You better watch out…

Carol serviceWe’re good to go.

I’ll really need your support on this folks; we have just over five days to let people know about it:

You are cordially invited to a public carol service in Parliament Square at 6pm on Wednesday the 21st of December 2005.

This inclusive service will contain both Christian and secular verse, and is expected to last no more than an hour.

Candles and song sheets will be made available, with donations going to Medical Aid for Iraqi Children.

Please note that if you attend this carol service, it will classify as a spontaneous demonstration (of faith, hope, joy and/or religious tolerance) and there is a possibility that you will be cautioned or arrested under Section 132 of the Serious and Organised Crimes and Police Act 2005.

Click here for more information.

Merry Christmas to one and all.

UPDATE – Oh dear… I wanted to send an invite to Charles Clarke, but his website has gone bye-byes (see what it used to look like here). Oh well. I’ll take a shot at clarkec@parliament.uk and see how far I get.

UPDATE – Invites sent to Tony Blair and Cherie Booth (some nice folks who happen to live just down the road).

UPDATE – In the spirit of the season, I have also invited Michael Foster.








Posted in The War on Stupid | 6 Comments

Look, Mum! I’m on the BBC!

I’ve been invited to do some guest-blogging on the BBC website as part of the Today programme ‘Who runs Britain?’ event.

The other contributors are Oliver and Judy.

I really should begin by congratulating Judy for ‘spoiling’ any mention of Murdoch in this earlier post (mirrored here).

If you’re in an enclosed space that’s packed with pachyderm, the best way to counter any complaint about the lack of elbow-room is to proclaim loudly; “I bet someone mentions the elephant!”

Anyway, here’s the mirror of my entry:

EU MUST BE JOKING

If the question is ‘Who runs Britain?’, then today’s candidate – the European Union – shouldn’t even be considered for the top spot.

We are voluntary participants in that union. Even if you hold the view that an unelected bureaucracy with a mind of its own drives/cripples/threatens our economy, laws and rights, you have to acknowledge that we helped to create this animal…. and that the primary weapon used to beat this mythical creature is a rolled-up newspaper.

We can say goodbye to the union or seek to change or re-shape it at any time we please. We have that power. But the terms under which we the people get to have a say about this have been shaped not by the elected government of the day, but by media owner Rupert Murdoch.

As a candidate, the European Union serves primarily as a clear example that allows us to put the following alternative candidates in their correct order:

1. The Media
2. The Government
3. The People

OK, that’s the question addressed… a short and clearly biased rant follows:

The EU is a foreign and largely unelected body that drains our economy and interferes with our affairs… so say the newspapers owned by the unelected tax-dodging foreigner who continually meddles in our affairs.

(Feel free to ignore this information… it’s all part of a nutty conspiracy theory.)








Posted in Rupert 'The Evil One' Murdoch | 3 Comments

I need a choir

If we’re going to have a carol service in Parliament Square, we’ll need a choir to lead us. I’ve been calling around, chatting and leaving messages for most of the afternoon.

1. Everybody is busy
2. Those that aren’t busy are not entirely happy about risking arrest
3. The one group that doesn’t mind this so much is ‘strictly secular’… so they don’t do Christmas carols

If you have any hot leads that I may not have tried, then please do get in touch.








Posted in Updates | Comments Off on I need a choir

It’s a crying shame…

No-one wants the mobile phone number of a hot Page 3 lesbian. Oh well. If she’s smart, she’ll have disconnected the thing by now, anyway.








Posted in Consume! | Comments Off on It’s a crying shame…

Michael Foster MP – servant of the Party and master of Doublethink

Trust me; you’ll want to use this information after reading Michael Foster’s letter to the Independent on Monday:

Michael Foster – Labour MP for Hastings & Rye
The Ellen Draper Centre, 84 Bohemia Rd, St Leonards, TN37 6RN
Phone: 01424 460070
Email: mp@1066.net

(OOPS! I initially got the wrong Michael Foster. These details have now been updated. Thanks to poons for the heads-up.)

Here it is the full text of that letter. If you haven’t seen/read it yet, I suggest that you put your coffee to one side for a moment…

New law protects the right to protest

Sir: I am really sorry that my constituent Maya Evans was convicted under Section 122 of the new Serious Organised Crime and Police Act 2005 (report, 8 December).

On the face of it, it looked to be an overreaction on the part of the prosecutors but be that as it may, it would be wrong to say that the legislation is unnecessary. Its purpose is not to deny protest but to ensure that such protest is possible.

Historically all sorts of protests have taken place around Parliament, but with the current terrorist threat it would be easy to mask a terrorist atrocity under the guise of a legitimate demonstration. The easy solution would have been to simply ban such protest – as the media indeed claim is the purpose of the Act – but that was not the Government’s intention.

Section 122 of the Act makes protests within 1km of Parliament illegal unless authorised by the police. However, the police are required to give that authorisation unless public safety or national security is compromised. Thus protests such as that of Maya Evans can be accommodated, provided the police are informed in advance. Indeed it should be noted that Miss Evans’s fellow demonstrator Mr Rai did give such notice and was not prosecuted.

Ms Evans’s prosecution is unfortunate and appears to have been somewhat zealous, but to suggest it is an attack on free speech is bizarre. Such a right must be, and indeed is, protected by this legislation.

MICHAEL FOSTER MP
HASTINGS AND RYE

Jesus H. Christ on crutches…. I know that dancing to Blair’s tune requires a fair degree of ingenuity and creativity, but this step is a doozy!

Derek Cole says it best in his follow-up letter that appeared the next day: Never can the reputation and standing of a Member of Parliament like Michael Foster have disintegrated in so spectacular and public a fashion. He abandoned his constituent Maya Evans to her fate for a “Serious and Organised Crime” on the very day the Government legal team to which he belongs was opposing the ban on torture in the courts.

On that same letters page there is also a response from Milan Rai, who may yet be charged.

The purpose of this legislation (covered previously on Bloggerheads here, here, here and here) is twofold:

1. To evict Brian Haw
2. To stifle protest at the heart of our democracy

Over to Milan Rai: The crucial issue is not whether you “give notice” to the police – as I did – but whether you fill in a new form requesting permission to hold your demonstration. Somehow Mr Foster thinks that these forms will protect us from terrorist atrocities disguised as anti-war protests. They don’t and they can’t. Filling in the new forms is co-operation with a law that forbids the use of loudspeakers (which undermines the ability of stewards to keep large crowds in order), and that gives the police the power to impose conditions on your protest that can rob it of any real meaning (an all-night vigil might be turned into a 20-minute protest). It’s a law that forbids any spontaneous protests near Parliament, and covers a wide area well beyond Parliament, across to the South Bank.

And now a quick word from moi: If the Blair government do anything so outlandish that it prompts immediate protest, from Monday the police will have the legal right to shut down any such protest at the very seat of our slowly dwindling democracy and arrest anyone they damn well please, just for being there. And that’s the real point of this stupid law. It may have been sold to willing MPs who (if they are human) feel pangs of guilt every time they have to pass Haw’s encampment, but what this is really about is stifling dissent.

If David Cameron had any balls or morals (or perhaps even a simple sense of priorities), his opening volley would have been aimed directly at this new legislation and Charles Clarke’s near-to-total exploitation of it.

Our government has crimes past and crimes ongoing to answer for and nothing – nothing – is going to move forward until these bastards are called to account. Education, health, the environment… nothing!

Further, the risk of terror only grows under a government that exacerbates the threat by seeking to manipulate it. Torturing people doesn’t help, either.

This matter must be addressed…. and your starter for ten is this legislation. It is specifically designed to minimise the consequences of our government’s actions, and exposes the Big Lie for what it is.

Perhaps David Cameron feels that if he lets it slide for a while he will have a better chance of winning an election against a discredited government. If that’s his plan, then he can fuck right off. The Brownies deserve a slap, too. They can take their planned smooth transition and stick it up their arse. Sideways.

The last thing we need right now is a bunch of bloody bystanders.

If we’re not careful, this could get very ugly: Tony Blair provokes terrorism. By denying what causes it and silencing dissent with anti-terror powers, he creates the very conditions in which terrorism thrives.

The matter of this government’s disgraceful conduct over Iraq and the ‘war’ on terror must be addressed, and it must be addressed now.

Start. With. This. Legislation.

Back a full Parliamentary inquiry into our government’s role in the run-up to the Iraq war and its aftermath.

The only alternative is to let the next bastard know that he can get away it.

UPDATE – Chicken Yoghurt – Protest too much








Posted in The War on Stupid | 3 Comments

Bloggerheads – Year Four

Bloggerheads was born at 10:02am on Friday, December 14, 2001.

This is the fourth annual breakdown of events, bloggage and stats. Here are the first three (just in case you missed them):
Bloggerheads – Year OneDecember 2002
Bloggerheads – Year TwoDecember 2003
Bloggerheads – Year ThreeDecember 2004

Number of Posts

2002 – 2,375 posts, approx 8-9 posts each weekday, 1.61MB of raw .TXT data
2003 – 3,055 posts, approx 10-11 posts each weekday, 3.11MB of raw .TXT data
2004 – 2,437 posts, approx 12-13 posts each weekday, 3.15MB of raw .TXT data
2005 – 752 posts, approx 2-3 posts each weekday, 11.5MB of raw .HTML data

A trickier count this year, due to the change in platform. There’s also been a change in the way that I blog.

Bloggerheads upgraded to Movable Type in late 2004. The old format published a day’s output on one page, while MT generates a new page for each and every post. The tendency in such a situation is to post less, but put more into each post. As a result, I’m writing more, but I’m publishing less frequently.

It should also be noted that this data does not take into account the added bloggage for Anne Milton and Backing Blair.

Number of Images

Backing Blair - core poster2002 – 762 photoshopped images
2003 – 379 photoshopped images
2004 – 498 photoshopped images
2005 – 332 photoshopped images

Thes best images of 2005 have been added to my photoshopping gallery, along with a whole new category.

Last year I said the following: There’s also a range of images that I’ve produced over the last few weeks that I’m not allowed to show you yet. These are even better. Hang in there.

Yes, I was talking about the first drafts of the Backing Blair posters, and this one – the main one that we managed to get out and about in London on the side of a 48-sheet poster-van is a shoe-in for Picture Of The Year.

It was also noted in the 2004 report that; (T)here’s been far less nonsense and far more comment in (my photoshopping). In fact, many of these pictures were created as part of a campaign or part of a Flash show that was part of a campaign.

Little has changed this past year, apart from the fact that I’ve produced less images and more Flash. Speaking of which, here’s a new list:

Number of Flash Shows

2002 – 0 flash shows
2003 – 1 flash show
2004 – 5 Flash shows
2005 – 10 Flash shows

Don’t expect an increase in the coming year; The World According To Leo Blair has pretty much wiped me out for now.

Number of Visitors

2002 – 101,302 unique visitors to the core weblog
2003 – 294,442 unique visitors to the core weblog
2004 – 449,201 unique visitors to the core weblog
2005 – 718,196 unique visitors to the core weblog

There is new tracking to go with the new publishing format. There are also many more visitors to individual posts. If we count people who only look at individual posts as visitors to the weblog, the actual figure is well over a million.

On an average weekday, the core weblog reaches 1,900-2,200 people. Two notable peaks were:

27 Jan 2005 (10,301 unique visitors to the core weblog) – primarily due to this post being the top search result for ‘crazy frog’ while they had those ads on TV all day… Every. Single. Day.

07 May 2005 – (44,410 unique visitors to the core weblog) – the Saturday following the general election.

The latter completely destroyed the previous record of approx 15,000 in a day.

The Army of the Core Faithful – visiting every weekday without fail, usually more than once – has grown in number from 90 (in 2002) to well over 200 (in 2003) to just over 300 (in 2004) to a *smidgen* under 400 in 2005. Blessings go out to each and every one of you (and your cotton socks).

Daily peaks have changed to match my latest blogging patterns. I no longer blog like a madman each and every morning before 9:30am. We’re now dealing with more of a gentle hill than a mountain, with its peak at 3 or 4pm GMT.

Last year there were approximately 500 unique visitors who accessed the site via the gsi.gov.uk or parliament.uk servers. This year, there were well over 1,000.

Referrers

The biggest referrer this year is Google, who have sent 553,141 unique visitors my way (obviously not all to the core weblog). Yahoo sent me 176,783 unique visitors, and MSN sent me 45,919.

The top web site/page referrer is The London Underground Song which, despite being down for most of the year, still managed to send more people to the core weblog than any individual website (21,410 in all).

The Top 10 search queries of 2005 were:
star wars
crazy frog
mustard man
page 3 girls
london underground song
m*a*s*h
bum
mash
page 3
porn

The search result that earned the most traffic – ‘star wars’ – brought in 225,085 visitors.

(Note – These visitors are mostly visiting the static pages in my photoshopping gallery and the Star Wars Photoshopping Project; they are not part of the weblog traffic count above. Ditto for project numbers below.)

2002 project highlights/updatesThe M*A*S*H Quiz reached 45,231 people in 2002, 37,788 people in 2003, 32,940 people in 2004 and 49,401 people in 2005. It’s still tick-tick-ticking over…. in fact, the new and healthier search results on this have led to a new peak.

2003 project highlights/updatesJPEG Baby reached 93,745 people in 2003. In 2004, it reached 148,892 people. In 2005, it reached 167,498 people. And *still* no record deal. Ho-hum. The Star Wars Photoshopping Project reached 42,279 people in 2003 and 50,103 in 2004. In 2005, it reached 131,265 people. Search results account for the growth.

2004 project highlights/updatesThe Happy Poster Project reached 60,863 unique visitors in 2004. In 2005, it reached a mere 32,487. Page 3 – Model Propaganda: The Sun, The Girls, The Truth reached 40,137 unique visitors in 2004. This year, it reached 112,749. Search results. Again. It’s still 3rd in Google for ‘page 3 girls’ and also enjoying the fruits of many model-specific searches.

Top Projects from 2005

Backing Blair (OFFSITE)
265,420 unique visitors during the election campaign period
480,035 unique visitors overall
This was the main project of the year. I spent four months developing and building it (in conjunction with Balders and Wibbler) and then another four months getting over it. Basically, we aimed to halve Blair’s majority. One might be tempted to say ‘mission accomplished’, but our full mission was ‘Labour in. Blair Out’ – the job’s only half-done. We’re now back on deck with two new videos; Not Over By a Long Shot and The World According To Leo Blair.

Please note – the ‘Backing Blair’ traffic figures do *not* include the traffic figures for the following (hosted at the same site):

The London Underground Song (OFFSITE)
Lots and lots and lots and lots of unique visitors
Hard to track, this one… as it hasn’t been live on the same server from start to finish. Also, it has ‘escaped’ to many other sites, and I don’t have access to their stats. As a stand-alone MP3 file, it was attracting 1,000 downloads a day, but as a flash music video, it started drawing up to 30,000 visitors a day. It attracted a quarter of a million individual web users in a fortnight at its original location before the host had a minor fit. I showed it to one of the ‘special projects’ chaps at a major record label in order to make my case for the use of Flash to promote music online, but he couldn’t get past the fact that the song was about London, and therefore had ‘limited appeal’. (“But I’m not talking about the song, I’m talking about its promotion!” “Yes, but you can only promote it to people who live in London.” Arggghhh!)

WMD Hunt (OFFSITE)
Created in conjunction with Mushybees, this little election offering was kindly hosted by Spinon and contributed to the 208,000 unique visits they generated during the election campaign period. It is currently 4th in Google if you’re seeking UK-specific information about ‘wmd’, and could do even better with a simple change to the Page Title.

The Anne Milton weblog
37,330 unique visitors
The full story of this very special weblog can be read here.

Star Wars: The Musical Tribute (OFFSITE)
18,812 unique visitors
I started off wondering what would be a good piece of music for a slide show of The Star Wars Photoshopping Project when Don’t Stop Believin’ – and this idea – got stuck in my head… then stayed there for 1 year, 25 days, 20 hours and 41 minutes until I finally got around to making it a reality. It serves as a starter for Murdoch Watch should I even get around to making that a reality.

Almost there, folks… here’s the perennial target list:

Did I appear on the front page of a broadsheet newspaper this year? Yes. One down… but don’t get your hopes up for anything much beyond this.

Did I complete my novel? No. Haven’t touched the bloody thing since carving the framework two years ago. I now use that to get to sleep at nights. (“Right stop thinking about Blair/Bush/Uzbekistan… how does Frank get from the external vent to the bottom of the shaft without doing himself a serious injury?”)

Did I get a record deal? No. However… something significant has changed on this front. That project that’s been simmering on the backburner for well over a decade was (theoretically) limited to a Christmas release because of the whole ‘novelty’ issue…. but now we have a robust ‘real tune’ ringtone market where novelty is king. All I have to do is take the demo I have, produce an animation for it, then plug this into a delivery system or come to an agreement with a provider. But I’ve got other fish to fry first…

Did I finish my SEO book? No, but now I’m being chased by an agency, that may change… plus, I’ve got some kick-arse case studies to add from this past year.

OK, we’re ready to wrap this up with…

What’s coming next year?

Well, it was supposed to be ready a few months ago, but it’s a big beastie and it will take a while longer to sort out. I’m on the case.

Cheers all.

UPDATE – Ooh, look! A new weblog with clearly stated influences. That reminds of something I forgot to do last year, and nearly forgot to do this year. If you have started (or re-started) blogging in the past year because of stuff going on in and around Bloggerheads, drop me a line and I’ll knock up a list for the record. (Later. Christmas first. Perhaps an arrest or two.)








Posted in Updates | 3 Comments

Busy week this week. Here’s why:

1. The first ‘MPs and Weblogs’ seminar is this evening. You won’t be able to RSVP at this late stage, but seats are still available. Just turn up or (if you must) send a member of staff along.

2. I’ll be doing some guest-blogging on the BBC website as part of the Today Programme Who runs Britain? event. The part of the website that relates to this has yet to go live, but – as it’s a blogging BBC thing – it’s a fair bet that a certain BBC blogger will provide a heads-up when it does.

3. The report on Year 4 of Bloggerheads is due this time tomorrow. I have a 1500-word report ready to roll, but need to do some last-minute number-crunching late this evening.

4. I woke up this morning wondering if you would be arrested for singing Christmas carols within the exclusion zone…. and need to chat to a few people about that today. (Email me with any thoughts/ideas you may have if you feel so inclined.)

5. I’m helping to develop a special new ‘find blogs like this one’ tool. There’s testing and data entry that has to happen later this week. (PS – You may wish to check out this list of promising new bloggers.)

6. Oh, and work. I have to do some work.








Posted in Updates | Comments Off on Busy week this week. Here’s why:

When are we going to kick this bastard out?

BlairWatch – Why the UK Government Can’t Hold the Line: On assurances that we don’t use intelligence extracted by torture

Independent – Blair’s Britain 2005 – where peaceful protest can be costly

UPDATE (12 Dec) – Did anyone else catch Jack Straw on Radio 4 this morning? As far as he’s concerned, no rendition flights have passed through the UK because:

1) None have shown up in his records.
2) Condi Rice says so.
3) The Clinton administration asked permission twice since Labour came to power, therefore he has every reason to believe that the Bush administration would do the same thing (in this brave new world where ‘the rules of the game have changed’). And the Bush administration hasn’t asked for permission. At all. Therefore, it hasn’t happened. At all.

UPDATE – See also…

UPDATE (13 Dec) Weasel words from Jack Straw dated 30 November 2005. Note how he fails to answer the question. Has an assessment has been made of the effect on our international standing following our use of intelligence (see: ‘evidence’) gained by torture? The answer Jack Straw fails to give is ‘no’… all he says is that he is unaware of any adverse effect resulting from the government’s stated policy. Probably because an assessment hasn’t been made. Instead he waffles on with a rather selective denial. We never torture people and we never instigate torture. Sure, we create the conditions in which torture thrives, tolerate the hell out of it and then seek to use the intelligence that results, but this should not be mistaken for any kind of approval or encouragement. Interesting that he mentions training, though.

UPDATE – In Europe, 2 views of Rice’s mission

UPDATE – OMG! We forgot Poland!

UPDATE – BlairWatch – Jack Straw Re-Defines ‘Aware’








Posted in Tony 'King Blair | 3 Comments

Operation Firedump

Calling all plane-spotters! This is a mirror. The original post can be found here.

v all details below the fold v

Continue reading








Posted in It's War! It's Legal! It's Lovely! | 3 Comments

A few extras

Damn… I forgot that I’m supposed to whore this link and insist that you vote for me.

Here, have those extras I promised:
Bush’s Tookie – Remembering Bush’s worst public moment (via)
Well said, CuriousHamster.
Nifty tool for colourising images (via Rob @ B3ta – enjoy the latest newsletter)
RSS Feeds On Your Toilet Paper (via)
Another ‘escape from the room’ game (Don’t be a pussy and look for the walk-through… tough it out!)
Watching all six Star Wars movies simultaneously (via)








Posted in Inneresting | Comments Off on A few extras