Competence and consequence

Posted on January 23, 2006 by Tim Ireland

The Times – MI5 knew of bomber’s plan for holy war: Britain’s top spies knew that the ringleader of the London bombers was planning to fight for Al-Qaeda more than a year before the July 7 suicide attacks, security sources have revealed. MI5 bugged Mohammad Sidique Khan and Shehzad Tanweer, a second bomber, for two months as they talked about Khan’s desire to fight in what he saw as the Islamic holy war. Agents also listened in as the men talked between themselves about Khan’s plans to return to Pakistan where he had attended a camp for British terrorists. They also spoke about engaging in crime to raise money for Islamic extremism. However, police and MI5 officers ruled that the two men were not an “immediate risk” and did not present a “direct threat” to national security. The detectives’ assessment was that the men were primarily involved in fraud rather than preparing to mount attacks in the near future. As a result, surveillance on them stopped, allowing the attacks that killed 52 people and injured 700 to go ahead.

Further proof, if you needed it, that there is no need for an inquiry into circumstances leading up to the July 7 attacks.

Link via Rachel, who has a lot to say about this.

(PS – Don’t let this stop you thinking about that poor whale and what MPs do with their penises.)








Posted in The War on Stupid | 2 Comments

Pardon my scatological observation

Posted on January 23, 2006 by Tim Ireland

Shit/fan interface

Posted to B3ta.








Posted in Photoshopping | 2 Comments

“Our legal advice is that Mark Oaten is not a paedophile.”

Posted on January 23, 2006 by Tim Ireland

Guido – Its The Pod What Did It: Wednesday night, a few drinks, a digital recorder, Guido and a drunken Monkey. A beta podcast for a select few emailed on Thursday. Those of you who heard the podcast will know why Guido is smirking. Did it hint enough? We posted the feedback responses over at GuidoandtheMonkey.Com Thursday and Friday. Popbitch (the home of webmongs, gayers and unemployed freelance journos) referred to the libellous nature of the podcast. Anyway it was in the public domain Thursday, “bloggers are making jokes about it”, and coincidentally the News of the Screws swoops…

Recess Monkey – A good job he likes a bit of humiliation: To all those that counselled me a few days ago that I would be sued by Mark Oaten; please feel free to eat your hats.

Europhobia – Oaten outing follow-up: Still can’t quite get my head around what the point of this whole outing thing was… Guido claims the scoop, anyway. Not much to be proud of, I’d have thought, destroying the life of a minor politician and doubtless his family to boot… Still, Guido’s commentors seem to be having fun – latent homophobia or just the repression of wishing they had the guts to hire some arse themselves?

CuriousHamster – Joining the Dots: Oaten’s role in Blair’s blackest day might have already been forgotten by most people in the country. That he was once high on the Sun’s list of traitors may also be forgotten. I tell you what though. I bet I can name at least two other people in this country who do remember. Can you guess? OK, here’s a clue. Their initials are TB and RW.

Chicken Yoghurt – Oaten: What a bloody disgrace. Does this kind of thing really still sell newspapers? In the 21st century? Are people really that lacking in their own lives? What the hell has this got to do with anyone except Oaten and his family (including two daughters who have to go to school tomorrow)? What Oaten did was wrong, yes. But within the confines of his marriage. To say he’s been politically naive is an understatement but that’s not a hanging offence yet either. It seems Oaten has enough problems without the moral adjudicators of a Murdoch newspaper stirring the pot… None other than Guido Fawkes himself is claiming Oaten’s corpse. He says he outed Oaten in a drunken podcast that made its way as far as that august journal of public morality, Popbitch. He also gives some self-serving, arse-covering excuse about Oaten having been hypocritical over the Government’s plans for prostitution. If this is the kind of thing bloggers need to do to get noticed then I for one want no part of it. And if this turns out to be the first stripe British bloggers earn (“British bloggers claim first scalp”), it will have been scrawled with a turd.

DoctorVee – Who said blogging was an antidote to the MSM?: I like Guido’s and Recess Monkey’s blogs. But I wish they would stick with the jokes and jibes rather than this privacy-invading sub-tabloid tittle-tattle.

Jarndyce – Piggy-backing on Oaten, but he was drunk, mind: Look, look at me everybody. Go on, look. LOOK. It’s another one of my scoops that I break fucking ages after it’s broken somewhere else. And look, mummy, I caught one of those nasty bummers this time. Yes, mummy, a horrid, sordid little homo. But I nailed him. I really gave it to him. Roasted the little bastard. Skewered him. His daughters, too. So, pleeeease look. Pleeease. Puh-leeeease.

I’m equally depressed and disappointed by this… and I agree that Guido and Recess Monkey don’t have a lot to be proud of.

Topical as they may have been, the paedo jokes in the podcast that formed the bulk of the ‘obvious’ hints send an insidious message. You should also note that Guido and Recess Monkey make a point of revisiting the same joke/message twice:

GUIDO & MONKEY 19 JAN PODCAST – (02:33):

“Can you imagine if you were sitting at home watching Big Brother or something and Mark Oaten rings you up, saying ‘Please, can I have your support?’. It’s like… ‘Yeah, just fuck off, and stay away from my kids.'”

“Is he the creepiest Lib-Dem candidate?”

“Yeah, I think he is. Yeah, he’s definitely gay*.”

“Wouldn’t want him near school playground.”

(jokes about pallid complexions and comb-overs, then a change of subject)

“Anyway… Leo.”

“I don’t think Mark Oaten has touched Leo.”

[*This word is talked over… but it was formed of one syllable, began with a strong ‘g’ and rhymed with ‘hey’. Perhaps they said he was definitely ‘grey’? As in pallid? Works for me Your Honour.]

[UPDATE – Here you go; judge for yourself (23kb WMA). Back to the show… seven minutes later… same gag all over again.]

GUIDO & MONKEY 19 JAN PODCAST – (09:08):

“Do you know what? I would be quite concerned if I saw him hanging around outside a playground.”

“He does have the look of a paedo about him.”

(laughter, then, in a put-on voice…)

“Our legal advice is that Mark Oaten is not a paedophile.”

(change of subject)

“Ah, Leo Blair…”

“No, I don’t think Mark Oaten’s ever been touching Leo…”

Message: If you are a homosexual, you are a pervert. Therefore, no perversion is beneath you. Ipso facto (conspectus procto) if you are a homosexual, you are also a kiddie-fiddler. (Also, there is no such thing as a bisexual. A bisexual is simply a homosexual who hasn’t made his or her mind up yet… between men, women and children, that is.)

It’s a compelling argument (made even more compelling by use of the word ‘rent-boy’ to describe a 23-year-old man), and it’s one echoed by many of those who claim to be our moral guardians, but Guido & Recess Monkey should be warned that it is unlikely to stand up in court.

UPDATE – Before making the script for the podcast, this view was aired by Guido on Jan 9th: “Oaten? A slaphead who most mothers would feel uneasy seeing near a playground.”








Posted in The Political Weblog Movement, Tolerance | 3 Comments

Opportunities

Posted on January 23, 2006 by Tim Ireland

Only 2 days left on the Bloggerheads advertising auction. With a low reserve and 30,000 impressions from 20,000 unique visitors up for grabs, a bargain goes begging.

If your budget won’t stretch this far, you may instead consider advertising on the Million Dollar Willy.

UPDATE (25 Jan) – Tch. No bids. I may try again; we shall see.








Posted in Updates | 1 Comment

Attention to detail

Posted on January 23, 2006 by Tim Ireland

Independent – Westminster ‘misled’ over CIA torture flights: Pressure over the use of British airports for secret CIA torture flights increased dramatically yesterday after it emerged that a Foreign Office minister misled Parliament over a meeting between the UN and UK civil servants about the issue. The Independent on Sunday has learnt that Lord Triesman, the Foreign Office minister, misled peers when he told the House of Lords that no such meeting had ever occurred. But Martin Scheinin, the UN Human Rights Commission’s special rapporteur, travelled to London to hold meetings with Home Office and Foreign Office officials between 21 and 22 November last year. He raised concerns about the issue of “extraordinary rendition” – the policy of moving terror suspects to countries that use torture – and is so concerned following the lack of disclosure that he is writing to ministers. In his recent parliamentary reply to Lord Oakeshott of Seagrove Bay, the senior Liberal Democrat MP, Lord Triesman said: “As far as we are aware, Foreign and Commonwealth Office officials have not held meetings with United Nations officials since 1 November on extraordinary rendition.” The Foreign Office admitted yesterday that the answer was incorrect and that one of its civil servants had been at a Home Office meeting with Dr Scheinin, where rendition was discussed, eight weeks ago… In a report last year, the committee accused the Government of failing to answer questions about extraordinary rendition “with the transparency and accountability required on so serious an issue”. The report called on the Government to “end its policy of obfuscation and that it give straight answers” to questions posed by MPs. Andrew Tyrie, the Tory chairman of the all-party parliamentary group on rendition, accused the Government of “wilful ignorance” and said he had first written to ministers about the issue in 2003.

Meanwhile, the spirit of openness continues as the government gives yet another important issue the attention it deserves….

Soldiers to sue MoD for lives blighted by Iraq: The decision by ministers to publish figures on servicemen injured in Iraq is a gesture too late for many. Now The Observer can reveal 15 soldiers are to take action against the government…. A year ago, a parliamentary answer put the number of British servicemen and women wounded in Iraq at 794. Last Wednesday afternoon, The Observer was sent figures by the MoD claiming that 177 British men and women had been wounded as a result of hostile action in Iraq. Shortly after midday last Friday this had changed again when Reid announced that in fact this figure was 230, including 40 very seriously injured. At least 11 are known to have lost limbs. The previous figure of almost 800 was suddenly ‘withdrawn’ and would ‘never be used again’. Sources from the MoD struggled to explain the sudden discrepancy, saying only that previous figures were invalid. But the new data raised their own questions, omitting as it did, the fact that 3,800 UK personnel had been hospitalised after being airlifted from Iraq without any detailed explanation of their condition. As Reid said: ‘It depends upon the definition of casualty.’

Yes… it much the same way that you might say that it depends upon your definition of the words ‘meeting’ or ‘torture’….








Posted in It's War! It's Legal! It's Lovely! | Comments Off on Attention to detail

“Excuse me, would you mind watching my kids?”

Posted on January 23, 2006 by Tim Ireland

Independent – Fury as police file children’s DNA: The Government last night came under fire from MPs and civil liberties campaigners after it emerged that the DNA profiles of 24,000 children who have never been charged or convicted of an offence are stored on the UK database. Tory MP Grant Shapps obtained the Home Office figures when a constituent’s son was wrongly arrested and DNA taken. After protests, the local chief constable agreed to remove the boy’s details, but Mr Shapps then discovered that profiles of 24,000 youngsters aged 10 to 18 were stored.

Telegraph – Police keep DNA files on 24,000 innocent children: The Government defends the current system. However, as political pressure mounted the Association of Chief Police Officers said it is developing guidelines to allow individuals to be removed from the database “in exceptional circumstances”. More than three million Britons have their DNA stored on the database. Since 2002 samples have been linked to evidence at the scenes of 96 murders and 116 rapes.

Chicken Yoghurt – When innocence in no defence: Isn’t that kind? Stuart Hyde: taking the police work out of police work. If some DNA evidence turns up at a crime scene they can run it against the database of all those people just to make sure they’re still innocent. Don’t worry sir, we can re-establish your innocence in a matter of moments. Everyone’s a suspect until the computer says they’re not.








Posted in The War on Stupid | Comments Off on “Excuse me, would you mind watching my kids?”

Free Wally

Posted on January 23, 2006 by Tim Ireland

Appropriate responses to the death of an innocent mammal (tick one):

[ ] Sadness
[ ] Sadness tempered with a sense of inevitability
[ ] Sadness tempered with a sense of priorities
[ ] “Hang on, there might be a quid in this…”

The Scum – Memorial to Wally whale: The Sun today launches a 10,000 pound appeal to save Wally the Whale’s bones for the nation. We have teamed up with experts and conservationists to help preserve the skeleton for crucial scientific research. We also want to provide a lasting tribute to the whale that captivated the world by swimming up the Thames into central London. Wally – who died on Saturday after two days of drama – belongs to the Queen under a salvage law passed in 1324.

I’m sorry but, as of now, ‘Wally’ is the property of News International.

Let’s go to Page 3 for the round-up:

Today, Keeley (19, from Kent) gets her cha-chas out to praise The Sun for saving Wally’s remains and says: “I was really sad that rescue workers were unable to save Wally. It is right that scientists try to find out more about her. They may stop a tragedy happening again.”

Myself, I’m really sad that they couldn’t afford Lady Diana this same level of respect.








Posted in Page 3 - News in Briefs, Rupert 'The Evil One' Murdoch | 2 Comments

Reasons to be fearful

Posted on January 23, 2006 by Tim Ireland

Teh FearThe Scum – Poll shows anxious Britain: Modern living is causing a culture of fear in Britain today, a shock new poll of Sun readers reveals. You worry more about CRIME, HEALTH and MONEY than you did 15 years ago. But it is the horrors of porn on the INTERNET, chatroom PERVS, VIOLENCE against kids, DRUGS and the hoodie YOB CULTURE which cause you most anxiety. Almost nine out of ten Sun readers (86 per cent) in the MORI opinion poll want those guilty of serious sexual crimes against kids to be put away for life. And four out of ten (41 per cent) said child sex abusers should get the death penalty. There is overwhelming support across the board for The Sun’s campaign for prison ships to solve the crisis of overcrowded jails. Most people are against sending fewer convicted criminals to prison or making jail terms shorter. Almost six out of ten (57 per cent) reject the view that fewer should be jailed and shorter jail terms were rejected by over eight out of ten readers. Almost two out of three (65 per cent) say that if there are not enough cells, converted ferries should be used as floating prisons. And Sun readers are prepared to take tough action against murderers. Almost half (48 per cent) want the death penalty for murdering a policeman on duty – that increases to 58 per cent for murder by terrorists. More than six out of ten (61 per cent) would bring back hanging for murdering a child. By contrast, only nine per cent want the gallows for killing a husband or wife in a fit of rage. There is strong opposition across the board to early release of prisoners sentenced to life for murder. Four out of five (82 per cent) of you are opposed. Everyone worries about youngsters in this age of drugs and violent crime. But the MORI survey shows that half of Sun readers are very worried about the dangers of the internet. In the past three weeks 46 per cent say they have fretted a great deal about protecting their children from internet porn and 55 per cent about paedophiles contacting children through chatrooms. Many people share a fear that Britain is increasingly unsafe to raise children in a society blighted by yob culture. Almost six out of ten readers (56 per cent) worry about not having enough cash, well above 39 per cent in 1991, when the question was first asked. More than half (55 per cent) are concerned about health, sharply up from 41 per cent, and 54 per cent are anxious about children’s education, up from 38 per cent. Vandalism and crime alarm 50 per cent of people, up from 42 per cent. And six out of ten of you are upset by disrespectful or nuisance behaviour. The other hot issues covered in the survey, including your worries about bird flu, school truancy, under-age sex and terrorism, are shown in our graphics on these pages.

OK, what can we determine from all of this?

1. Sun readers represent the heart and soul of Britain. What applies to them applies to all of us.

2. It is modern living that causes these anxieties, not the irresponsible and manipulative behaviour of the Sun itself.

3. Prisons ships and the death penalty are the way forward.

The primary ‘fear’ graphic shows the clear priorities of Rebekah Wade Sun readers; the two top fears are ‘paedophiles in internet chatrooms’ and ‘internet pornography’… terrorism ranks 5th.

*sigh*

It seems like only yesterday that the Backing Blair truck issued this warning to the people on the street: The internets are full of pornography! Stay away from the internets! Place your trust instead in the many fine media outlets owned by Rupert Murdoch.

UPDATE – CuriousHamster – Murdoch’s just this guy








Posted in Rupert 'The Evil One' Murdoch | 1 Comment

Exciting new thing

Posted on January 22, 2006 by Tim Ireland

I noticed that the NOTW site has a bit of a ‘fish-wrapper’ thing going on, so have set up a new weblog that will post/preserve one NOTW article per week and invite comment. I expect it’ll get shot down pretty quickly, but it’s a trend worth starting, I feel:

News Of The World – Archived Tabloid Stories








Posted in Rupert 'The Evil One' Murdoch | 4 Comments

Spot the twat

Posted on January 21, 2006 by Tim Ireland

BBC – Oaten resigns over rent boy claim: Former Liberal Democrat leadership challenger Mark Oaten has stood down as the party’s home affairs spokesman over an alleged affair with a rent boy. Mr Oaten released a statement apologising for the “embarrassment” caused to his family, friends and the Liberal Democrat party.

Dick’s Diary – My local MP is a twat: Oh dear who is a silly boy ? Must be something in the water. Was bad enough that Stephen Milligan the former local Lib Dem MP was found dead wearing stockings and suspenders with an orange in his mouth and a bag on his head. Now Mark Oaten MP for Winchester, married with two kids admits an error of judgement having been caught by the tabloids with his pants down.

Bloody hell.. I’m a (former) foreigner and even I know that Stephen Milligan was a Conservative MP…. and that there’s a difference between an orange and a satsuma.








Posted in The War on Stupid | Comments Off on Spot the twat