ in Google.

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Date
20030718

Time
14:47
More on Dr Kelly and the body that may or may not be his:

CNN | Guardian Timeline | Independent | Viewer views from Sky News

If the body is confirmed to be Dr Kelly’s, wouldn’t it be odd if the time of death was established as being sometime during Blair’s speech to Congress?

UPDATE – Kelly: Blair promises public inquiry from plane out of Washington. And (ahem) ‘Alastair Campbell, who usually travels with Mr Blair, is not on the plane.’

And… ‘A man may have died as a result of the government’s contempt for one of the cornerstones of democracy – a free and independent press.’

I wonder how much email Andrew ‘high court of parliament’ MacKinlay is getting today…

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Date
20030718

Time
16:17
One for the conspircay theorists: Eleven microbiologists mysteriously dead over the span of just five months. Possibly twelve.

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Date
20030718

Time
16:36
Today we have at least one visitor from the Australian Department of Agriculture, Fisheries and Forestry. Welcome.

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Date
20030718
Tony Blair’s Email – Not Long Now
Time
16:58
Remember those specifications I wrote up for a viable email facility for Tony Blair?

Well, take a look at what they’ve just introduced for George Bush:

http://www.whitehouse.gov/webmail

They’ve put a fair amount of filtering on the front end, and a few people are bitching about that (link requires registration), but I think the level of demand warrants it.

Still, with such a thing, there should be a facility that allows people to suggest a new subject/category, even if they don’t send an email.

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Date
20030718

Time
17:20
David Kelly: And herrrrrrrrrre comes the media!

Wibbler.com tells us that Jon Snow got a bit ahead of himself when he opened the afternoon news on Channel 4 with:

“MoD ‘mole’ missing – body found: Did he take his own life? Was he killed, did he die of a heart attack?”

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Date
20030719

Time
23:58
I was kind of expecting it, but this announcement really hit me like a ton of bricks. It’s the saddest I’ve felt for a person in a very long time.

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Date
20030720
A Blog Is Born
Time
00:02
It’s always interesting to happen across a blog just as it gets going. Especially one that links you favourably at its inception. You can’t help but wonder exactly what it is that you’ve started.

I’m not entirely sure where this one came from or where it’s going, but it does intrigue me.

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Date
20030721

Time
09:29
1am

Total blackout.

Torches aren’t easy to find, as some recent work on the kitchen cabinets means that nothing is where it is supposed to be.

I call directory enquiries:

“Directory enquiries, what name please?”

“Hello, we’ve got a bit of a blackout here. Is there a hotline number for Seeboard Energy?”

“Yes.”

“Could you possibly connect m*

click

“The. Number. Is. 0. 8. etc.”

I lay my hands on what I assume to be a pen and scribble down the number, deciding to worry later about what I’m actually writing on and whether or not I’ll be able to read the number when I eventually lay my hands on a torch. That done, I wait to get reconnected:

“Directory enquiries, what name please?”

“Hi. Lady, it’s pitch black here. I was lucky to find the telephone at all. Next time someone calls to ask for a hotline number during a blackout, and they ask to be connected, could you maybe connect them, please?”

“I’m sorry, sir, we can’t do that. But if you call…”

(Woman begins to rattle off long phone number as I hang up in disgust…)

Late night. Long night.

I’ll be on deck and blogging soon.

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Date
20030721
Riding High on Blogdex
Time
11:30
I was ejected from a plane for wearing “Suspected Terrorist” button.

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Date
20030721

Time
12:01
Another blackout. My site is served locally, so your mileage may vary today.

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Date
20030721
The Political Weblog Movement
Time
12:02
This Backbench bloggers article headed in the wrong direction the moment it referenced Howard Dean (who, despite having a pretty good story to tell, is not the best example of a blogging politician).

Still, it repeats a few good key points, so it is worth a look.

Also, the Yorkshire Post got all uppity about political blogs on the 17th. They suggested that instead of wasting time online, MPs should concentrate of more ‘genuine’ forms of direct communication. I’d link to the article, but there isn’t a copy online. Make of that what you will, or check out Richard Allan’s weblog for some comments on this.

Finally, with many folks running for cover and many more yelling to heard above the overwhelming din of media speculation surrounding the shocking death of Dr David Kelly, I’d just like to say that it’s refreshing to be able to read a personal reaction that hasn’t been reduced to a series of soundbites.

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Date
20030721

Time
12:03
Sign this. You’ll feel better.

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Date
20030721
Photoshopping
Time
12:03
I had a cracker of an idea for a Photoshopping project last night, just before the lights went out. I was watching one programme while listening to the soundtrack of another.

I’m going to poke around for source images today, but keep the theme under my hat until the weekend (I’d like to roll the majority of material out as part of this weekend’s Blogathon).

1. You’ll be happy to hear that it’s nothing to do with Star Wars

2. The more sponsorship I get, the more images I’ll produce.

I’ll probably drop a teaser sometime in the next few days. Watch this space.

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Date
20030721

Time
12:10
I’m still trying to work out what this is all about. Let’s see what they post today and go from there.

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Date
20030722

Time
09:11
I have a small technical problem with email at the mo. They’re coming in fine, but not all of them seem to be allowed to go out and play.

So, if you’ve emailed me recently and I haven’t answered – that’s probably why.

BTW, I still need more questions for the Blogathon this weekend. Ever wondered anything about Bloggerheads? Click here to ask.

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Date
20030722

Time
09:14
Judge places slum lord under house arrest – in her own dilapidated, vermin-infested building.

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Date
20030722

Time
09:15
BBC: Can blogs be truly mainstream? Some great reader comments at the tail. A highlight:

“The great thing about blogs is that anyone can set one up. The only problem is that anyone can set one up.”

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Date
20030722

Time
09:18
Are you a Transformers collector? Do your friends make fun of you? Do you have any friends? Worry ye not, for it has been declared that collecting Transformers is cool – just look at all the sexy babes that are into it.

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Date
20030722
Flash Music Video
Time
09:21
Shii’s song. Please try not to cry or throw heavy objects at your screen.

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Date
20030722

Time
09:22
Man arrives at DMV for driving test and crashes into building. His licence was immediately revoked.

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Date
20030722

Time
09:25
Take a closer look at the London Underground. The original map, the current map, and how the system really looks.

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Date
20030722

Time
09:27
More reactions to the new email system for George Bush. Hope this negative press doesn’t make the communications team at Downing St too jumpy. I’m looking forward to that promised August delivery date.

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Date
20030722
It’s War! And Things Is Getting Ridiculous!
Time
09:29
“I think all foreigners should stop interfering in the internal affairs of Iraq.” – U.S. Deputy Defense Secretary Paul Wolfowitz

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Date
20030722

Time
09:31
Man convicted of intimidation after mailing raccoon head to school principal.

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Date
20030722

Time
09:32
The best weblogs contain at least a small measure of personal expression. Here’s a jolly good example.

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Date
20030722
Riding High on Blogdex
Time
09:34
Bloggers Select The 20 Greatest Figures In American History. Actually, that should read ‘Right-Wing Nutbags Select The 20 Greatest Figures In American History.’

Patton’s in there, and Ronald Reagan ties for 1st place.

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Date
20030722
Christianity Watch
Time
09:51
You may remember me mentioning my rather eclectic religious upbringing. One part of this was growing up opposite a Baptist church. Convenient for Sunday School but boy, did they lay it on thick.

It was a very conservative church (they used Ribena for communion), but they had a kid’s corner that was well-stocked with religious comic books. Most of all, I remember the Christian Archie comics, but there were also comic versions of books like ‘The Cross and the Switchblade’ (featured the all-time best comic book cover speech bubbles of all time):

“I could cut you up right now, preacher!”

“Yes you could, Johnny, and every piece of me would still love you…”

This collection is far from comprehensive, but when it does feature a book, it features the entire book (in PDF format). Quite heavy on the bandwidth, but if you have the time and capacity you should check out at least one of these.

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Date
20030722
Follow Up
Time
09:54
Search for ‘chilham sports cars’ in Google and chilhamsportscars.com (see archived entry for last Thursday) is in the top spot. Now we watch and wait for the fur to start flying, I suppose.

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Date
20030722
It’s War! And Somebody’s Telling Porkies!
Time
09:56
Recently declassified intelligence report from Oct 2002 says defeated Hussein would be a threat.

“Saddam, if sufficiently desperate, might decide that only an organization such as al Qaeda, . . . already engaged in a life-or-death struggle against the United States, could perpetrate the type of terrorist attack that he would hope to conduct,” reads one passage.

Let’s pretend for a moment that Iraq did indeed have WMDs.

1. Why didn’t he use them?

2. Where did they go?

Oops.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030722

Time
10:04
In reaction to the “What Would Jesus Drive?” campaign, a pro-SUV group is launching its own ads celebrating plus-size vehicles. Basically, they’ve found a large and reasonably photogenic man by the name of Jesus. Dear Lord, give me strength…

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Date
20030722
Video
Time
10:08
Normally I shy away from overtly commercial work, but this mickey-take of the Honda commercial earns a laugh.

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Date
20030722
Photoshopping
Time
12:13
“Attention! All personnel!”

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Date
20030723

Time
09:10
Test your psychic powers.

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Date
20030723

Time
09:10
Enjoy some really bad book covers.

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Date
20030723

Time
09:14
These scratchy, distorted screen captures from M*A*SH seem to have been grabbed from film, but they’re worth seeing just for that top image of Hawkeye waking up from a nightmare. Klinger praying is a cracker, too. Hell, it’s almost art.

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Date
20030723
Riding High on Blogdex
Time
09:16
No. 1: Saddam’s killed in northern city of Mosul. A similar item from Fox News snuggles in at No. 2

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Date
20030723
It’s War! And Somebody’s Telling Porkies!
Time
09:20
The BBC has a tape of scientist Dr David Kelly expressing concern about the way Iraq weapons intelligence was presented. Here’s hoping the inquiry is allowed to follow its obvious and natural course.

Alos caught on tape… these Democrats talking about prolonging California’s budget crisis for political gain. There’s quite a busy thread over at Fark about this if you’re up for it.

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Date
20030723

Time
09:25
Amazon has a bold new plan to digitise “tens of thousands” non-fiction books and make the text searchable (requires registration). Looking for that elusive passage or quote? Here’s the result, courtesy of Amazon. Now, how many copies would you like? Shades of IMDB there, here’s hoping they can carry it off.

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Date
20030723
Christianity Watch
Time
09:30
Have you ever wanted to tell someone about Jesus but just didn’t know where to begin? Why not share the gospel of Jesus through surveys?

The survey they provide really puts its best foot forward. First question:

1. Do you believe that abortion is acceptable?

(A) Yes (B) No

However, it does contain a great question to use down at the pub:

10. Name two people who walked on water in the Bible.

I must admit to forgetting that Peter popped out for a quick stroll as well.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030723

Time
09:37
Couple accused of abuse after driving 20 miles with two boys in the trunk/boot.

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Date
20030723
Only Interesting to Bloggers
Time
09:39
The Dallas Morning News has launched a group blog for the editorial board.

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Date
20030723
Blogathon 2003
Time
09:42
Thanks go to princess erin the mighty for her kind sponsorship. The wonderful princess erin was an early and effective activist during The ‘Out Of Order’ Project. She was the one who marked the office stationary cupboard ‘out of order.’ Sheer genius.

If you haven’t done so already, click here to sponsor Bloggerheads in the 2003 Blogathon.

From 2pm GMT on Saturday, I’ll be rolling out 24 hours of glorious photoshopping (on a theme that is currently highly classified) and answering (hopefully) 48 questions about me, Bloggerheads, or stuff that’s been done here over the last year or so. I’m still short of questions, so if you’ve ever wondered anything about Bloggerheads, click here to email me your query today.

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Date
20030724
In The Courts
Time
09:00
Man accused of killing his wife by stabbing her 43 times claims it was self-defence. O-kay…

Porn case film sends juror to sleep. The judge has declared a second mistrial on the case, but perhaps he’s just looking for an excuse to play the film again…

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Date
20030724

Time
09:04
Cartoon of Bush with gun to his head investigated as a possible threat. Relax, the bullet is sure to pass from one side to the other without hitting anything vital.

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Date
20030724

Time
09:07
Scientists are developing a mind-controlled wheelchair. Where’s my silver jumpsuit and flying car? I wish these guys would get their priorities sorted.

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Date
20030724

Time
09:09
Psychic fails to detect undercover investigator. The investigation was started after a woman complained that she had been diddled out of $20,000 in cash and gifts.

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Date
20030724

Time
09:11
Deep links are legal in Germany.

While we’re poking around El Reg, this is kind of related:

Here’s someone else expressing doubts about the influence of bloggers. I think he’ll find his results are pretty temporary. Unless everyone starts talking about it, of course…

The playing field will level out when businesses (finally) realise that this is a two-way communications channel and merely speaking to us like human beings can significantly improve their standing in Google.

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Date
20030724

Time
09:17
Young, single and gifted? Why waste your time consorting and breeding with the lower castes when goodgenes.com stands ready to match you with a partner of equal standing?

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Date
20030724

Time
09:20
Man drives 30km holding almost severed head in place. Would have been great if he’d been pulled over…

While we’re on the roads, read about the man who died by getting run over by a van and then suffering a crash when that same van was driving him to hospital.

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Date
20030724

Time
09:22
Man dies, taking vital network passwords to the grave. This has happened before, and I’m sure I blogged it.

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Date
20030724

Time
09:29
Michael Jackson says that illegal downloaders should not face jail and this female Michael Jackson impersonator looks like Donny Osmond.

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Date
20030724

Time
09:32
Today is National Shopping Day here in the UK. The Guardian’s come on board with this write up, and I’m currently doing by best to deal with the choice of Melinda Messenger as the poster child for this shop-a-thon. Still:

1. The campaign isn’t aimed at hardcore cynics like me, it’s meant to reach the frightened bunnies that regard the beige monster in the corner with a mixture of suspicion and fear.

2. At least Carol Vorderman isn’t involved.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030724
Blogathon 2003
Time
09:39
A mysterious being known as Penfold74 has kindly joined my list of sponsors. Thank you!

Get your questions in for the Blogathon! (Ask anything you’ve ever wondered about me or Bloggerheads.)

Sponsor me for the Blogathon!

I’ll be watching The Swamp very closely during the Blogathon, for reasons I’m sure you are beginning to suspect.

Oh, thanks to ickle for the rather dodgy photoshop. Close, but no banana, sorry.

You wait until you see this new theme. Yes, M*A*S*H is involved, but I’ve added a new twist to make the work truly, truly wondrous. It will blow your mind.

You’ll smile, you’ll laugh, you’ll swallow. I guarantee it.

Finally, if you’re in two minds about sponsoring me, may I suggest that you don’t? Tom Watson is doing something much more interesting and worthwhile on the day, so you should probably throw a few bucks his way instead.

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Date
20030725
Riding High on Blogdex
Time
08:53
‘Blogs’ shake the political discourse. I got a heads-up about this yesterday from Wibbler, too.

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Date
20030725

Time
08:55
And you thought Raging Cow was, like, totally extreme? Hah! Nobody does flavoured milk promotion like the Latvians. Check out Crazy Milk. Erm, to the max. Or something.

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Date
20030725

Time
08:59
Martin’s had a rough day, but he still takes the time to make me blush. What a sweetie.

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Date
20030725
It’s War! And Somebody’s Telling Porkies!
Time
09:00
Bill Clinton on Bush Iraq/uranium claim:

“You know, everybody makes mistakes when they are president.”

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Date
20030725

Time
09:03
Miss Norway sent to wrong city – in wrong country – for Miss Universe final.

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Date
20030725

Time
09:07
Shaving Industry Lies claims that women’s razor’s are sharper than mens, and even goes so far as to suggest how you can make such a razor seem more butch. (So you can use one without people laughing at you. In your bathroom.) Attaching plastic army figures seems like a good start, but perhaps you can do better.

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Date
20030725
Flash Thingies
Time
09:10
Music: You’re cracking my eggs!

Games: Clay KItten Shooting

Enjoy.

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Date
20030725

Time
09:12
The Guardian explores the global mind. I’m a big believer in global consciousness. I even have an insane notion that Jerusalem is (or was) some form of magnetic pole for this kind of activity.

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Date
20030725
‘Is That Real?’ Etc.
Time
09:16
Mormons! Quality and value await at missionarymall.org! Suits, ties, and accessories galore! (Note: they don’t sell bikes online, but there is a competition that gives you a chance to win one…)

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Date
20030725

Time
09:20
Man charged with petty larceny after stealing pizza, chicken and hot dogs from sister’s freezer.

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Date
20030725

Time
09:33
Ahahahahahahahaha!

The political diarist at The Guardian fell for it. The Mirror fell for it. The Financial Times was also sucked in (and even managed to get the URL wrong along the way). The BBC almost fell for it, but I wasn’t expecting this…

Someone at Private Eye has seen Tom’s Teens page (presumably sometime before we added the commentary at the bottom of the page to help the addled of mind or slow of wit) and fallen for it hook, line, sinker, rod and copy of Angling Times.

One for the scrapbook. Like many other print publications, they’ve also quoted the page in full (without permission).

Right now, I’m wondering if I should write up my first letter to Private Eye – or my first invoice.

UPDATE – Oh, you may also wish to do a quick search for ‘teens politics’ in Google.

UPDATE 2 – Here’s the reaction to this over at B3ta.

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Date
20030725
Blogathon 2003
Time
09:48
Scott has been kind enough to chip in with a donation, as has one of my government informants, who wishes to remain anonymous. Another chap has emailed wondering if he can make an anonymous donation. Easy enough to do. When you sign up to donate via the link below, you’ll be presented with the option to remain anonymous if you wish:

Sponsor Bloggerheads in the 2003 Blogathon!

Looking at my Blogathon folder, I see 14 emails waiting for me. Unless they contain emails with multiple questions (I’m not letting myself look until tomorrow) we seem well short of the target of 48 questions.

Submit a question to be answered during the Blogathon!

Anything you like, really. Something you’ve wondering about Bloggerheads, about me, or about anything that’s been built and featured here.

Apart from the (hopefully) long list of questions answered, there will also be a total of 12 photoshops on a central theme scattered across the 24 hours of bloggage.

The front page will get too heavy if I start throwing images up as well as a lot of text, so said photoshops will be featured over at the B3ta messageboard with direct links to each thread posted here for easy access.

OK, that’s it. See you tomorrow, 6am Pacific Time, 2pm GMT.

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Date
20030725
Follow Up
Time
14:39
I blogged a while back that Star Wars Kid had a law suit in the offing, and this link about it at the BBC is all over the place today. A pity the BBC couldn’t be arsed to provide a link to the original article, though.

The four teenagers named in the suit are Michaël Caron, François Labarre, Jérôme Laflamme and Jean-Michel Rheault.

I’m not going to spend the rest of the afternoon hunting them down, but I did find this Jérôme Laflamme, who lives in Charlesbourg (not far from the home town of Star Wars Kid). Unless Jérôme Laflamme is the French equivalent of John Smith, it looks like a pretty fair bet.

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Date
20030725

Time
14:57
Coca-Cola in India accused of leaving farms parched and land poisoned.

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Date
20030726
FAQ: How to you keep up with the fresh info?
Time
13:56
If you take a look over to your left, you’ll see links to a range of communities, weblogs, weblog aggregators, and link/info portals. I start each and every morning by clicking down my navigation bar and opening each and every one of these in a new window. I’ll then view and blog from these sites pretty much anything that I think regulars would be interested in. If I’m feeling keen, I’ll scan lower down the Blogdex charts to see if anything new is climbing. Technorati gives me a nice snapshot of who’s linking to me on any given day, and this is proving to be a valuable source of fresh links. (Blogs that show an interest in me also show an interest in things than I’m interested in. Interesting, no?)

Cruising the B3ta messageboard always brings up few titbits here and there, as does the usual image surfing that goes into photoshopping. I primarily use Google Image Search for this kind of thing, and because I’m seeking out a specific image or type of image, I’ll dig much deeper into the results than I would with a standard text search. This brings up some wonderfully random sites sometimes.

Finally, people who don’t have weblogs or sites of their own send me email if they discover something new or exciting and want to share the discovery.

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Date
20030726
The 4007th Project – Image #1
Time
14:00
OK, here’s the first image, as promised. The theme came to me when I was listening to The David Arnold Project and (kind of) watching M*A*S*H.

There’ll be one Bond/M*A*S*H mix-up posted here each hour on the hour until sometime around 1am GMT. After this, we’ll just have to see what comes to me in my addled state.

I don’t want to make the front page too heavy, so sometimes a link will feature instead of the image.

Click here to see a large version of this image over at B3ta.

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Date
20030726
FAQ: Who will you vote for at the next election?
Time
14:25
Hehehe – I bet you can all guess who asked this question.

My local MP is doing a great job, and has even taken the time to ask a question in parliament on my behalf. Her name is Sue Doughty, and she can pretty much count on my vote at the next election.

I would think, however, that in my particular case politicians should be more concerned about which member or party campaign I work for. Or against. (Tim Yeo, I’m looking in your direction…)

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030726
FAQ: How can I search the archives?
Time
15:04
You can’t. Sorry about that. I like this format, as it automatically hides my archives from Google (‘Thou shalt not pollute or corrupt search engines’). I’ve been thinking for a while about converting to Movable Type (and hiding the archives with noindex/nofollow tags) but it would take at least 6-8 solid weeks to migrate the old archives to the new system.

Perhaps if I win the lottery tonight, I’ll take those 6-8 weeks off work, or hire a few monkeys with typing experience.

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Date
20030726
The 4007th Project – Image #2
Time
15:05
He has a thriving practice in Fort Wayne… and a fish tank worth One! Million! Dollars!

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Date
20030726
FAQ: What is the point? It is the most totally pointless experience I have ever seen!
Time
15:20
You’ve just answered your own question. Thanks. Now I have time to eat a late lunch.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030726
FAQ: What do you read?
Time
16:02
Apart from lots and lots websites, you mean?

I read Private Eye and The Week without fail. I get The Guardian delivered on Mondays and Thursdays (mostly for the New Media and Online sections) and I read The Independent over breakfast on Saturdays and Sundays.

Books are harder to nail down, because I read all sorts of garbage. My favourite author would have to be Douglas Adams. My favourite book is Nineteen Eighty Four by George Orwell.

I don’t sleep well if I drop off reading a book, so I usually read graphic novels when I’m in bed. Batman, Sandman, etc.

From Hell is the best graphic novel I’ve read in the last year, but my favourite remains The Dark Knight Returns.

Oh, and I’m not at all ashamed to admit that I still enjoy Viz, but only because it’s suitably (and increasingly) expensive.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030726
The 4007th Project – Image #3
Time
16:04
“Are you looking for casualties?”

“No. I’m just looking.”

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Date
20030726
FAQ: OK, so who really did sing Underneath The Mango Tree in Dr No?
Time
16:22
Monica Van der Syl did the voice dubs for Ursula Andress, but the singing was done by Diana Coupland (see: Bless This House). Oh, and the soundtrack released in 1962 actually features Connery have a crack at this same song.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030726
FAQ: Do you still get email for Tony Blair?
Time
16:51
Yes.

The volume has decreased greatly since the campaign started, but a few people still slip through the net each day. Oh, and some Russian dipweed has this address on a spamming list.

Here are two emails addressed to Tony Blair that arrived yesterday:

From: Esther Ku

Subject: Please leave Isreal allone.

Body: We strongly demand that Israel be allowed to determine her destiny without foreign design forcing its hand.

From: Jafar Seraj

Subject: I will do anything for in iran!!!!!!!!

Body: I am an 18 years old boy from shiraz-iran. Living in iran is very hard. Our family is under pessure and we need about 40000$. I also like to come to you & join to you & be one of your good men. Can you help me ?. I need money very much if you can pay me I will give you an account number. I am looking forward for your agree answer.

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Date
20030726
The 4007th Project – Image #4
Time
16:54
“Flattery will get you nowhere… but don’t stop trying!”

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Date
20030726
FAQ: Do you live off your books?
Time
17:30
Ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha*(breeeeeeeeeeeeeathe)*ahahahahahahahaha!

Erm, no. I make my money just like everyone else in new media – through amateur pornography.

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Date
20030726
FAQ: Where’s this novel you keep promising us?
Time
17:53
Heh. I knew someone would ask about this.

Still in my head, I’m sad to say. Every character, every set piece and the path of the plot that sews them together has been bouncing around up there for months now. I did get some writing done on my recent Dead Blog Holiday, but I haven’t done a heck of a lot since then.

UPDATE – Just poked my nose out into the hall, and yes, the laptop I use for this does have a thin layer of dust on it. Why the laptop? Well, I know that if I sit down at this computer and start on it, then nothing else will get done until it’s finished. And I need to eat.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030726
The 4007th Project – Image #5
Time
18:04
BJ Bond.

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Date
20030726
FAQ: Who is your favourite gay icon?
Time
18:26
That’s an interesting question. I wonder if it relates to my correspondence with Cherie Blair

Hmm, let me see… I’m tempted to name Harry Potter or Bob The Builder, but as a considerable amount of courage is required to express a taste for anything but vanilla, I’ll have to pick the one man brave enough to walk off the job and express his desire to become a lumberjack!

PS – Thanks to TTR2 for the sponsorship boost that just came through.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030726
FAQ: What… is your favourite colour?
Time
18:54
Heh. Cute. And it is blue.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030726
The 4007th Project – Image #6
Time
18:54
BJ vs. Jaws

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Date
20030726
FAQ: What music do you listen to?
Time
19:25
I like a lot of older Australasian bands because I’m an older Australasian.

Australian Crawl, Cold Chisel, Mental as Anything and Split Enz are some perennial favourites. I don’t think I’d be able to name one favourite song, but if I could it would probably be one of the following:

Razor’s Edge – Goanna

When The War Is Over – Cold Chisel

I’m Gonna Release Your Soul – Dave Graney

You Gotta Know – Supergroove

Mountain – Chocolate Starfish

An American Trilogy – Elvis Presley

Beyond the Blue Horizon – Michael Nesmith

On Earth As It Is In Heaven – Ennio Morricone

In the last half-hour, the two songs I enjoyed the most were, Don’t Stop Believing and Science Fiction Double Feature.

The most promising unsigned artists I know of are Anthony Snape and the irrepressible Koit.

Enough?

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Date
20030726
FAQ: Does Tim Yeo know you exist?
Time
19:52
Yes. In fact, even if he hadn’t been spotted peeking at the Tim Yeo Weblog by a number of spies inside parliament, there’s still the small matter of naughty images being circulated by his colleagues on a regular basis. He’s just a stubborn cuss is all. He’ll probably apologise when he realises that I mean what I say about stalking him right up until the next election. And beyond. This ain’t over yet.

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Date
20030726
The 4007th Project – Image #7
Time
19:56
“The name’s Pearce. Hawkeye Pearce.”

Click here to see the mightily big version over at B3ta.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030726
FAQ: Daddy or chips?
Time
20:30
Chips are The Daddy!

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Date
20030726
FAQ: Who would you like to spend 8 weeks with in the Big Brother house? (You can have up to 6 others.)
Time
20:58
Oooh, can I? Thanks ever so much:

Willie Aames

Jack T. Chick

Kenneth Copeland

David Icke

and

Kristin Johnson (just in case)

Final choice would be a toss-up between Chris Morris and Mark Thomas.

Are you sure I can’t have seven?

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Date
20030726
The 4007th Project – Image #8
Time
21:00
“He did what to the Aston Martin?”

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Date
20030726

Time
21:28
FAQ: Is Mrs Ireland buying “but it’s for charity, dear” as an excuse for spending 24 hours in front of the ‘puter?

“I was, before all of the rubbish with getting three noisy, rowdy children in to bed rapidly changed my mind!!!!!!! Now, I’m not so sure…”

Mrs Ireland

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Date
20030726

Time
21:38
Well, isn’t this a suprise?

Naked women safari hunt ‘was hoax’

Michael Burdick was the man behind it, and now the Mayor of Las Vegas wants his butt in a sling.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030726
FAQ: You’ve mentioned in the past that you used to be a DJ. Did you have some of those lights that flashed in time with the music?
Time
21:58
What, you mean like this? Heh. Yes, I did. And when you dropped one of these in 1989, it cost $24 just to replace the bulbs.

I carried around the standard kit for about two years on weekends (I seemed to spend forever doing weddings at The Sebel Town House). On weekdays, I got to go out and play with a 2000W sound system, complete with a massive lighting rig (par cans, giant mirror ball, alligator, helicopters, scanners and strobes, all hooked up on 18 feet of lightweight truss) and a huge video screen. A pity it mostly went to waste on school kids requesting Milli Vanilli.

Once I hit nightclubs, I usually had a light rig big enough warrant an assistant (altogether now – wooooooooooo) but my main weakness was for screens, because I mostly played music video.

The best club I ever worked in was Dave’s Place in Taren Point, NSW. A fun, no-hang-ups crowd, great staff, all the beer and/or XLR8 I could drink… and TV screens as faaaaar as the eye could see.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030726
The 4007th Project – Image #9
Time
22:00
“No, Mr Pearce. I expect you to die!”

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Date
20030726
FAQ: Do you think you’ll make the full 24 hours?
Time
22:27
That’s a very good question. Just one post every half-hour takes a lot of keeping up. Thank Dog I did most of my images collation for the 4007th Project ahead of time, or I’d be a complete wreck and 12 posts behind by now.

Image-surfing takes a lot of time on a modem, so I’m not sure how much photoshopping there’s going to be after 1am (when I run out of source images). Added to this, my FTP access does have a tendency to drop out on Sundays, it’s going to very much be a case of ‘wait and see.’

Hm.

I think that – if I do make it – it’s going to have to be with much shorter answers.

I’m also a little worried about that time beyond the wee small hours. I always get a bit manic when the only thing holding me up is adrenalin.

(Hey, how about that? You get two answers for the price of one here!)

FAQ: How did you get the nickname ‘Manic’…?

See above.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030726
FAQ: What gave you the idea for starting Bloggerheads?
Time
23:01
Nothing, really. The technology was there to better do what I normally did (boy, it is getting late, isn’t it?), so I grabbed it.

Before this I pumped acres of stuff into Usenet, ran a newsletter for another.com (tell you what, the first person who sends me a copy of a genuine another.com newsletter by Evil Tim wins a free book) and then did reporting on stuff that was buzzing about for Zingin.com (which has since given birth to The Friday Thing.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030726
The 4007th Project – Image #10
Time
23:04
“Look up! Look Down! Look Out!

Click here to see the big one at B3ta.

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Date
20030726
FAQ: What was your first attempt at viral marketing, and did it work or just show you what NOT to do?
Time
23:33
Offline, my first attempt was when I was about 12. I took rolls of those small yellow ‘dot’ stickers and cut wedges out of each one until I had strips and strips of miniature Pac-man stickers for distribution. I had most of the kids in my class wearing them for about a week – then it was back to the beatings.

Online, I’m not entirely sure. But this page from 1998 is still live and doing good work. As you can probably tell, I had yet to discover the wonders of Photoshop (or even anti-aliasing, for that matter).

Given time, I may be able to fire up the old beast and rustle up a screengrab of my first-ever site. In fact, I’ll do this the moment I get a new sponsor on board.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030727
FAQ: How many people read your site every day?
Time
00:01
On a good day, I reach about 1,000 people before breakfast. At slower times, it takes me most of the day to reach this many people.

There are about 200 regular readers (people who come back each and every day). Today, 167 of them have showed up.

I did a major traffic rundown on my first blog birthday, and I’ll probably repeat it again this year.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030727
The 4007th Project – Image #11
Time
00:02
“As you can see, I’m going to inaugurate a little war.”

Click here to see a massive version at B3ta.

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Date
20030727
FAQ: Are you running out of questions yet?
Time
00:30
Yes. I may have to start talking to myself soon – or scanning through some of Tony’s mail for a few.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030727
FAQ: Where do you stand on file sharing, e.g. people downloading music without paying for it?
Time
01:02
I want to send a copy of Bohemian Like You by the Dandy Warhols to a musician who hasn’t heard it. I can and will do it by MP3. I paid for the CD, and the file is being exchanged for reference purposes only because…

I want to do a parody of the track. I’d be producing something genuinely transformative that comments on the original work/artist. I can and would do that.

However…

Just as I wouldn’t want that resulting work lifted then distributed without my consent, I wouldn’t do this same thing to another artist.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030727
The 4007th Project – Image #12
Time
01:04
Here’s the last of the 4007th photoshops:

“Goodbye, Farewell and Etc.”

Big one’s over at B3ta.

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Date
20030727
FAQ: Where did the tortoise / military helmet come from?
Time
01:25
It’s a turtle, not a tortoise. There used to be a peaceful, swimming turtly stamp thing up there, but I sourced a tougher turtle and slapped the Full Metal Jacket ‘Born To Blog’ helmet on there when I started getting more militant. I’ve been thinking about phasing it out and making an overdue return to fluffiness, but:

1. I need to raise about $100 to pay the photographer of the picture I really, really want and I’ve been well-short of silly money lately.

2. There’s still quite a lot to be angry about.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030727
FAQ: Are you drunk yet?
Time
01:33
I am getting there, but I have to pace myself for obvious reashons.

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Date
20030727
FAQ: Every Aussie I know is able to drink like a fish the night before and be fine, nay, *better* than normal in the morning. How *do* you buggers do it?
Time
01:44
We understand the value of the occasional glass of water.

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Date
20030727
FAQ: Who is the most famous person you ever met?
Time
01:56
Chris Evans who, interestingly, lives just a few miles from my place.

Like to meet? I’d love to spend an hour or so in the pub with Richard O’Brien who, annoyingly, also lives just a few miles from my place. (I see him around from time to time, but I don’t want to be one of those nutbags who waves down celebrities in the street and invites them out for a drink.)

UPDATE – I sneaked past a couple of guards at the Highland Games in 1980 and got within spitting distance of the Queen. Sadly, this doen’t count, as I didn’t have the presence of mind to do any actual spitting while I was there.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030727
FAQ: British summer or Australian winter?
Time
02:27
I’d take the British summer, winter and anything in between this climate can throw at me in preference to the uncomfortable extremes in Australia. OK, so the sky has more personality at sunset, but there are nights you can’t sleep and days when it’s not safe to go out between 9am and 2pm without 15+ sunblock. And a shirt. And a big hat. Under an asbestos-lined golf umbrella.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030727
FAQ: Which historical figure would have had the best weblog? What would have been on it?
Time
02:57

1. Martin Luther. Uncomfortable truths.

2. Benjamin Franklin. All kinds of loony/great/productive stuff

3. Oscar Wilde. At least twelve policemen. Every single day. Just waiting…

(This question’s from Paul Carr, who launched this awesome blog without telling me about it. It’ll probably go straight onto the navbar when I have sufficient wits about me to dig into code.)

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Date
20030727
FAQ: Do you play a musical instrument?
Time
03:31
No. I’ve tried to pick up a guitar a few times, but every time I do my hands transform into unwieldy claws. It’s not a pretty sight.

I used to play the trombone in the school band, but spent most of my time copying everyone else’s slide movements. To this day, music still looks like a foreign language to me.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030727
FAQ: If you were offered a job working for Lego would you take it even if it meant moving to Denmark (or wherever the head office is)?
Time
03:58
Actually, they have a big office in Slough… but I’d probably move to Denmark before I’d move to Slough.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030727
FAQ: How many cups of coffee have you had so far, and how many do you think you will have had by 2pm tomorrow?
Time
04:29
I’m just about to have my first (I’ve been keeping it in reserve). Probably ‘lots,’ give or take ‘a few.’

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030727
FAQ: If you could invite anyone to your dinner party (dead or alive) who would it be and why?
Time
05:01
Jamie Oliver. Dead. I’d want to prop him up in the corner as a conversation piece – and to keep the flies away from the table.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030727

Time
05:15
I’m finally starting to flag after 15+ hours in front of the screen. This isn’t helping matters.

I’ve just run out of questions again, too.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030727
FAQ: Which part of Australia are you from and why did you leave?
Time
05:42
Sydney.

My wife’s English, and we’d talked for a long time about living there for a bit then living here for a bit (when the time was right). The time was right one afternoon when we were living in the Blue Mountains and I’d just left a TV production job. To get any other job in the same industry, we’d have to move much closer to the city. So we moved here instead.

Apart from the growing social injustice and the extortionate cost of living, I quite like it here.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030727

Time
06:02
The more I think about it, the more it makes sense.

The perfect choice for the empty fourth plinth is George Orwell.

UPDATE – Or maybe a great big American eagle that fires live ammunition out its arse at random intervals.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030727
FAQ: Why don’t you have an RSS feed?
Time
06:11
Because I’m old and I fear technology. (Actually, I’ve filed this under the never-never zone of an MT upgrade…)

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030727

Time
06:18
The sun’s coming up. It shouldn’t have bothered. It’s a grey and dreary day. Second wind should be kicking in any time now.

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Date
20030727
FAQ: How do most people find Bloggerheads?
Time
06:25
Most new traffic comes from stuff like the M*A*S*H Quiz, the Star Wars Photoshopping Project and JPEG Baby (currently #23 in Google for ‘love song’).

There are also quite a few people who arrive by following credit or static links from other sites or weblogs.

About 20% of traffic comes in via searches for things like Tony Blair’s email address, mustard man, photoshopping, Star Wars, and how to make money by starting a porn site (see: The Porn Report).

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030727

Time
06:39
OK, on to more important matters. Cherie singing When I’m 64how did the experts rate her performance?

Actually, did you notice that on the day of the million-strong march in London, Tony was pictured jamming on an electric guitar?

I’m starting to detect a pattern here. In fact, the moment posters go up announcing a West End booking for these two I plan to start stocking up on canned food.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030727

Time
07:01
Descriptive text that does this story justice? You’ll be lucky.

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Date
20030727

Time
07:24
Find out how to baptise someone in an emergency.

Book Mimeistry for your next function, and spread the gospel to your friends and co-workers through the international language of mime.

“…and here you can see Joshua trapped inside a box, much like we all feel trapped in this modern world. Now Joshua is walking against the winds of ignorance, and yes, yes, children I think we’re about to see something very special now – and there it is! Only three people in the world can perform this very difficult manoeuvre, but you can go home and tell your parents that today you saw ‘Jesus on a rubber cross’ performed before your very eyes.”

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Date
20030727

Time
07:28
I can’t slee-eep at ni-ight,

Keep seeing men all dressed in white.

And they won’t let my girlfriend talk to me…

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030727

Time
07:50
This A-Team in Star Wars strip hurts my brain, but I cannot look away.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030727
The ‘Out of Order’ Project
Time
08:46
Can anyone tell me when the last episode of the latest series of friend was recorded? For instance, was it any time after this was cut loose in March?

Normally I wouldn’t jump on a shot as long as this but:

1. The timing seems to be on the money.

2. I’m feeling a rather strange right now.

3. Everything that happens or appears in shot is a sitcom happens or appears for a reason (e.g. it only ever snows when somebody gets snowed in – or when it’s Christmas) and the broken-down pinball machine wasn’t used or referenced at all. It just appeared prominently in shot. Eight times.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030727
Riding High on Blogdex
Time
08:59
Two brilliantly subversive ideas for you to enjoy: Son of Napster and the Corporate Fallout Detector.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030727

Time
09:15
Hm. Only 5 hours to go. I may just make it. I’d need some of the folks just waking up to send in some more bloody questions, though.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030727

Time
09:35
Going shopping? See a wholesaler! An extra 20,000 pairs of Nikes never goes astray, and wouldn’t you just hate to wake up one morning and find yourself down to your last drum of Chlormadinone Acetate CP95? Buy now. Buy big!

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Date
20030727

Time
09:45
Try saying Christian Truckers Connection three times really fast, then read the story of the truck driver who thought Jesus was a sissy until a fateful meeting at a roadside diner. It’s Sunday morning. The third wave just kicked in.

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Date
20030727

Time
09:51
Remember now, it’s red poppies for those who suffered and died at war, and black poppies for those who suffered and died in involuntary government-backed zero-trace-evidence experimentation. Tinfoil beanies on, people!

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030727
FAQ: What’s your best cure for a hangover?
Time
10:05
Orange juice and Vegemite on toast (gentle on the stomach and gives a dual boost of easily digestible sugar and vitamin B12). Ask any Australian about this, and they will tell you that I speak the truth.

Then, you’ll need lots of cold, cold water. And a dark, dark room to hide in. And about 6 more hours of sleep.

Soaking your head in cold water (or using one of those ice packs you only ever see on TV) does wonders for a swollen brain. A toxin-driven hangover will require not one, but two showers. With a Full English Breakfast in between.

FACT: The worst place in the world to wake up with a tequila hangover is a tent in the middle of nowhere on a hot day.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030727
FAQ: Thanks for pointing me towards the spiffy Hanging Day blog. Which other blogs do you regularly read?
Time
10:23
If I read it every day, it’s on my nav bar. Apart from that, I just follow my nose.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030727

Time
11:11
Are you Rapture Ready? You could be called to heaven at any time, so it pays to keep an eye on the news for signs of the end times. This way, you can make sure that you’re wearing clean underwear on high-risk days.

UPDATE – Actually, that’s not a bad idea. Little colour-code warning buttons just like the terror alert system (here’s a far superior version), but designed to inform the faithful of their likelood to be called home by Jesus on any given day. Run it deadpan, get a good list of sign ups, then cut loose with a code red telling them that the boss is here and they’d better start looking busy.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030727
Riding High on Blogdex
Time
11:42
Take a look at George Bush desecrating the U.S. flag.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030727

Time
12:05
Two hours to go, and Tom’s still kicking. That coffee I made myself at about 3 or 4 in the morning went cold as I was typing and surfing. I made do with a Red Bull instead.

So, here I am with the most indepth information and mindless perversion known to man at my fingertips. And I’m bored.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030727

Time
12:39
“What’s that, Skip? Sonny’s trapped where?”

UPDATE – Cool, I see swirly bathroom-tile patterns when I close my eyes.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030727

Time
13:02
One hour to go and – quite a bit later than everybody else – I finally discover Firda’s Will Your Survive the Blogathon? quiz. Apparently I stand a 70% chance of making it through the next hour.

Right now, I’m busy planning my approach.

My bed is cleared and there’s plenty of hot water available for a shower. I’ve just scoffed down a healthy (but not too heavy) lunch and I have one fresh question in my Inbox for the second-to-last post.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030727
FAQ: What superpower would you like to have (and what would your super hero/villain name be)?
Time
13:24
Oh, nothing fancy – just simple telekinesis would do.

I don’t think I’d want to be able to juggle Boeings with my mind, just trigger the occasional traffic light. Erm, and perhaps a modest near-fatal cerebral embolism here and there when it’s called for.

What to call me? Well, ‘Sir’ might be a good start…

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030727
Blogathon 2003 – the Finish Line
Time
14:00
Well, it’s been a gas. I have no idea how ratted this is going to leave me tomorrow, so as my sign-off task, I’ve updated the navbars throughout the site to include Paul’s weblog, Hanging Day.

Thanks to all of my Blogathon sponsors and everybody who chipped in with questions and moral support. All in all we raised $164 for Amnesty International.

Probably the hardest I’ve worked for money in a very long time, but let us not forget that I stood defiantly before the clock and kept the ever-present threat of bedtime at bay for the duration.

Let us not overlook the many grand works of art that were unleashed upon the masses in this time.

Above all, let us not…

Ah, sod it.

Bedtime for me. Hometime for you.

‘night all!

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030728
Blogathon 2003 – Aftermath
Time
08:50
Yes, I’m awake – and in surprisingly good shape. For those who missed them, here are the photoshops done for the Blogathon in chronological order. I’ll make a static collection when I have the time.

The 4007th Project:

one | two | three | four | five | six | seven | eight | nine | ten | eleven | twelve

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030728

Time
08:59
Via Hanging Day we learn of Amy Vicker’s departure from The Mirror. Paul points out that the Mirror’s rebranding of the section (previously known as ‘Amy’s I’ – see it for the last time here) may hit trouble, given that ‘iBlog’ already exists as a registered trademark.

Me, I have other concerns. Amy copped a fair bit of stick online (due to The Mirror’s repeated acts of shameless content theft) but – to her credit – she did her best to defend the actions of her paper openly and honestly when interacting with online communities such as B3ta.com

But now Amy works for The Express (owned and operated by Richard Desmond the Pornographer). Will she still be able to interact openly online? Will she be allowed to? In fact, I’m left wondering if her technology section will be published online at all.

UPDATE – Almost forgot. Paul’s also got an excellent piece on the never-dwindling hopes of portals over at The Guardian this morning.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030728
Does What It Says On The Tin
Time
09:16
how-to-bow.com (link via ultimateinsult.net)

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Date
20030728
Only Interesting to Bloggers
Time
09:20
Blog Change Bot is a new monitoring service for AOL Instant Messenger users who want to know the moment when their favourite blogs are updated.

I also got an email during the Blogathon about a new tool that lets technological throwbacks like myself establish an RSS feed – but I lost the link when I was cleaning out the 156 spams I received over the weekend. There’s a pretty good guide to creating an RSS feed including some shortcut options here, but this (new?) service looked pretty spiffy. Could whoever sent it send it again, please? Thanks.

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Date
20030728

Time
09:28
There’s nothing wrong with a little aggregation here and there but do you really have to suck all the fun out of it?

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Date
20030728
Riding High on Blogdex
Time
09:31
Something screwy is going on with an article over at The Washington Post regarding restructuring in Iraq. There are quite a few links floating about as a result, but this one has the full poop.

Also, a predictable amount of outrage has seen a page featured a 9/11 video game chart well… until the webmaster wisely decided to remove the offending page, that is. Those curious to see what what on offer will still be able to catch the page text in Google’s cache for most of today.

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Date
20030728

Time
09:37
Man who drove parents’ car into lake faces littering charges.

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Date
20030728
Flash Games
Time
09:41
Alien Hominid (via FunJunkie) is exceptionally bloodthirsty and quite fun, but if you want a brutally simple and addictive game, then take a bite out of the excellent !FISHY!

You’re a small fish. You have to avoid fish bigger than you, because they can and will eat you. However, you can (and will) eat fish that are smaller than you – and as you do, you get bigger and bigger and bigger…

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030728

Time
09:48
Welcome to the 21st Century:

‘Sesame Street’ for grown-ups to teach adults how to fill out forms, balance a checkbook, etc.

7-year-old Taiwanese boy receives treatment for porn addiction.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030728

Time
09:51
For the first time ever, a court has applied traditional property protections to a domain name. We all know how the papers will report it, though… the domain name in question is sex.com

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Date
20030728
Been There, Done That
Time
09:53
Keyboard Porn? Sorry, Furniture Porn got there first years ago.

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Date
20030728

Time
10:04
Life is full of difficult choices.

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Date
20030728
It’s War! And Somebody’s Telling Porkies!
Time
10:04
Prime Minister of Niger denies claims his nation tried to sell uranium to Iraq. He’s also challenged Tony Blair to prove otherwise.

I’m trying to line myself up as Alastair Campbell’s replacement, so here’s a freebie to get things rolling:

Tony, your best bet is to suddenly make the debate all about email scams.

UPDATE – Missing WMDs and Other Deceptions. Be warned that this article was written by a filthy, lying Ay-rab.

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Date
20030728

Time
10:09
A BBC has just come up with a great idea for a weekly run-down that’s going to run and run and run:

10 things we didn’t know this time last week

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Date
20030728

Time
10:11
Spam e-mailers say they can get around new Louisiana law. I honestly don’t think anything can be achieved by targeting these resilient and unrepentant asshats. Even if there are ironclad laws that make spamming illegal in the U.S., they’ll simply move offshore (it’s not as if they’re going to leave any friends behind or anything).

When local councils in Sydney were having problems with pole posters (a form of street spam put up illegally in the middle of the night to promote bands and DJs appearing at local pubs and clubs) they gave up on trying to catch the culprits in the act and instead prosecuted the people kind enough to put their name and address on the posters.

Spam needs a similar solution; the primary target should be the advertisers.

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Date
20030728
Flash Games
Time
12:13
Get three workmates and start huddling around the keyboard – now! 4D Pong is here, people – and productivity will never be the same again.

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Date
20030728

Time
14:42
Time to blow the dust off the oldest obit on the shelf: Bob Hope has finally passed on.

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Date
20030728
Photoshopping
Time
18:09
No, I don’t think the lack of sleep has had a pronounced effect on me. Why do you ask?

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Date
20030729

Time
08:51
Well, as Paul notes, The Mirror’s iblog has launched, and with just the right shade of desperate neediness:

“I was going to say ‘Welcome to our GREAT new feature etc….’ But that’s for YOU to judge. E-mail this link www.mirror.co.uk/iblog to all your friends.”

(I do wish they wouldn’t SHOUT….)

Of course, this one is bigger and better, because it has not one writer but five; Steve, Ben, Neil, Kev and Naveed. Kind of like the 3am Girls, then. But with less friends.

You may want to pop over and watch the first car-crash of an entry (starts with plug for Orange, then moves swiftly on to cutting-edge news about Star Wars Kid and Islamic text divorces), but if you do, you’ll have to cut and paste the URL. If they want Google-juice from me, they’re going to have to earn it:

http://www.mirror.co.uk/iblog/

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Date
20030729

Time
09:04
Nothing says ‘advanced science’ quite like brains in a petri dish. Controlling robots on the other side of the planet, no less. The end days are upon us.

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Date
20030729

Time
09:06
Missing: 50 pound, 7 ft tall boy, with chef’s hat and big, round belly. He won’t get far; he left his shoes behind.

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Date
20030729
Yet Another Lame Quiz
Time
09:10
Just found The Freak Test via The Ultimate Insult. Apparently I’m 58.5% freak. I scored extra points for starting my own religion and having people convert to it.

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Date
20030729

Time
09:16
See Doc Oc on the poster for Spiderman II.

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Date
20030729
Oldies But Goodies
Time
09:17
Spaced Penguin is great stuff. My kids play it all the time.

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Date
20030729
Telemarketers
Time
09:19
Telemarketers Sue Over Do-Not-Call List. They claim it will devastate the industry. Well, boo-effing-hoo.

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Date
20030729

Time
09:23
Vote #1 Georgy! She’s an underdog that’s, like, totally bitchin’!

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Date
20030729
It’s War! And Things Is Getting Ridiculous!
Time
09:24
The Pentagon is setting up a stock-market style system in which investors would bet on ‘terror attacks, assassinations and other events in the Middle East.’ Yes, you read that right.

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Date
20030729
Photoshopping
Time
09:26
I’m going to be exploring scraminals over the next few days. Do try to keep your trousers dry.

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Date
20030730

Time
09:01
A great collection of censored cartoons (via Ultimate Insult). The Amazing Formula guy is alo a great find. Go and see Scott for the linkage.

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Date
20030730

Time
09:04
Wedding recption ends in riot. It all started when a police officer spotted a 13-year-old girl drinking alcohol.

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Date
20030730
Does What It Says On The Tin
Time
09:07
How do dinosaurs fit with the Bible?

“When God created the world, dinosaurs were one of His creations. God created all the animals… Like Adam, the bodies of the first dinosaurs were formed from the dust of the earth. Man and dinosaurs lived at the same time.”

All this and more available from christiananswers.net

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Date
20030730
Riding High on Blogdex
Time
09:10
Blake’s 7 set for hi-tech return. It just won’t be the same without wobbly sets and shoddy effects. Still, in these enlightened times, we can look forward to some serious man-nip action. Even Batman has rubber nipples these days.

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Date
20030730

Time
09:13
Parents: White Teacher Should Not Teach Black History

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Date
20030730

Time
09:16
Read a letter home from a 2nd lieutenant stationed north of Baghdad. The local insect population laughs at his meagre chemical controls, and people keep shooting at him.

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Date
20030730

Time
09:18
El Reg: Copying is Theft – and other legal myths.

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Date
20030730
Flash Thingies
Time
09:19
Your own personal liquid slave. Will follow your cursor anywhere. Make him wiggle for maximum enjoyment.

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Date
20030730
Yet Another Lame Quiz
Time
09:21
Well overdue, this one: Which Willy Wonka character are you?

It says that I’m Willy. That’s Mr Wonka to you….

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Date
20030730

Time
09:24
New research suggests that some cigarette brands are likely to be far more addictive than others.

On a semi-related topic, you may wish to drop by and see Elvis out of his mind of drugs.

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Date
20030730

Time
09:27
Al-Qaida May Be Planning More Hijackings, say US Officials. Now is this a genuine threat, or yet another cynical press release meant to keep us on our toes?

In other news, the Pentagon has abandoned its plan for a futures market based on terrorist activity. Well, that lasted all of 24 hours. Now we wait quietly for someone to start an unofficial version online.

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Date
20030730

Time
09:32
Sliced bread celebrates its 75th anniversary.

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Date
20030730
Blogathon 2003 – Aftermath
Time
09:40
I’ve still got reliable incoming email, but outgoing remains a problem – so I’m going to have to deal with this on the blog:

The email sent out by the Blogathon chaps to sponsors is the wrong one. It sends you to the Amnesty International sign-up page.

The proper donation URL is:

http://www.amnesty.org.uk/support/donation.shtml

Thanks to Rich for the heads-up.

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Date
20030730
Photoshopping
Time
09:43
Another scraminal for you. Not as scary as yesterday’s, but it is unique in that it crows sometime around midday.

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Date
20030730
Flash Music Video
Time
12:55
JPEG Baby has just entered the top ten in Google for the single-word search query ‘JPEG’.



It’s still only #23 or thereabouts for ‘love song,’ but give it time…

UPDATE – Well shut mah mouth! JPEG Baby is now bouncing around up at 1st-4th place for ‘love song’ (depending on which version of Google you use).

(insert evil laugh here)

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Date
20030730
Flash Games
Time
16:17
Time to go harvesting children in the dark woods. All you’ve got are your wits, a flying broom, and a great big bubbling cauldron…

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Date
20030731

Time
08:52
Enjoy this collection of absurd patents from the UK and lesser colonies. My favourite is the horse-powered mini-bus.

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Date
20030731

Time
08:56
Florida smoking ban leads to tobacco-infused drink. No surprises there.

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Date
20030731

Time
08:57
Baptist church wishes to increase congregation diversification – offers to pay white people to attend.

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Date
20030731

Time
08:58
Texas redistricting explained for the average American. Pizza and donuts, anyone?

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Date
20030731

Time
09:01
Blood oozes out of apartment walls in western Indian city of Ahmedabad. It’s been formally identified as human blood by forensic experts, but no-one knows where its coming from. Could Monkey Man be to blame?

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Date
20030731

Time
09:03
What could be more useful that a shoe size – penis size conversion chart?

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Date
20030731

Time
09:04
Blowtorch-wielding bandit accidentally burns booty. Also, scroll down this brief list of fire reports for a story that really needs to be told.

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Date
20030731

Time
09:07
Oooh, look who else is calling something I-Blog. The Mirror’s wanna-blog is still a month or so behind the rest of the world, featuring as it does today Matrix-style ping pong. They also need to get over this unhealthy obsession with eBay. Still no Google-juice for them:

http://www.mirror.co.uk/iblog/

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Date
20030731
A Reader Writes…
Time
09:24
stopabductions.com is a real website. It is about a real device and has

real case histories. The other website you mention on your site is a parody

of stopabductions.com It is demeaning and in poor taste.

See Michael Menkin’s new website, aliensandchildren.org for more information

and proof of alien abductions and the success of the thought screen helmet.

Michael Menkin

stopabductions.com

aliensandchildren.org

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Date
20030731

Time
09:28
A week without e-mail is more traumatic than moving house or getting divorced, say techies. Damn right. Being unable to reply is really starting to get my goat.

Chris, the donation link you need for the Blogathon is here. Please don’t send any money to me directly; I’d only spend it on beer.

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Date
20030731
Does What It Says On The Tin
Time
09:33
Make your dog or cat the toughest moggie or doggie of the neighbourhood with the help of tattoo-a-pet.com! An individual tracking number is only $35, but for a little bit extra they may throw in a cool flaming skull or a picture of a naked lady.

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Date
20030731

Time
09:46
This page has been eaten by monsters.

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Date
20030731
Photoshopping
Time
11:01
More scraminals for you to enjoy.

You might want to put this image to one side until next Easter. In the meantime, it will just have to haunt your dreams…

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Date
20030731

Time
11:23
My wife brought some of these home yesterday. They are beyond cool:

Animal-shaped rubber bands!

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Date
20030731
The Political Weblog Movement
Time
11:58
What’s an RFID tag and why should you care? This post from Tom Watson is an excellent run-down of how he became aware of them them and why he’s decided to take action. Go Tom, go!

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Date
20030731
Updates
Time
15:42
Most of you are aware that I’m now focusing on business/e-commerce a lot more than I have been recently. I’ll be doing this work through Screen Pages Ltd. (they’re a smart bunch, they appreciate where I’m coming from and – even better – they’re less than 10 miles from my front door).

The Bloggerheads business section has enjoyed a long-overdue overhaul and now ties in neatly with this new relationship.

There is also new primary linkage above for the search engine seminar I’ll be giving in early September (as UKNM subscribers will no doubt be aware, I’ve been meaning to do one of these for over a year now).

In the coming days, my brand new Domokun Kettle (won at FunJunkie) will take pride of place in the office kitchen.

That is all.

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Date
20030731
Photoshopping
Time
17:03
All new! All fluffy! Not at all tainted by scandal! (And quite likely to drop by your house with a basket full of chocolate eggs.)

Seriously, how could you not love this face?








Posted in Uncategorized | Comments Off on 18-31 July, 2003 (includes Blogathon 2003)

01-17 July, 2003

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Date
20030701
Only Interesting to Bloggers
Time
08:44
Why we need Echo* (*new name coming soon).

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030701
Doing The Rounds
Time
08:48
A new headline to suit those items that you’ve probably already seen a million times, but that I need to blog for my own reference:

The Illustrated Catalog Of ACME Products

That note on the fridge door.

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Date
20030701

Time
08:51
27-Year-Old Man Poses as Teenage Girl. He’s over 6 feet tall and weighs 180 pounds, but has still managed to convince people that he’s a (very ugly) teenage girl – and has taken shelter with a number of families under this guise.

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Date
20030701

Time
08:56
Finally, a message of hope and fellowship from the stars.

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Date
20030701

Time
08:59
Overpriced but quite cool vintage sideshow banners (link via Ultimate Insult).

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Date
20030701

Time
09:02
I’ll be signing up for the 2003 Blogathon as soon as the back-end lets me.

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Date
20030701

Time
09:03
Bloggers Gain Libel Protection (but only if they live in the States). Turns out that this is a conversation after all. Cindy Cohn, legal director of the Electronic Frontier Foundation, said:

“One-way news publications have editors and fact-checkers, and they’re not just selling information — they’re selling reliability. But on blogs or e-mail lists, people aren’t necessarily selling anything, they’re just engaging in speech. That freedom of speech wouldn’t exist if you were held liable for every piece of information you cut, paste and forward.”

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Date
20030701

Time
09:12
Roy Taylor Ministries presents American Pie and the Armageddon Bible Prophecy.

And I looked, and behold a pink carnation and a pick-up truck, and upon the pick-up truck one sat like a lonely teenage broncing buck, having on his head a thorny crown, and in his hand a coat he borrowed from James Dean. Or something like that.

Hmmm. I’ll have to take a closer look at this. Time to refer to the Annotated “American Pie” page….

Wow, how about that? Mick Jagger is Satan! Now it’s all starting to make sense!

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Date
20030701

Time
09:23
Heh. A Microsoft Word version of a certain dossier was published online. Microsoft Word keeps quite comprehensive revision logs that anybody who downloads the file can dig into. Similar documents are now published in PDF format.

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Date
20030701

Time
09:29
Israel acknowledges running secret detention centre. Prisoners are kept in black, windowless cells. When they ask where they are, they are told: “On the moon.”

And, presumably, that their name is now ‘Alice.’

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Date
20030701

Time
09:33
Jim Carrey run down by Stephen Hawking. The Sun is there.

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Date
20030701

Time
09:35
I’m sure that Howard Dean’s a good man and a solid candidate, but I really wish that he’d taken the time to blog properly. Now every politician with dollar signs in their eyes is going to take one look at this and decide that Dean’s faux-blog is the model to follow.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030701
Tim Yeo: Campaign Hijacker
Time
10:25
Well, how about that? Tim Yeo has actually taken action, asked a question that nails down a date, and received an answer. August is the promised delivery date. Knowing the folks from Tony Blair’s communications unit, the exact date is probably the 47th of August, but at least we have something beyond vague guestimations such as ‘in the new year’ or ‘very soon.’

The interesting thing is that this question was submitted on Thursday 26th June, the day after I requested (as part of a very kind offer) that he ‘ask a question in parliament designed to nail down an actual delivery date on a viable service for Tony Blair’ (see Bloggerheads archives for Wed 25 Jun).

See? I told you he reads his emails.

Pity he doesn’t answer them.

Applause for the action. A mighty big ‘yah-boo-sucks’ for the ongoing hypocrisy.

Thinking that perhaps Mr Yeo was a technophobe, I gave up on email and called his office yesterday on the telling-bone. I left a message. I left my home number. Did I get a reply? No.

Now, of course, we get more column inches for Mr Yeo and still no recognition for the core campaign that actually drove this forward.

I’m happy about the result, but I’m still mightily pissed off with the attitude, so if Tim Yeo thinks this is enough to calm me down, he’s very, very wrong.

An apology is still due. And I’m going to continue to fight for it.

UPDATE – Thanks to Rog for the scan of The Mail on Sunday. More pictures will follow soon. Today, I’m publishing Tim Yeo’s phone numbers and email addresses on the Tim Yeo : Campaign Hijacker page and the Tim Yeo weblog.

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Date
20030701
Big Brother 4
Time
10:28
You know, I came *this* close to actually watching Big Brother last night after hearing whispers that the new inmate Lisa was really a man.

Then I realised that I didn’t give a damn either way, and spent the evening watching lousy documentaries instead.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030701
Something Awful
Time
11:57
If you’ve turned up here from the Something Awful forums, can you please send me details of the specific thread where the linkage is? My referral stats won’t feed me the info, and the search function won’t work (yes, I’ve paid) and I’ve hunted and poked around, but simply cannot find the bloody thing. It’s probably just another mention of Mustard Man, but I’d like to know all the same. Ta.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030702

Time
08:41
The Funjunkie competition is starting to heat up. The challenge is to show your devotion by sending in a picture including you and their name. The prize is a digital camcorder, and girly body parts are enjoying a late run.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030702

Time
08:45
Aggravate your hangover with the Headacher. Don’t be afraid to play with the pull-down menu. There are some spectacular concepts in the collection that will make you want to stab your eyeballs with a pencil, and I’d hate for you to miss any of them. (Link via Ultimate Insult.)

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030702
Animal Kingdom
Time
08:50
Mutilated cat cases continue in Denver and public reaction to the slaughter of eight puppies in Arcata has led to the arrest of two brothers. Meanwhile, a huge, gelatinous sea creature washed up on the shore is baffling Chilean scientists.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030702

Time
08:56
Web firms choose profit over privacy. Most of them do their level best to convince/fool you to opt in, but some companies take the opt-out list and sell it regardless of customers’ wishes. Everyone’s getting spammed anyway, so who’s going to know, right?

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030702

Time
09:02
Poll suggests that 52% of Americans believe the US has found clear evidence that Saddam was working closely with al-Qaida. I say ‘suggests’ because they only polled 1,000 people. Still…

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030702
Only Interesting to Bloggers
Time
09:07
Businesses use blogs to help get their name out there. Still very limited take-up in the commercial sector. Honesty scares some people. Most marketing managers also consider Adwords to be a form of search engine optimisation, so the full benefits of blogs completely pass them by.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030702

Time
09:09
Ah, this explains the minor traffic spike resulting from a sudden rush of searches yesterday for Michael Carroll. It was either a bunch of journalists looking for an angle or extra paragraph on this story, or a bunch of readers reacting to same:

16-year-old wins lottery.

UPDATE – This may also have something to do with it:

Lottery winner fined for benefits fraud

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030702

Time
09:18
Honest observation or digitally-altered pot-stirring? When in doubt, listen to the rhubarb. Most folks are taking this at face value and reacting pretty much as you woulkd expect, but I found at least one chap amongst the linkage who plans on doing a little fact-checking. Well, actually, I suspect he’s really calling to enjoy a minor rant. We shall see.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030702

Time
09:31
Overheated sperm getting you down? Shield your precious seed with the protective wonder of Sauna Pants. This site contains some irresistible Engrish.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030702
Telemarketers
Time
09:35
Telemarketing victim strikes back by calling back. About 100 times. Heh.

“I just called them every five minutes and let them know that, no I don’t have a crack in my windshield, because this seems to be something they are very concerned about.”

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030702
Tim Yeo: Campaign Hijacker
Time
09:37
A new image has been added to the gallery today, entitled:

“Conservative Beefcake”

I’d really like to know what’s going on in Tim Yeo’s mind.

Does he think this storm will blow over? Maybe he’s of the opinion that said storm is taking place in a teacup.

All I know is that I deserve an apology and I’m not going to leave the man alone until I get one.

Really, is it that difficult? The man has made at least one apology before (regarding Tory failures on the BSE crisis).

Here, listen to Tim Yeo saying ‘sorry.’ The word didn’t stick in his throat. The heavens didn’t fall. What’s stopping him from turning this minor disagreement into a major web presence?

I really would like to know.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030702
My 10th Wedding Anniversary
Time
10:09
Tomorrow is my 10th wedding anniversary. Last year I said something nice about the missus. This year, it’s your turn.

Bloggerheads may seem like little old me operating independently out of my web-shed, but without the ongoing backing and inspiration that this woman provides, it probably wouldn’t exist at all.

Remember, this is a woman who gave me full and unwavering support when I went out and marched for peace (again and again and again). Who understood why I had to go out in the wee small hours with Out Of Order signs or a handful of playground chalk. Who took it very well when I called her from Trafalgar Square to let her know that I’d just suffered a minor collapse, so if she saw it live on TV, then she shouldn’t worry.

Above all, this is a woman who is incredibly tolerant of the time I spend glued to my computer.

Show your appreciation with a short email today via the following address:

kate AT bloggerheads DOT com

Thank you.

(Note – Emails will not be blogged. They’re for the missus and the missus alone.)

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030702

Time
10:47
That image of Lisa from Big Brother (see yesterday’s bloggage) is currently No.1 on the Lycos Viral Chart. Resulting traffic spike? As far as I can tell, about 3 or 4 people searching for ‘bloggerheads.com’ in Google.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030702

Time
15:24
Damn, I missed Canada Day. Again. Oh well, there is this (thanks, Simon).

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030703
The Political Weblog Movement
Time
07:53
There’s going to be very little bloggage today, but I will take a few moments to send you in this direction:

Political weblogs: spread the gospel

Thanks to everyone who sent email yesterday. It was and is appreciated.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030704
Told You So
Time
08:34
To everybody I’ve had a drunken conversation with in the last two months:

1. Sorry about your cat.

2. Remember how I pointed out that in 1997 stark new warning labels were introduced on cigarette packets in Australia and a cottage industry sprang up overnight selling ‘amusing’ fake labels to cover them up? Well, stark new warning labels have been with us in the UK for about 8 weeks now… and a cottage industry has sprung up overnight selling ‘amusing’ fake labels to cover them up:

FakeFags.com

FagTags.com

The former company hopes to market themselves via an affiliate scheme. The latter seems to think that sticking their labels all over the walls of the London Underground is the way to go.

UPDATE – Michael Pastor was kind enough to email details of a site that lets you download free samples. Not that you couldn’t make them yourself with MS Word in about 2 minutes…

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030704
Telemarketers
Time
08:36
How Farkers deal with Telemarketers.

In other news, Telemarketers are seeking new ways of invading your life now national ‘do not call’ list is in place. They just don’t get the message, do they?

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030704

Time
08:38
Wyoming man fired from Home Depot for criticising the CEO on his website.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030704
Riding High on Blogdex
Time
08:44
Yesterday’s Guardian article on political weblogging is currently #3 on the Blogdex chart. Here’s their list of people talking about it, and here’s another list courtesy of Technorati.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030704
When Monkeys Run Amok
Time
08:49
Escaped circus monkey invades pizzeria and vandalises ladies room.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030704
Flash Games
Time
08:51
Peeball! A genuine challenge, and more fun than flushing halfway through and trying to beat the cistern. (Link via FunJunkie.)

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030704

Time
09:02
Bush Asks Congress For $30 Billion To Help Fight War On Criticism.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030704

Time
09:04
Go Joe! See the missing G.I. Joe episodes and photos of G.I. Joe in WW2.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030704
Oldies but Goodies
Time
09:08
The Rocky & Bullwinkle Horror Picture Show. I’m sure I remember seeing this back in 1998, but every good effort deserves a revival now and again.

Speaking of which, Tom Watson’s ‘Teens!’ page is enjoying a solid comeback (including reported discussion on the Popbitch boards and – strangely – inclusion in the Wimbledon commentary).

Cue many, many abusive emails from outraged individuals – most of them over 30 – who genuinely think that Tom is ‘for real’ in trying to get down wiv da yoof.

Tom is now posting extracts from the best of these at his regular weblog, but I think he might be a little misguided in blaming the Yeo crew for the bulk of it. Yeo’s not that smart, and people in general are that stupid.

If that sounds a bit harsh, consider that 8% of of Londoners say ‘take me home’ to a cabbie, before promptly failing to remember their address.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030704
Corporate Fun and Games
Time
09:30
Boycott Blockbuster and dig deeper into The McGriddle. I saw these monstrosities when I was in Boston. They have maple syrup baked into the bun. Baked. Into. The. Bun.

Eggs, bacon, sausage – and maple syrup? I’m sorry, but just the thought of it makes my stomach turn.

Incidentally, you may remember the whole ‘you can’t take photos in Starbucks’ fuss recently. Well, I tried to take a picture of the McGriddles range on offer, and this is the result.

Why is the photo so blurred? Well, just out of shot is a till attendant taking a good hold of my elbow and telling me that I’m not allowed to take photos inside McDonalds.

Silly me, I forgot to write a letter to the central office and ask permission first.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030704
Feedback Friday
Time
12:48
After over a year of banging my head against the brick wall of business, I shifted my attention to politics. I now see this area as ready to snowball. I’m talking to some folks what I trust to offer a set-price solution for MPs who need a blog, so I can move on.

Or, rather, back.

From next week onwards, my focus will return to e-commerce.

That is all.

(Oh go on, then. You can make a comment about that if you really feel you need to. It is Friday, after all…)

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030705

Time
17:11
Tom’s Teens page: ‘just another’ viral campaign? Charming. Someone’s nose is out of joint.

UPDATE – Actually, it may very well be mine. Oh well. I’m still trying to work out just what is going on with this sentence:

“On first reading, we thought it was just another viral campaign from search-engine optimist-cum-Internet prankster Tim Ireland, whose production credits appear on the site. But no, Tom Watson is a real live politician. So yes it is another viral.”

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030707
Does What It Says On The Tin
Time
08:23
bathroomsurvey.com

www.deadmalls.com

www.hairyback.com

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030707

Time
08:24
New internet service allows citizens to create dossiers on government officials. If you don’t talk with us, we’re going to talk about you…

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030707

Time
08:26
Doped-up rats run amok in Queensland police station after digging into display of speed and pot.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030707

Time
08:30
BBC reports rumbles Amsterdam spammer. His world is now crashing down around his ears. Go and watch the fall.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030707
Flash Games
Time
08:36
Save the little space-dude’s home. Poke around for the clickable links. You’ll work it out.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030707
Christianity Watch
Time
08:38
Lightning hits preacher moments after he calls to God, asking for a sign.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030707

Time
08:43
Tom’s Teens page was featured on Pg. 2 of Saturdays’ Financial Times. They gave the wrong URL. This caused many people to (finally) discover Tom’s 404 page (hint: if you only get a standard warning, try this.

(UPDATE – Sorry. Used wrong link on ‘this.’ Something more useful is now in place.)

Another newspaper called as a result. They were convinced that Tom’s site had been hacked.

Now Tom’s running a competition, challenging web folk to design a better 404 page. This entry is my favourite so far.

Oh, and on the subject of hacking, please look both ways before you cross this street.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030707
The Political Weblog Movement
Time
08:54
Despite the New Focus, I will be attending the following Voxpolitics Seminar:

Can Weblogs Change Politics?

I urge anyone interested to RSVP today to help them nut out the numbers.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030708

Time
08:25
Rejoice! The Guardian is to be published in the U.S. in a weekly magazine format. I’ll be plugging them every step of the way.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030708

Time
08:29
Transfer money, make friends and get a transcript of your entire online relationship as part of your monthly bank statement with the miracle of communication that is CashMail.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030708

Time
08:37
Bush administration claims that a return to nuclear testing may soon be necessary. A new generation of nuclear bunker-busters is in development, and the Nevada desert looks ready to rock again.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030708

Time
08:43
Cashing in on a celebrity death with Adwords? Now that’s class all over.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030708
Riding High on Blogdex
Time
08:46
The Open Government Information Awareness site (I blogged some news on this yesterday) looks rock solid in top position. If they need a revenue stream, they should sell GIA identification cards. I’d buy one.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030708
Only Interesting to Bloggers
Time
08:52
TypePad is in beta-testing and Dave Winer talks about the ‘Blog This’ feature on Google’s new toolbar and AOL’s entry into weblogs.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030708
Christianity Watch
Time
08:58
morons.org: “Yes, Virginia, there are fundamentalist religious extremists in Europe.”

Guardian: Evangelicals plan next anti-gay campaign.

Isn’t there already a puritanical church or two that these people can go to?

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030708

Time
09:03
The Internet Is Shit. But we don’t have the evangelists to thank for that – or even the chattering masses. The biggest problem is ignorance on the business front. This is where everything from pop-ups to banners to spam originates from. It’s also why 99% of corporate web presences are a complete waste of space.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030708

Time
09:10
Bargain shopper busted with fabricated barcode labels. The first of many such stories, I assure you.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030708

Time
09:13
This site for the Paranormal & Ghost Society is quite possibly the ugliest site I’ve ever seen, but it contains many joys even before you get to the core content. Have a read through disclaimers that are scattered throughout the site; the man is a legal genius.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030708
Hulk Smash!
Time
09:19
1. Keyboards for people with fat fingers.

2. Cheap Hulk knock-off toy found to have enormous penis: The Sun is there.

3. The Hollywood Sites, Hollywood URLs article is drawing quite a few visitors who are lost and cannot find the site for the new Hulk movie.

UPDATE – Check out this newly introduced alternative URL for the movie. Nice to see that someone’s paying attention. Now perhaps they can read the rest of the bloody article. They need categorised and indexable info like this on their own site, for a start.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030708
Flash Games
Time
09:30
Take pot-shots at Clippy.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030708
Tim Yeo: Campaign Hijacker
Time
10:52
Ongoing Tim Yeo activity is being shifted over to the Tim Yeo weblog. Because the man clearly has no plans to get back to me and the last thing I want is Tory porn on my front page every other day as a result.

The TY weblog will continue to stalk this little man, right up until the next election if needs be.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030708

Time
17:21
If you’re going to tattoo your child, ensure that it’s done by a company you can trust.

Heh. I can feel the heat of outrage from here.

Pure common sense tells me that it’s a hoax, but for those who need something concrete, Snopes already has a listing for this.

More? OK. The related Metafilter thread not only reveals who the culprits are (scroll about halfway down this page for details), it also rumbles them for stealing the design from this site.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030709

Time
07:35
Hey, how about that? I’m older than Jennifer Lopez. I wonder if she’ll go out with me?

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030709
It’s War! And Somebody’s Telling Porkies!
Time
07:36
Bush administration admits claim that Saddam tried to buy uranium was slightly misguided. The cat’s on the roof…

In other news, the dossier sideshow continues here in the UK.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030709
Anybody But George
Time
07:42
How To Rig An E-lection In The United States

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030709

Time
07:42
More on AOL belatedly jumping on the blogwagon:

Burning Bird has fond memories of what happened when AOL users were unleashed on Usenet.

How can I say this without offending AOL users?

Hmmm.

OK, so the ads may make an attractive case. The free CDs may have an attractive case, and after 12 of them arriving in your mailbox I suppose you can’t really be blamed for trying just one to check it out. And yes, AOL is almost impossible to remove from your systems once it’s installed.

However…

Staying with AOL after being online for more than 3 months is a lot like living with your parents beyond the age of 30.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030709

Time
07:48
Stephen Hawking visits strip club. The Sun is there.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030709
Stories That Mean Nothing
Time
07:50
Simon Cowell has said he could turn Prince William into a pop star. The new series of Pop Idol must be just around the corner. Here’s hoping it does as dismally as the latest version of Big Brother.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030709
Naughty Bits
Time
07:53
1. After 19 years of silence, paralyzed man speaks. He used his new-found ability to make a pass at the nurse.

2. Was the defendant’s mother scratching her scalp with her middle finger or making an obscene gesture at the judge?

3. Thinking of taking the kids to see Stonehenge this year?

4. Over 70 rude words downgraded from ‘taboo’ to ‘slang’ by Collins English Dictionary. There are still 16 very rude words left over. See if you can list them all.

(This is not a competition, I’m actually trying to trick you into writing a list of dirty words just as the boss is walking past…)

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030709

Time
08:03
Jason Alexander’s KFC contract terminated after his meeting with PETA. KFC claims there’s no connection.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030709

Time
08:05
8-year-old charged after torturing kitten.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030709

Time
08:06
Check out the reversible matchbox gallery (link via Ultimate Insult).

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030709
Feedback
Time
08:09
Ed Neal took a precious minute from his busy schedule (which mostly involves wondering what the girl next door would look like with her head on a stick) to give the following advice:

“Don’t sweat the petty stuff.. and for god’s sake.. DON’T pet the sweaty stuff!!…”

Thanks, Ed.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030709
Photoshopping
Time
11:55
Go to Google and search for ‘photoshopping’ for mucho bigness.

UPDATE – And to celebrate, here’s a nice picture for you….

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030710
It’s War! And Somebody’s Telling Porkies!
Time
08:31
Tony Blair says:

“I should tell you I have absolutely no doubt at all that we will find evidence of weapons of mass destruction… programs, no doubt at all.”

Oh, OK. So long as there’s no doubt at all…

Donald Rumsfeld says:

“The coalition did not act in Iraq because we had discovered dramatic new evidence… we acted because we saw the evidence in a dramatic new light – through the prism of our experience on 9/11.”

The cat fell off the roof. Watch this space.

UPDATE – Please note that if Labour do lose the next election, it won’t be because of MP rebellion. It will be because of the lack of such rebellion when the chips were down.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030710

Time
08:38
I’m a creature of habit. I’ve bought (and subsequently worn to death) endless pairs of Converse All-Stars for well over a decade. But I won’t be buying them anymore.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030710

Time
08:41
Cover up your rude bits at the beach with wholesomewear.com

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030710
Riding High on Blogdex
Time
08:43
BBC: CIA warned Bush administration that claims about Iraq’s nuclear ambitions were not true months before they used them to make their case for war

More below under ‘Porkies’. Boy, I’m really starting to regret acting like a naive peacenik…

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030710

Time
08:47
Beer found in can of Diet Coke.

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Date
20030710

Time
08:50
Blog. From. Spaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaace!

Welcome… to the worrrrrrrrrrld of tomorrow!

etc…

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030710

Time
08:52
Store owner on assault charge after spanking a boy for teaching his parrot to swear.

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Date
20030710

Time
08:53
McDonald’s restaurant closed after routine inspection. The staff had been changing expiration dates on the milk.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030710
Video
Time
08:55
Watch Bugs Bunny and Donald Duck do their bit for the war effort.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030710

Time
09:02
Yay! Glamour pet photography rules!

(UK readers may be expecting something a little different. Prepare yourselves for disappointment… or considerable relief.)

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030710

Time
09:23
Tom’s Teens page: BBC gets joke, sees point. Oh, I do love starting the day with a big win.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030710

Time
10:43
Dissertation Could Be Security Threat.

“They’re worried about national security. I’m worried about getting my degree.”

Heh.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030710

Time
14:18
Someone else is out an about with the PayPal Email Scam. Two versions of this have arrived in my Inbox over the last hour.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030710
2003 Blogathon
Time
14:36
I’ve got my first sponsor for the 2003 Blogathon.

Raise a drink to Whitey, who’s kicked me off with a generous $50.

It starts at July 26, 06:00 Pacific Time. That means (I think) that I have to leap from the starting gate at July 26, 14:00 GMT.

24 hours of blogging. Just imagine it.

If you plan on watching, please do blow the dust off your wallet and sponsor Bloggerheads in the 2003 Blogathon.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030710
Photoshopping
Time
15:01
Dave Bowman Kenobi prepares to reboot.

There’s a big’un over at B3ta, plus two more 2001/SW crossovers from today and yesterday:

TIE-Pod

Mystery at Tycho

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030711

Time
08:33
File sharing bad. You bad. Summer come. Want share files? Share fun way with FunJunkie Summer Burn. Is good.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030711
Oldies But Goodies
Time
08:34
Howard Stone found that he could make his van backfire at will. So he rigged a camera in the rear of the van to capture people’s reactions to the beastly explosions. A classic.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030711
Riding High on Blogdex
Time
08:39
Crouching Tiger, Raging Ping Pong (streaming Windows Media file).

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030711

Time
08:42
Someone should talk to this woman about eggs and baskets.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030711

Time
08:43
Visit Yesterland.com, a form of digital afterlife for discontinued Disneyland attractions.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030711

Time
08:45
The Astor (Rubiks) Cube. This is just great. People pulling together to create something amazing and subversive, yet ultimately harmless. I must remember to send a copy of this to the Space Hijackers.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030711
Follow Up
Time
08:50
The Guardian interviews Terry Wallis. Who? He’s the chap who woke up from a 19-year coma the other day and almost immediately made a pass at the nurse.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030711

Time
08:52
Criminals and geniuses do their best work in their 30s. Mainly to impress chicks. Criminal geniuses, on the other hand, are above such petty concerns.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030711

Time
08:59
Watch George Bush watching elephants doing what elephants do to make little elephants.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030711

Time
09:04
New Battlestar Galactica series set to suck.

Richard Hatch (Apollo) has been fighting for a new series of Battlestar Galactica for years via battlestargalactica.com, but it looks like he and the fans have been screaming into a vacuum. A ‘re-imagining’ (read: ‘misguided rip-off’) is on the cards and Hatch & the boys are less than happy about it.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030711
Steady On…
Time
09:12
Saddam Hussein arrested in Israeli-occupied Golan Heights.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030711

Time
09:14
Marvel Scraps Plan for Comic Book Princess Di. No mutant Lady Di in spandex? Awwwwwww….

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030711

Time
09:15
The Pentagon’s plan for tracking everything that moves.

Last night, it struck me that a jolly good choice for the fourth plinth in Trafalgar Square would be a statue of George Orwell.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030711

Time
09:19
Political science instructor investigated by the Secret Service for telling his students to email elected officials with the words “kill the president, kill the president.”

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030711

Time
09:22
A fabulous reaction To Tom’s Teens! page. Nice to see so many people having fun with it. Smiles are hard to come by these days.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030711
Search Engine Optimisation
Time
10:31
Google is definitely making some major changes to its back-end and ranking algorithm. I’ve noticed a lot of stuff going on right now that hints at big changes in the wind – as I did just before the Google/Yahoo! deal went through.

And, as with the back-end cleanup that preceded this landmark deal, Bloggerheads’ results have subsequently gone up, not down.

‘Photoshopping’ shot up the other day. I just noticed a big improvement to ‘out of order’ searches, too (up from #10 to #2).

The holy grail of generic search results, ‘religion’, now places the Universal Church of the Interactive Network at an all-time high of #128 in Yahoo!

It’s going to be an interesting summer.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030711
Photoshopping
Time
12:56
Behold the Dawn of Wookies!

Part One is kind of average.

You want to check out Part Two, you do…

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030711
2003 Blogathon
Time
13:00
Rich from FunJUnkie has chipped in with an added $24 of sponsorship. You can throw more money my way by clicking here.

All proceeds from my little corner of the Blogathon will go to Amnesty International. I’ve got a kind of plan for the full day of bloggage, too:

24 Hours, 48 Questions

You ask, I answer. I’d like to be able to bring a form of FAQ to life from the activity, but don’t feel you have to stick to the boring stuff. Instead of ‘Frequently Asked Questions,’ think ‘Seldom Answered Questions.’

Priority will be given to sponsors (so be sure to include your sponsor name when you submit a question). To ask a question, just send an email via this link. (This will send emails into a special folder that I promise not to look into until 2:00pm GMT on July 26th.)

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030711

Time
16:20
Yay! A site dedicated entirely to all the hands that get chopped off in the Star Wars saga. There are a lot of them. Except in Episode I, which has none. No wonder it sucked.

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Date
20030711

Time
16:53
In case you were wondering, the Star Wars Photoshopping Project started 227 days, 6 hours and 10 minutes ago with this seemingly harmless post at B3ta. Just in case you were wondering.

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Date
20030711

Time
17:06
Finally, a candidate America can believe in:

Tony Blair for President! You know it makes sense.

UPDATE – Big version oif this image is being shown over at B3ta.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030714
It’s War! And Somebody’s Telling Porkies!
Time
08:33
20 Lies About the War. One of the cheekiest, used primarily to counter growing protest: ‘Iraq’s oil money would go to Iraqis’

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030714
Riding High on Blogdex
Time
08:36
‘AOL Journals’ To Bring Blogs To Millions. There goes the neighbourhood.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030714
Too Much Time On Their Hands
Time
08:38
A semi-comprehensive list of goofs from Gilligan’s Island.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030714

Time
08:41
Albuquerque man faces trial for hitting wife with pillow.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030714

Time
08:43
Man who wins $73.6 million says he want to “finally get me a tractor with brakes.”

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030714
Follow Up
Time
08:48
Family feud swirls around coma man. Welcome back, son. By the way, your daughter is now a stripper, but your wife has been busy having other children to replace her.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030714

Time
08:53
PCs hijacked by Trojan programs to deliver porn ads. The same Trojan may also be contributing to the delivery of those recent Paypal email scams.

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Date
20030714

Time
09:00
Holidaymaker takes down killer roo with an axe. Now there’s an adventure holiday concept for you. Load the ute up with axes, chainsaws and harpoons and hit the outback for a genuine ‘kill or be killed’ scenario. With roo-burgers for afters, of course. Killer Cockatoos will be next, you just wait and see.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030714

Time
09:05
Police inform mother of son’s death via voice mail.

“You. Have. Three. Messages. And. No. Son.”

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Date
20030714
Does What It Says On The Tin
Time
09:08
Strike up a pen-pal relationship with an inmate via writeaprisoner.com

A genuinely hot prospect was dug out of the files by Roddy (who emailed today to ask very nicely if he could link to The Star Wars Photoshopping Project).

Inmate Susan Smith is a god-fearing soul who likes rainbows. She considers herself to be ‘sensitive, caring & kind-hearted’… and is currently serving a life sentence on the charge of murder.

UPDATE – It seems that Susan is getting so much attention that a press release is called for. Turn out she’s famous.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030714

Time
09:16
Recall Notice: Beware of exploding toads.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030714
The Political Weblog Movement
Time
09:17
Please note the new time for the Can Weblogs Change Politics? seminar at Westminster tonight:

14th July, 7:00 – 9:00pm

Grant Committee Room, House of Commons

Get there early if you want a seat folks. It’s going to be crowded.

UPDATE – ZDnet: Weblogs help create a political hot spot

UPDATE 2 – The weblog seminar is currently the top news item in the BBC Technology category. (Thanks, Martyn…)

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030714
2003 Blogathon
Time
09:22
Tom is thinking of signing up for the 2003 Blogathon. It won’t be the first time an MP has worked around the clock (no, really) but the idea of taking policy suggestions and debating one each hour certainly sounds new to me. He wants your suggestions. Go and chip in.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030714
Tony Blair’s Email
Time
10:37
A further baby-step. The following announcement has been added to the Downing St site:

“A facility to allow you to email the Prime Minister will be made available during August.”

Interesting that they’re also starting to refer to it as a ‘facility’ instead of an ‘address.’

1. Do you think they actually read my specifications?

2. If the new service follows these specs to the letter, should I send them an invoice?

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030714

Time
10:57
Man Gets Life Sentence For Sucking Boys’ Toes. 15 years without parole. Martin points out that this amounts to 1.5 years per toe. However, there are 20 sets of toes to take into account. On the other hand, the sentences are being served concurrently rather than consecutively, so that means…

Oh, I don’t know. Can we drop the maths and instead spiral into a Pulp-Fictionesque debate about foot massages?

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030714

Time
12:03
See William Katt and Kurth Russel read for the parts of Luke and Han at Star Wars: The Screen Tests.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030715
Does What It Says On The Tin
Time
08:55
www.boredofthebeckhams.com

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030715
Riding High on Blogdex
Time
08:55
PDF: Unfit for Human Consumption. Agreed. It’s probably the most useless format available for publishing online documents – but it makes them look ever so pretty.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030715

Time
08:57
Vicar headbutts photographer at wedding. The Sun is there.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030715

Time
08:58
Lightning strikes woman’s tongue stud. She can count herself very lucky that she didn’t have piercings in more (ahem) exotic places.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030715
Christianity Watch
Time
09:00
The Evolution Irritation Site is has ‘facts,’ ‘truths’ and Jackpots galore. Jackpots? Don’t worry, you’ll see. Enjoy.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030715

Time
09:02
Announcing the winner of the FunJunkie Digital Camcorder competition (insert drum roll here).

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030715
Flash Games
Time
09:06
Yes, we have no weapons of mass destruction!

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030715

Time
09:08
Chewbacca delivers Episode III spoilers. Damn, that reminds me… I meant weeks ago to start a petition to get Star Wars Kid a cameo in the movie. Oh well.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030715
The Political Weblog Movement
Time
09:25
The Can Weblogs Change Politics? Seminar headed up by VoxPolitics went very well indeed. Andrew Orlowski still managed to bitch about it even though he was over 5,000 miles away at the time and remains completely without a clue. Tom from Plastic Bag was there, though – and he’s got a few words to say about Andrew this morning (plus a photo of Tom Watson in the pub).

Tom, Dan and I were a little late getting to the Westminster Arms. We had a little drinkies on the terrace first to celebrate Dan’s victory in the 404 competition (I should be able to get the new 404 page live sometime soon).

Interesting times on the terrace…

You may remember a few weeks back that I got in touch with Lembit Öpik’s office about the weblog format. They said ‘no,’ which surprised me. However, after cornering the man himself on the terrace (it was either talk to me or jump in the Thames) I can tell you that he personally find the idea quite interesting.

Watch this space.

UPDATE – Richard Allan has a short report on this, and quite an interesting idea. Adopt an MP. Get in touch. Help them understand it. Those that end up wanting it as a result are prime weblog material. Those that don’t we can do without anyway.

Oh, and here’s a selective blow-by-blow by Nick Barlow. Heh. The use of the word ‘disintermediation’ actually drove me from the room. I took a full 5 minutes to recover.

Finally, for your reference, here’s a comprehensive rundown of what was said by the main speakers and a few pictures from the event.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030715

Time
13:34
BBC reports on last night’s political weblog thingie.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030716

Time
12:24
Meet Mark Andrews, aka Chicken Man. Chickens changed his life, a life that is now doubly rich in that he has married Chicken Woman.

Chicken Man’s hobbies include:

1) Riding the Big Red Truck

2) Sitting in the truck window

3) Steering the truck

4) Scratching for bugs and worms

5) Taking a nap in front of a fan

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030716

Time
12:27
Cook County sheriff’s officer Ronnie Baffield caught two men engaged in a rather personal fashion in some shrubbery. Did he arrest them? No. He offered to let them go if they painted his house and got him a good deal on a computer. The officer has since been charged with bribery and official misconduct, and a good thing it is, too. The whole deal of goods/service exchange lingers dangerously close to socialism.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030716

Time
12:31
Cafepress offers print-on-demand books.

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Date
20030716

Time
12:33
Work for eBay. It’s fun.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030716

Time
12:34
Two men charged with manslaughter following the death of an Oxford University student. He was flung from a giant replica medieval catapult ‘in a 30 metre arc’ – but, sadly, this was a good few metres short of the distance required for him to reach the safety net.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030716
It’s War! And Somebody’s Telling Porkies!
Time
12:39
Bush shifts blames for Iraq lies. And so ends the promised era of responsibility. They’re busy trying to line up scapegoats over here, too.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030716
Follow Up
Time
12:44
Web Site Asks Susan Smith To Drop Ad. I grabbed a print-out of the personals page in question yesterday, for my own personal reference. I didn’t know she was famous when I first blogged it, I was simply charmed by her love for rainbows.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030716
Yet Another Lame Quiz
Time
12:47
What threat to the Bush administration are you?

I’m morally deficient. And dangerous.

BTW, I just got an email from Rainbow Heron, who writes:

“I was just listening to NPR and all of a sudden they started talking about weblogs and MPs. They were talking about Tom Watson’s decision to blog and then mentioned you by name (Tim Ireland) as being a help to him in setting it up. They also briefly mentioned Richard Allan and the Adopt a British MP campaign.

“Just wanted to say, congratulations, you’re on the radio in America.

“Also, the first time I ever heard (or rather saw) of you was on NBC Nightly News way back during the war. They briefly showed that soft pron pic of Bush & Blair in the flag together. Thought it was interesting but they didn’t give you credit for it. In fact, there was no mention of where it came from.”

Tch! Typical. Still, it was out there doing its job, and that’s what counts I suppose.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030716
Flash Thingies
Time
12:54
The difference between Italians and Europeans.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030716
Search Engine Optimisation
Time
12:58
The Yahoo/Overture deal has a lot of folks expecting Yahoo to drop Google. I don’t see this as a bad prediction, but I do think it would be a bad decision. Yahoo was losing users by the truckload when Google was an alternative (rather than being fully integrated). I think they’re going to return to equal or greater losses with a central database driven primarily by paid listings.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030716
SEO: The Holy Grail
Time
13:19
Today, The Universal Church of the Interactive Network is 127th in Yahoo for the generic search term ‘religion’. That’s an all-time high, folks. Convert today and bring us one step closer to the top.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030716
The Political Weblog Movement
Time
14:06
Hmm, here’s an interesting notion. Marc’s local MP is Phil Willis (who has committed the cardinal sin of using frames and therefore hiding most of his content from people who may care about it). Phil is the father of Rachel Willis.

Who she? She girl who, until recently, was face of AOL.

AOL has just announced the inclusion of weblog technology in the next version of its service.

I’m sure that, given time, even the most clueless PR hack will be able to put the pieces together.

On a lighter and brighter note, I met Carolyn Bennett on Monday night and she has very kindly furnished me with linkage.

Carol’s quite excited by the concept of blogging (her site already includes rolling updates, so she’s pretty much halfway there). If you live in Canada and ‘have the technology’ as they say, then perhaps you should get in touch and make an offer of help. Armed with Movable Type, there’d be no stopping her.

UPDATE – Oh, and there’s this from yesterday’s Guardian… Political blogs: a brief guide

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030716

Time
14:59
Interns, office relationships and email:

what could possibligh go wrong?

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030716
Photoshopping
Time
16:53

“I find your lack of faith disturbing…”

Big one’s over at B3ta.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030717
The Political Weblog Movement
Time
07:55
Here’s a list of every blogger who attended the recent seminar at Westminster.

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Date
20030717

Time
07:57
Some 19th century textbooks for you to enjoy (link via Ultimate Insult).

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Date
20030717
It’s War! And Somebody’s Telling Porkies!
Time
07:59
Why This Bush Lie? Part 1 (Hint: It wasn’t his first.)

Salon.com also nails down a whopper (registration required).

UPDATE – Sky suspends journalists over bogus story. The ‘launch’ of a cruise missile was staged from a docked vessel. Presumably, a wobbly cardboard set was not available at the time.

BTW, keeping troops in Iraq is costing us £150m a month.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030717
Follow Up
Time
08:02
Snopes.com really is on the ball lately. That intern breakup email blogged yesterday has not only been confirmed, it is quoted in full here. Have fun.

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Date
20030717
Christianity Watch
Time
08:04
Bishop charged over fondling woman in casino. Being highly intoxicated in a gambling den wasn’t quite enough of an expression of freedom, it seems. You can also add profanity to the charge-sheet, apparently he used ‘some nonbishop type language.’

Also, a New Mexico family is suing the local church over a funeral which did not go as expected. The priest allegedly said the deceased was ‘only a middling Catholic who was going straight to hell.’

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Date
20030717
Photoshopping
Time
08:08
London Mayor Mayor Ken Livingstone has offered a £100,000 reward to anyone who can invent a solution for keeping the underground cool. There are some outstanding ideas being aired over at the BBC, and the influence of the photoshopping community is clear. (Here’s one I made earlier.) Kids will be learning about us in art classes within the next decade, you just watch.

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Date
20030717

Time
08:16
How to handle a call from a suicidal person.

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Date
20030717

Time
08:16
Yay! It’s a genuine four-legged chicken.

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Date
20030717
Blogathon 2003
Time
08:21
A mystery donor has so far made two very generous pledges of $25, but I must admit to not recognising the nickname used. You know who you are, so please send me an email so I can let everyone else know.

If you haven’t sponsored yet, get the crowbar out and open your damn wallet.

Also, if you haven’t submitted a question for the day (anything you’ve ever wondered about me or Bloggerheads), then feel free to submit a question now.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030717
Universal Church of the Interactive Network
Time
08:25
The call-to-arms yesterday resulted in at least one convert. Welcome to the fold, Rich.

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Date
20030717
Back to Business
Time
08:28
I really think I’ve made the right decision – and at the right time. The whole Political Weblog thing looks set to tick along happily without me. And in the right direction. Job done; time to move on.

Added, on the e-commerce side of things, there is lots and lots and lots of good to be done. My main competitor seems to have a few funny ideas about ethics. I’m looking forward to blowing him out of the water with an honest and sustainable approach to search engine optimisation and online marketing in general.

The main benefit for you guys will be new and valuable content produced by people who can afford it (because they need your attention and genuinely wish to earn your respect).

Hell, I may even (finally) be able to convince one or two of them to open up and talk to us like human beings. Weblogs for MPs set an excellent precedent for this, but to sell the idea I do have to use wanky boardroom-speak like ‘in this case, the person is the brand.’

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Date
20030717

Time
10:37
OK, so this chap goes to test drive a Porsche a couple of weeks ago, at Chilham Sports Cars in Kent.

The car was advertised as having a full service history etc. but when he turned up, the car was a load of crap and they didn’t really give him the time of day.

Before this, CSC had a wonderfully comprehesive site at chilhamsportscars.co.uk – now there’s a new one with some important information for consumers at chilhamsportscars.com

The latter is well worth some Google-juice, IMO:

Chilham Sports Cars

Beware the voice of the publishing consumer.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030717
It’s War! And… ahhh, you know the rest by now.
Time
13:12
Bush’s Cover-Up Precedes the Scandal. Again, the path seems to lead back to ‘old-faithful,’ the so-called dodgy dossier. Convenient, and typical of our so-called special friendship.

Now, while we’re on the subject, let’s have a little fun:

Pop along to Downing Street’s website and type ‘dodgy dossier’ into the search engine there. Top result is… yep, you guessed it. Type in ‘fabrications’ and you get the same result.

Entertaining enough in itself, but let us explore further…

Type in ‘Iraq lies’ and the top result is this document claiming that the ‘Oil for food’ program is improving life in Iraq.

Type in ‘warmonger’ and the top result is Tony Blair’s statement opening the Iraqi debate back in March.

I’m sure there’s more. Go and play.








Posted in Uncategorized | Comments Off on 01-17 July, 2003

17-30 June, 2003

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Date
20030617

Time
08:30
My Domokun Kettle arrived this morning. I plan on using it at the office. When I get one.

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Date
20030617

Time
08:31
Man stabbed to death during chess game. Police say men ‘may have been drinking.’

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Date
20030617

Time
08:33
OK, so only 33 items were really stolen from the Iraqi National Museum (not counting the loot already in place at the British Museum) but I’m pretty sure that the 350 animals missing from Baghdad zoo weren’t spirited away into a cellar for safekeeping.

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Date
20030617
Riding High on Blogdex
Time
08:39
Hatfields and McCoys sign truce.

Is my memory playing tricks on me, or had a truce already been signed decades ago?

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Date
20030617

Time
08:41
Homeless serving as billboards. They’re paid in pizza, soda and ‘a few dollars.’ I’ll bet you more than a few dollars that they’re paid significantly less than your average human billboard.

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Date
20030617

Time
08:44
18th century emoticon found.

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Date
20030617
Delays, Delays, Delays
Time
08:45
Man stalks woman 30 years after taking her to the prom. He told police he had been trying to get the ‘nerve up’ to ask her out.

Man spends 5 years awaiting trial for murder. He was aquitted in 15 minutes.

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Date
20030617

Time
08:49
What is it with drive-throughs and crime? This undercover officer spent close to a month dressed as a McDonald’s employee. Keeping a sharp eye out for naughty behaviour in customers’ cars, he made six arrests and issued 29 citations. The (law-abiding) owner of the restaurant didn’t know anything about it, and now he’s as mad as hell.

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Date
20030617

Time
08:55
Interaction with people from different walks of live and access to multiple channels of communication is widening our personal political spectrum. For me, the main effect of the Interwebnet is an overwhelming disappointment that none of the related graphs are shaped like a willy.

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Date
20030617
Christianity Watch
Time
08:59
Cherbear’s Den is absolutely the final word in Christian children’s literature and fine illustration. The Kids Cave and Teen Caverns warrant special attention.

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Date
20030617
The Political Weblog Movement
Time
09:05
The Times reports on Tom Watson’s weblog. This link requires paid registration from dirty foreigners, so here’s the guts of it:

“With perhaps half a million people in the UK sharing their thoughts via personal weblogs, it is remarkable that elected politicians are failing to use the medium to communicate more vital matters with their constituents. They could publish when and what they wanted, offer instant comment on the day’s news, and push the issues that concern them. Yet only Tom Watson, MP for West Bromwich East, is currently doing so.”

I’m hoping to change this situation very, very soon.

UPDATE – Take time out of your day to welcome Richard Allan MP to the wonderful world of weblogs. I was very impressed by the very early post about Blog Aims.

BTW, I found this via my now-daily use of Technorati, which brought up this post by Simon Willison. Simon notes with a knowing smile that Richard is a Liberal Democrat spokesman on information technology. Perhaps he can have a word with his colleague Lembit Öpik, who is aware of the technology but has yet to bite the bullet.

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Date
20030617

Time
12:25
Like me, you’ve probably received a few variations of this email from the ‘invincible spammer,’ with wonderfully endearing passages such as:

”Why are we so successful?? 1. Because, simply put, NO ONE can bring us down! And 2. Because we and because when you get right down to it, PEOPLE ARE LIKE SHEEP, and if the “sheep” get enough e-mail shoved at them, the sheep WILL become customers!”

On closer inspection, these repeat emails seem to be part of what is known as a ‘Joe Job’ (where someone sends spam while posing as another web user in order to get that user into trouble). Folks in news.admin.net-abuse.email seem to think so, too.

In fact, given that it taunts the user so blatantly and follows this with a comprehensive list of contact addresses and personal phone numbers – and targets one of the few spammers to actually make the news (Richard Schueler: 1, 2) – I’d say this is a pretty fair bet.

Then again, it could very well be the world’s cheekiest double-bluff.

The ‘victims’ (myrxbiz.com) are, after all, able to proudly claim that they run the ‘#1 online pharmacy affiliate program’ and still keep a straight face.

Sure, I could follow the money by doing a WHOIS of all the URLs linked in the mail or maybe chase up who runs the 1-800 numbers you have to call to ‘unsubcribe from this genuine opt-in list,’ but life is too short.

If anyone comes across a site obsessive enough to nail this one down, do please drop me a line. I’d love to see how the whole thing turns out.

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Date
20030617
Flash Music Video
Time
14:09
OK… Spain. Have we done Spain yet?

Viva el pop geek!

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Date
20030617
The Political Weblog Movement
Time
15:48
Technorati tells me that Richard Allan is already enjoying fresh linkage from Al and Lance. Richard has also been kind enough to blogroll me. Can you feel the love, brethren?

I’d also like to introduce you all to the freshly formed weblog of James Mills, Conservative Councillor for Standlake, Aston & Stanton Harcourt.

Both Richard and James have been added to the Why Politicians Need Weblogs page.

While we’re on the subject, do check out the eye-straining but thought-provoking ‘e-Democracy exchange’ over at Big Blogger. The recent Cluetrain-inspired post is dead-on.

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Date
20030617

Time
16:15
Ahahahahaha! A great find by Tom: The Italian arm of Powergen is available at the following wonderful, wonderful URL. Amazingly, no-one thought to add a dash where it would do the most good:

www.powergenitalia.com

This is not only highly embarrassing for Powergen; it has also robbed a potential penis-enlarging spammer of a valuable and downright catchy domain name.

(And before you threadwaste… it’s already been posted to B3ta 1,263 times. Don’t bother. Bloody hell – and now I see that it was in Friday’s NTK. How the hell did I miss that?)

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Date
20030618

Time
08:41
Earn yourself 10 grand by pimping your girl friends.

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Date
20030618
Does What It Says On The Tin
Time
08:42
www.bootlegactionfigures.com

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Date
20030618
Riding High on Blogdex
Time
08:45
We’re all a bunch of lying sickos. We all steal, too. Best quote from the former article?

“So which is the bigger threat to America? The big companies or the criminals at the computer?”

I think the biggest threat is, and always has been, people with their head so far up their arse that they can see what’s for breakfast tomorrow. I found it quite interesting that, after this regular ‘Memo’ piece, he didn’t have time for ‘The Most Ridiculous Item of the Day.’

UPDATE – Here’s another blogger’s thoughts on Mr O’Reilly’s rant, which links to an even better point-by-point post by yet another blogger. Follow your nose.

UPDATE 2 – This MSNBC article is even better. It intertwines with blogger’s comments, and even uses Technorati to guide you to more recent information. I’d like to see more of this – and not just in articles about the Interwebnet.

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Date
20030618

Time
08:52
“I’m gonna get Truckasaurus on yo ass, boy!”

Business owner chases and runs over robbery suspects in his Humvee. (Includes wonderful picture and even better reader survey: ‘Should a business owner who ran over a group of robbery suspects in his Hummer face charges?’)

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Date
20030618

Time
09:02
Shit! Look at the time!

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Date
20030618
Frequently Arsed Questions
Time
09:03
“Why can’t I make comments on your weblog?”

Because I want you to make comments on yours. Oh, you don’t have a weblog? Well, now we’re getting closer to the point…

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Date
20030618

Time
09:09
The great Blogspot Exodus. Dean’s pushing the hard stuff. Well worth the move, IMO. I’m thinking of doing the same (but I’ll still be hiding my archives from Google). Only problem is, I blog like a bloody madman. There’s months and months of material to shift over to any new format, and even with a clever macro device of some sort, it would still take about 6 weeks to modify and transfer all of the old data. For now, I think I’ll stick to being somewhat of an anachronism. Unless, of course, anyone wants to pay me to take 6 weeks off work…

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Date
20030618

Time
09:16
From a journalist who was at last week’s blog conference

Companies get into weblog act:

“The best blogs don’t just deliver authoritative information; they resonate with the personalities of their creators.”

Well said.

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Date
20030618

Time
09:26
‘Virgin Mary in hospital window’ claim poo-pooed by the Vatican.

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Date
20030618

Time
09:29
Man keeps wife captive for two years in impenetrable fortress fashioned from boards, nails, combination padlocks, and quite a few sheets of aluminium foil. What, no duct tape?

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Date
20030618

Time
09:32
George Bush looks to be gearing up for the next election: a new program is set to expand the internet-voting capability of military and overseas voters. If you’ve read Stupid White Men, you’ll know why this is so significant.

Incidentally, just before the war, Michael Moore’s forums were down ‘temporarily’ for ‘technical reasons.’ Now the forums have been completely removed from the navigation bar like they never existed at all. This, we can assume, has also been done purely for ‘technical reasons.’

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Date
20030618
Tony Blair’s Email
Time
09:49
Still no word from Tim Yeo. Tomorrow, it will be a full week since I emailed him. Don’t make me get angry, Tim.

BTW, some good did come of the lame stunt. A statement came from No.10 that went beyond the ‘in the new year’ promise that we’re all so familiar with. Someone, somewhere, let slip with the promise of delivery ‘in the coming weeks.’

I plan on holding them to that.

So, do you think that I should give them 2, 4 or 6 weeks before cutting loose again with a fresh clue-by-four? Emails to the usual address.

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Date
20030618
The Political Weblog Movement
Time
11:23
Here’s someone who just started a blog and three or four posts in he asks his MP to do the same:

“These are people that represent us. We voted for them. I think this is a fantastic way for people to have access to them and get to know them a bit better. I have no idea how my MP usually votes, or where he stands on most issues. If I read his/her weblog frequently, I think I’d be in a better position to judge whether I wanted that person to represent me.”

This certainly is turning out to be a jolly week.

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Date
20030618
Telemarketers
Time
11:26
“Hello, is Mr Bacon there?”

This cute article includes a link for people who want to go on a no-call list in North Dakota. There are links to a bunch of other state-by-state services here. Why no national service like we have here in the UK? What am I missing?

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Date
20030618

Time
12:25
Yet another new blog tool. Like Blogdex, only faster. Thanks, Rich.

Pretty snappy stuff, but it lacks one important feature that makes Blogdex the Daddy – the ability to roll over a charted link to see a range of comments from different linkers and also click through to a page that lets me see a more comprehensive breakdown of who said what as they linked.

Did you get all that?

Sorry, someone’s using a weed-whacker outside my window, and it’s very hard to think straight WITH ALL THIS BLOODY NOISE!

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Date
20030618

Time
14:40
Taliban staging a wilful comeback. I saw a bit of news on this last night. The U.S. still has troops in the region, but I’m not sure if they’re the best and brightest. One marine who was interviewed by the BBC said:

“The locals like to come out and take pop-shots at us.”

The filthy beasts!

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030618
The Political Weblog Movement
Time
14:47
Plenty of link love is rolling in for Richard Allan. Ernie the Attorney enhanced his link with some excellent comments:

“This blogging thing isn’t for every politician. Some politicians have specialised handlers that control the press, or at least control it sufficiently to ‘get their message out.’ They don’t worry if the press doesn’t get into detail because there is no detail being given out. If you have a simplistic message, then you sure as hell don’t want to post it on the web where people can see it for what it is. Blogs are as interesting to those types of politicians as sunshine is to cockroaches.”

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Date
20030618
Spamwatch
Time
16:14
CP Direct managed to shift $74 million in penis/breast/ego/etc. enlarging pills, and would be operating still had they not decided to also illegally charge consumers’ credit cards.

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Date
20030618
Tony Blair’s Email
Time
16:39
I’ve just checked my ‘Sent Items’ folder and it looks like Tim Yeo has until about midday tomorrow to get back to me by email before a full week has passed. Right now I’m standing by and ready to start ‘shopping.

You don’t necessarily have to apologise, Tim – just practice what you preach and answer my bloody email!

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030619
The Political Weblog Movement
Time
00:07
The following is a reply to an email questioning a number of matters relating to political weblogs. The person I’m replying to is quite right to play devil’s advocate, but to prove my point I pretty much had to go public with the reply.

The original email (that I’m not at liberty to blog) questioned the motives of politicians who might in future set out to abuse this channel in the same way that those loveable rascals from Richards Interactive did with the Raging Cow fiasco. It also questioned the true effectiveness of ‘mere’ online support, citing the recent failure of Gary Hart to secure that all-important nomination. Howard Dean may have garnered some beefy support of ye olde-fashioned new-meedja nature, but Gary Hart is currently the only U.S. politician with a genuine weblog. You want proof that it’s genuine? Try the tone of this:

” In the coming days I will be returning the many contributions that were made to this website and to our effort. I know that many of you have many charities you are supporting. If you choose to do so, you might consider sending all or part of your original contribution to me to one of the several very worthy efforts I support…”

If I’m wrong or even just kind of weak on any front, please feel free to comment. On your own damn weblog.

Sorry there’s no permalink. If enough people ask nicely, I’ll draw up a static page.

Cheers all.

Note – This entry will be forward-dated to midnight (once it passes) to simplify my archives. I have some rather dull and quite demanding work to do tomorrow, so this could well be the only post for the 19th. Sorry about that.

Hey (insert name here),

As it happens, I’ve been thinking about quite a few of the points you’ve raised (just in the last 24 hours) because the recent appearance of another MP’s weblog just raised the bar.

I’m not sure if I blogged this point or sent it off to a marketing mailing list, but I have acknowledged that there is a honeymoon period that will not last. The only other MP to get that ‘hey, look!’ effect automatically will be a Conservative MP.

After this, it will be a race to engage. A good thing, then, that engagement is the key.

Distancing myself from the creation of Tom’s blog, then, I can honestly tell you that I have become more interested in him as a person. Granted, I’ve had the rare privilege of facetime with the man, but a good blog can have this same effect.

Because I have established a relationship with Tom, I’m prepared to lend him my ear from time to time about matters that may or may not interest me. (If you’re married, I’m sure you can relate.)

As a result, I’ve read quite a few documents and pretty much ‘sat in’ on a few debates that I otherwise wouldn’t have given a damn about. A simple morphing of the ‘press release’ section into a faux-blog does not achieve this. Who’d visit? Who’d care?

The same goes for my blog – and you’ll have to trust me when I tell you that I have experienced the flipside. When I went into a recent spiral of political turmoil and introspection, I noticed my regular readership dropping considerably. There was far too much of ‘I think this!’ and not enough ‘Hey, isn’t this interesting?’

Talk of kittens has its place, and plays an important role.

We as readers have to be given a sense of person as well as purpose. Radio and television have allowed past politicians to express aspects of this in the past and – granted – many may have succeeded purely because of their ability to ‘play’ on their chosen communication channel.

Churchill understood the value of radio and played it well. It has been alleged that he actually had a voiceover stand-in for many broadcasts – but no-one was free to talk back to their radio.

Kennedy made great TV. This kept that supreme arsehole Nixon at bay for a time, but those small voices who would perhaps mention that they worked as an intern but were mostly paid to give the JFK blowjobs had no way to speak out (if, indeed, there were a time when their mouths weren’t full).

The closest precedent I can cite is the advent of moveable type leading to the publication of Bibles for everyone. Not just media owners (sorry, better make that ‘religious leaders’).

Suddenly everyone was free to read and interpret this all-powerful book. And publish their own thoughts on its true meaning.

Some of the biggest opinion formers of this time where known as ‘pamphleteers.’

We, as bloggers, are the pamphleteers of the 21st century.

Added, the blog system is self-correcting. Even if Google discounts them (a paranoid claim by a complete arsehole that has recently been refuted) people have had a taste of what they can offer. They will seek out an aggregator of a similar nature if they are robbed of it via their usual channel.

Blogs give everyone a voice. And a willingness to listen. When it counts.

A politician is not a god. Or even a demi-god. They need help to make things happen. I’ve seen this happen in some small way on Tom’s blog when he took on the local store with a litter problem and in many other ways on my own site.

It can also happen in a larger sense, as when folks search for info on air gun laws and are drawn via Google to Tom’s posts on the matter.

But if we don’t give a damn about Tom as a person, then we’re not going to get off our arse for him, now are we?

It also has to be added here that nothing really happens as a result of a mere link or search result.

But…

People exposed to ‘exclusive’ information in any shape or form often feel empowered enough to tell others about it. Not just by email, not just via their blog; but in real life as well.

If the information proves to be valuable, then these people draw an audience. A real-life audience. An audience that listens.

They knew first about this. They warned you about that. They’re worth listening to. This is how one small spark can spread to people actually willing to do something beyond committing to the Jedi religion for a laugh.

Another ‘but’…

I’ve tried to drive a few things forward on Bloggerheads, and it’s only the core audience that actually does anything. If what I try to do is too damn commercial or somewhat misguided, then I’m usually questioned or corrected (gently) on these matters.

If I try to do something Right, suddenly I find myself with new core members. Funny, that.

I’ve got to tell you, this is the best moral compass I have ever come across.

Being in the marketing game (maybe one evolutionary step up or down from the political game) I’m often prone to corruption.

Now I simply can’t afford to take that risk – but I’m enjoying greater benefits than I ever have before. And. I. Fucking. Love it!

Now I can simply float an idea to see who wants to make it a reality.

Now I can engage people all over the globe and actually make things happen.

But only if I strike the right chord.

There’s this feeling you get when you first encounter the Interwebnet. That ‘wow, millions of users at my fingertips’ feeling that leads to so many misguided missives about politics, religion, or the latest way to enlarge your penis.

Most of these are drowned in everyday noise and die a deserving death, but those that matter do rise to the top.

A human voice cannot be faked (and even if it can at a level enough to fool some, this deception is sure to be mentioned by those who are a little smarter about such things).

The result?

This is honest, unedited information, but open to comment that can lead to the growth, or destruction, of any given idea.

The more reasonable and/or altruistic the idea, the more likely it is to succeed.

The catch?

The idea – and the person delivering it – have to be pretty damn engaging and worthy of our trust.

If they aren’t, well, we’re sure to hear about that instead.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030619
The Political Weblog Movement
Time
00:10
Al has, as suggested, blogged his letter to his local representative asking them to get blogging.

Sorry, I forgot to use the word ‘blog’ there.

BLOG!

Happy now?

I’ve yet to do the same, but as I’ve already emailed, called and hounded Sue Doughty’s office for months on this matter, I fear any new messages may be taken out of context. They’d probably start with ‘Oi!’ and go downhill fast from there.

(For pity’s sake! Her office is 10 minutes away from my webshed, and I can pretty much turn up there at a moment’s notice. Can she not find the time to at least talk to me about this?)

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030619

Time
00:21
It’s not often that El Reg will place a plug so blatantly, but here, it’s well-deserved. As Scott notes, £171 ain’t much – but it’s a start.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030619

Time
08:38
Wow. Now every day can be May Day. I’m just about to post this to the Urban75 forums.

“Hey where did all these people come from? Wait a minute – where did everybody go?”

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030619
It’s War! And We’re Ready To Believe Anything!
Time
08:43
Place not your trust in common sense:

A third of the American public believes U.S. forces have found weapons of mass destruction in Iraq.

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Date
20030619
Voice Of Experience
Time
08:49
You may wish to keep the following in mind:

It is not a good idea to teach your spell checker dirty words.

I got into the habit a long time ago of clicking the ‘Add’ button instead of ‘Ignore’ if a non-dictionary word cropped up here or there (this saves me time if I wish to use non-dictionary words like, say, ‘blog’).

However… because I have been known to use filthy language in the past and have out of sheer habit added an unsavoury word or two to the dictionary, yesterday I came *this* close to sending an email warning that: ‘there are sections that may need to be felched out.’

The danger is there. You have been warned.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030619
The Political Weblog Movement
Time
08:54
Take a sneaky-peek into the life of an MP:

Questions to the PM: The Limelight Lottery

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030619
Tony Blair’s Email
Time
09:46
This is a picture of Tim Yeo. It will change before your very eyes in just over two hours from now. Unless, of course, he gets off his bum and emails me before then.

UPDATE – The Guardian is at it again. Check out the following back-handed acknowledgement:

“Tim Yeo, shadow trade and industry secretary, last week followed a legion of cyber bores in pointing out that Tony Blair does not have a public email address.”

Legion are we? Boring is it?

“Like most good political japes, Yeo’s stunt scores because it exposes a genuine weakness.”

Ex-squeeze me? Bloggerheads exposed this weakness months and months and months and months ago. And that was only step one. But obviously this doesn’t count because it’s just another sodding website.

If it weren’t for the push from Bloggerheads and support from readers (including one or two MPs), Blair’s communications team would not be moving on this at all. At all.

Eight months of my life hijacked by a Conservative with a bloody Hotmail address. I’m getting increasingly upset about this.

Tim Yeo is an asshat. And he eats children’s eyeballs.

(I know I’m an hour early with the first pic, but dammit I’m angry.)

Tim Yeo wants to be involved with the project? Fine. Then he should be prepared to get naked. A lot.

He wants publicity? He’s going to get it in spades.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030619
The Tim Yeo Project
Time
12:02
Right, there you have it. A week has passed. Tim Yeo, the man so concerned about the PM’s lack of email address, can’t even answer his own bloody email.

He doesn’t even have a website. But we can soon fix that.

UPDATE – Yup, we sure can. Tim Yeo – The Weblog is live. That took about 5 minutes. About the same amount of time it takes to set up a Hotmail address. I feel so dirty.

A week is a long time in politics. This time next week, search results for ‘Tim Yeo’ are going to be interesting to say the least.

Far be it from me to steal material from another website, but this just has to be said:

I’m about to get 21st century on his ass.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030619
A Blog Is Born
Time
13:31
Hooray! Long-time Usenutter ickle sheep has just started a blog. You’ll like ickle. We’ve shared beer on many occasions. It’s not easy with only one straw, but we get by.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030619
Tim Yeo: Campaign Hijacker
Time
15:53
A special page has been created to acknowledge Tom Yeo’s grand contribution to the Tony Blair email campaign. The first nude image is already live. When will the nonsense end? When I get due credit for work done to date – and an apology from Tim Yeo – on the Conservatives website and in at least one major newspaper.

Lesson to be learned: If you mess with a turtle, expect to get flippered.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030619
Flash Music Video
Time
17:06
JPEG Baby is only getting about 500 views a day at the mo, but perhaps it’s worth considering a suitable replacement for Terry Wogan. Now, let me see, who would make an excellent candidate…

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030620
The Political Weblog Movement
Time
07:43
Whoa! Cool your jets, people.

I was worried this might happen. Ickle has started a weblog on behalf of his MP. I’ve actually considered this as an option to push the whole MP weblog thing forward, but caution is required.

If there’s a sudden rash of weblogs ‘on behalf of’ MPs that show what they should be doing, then this could very well work – but if the only story that reaches them has a negative spin (e.g. ‘Weblogs Attack MPs’), then that’s all they’re going to want to know about weblogs and they’re going to run a mile.

If you’re going to do this, do try to show your fluffy side, folks. Help them to understand weblogs. Make them want a weblog. You may also want to link to Richard Allan and Tom Watson in the nav-bar so they can see what a real MP weblog looks like. Above all, be nice.

Unless, of course, the MP in question is, say, a hijacking hypocrite who’s stolen 8 months of your work for his own benefit. In which case, feel free to go completely bonkers. Who am I to say no?

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030620

Time
07:52
Scott never learned Oatmeal Box Pinhole Photography at school. I did. (Nerny-nerny-ner-ner!) In fact, I went to a school for gifted children, so we were trusted to (*gasp*) actually make our own box.

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Date
20030620
Clue-By-Four Required
Time
07:56
Oh, FFS. Some idiot company just hassled groovymother.com for using the word ‘clue by four’ because – wait for it – they own the trademark and are ‘in the process of bringing that product to market.’

They’re sure to be after me next. There’s quite a few indexed references from Bloggerheads in Google’s database and countless others in my archives.

Well, good luck to them. I have the feeling they’re going to be their own best customer.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030620

Time
08:08
U.S. Rep. Mark Foley targets nudist summer camp for teenagers. There’s more info about the camp in this article by the New York Times (requires registration).

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Date
20030620

Time
08:13
Police shut down little girl’s lemonade stand. She didn’t have a temporary business permit. Seriously.

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Date
20030620
Murdoch is a Bastard
Time
08:15
Media bill under threat as Lords warm to ‘Murdoch’ amendment. Hurray for the House of Lords! May Dog bless one of our few remaining safety-valves.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030620
Tim Yeo’s Hotmail Account Terminated
Time
08:23
Oh dear, whatever can this mean?

This Message was undeliverable due to the following reason:

Each of the following recipients was rejected by a remote mail server.

The reasons given by the server are included to help you determine why each recipient was rejected.

Recipient: rthontonyblairmp@hotmail.com

Reason: Requested action not taken: mailbox unavailable

Perhaps it has something to do with this:

Hello Tim ,

We have taken appropriate action in accordance with the MSN Terms of Use (TOU) on the account: rthontonyblairmp@hotmail.com that you reported.

You can view our rules and regulations at:

http://privacy.msn.com/tou/default.asp

MSN Hotmail Customer Support

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Date
20030620

Time
08:27
A third of of Australians cruise through life stoned. It’s the only way to silence the voices…

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030620
Tim Yeo: Campaign Hijacker
Time
09:32
The Tim Yeo Nude Gallery has been updated with the following image entitled: ‘Modesty Above All.’

We thank you.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030620

Time
10:04
Senator Hatch, the man who wants to blow up your computer if you use copyrighted material without permission, uses an unlicensed copy of a JavaScript menu system on his official website. (Cheers to Mark for the heads-up. I missed it on Blogdex this morning.)

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030620
It’s War! And Somebody’s Telling Porkies!
Time
14:18
Christian Science Monitor: Galloway papers deemed forgeries. I just heard on the radio that good ol’ George has refused to accept their apology. But the Telegraph is standing its ground, too. They claim that their document is completely different from the six pages upon which the CSM based its story. The Telegraph document was also tested by CSM, and judged to be ‘genuine.’ And, we can assume, mysteriously fire-proof.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030620
Flash Music Video
Time
16:03
JPEG Baby is getting hundreds and hundreds of lovely visitors, thanks to pluggage by Vancouver radio station, 99.3 the FOX. A big hello to everybody who made it to the main blog.

HELLLLOOOOOOO!

We’d like you to hassle more radio stations, please. Call and request ‘JPEG Baby’ today. We want worldwide airplay without a record deal. Just to make a point.

Total page views since launch: 57,570

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Date
20030620

Time
16:18
Google calls in the ‘language police’. Fair enough, this one – they created the word. But to be included in the dictionary and used in everyday language is actually pretty cool. Almost priceless when it means free plugs on TV shows like ER. And it helps Robbie Williams to get laid. That’s got to be a good thing. The poor guy meets women in the U.S. and when he first gives them his name they (probably) usually say: “You know, you’re not as old/hairy/funny as I thought you would be. Go on, do ‘Mork’ for me.”

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030620
The Political Weblog Movement
Time
17:55
From Richard Allan, Lib-Dem MP and blogger:

“It has been a splendid first week’s blogging. I’ve had more comments in one week than my regular website received in months – I knew the format was strong but am still mightily impressed.

“And, what’s more, I’ve really enjoyed it! It really is a very engaging way to carry on a conversation with lots of people on subjects of mutual interest.”

More words of wisdom at the blog itself. Go visit. If you’re an MP, pay attention!

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030621
Tim Yeo – Where Is The Apology?
Time
00:37
Tim, don’t talk to your lawyers. They just want money.

Me…? I just want an apology..

Just email me like a goddamn gentleman, and I guarantee that you will be amazed at how fast things can change.

Do nothing, and I guarantee that you will be amazed at how fast things can change.

One email. You remember email, don’t you? You were hassling the PM about it just last week….

In fact, if you get off your arse fast enough, you can be the first ever Conservative MP with a weblog – plus win a massive and appreciative audience into the bargain! And all you have to do is (*shock-horror*) admit that you’re human.

And do you know what?

If you won’t be the first Conservative MP with a weblog, somebody else from your party will.

However…

If you step up to the plate now… If you present yourself honestly.. If you get online and Join. The. Sodding. Conversation… you can not only turn this thing around, you can give me a genuine nosebleed.

Walk the walk. Embrace technology. Start a weblog.

Conversations are the future. Come and talk with us, or stand back and watch us talk about you. At length. With illustrations.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030622

Time
12:18
Police have arrested a man who gatecrashed Prince William’s 21st birthday party at Windsor Castle last night. Please, please, please let this unnamed man be Karl Power.

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Date
20030622

Time
12:22
Bloggerheads is now listed at blogwise.com (the specific listing is here). I’ll have a play with the system tomorrow, or maybe sometime today when my hangover recedes to a dull roar.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030622
Flash Music Video
Time
12:25
JPEG Baby is big in Japan again after a listing at this site. The song also got another airing on WZBC 90.3FM thanks to Steve. Cheers, mate.

Now, if I can manage to finagle a record deal, do you think we could run a successful campaign to have this joyful little wankfest top the charts? I’m dying to appear on Top of the Pop Shots.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030622

Time
12:45
I went to a wedding yesterday and met a lot of very nice people. Some of them may end up here this afternoon.

Hello.

That very long story about Tony Blair starts here.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030623
It’s War! And I’m Confused!
Time
08:26
“The museum wasn’t looted; most items where taken downstairs for storage.”

Ah, but now we find that the storerooms have been looted. The next development is sure to be a claim that the storerooms weren’t looted; concerned citizens (and some foreign journalists) merely took individual items home for safekeeping.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030623
Riding High on Blogdex
Time
08:27
Democrats Go Off the Cliff. It’s very worrying to live in a country without a cohesive and effective opposition. If these guys don’t get their act together, 2004 will be a cakewalk for The Evil One.

Interestingly, this is also charting well today:

“The Democrats seem unable to locate an issue with which to oppose Bush, most having voted for everything he’s requested to date. May I suggest the truth? The single image Bush has promoted is flag-waving hero of the Republic. The evidence proves he is a coward.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030623

Time
08:28
Do you suffer from Sexsomnia?

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030623

Time
08:31
More Barbies than you can poke a non-articulated limb at. Neo-Nazi Barbie comes with the following disclaimer from the artist:

“Please note: I do not endorse nazis. Nor do I endorse Barbies.”

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030623

Time
08:33
Media blitz ensures the return of little girl’s lemonade stand. Police and city officials have caught most of the flak, but the curtain-twitching Grinch behind the complaint that forced them to act remains happily anonymous.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030623

Time
08:37
And you think that I have too much time on my hands? Summaries of The Price Is Right will bring tears to your eyes – even if it does only cover seasons 28, 29, 30 and 31. The design, BTW, shows very clearly why JPEGs never can and never will be able to take the place of GIFs.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030623

Time
08:40
Visitors flocking to see the (alleged) apparition of the Virgin Mary in a window of Milton Hospital have been interfering with staff and patients, so administrators have put a tarp over the window. Now, instead of a lot of curious people filling the car park, they have a lot of angry people filling the car park.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030623
Christianity Watch
Time
08:41
How long has it been since you visited Bibleman?

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030623

Time
08:43
The Corporate Blog Is Catching On (requires registration).

Core messages to take away:

1. Personality is the key

2. Use a trusted employee

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030623

Time
08:47
A wonderful gallery of pre-prohibition products (via Ultimate Insult). I love the coca-wine that promotes itself as a cure for addication to opium or alcohol.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030623
Welcome to the 21st Century
Time
08:53
See George Bush falling off a Segway.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030623

Time
08:54
School bus driver asks children for directions and is taken on 20-mile detour. It took him two hours to complete a 10-minute journey.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030623
Tim Yeo: Campaign Hijacker
Time
08:56
There’ll be some more Tim Yeo action here and at the weblog later today. Today’s gallery inclusion is a submission, and I’m just trying to clear up the matter of a credit link.

Google results should be in my tomorrow morning. Here’s hoping that Tim sees sense before then and gets in touch.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030623
Updates
Time
12:42
If you’ve been here for a while, you probably already know that the ‘follow me’ section of the nav-bar is – primarily – a listing of sites, portals of communities that I visit every day. As my habits change, it becomes necessary to update this section of the nav-bar.

Today, changes have been made in order to trim sites that I no longer visit as much as I used to, and to include technorati and zfilter.

A new category has also been added to represent a new and growing interest in weblogs by MPs. I hope this will soon grow so out of control that it will have to be removed from the nav-bar and put on a separate page where it can enjoy more elbow-room.

Finally, a long-overdue personal, professional and political profile had been added to the site (and is linked under the ‘who he?’ section of the nav-bar).

That is all.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030623
Mustard Man
Time
13:08
Mike ‘Nug’ Nahrgang (see ‘Mustard Man’ for details) is participating in the 2003 Canadian National Finals of the World Beer Games. There’s a bunch of folks over at Fark having fun with one of the images right now. Enjoy.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030623
Music
Time
13:29
Anyone here from in and around Sydney? Make time to go and see Anthony Snape perform live this week. Those little hairs on the back of your neck will thank you for it. Oh, and tell him I said ‘hi.’

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030623

Time
16:42
This is a very nice piece on the recent Google (TM) hissy fit from Wordlab. The one thing Google can’t afford to do is piss people off or get heartlessly corporate – or try to reduce the way we use their brand in conversation. This is the trend that built their brand. Trying to reverse it seems somewhat backward.

A lot of ‘most popular search’ lists on other search engines are now often topped by the word (note ‘word’, not ‘brand’) ‘google.’

These days, the answer a lot of people give instead of “I don’t know!” or “Look it up!” is: “I don’t know. Have you googled it?”

I don’t want to be worried about the bloody trademark police every time I consciously or unconsciously refer new users to their service.

I’m hoping they’ll rethink this and get back to us.

If not, perhaps we can get DNA’s family to back us up on a strategic countersuit…

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030623

Time
16:55
Don’t let Bush being and arsehole blind you to the real threat of terrorism. I agree; the threat is there. Worse, the Bush administration is actually trying to use the threat to their advantage.

Incidentally, I was quite worried last month that the Big Brother house was a prime UK target (poor security, high visibility, low payload requirement, guaranteed footage, etc.) but now I’ve relaxed a bit. Nothing to do with decreased vigilance, it’s just become obvious that no-one is watching the damn thing.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030624

Time
08:27
Heh. Did George Bush fall off his Segway deliberately to support his chums in the oil industry?

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030624
Anybody But George
Time
08:29
Wesley Clark is dragging his heels, but Howard Dean has announced his candidacy. This has a few people excited, but I still think his faux-blog is pants.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030624
Riding High on Blogdex
Time
08:32
The American Apology Shirt allows you to travel in style, comfort and greatly increased safety, thanks to an important message printed clearly in Arabic, Chinese, English, French, Spanish, and Russian. Go and look. You’ll love it.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030624
Look It Up
Time
08:37
George Washington made his own whiskey. He also grew his own cannabis (and made at least one diary entry about separating the male and female plants, which is what you do if you want to use it for something besides making rope). Of course, it was Thomas Jefferson who penned ‘the pursuit of happiness’ into the constitution, but he was a notorious pothead, too.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030624

Time
08:42
That Honda ad (which I still think uses more than a little CGI trickery) won’t be screened in the U.S., as advertisers are worried that Americans won’t understand it. Perhaps they can add a little shouty person in the corner, then.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030624
Christianity Watch
Time
08:50
Smile, children! It’s Binkles the Christian Clown, and he’s here to to present a fun and funky lesson that will help you to memorise a bible verse, a few songs and an ‘unforgettable’ bible story. Most worrying of all, the site promises that: “an invitation to recieve (sic) Jesus as personal Savior and Lord is always given at the conclusion.”

(Link via fellow agnostic Scott.)

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030624
Flash Music Video
Time
08:55
Today, JPEG Baby reaches all the way to the sunny shores of Iceland. Total page views since launch: 62,963.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030624

Time
09:04
A Blogger’s Big-Fish Fantasy (requires registration).

Quite rightly notes that ‘linking to others gets links.’ But not always. Keep it in context, people. Have something to say.

For the record, I watch my stats a lot. I’m not so worried about traffic, more about patterns.

For instance, I know from my stats that there are at least 50 of you who deliberately tune in between 8:30am-9:30am (GMT) when I do the bulk of my blogging, presumably so you can have the pleasure of watching me correct my spoiling mistakes.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030624
Blogs and Money
Time
09:11
Here’s a little tool that lets you preview Adsense, the new blogvertising service from Google. It seems to think that I’d do best selling blog tools. Funny, that.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030624
Follow Up
Time
09:12
Can’t critic see camp is nude, but not lewd? So who’s doing the exploiting; the nudist camp, or Mark Foley?

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030624

Time
09:14
I scream, you scream… PossePops is the new ice confection being touted by none other than Ice T. They look like more or less like chocolate chipwiches, but each ice cream comes with a wrapper that dares you – in authentic street-speak – to say ‘no’ to drugs, wear a condom, and go to school.

“Eat + read + learn = word!” Yo!

In (arguably) related news, a novelty ‘shock’ pen sold though ice cream vans and local markets is causing chaos at the Dickey Elementary School in Ontario.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030624
Tim Yeo: Campaign Hijacker
Time
09:28
*sigh*

The tragedy is that this could have been avoided with a simple email last week.

Now I’m after a public apology on the Conservatives website and in a major newspaper (however, if Mr Yeo wishes to bury it bit, I suppose he can always slip this into the letters section or the personal ads).

To paraphrase another of this nation’s great public servants:

“The turtle’s *not* for tipping!”

Will I get my apology?

Well, let’s see…

This morning, searching for Tim Yeo brings up all sorts of wonderful results. The Tim Yeo: Campaign Hijacker page performs best, results for this are as follows:

AOL (#4)

Google (#4)

Yahoo! (#3)

These three search engines are the source of 75% of search engine traffic.

Tom Watson’s entry on the matter snuggles in just below this. The Tim Yeo Weblog rolls in late at #9, and – for today only – FunJunkie gives the whole issue a quick nod, courtesy of a sly change to their Page Title. Go and peek.

You may very well come to the conclusion that Tim Yeo has been ‘googlebombed,’ but such a suggestion is misleading, as Google has not provided the ammunition in this case; Tim has. A better term might be ‘tossbombed,’ then.

UPDATE – The nude gallery now contains a new, submitted image. This was supposed to go live yesterday. Sorry about that.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030624

Time
09:44
Did I blog that powergenitalia.com was a spoof? No? No matter: Snopes to the rescue.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030624
Flash Music Video
Time
11:26
More JPEG Baby forum-love over at this thread at techimo.com. Oh, and here’s some people that didn’t like it at all. At all.

Oh well. You can’t please everybody.

UPDATE – Damn, I’ve been meaning to blog this for ages. Jim Coleman wrote in with the following:

“I just wanted to say that JPEG Baby is possibly the worst piece of music I have ever heard. Why on earth have you made this?”

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030624
Tim Yeo: Campaign Hijacker
Time
11:57
Ahahahahahaha! Justice is done. A few visitors have turned up this morning looking for Tim Yeo’s email address.

Tell you what; I’ll give him 24 hours before publishing the two core addresses he uses on the ‘campaign hijacker’ page where they’ll be much, much easier to find. It’s my duty to Google to provide what people seek, after all.

I’ll be careful to drop a spamblock in, of course. I’m not a complete bastard.

On that note, I’ve emailed Tim Yeo (again) this morning. Maybe you’d care to as well.

Use either of these:

yeot AT parliament DOT uk

timyeomp AT parliament DOT uk

Be nice.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030624
It’s War! And Somebody’s Going To Pay!
Time
15:51
Dozens of children killed by mines and unexploded bombs every day in Iraq (contains disturbing images).

It made me want to spit bullets when Blair turned around after the million-strong march with the new-and-improved humanitarian justification. Now it could very well blow up in his face.

I wonder how many of these leftover devices the UK is responsible for?

I’m not quite sure how much good this petition will do, but if it makes you feel better you may as well sign your life away.

(Links via Joho and Earth-Info.)

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030624

Time
17:17
Hehehehe.

Tom just posted the following comment he got by email regarding the Teens page:

“just to let you kno, your teenz page is the most pathetic attempt at making politics relevant for the younger generation, I have seen in a long while…..Dont try getting down wiv the kidz, let the kidz get up to politics, its time for a real democracy…”

Of course, I can’t be too smug. I did fall for powergenitalia.com, largely because of the same assumption of ignorance.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030625
The Political Weblog Movement
Time
08:13
I wanted to get deeper into the whole pamphleteer/blogger thing, so I asked my Dad (who’s got the learnin’) to have a think about it and maybe send me some details.

The email he sent me is quoted in full below.

Dad isn’t 100% on blogs, so the fact that he pretty much nails it in the first paragraph confirms the parallel for me.

A few points before we go to the email:

1. There were many, many pamphleteers who frittered this opportunity away promoting recipes for cheesecake (or ye olde equivalent).

2. People aren’t as desperate for information as they were then, but after decades of corporate bullshit, they do crave a human voice.

3. I’m sure many of you will get to the end and say: “Ah! So that’s where he gets it from!”

Dear Tim,

It seems that you are right in what you say about pamphleteers being the bloggers of the past. There are a number of criteria that you need to take into consideration when taking a stance and writing on it, however. Firstly, the position and standing of the writer determines the spread of his views. Next, the topic itself must be of interest to a wide audience. Thirdly, the facts presented must bear a ring of truth either spun or unspun. The next point is that the audience must be persuaded to read the material, which is probably the greatest challenge.

The original pamphleteers had a great advantage. People, common people, were thirsty for any news they could get and so anything in print was read and believed by those who held similar views. The views were quoted to support arguments and so the writers of the pamphlets gained notoriety. As time went on, reputation came ahead of content. Today, reputation comes from having access to a column in the print media. People who haven’t are up against the celebrity factor from the start and the catch-up is difficult.

Topics on which pamphlets must be written today are an anathema to most of the apathy-ridden masses. Why do they need to listen to criticism or even think about the policies/decisions of a Government they didn’t vote for when their favourite team/celebrity is undergoing sex changes/ a slump/ bad hair days or what have you. They just don’t give a s***. They have been programmed by the media not to.

If they are inclined to listen, they are so acclimatised to spin being put on the truth that they disbelieve everything they cannot see or touch. Logic is difficult for many to apply, so they don’t. You need to make your facts very simple and very demonstrable, even if they are lies. Remember that the spin-doctors went to the Goebbels School of Propaganda and learned that the more often a lie is told, the sooner it becomes truth and that the bigger the lie, the more likely it is to be believed.

Finally, when you consider that the most that most people read of the news is the headlines outside the newsagents, That may be a worthy place to begin. Make up your own headlines. ‘PRIME MINISTER CAUGHT TELLING THE TRUTH FOR FIRST TIME’ would be immediately believed by everybody, and they would all be wondering what that truth was. Some would even follow up the story.

So you can see the problem you have in front of you. Your content can be the best in the world, truthful and hard-hitting but you are 350 years too late to get it out there easily. I like it, and agree with a lot of it, but you need more readers. How you get them is your greatest challenge.

I could write more, but that is the guts of it. Probably a greater reflection of my own cynicism than a critique, but there you are.

Best wishes

Dad

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030625

Time
08:18
Staffordshire county councillor caught speeding with speed camera he donated to local police.

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Date
20030625
Anybody But George
Time
08:24
This ‘sneak preview of the president’s 2004 campaign’ is charting well on Blogdex.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030625

Time
08:27
Roll over. Play dead. Good boy.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030625
Follow Up
Time
08:27
Crowd gathered at Milton Hospital claim to see second apparition on chimney.

”It’s another sign . . . there is hope for us all, with all that is going on in the world,” said one.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030625

Time
08:33
There are only a few weird and wonderful products in this modest collection, but I you just have to see the portable bedroom mirror.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030625

Time
08:35
Dog born with no forelegs learns to walk upright. It would have been a better story had the dog been born with no hind legs.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030625
Tim Yeo: Campaign Hijacker
Time
08:40
Searches for ‘tim yeo’ in Google now present the ‘campaign hijacker’ page at No.3 and the Tim Yeo weblog at No. 4 (with similar results appearing in AOL and Yahoo lagging behind – for the moment).

These new results and related linkage actually knock his profile at the Conservatives website pretty much out of the picture. This would have been much harder to do with a dedicated website. Especially so if there had been an audience willing to back him up in a similar way.

Hopefully a lesson learned, then.

A new image has been added to the nude gallery. It is entitled:

“The Afterglow of Power”

B3tans got a sneaky-peek at this last night. Unsurprisingly, it broke someone’s brain. Sorry about that.

Mr Yeo should take a closer look at the Tony Blair email campaign to see how long I carried on with that (plus maybe The Star Wars Photoshopping Project to see how long I carried on with that) before deluding himself into thinking that this will pass like a bad stone.

I want my apology.

Does he really want me taking him to task on every promise he makes during the next election?

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030625

Time
09:01
Beware the Paypal Scam!

It’s not the first time this has been done, but it may be the first time for you, so watch out:

Con artists have been sending fake emails purportedly from Paypal, asking members to confirm their username, password, credit card number, etc. etc. etc.

It’s a scam. Learn to spot them for your own protection.

No organisation like Paypal would email you requesting information in such a way. Would your bank call you out of the blue asking for your PIN number?

(In fact, there have been many recent scams just like this, too. The Paypal scam appears to be a mere e-copy of these.)

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030625
Tim Yeo: The Limited Offer
Time
13:15
The following is a complete and unedited copy of an email that is being sent to Tim Yeo in 5, 4, 3, 2…

Dear Mr Yeo,

Somehow I don’t think that this one small issue encapsulates everything you have done or are trying to do as an MP, but as far as 75% of web users who search for your name are concerned, it is presented as the primary issue.

In fact, it’s now presented ahead of your profile at Conservatives.com

Perhaps, then, the small threat of admitting that you actually made a mistake pales into insignificance in this case.

Let us hope so, because I’m about to show you my fluffier side and make a very kind offer. With a shelf-life of precisely 24 hours.

What I Need From You:

– Answer this email within 24 hours.

– Acknowledge that it was a bit cheeky of you to hijack an existing campaign and use it for your own ends.

– Apologise for same.

– Guarantee that you will seek no further publicity on this front and/or promise that you will acknowledge the contribution Bloggerheads has made should the issue come up again.

(optional)

– Ask a question in parliament designed to nail down an actual delivery date on a viable service for Tony Blair (the two previous questions are on record, so how carefully you need to word this question should be obvious).

Many folks that watch Bloggerheads are almost as angry about this as I am, so they’re going to want to see a result. Because of this, I will need to blog your reply in part or total (so please keep this in mind when drafting it).

However, this strictly limited offer does negate the need for you to publish your apology at Conservatives.com and via a major newspaper. Also…

What I Offer In Return:

If we can settle this promptly to the satisfaction of my readers (and myself), it makes sense to simply draw a line under it from there and call it a day. So…

– The Tim Yeo – Campaign Hijacker page will be amended to display the true nature of this issue (i.e. as a simple, and corrected, misunderstanding).

– All nude images (and references to same) will be removed from this page.

– The Tim Yeo weblog will be shut down and removed entirely.

Why This Makes Sense:

I can stop. I can release my vice-like grip. Some form of spiked hammer is not necessary. I cannot, however, guarantee the same of anybody else who comes along and considers this situation to be well out of order. This means that you not only have to worry about escalation of activity from myself, but also from other users who may wish to use you as an IT punching-bag.

The longer this issue is out there and as prominent as this, the greater that risk is. God forbid that a journalist should decide to research your name sometime in the next few days.

I urge you to get in touch today and settle this.

There are more important things in life, and I’d like to get on with them.

I am sure that you feel the same.

Regards,

Tim Ireland

https://www.bloggerheads.com/

(Please note that this email to you has been blogged in its entirety.)

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030625

Time
13:45
Young Rich will want to be quick if he’s planning on dropping by with a ‘Tim Yeo Nude’ submission. I’m hoping that the whole issue will be done with by this time tomorrow.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030625

Time
15:12
Bloggers! Behold your prophet!

“There is one mind common to all individual men. Every man is an inlet to the same and to all of the same. He that is once admitted to the right of reason is made a freeman of the whole estate. What Plato has thought, he may think; what a saint has felt, he may feel; what at any time has be-fallen any man, he can understand. Who hath access to this universal mind is a party to all that is or can be done, for this is the only and sovereign agent.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson

It looks like we have a pretty strong candidate for sainthood here.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030625

Time
15:22
Be warned that Defend Your Castle may look simple at first, but is incredibly addictive once you get past Stage 3 or 4. For full enjoyment – Read. The. Instructions! (Found via FunJunkie.)

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030625

Time
15:48
An almost-live blow-by-blow of Alastair Campbell facing the WMD inquiry. Go watch! (Link via Tom Watson.)

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030625
Welcome to Winston’s World
Time
16:16
The government’s Criminal Justice Bill plans to give police powers to take DNA samples from anybody who has been arrested. Not just those that have been charged. I’m not terribly happy about that. Just standing up for my rights on May Day could have been enough to get me arrested. Sure, the whole thing would be cleared up pretty sharpish (I would hope), but my life would still be on a database somewhere. Operated by the Chuckle Brothers, no doubt.

Are they seriously telling us that such a database would be immune to corruption or incompetence?

Just like with bloody GM food, it’s full speed ahead, and damn the consequences.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030625
It’s War! And Somebody’s Going To Pay!
Time
17:58
When put on the spot, Alastair Campbell admitted that Californian student Ibrahim al-Marashi was indeed owed an apology. Why? Well, his work was lifted from the Internet without credit or recompense, and then misused with a highly political agenda.

Are you paying attention, Mr Yeo?

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030625

Time
23:22
Y’see, this is why I don’t read discarded copies of The Sun any more. It just aggravates me:

‘Paras’ massacred by rabble.

Such a familiar term; ‘Paras.’

Right up there with ‘Our Boys.’

Perhaps the writing/editorial team of The Sun can present us with a complete rundown of their military service record.

This simple result is by no means definitive, but it strikes a chord with me.

Also, the use of ‘rabble’ in this headline is a perfect example of The Sun’s exploitation of the illiterate and the ignorant.

I’ve actually taken a survey commissioned by The Sun.

The first question asked if I read the articles, or just read the headlines.

For many people, the simple use of the word ‘rabble’ will be the end of the matter. No matter what they read (or have read to them) after.

Were they (allegedly) Saddam loyalists and (therefore) completely evil, or were they simply a shabby crowd with ideas above their station?

If the former, we can look forward to a decent hanging at last. If the latter; how dare they attack Our Boys?

I swear; what this country needs is a broadsheet with tits in it.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030626
Riding High on Blogdex
Time
09:37
The new Google Toolbar (beta) has a pop-up blocker and a ‘blog this’ feature.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030626
It’s War! And Somebody’s Telling Porkies!
Time
09:39
Alastair Campbell shifts focus to BBC ‘lies.’

There was a lot of talk after his questioning about what a good performance it was. ‘Performance’ is right. As you would expect, his responses were high on spin and low on substance.

When it came down to the nitty-gritty of it, the suggestion that a back-room cabal had made plans for war without consulting the Foreign Office or MPs, he went on and on and on and on and on about what a serious allegation that was.

Yes, it’s serious, but that doesn’t make it untrue, now does it

He then ran off a list of the accused who had denied it.

That also does not make the claim untrue.

Said Mr Campbell;

“I know scepticism is fine, but are we really so cynical that we think any prime minister is going to make prior decisions to send British forces into conflict and wouldn’t rather avoid doing that.”

If we are that cynical, Mr Campbell, then we have you to thank for it.

And it still doesn’t make the claim untrue.

So there.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030626

Time
09:42
How To Tell If Your Head’s About To Blow Up.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030626

Time
09:43
Front yard display irks neighbours. Is it a home, or is it a business? This zoning question threatens the safety and comfort of dozens of angels, dwarfs, frogs, dogs, flamingos, rabbits, turtles, religious figures, and plastic crocodiles.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030626

Time
09:46
The top 11 movies about animals attacking people. No.1 will surprise you not a lot.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030626

Time
09:52
Princess Di: Mutant Superhero

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030626
Christianity Watch
Time
09:54
“Even if YOU don’t know what faith you are, Belief-O-Matic™ knows. Answer 20 questions about your concept of God, the afterlife, human nature, and more, and Belief-O-Matic™ will tell you what religion (if any) you practice…or ought to consider practicing.”

The disclaimer is even funnier. Go see – and take the test. I tried it, but for some reason my answers caused a major page error.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030626

Time
09:56
OK, that’s it for now. I want to leave room for anything that (*ahem*, nudge) may come along today.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030626
Tim Yeo: The Limited Offer
Time
11:18
About 2 hours to go. He’s cutting it fine.

I’m dead busy today, so don’t expect me to go completely 21st century on his ass from the moment the deadline passes at 1:24pm

I will, however, be taking suggestions for appropriate action at this time…

Oh, just thought I’d mention… Tim Yeo’s Conservatives.com profile has staged a bit of a comeback on ‘tim yeo’ searches, but the Tim Yeo weblog is now outperforming the Tim Yeo – Campaign Hijacker page. There have been no updates to the Tim Yeo weblog today, as I genuinely hope to be able to shut it down sometime this afternoon.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030626

Time
12:23
One hour. It don’t look good.

tic tic tic tic tic tic tic

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030626

Time
13:11
Whoa! A tidy little traffic spike over the last hour, with at least half a dozen individuals accessing the site via parliament.uk

Everyone’s watching and waiting, but I have the feeling we’re all about to be sorely disappointed…

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030626
Tim Yeo: The Limited Offer
Time
13:25
Moment of truth… downloading email…

Hey, I’ve selected for a special giveaway! I can also have a larger penis, maintain a harder, longer erection with said penis, and say goodbye to my debt problems.

I cannot, unfortunately, call it a day on the Tim Yeo issue. No reply. At all.

I’m really quite sad about that.

Even notorious spin-doctor Alastair Campbell has acknowledged that a person whose material has been lifted from the Internet and used for a political purpose deserves an apology. Why can’t Mr Yeo do the same?

OK, suggestions taken from this point on. How do we reach Tim Yeo? How do we convince him to do the gentlemanly thing? He obviously doesn’t care what the online community thinks of him, so some ‘real life’ action may be called for.

Thinking caps on. Emails to the usual address.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030626

Time
14:40
I really am quite depressed about this. As soon as I finish the work on my plate, I’m going to cruise by the B3ta board for some much-needed cheering up.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030627

Time
08:35
Every Star Wars Kid video ever made. Interesting to see the number of people it inspired, but it was the original that warmed our hearts. You may recognise the collection of animations. I’ve emailed and asked (nicely) for a credit link.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030627
Riding High on Blogdex
Time
08:38
Steer and queers now legal in Texas. The Supreme Court ruling is also expected to have an impact on other states with anti-sodomy laws.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030627

Time
08:46
These extracts from a 1970’s Scientology pamphlet are doing the rounds. Do make the effort to work through the lot. You wouldn’t want to miss highlights such as the peacekeeping efforts of the Volunteer Minister. Techniques such as Contact Assist and Locational Assist follow in situations that will chill you to the bone with their stark realism. See it all. At the very least, head forward to see the Volunteer Minister meet the ‘Chief of Police’ and solve the local crime problem with a cunning plan outlined on a single sheet of A4 paper.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030627

Time
08:50
See the mug shot of the man who tried to rob a pharmacy with his finger.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030627

Time
08:53
A site dedicated to every single body part of Michael Jackson. She really, really likes his neck. You’ve probably also seen Eminem’s oh-so-clever stunt. It would be funnier if he weren’t just as disturbing as Jacko – and about 6 months too late. (Oooh, I am in a mood today…)

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Date
20030627
Telemarketers
Time
08:57
Phoneonthecob.com is proving popular, in that it mixes the joy of prank phone calls with truly deserving victims. They call him, y’see. And not all of them are allowed to hang up.

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Date
20030627

Time
08:59
How can you possibly say no to caffeinated beer that glows in the dark?

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Date
20030627
Anybody But George
Time
09:02
See George Bush hanging around in a classroom for five minutes after being told of WTC attack. The longer introduction (scroll down) is quite mean-spirited. I mean, maybe he just wanted to find out what made Spot run.

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Date
20030627

Time
09:05
An estimated 40,000 people have journeyed to Milton Hospital to see the apparition of the Virgin Mary. One man who was interviewed said; “I don’t see anything except a dirty window.”

Burn him! Burrrrrrn him!

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Date
20030627

Time
09:12
Husband in automotive tryst with mistress accidentally activates mobile phone – which places a call through to his wife. She then went on to attack him with an axe, presumably because she places her faith in more primitive (yet reliable) forms of technology.

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Date
20030627
The Political Weblog Movement
Time
09:22
After years of walking past each other in the halls, Tom Watson and Richard Allan stopped to shake hands on Wednesday. Because of their interaction through weblogs. Makes me warm all over, that does.

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Date
20030627
Friday Feedback
Time
09:36
Tim Yeo is obviously using the ‘la-la-la this isn’t happening’ technique to deal with this little issue. I’m not 100% sure he’s worth more Photoshop time (and I don’t want to bore you chaps), but work on the weblog will definitely continue. It can be used to do a post-mortem on every inch of newspaper coverage he gets. I’m also seriously considering digging through the Private Eye collection in the attic so we can give a home to (and present a search result for) a range of informative titbits.

Given that he wants to pretend that we don’t exist – or don’t matter – some form of ‘real life’ action may also be called for. All suggestions are appreciated. Emails to the usual address.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030627
The Political Weblog Movement
Time
11:46
Thanks go to Simon) for spotting this post on senatorial blogging. Perhaps Dennis Kucinich can be convinced to help bring blogs into the senate.gov framework.

Having them outside sets the ‘independent’ precedent that potentially robs us of real voices.

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Date
20030627

Time
19:50
A long day. A busy day.

BTW, thanks for the feedback. Keep it coming.

A few folks have asked why the last few days have depressed me so.

Well, it was a pretty generous offer. A realistic offer. And Tim Yeo still couldn’t see sense. I genuinely hate it when people force me to hurt them.

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Date
20030628

Time
08:51
Connex loses its franchise. Good. Thameslink and South West Trains had better watch their arse. SWT (owned by Stagecoach Holdings Plc.) is still charging extortionate fares. They hide a lot of them with laughable ‘saver’ concepts and single fares that are about 10p less than the return. All for the pleasure of riding on dirty, cramped, 40-year old ‘slam door’ stock. And the general attitude of staff just has to be experienced to be believed. I won’t be sorry to see them go.

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Date
20030628

Time
16:58
Our youngest has just developed her first ‘see it and say it’ word. I heard about it this morning, but wasn’t aware of the true implications until I took her for a drive this afternoon:

Car!

Car!

Car! Car! Car!

Car!

Car! Car! Car! Car! Car! Car!


etc…

We survived the trip on the A-road into town, but her brain finally went into overload when we pulled into the car park.

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Date
20030629
It’s War! And Somebody’s Telling Porkies!
Time
09:08
Ministers knew war papers were forged, says diplomat.

You’ll pardon me for saying so, but that’s not very diplomatic…

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Date
20030629

Time
16:02
Wow, I got much less spam this weekend than I normally do. Are all these guys at a conference or something?

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Date
20030630
Telemarketers
Time
08:35
I was wondering only last week why you guys didn’t have this. Now you do:

National ‘Do Not Call’ Registry goes live.

Pop your home/mobile number on the list, and you’re clear for five years.



The list still allows you to receive calls ‘from political organisations, charities, telephone surveyors or companies with which you have an existing business relationship,’ but with the exception of companies being allowed to interpret a single purchase as an existing business relationship, the rules looks pretty stringent.

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Date
20030630

Time
08:43
San Francisco motorist runs over pedestrian, laughs hysterically and then drives over victim again. Repeatedly.

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Date
20030630
Does What It Says On The Tin
Time
08:47
www.duckhuntinggirls.com

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Date
20030630
Christianity Watch
Time
08:52
The site productsforbaby.com only has one product, but it’s a cracker. The Genesis Teething Ring (made of unknown material and bearing the name of our Lord and Saviour, Jesus) reportedly ‘goes with two things that we are going to have more of every day, babies and Christians.’

Bless.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030630
It’s War! And Somebody’s Going To Pay!
Time
08:57
Ten Appalling Lies We Were Told About Iraq.

They missed one. Remember when we stopped believing their WMD bullshit and it suddenly became a fight for democracy and regime change? Well, they got the regime change bit (almost) right, but:

Occupation Forces Halt Elections Throughout Iraq.

More on the latest developments and their implications from Back To Iraq: Iraq Intifada Gearing Up.

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Date
20030630
Riding High on Blogdex
Time
09:11
Everything you need to know about irony.

If you read this and are still having trouble online, then Irony Detector 1.5 might come in handy. You may not understand what it is, but dammit, you’ll know it’s there.

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Date
20030630

Time
09:31
Is Google God? (requires registration)

In a word, ‘no.’ We, as representatives of the increasingly connected global consciousness come pretty close, but we’re not God, either.

For those that need reminding, God is a large man in a white robe with a kindly face and long, flowing beard. With all lightning coming out of his fingers, like.

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Date
20030630
Tim Yeo: Campaign Hijacker
Time
10:35
From the feedback this weekend, we get (mostly) the following question, presented here in hybrid form:

Question: How do you know that he’s read your email and/or is aware of the website?

Answer: I just know, OK?

It has also been suggested that, being a Tory, Tim Yeo may actually be enjoying this public whipping and looking forward to more of the same. We shall see.

As for suggestions for development of the campaign, one piece of feedback proves particularly interesting, and suggests that simply maintaining the status quo may be enough in the short term:

From Simon of wibbler.com:

Ooooh, your efforts reach all sorts of places. The Mail on Sunday this weekend:

“Tory Grandee Tim Yeo…. is the victim of a new smear. Fake email pictures of him in various states of undress have been circulating in the commons among MPs. One features him in bed, smiling and naked, holding a magazine. Urgh!”

Now, I do try to be fair. I did warn Mr Yeo that there had been increasing views from parliament.uk, but did he listen? No.

I’ve also warned him of the possible consequences of the high search results for the Tim Yeo Weblog and the Tim Yeo: Campaign Hijacker page (which have again pushed his Conservatives.com profile out of the picture). Is he worried about that? It would appear not.

Today, the following image is presented for your amusement. It is entitled:

“The Wages Of Sin”

A larger version is presented in the growing gallery.

More on this front soon.

If I can stomach it.

UPDATE – And, just to show you that I’m not the only one who has a problem with this








Posted in Uncategorized | Comments Off on 17-30 June, 2003

02-16 June, 2003

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Date
20030602

Time
08:52
Student suspended from last eight days of school after leaving obscene message hidden in school newspaper article. The first letter of each paragraph pretty much spelled it out for one of the faculty members – but the student only got rumbled when it was pointed out to teaching staff by one of his ‘mates’ (probably as a result of a bit of bragging).

Y’see, you have to keep this kind of thing under your hat; that’s why I’m not going to tell you where on the web you can see an example of this kind of thing from a certain copywriter who shall remain nameless.

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Date
20030602

Time
09:02
Defendant marks his territory in San Diego Superior Court.

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Date
20030602

Time
09:05
Reality shows face casting crisis. It seems the number of people willing to appear on nothing but a promise is slowly but surely dwindling. Producers won’t even be able to fake it by using desperate actors, as this lot are worried about being typecast. Sadly, the numbers aren’t reduced enough to actually knock anything off the air. Yet.

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Date
20030602
Yet Another Lame Quiz
Time
09:12
What movie quote are you?

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Date
20030602

Time
09:44
Looks like it’s all starting to come to a head.

PC Magazine has proclaimed blogging to be ‘the next big thing’ (i.e. the thing that will be ‘so over’ this time next year). FBI puppies gave this devastatingly attractive young student a damn good grilling over references to ‘hacking’ in her weblog.

Whoa. Hang on. Back up.

She claims to have been quoting from the movie ‘Hackers,’ but Googling for generic derivatives turned up nothing but this article and a bunch of junk. No reference to it here, either. I haven’t actually wasted time watching the movie – so let’s move along.

This, supposedly is the student’s weblog – but it looks very, very new to me.

Something smelly is going on with this one.

Now, where were we?

Ah, yes – blogging.

This Observer article responds to recent whinges about blog ‘pollution’…

“The moral is: if you want to score with Google, be on the web.”

Quite a familiar sentiment, I must say.

Finally, we come around to Andrew Orlanski’s latest piece on blogging. Either this is an outright troll, or Andrew’s cheese has well and truly slipped off its cracker.

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Date
20030602
Christianity Watch
Time
09:48
Are you a Christian into Cyberdating? Then use identidate.com to ensure that your prospective partner is of good moral stock and not some crazy sicko.

Also, if you’re looking for folks out for a good time, then why not join The Church of the Lion of Judah? The Rapture is coming, and these people are ready. I’m still digging, but so far my favourite quote is:

“In order to fully understand any of what has happened and is to come, one must accept certain truths as fact.”

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Date
20030602
Flash Music Video
Time
10:17
Visits to JPEG Baby started to slow down around Friday, but interest has been renewed (and then some) after a link at Metafilter.

Here’s a little forum love that resulted. We also featured at the NSFW entensity.net, Adam Curry’s weblog and cracked the language barrier again with a link on this Russian site.

Total page views since launch: 31,976

(Oh, and while we’re slumming it in parts foreign, a fair amount of traffic came this way today and yesterday from this Brazilian review of The Star Wars Photoshopping Project. World domination is within my grasp.)

UPDATE – Yay! More Russian love coming in from vpcom.ru & absolutus.nm.ru – and now the mighty BBspot has deemed it linkworthy. A good day. Still, I’m yet to hear from a single Elvis impersonator….

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Date
20030602

Time
10:27
According to the Jail Rape Calculator, I’m worth 3 cartons of cigarettes and two porno mags – and it would take me a mere 12 days to become Bubba’s bitch.

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Date
20030602
Operation Justification
Time
10:29
Blair claims to have ‘secret proof’ of WMDs. Meanwhile, George Bush claims that the two empty trailers they found were the proof. I’d be more inclined to believe them if they could keep their stories straight.

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Date
20030602

Time
10:36
This time next week, I’ll be in Boston attending the ClickZ Weblog Business Strategies conference.

Sadly, this means that I will be unable to attend The 3rd Annual Nigerian Email Conference (link via TTR2).

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Date
20030603
Murdoch is a Bastard
Time
08:47
When Rupert Murdoch told a senate committee plan that he had no plans to take advantage of any relaxation in America media ownership laws they laughed in his face – but still the Republicans managed to muscle plans through.

No surprises there. It was Murdoch who sold the idea that Bush had (just) won the election, and it was Murdoch who helped to sell the idea that the war on Iraq was necessary and just.

This, I suppose, is his just reward.

Using similar muscle here in the UK, Murdoch has been using tabloids like The Sun to support the government on pretty much every issue that counts. Until he gets his way, of course. Then it’s business as usual.

Murdoch is not a man to be trusted. I even have a sneaking suspicion that he has a tooth or two in the back of his throat.

UPDATE – Q&A: US media changes and the UK

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030603

Time
08:51
What makes a weblog a weblog?

Simple answer: the nut behind the wheel.

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Date
20030603

Time
08:53
Microsoft reluctantly, but clearly, calls it a day on the standalone version of Internet Explorer.

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Date
20030603

Time
08:59
The Register describes it as (maybe) better than Google (even though, like most metas, it relies heavily on Google and other search engines). Company spokeswoman Megan Hamilton says that “we want to become the Hotmail of search,” which certainly sounds promising to me.

It’s Turbo10. Go and have a play if you like, but watch out for the ugly, ugly interface.

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Date
20030603

Time
09:05
Japanese photographer sentenced to 18 months after cluster bomb kills airport security guard in Jordan. The bomb was a souvenir taken from Iraq. Presumably they were all out of art treasures.

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Date
20030603

Time
09:08
Why merely look up her skirt when you can see the whole works? Enjoy The Visible Barbie Project. I did.

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Date
20030603

Time
09:09
Find the shortest path between any two weblogs. Your first mission is to find viable links between this weblog and an intelligent one.

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Date
20030603

Time
09:13
Journalist spends entire time in Iraq associating with the Baghdad blogger, but fails to realise it until he gets home. Instead of interviewing the guy, the journalist sent him out for pizza.

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Date
20030603
Pets
Time
09:29
Woman claims her dog is worth $50K, because God told her so.

Cats are too smart for Meow TV.

Girl finds two-headed turtle.

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Date
20030603

Time
09:31
Company sells fake six-figure ATM receipts to saddos trying to impress dates.

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Date
20030603
Flash Music Video
Time
09:34
More Russian link-love for JPEG Baby. Total page views since launch: 37,228

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Date
20030603

Time
09:37
The latest story from Conspiracy Planet:

“Sources from the Department of Defense report that the covert-ops team sent to Iraq to plant the Weapons of Mass Destruction in order to justify the US War on Iraq have been killed by friendly fire – unfortunately before they could tell anyone where they hid the cache of WMD’s.”

Heh. I like this one. It has an entertaining double-spin to it.

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Date
20030603
Photoshopping
Time
09:40
The latest addition to The Star Wars Photoshopping Project sees Hislop and Merton teaming up to save the day.

I was going to include the ghost of Angus Deayton, but couldn’t be arsed…

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Date
20030603

Time
16:32
I think perhaps now is as good a time as any to remind ourselves of the basic principles of fair use.

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Date
20030603
Photoshopping
Time
16:34
Could this incredible image really mark the end of the The Star Wars Photoshopping Project?

Many would hope so, but I’m not making any promises.

Let’s just say that this one feels closer to that all-important finish line than anything else that has gone before it.

I mean, really, how could I possibly top this version?

Big’un is being shown off over at B3ta.

Enjoy.

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Date
20030603

Time
18:07
Help bring London out of the 19th century and sign the petition for a post-midnight service on the tube.

At least at weekends.

Ignore any arguments about the need for overnight maintenance. It’s bullshit. We all know that maintenance teams spend most of their time dodging work or catching up on sleep. I can’t see three less available hours each night (or two nights a week) messing up the current demand for maintenance if the workers are actually working. Right now this time is wasted by those with an overwhelming desire to nap or sit on one’s arse and stare into space. That’s what office jobs are for, boyo.

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Date
20030603

Time
20:17
Heh. Minerva has declared that back-to-iraq.com is a cultural artifact and worth preservation and display as part of their new collection of sites relating to the war in Iraq.

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Date
20030604

Time
08:08
Take your pick between domino art and toilet roll art.

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Date
20030604

Time
08:10
Bank robbers captured when getaway car fails to start. Obviously these bright sparks have never been to the movies before, or they would know that you’re supposed to leave the engine running. (Unless of course you’re operating in Sgt. Harry Callahan’s district, where this kind of forward-thinking behaviour merely invites trouble.)

The passenger jumped out and tried to steal a car, before breaking into a house and trying to steal some car keys – and then running off desperately trying to flag down a lift on the nearby Interstate.

The driver merely sat there and went “C’mon! C’mon! C’monnnn!” until the police finally, mercifully, answered his call.

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Date
20030604

Time
08:19
We had monkeys the other week. Today: Buy a penguin from the Penguin Warehouse!

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Date
20030604

Time
08:25
Oof! Thwack! Kapow! Kersplotch!

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Date
20030604
Christianity Watch
Time
08:27
Great. Just what we need. Another gimmick bible. That’ll make a good story. That’ll fill a few inches.

Fans of the The Mosquito Coast; feel free to gnaw your own arm off any time now.

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Date
20030604

Time
08:39
See some pictures of extreme weather at weatherpix.com (link lifted from The Ultimate Insult).

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Date
20030604

Time
08:42
Velvet-Strike allows you to submit your own counter-military graffiti and images for inclusion in the network shooter terrorism game Counter-Strike. Time to dig through the Bush/Blair porn collection…

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Date
20030604
It’s War! And Somebody’s Going To Get Laid!
Time
08:45
Nevada brothel offers free sex to troops returning from the war in Iraq.

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Date
20030604

Time
08:47
Property dispute turns ugly when owner responds to development/upkeep protests with lime-green signs saying “Keep the fuck out!” and “You started this shit!”

Now, there’s just no call for that. I mean, lime green? I don’t blame the council for getting involved. In fact, someone should call the police.

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Date
20030604

Time
08:53
Clay Shirky: The FCC, Weblogs, and Inequality

He misses one important point…

Anybody can start a weblog, but to start/buy a major traditional outlet, such as a newspaper or television station, you need some serious cash. To get your hands on this amount of cash, you usually need to be right bastard. Bastards need regulation.

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Date
20030604

Time
09:11
“How crazy would I have to make my signature before someone would actually notice?”

I’ve been tempted to do this myself. Maybe 1 in 10 shopkeepers check my signature. Even fewer give it more than a cursory glance.

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Date
20030604

Time
09:14
CIA report claims that Al Qaeda terrorists are set to use chemical, biological and nuclear weapons.

Hmmm. Is it as reliable as this CIA intelligence?

The claim could very well be true, but it stinks so highly of Bush’s perpetual war that I’m inclined not to trust it.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030604

Time
09:21
BBQ brawl culminates in the inevitable skewering.

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Date
20030604
Flash Music Video
Time
11:26
JPEG Baby continues to break the language barrier.

Italians, Estonians and Argentinians have all been bopping along happily. We even reached this international community of Bakunians.

Folks in Instanbul have also been having a giggle, and it was probably the appearance at this Greek portal that prompted this morning’s request for a copy of the MP3 from a radio station in Veria .

Airtime in Greece. That entertains me beyond my capacity to make… the words… um, do stuff.

More on the local front, the link has almost travelled full circle by reaching this Irish forum, where some poor chap is actually wondering what the Wogan connection is.

The show has also started to feature on more and more adult-themed sites recently. I won’t link to all of these, as my long-suffering mother reads this weblog. I feel I must, however, point out the chap who left a link to this touching ode as part of his gushing comments in a porn queen’s guestbook.

‘I love those pictures of you doing your laundry in lingerie so much that I masturbate over them while listening to this song’… what a touching sentiment. I can’t help but wonder, though, exactly what this woman wears when washing her lingerie.

Total page views since launch: 40,710

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Date
20030604
The Political Weblog Movement
Time
14:49
OK, we’re ready to roll:

Write To Your Senator Today (So You Can Leave Comments On Their Weblog Tomorrow)

Right now I’m busy emailing a few folks what is smarter than me to see what they think of the campaign and if they want to get involved.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030604

Time
16:06
Greenpeace occupies new Home Office HQ.

Heh. Investigators discovered that the contractors building the place were using logged plywood from Indonesia’s last remaining rainforests, so they went in at 6am this morning and declared it to be an environmental crime scene.

The plywood is being used for the hoardings and to hold wet concrete in place. After which it will no doubt be thrown away – or used to board up the local McDonalds next May Day.

Asked in parliament about the protest, Tony Blair said: “It may be an issue to be brought up with the contractors rather than the government.”

More:

Clock ticking for Indonesian rainforest

Lumber and Paper Giants to Announce Ban of Indonesian Wood and Pulp

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030604
The Political Weblog Movement
Time
16:21
This blogger in India wrote to his local representative, and asked him to start a weblog.

This is really spooky. He did yesterday what I only started suggesting today – right down to repeating the letter on his blog. Looks like the time is now.

(Link lifted from Tom Watson.)

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030604

Time
17:15
In keeping with new FCC guidelines, this blog has now been sold to Fanapco. All opinions from this point on will carefully reflect those of the Fanapco corporation.

All hail Fanapco, and their mighty regime!

(Yours sincerely, Little Girl…)

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030605

Time
09:13
Have fun dragging a skeleton around. And shooting it. Against a naff flaming background.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030605

Time
09:14
Man who drove around blowing his horn so everyone would see him masturbate blames neglectful wife and mother. The man’s name, BTW, is one letter away from perfection.

Also on the roads: the 15-year-old stripper whose Mum drives her to work.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030605

Time
09:22
Today we learn from ambrosian.org that the only true path to God is staying a virgin. Forever.

Via the guestbook, I also found Celidate.org – a dating service for celibates (transitional or otherwise). ‘Otherwise’ would include (I’m guessing) the medically celibate, but these people have their own network.

BTW, while we’re on the subject of abstinence, can anyone tell me when the term ‘safe sex’ was casually replaced with ‘safer sex’…?

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030605

Time
09:35
For sale: unopened jar containing one (1) captured poltergeist.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030605
It’s War! And Somebody’s Going To Pay!
Time
09:37
Wolfowitz: Iraq war was about oil.

UPDATE – This story has since been withdrawn by The Guardian due to a slight (ahem) contextual problem. Read all about it here.

I like this article (requires subscription) that outlines not one, but four reasons why we had to go to war. No. 1 being that we had to slap someone around after 11/9 (please note the correct date formatting), not only for purposes of morale, but also to show the world who’s in charge.

Meanwhile, Tony Blair has agreed to an inquiry into alleged distortion of intelligence. The very idea of such an investigation (oh, I say…) was dismissed as ludicrous just over a month ago, but since then they’ve obviously got their sacrificial ducks in a row. Someone, somewhere down the line, is in for it. They just don’t know it yet. Tony, of course, will be astounded that someone in such a trusted position would deceive him and/or his staff over a matter of such importance.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030605

Time
09:55
Woman found bound to a picnic table with leather straps and being spanked with a boat oar claims incident has been blown out of proportion.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030605

Time
09:58
This image was reportedly part of a BBC slide show before being quietly, but no too quickly, removed from the site. It spent most of yesterday doing the rounds, but has been repeated here for folks who don’t get out much. And because it still makes me laugh.

BTW, I first saw this at groovymother.com, where I also found this great t-shirt project at threadless.com where you can submit a t-shirt design via their online community. Then everybody votes, and at the end of the month the winning designs are available for sale. Genius, no?

Me, I’m still waiting for the return of Hypercolour.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030605

Time
10:08
Man steals bus. Follows route. Collects fares.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030605
Christianity Watch
Time
10:10
Christian group seeks temporary rollback of flight restrictions over Disneyland. It’s been a no-fly zone since March due to terrorism fears, but they want a temporary relaxation of the rules. Not much, just enough for them to fly a banner over Gay Day so their organisation can let the sexually misguided heathens know that, through Christ, they can be saved.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030605

Time
10:24
Barry Manilow walks into wall, breaks nose.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030605

Time
10:25
What is it with politicians and blowjobs this week? I just got a copy of this from my sister. The chap in the background is Peter ‘Lose’ Costello. The chap doing favours in the foreground is gnome-like ruler-for-life of the lesser colonies, John Howard. Looks like he’s up to his old tricks again.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030605

Time
10:40
Are Arabs warming to the U.S.? Survey says….

This is a little unfair. And potentially misleading. I suspect this negative result is mainly to do with Arabs being accosted in the street by loud people with clipboards asking: “Do you love America?”

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030605

Time
10:45
Copywriters mourn the loss of valuable words such as Free, Opportunity, Exciting and Credit. Spam gets the blame.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030605

Time
10:48
Teens teach FBI agents cyberspeak so they can pose as underage girlies and nab a few pervs. Also covered are important subjects such as fashion and the hipness of Justin Timberlake.

“They, like, don’t know anything,” said Mary, 14, giggling.

I swear that last bit is really in the article. Go look. Or find out how you should really talk to teens. I’d normally add ‘Not!’ here, but that’s, like, sooooo 90’s.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030605

Time
10:57
A ‘Worst-Case Scenario’ book is now available for those at risk in savage work environments. Is there a chapter on knife wounds to the back?

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030605
The Political Weblog Movement
Time
13:24
Some linkage supporting the campaign to get senators online with weblogs has come in from Martin, Scott, Steve and, of course, Tom – but so far Lance has had the most to say about the whole thing.

BTW, I’m tuned into BBC Radio 2 right now, as Tom is about to be interviewed on air about his weblog. Huzzah!

UPDATE – The interview resulted from Jeremy Vine’s attempt to find Britain’s most honest politician. Tom was nominated because of his weblog. If you’ve read Tom’s blog and think that he’s an exceptionally trustworthy chap (or at the very least that the weblog format is helping him to resist dark forces), then I urge you to contact the show and contribute/vote.

UPDATE 2 – A partial transcript of the inteview and some thoughts from me:

Tom Watson: Part of the reason to have an online journal, when you’re being interviewed… you only get two minutes to give an answer, but if you have an online journal you can show all the nuances and where you’re sharing policy dilemmas with people because quite often in politics, there’s not an absolute answer. There’s not just a ‘yes’ or a ‘no,’ there’s a ‘this is probably the best route to take,’ and it’s very difficult to get that across.

Jeremy Vine: But don’t politicians have to pretend there’s a straightforward ‘yes’ or a ‘no’?

Tom Watson: Well, some do, but I think those days are gone. I think people just want you to be straight with them about where you’re sharing the difficulties of government, and of course you can always get attacked for weakness there, but… if you’re straight about what might go right and what might go wrong, people pretty much take you on trust.

And of course, with the weblog format, we can track Tom’s position on any given subject with a few clicks and (shock!) make up our own minds instead of relying on the interpretations of journalists and editors. We can also (horror!) view other people’s comments on the matter and make a comment ourselves. On our own weblog or on his.

In short, Tom is no longer impossibly distant and reliant on one-way communications channels (often controlled by others with a distinct political agenda). He gets to communicate with us. En masse and directly. We get to see what’s going on and what shapes his decisions. We even get to see what other people think about that, be it positive or negative. Presented in the correct format and context, this is powerful stuff.

You and I have developed certain expectations about communication after exposure to the Internet. Sooner or later, all politicians will have live up to these expectations just to survive.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030605

Time
14:48
The 8 Mile online MC championship has some very good – and very bad – entries. I’m sure you can guess which ones I’m enjoying the most…

Basically you just line up someone to challenge and call your entry in by phone. Rappin’ on the cordless, baby. That’s so hardcore.

My favourite rap so far is short but sweet:

Jamma.

What a dilemma.

You go to the gym to get, um, slimmer.

Or, erm, thinner.

Weird, innit?

Because, otherwise, you’ve got another dilemma…

Jamma.

Innit?

I’m not to sure why I’m rapping, or who I’m rapping to.

So that’s about my crew.

But why don’t you just f**k off?

Yeah, that’s right, you…


(contestant hangs up, leaving backing track to continue all on its lonesome)

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030605

Time
17:03
Oh dear. Turbo10.com (‘a contender for the Google crown,’ according to The Register) has melted. It still delivers an entry page if you treat it gently, but errors abound with the simplest of searches.

I may go back and try to evaluate it again later. Or I may not.

OK, the follow-up article by Andrew Orlowski claiming that it’s the result of sabotage by bloggers goes live 5, 4, 3…

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Date
20030605

Time
18:02
Planning on a quiet night in? Order one of these video blockbusters from the U.S. Secret Service and get a free Dominos Pizza voucher. Maybe.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030606

Time
08:46
Seems everyone is trying to get a piece of ‘ghost in a jar’ action. A lot of tossers are just using the keywords on unrelated goods, but today’s search does turn up some useful items, such as this Ghost in a Jar Vacation Home (i.e. an empty jar). The search has appeared at Fark (see related thread), and auctions have started turning up for jars in ghosts, homeless ghosts looking for a jar and the inevitable Ghost in a Jar-Jar. I’m still waiting for ‘goatse in a jar.’

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030606

Time
09:12
Teenager wins lying contest; plans to go into politics. Well, that’s a side-splitter if ever I heard one.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030606
Riding High on Blogdex
Time
09:16
Executive Editor of The New York Times and Top Deputy Step Down. That’s actually at the NYT site, so if you haven’t registered, you won’t be able to read it. Sorry. Why not read about it on CNN instead?

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Date
20030606

Time
09:19
19-year-old porn star runs for mayor. Regrets, I’ve had a few…

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Date
20030606

Time
09:22
Is Lying About The Reason For War An Impeachable Offense?

The discussion thread relating to this legal opinion piece (see link at bottom of page) includes the following comment of great wonder and beauty:

“Being a strong leader is only a good thing when that leader takes the nation in the correct direction and not over a cliff.”

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030606

Time
09:31
Gag-order on journalists at tech-conference bypassed by bloggers. Ah, we’re not journalists, you see. No, don’t start up with that – you can’t have it both ways.

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Date
20030606

Time
09:35
Convicted heroin dealer alllowed to claim massive tax deduction on money lost in drug deal.

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Date
20030606

Time
09:37
OAPS fail to give good reason for sex act in fast food restaurant. Insert obvious joke here.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030606
Flash Games
Time
09:39
Here’s a cool football game to brighten your Friday. You’re welcome.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030606

Time
09:42
It was via FunJunkie that I discovered the wonderfully diverting Buzzometer, a special web tool that measures buzzword density on any site you choose to point it to. On yesterday’s bloggage I scored a respectable 161. Today, a whopping 304.

The coolest thing is that it generates Buzzometer reporting links for every hyperlink that turns up on a page it has scanned. This means that you can just follow your nose and surf as normal, but get that all-important buzzword data every step of the way.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030606
Yet Another Lame Quiz
Time
09:53
Finally, a personality quiz that dares to tell the truth.

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Date
20030606
Photoshopping
Time
09:54
To all those hoping and praying for an end to The Star Wars Photoshopping Project

…I would like to apologise for getting your hopes up.

“No, *no*, Luke I Am…”

Big’un was released last night on B3ta.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030606
Ghost In A Jar
Time
14:17
What can I say? I’m a sucker for a bandwagon. For sale: Ghost of Weapons of Mass Destruction in a Jar

Contains one (1) figment of the imagination and some recycled material. (Auction has now been removed – see below.)

UPDATE – Ahahahahahaha! I missed this one: Ghost in a Jar – movie rights. Also doing well is the “Free The Ghost In A Jar” Bumper Sticker. It’s too early for a plethora of related search results in Google (look tomorrow), but Usenet is buzzing with spectators.

There are already a bunch of domain name speculators selling related domains. You should also keep an eye out for keyword/query speculators producing optimised ‘ghost in a jar’ pages (that have nothing to do with ghosts in jars, but will offer exciting alternative opportunities). Ditto for Adwords and the like. Finally, your first attention-getting ‘Ghost In A Jar’ spam header should arrive sometime before Sunday afternoon. You have been warned.

It’s here, folks. The ‘All Your Base’ of 2003. We can go home now.

UPDATE 2 – Ebay obviously have difficulty recognising a valid work of art. I’ve replied to the following email with a very strong complaint.

—– Original Message —–

From:

Sent: Saturday, June 07, 2003 4:14 AM

Subject: PI NOTICE: eBay Auction Ended by Customer Support – Joke Auctions

–> 2933435358 Ghost of Weapons of Mass Destruction in a Jar has been ended.

–> All fees associated with this auction have been credited to your account.

–> The item you have listed does not appear to be consistent with eBay guidelines.

–> eBay does not allow listings that are intended as jokes or which feature items,

–> such as “Ghosts in Jars.”

–> Should you wish to relist your item, please remove any references to “Ghosts in

–> Jars.”

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030606

Time
15:55
Whatever you do, do not push this button.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030606

Time
15:56
OK, that’s pretty much it from me for a few days. I’m flying off to Boston on Sunday for the ClickZ Weblog Business Strategies 2003 Conference & Expo and I won’t get back here until Wednesday.

Bloggage may be light as a result, but I’ll try to stay in touch.

This is the first time I’ve been on a plane since you-know-when. Nothing to do with fear, mind, I’m just not as windswept and interesting as some of you.

Still, a pilot gave me some good advice about air travel safety a long time ago, and I do plan on following it:

Always – always – sit somewhere at the back. There has never been a recorded instance of a plane reversing into a mountain.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030608
Boston
Time
18:45
Hey, I’m here. I landed. In one piece, too. You can all relax now.

I enjoyed a lovely chicken dinner on the plane. The guy sitting in front of me got to wear his.

I also read in someone’s copy of the Sunday Express (note: Richard Desmond is a pornographer) that a production company is floating the idea of a political edition/version of Big Brother – and that Tom was considering taking part.

Honestly, I can’t leave you people alone for a second…

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030609

Time
10:04
It’s 5am in the morning here. I’m seriously jetlagged and – as a keyboard basher of some years – the need to be vewy, vewy quiet is slowing me down some. Hang in there.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030609
The Political Weblog Movement
Time
10:32
Off to the first day of the weblog conference in a few hours. I’m certainly looking forward to meeting Doc Searls.

BTW, the Doc blogged the following yesterday:

“Let’s face it: Blogs today are still unnecessary and insufficient for electing a damn soul. At best they’ll become necessary but still insufficient.

“Winning in elections, like winning in markets, requires something more than conversation, more than buzz. It requires involvement. Relationship. Connecting and reconnecting. Performing, and not just in the box office sense of that word.”

I’d agree wholeheartedly that blogs are likely to be misinterpreted by many politicians as a fundraising wonder and perhaps even a delivery system for the same old happy-slappy crap. Maybe they’ll even find a willing audience. Howard Dean has.

However, for those that do get it, blogs are going to act as one hell of a catalyst, as they allow a politician to (finally) realistically deliver the dynamite combination of access and involvement.

I really think that a significant shift is possible – and I’m inclined to think that this will happen faster in the political arena than it will in the commercial (not that the two are entirely separate these days). The invention of moveable type presented many opportunities to entrepreneurs of the day, but those who used it to press for social change had the earliest and most widespread successes.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030609

Time
10:34
“Jonah did not know it was unusual for a ten-year-old boy to have an eight-inch penis…”

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030609
Bad Monkeys
Time
10:37
1. Mother watches helplessly as baboon snatches her child and eats his brain.

2. Monkeypox hits Midwest America.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030609
It’s War! And Somebody’s Going To Pay!
Time
11:06
Mark Steyn suggests in this Torygraph opinion piece that:

“the WMD song and dance is irrelevant, both de facto and de jure.. And as politics, two months after victory, it’s pathetically immature.”

Well, I know you are Mark, but what am I?

What a load of utter codswollop.

The action was illegal. Saddam is gone (well, missing at least) but the precedent set and the damage done to international relations by the Vigilante Justice League is going to have far more serious consequences than chemical/biological weapons that may or may not have existed and a few rusty missles that went 20 miles further than they should have.

The war itself, and the way in which it was pushed forward, requires some serious focus. Not least because it may just show people how often – and how effectively – we are lied to by those we trust with our lives.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030609

Time
11:55
Yesterday myself, Rod from GroovyMother and Scott from The Ultimate Insult all sat around the one table and enjoyed some facetime.

I regret to announce that we failed to set the world to rights (on this occasion at least) due to the overwhelming distraction of the recent smoking ban.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030610

Time
04:27
Xxxx me, what a day.

What to say, and what not to say…

One of the best moments for me today was when Xxxx hesitated quiteshortlybutstillnoticeably before announcing that Xxxx was introducing a xxxx xxxx. It made everything very clear to me.

Tomorrow, I’ll have the opportunity to speak on issues involving the use of weblogs in large IT organisations. One issue proposed for discussion is choosing the right model of moderation/management.

In the case of Chris Chambers, they chose the right man. Beyond being an NBB (‘Natural Born Blogger’- look it up sometime soon), Chris was an individual with the intuition to know instinctively and immediately what – and what wasn’t – right for publication. He was the right man to do the job all on his lonesome, and management knew it.

This meant that he could get on with his job without the kind of interference from management/marketing/PR that might otherwise rob him of the natural voice that made what he did so effective.

As Xxxx proved when Xxxxxx xxxxx the xxxx: ‘control’ is visible. And nobody likes it.

You only have to see the strings once to never look at a puppet show the same way again.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030610
Cheesecake?
Time
04:41
Sorry, I’m more into beefcake

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030610

Time
11:59
It is a bloody glorious morning here in Boston. I took a few minutes to explore the Christian Wrestling Federation (click the ‘Meet Jesus’ link for more joy), but life is too short to go any further.

(Note for new readers: when bloggage fails, see the archives or ‘stuff’.)

Right now I’m going to take time out to appreciate the wonderful water pressure folks enjoy in this part of town, then get down to the conference.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030610

Time
14:52
Jason Shellen of Blogger has just stated ‘for the record and once & for all’ that Google is not (repeat NOT) removing blogs from their database. In fact, Google is quite keen on the recency and relevance of the information they provide.

Told you so. Nyer, etc.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030611
Tony Blair’s Email
Time
11:30
I arrived at Heathrow this morning, and was in a pretty good mood until I read in the Guardian that Shadow Secretary of State for Trade & Industry Tim Yeo had ‘uncovered’ Tony Blair’s failure to connect to the world via email.

I get testy at the best of times when someone rips me off, but there are a number of added factors that make me almost ropeable about this:

1. It’s a pretty cheap copy (he set up the email address rthontonyblairmp@hotmail.com).

3. Unlike Sue Doughty and Tom Watson, who have actually taken action with parliamentary questions on the matter, Tim has obviously set up this action as a cheap stunt to gain a few column inches.

3. It’s all very well and good to criticise Tony Blair for his e-failures, but Tim Yeo’s web presence appears to be limited to this page at e-politics and this page at the Conservatives website.

Hello Mr Pot? There’s a call for you on line two from Mr Kettle. Also, this clue just arrived by mail. What would you like me to do with it?

I try to stick by the rule of never emailing when angry, so Tim won’t be hearing from me today… but I do intend to point out to him that if he really wants to embrace new technology, then he should get off his arse and start a weblog.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030611
Riding High on Blogdex
Time
12:01
Heh. A day after talking with David Winer about a certain crappy parody of his site, this tops the chart at Blogdex.

I’ll be writing about the conference (the fun stuff and the serious stuff) sometime soon, but right now my body needs to sleep.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030611
Tony Blair’s Email
Time
19:07
Now the BBC has picked up the scrag end of this story (thanks to Al Storer for the heads-up). However, to their credit, they’ve not mentioned the lame Hotmail stunt.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030612

Time
10:47
My body clock is still adjusting and my brain is overflowing. I’ll try to spill a few things out here, just to equalise the pressure so I can get on with my day:

Trip Notes

1. Here’s a picture of the poor guy in front of me who wore dinner down his back. This hot chicken dish with a very messy tomato sauce could just have easily ended up on my lap.

2. Never travel by plane with even the slightest sinus condition unless it’s well-medicated, or the descent from 30,000ft will causes stabbing needle-like pains to repeatedly punch through your forehead and eyeballs and leave a residual headache that can last for up to 2 hours.

3. The I-94W Nonimmigrant Visa Waiver Arrival Form asked quite a few questions on the back, but this was the one that tickled/troubled me the most:

“D. Have you ever been or are you now involved in espionage or sabotage; or in terrorist activities; or genocide; or between 1933 and 1945 were you involved, in any way, in persecution associated with Nazi Germany or its allies?

4. Scott was kind enough to put me up (and put up with me) for the duration. He is a gent of the highest order and I really enjoyed spending time with him and his kin.

5. I also met up with Rod from groovymother.com (who, you may note, found my comments on the I-94W form we shared in a bar blogworthy) and Steve from Off On A Tangent, who was my guest at the conference. Steve was kind enough to furnish me with a recording of the segment of his radio show where JPEG Baby got an airing.

Conference Notes

1. The weblog conference was big on evangelism in the first day, but moved more onto some serious discussion of business applications in day two. Politics also got a late look-in.

2. Many, many folks blogged their comments and reactions live, but David Weinberger has by far the most comprehensive blow-by-blow of proceedings.

3. BTW, my rather scuffed copy of The Cluetrain Manifesto has now been personally signed by David, who has a doctorate, and Doc, who does not.

4. The biggest struggle at the conference was finding precedent to reference. Adoption of this no-brainer is painfully slow across the globe. It’s nice to know that I’m not alone on this front. When I get a chance, I’m thinking of writing an article on the benefits of early adoption. There’s a honeymoon period going on right now that makes the proposal of going live with a weblog much more attractive – but it’s not going to last.



5. Those of you who have met me more than once in the past will probably be aware that I change my business card design (based on photoshopping activity) on a regular basis. The current design looks to be a ‘keeper’ for now. It turned a few heads and raised more than a few laughs. I even got a nice email from Christopher Lydon who thought it was a real hoot. Besides featuring one of the most viral images I’ve created in the last 12 months, this design is also in keeping with the current political push here at Bloggerheads. And it’s got red-hot nipple action.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030612
Flash Music Video
Time
11:03
JPEG Baby linkage looks to be tailing off, but the song has today reached an audience in Lithuania, which is pretty cool. The American market remains largely uncracked.

Total page views to date: 50,448

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030612
Tony Blair’s Email
Time
11:34
And what happens when I finally calm down enough to draft an email to Tim Yeo?

1. The Register (who really have been slipping of late) pander to this stuntmaster without even mentioning the core campaign or – in what should be an obvious move for such mischief makers – that an email-to-facsimile address exists.

2. But what really got on my tits, ladies and gentlemen, was this repeat of the story on the Conservatives website that closes with the smug:

“By contrast, Conservative leader Iain Duncan Smith is fully contactable by email and has a dedicated correspondence team to help him keep in touch with party members and the public.”

I got in touch with the Conservative party last year in search of a little backing – well before the whole thing descended into a pornfest – but was informed that they didn’t want to get involved because Iain Duncan Smith has a 0% response rating to emails and faxes, and they were afraid that Labour would bounce straight back with this.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030612
It’s War! And Somebody’s Going To Pay!
Time
13:01
US prints Saddam banknotes. Thanks to Mark for pointing this one out. Irony is our greatest weapon.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030612
Tony Blair’s Email
Time
13:31
Thanks to Al Storer (again) I’ve found out that The Guardian has grabbed the wrong end of the stick – again. Sure, it’s a mildly amusing angle, but as I made clear in these published specifications Tony does not require an email address; he requires an email facility.

My request to other journalists and politicians who may latch onto this is simple:

If you’re not willing to put forward realistic proposals or actually make anything happen, then please stay the fuck out of it.

UPDATE – Also stay out of it if you’re a bloody hypocrite. The article linked above – penned by one Blake Morrison – closes by with the following:

“All suggestions gratefully received. No postcards, though – only email.”

And which email address should I send my suggestions to, Blake? There’s none listed in the print or online version of the article.

UPDATE 2 – I neglected to mention (thanks, Molina) that journalists at The Guardian are normally contactable by firstname.lastname@guardian.etc (or, in some cases, first initial and last name) but I tried both b.morrison@guardian.co.uk and blake.morrison@guardian.co.uk ahead of making this post and both bounced. And before anybody emails, I’ve already been in touch with the Blake Morrison who writes for USA Today and they’re not the same person. So don’t go bugging him. You may, however, choose to take the logical step of writing to the Guardian’s editor, or the features desk at G2 (where the article appeared) via g2 AT guardian DOT co DOT uk – which is what I’ll be doing in 5, 4, 3, 2…

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030612
A Blog Is Born
Time
14:22
Less than an hour ago, Al Storer and I were exchanging emails about Tony Blair and weblogs in general. He’d been thinking about putting up a weblog for ages, but was worried that, as he was off for a 3-month holiday soon, now may not have been the best time.

I emailed him back and told him to do it anyway. Now. You don’t have to post every day to run a weblog and holidays are fine (at least by my standards). He said he’d think about it. 35 minutes later he emailed me the URL of his brand new weblog.

This makes me very happy. Right now I’m off to insert proper link credits into the relevant Blair posts. Because I can.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030612
Tony Blair’s Email: Letters Special
Time
16:21
This comment following Tom’s post on this subject is simply brilliant. I am in Dr Funk’s debt, and currently kicking myself for not thinking of this yesterday…

—– Original Message —–

From: Tim Ireland

To: abuse@hotmail.com

Sent: Thursday, June 12, 2003 4:20 PM

Subject: Fake Tony Blair Address

Dear Sirs,

The following articles clearly show that the account rthontonyblairmp@hotmail.com has been set up in violation of your terms of service, in that it has been used to ‘create a false identity for the purpose of misleading others.’

http://politics.guardian.co.uk/labour/story/0,9061,974811,00.html

http://www.conservatives.com/news/article.cfm?obj_id=63596

http://www.theregister.co.uk/content/6/31142.html

Wide publication of this address also threatens to overburden or impair the associated network.

I am requesting that the account be deactivated immediately and that notification be sent to the service provider via webmaster@parliament.uk

Regards,

Tim Ireland

https://www.bloggerheads.com/

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Date
20030612
Atticus Finch is a Nigger-Lover
Time
18:49
Gregory Peck has just passed way at age 87.

I saw The Omen on television the night before To Kill a Mockingbird was shown at school, so this had me expecting a number of things from young Scout that Just. Didn’t. Happen.

It kind of ruined the film for me on the day, but a re-read of the book and a rental on VHS had me well sorted a decade later.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030612

Time
22:03
I still have to poke around a bit more and trial a few bits and bobs over time (plus wait for a few others by the look of things), but Technorati looks to be the most promising blog tracking tool in a dog’s age.

It’s dynamite stuff. I can’t believe I had to go to Boston to find out about it! Tomorrow I’ll be playing with the new keyword search.

If it continues to impress at this level, it’ll be on my nav-bar within a week.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030613

Time
08:27
How good is Technorati? Well, Al Storer went live with a new weblog yesterday and Technorati had it indexed within 12 hours. Later today, I’m going to have a play with the new keyword search.

BTW, it was via Al’s new blog that I discovered the wonderful Voter Apathy Party. How do you combat voter apathy? Well, talking to us like we’re human beings would be a good start.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030613

Time
08:37
Qwest fired an entire telemarketing firm after a representative left a ‘threatening, expletive-laden message’ on the voice-mail of a call recipient who dared to hang up on him.

Been there. Done that.

Mine even took the number home so his father could shout at me some more.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030613
Flash Games
Time
08:43
Play Wild West (Pepsi) Pinball (link via flabber.nl).

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030613

Time
08:48
U.S. Patent # 6,485,773: Semen taste-enhancement dietary supplement.

Not the first product of its kind, and pretty dull to boot. Now, a dietary supplement that tasted of semen – that I could see a market for. You could call them Protein Slurpees.

Seeing as I’ve already made you spill your tea, here’s some advice on shaving your pubic hair. This site not only has a cool hairy puppet as a mascot, it prides itself on featuring ‘different methods of hair removal with a special concentration on areas that others don’t like to talk about.’

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030613
Tony Blair’s Email
Time
09:00
I suppressed my rage just long enough to send a short email to Tim Yeo yesterday (see Wednesday and Thursday in the archives if you missed the fun). He has yet to get back to me.

Perhaps someone should get in touch with the man and warn him that when I get ignored Mr Bigglesworth gets angry…

BTW, like most people, I have tracking that lets me know who’s watching. Yesterday, page views of Bloggerheads from parliament.uk increased tenfold. Hello everybody. While I have your attention…

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030613

Time
09:09
Microphone stand impales pregnant woman.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030613

Time
09:11
Adam Ant appears to be settling down. He’s moved on from going beserk in pubs to going beserk in cafes.



UPDATE – Tee-hee! Look what happens when you search for ‘Stuart Goddard’ in Google.

I really must do something about Celebrity Bestiality soon. This was my first major experiment in SEO and was very useful in its day, but lately I just can’t be arsed to make up bestial nonsense each and every month.

After months of neglect it’s still No. 3 for the search term ‘bestiality’ in Google. A lot of this comes down to a little-known aspect of Google’s ranking algorithm relating to site/index history. I created CB almost 4 years ago – well before most porn merchants cottoned onto the fact that there was a widely-used alternate spelling of the word ‘beastiality’ – and have pretty much been updating it with fresh content on a monthly basis since then.

This puts it in a position that’s pretty hard to beat without a time machine. Fresh content each month would keep it exactly where it is indefinitely, but as I said; I simply cannot be arsed these days. I’m wondering right now if I should sell it to a porn merchant or just let it die a natural death.

Actually, let’s make it the subject of some Friday Feeback. It’s been a while, and I think I need a little moral guidance. Should I get back to work on it, sell it off, let it die, or do something else? Emails to the usual address.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030613
Riding High on Blogdex
Time
09:14
The trouble with trackback. It’s long and boring, but kind of important.

If you understand all of that (or perhaps feel in some vague way that you need to) then you may also wish to take in the AlwaysOn debate.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030613

Time
09:15
Martha sings!

Wing sings!

Wingdings!

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030613

Time
09:22
I barely had time to scratch my bum in Boston, but if I’d found a lazy hour or so, I would have been on a Boston Duck Tour in a shot.

Along the roads, past the sights, then straight into the river for more of the same. Is there something like this in London? If not – why not?

UPDATE – Hooray, there is! (Matt and Al submitted links within 10 seconds of each other.)

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030613

Time
09:29
Nigel Turner wants to put black into the Jack. Can we also have a little green dot to represent the shape-shifting aliens that secretly rule our lives? How about a brown smear to celebrate the bullshit thrown about in this great nation of ours?

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030613

Time
09:43
Jesus Christ: the press conference. I remember when advertising guru Siimon Reynolds (please note wanky spelling of name) was asked on a chat show to come up with a slogan for the second coming. He earned my respect for all of 11.5 seconds with this:

‘Jesus Christ; Thank God He’s Back!’

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030613
Tony Blair’s Email
Time
10:00
Blair email ‘discovery’ used as intro for spam article. The Guardian. Again. Neil, if you’re watching, can you send a memo around or something?

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030613
Flash Music Video
Time
10:03
Some forum love for JPEG Baby has been coming in from BeyondUnreal/Jolt and the Wil Wheaton forum. Also, here’s a bunch of people saying nice things about it in Italian. Total page views since launch: 51,751

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030613

Time
10:18
Job of lord chancellor abolished after 1,400 years; Law lords to be replaced by US-style supreme court.

Australians got a fair bit of stick for ‘voting to keep the Queen,’ but they only did so because Little Johnny Howard made damn sure that the alternative model proposed in the referendum was a presidential one. I’m not a big fan of the monarchy or outmoded institutions in general, but I do think there’s a need for safety valves – especially with a blinkered leader like Blair in charge. I’m not the only one who’s more than a little bit worried about this development.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030613
Friday Feedback
Time
10:43
I’ve got a new song in my head, but to bring it to life I need someone who can perform and record a jolly good cover of The Dandy Warhols’ Bohemian Like You. Any takers?

If this isn’t you, then don’t panic. You still get to send me email. See the updated post about halfway down the page relating to Celebrity Bestiality.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030616

Time
08:25
Coca-Cola delivery sacked after 12 years of service for drinking Pepsi on the job.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030616
Photoshopping
Time
08:27
I really must look in at Worth1000 more often. This competition is pretty flat as far as variety goes, but the work itself is just wonderful: What do you think Martha’s cell would look like?

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030616
Does What It Says On The Tin
Time
08:31
Hot on the heels of rent-a-negro.com comes downwithwhitey.com

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030616

Time
08:32
Virgin Mary appears in hospital window. And here’s a picture, boys and girls…

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030616
Flash Music Video
Time
08:34
Have we done Poland yet? Oh, and after weeks of two links here and three links there, JPEG Baby has finally entered the Blogdex chart – at #32. Total page views since launch: 53,206.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030616

Time
08:42
Man arrested in million dollar eBay fraud. Lots of thousand-dollar laptops never arrived.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030616

Time
08:43
Sausages for lunch, anyone?

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030616

Time
08:44
A fine collection of screen captures of farewell messages from failed dotcoms. The final message from misguided keyword ownership venture Realnames is my favourite. They just can’t believe it.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030616

Time
08:48
This is why you never see an actual picture of the product on the front of a sex-doll box. Unsurprisingly, they’re all rubbish. The Dyanna Lauren Fantasy Doll has an artifical vagina where her bellybutton should be.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030616
The Political Weblog Movement
Time
09:29
This looks to be the week where we might actually make a breakthrough. A lot of people, some prompted by me, some not, are waking up to the political applications of weblogs. Some have done so without even realising it:

“A third part of the answer lies in ministers’ own hands too. As well as listening to criticism, they have got to find a way of addressing the public more credibly. They have to find a way of being more grown-up in public. This means seriously dismantling parts of the centralised on-message culture to allow politicians to admit to uncertainty, error and ambivalence. The trust issue will never recover without such a loosening up.

“But the need to engage has to go much wider. Last week, the Hansard Society published a pamphlet, A Tale of Two Houses, which suggests ways in which the political class as a whole can open its mind and its eyes to the Big Brother generation. Politicians, suggests the author, should do far more to show that they live in the same world as the millions who live in this instantly connected world. Not necessarily to be like them, but certainly to know what it is like to be them.”

Some, however, have already got the wrong end of this bloody stick I’ve been gnawing on for what seems like forever.

Tom Watson gets it. Gary Hart gets it. Howard Dean does not.

By engaging their audiences directly, people like Tom and Gary have built up a natural network of support in a very short time. Howard Dean does not publish his thoughts directly, and so his support network has far less to go on. Their pleading posts to Usenet (and often directly to me) to visit and/or include a link to his so-called weblog read like associate spam. Why? Because his blog lacks personal content (and, therefore, the correct context).

I’m going to be in touch with Andrew Pinder’s office this week to see if we can’t bring something solid together here in the UK. His department is in charge of leading the e-volution of government services, they’re long-overdue for a well-publicised winning initiative, and this one is a no-brainer.

A ‘Weblogs for MPs’ intitiave also sets an excellent precedent for the senatorial weblog drive.

However, it’s also very easy to get this kind of thing very, very wrong.

It won’t be enough to simply make the technology available (although I do have plans to make it more accessible). An MP needs to know what a weblog is and why he/she needs it before theirs will come to life. The drive of the individual is all-important. (I’ve been congratulated in the past for ‘getting an MP to blog,’ but I have to point out that Tom Watson came to me knowing exactly what he wanted to do and why he wanted to do it.)

The existence of Tom’s blog makes the whole thing a lot easier to understand, especially as he’s doing so well at it. The main part of this drive, then, is finding a few more folks who can lead by example. I hate to sound on-message about this, but it’s ‘hearts and minds’ time, people.

Tom’s weblog has not only shown us what press clippings and soundbites cannot (that he’s a real person who faces real challenges) he’s brought a number of documents to light that – while being publicly available – often do not reach their audience as they seem terribly abstract when not presented in context (or are hidden away, buried deep in massive databases).

If Tom works on a document or makes a decision based on it, then he links to it. That’s engaging. I’ve read a number of things via his weblog that I normally wouldn’t have bothered to look up. Because I’m interested in him, I’m interested in what he’s doing.

Another reason for Andrew Pinder’s office to get involved. This will be a win well beyond a simple matter of accessibility. It will also breath life into many past initiatives (such as those web-accessible government reports and other such documents that are currently wasting away in the ether).

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030616
Tony Blair’s Email
Time
12:43
Still no word from Tim Yeo. I wonder if he reads his email?

Has anybody else emailed him and actually received a reply?

PS – Thanks for the weekend feedback. It looks like Celebrity Bestiality is destined for ebay.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030616

Time
13:00
Twice since Friday I’ve had to send polite emails to Labour MPs who are requesting inclusion at Tom’s list of Labour MPs online, warning them that it is not a smart idea to have a domain name with ‘mp’ in it.

When an election is announced, you lose the status of being an active MP. Even if you get voted straight back in, this still means that you legally have to relocate the website at what is a very crucial time. Not smart. Ann Widdecombe came a cropper on this technicality during the last election, but she still hasn’t learned her lesson.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030616

Time
13:31
Cool. I rated a mention in the weblog conference wrap-up. Thanks, Rebecca. There’s a crisp twenty in the mail.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Date
20030616

Time
13:47
Labour website hacked; photoshopped images planted. Mum, I swear I had nothing to do with it. Really.








Posted in Uncategorized | Comments Off on 02-16 June, 2003